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THE JEFFEKSON NEWS & FARM Fit.
Vol.
THE
NEWS & FARMER
BY
S. W. ROBERTS & BROTHER.
Published every Thursday Morning
AT
LOUISVILLE, GEOBGIA.
PRICE OF SUBSCRIPTION.
IN advance.
One copy, one year. $2.00
*• Six months ] .00
11 Three months...... 50
When paid in six or twelve months
after date-of subscription 2.50
For a club of Five, or more, we will allow a
iluduction of 25 per cent, off, cash rates, pro
vided, that the cash accompany the order.
ADVERTISING RATES.
Transient Advertising.- One dollar per square,
(-)ue inch) for first insertion, and 75 cents for
each subsequent insertion.
A liberal deduction made on contract adver
tising,
Local Notices will be charged 15 cents per
line each insertion.
All personal Communications of an offensive
character will be charged at the rates of one
dollar per line.
ty All bills for advertising in this paper are,
due after first insertion of the advertisment,
and will be presented—except by special ar
rangement—at the pleasure of Ahe proprietors.
LEGAL ADVERTISING.
Ordinary’s, —Citations fbr letters of admin
istration, guardianship, &c-.,. u , $5 00
Homestead notice 3.00
Application for dism’n from adm’n 6.00
A pplication for dism’u of guard’u 5.00
Application tor leave to seltLand 5.00
Notice to Debtors and Creditors 4.00
Sales oi Land, per square of ten lines 5.00
Sales of personal per sq.. ten days 2.00
Sheriff’s —Each levy of ten lines, ....—. 3.00
Mortgage sales of ten lines or less 5.00
Tax Collector’s sales, per sqr., (2 months,.. 5.00
Clerk's —Foreclosure of mortgage and
other monthly’s, per square...... 4.00
Estray notices thirty days.... 3.00
" Sales of Laud, by Administrators, Executors
* or Guardians, are required, by law to be held
on the first Tuesday in the month, between the
hours of ten in the forenoon and three in the
afternoon, at the Court-house in the county in
whioh the property is situated.
Notice of these sales must be published 40
days previous to the day of sale.
Notice for the sale of personal property must
be published 10 days previous to sale day.
Notice to debtors and creditors, 40 days.
Notice that application will he made to the
Court of Ordinary for leave to sell land, 4
weeks.
Citations for letters of Administration,- Guar
dianship, &e , must be published 30 days—fur
dismission from Administration, three months—
for dismission from Guardianship, 40 days.
f Rules for foreclosures of Mortgages must be
published monthly far four months —for estab
lishing lost papers, for the full space of three
months— for compelling titles from Executors or
Administrators, where bond has been given by
the deceased, the full space oi three months.
Application for Homestead to be published
wftllln the space of ten consecutive days.
PROFESSIONAL-CARDS.
J. G. Cain. J. H. Polhill.
CAIN & POLHILL,
ATTORNEYS AT LAW
LOUISVILL, GA.
jMays, 1871. 1 ly.
R. W. Carswell. W. F. Denny.
Carswell & Denny,
.lrrwK.rj; »•> .it l.i
LOUISVILLE GEORGIA,
WILL, practice in all the Counties in the
Middle Circuit. Also Burke in Augus
ta Circuit. All business entrusted to their
care will meet with prompt attention.
Nov. 3.27 ly
w. H. WATKINS,
ATTORNEY AT LAW.
HoutsbfUe, <sa.
Will,practice in the middle Circuit. Special
attention given to the Collection of CLAIMS.
IAS. B. T. ALLEN, WM. A. TOMPKINS
m&m & mmmm 9
ATTORNEYS AT LAW
WRIGHTSVILLE, GA.
AH business entrusted to their care wil
meet with prompt attention.
Particular attention givan to the collection
of claims,
.July 3, 1871. 13 ts
MEDICAL.
DR. J. R. SMITH,late of Sandersville Ga.,
offers’ his Professional services to the citi
zens of Louisville, and Jefferson county. An
experience of nearly forty years in the profes
sion, should entitle him to Public Confidence.
Special attention paid to Obstetrics and diseases
f women and children. Office at residence,
aetionisville,
Louisville June 20, 1871. 8 ts.
