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THE JEFFEKSON £g& NEWS & FABMEE.
Vol. 2.
THE
NEWS & FAFMEE
BY
S. W. ROBERTS & BROTHER.
Published every Thursday Moving
AT
LOUISVILLE. GEORGIA.
FBiqE OF SyBSCRIPTIQNi
IN ADVANCE.
One copy, one year...... $2.00
“ “ Six months ............. 1.00
*« ■* Three months 50
When paid in six or twelve months
after date of subscription 2.50
For ft'Club-ef-FA'c, or more, we »UI allow a
, dedmjipy 0j35 per cent Ajff, # cosh jaUs, r fro-
Mc/eJ.'Tnaftnp cash accdmpany (Be order.
ADVERTISING RATES.
Transient Advertising. -One dollar per square,
(oue inch) for first insertion, and 75 cents for
each subsequent insertion.
A liberal deduction made on contract adver
Using,
Local Notices will be charged 15 cents per
line each insertion.
All personal Communications of "it offensive
character will be charged at the rates ot one
DOttAit fjer']iue(. }
AU bills for advertising in this paper are,
due after first insertion of the advertisment,
and will be presented—except by special ar
rangement—at the pleasure ot the proprietors.
LEGAL ADVERTISING. (
Ordinary's, —Citations for letters of admin
istration, guardianship, &c $5 00
Homestead notice - 3-tlO
Application for dism’n from adm’n 6 (l 0
Application for dism’n of guard’ll 5.1)0
Application tor leave to sell Land... 5.00
*oti«e to Debtors and-Gsediters 4.00
Sales ot Land,per square often 1ine5...... 5.00
Sales of personal per sq., ten days 2.00
Sheriff's —Each levy of ten lines,.. 3 00
Mortgage sales often lines or less 5.00
Tax Collector’s sales, persqr., (2 months,.. 5.00
Clerk’s —Foreclosure of mortgage and
other monthly’s, per square...... 4.00
Esiray notices thirty days 3.00
Sales of Laud, by Administrators, Executors
or Guardians, are required, by law to be held
On the first Tuesday in the month, between the
hears of ten in the forenoon and three in the
afternoon, at the Court-house in the county in
Which the property is situaied.
Notice of these sales must be published 40
days previous to the’day ofsale.
Notice for ihe sale of personal property must
be published 10 days previous to sale day.
Notice to debtors and oreditors, 40 days.
Notice that application will be made to the
Court of Ordinary for leave to sell, land, 4
weeks.
Citations for letters of Administration, Guar
dianship, &/c , must be published 30 days—for
dismisrion from Administration, three months—
for dismission Iron} Guardianship, 40 days.
Rules for foreclosures of Mortgages must be
published monthly for four months —for estab
lishing lost papers, for the full space of three
months—tor compelling titles from Executors or
Administrators, where bond has been given by
the deceased, the full space of three months.
Application for Homestead to be published
within tlie space of ten consecutive days.
PROFESSIONAL GAUDS.
J. G. Cain. J. H. Polhill.
CAIN & POLHILL,!
ATTORNEYS AT LAW
LOUISVILL, GA.
May 5, 1871. 1 Ty.
R. W. Carswell. W. F. Denny.
Carswell & Denny,
ATTOKJYEVS AT i.lir
LOUISVILLE, GEORGIA,
WILL practice in all the Counties in the
Middle Circuit. Also Burke in Augus
ta Circuit. All business entrusted to their
care will meet with prompt attention.
Nov. 3. g 7
w. H. vYATKINS,
ATTORNEY AT LAW.
iLouCstnlle, <Ga.
Will practice in the middle Circuit. Special
Attention given to the Collection of CLAIMS.
JAS. R. T. ALLEN, WM. A. TOMPKIN9
ATTORNEYS AT LAW
WRIGHTSVILLE, GA.
All hnsiness entrusted to their care wil
meet.with prompt attention.
Particular attention given to the collection
-of claims,
July 3, 1871. 13 ts
MEDICAL.
DR. J. R. SMITH, late of Sandersville Ga.,
offers’ liis Professional services to the citU
sens of Louisville, and Jefferson county- An
'experience of nearly forty years in the profes
sion,should entitle him to. Public Confidence;
Special attention paid to Obstetrics and diseases
ofwdtnen and children. Office at residence,
Lonisville.
