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THE JEFFERSON ggfe NEWS & FARMER.
V,oi.
THE
NEWS & FARMER
by
S. W, ROBERTS $ BROTHER.
, Published every Thursday Morning
( ; ' f "" A-r •
LQUJ S VILLI', GEORGIA.
PRICE OF SUB SCRIPTION.
IN ADVANCE,
One eopy.#iJßT«fc«—--,..52.00
“ . V . Sin nuuubs I-'* o
• * *• TUre« monlhs BO
WhofijUO in six nr twelve monitis
afterdate of subscription....,2.so
For a club ot five, or in»re, w« will allow a
_d 'Wotiun of 25 per cent off. cash rates, pro
truded, that Jltf casji accompany the order.
7 AiJUKEWSWG EfiJr.ES.
Transient AUs'erimnff.-Or.ddoVtiT per square,
* ( mie inch ) f"f fleet insertion, and 75 emits for
each sdbs< quent. insertion. .
A liberal deduction made on contract adccr-
MhKM
focal Notices will be charged 15 cents per
insertion. -
if ft ncrsonrtl Cdmmunications of an ej/enstvt
rhMhttr will bO charged at the rates of on is
Dor iAit per line.
[y fii UiUs for advertising in *his paper are.
rfueaftor tirst injertipn of the adtertismenr,
aivfwut^“presfrited—except by special ar
rangement—at the pleasure of the proprietor s.
, LEGAL ADVERTISING.
Ordinary's, —Citations for letters of admin
istration, guardianship, &c 00
Homestead notice 3 110
Application fur clism'n from anm’n O OO
Application for dism’n of guard’i 5.00
Application lor leave to sell Land 5-00
Notiee to Df>b(ers and Creditors 4-o<|
Balmiot'Laud,j«r square often lines. 0.0
SalSaf.parsaaalpsr Sq-, teu&jijs--., - 0
Sheri#'s -iEaeh-levy of ten lyncs, A "0
Mortgage sales of ten lines or less 5.00
Ta# Collector's sales, per sq-., (3 mounts .. 0.00
Clcrfs— Furaclosyre" of mortgage and
other monthly's, per square...... 4. 0
Estray notices fiiTrty daytr. ----- ”
Sales of Land, by •Adioioistraterv Executors
or Guardians, are required, by law to be held
on the first Tuesday in lire month, between the
hours of ten in,the forenoon and iloeo m the
afternoon, at tVio Court-house iu the county in
which the property is situated.
Notice of these sales must be published 4(1
and aWt|Wi*i»*W fcthe- day-of-sale,
Notice for the sale of personal property must
bo.MfeUsMxUU <ias-s previous 1" sale <1; J.
Notice to debtor, aau creditors, 40 days-
Notice that application will be made to the.
Court of Ordinary for leuyo to sell laud, 4
f?lktfetnsifiirdetlers of Administration, Luar
dianship, Arc , must be published Ad days—-f J
from Administration, three months
Rules for foreclosures of Mortgage? must be
pubUslied monttdofofyfour cstabr.
hailing lost pftp Gt&for (Tie fun spaCi of ifirte .
months —lor compelling titles from Executors or
whjWC bpud litvi been given by
the dtfW»e3s the full spare,ot tlii -e'-jn-mfhs. .
Appueatimi FdMTdhVestead' t& W published
within the space often consepntiv»* data.
I‘MFBmONAL U4IW&
J. G. Cain. J. H. fplhill.
CAIN & POLHILL,
ATTORNEYS A LAW
LOUISVILL, GA.
May 5, 1871. 1 Iy*
■ —-r-—» -
R. W. Carswell.,.... \V\Jj\ Denuj^
-
emrTO lUrtTVS .fOP I.»H*
LOUISVILLE, ..GEORGIA,
'YjtT'ILL practioffin all the Counties in i lie
Y \ Middie Circuit. Also Burke in Augus
ta Circuit. All business entrusted to their
•Are will meet with prompt attention. r-i» /■
Nov. 3 27 U ' ;
w. It. WATKINS,
ATfoiINEY A-fTTAYV.
f :: *j
Will practice in the piiddle Circuit. Special
attention 4riv.ll to the t’olk-Ctiou qf CLAIMS.