A. F, DURHAM, M. D.
n/i's/d.i.v j.rn svjttaMOjr,
SPARTA, GEORGIA.
O UCCEB3FULLY taeats diseases of Lungs
O and Throat, diseases of the Eye, Nose and
»A!*r, and all forms of Dropsy; diseases of the
flHeart, Kidneys,Bladder and Stri-lnre, secret
* diseases, long standing ulcers ; removes Hem
orrhoidal Tumors withot pain; makes a spe
ciality of diseases peculiar to females- Medi
cines sent to any point on Railroad by Express.
All correspondence confidential.
June 13, 1872. ly
’ J. W. COOLEY,
WILL be in Lonisvillc the first week of each
month. ‘‘All work warranted
Oct 6£h 1871. 23 ts
dentistry"
DR. CHAS. R. STEED, is pleased to an
nonnee to the citizens of tins section, tha'
he is prepared to do work on timei with city rc*
eeptance. AH work warranted.
Louisville, March 11, 1872. (f
Louisville, Jefferson County, Ga., Thursday, August 29, 1872.
MISCELLANEOUS ADVERTISEMENTS.
NEW^UNG
AND*
Mass sum,
I am daily receiving choice and desira
ble
The latest novelties in DRESS GOODS.
LADIES MADE SUITS.
I have now on hand a fine assortment of
Cassimere's Cottonaclcs aad Linen's
for Gentleman's wear, which Will be offered at
the lowest prices.
tIKORtSK 11’BBBIt,
Bee Hive Store.
No. 176 Broad Street,
Apr. 18 ts. Opposite, AUGUSTA HOTEL.
T. E. HARLOW
WATCH maker
—AND—
REPAIRER,
LOUISVILLE, GA.
SPECIAL ATTENTION GIVEN to reno
vating and repairing WATCHES. CLOCKS,
JEWELRY, SEWING MACHINES Ac., &c,
Also Agent for the Home Shuttle Sewing
Machine.
May 5, 1871. 1 ly.
•gl VERY PERSON admits that a
COOKING STOVE
is indespensable in a well regulated and eco
nomical family. Therefore do not delay in
getting one; but go direotly to •
,ii)o i? ® a a g a 2 ® sr a
and buy either the
»PHILANTHROPIST,”
‘‘CHIEF COOK,”
O r
‘‘COTTON PLANT.”
8)0 8® 8888©^^®^
Stove snd Tin Ware Dealer, near James T.
Bothwell, Augnsta, Ga , Oct. 6, 23 ly. j'
J. M. Neblet, Wm. M. Goodrich.
COTTON GINS.
WE the undersigned, respectfully inform
the planting community that we con!
tinue to manufacture COTTON GINS. We
were awarded the Premium, open to the world,
for the Gin at the Cotton States Mechanics’
and Agricultural Fair, held at Augusta last
season. Also, received the First Premium at
, the State Fair of South Larolinar. We feel
warranted in saying that a trial of our Gins is
all that is necessary to guarantee satisfaction.
Orders solicited early in the season to prevent
delay.
Old Gins repaired on reasonable terms.
NEBLETT A GOODRICH.
Aapril 23 6m.
GROVER AND BAKER SEWING
MACHINE.
For Simplicity, Ease of Operation, and Du
rability, the GROVER A BAKER SEWING
MACHINE Is unarivalted. Responsible Agents
Wanted in eve. y town in the State.
Address,
GROVER A BAKERS.M. CO..
21J Bull St., Savannah, Ga.
April 23 3m
SPOTSWOOD HOTEL
Jttaeon, da.,
Nearly opposite Passenger Depot,
and only one minutes walk. Board,
$3.00 per day.
THOMAS 11. HARRIS,
Proprietor.
Apl. IStli, 1872. ts.
Wm. D. Davidson, Joseph Brummel.
Davidson & Brummel,
282 Broad St., Angusta, Ga.
RECTIFIERS, IMPORTERS and WHOLE
SALE DEALERS IN
LIQUORS,
t ;
BRANDIES, WINES, GIN,
PORTER, ALE, ETC.
OBACCO and SEGAR3 of every VARIETY
April 11. 1872. 49 6m.
SOUTHERN MUSICAL JOURNAL.