Louisville June2Q, 1871. - Btf.
A. F. DURHAM, M, D.
PHI’VH’M.V J.I O Nt KCBO.T,
, SPARTA, GEORGIA.
SUCCESS FOLLY taeats diseases of Lungs
and Throat, diseases of the Eye, Nose and
Ear, and all form, of Dropsy; diseases of the
Heart, Kidneys,Bladder and Stricture, seoret'
diseases, long standiug ulcers ; removes Hem
orrhoidal Tumors withot pain ;■ mqkes a spe
ciality of diseasea peculiar to females. Medi
cines sent to any point on Railroad by Express.
' All tfci respoudence confidential.
Juue 13, 1872. 1?
J. W. COOLEY,
BSffiSt®’®, '»
WILL be in Louisville the first week of each
mouth. All work warranted ,
DENTISTRY. .
DR. CHAS.E., STEED, ia pleased to au t
nonnee to the citizens of this sefction, tha.
he is prepared to do work on time with city ac
ceptance. All work warranted.
Louisville, March 11, 1872. ts
Louisville, Jefferson County, Ga., Thursday, August 22, 1872.
MISCELLANEOUS ADVETISEMENTS.
new sprinq
AND
fill ©@©lDlj 0
. ... I ami dyily receivings qfioice and desira
ble -
©S'® ©©©©§!«
The latest novelties in DRESS GOODS.
LADIES MADE SUITS. ►
I have now on hand a fine assortment of
Cassitnerc's Cottanadcs aad Linen's
for Gentleman’s wear, which Will be offered at
the lowes-t prices.
GEORGE WEBER,
Bee Hive Store.
No. 176 Broad Street,
Apr. 18 ts. Opposite, AUGUSTA HOTEL.
T. F. HARLOW
watch
—AND—' ' •' j
REPAIRER,
LOUISVILLE, GA.
Special attention given to rino
vafftilr and Yepai ring WATCHES- CLOCKS,
JEWELRY, SEWING MACIUNES&c., fee,
Also Agent for the Home Shuttle Sewing
Machine.
May 5,1871. { r * ;> 1 If
VERY PERSON admits that a
COOKING STOVE
is indespensable in a well regulated and eco
nomical family.. Therefore do not delay in
getting one; but go directly to
in
and buy either the
‘PHILANTHROPIST,”
“CHIEF COOK,”
O r
“COTTON PLANT.”'
© Q ©©©©©&?;©?£*
Stove snd Tin Ware Dealer, near James T.
Bothwell, Augnsta, Ga , Oct. 6, 23 ly.
J. M. Neblet, Wm. M. Goodrich.
COTTON gins.
WE the undersigned, respectfully inform
the planting community that we con
tinue to manufacture COT'TON GINS. We
were awarded the Premium, open to the world,
for the Gin at the Cotton Stales Mechanics’
and Agricultural Fair, held at augnsta last
season. Also, reoeived the First Premium at
the State Fair of South Cafolinar. We feel
warranted in saying that a trial of our Gins is
all that is necessary to guarantee satisfaction.
Orders solicited early in the season to prevent
delay.
Old Gins repaired on reasonable terms.
NEBLETT & GOODRICH.
Appril 23 6m.
GROVER AND BAKER SEWING
MACHINE.
For Simplicity, Ease of Operation, and Du
rability, the GROVER &• BAKER SEWING
MACHINE isunarivalled. Responsible Agents
wanted in every town in the Stale.
Addr <‘‘B3, _ |
GROVER & BAKERB.M. CO..
21 i Bull St., Savannah, Ga’.
April. 23 3m
SPOTSWOOD HOTEL
sHacon, (Chi.,
Nearly opposite Passenger Depot,
and only one minutes walk. Board,
$3.00 per day.
THOMAS H. HARRIS,
Proprietor.
Apl. ISth, 1572. ts.
Wm. D. Davidson, Joseph Brummel.
Davidson & Brummel,
282 Broita St., Angusta, Ga.
RECTIFIERS, IMPORTERS and WHOLE
SALE DEALERS IN ■
IFliliilMM a
LIQUORS,
BRANDIES, WINES, GIN,
PORTER, ALE, ETC.