JxsdtevT. at.tlxN 1 , ' WM..A. toiu.pkins
j&gfik fe
xir Law /
WKIGHTSyiLLEe GA.
All business entrusted to their care wil
meet with prompt attention.
Particular gtUcutioß given to the collection
m. ' wit,
a. J Ed) ICA L.
OR. J. 71. SMITH,lute of Sandersville Ga.,
offers his Professional services to the citi
aeaa-of Louisville, and Jefferson county. An
eapefleiioc of nearly forty years in the protes
' sion.should entitle him to 'Phbiio Confidence.
Special attention paid to Obstetrics in'tPdisoases
of women aud children. Office at residence,
Louisville.
Louisville June 20, 1871. 8 ts.
A. F. DURHAM, M. D.
rruts/n.i.v j.vo sKnoBOJV,
'/SPARTA, GEORGIA.
SUCCES>FUIAjY taeats diAeases of Lungs
and Throat, diseases of tilt Eye, tfose And
Ear, and id forms of Dropsju„djsi ases of tlye
Heart, Kidneys, and sepret
diseases, long stahding uleer* ; removes tieii
urrhoidal Tumors withot pain; makes a spe
ciality of diseases peculiar to felhales, Medi
cines sent to any point on Railroad by Express.
Ail correspondeuco confidential.
June 13, 1872. Ir
J. W. COOLEY,
WILL "be ip Louisville the first Week of each
mouth. Alt work warranted
Oct 6th 1871, 23 ts
ly. SMSSMi, l g
JLA nounce tq the citizens of tins sdetion, that
Auis prepared-to do wort op Umewitb city ac
ceptance. All wprk warranted.
LouistUlw Mwchll, 1879. •• - ts
77TiS ju-ja ~T 8 ti/toaa s.i*
laonisville, Jefferson County, Ga., Tlmrsdaj, September 5, 1872.
MISCELLANEOUS ADVERTISEMENTS.
NEflfHiiiNG
AND
©waste mm,
I am daily receiving chuiee'and desira
ble
-
The latest novelties in DRESS' GOODS.
LADIES MADE SUITS.
I have new on hand a fine assortment of
Cassimcre’s Cottonadcs dad Linen’s
for Gentleman's wear, whioU Will be offered at
the iowe.t prices.
liHOßilli If
Bee Hive Store
No. 176 Broad Street,
Apr. 18 ts. Opposite, AUGUSTA HOTEL.
T. F. HARLOW
watch maker
—AND-
R E I K.E R, .
LOUISVILLE, GA-
Special attention given to reno
rating and repairing WATCHKS. CLOCKS,
JEWELRY, SEWING MACHINES&c., &c.
Also Ageafrfor the Homo Shuttle Sewing
Machine.
May 5, 1871. 1 ly.
PERSON admits that a
COOKING STOVE
is indispensable in a well regulated and eco
nomical family. Therefore do not delay iii
getting one; but go directly to
'So So 5? w a sn? ®
and buy either the
G Phil anTheDpist,”
,‘A .“UIIIEFCtJOK,^.
|'.J W* "o r
“COTTON PLANT.”
»„&«. B
St<*voßnd Tin Ware Dealer, near James T.
Both well,
J. M. &ebfet, Wm, M. Goodrich.
cotton gins.
, VX7E the undersigned, yasp. -i fully inform
t" the planting couiinuiri' - ihat we con
tinge to manufacture COT lON GINS. We
were awarded the Premium, open to the world,
for the Gin at the Cotton Kta es Mechanii-'
and Ag/icultural fair, held at uguSta last
.season. s Also, received the First Premium at
' the State of Sojith Larolinar. We feel
warramed iu saying nmtV trial of our Gilts is
all that is necessary to guarantee satisfaction.
Orders solicited early in the season to prevent
delay.
O'dGins repaired on reasonable terms.
NEBLETT & GOODRICH.