Ludden & Bates, Publishers,
Sabamtaf), da.
Published monthly at the low price of SI.OO a
year. A first clews magazine of its kind, beau
tifully gotten np, and mast ably edited. Thor
oughiy Southern in its tone it should be found
in every musical family thronghout the South.
It contains each month sixteen pages, (sheet
mnsic size,) of Musical sketches, Hints, Corres
pondence, Melange, Instructive Editorials
Southern Musical Notes, aud Instrumental Mu
sic; etc. ’ Teu Dollars Worth of choice mnsic
giveh during the year. By a special arrange
ment we can offer this magazine as a premium
for TWO new subscribers, to the News $ Farmer,
will furnish the Journal and News y farmer
gether for $2.50. Address all orders to
S. W. ROBERTS A BRO,
Louisville, Ga.
JJoctrg.
Go Feel What I Have Felt.
A young lady in New York was
in the habit of writing on the sub
ject of temperance. Her writings
were full of pathos, and evinced
such deep emotion of soul that a
friend accused her of being a mani
ac on the subject of intemperance,
whereupon she wrote the following
touching lines:
Go feel what I have felt,
Go bear what I have borne—
Sink 'neath the blow a fattier dealt,
And the cold world's proud scorn 7
Then Suffer on from year to year—
Thy sole relief tho scorching tear.
Go kneel as I have knelt,
Implore, beseech, and pray—
Stiive the besoited heart to melt,
ThedSWnward course to stay—
Be dashed with bitter cui sc aside,
.Your prayers burlesqued, your tears defiled.
Go weep as I have wept
O’er a loved father’s fall,
See every promised blessing swept—
Youth’s sweetness turned to gall;
Life's fading flowers strewed all the way,
That brought me np to woman's day.
Go see what I have seen,
Behold the strong man bowed—
With gnashing teeth—lips b ithej in blood—
Aud cold aad .ivid brow ;
Go catch his withering glanco and seo
There mirrored his soul’s misery.
Go to thy mother’s side,
And her crushed bosom cheer,
Thine own deep anguish hide,
Wipe from her check the bitter tear;
Mark her worn frame and withered brow ;
The gray that streaks her dark hair now ;
With fading frame and trembling limb,
And trace the ruin back to him
Whose blited|faith in early youth
Promised eternal love and truth ;
But who, foresworn, hath yielded up
That promise to the cup,
And led her down through lovo and light.
And all that made her promise bright—
And chained her there, ’mid waut and strife.
That lowly tiling—a drunkard's wife—
And stamped on childhood’s brow, so mild,
That withering blight—the drunkard’s child.
Go hear, and fee], and see, and know,
All that my soul has felt and known—
Then look upon the wine cup’s glow ;
See if its beauty can atone—
Drink if its flavor you can try,
When all proclaim 'tis drink and die 7
Tell me I hate the bawl 7
Hate is a feeble word 1
I loathe—abhor—my very soul
With strong disgust is stirred,
When I see, or hear, or tell
Os that dark beverage of Hell.
The Maid of Udine.
BY GEORGE KLINGLE.
Gay is the laugh that rings between
Each clash of bells on her tambourine,
While as lithe as a reed by the breezes pressed,
With her corsage gay on her swelling breast,
She sways and reels in the giddy dance
With a thoughtless >oy ill her laughing glance,
Oil, her check is browned by a sunny clime,
But her lips are red as tile ruby wine,
With their glancing pearls, and her lashe3 tell
Os a hidden light with its mystic spell;
And her fingers are frail as the fairest queen
As she shakes the bells of her tambourine.
Each quuint old house with tile and tower,
And the trees that weave to a graceful bower,
With their arms that hold in the festive time
The purpled grape, the wreathing vine;
And the streets; and donkeys loitering by
With their dark-eyed riders flaunting high
Garlands; and maidens vailed in while—
Kirtels scarier, laces bright—
Eeach breathes but of mirth, aud a festive
time,
And of beauty that haunts but the Southern
clime.
Yet of all the maidens fair and free,
In shy reverse, in laughing glee,
In kirtels scarlet vails of white,
Eyes that tell of Southerii'light—
Who is so lovely in all Udine,
As the dancing maid with her tambourine, j
And her suu-brewned cheek ot Italia's clime
And her lips as red as the ruby wine?