OBACCO and SEGAR3 of every VARIETY
April 11, 1872. 49 6m.
SOUTHERN MUSICAL JOURNAL.
Ludden & Bates, Publishers,
Published monthly at the low price of SI.OO a
year* . A first class magazine of its kind, beau
tifully gotten up, and mast ably edited. Thor
oughly Southern in ite tone it should be found
in evqrjr musical family throughout the South.
fi contains each month sixteen pages, (jsheet
music size,) of Mpsjcal sketches. Hints, Cprres
«ienee, Melange, 1 instructive Editorials
them Marital Notes, and Instrumental Mu
sic, etc- , Teu Dollars worth of. Shoice tnusic
SVed during th.e year. ’Ry a special arrange
ent we can .offer thismageziiia as a premium
for TWO. new subscribers, to tbe If tips J- Firmer,
■pin furnish the Journal and News if Farmer
eether for $2.50. Address allordersltd
S. W. ROBERTS * 880,
Louisville, Ga.
JJoctrg.
The Manliest Ran.
BY GEORGE >v. BUNGAY.
The manliest man of alt the race,
Whose heart is open as bis face,
Puts forth his hand to help another.
‘l'is not the blood of kith or kin,
‘Tis uot the color of the skin ;
‘Tis the true heart which beats within
Which makes the man, a man and brother.
His words are warm upon his lips,
His h art beats to his fingers tips,
He s a friend and loyal neighbor,
Sweet children kiss him on the way,
And women trust him, for they may,
He owes no debt he cannot pay;
He earns his bread with honest labor.
He lifts the fallen from the ground,
And put his feet upon the round
Os dreaming Jacobis starry ladder,
Which lifts him higher, day by day,
Toward the bright and Heavenly Wfayi
And furlher irons the tempter’s sway;
Which stiuget h like the angry adder*
He strikes oppression to the dust,
He shares the blows ainiefi at the just,
He shrinks not from tbe post of danger,
And in the thickest of the fight
He battles bravely for tbe right,
For that is mightier tlmn might,
Though cradled in an ba üble manger.
Hail to the manly man, he comes ;
Not with the sound of horns and drums.
Though giand as any duke, and grander ,
Ite dawns upon the world, ami light
Dispels the dreary gloom of night,
And ills, like bats and owi». take flight;
i He ? s greater than great Alesnndjr.
Is There no Rest for the Heart.
. .1 BY OZO. KLINGLB.
Is there no rest for the heart 7
The wild bird ruffling h is fleckered breast
Chants on th,e winds and finds his rest;
Chants on the winds and the wild woods start
Answering notes for his waiting heart.
Is there no rest, oh winds 7
Tlie wild flower shiveringbeneath the storm,
Shook by the brook, or m silence born,
Fragrance sends forth,and tho wQdjwood flings
Back fragrance and rest on thy quivering
wings.
Is there no rest for the heart 1
The moth of gold on the scented air
Seeks for its rest and finds it w here,
In the glance of tho sunbe ams tbe gold wings
part,
The quiver of wings brings rest to bis heart.
But is there no rest for man 7
Tin! wild glancing bird, the humblest flower,
The golden moth jof the sunlit hour
Drink of life and joy with unsullied zest— -
But oh, Heart of man, where is thy rest I
Beyond, above, where celestial air
Rocks with new anthems, and angles
wear
The glory ofGod* Jehovah’s crest,
• There, Heart of man, there is thy rest,
[ jHtsceUancoug.
For the News J* Fanner.
THE SCHOOL LAW.
' 111.
Editors.—When a nvin
becomes a member of civil govern
meut he enters into contract vvithiu
And he agrees first, to give up to it
some ot what would otherwise be
his natural rights and privileges,
such as the defense and mame
nance of his individual and social
rights and interests. And he agrees
secondly, to pay that government
whatever amount may be due Irom
him to secure and defend these
rights for him. And each member
ought to pay in exact proportions
to the individual, familiar, relative
and pecuniary interests he has to
defend. And as the government is
the cieature of the people, it is their
best policy and highest wisdom to
have these rights and interests de
fended both securely and cheaply as
possible. This is the idea out of
which grows, and on which rests
every system of public or State
Schools - Government says: “I can
maniain law, order, peace and pros
perity, and secure to each individu
al his civil rights and interests in
the best manner, end the most
cheaply, by taking part of the mon
ey which he pays for my support
and educating the mass of the peo
ple with it.” Whether this saying
of government is true or untrue,j
wise or nnwise in our present codi
lion, is the question now at issue,
and to be determined by experiment.