Aapril .23 6m.
GROVER ANp BAKER SEWING
MACIIINt. f
Kor.SfinpJioiiy, Ease of OpptaWon, auj Du
jahifiW."in GROVER & BAKER SEEING
“MACHINE IsTtnaFlx-alle’d. Responsible Agents
wanted fit eve ysoj*# in-tbe Stain- ; ...••>
Andres v ; .• *,
GIiOVER A, BAKER S-M. CO.,
r. tv 21J Bull St, Savannah, Ga.
ApriF23 3m
SPOTSWOOD HOTEL
iWacon, <£*.,
' Nearly opposite! Passenger Depot,
and only one minutes walk. Board,
53.00 per day.
THOMAS H. HARRIS,
Proprietor.
Apl. 18th, 1872. ts.
Wm. D. Davidson, Joseph BruMmel.
Davidson & . Brummel.
. i : C .;}» «•',/
: 282 Broad St., Augusta, Ga.
RECTIFIERS, IMPORTERS and WHOLE
SALE DEALERS IN.
S'SaSEiSI i ID3B2SSSPSI
LIQUORS,
BRANDIES, WINES, GIN,
PORTER;,’ALE, ETC.
TGB AC CO and BEGAR3 of every VAR IE T Y
April 11, 1872. 49 6m.
SOUTHERN MUSICAL JOURNAL'.
Ludden & Bates, Publishers,
SabannaYt <Ka. •
Published monthly at the low price of $ 1.00 a
year. Afirst class magazine of its kind, beau
tifully gotten up, and mqst ably.edited. Thor
‘ongbly Southern in Us tonelfshonld be found
in every musical family thronghout the South.
It ■ contains' oaeh month sixteen pages, (sheet
mnsic sise,) of Ma-ical sketches, Hints, Cor'res-1
pondence, Melange, Instructive Editorials!
Southern Musical Note*, and Instrumental Mu-i
sic, etc. Ten Dollars Worth of choice music
given during the year. By A special arrange
ment we can offer this magazine as a premium
for TWO n«ie subscribers, to the News y Farmer,
or will furnish the Journal and News $ firmer
together for #2.50. Address all orders to
* S. W. ROBERTS A BRO,
; • , V 1 ’ Louisville, Ga.
jDOfttl?.
THE HAUNTED STREAM.
I sat by a beautiful river,.
Whoiie waves dancing on tho sea,
Are kissing each other in gladness. *
And laughing like children in glee.
It flows amid flower-gemad meadows'.
And" eddies through blossoming dells.
And td every fresh spray leaf that greets it,
A tale of new melody tells.
When twilight, with covetous fingers.
Afay in the shadowy west,
Has gathered the roses of sunset,
And hidden them under her vest,
I love by its margin to wander,
For sweetest of music t nie.
Is the song lippHeg up from its bosom,
In numbers tiiumphaut and free
The charm of an olden tradition,
the beautiful place,
Investing its ’wildering sweetness,
With a sacred and mystical grace.
t
’Tis a tale of a sunny-eyed lva'den,
Whp dwell by the nijinnt ring stream ;
A face and a fo>m which were fairer
Than shapes in a midsummer’s dream.
There! come a dark shadow that b’lghtud
Her heart in its innermost eore,
And the gladness.re turned to her spirit,
And the smile to her sweet lips no more.
One nighs iri the beautiful season %
Which follows the.spnpner’s decline,
When beams from the lair faco of heaven
A smile that is almost divine.
VVhep the chaplet of. gold and of crimson,
The goddess of autumn time weave-',
And berries like clusters of rubies
Hide under the emerald leaves—■
She parted her curls fn*m her f. rohe;id,
And bound them with glittering gems,
And looped up her rich, flowing trusses, -
With lilies ami daflb3il sterol.
And decked with pure snowy white garments
lVfltt'nfca newly made bride.
Site loosened her boat its moorings,
And rowed o’er the glistening tide.