Sfttscellaneous.
Governor Vance’s Last. —When
Governor Vance spoke at Newburn,
the Radicals, true to their low in
stincts concocted a plan by which
the speaker was to be mortified and
disturbed, but somehow as will be
seen, it rather miscarried. The
boomerang hit the ones that threw
it. While Vance was speaking, a
certain animal, with long ears, was
led as near the stand as the crowd
would allow; aud presently he be
gan to send forth some alarming
sounds, which, once heard, are never
forgotten. Vance paused for a mo
ment, and then, waving his hand to
wards the animal, said“ Now you
just hush, you old Radical —l never
promised to divide time with you.”
The animal, and its keeper, vamosed
the ranche, and the crowd yelled and
haUooed. — Raleigh Sentinel.
A man with a very large bald
head was complimented on ibe fact
that his caput was analogous to
Greenland.—“ Why so?” he asked.
“Because it is a great white bear
place,” was the reply.
For the Neics 4* Fanner .
THE SCHOOL LAW.
mi
Messrs. Editors :—lf that as
sumption, now made by every civil
government on earth among civilized
people be indeed true—viz : that the
cheapest, shortest and best way that
they can secure law, order, peace,
justice and all the ends of govern
ment to all, is by taking a part of
flic money which the people pay for
he support of government and edu
cating the people universally with it,
discussion is at an end, and schools
should be at once established. And
if that assumption be untrue, no one
has yet discovered its fallacy, either
in theory or in practice. Men are
had enough naturally. And after
you have educated and christianized
them as well ;us you can do it in this
world, still there is much about even
the best of them which needs refor
mation. Still is it true that niue
tenths of all the crime, lawlessness,
disorder and corruption of civil so
ciety is either the direct or indirect
result of want, of information. Not
simply ignorance of the civil law vi
olated, nor of the immediate penal
ty attaching to its violation. But a
lack of thought and of capacity to
think ignorance of self and what is
due to self ignorance of all the far
reaching consequence 4 of (‘very law
ess act, ignorance of the forever un
varying truism, “honesty is the best
policy,” ignorance of the sanction
which sixty centuries has, in mourn
ful experience, given to the Divine
caveat. “Be sure your sin will find
you out ” Ignorance is not so much
directly as indirectly the parent of
crime. It is said, if you educate
people you thereby make them more
vicious and more accomplished in
vice. That is simply untrue, aud
deserves no other answer. But for
arguments sake let it be true, first,
because if is better to have a few
i great scoundrels than a. vast swarm
of “petit parvcnucs ” lurking in eve
ry hole and corner. Secondly, be
cause as soon as a man becomes a
great scoundrel (like a governor and
a Rail Road Superinteudunt once ex
tent, now absolete,) like Pa Idy’s
deer he will soon kill himselt and
you are shut of him. And if nine
tenths of the lawlessness abroad is
the result of want of proper educa
tion, what is its amazing cost? A
very largd proportion of the cost of
the Legislature, a still larger part of
the judicial and a still larger part of
the expense of the executive depart
ment of government, whether in
.State or County, result from waut
of proper education. It' ail the
money thus expended to punish
crime were appropriated to the prop
per diserninatiou oi education, it
would locate a good school in easy
reach of every child iu # the State,
exalt the people, produce law and
order—“peace and good will to
men—” abolish jails, Penitentiaries,
courts, sheriffs, juries and judges,
locks, bolts and bars, and he “as the
days ot heaven upon earth”. Verily
it is far cheaper to prevent crime by
education than by law. And if gov
ernment can be made both better
and cheaper, than it is, by diverting
some of the tax paid fbr its support
into the channel of popular educa
tion, half-—nearly all ot' the objec
tions to it are answered. And all
the wise Statesmen of tho day be
lieve that by a temporary increase of
the taxes to inaugurate and run the
schools for a short time, in a very
few years the necessary taxes to sup
port both schools and government
would be reduced very far below
what they now are, or would be
without the schools, leaving us a
clear valuable pecuniary per cent,
together with all the social, intel
lectual and moral advantages and
happiness of an educated people.—
It woidd even soothe the dying bed
of the parent, and extract many a
sharp thorn from its pillow, to know
that though he was leaving his chil
dren poor, still he was leaving them
in good civil and social and moral
surroundings, with an open field
before them and with educated
minds, armed and equiped, not to
become hewers of wood and draw
ers of water for a more intelligent
class about to come, in and prey up
on their fair inheritance, but to be
come heroes and heroines in the high
honorable and noble battle of life.