True, many very powerful argu
ments may be andhave been adduced
both for and against this saying of
government. But it is now 100 late
to use such arguments, for the law
is upon; us Jefferson County must
either take hold of it with earnest
energy and free good will and give
it a fair, honest, candid trial, from
its quality, and reap its benefits* or I
she must let it alone, pay her cfWn !
tuition privately, lose whatever fid- I
vantage may be “in public schoibls, I
anil yet contribute her full shafts of
the money (neattjf half enough to
educate all her children) to furbish
schools in and’for other counties.
The question “shall we have
public schools and pay for thetto?”'
If that were the question arid the’
writer were forced to debate it, I e
candidly admits that in view ofoui
sparce population and its mixed
chaiacter, the necessary inequality
of the burden of taxation, and other
facts seeming or real, he would
hesitate long or take the negative.
But the fret is, we are forced to
pay for public schools. And thi
only' question left lor us to decide,
is, will we have them and makethf
most of them ? And this question
evidently answers itself «o inlelli
gent people. Nor should we com
plain. For, right or wrong, iht
civilization of the age has decided
ihal the S ate—either thegeneralor
the particular govern nent —should
establish and maintain a system ot
education of rome sori. The writ
er has bis re him the voluminous
Report ot tl.e head otlhe Bureau of
Education, at Washington, D. C.,
for the year ending with Februrary
1572. It contains the statistics of
elementary educaiion in every pari
of the world, and shows that then
is not a civillized S.ate on the Eas
tern Continent which has not got a
system of elementary ei.ucation es
tablished and maniained by the
Slate. And in many ol them, the
duty of sending each child to these
schools is made binding on eve y
parent by law. This seems, and
indeed is harsh and oppressive.
And yet the government where it
obtains, are the best educated peo
pie on the globe. And those coun
tries of Euiope where this is not
the law, ihoi.ghthey have public
schools, siiil have less learned and
civillized population. And it fe
claimed that ibis fact is what gave
Prussia her vast advantage and
overwhelming success in the late
conflict between her and France.
In Prussia educaiion is compulso
ry and all are educated solidly. In
France they have public schools, but
attendance is voluntary, and general
educaiion of that light and superfi
cial character which only enervates
without benelitting much, A think
ing few carry mind for the unthink
ing many, which is a great evil in
any government, but especially in a
republic, it always generates both
corruption and anarchy. It is
what ails our goyernment. Educa
lion should be voluntary’. But it
should be of that grave general and
solid character which will of itself,
promt every parent to send it to
every child and to every distant
genera’ion.
Many of the Stales of South
America have established public
schools, but too recently to have
demonstrated many beneficial re
sults. And there is noione of these
United Slates which has not now a
public school law of some sort.
Sued being ihe voice of tlie civil
-1 zation of the age in which we live
we should the more readily hear it,
and as the necessity of ihe school is
upon us .by law, we should the more
cheerfully try its workings, make
ourselves ma-tersofits details, and
be prepared to reap any good there
may be in it, and to guard against
any evils it might otherwise enatil.
And with all the real objection
which can bo urged against it, and
they are numerous enough, it will
be strange, if in a very few years
it does not become popular and
show by irs fiuits anil the deep
hold it will take upon the popular
mind and heart, that it is what we
need most ofall.inorderto individu
al social and civil prosperity and
advancement.
The m >st weighty objections which
press against this system among us
are—tln-y must be laxed to educate
the many—some who pay taxes,
perhaps largely, can enjoy none
of the individual benefits—one race
must educate another—our popula
tion is so spatce that schools cannot
be located in reach of every one
who pays and who is entitled to the
benefits—parents cannot always
have such teachers or schools as
they prefer—-it takes the education
'of children to some degree out of the
hands of parents, its natural custo
dians—it creates new offices to be
filled and new labors to be paid for
by the people—it does not give to
parents the choice of bhoks their
children are to use,'&c. &c. I pro
pose,.Mess. Editors, if you will allow
me, to review these objections in a
few brief scattering letters, and to
point out a few of the corresponing
benefits to be gained. It may be
the objections are not so grave,
whilst the benefi's may be more
i numerous than 4ye have bgen. will-
I ing tq admit. If we have to swal
low a* bii ter pill let US at least have
I libeVfy’ to sugar it over, or at least
to roll it in mousses.