And When the glad morning was shaking,
The light from her tresses of gold,
And the folds of her Tnany-lun and mani.le
Again in the East were unrolled,
The w ood-brds to welcome her coming,
Were warbling their merriest strains,
The l oal lay alone on Hie w arer,
But the maiden returned noi agair. s 1
Andjtis said in the gathering twilight
Os Autumn’s soft, whispering eves,
When sweetly the rive is sinking;
Its song tu thalistening leavta^.
When the wind with a mother’- ovotion,
lias the.fai l 1 hid-30.ns
And the white moonlight lies like a spirit;
Asleep Cir the ..
With dripping of shadowy paddles,
Which noiselessly tremble and gleam—
A boat,,like a siiyefy
Comes floating adown the bn'glit stream.
And therq with her Jijy^twined tresses,
In snowy w hite* bridal array,
A beautiful m’aiden sits gnidi* g
The boat »ai is stardighled way,
Ah! oft have I mused on the story,
i Alone in this Shadowy place,
Till I almost coutd se« in the waurs,
The gleam of a beautiful face.
Till dimly my waicliing eyes VdctAred,
In a far away cuyve > f the stream,
Ths*- v spirit-white beat of the-maider,
Aud her garments* silvery gleam.
ON TgE DK J)F WIf.LIAM WIRT.
The following from Horace Gree-
presontpdas it speeimep
orM?'latent' for poetry;' -"ft- Wife
written by hilt} ,at twenty-three
•years of age:
“R./qge not {tie mnffl and drur-,
i Wake not tlie martial trumpet's monratul
snund s .
For him whose miprhty voice ill death is dumb;
Who, in the zenith o; his high renown,’
Jo the grave went down.
“Invoke no cannon’s breath
Te swell the requiem o'er his ashes poured—
Silently hear him to the house of,death;
The aehiiig hearts by whom he was adored,
Be won not with the sword.
No! let aifliction’s tear
Be the sole tribute to his ■memory paid;
Earth has no monument so justly dear
To souls like his in purity arrayed—
Never td fade. • .
“I loved thee, patriot Chief!
I battled proud beneath/thy: banner pure;
Mine is the breast of woe—the heart of grief,
Which stiffer on unmindful of' a care—
Frond to endure.
“But vain the voice of wail.
For thee, for this dim vail of sorrow fled
Ea- th has uo ip.ell whose .magic shall not foil
To light the gloom that shrouds thy narrow
bed.
“Then take thy long reposo
Benathtbe shelter of the de.fp cj'.fen sod;
Death both brighter halo o'er thee throws,
Thy fame, thy soul alike have spurued the
clod—
Rest thee in God ”
The man who ‘‘couldn't find his
match went to feed in the dark.
Some ladies Use paint as fiddlers
do rosin, to aid theip,\p drawing a
beau.
An Irishman, fresh from the sod,
and anxious to secure a. humming
bird, caught a latge- bea iastead ; it
stung him, when Pat cried out,
“Houly moses! how hot its little fut
is,”
SHtflceUaumuj.
' j For the ycurs Farmer,
THE SCHOOL LAVY.
v.
Messrs. Editors :—Several evils
attach to our present theory and
practice ot private schools, which
would be avoided it they were pub
lic. Tuition is by far too dear. I
have before me the statistics of the
private schools ot the comity for the
first half of toe year ls'7i. 1 col
lected them myself carefully from
the different teachers and know them
to ha correct. The average price of
tuition over the whole county fori
that period was a small fraction less !
than seventeen cents per day for each
child taught. Some' were "less, oth-,
ers Ware'more, i liis is bv far too !
high. And yet teachers 'are one of!
the classes of society whose arduous
and responsible labors are not ade
quately remunerated. The best
teachers are often driven from the
field from the tact that they cannot
ami should not labor tor the pay
they get. Ihe reason of this anom
alous condition of Lhimm-is, bills for
tuition Is looked upon us hills of hon
or. They might be, hut I believe
i a rely, it ever, are collected by law.