What if one man would have to
pay more tax than another ? He has
that to do now without schools.—
And each ought to yay in exact pro
portion to the amount he has pro
tected by*government. 1 And as it is
not so much the poll as the proper
ty that is endangered by lawlessness
and needs legal protection. Os
course the property ought to pay
most for the education which is to
render it comparatively secure.
What if one race has to pay for
the education of another race ? If
lie shall thereby, as is firmly believed
by all the wisest Statesmen of the
day, regularly diminish the amount
which lie would otherwise have to
pay in order to maintain law and de
fend his property, it is surely a good
investment. To say nothing of the
untold value which would be added
to the services of his opperatives by
their increased intelligence, honesty,
economy and industry. Besides lie
would be raising up a degraded race
and not only making them less dan
gerous in the exercise of those equal,
civil rights which fate has decreed
they shall possess among us, but
would prepare them by degrees to
co-operate intelligently with him
in maintuning those rights. If they
are now proverbially guilty of al
most every form of vice and lawless
ness, it may be in part, but not en
tirely the result of difference of race.
It is in very great part the result of
ignorance and consequent moral ob
tuseness and degradation. Hence
they are not inimical to the safety of
property in communities where they
exist in numbers, and very expensive
as subjects of law, but never can or
will meliorate or exalt their condi
tion or educate themselves unaided
by the white man, God has decreed
otherwise in their nature and origin.
They must continue botli dangerous
and expensive until we shall educate
them. Beside all this. They are
now, and most probably will contin
ue for a long time, mingled every
where with our people. And al
though there may be no great danger
of acknowledged social equality or
amalgamation to any great extent,
(and the schools now proposed are
intended to train both races to look
on it as unnatural and impossible)
yet the best way to prevent is to ed
ucate and thus raise up the lower
class of the whites, where the evil,
if ever, must begin. But to finish
the argument, there is a law as fixed
and uniform in human society as
that which governs the moon or the
seasons; if that race remains min
gled with us as at present, then,
either we must raise them up to a
higher degree of civilization, and so
change them that their very sight
as well as all their manifestations
will not be, as at present—a loath
some contamination, or they will
drag society down by imperceptable
degrees, not oidy to tolerate, but
even to imitate them in much tliat is
repuguant to civilization.
“Vice is a monster of such hateful mien
“That, to be hated, needs but to be seen
“Hut seen too olt, familiar with her face
“We first emlure, then pity—then embrace.
The law of association is a pow
erful law and exerts its influence
over all who come within its reach.
We may say with scorn, as one said
once before, (I saw it in some old
hook.) “Is the servants a dog that
he should do this great thing <fcc ?”
We have had yet but eight years
—even less than eight years of ex
perience. Yet Gelnizi begins to
show himself not only North but
even in many places in the South.—
And the whites of to-day have no
way to influence coming generations
but by the education and educated
sentiment which they shall send
down to them.
Many men—property holders—
have educated their children or have
none to educate. And it would be
hard in either case for them to be
taxed to educate others. But if they
have educated their children, they
are now working for grand children,
and can send to them no richer lega
cy than a good education or facili
ties for obtaining it. Or if they
have neither children nor grand-chil
dren nor relatives to educate, their
property must soon descend to
strangers. Aud no where can it go
more grateful to the heart of the pa
triot, philanthropist and Christian
than to the education, exaltation and
happiness of humanity. It will
prove the Poet wrong who said—
“the good that men do is generally
interred with them.” Respectfully
&c.
P.
A gentleman traveling in Tennes
see just after the close of the war,
overheard the following conversation
between two women of that coun
try, who had been in town and were
returning home on the cars: No. 1
—“What has you in that paper?”