Reaped fully &c.,
When does a- man sneeze thfee
times 1 ? When he can’t help it.
For the News J Farmer.
WHAT DO YOU SUPPOSE IT IS 7
BY LULA
If it be true, that “there is an
evil amohg all the things that are
under the sun,” and we have the
best of all authority for believing it,
there must surely be a remedy for
that evil. Such was the conclusion,
after matuie deliberation, of a par
ty—do not be frightened—it was
not a “woman’s rights association,”
nor any of the pernicious cliques,
clans, leagues or unions, for the
“distribution of universal elevation
among the female sex,” which flour
ish so luxuriously across tlie Poto
mac j still it was a responsible party
—none of whom were old 1 enough
to vote however —who deliberated
so maturely, and best of all* they
not only found the long sought tor
remedy, for which hopeless humani
ty have suffered through- so : many
weary ages ; but found it also a cure
for far more than half-the “ills that
flesh are lieir to.” The secret is still
in our possession but we, keenly
alive to the wants of our suffering
fellow creatures, have resolved that
it shall be divulged now ; for never
since ! the days of .’Solomon, who
doubtless possessed this secret, as he
did some others, has there been such
a pressing, all absorbing demand for
a universal panacea for a rapidly
growing evil, as in this enlightened
nineteenth century.
It Was resolved secondly, that we
should first ofter our heart-felt, earn
est thanks to that vast army of no
ble, self-sacrificing riien, North and
South, who, neglecting every other
interest, are devoting themselves sq
exclusively to the reformation of out
dress, dispositions, morals and man
ners.
Let it no longer be said that we
are ungrateful lor their kindness or
forgetful of their eflbrts in our be
half.
How much do wc owe to the
newspapers of to-day ? To their Ed
itors, their Locals, and even to their
travelling agents, who, penetrating
into every nook and corner, from the
luxurious cities, fanned by the invig
orating breezes of the Gulf to the
backwoods villages, chilled by the
snows of the Blue Ridge, tell us of
our errors, of our too multitudinous
flounces, of our ponderous chignons,
our numerous curls, and beg us at
parting, with tearful eyes to “take
their invaluable family Journal” with
the largest circulation of any other
paper in the South, where in eve
ry other column we may again re
ceive “line upon line—and pricapt
upon precept.”
Shakespeare surely spoke for him
self alone when he said: “I had
rather teach twenty men what were
good to be done, than to be one of
the twenty to follow mine own
teachings.”
Wc know this to be true, for have
they not in their devotion to our
toilets, allowed their own coats and
p , we mean other articles of
clothing, to contract into the very
scantiest dimensions ? And have they
not even neglected the improvement
of their very great minds, and very
little manners, that we may be so
reformed in mind and especially in
temper that we will “smile and make
home happy” from “morn til dewy
eve,” not only on every male occu
pant if our own homes, but also up
on the newspapere-man, who walks
through the dusty village streets,
and peeps through our shutters to
see that we are obeying liis precepts.
Thackery also must have been
grea’ly mistaken when he said: “The
girls have only to turn the tables and
say of one of their own sex, she is
as vain as a man.”
' The bearded creatures are quite
as eager for praise, quite as finikin
over their toilets, quite as conscious
of their powers of fascination as any
coquett in the land.
How could a man who so prided
himself on his knowledge of human
nature be so misguided in his judg
ment ?
Not to weary in well doing, let
us again thgnk these journalistic he
roes, who so bravely undertake our
reformation, and beg that they will
still press forward with unflinching
courage, and if they do not abate
one inch of flounce or one ounce of
chignon, they will at least have the
glorious satisfaction of knowing that
they have done what they could,
and have accomplished altogether as
much as was expected of them.
There is another very large class
to whom our poor meed of thanks
.is due. We mean those who mouth
after months week after week, in'
season and put of, season, (very of
ten) from the pulpit, through the
and along the high ways
and hedges as they journey, though
the land, point out to us our glaring
misdeeds both in dress and conver
sation.