II the pat,rods pay, well: if not,
there it generally ends. Some of
the patrons pay very promptly,, ((th- j
ers are more slow, and .slime never |
pay. . A part of the children of ev-i
cry scho and are beneficiaries of what
we Calf'“t lib pnor sVhool hiViir-which
never has paid more than fifteen
jcentS’per day, s >me years only 7n or
*>o or even 20 per" cent., of that
amount; sometimes ’ nothing. 1 1
think it fair to say that tiny teacher
who has tried the private tuition
system, would very gladly take two.
thirds, or evert less, of the sum of
his .bills if it were paid promptly.—
It were, at least, a poor speculation
for,a money lender to buy the bills
of private schools generally. at,two,
thirds of their nominal value. Acte
on would soon he eaten by his own
dogs. And yet it is doubtless true
that patrons of private .schools pity
just as promptly in this latitude ns
in any other—better- if you please
It is an evil, no’t bf'the people or the'
place,.but Os tlie.system', ft is said
of mefehigds that thhy add the
amount of their bad debts to the
cost of t e new stock' before they
put their mark on the ditferent arti
cles. 'lteckon they do. “Whether
or not,” teachers do and should look
to the chances of collection when
they fix tln> price - ’ of tuition. Yet
they-often lost* at that. If they
knew they would get their money
promptly all at once, either in ad-,
vance or at the close of the-term, it
would b-e doubly valuable to them,
and they Would cheerfully labor for
two thirds Hte current price. And
prompt payers would not have to
hear the burden of those who are
slow, or never my. Public schools
would obviate this evil. Another
evil of our private /school system—
its burning shame and disgrace is,
the character of the teachers too of
ten employed. Thanks to the .civil
ization ot’ ! tlie age-find growingudui
rnon sense—rather she kind provi
dence ot God (for it surely is a
special providence much to , be/
praised), this evil is not So great -as
Once it was. Who is there, with;
even one gray hdir in iiis head who
does not recollect « hat the u old field
school teacher” was just a very tew
years ago. If any person is entitled
to double honor and a nations grat
itude, it is the.competentthoneig,. la
borious teacher. True,he gets .but
Iktlt* remuneration either jt) ; money
or good wishes. Yet lie doe# a no
ble work, which will live and tell tor
him long after, . the marble ..which
lies over hi? grave shall have moul
dered and mingled with. the com
mpu dust around. He writes char
acters, not in water or sand, hut ou
immortal mind. And they will be
legible in the , light of that lurid
blaze which shall- .envelop nature
when she dies. liis day tp bo. ade
quately appreciated honored and i»q
manerated will siireTy come. But
it will be grapted that our tieople
have not been generally and well;
educated. And' henefe they do not I
appreciate the value and importance
of education, and mote especially
the importance of correct elementary'
education. “ This is to all that fol- 1
lows, much or little,*as the founda
tion to the building, the seed to the
harvest, the nrjpru to the day. Here
is a neighborhood in whiph a good
school is needed land could be sus
tained. A competent teacher offers
to : take..charge of,it for a competent
salary.. A minority of the patrons
appreeigte the implant interests at
stake and are anxious tg employ and
,Blit here comes along
soiiie Straggling; drunken vagabond
—perhaps a scape-galloWß, too la
zy to work and not cute enough to
steal; he has tried it and liad to
serve his tyj'n in tlie chain gang or
pen herniary, and ought to he there
still, for his own and his country’s
good—he can possibly spell linker”
ou dfi.e book, aud with grave conse
quence asserts that * l tico hcrntifica
.iious nialce one 'fortification •” his head
is empty ( especially inside) and liis
heart rotten. But lie ■ olfors to
teach cheap. That is tHb spear ot
Itlmreaf whieh touch the hearts ot
the majority, lie is emjdoyed.—
And up gobs one of tlie schools of
the “ enlightened aye.”