No. 2—“ Soda.” No. I—“ Soda !
what’s soda ?” No. 2—“ Why, don’t
you know what soda is ? that ere
stuff - what you puts in biskits that
makes ’em git up and hump them
selves.”
Sighing lover (before the kitchen.)
“Is it lonely ye are, there, without
me ?” A voice within replies : “Not
at all, Henry ; Willie has been here
for an hour!”
Subscribe for your county paper,
TO YOUNG MEN,
It is easier lo be a good business
man than a poor one. Half the
energy displayed in keeping ahead,
that is required to catch up when
behind, will save credit, give more
to businessand add to the profit and
reputation of your ova n xx ord. Hon
or vour engagements, if you prom
ise to m- el a man, or to do any cer
tain thing, be ready at the appoint
ed tim\ If you have work to do,
lo it at once, cheerfully, and there
fore more correcily and speedily.
If you go out on business, attend
promptly to the matter on hand,
and then as promptly go about your
own business. Do not stop to tell
stories in businesss hours. If you
have a place of business, be found
there when wanted. No man can
get rich by sitting around saloons
and stores. Never “fool” on busi
ness matters. If you have lo labor
for a living, remember that one
fiour in the morning is better than
two at night. If you employ oth
ers, be on hand and see that ihey
attend 10 their|duiieß, aid direct with
regularity, promptness and liberali
ty. Do not meddle with any busi
ness you know nothing of. Never
buy an article simply because th >
man who sells, will take it out in
trade. Trade is money. A good
business habit and reputation is al
ways money. Make your place of
business pleasant and attractive,
and then stay there lo wait on cus
tomers.
Never use quick words, or allow
yourself to make hasty or ungentle
manly remarks to those in your em
ploy ; for to do so, lessens their
respect for you and your influence
over them. Help yourself, and oth
ers will help you. Be faithful over
the interests confided to your keep
ing, and all in good time, your re
sponsibities will be increased. Do
not be in great haste to get rich.
Do not build until you have arrang
ed and laid a foundation. Do not,
as you hope or work for success,
spend time in idleness. If your time
is your own, business will suffer if
you do. It is given to another for
pay, it belongs to him, and you
have no more right to steal that than
to steal money, Be obliging. Strive
to avoid harsh words and personali
ties. Do not kick every stone in
the path; more miles can be made
in a day by going steadily on, than
by stopping to kick. Pay as you
go. A man of honor respects his
word as he docs his bond. Ask but
never beg. Help others when you
can, hut never give when you can
not afford to, simply because it is
fashionable. Learn to say no. No
necessity for snapping it out dog
fashioned, but say it firmly and res
pectfully. Have but few confidents,
and the fewer the better. Use your
brains than those of others. Learn
to think and act for yourself. Be
honest. 'Be vigilent. Keep ahead
rather than behind the times.
Young men, cut this out, and if
there is folly in the argument let us
know.
Universalist,
A NEW SORT OF APOLOGY.
Oue of the prominent legal gen
tlemen of this city, whose scientific
and literary attainments are second
to none in the South, and whose
obliging disposition is a theme of
general remark, had a call the oth
er day f.om a plantation darkey he
formerly owned, who told him he
had “just heurn from de ole women
dat was a livin’ oaten Virginia dal
hadn’t been heerd from sence de
’mancipation. 1 has got a fustrate
chance, Mars John, to send her a
letter,” he argued, “an 1 warns you
l 0 write it, tor me.”
“Certainly, with great 'pleasure,”
said our legal friend, selecting a
sheet of unsullied paper for the pur
pose. “what shall I say, Sam f”
••Well, mars John, you kin tell
de o le lady lis gettin on fust rate,
an n ever was better, bless de lamb,
an x wants you to tell her dey all
sends dar bes love ; dere is Aunt
Phillis, au Aunt Chloe, an Aunt
Sally, ar * Aunt Dinah, an aunt
Louisa, an aun fc Sue, an uncle Bob,
an uncle Joe, an undo Pete, an
uncle S a *“i aa uncle Phil;” and so
the old darkey went on with at least
an hundred colored friends that de
sired to be affectionately remem
bered, for to leave one ol them out
would have been little else than an
unpardonable sin.