How often have we seen then! -in
drawing-rooms, and quiet family 1 cir
cles, with heroic self-sacrifice, turn
a .leaf ear to the intellectual con
versation of the men and pass by
the plain, sensibly dressed woman,
whom no doubt they would delight
to honor, and devote themselves
through a long weary evening to
the reformation of a frivolous being
that you might mistake for a fashion
plate, if you did not hear the "fre
quent —< Hi me !la 1 and wasn't it
funnv ! that issued from tlie lips of
the poor vain foolishly attired creat
ure.
We deeply regret, to the former
■alone, we have no thanks to ofter,
for lit: alone has done nothing (or
our improvement. While lie boasts
that tlie government itself rests on
his brawny shoulders, ami is defen
ded bv his strong arm, he utterly
forgets us. Ile plows, plants, reaps,
and gathers into his garners, forget
ful of every thing but his own af
fairs. Wc have no hope of divert
ing his attention from such trivial
tilings as corn, wheat and potatoes,
but cati only say in dispair “He is
joined to liis idols—let him alone.”
Ami now as it was lastly resolved,
let us—while with the deepest con
trition we acknowledge our mani
fold imperfections, offer in words,
that cannot, wc trust, be construed
into fulsome flattery—our sincere ad
miration of the exalted virtues, the
magnanimity, the heroic self-sacrifice
of that noble band of reformers, and
timidly, humbly suggest the one
thing needful to make them perfeet
beings, nobly planned the secret, the
secret discovered as we have said
among the dusty archives of the
past, mouldy from long disuse—
which in. glowing characters might
he inscribed on the lintels of other
people’s doors, on the stems of their
own pipes, on the brims of our hats,
and the hems of our flounces, on
their bottles of “Plantation Bitters”
where “morning, noon and night,”
(and perhaps oftener, it may meet
the eye and which secret for the sake
of convenience, may be resolved in
to these very few words—almost in
an unknown tongue we fear —mind
your own business:
Courtship. —’Twns a carm still
nite in Joon. All nater was husht
and nary zviler disturbed the screen
silens. J sot with Betsey Jane on
the sense of her father’s pastur.—
Wee’d been rompin threw the woods,
kullin flowers and drivin the wood
chuch from his Nativ Lair (so to
speak) with long sticks. Wall we
sot thar on the sense, a swingin our
feet two and fro, blushin as red as
the Baldinsville skool house when it
was fust painted, and lookin very
simple, I make no douht. My left
arm was ockepied in ballunsiu my
self on the sense, while my rite
was woundid luvinly round her
waste.
I cleared my throat and trembling
ly sed, “Iletsy, you’re a Gazelle.”
I thought that air pretty fine. I
waitid to see what efteck it would
hav upon her. It evidently didn’t
tetch her, for she up and sed.
“You’re a sheep!”
Sez I, “Betsy, I think very much
ly of you.”
“I dont b’leeve a word you say—
so there now cum !” with which ob
sarvashun she hitched away from
me.
“I wish ther wer winders to my
Sole,” sed I “so that yon could see
some ,(5f my feelins. There’s fire
etiufl' in here,” sez I, stvikin my
buzviun with my fist, “to bile all the
corn beef and turnips in the naber
hood. Versoovius and the Critter
ain’t a Circumstuns.
She bowd her hed down and com
mcnat chawin the string to her
sun bonnet.
“Ar could you know the sleeplis
nites I worry threw with on your
account, how vittles has seized to be
attractiv to me, and how my lims
has shrunk'up, you wouldn’t dovvt
me. Gase on this wastin form and
these ’ere sunken checks—”
I should have continnered dn this
strane probly for sum time, but un
fortnitly I lost my ballunse and fell
over into the pastur ker smash, tear
in my close and seveerly damagin
myself ginerally.
Betsy Jane sprung to my assis
tance in dubble quick time and
dragged mp 4th. Then drawin her
self up to her lull hitfi she soil:
“I won’t listen tq your nanceijts
no longer. Jo* say rite., strafe out
what your’e drivin at, If you mean
gettiu hitched, I’* «r r
...I considered that air euuff for all
practical purpusses, and we pro
ceedlyi.immejitly to tJhe parsons and
was made 1 that very pife.