I ifoiir child is sick we want for
! it a learned and competent physician
If its smallest peciini iry interest is
.at-stake, we seek tlie aid of a cbm
! [»etent lawyer tor it. If its feet are
bare, we feel tlie importance of a
liutn being master of iiis trade,'add
we seek a good s ioemaker; nay, we
do it lor bur iiorfib or mule, tint if
the child’s' y&uiig'immwtal mind is
to he edireed and' educated arid
trained for usefulness and happiriete,
it it is to he filled lor all the grand
responsibilities.of its position in so
ciety-*—so'tittedtha! rfll the (‘nils it,
aims at shall he its eountr.’s, its
God’s and truths’, how often is the
responsible task turned over to some
contemptible poltroon or big
toill'lleil numskull whom the gods
had formed for a milk maid, dray
man, or street scavenger! And thCre
is ho open way to get clear of such
miserable inexperts, but by reqnir
ing them to pass the ordeal of pro
Imtion. The school law makes pro
vision to shuffle them out and sub
stitute competent teachers
Another evil of the private sys
tem is, the necessary tack'of any
uniformity rn'te.xt books. There is
not so much importance in the par
ticular system of text-books as there
is in .ugifomijly, the .private,
system, sciireely.iiny two schools use
tjie same school-books. And' every
time a child changes from one school
to another 'it has to change its hook's.
The evil of this state of things' is
not ehicjly in the plircliasq ofstiper
numbrijryAiseless boots, tljo’hgli that
is had enough. But without ;i per
fect uniformity in books, the labors
of the teacher are multiplied to the
corresponding injury of the school.
Besides, it Is impossible for him to
classify his pupils. Arid they thus
lose all the untold advantages of
that pleasing, honorable, 'profitable
emulation of young mind which
gives so much zest to tlie exercises
ot. the class, both to pifpil andteach
yr, which inspires Self reliance and
individuality of thought, and with
out, which el nientdry schools are at
best, hu.t another form of prisfiii life.
If y‘ou Would dispense with the
''birch you must, in Some Way sub
stitute for it,, emulation. That you
cannot have without uniform les
sons and class hooks. But these
never can’be had so long as there
are so many different systems beim>
issued and offered, at introductory
prices, and there is no connection
among the schools, and no constitu
ted umpire to decide what books
shall be used.
This idea of uniformity has a still
more important aspect. Teachers
are laborers of the same craft, and
should be connected; As iron
shnrpeiietti iron, so doth the couiite
nance of a man, his friend. The
private system' of schools tends rath
er to array teachers against each
other, in Competition to gain pat
ronage. But the public school pla
ces them all on the same platform
and unites them in a county Teach
er’s Association, where any defects
in one are removed by contact with
the many, and where any light im
provement or discovery made by one
would become the property of tlie
marry. Aud the noble profession of
teacher would command that respect
from, arid exercise that influence
over the public mind due to its dig
nity and importance,
, Respectfully Ac.
“Ten gallons of kerosene, three
pounds of potash, one dunce of
strychnine, mixed with soft water.”
It was ’according to this cheerful,
not to say convivial formula, that a
quantity- 6f “whisky” seized last,
week in Newton, Mass:,' was corit
pounded, the receipe having also
been found in- the possession of the
unfortunate dealer. If you want
“gin/’ add quantum sufficit of oil of
juniper ! The joke is that men who
drink this diabolical fluid do not
Arop down stone dead at once.
; They are fond of titles in the
East. Among his other high-sound
j ing titles tlie King of Ava has that
of I‘Lord .of twenty-four Umbrel
jlaa.” This looks as though he had
prepared for a long rain.
A Mid-Air Compromise
Not many years ago, and not far
from the city of Elmoia, ai a locali
ty known a-t die -T’emale College,”
ihe circumstances we are about to
relate look place. Jt seems that
the principal of the college over
lieard a plan among a number ol
liis young lady students fir draw
ing a yotino gi-tleman up to one- o*
: the third-story rooms ‘‘in a basket
|at night,” as no gentleman suitote
were |> rmitied to visit their col
lege lady 1 loves, see them alone, un
der strict rules of the intstiiuilon
The principal acted accordingly,
and at the appointed ti ne was o /
itie designated spot, and when the
basket was lei down, took the lov
er’s place, gave the “signa : switch,”
and commenced going up toward
liea'et, drawn by a trinity ofangels.