Our legal friend at length got
somewhat tired of the job—and who
who could blame him ?—and evntu
ally broke out with:
“That’s all right; I reckon I have
got them all down, and now I will
sign the letter for you, simply say
ing that, “Wishing you every health
and happiness, I subscribe myself
now and ever your affectionate hus
band, Sam!”'
UTo. 17.
j “Dal’s bully,” exclaimed the de
lated African. “Now, Mars John,
| you jes read dat ar letter ail over
j agin, so 1 kin gel de sense ob it; you
j knows what I moan!”
! * le rei l u est was granted, wiih
, I he remaik:
1 “Well, Sam, thai’n all right now,
! is it not?" °
j ‘Well, mars John,” observed the
sable gentleman, “de letter is a fas
I rale letter. 1 has no objection to de
I, er la r as it goes, but I clar
tore god you done forgot oue thing,
as sure as you’s born.”
“Well, Sam,” replied the aston
ished jurist, “what have I forgot
ten?’' °
“Hi, yah ! m rs John,” exclaim
ed his sable guest, “don’t you see
what is the mailer, eh? jes you put
a line or two right after what you
done wrote, and ax deni won't dey
please, to sense de bad u’ritin an spel~
tin /”
Our Legal friend for the time be
ing seemed almost frantic with
rage, but in a moment or two he
comprehended the situation, and
laughed till he could have been
heard all over the square in which
he resides.
A Western report says : “Aurora
appeared with eyes wide open and
unclouded brow, wearing a happy
smile on her cheek.” " Yes, fine
morning.
A man carrying a cradle was
stopped by an old woman and thus
accosted: “So, sir, you have some
ofthe fruits of matron my ? “Soft
ly, old lady,” said he; “you mis
take ; ibis is merely the fruit-bas
ket.”
In an exchange the marriage of
Mr. Cooper to Miss. Staves is an
nounced Fhe result will proba
bly be barrels. [Not so ; the result
will be a lot of little shavers, and if
any ot them be daughters, it will
eventuate in hoops.]
“I must get married,” said a
bachelor to a married friend, “fori
never can find a button on a clean
shirt.” “Take care,” said the ben
edict with a sigh, “or you may
chance upon a with who will not
find you a clean shirt to button,”
There is a woman in Newport so
jealous of her husband she won’t al
low him to carry a pocket handker
chief, for fear he will carry on a
handkerchief flirtation with some of
the girls. He don’t mind the hand
kerchief much, but it is hard on his
coat-sleeve.
An exchange describes the man
ner of love-making practiced among
some of our readers, in the fallow
ing paragraph: “The young peo
ple who were seen feeding each oth
er dove fashion, over a gatepost,
the other evening, had better he a
little more cautious in the future."
“Don’t you think my eyes look
quite killing this morning?” said a
danty to a smart girl, and he twist*
i d his lead n visionaries in a most
cruel and fascinating manner.
“They remind me,’’said the dam
sel, “of a codfish dying of the
toothache.”
The New York Mail says; “It is
and exploded theory that woman
dresses to please man. They dress to
please or spile each other. Any giil
of sense and experience knows that
it is just as easy to break a man’s
heart in a two muslin, neatly made
up, as it is in a five dundred dollar
silk costume made up by a man
dress maker.”
A young prince, whose m’md had
learned in some degree to value re
ligious truth, asked his tutor to give
him suitable instructions, that he
might be prepared lor death. “Plen
ty ol time for that when vou are
older,” was the reply. ‘fiYo,” said
the prince; “I have been to the
churchyard and measured the
graves, and there are many shorter
than 1 am.”
A gentleman in Jefferson City
who was troubled with bed-bugs,
soaked the bed with kerosene and
turned in, leaving the light burning.
Just as he was dreaming that a reg
iment of hed-bugs were drawing up
a set of resolutions, condemning
him for using kerosene, he was
awakened by a fireman poihting the
nozzel of a hose through the win
dow. The house was insured but
the man was not.
Not a great while since, a peda
gogue in some of the Eastern States
was examining a class of pupil*
touching their ideas regarding the' 1
sea. Os one bright little fellow be
asked the question how he yvouhf
like a seafaring life. “First rate ”
was the reply, “except the fishins
business.” °
“And why not that V*' I
“Because I don’t like Khcdutg”