Jtfo. 16.
Nervousness.
A good story has been told of a
lisping officer in the United State
army having been victimized by a
brother officer (who was noted for
bis cool, deliberation and strong
nerves.) and his getting suare with
himiutiie f jlowing manner; The
cool joker, the captain, was always
qitizzing theliS|'irigoflif'er,a JieuteTi
j mil for !rs nervousness.
l ‘U h\ ,” saiti he, rtflc daV, in the
j presence of his company, ‘ nervous
ness is all n •riserist ;'! tell ve’n lieu
tenant, no brave mhn will ! be ner
vous.”
‘■W. II.” inquired his lisping
triend,” “how w ould you do, tlipose
a shell with an inch futhee thould
drop iitheif in a willed angle, in
which you had taken tire lifer from a
company of tharp-iliooterth, and
vc here it was thertarrr, rfyou put out
your not he, you’d get peppered ?’’
“How ? ’ said the captain, wink
ing at lire circle, ‘"‘why, take it cool,
and spit on lire fusee.”
The party then broke up, and all
retired except tire patrol. The next
morning a number ofsoldiers were
assembled on the parade, and talk
ing in clusters, when along came
the lisping lieutenant. Lazily open
inghiseyes, remarked: •
“I want to try art experiment
ihiih morning, and thee how ex*
theedmgly'Cool voti can hr.”
Saving this, hew ilkcd deliberately
into the captain’s quarters, Where a
lire was burning on the hearth, and
pla< ed in its hottest cenlre a pow
der canister, andinstnnily retreated.
There was but one made of egress
trom tin- quarters, and that was Up
on the parade-ground, the road be*
ing built up for defence : the occu
pant took one look at the canister*
comprehended his si nation, and in
a tnonent dashed at the door, but it
was fastened on the outside.
“Charley, lei me out if you love
me!” shouted the captain. i
‘ Thpit on the camber!” shouted
he, in return.
Not a moment was to be lost; he
had at frst snatched up a blanket
to cover his egress, but now, drop
ping it, he raised the window, and
oui he hounded, sans culottes, sans
everything but a very short under
garment, and thus, with hair almost
on end, he dashed upon a full pa
rade-ground. The shout which
hailed lum brought out the whole
barracks to see What was the mat
ter. and the digified captain pulled
a sergant in trout of him to hide
birr self. . ” *
, “Why didn’t you thpit on it ?” in
quired the lieutenant.
.“Because there were no sharp
shooters in front to stop a retreat/’
answered the captain.
“All I got to thay, then, ith,”
said the lieutenant, “that you might
tllately have done it, for there
wathn’t a thiugle grain of powder
in it.”.
The captain has never spoken of
nervousness since.
Jonathan and Paddy were riding
together, when they came in sight
of what is very unusual in any civ
ilized State nowadays, an old gal
lows or gibbet. This suggested to
the American, the idea of being
witty at the expense of his Irish
companion. “You see that, I calcu
late t” said 1 he, pointing to the ob
ject. first mentioned. “And now,
where would you be, if the gallows
had its due ?”
“Eliding alone,” coolly replied
Paddy.
A gallant old gentleman of the
name of Page, finding a young lady’s
glove at a watering place, presented
it to her with the following words ;
‘•lf from your glove you take the letter G.
Your glove is lovo, which I devote to thee.”
To which the lady returned the
following neat answer:
•‘lf from your Page you take the letter P,
Your Page is age, au<] that won’t do for me.”
A lady wished a seat. A partly,
handsome gentleman brought one
and seated the lady.
“Oh, yau-'re a jewel!” said die.
“Oh no,” replied he, “I’m a jew
eller j I have just set the jewel.”
A medical student says he has
never been able to discover the bone
of contention, and desires to know
whether it is not situated very near
the jaw-bone, \
... A Canada editor says he has «a
keen rapier to prick dll fools and
knaves.” His. friends jf they Jure
prudent, will fake it from him. He
might commit suicide,
Have yoga isister l Then loVe
and cherish her. If you have norffa
sister of your own, feed love some
body else’s sister. * . >
. \ wag ; len± a.cjgrgman a horse
which ran away and threw him, arid
then claimetj credit fo^-‘‘hid, in
spreading the'gospel/ 1