W hen two thirds up. the angel ex-
pecia it, on looking from the win
dow dicovereil to her terror and
dismay that instead of her lover,
-he had another man in the basket,
•Mid, nearly frightened out of her
wits; mule the fact# known to' her
fair .helpers in mischief, with tlv
pertinent inquiry of “What shall we
do? What shall we do? Oh! “iris,
girls what shall we do ?” Where
upon (me of their nthnber, noted for
her coolness and pre-ence of mind
it) trying emergencies, sod:
‘‘Here! you hold on to this cord,
now, do jo 1 -1 as I t“ll you, auri I'll
■take care ot th“ mao, ttonnatier who
h” is, or'where he comes from.”
Then taking nut her pocket-knife
and opet,ing it, she leaned out of
die window, amt in a low voice
sii J. •• Who ate >ou there in that
ba-keif’
N > response.
‘•‘J say. who are you ttere in that
basket ? Do you hear 1 have a
koite in' my hand, and unless you
answer this in less than lea seconds,
I will ctu this rope !’’
“Why it’s your principal—don’t
von know me? Don’t, tor mercy
sake, cut the rope. Keep your
kriile further away iron iti”
' “Well, you are in a preti y fix,
prolessor, a prelty fix, indeed; and
hanging b tween heaven and earth,
between life ami death. What do
do you think ought,.to be done' with
you? A principal of female col
lege, v h i thus endeavors, at night,
to clandestinely teat It the room of a
lady Student, ought to he severely
punished, and a so exposed.”
“Oh ! I tieg ot you hot to harm
me nor expose me; but let me
down ogain carefully, and don’t let
-the rope slip.”
“Professor,” said the swred beau
ty, “on one condition orly will wt
comply with your request.”
“Name it! name it!”
“You must solemnly promise
that none id" us who have .been . en
gaged in this little romance shal> be
disciplined for it, and lltai you will
make no mention of it k> a livias;
soi.l while we ;are inmates of the
College, with tlie understanding that
we are to ooserve the solemn prom
ise. What sav. you-?”
“[ promise—solemnly promise.”
“Very;well. Hold up ypur right
hand! You do solemnly swear,
that you will faithfully keep amt
observe that promise, so heip you
God?” .
“Ido!”
“Enough, girls! lie has taken
the oath. Lower away!”
The “Professor” was soon care
fully lauded on terra firma, greatly
to his relief and greatly to the jnv
no doubt, of the ot her .party to the
compromises and he It veil up to his
oath. In alter years, however,
when time had absolved him from
it, and the lover, whose basket he
“monopolized” on that eventfiu
night, had, as the story goes, mar-,
tied the girl—who, on that occasion,
was sp “far above hun”—the pro
f ssor usetl to tell lue, ad venture to
his particular friends, and laugh
over it till the te&ts ran down his
cheeks, as the most ludicrous scrape
hy ever got into in all his college
life;..and as the only one he. Wag let
out of under on oath adrrrnisteied.
Schuylers County (N. Y. Democrat.)
It was Lord Dudley who made
the remark, when’ he heard of Sir
Walter . tjeott’s. pecuniary disasters:
“Scott miped ! the authpr of !\Vav
erly ruined! Let every man to.jvhom
he has given months of delight, give
him a and he~will rise tor
morrow richer than Rothschild’.”
“Words,' words, wbrds!” says
Hamlet, disparagingly. But God
preserve us from the destructive
jKtw’dr of words ! There are words
which can' separate lieatts sooner
than sharp swords—there are words
whose Stings can retnainin the heart
through a‘ Whole life. Therefore,
think always before you speak, and
apeak in love, or be silent,
11 ®
ISTo* IBs
WIT AND HUMOR.
Which is the oldest worn in’s
club?—The broom-stick. *
Womcrt are said to be second to
tlie press in the dissemination 'of
news.
In Boston, a poor man less
rban one year ago, bail only one suit
ot clothes, went into the nyvvapa?
per business and now has eight spits.
Seven of them are for libel. J
“i-ali.y, ’ said a leUuwto-.a. girl
wht) had red fiair, “lo ep away frono
me, or you’ll set me on fire.”” “No
danger <>f that.” replied the girl*
‘•you are too green to burn !”
A Western editor, in arinwum
mg tin- demise of of his paper says:
‘‘The brilliancy of < nr career has'
only been equaled by its brevity,
and tin lack of business manage
ment has only been orpialed hy the
latjk of business itself.”
In a storm at sea, iffy f l,ap’ a in
a-ked one o! his crew, if he thought
there was any dang r. «•() yes,”
replied the si, lor; “if it blows ns
hard as it does now, we shall all be
in i.eaveh bCf.ie twelve* o’clock at
night.” Trie ehap'ain 'terrified at
tb expression, cried out, '‘The Lord
forbid."
Ax Engliseman and a Welshman
disputing m whoso country the
"Bsi living; iho Welshman said,
“Iheieis -ur I j noble housekeeping
m Wales that I have known above
adnz n cook * employe,| at one
wed ling dinner.” “A%r spand
ed .lie ‘‘il m was be
cause every man toasted his own
cheese..
A little bov having been much
praised f*r bis (puckness of reply,
a g aitle nan present that
when children were keen in their
youth, they were generally stupid
and dull when they advanced in
years, and vice verm. “What a
fery sausblc hoy, sir, must yow have
been !” returned din child,
A Rapid and emphatic recital of
the following is said hy a provin
cial paper to be ait infallible euro
lor lisping: Hobbs meets Suobbs
"... N.bbs; Hobbs b,l,s to Suobbs
end No.ibs; Hobbs nobs with
Suobbs and robs Nnbl>,’fobs. That
is, says Nobbs, the worst for Hobbs’
jobs, and Suobbs’ sobs.
‘Mr Father’s Cummin-,” A
young urchin was employed to
- v cp the chimney of a house in
•1 acelesfield, and having' ascended
m he “summit of fiis profession;”
”>ok a survey. Ti,is completed,
he prepared to deeeud; but rnistak
mg ihe flue, be found bbn-elf, nn his
binding, in the office ofa limb of the :
1 tw, whose meditations wete put id
flight. I'he sensation of both par
ties it is impossible t„ de cribe—-die
bov, terrified i m he should be puu-r
ished, stood riveted to the spot, and
die lawyer struck dumb, started
from his seat the very minugs of hor
ror, but spoke not. Sooty, however,
-oon found tongue, and in accents
vVhich only increased the tenors of
the man of law, cried out, “My fith
er’s cummin’ directly,” This was
enough. The presence ot such an.
equivocal being, so iotrocucedp
nerved hts heart; with one bound
tile affrighted lawyer flew,- down
stairs, and sought refuge ■ it*' the
street flora the enemv. <a . J
Old Mr. A. was .a flue old gentle
man of the old school, a very fall
stately old man, with a great tjeal.,
■ f “presence” and some money,-
His sons and daughters were nice
people enough, but not very suc
cessful in accumulating this world’s
goods and some thought they were
a little reu iss in their effort toWatd
the same. And they used to rath
er encamp, so to; speak, in tflfie old.
house at home” along with their
families, in fact. Now Mr,A. stood
it fora very long time, with a pa
tience beyond that of either a fath
er or a father-in law. If was du
ring the night season that his end u>,
ranee gave out at last, but lie breath
ed no word of the tafct 'until break
fast time, when the goodly array ot
his decendattfs were seated in Ser?
Tied lilies up and down the long fa
ble, and the moment came - whesp
the moststately oldgentfeman would
have asked a “bigssilig A.
suddenly arose, wfldo' eveTy evd
was rivitited on his unaccusWs&fSs
tion. Rearing his towering
erect, he gave one look around,’ and
made proclamation in the following
sheriff-like ters, and with immense
emphasis : “O yes ! Oyes: dyes'
This Hotel will be closed precise
ly 4t twelve o’clock at hdoft 1 nfli
day. All parlies cpncer'tt'€d' t ,, %J1
lake notice thereof and go%irfl
therrfselveg Accordingly,” And it
was <O, .' • ■