Newspaper Page Text
F. R. FILDES, Editor.
VOL. TIL
THE OLD COUPEE.
They sat in the smi together
Till the day was aha *t done,
And then, at’tlie close, tin an -el
Stepped over tlip threshhold stone.
ITe folded their hands together,
lie touched their eyelids with balm,
And their last breath floated upwarc
Like the dose ot a solemn psalm.
Like a bridal pair they traversed
The unseen, mystical road.
That leads t» the beautiful city.
Whose Builder and Maker Is God.
Perhaps, in that miracle country,
They will give her lost youth back,
And the flowers of vanished spring time
Shall bloom in the spirit’s track.
One draught of the living waters
Shall restore his manhood s prime,
And eternal years shnll measure
The love that outlives time.
But the shapes they left behind them,
The wrinkles and silver hair
Made sacred to us by th*» kisses
The angel imprinted there.
We’ll hide away in the meadow,
W hen the sun is low in the west.
Where the moonbeams cannot find them,
Nor the wind disturb their rest.
But we'll let no tell tale tombstone,
With its age and date, arise
O’er the two who are old no longer -
lu their FatlieUs House in the skies.
JLESSOJN OF AN EVENING.
BY 6YI.VANTS COBB, JR.
Agreeable to an engagement made
dome weeks previous, I went to a neigh
boring town In deliver a lecture, and
stopped with Mr. B. ife was an old
man, well into the autumn of life, and
one of the most influential citizens of tin
place. After the lecture was over, I
■walked home with my host, and was in
troduced to his family. After Convers
ing upon matters of general interest, the
tnitjeet of temperance came up,-ai and Mr.
li. gave me an account of the state of
afi'a is in his town with rcgtid to that
cause.
‘lt is ttrange.’ lie si id, ‘how tenaei u
ly the habit clings to our people. Only
think of it, — a hahit which produces no j
good—not a particle, and which -prods- |
Ci sso much vice, ciime and mis-ry
Should it he discovered, to-u. enow
morning, that one of our citi/vns had'
the small pox, the whole place would be
in a state of alarm before noon, and the
most suiuTtiary measures woo'd be re
sorted to for the purpose of ci celling its
spread. And yet we have a tippling
shop, i iglit in our midst, in foil blast,
and people pass and repass as uncoil
tcrnedly as though there were no danger
at all. They know that our churchyard
is dotted with drunkard's gravis, and
that some of the fairest, of our youth j
are on the road to inevitable ruin. I(
is strange.’
'So it is,’l replied. ‘But,’ I added,
‘the cases, as you slate them, are hardly
‘ analogous. In the ease of a contagious
disease people are in danger of contract
fug a fatal malady wilt.out any will or
dispi sition of their own; while in the
pnee of intemperance the victim goes de
liberately into the danger. 1 suppose :
the ind fl'ei i-iico of which you speak, may
fn a great measure result from the in
clination of out pe pie fn let every man
link out for himself. Many firmly be
lieve ihat spirits are at I inns benofic'a!;
while others, who believe they are not,
arc yet willing lliat their ucighhoit.
Should have il.e.ir own way.
‘But,’asked 1!., ‘d0 you suppose nm
Spirituous liquors can ever he hem fil ial i
SB a beverage?’
‘On the contrary,’ I replied, ‘I thi k
t!hcy are a Curse and an iniquity, and
Nothing Ilse. But you l ave probably
had some experience.’ I meant that lie
linusi have ohsc rved a great dial during
his long lifer lint ho scea ed to mistake
The, for lie at once ret mm <1
‘Aye,— I have had exp. l ienee. At one
time of my life I used intoxicating drinks
to an excess, and suffered all natural
consequences. It was a curious cir
cumstance that finally fixed me in inv
purpose of t. lal al stmance. I will tell
yon the story if yon wish ’
Os course I wished it; and he pro
ceeded :
My father died when I was quite
young and I was left with my mother
and sister, the latter being two years
older than myself. VVe were rather
poor, anJ at the agent fifteen I entered
a stole as clerk; and thus I was enabled
to do something towards my mother’s
support. M.r sister worked with her
needle, and we lived very comfortably.
After I had assumed uiy clerkship, a
new set of acquaintances were formed,
and i soon contracted the habit of drink
ing-. W’e had social parties, and 1 be
come very fond of them. I w.s easily
excited, and a hub: too prune to give
way to ti c persuasions < f others; and
eie long I became so far tht victim ol
appetite, that I olten went and drank
alone. I spent my money, injured my,
health, darkened my reputation, and
brought misery into our little h nm.
My mother ahd uiy sister begged of me
to bleak off the habit; and finally my
employer told me he must discharge me
if I did uct lead a ■ differ, nt life. 1 had
been engaged n seven AI drunken brawls,
aid more than once I men carried home
hi a stale of utler help! ssuess.
T lesoived to break o 8 ttie habit et
tiiely aud gave uiy erupt, ytr and tuy
mother aud sistei a promve to teat et
fecl. I olten 1- it toe old appetite strong
upi ti un,aod more Uuc once I ca.oe
nigh breaking my pledge. Our evening,
about three months after my change of
habit, 1 sat in the st. re alone, my em
ployer having gene hon e, and left me to
put things to rights and lock up. VVe
iiad had a very hard day’s work, and I
was tired and weary, and thought how
i glass or tw > of spirits would revive
me. I sat down and pondered upon the
matter, tuy appetite holding argument
with my reason. .Inst then the door
opened, and Harry Baton entered. He
was one if 103’ eld ‘companions— a hap
py, rolicking fell w, with no one to Cure
for hot himself; aid 1 could not help li
king him for all Ilia wildness.
‘C me!’ he cried, gi\ ing me a slap up
on the shoulder, 'Charley Brent has got
In me, and we’re going to have a bit of a
time at Old Eph’s, Only a little quiet
sit-down, you know.’
‘Charley Brent was one of our boon
companions, and bad been absent six
months. 'Old Enh,’ was the fat old host
of the public inn. 1 wanted to see Char
ley very much. They would have a glo i
lions time at the tavern, and 1 knew I j
should be warmly we corned. Audi
knew, ton, that they would drink and
carouse; but what of that?—that was all
the fun. The temptation was a strong
one.
‘Willjou join us?’Harry asked.
‘I must think of it,’ I replied.
‘Baliaw!’ he retorted VVimt’s the use
of thinking. I'm going down after Sam j
and Jeny, and shall he hack in fifteen i
minutes; so do you lock up, and be ready, j
aud we’ll slop for you as we come along, j
• Alter he had gone I sal down at the!
desk to 11 fleet. Ah! there’s tho danger
sir—there’s the danger. The momenta
man begins to reason with his appetite
against the amis of moral duty, that
moment the first and most dangerous
step is taken. If lie cannot say NOI
and slick to it, there is no safety for him.
Appetite never wavers—it mutt either!
be ruled out or it, must rule. It is res-I
son that trembles and falters and turns
coward! But I sat there arid argued
with 1113'sell, like a fool that i was. I
finally leaned hack in my chair, and— ■
resolved that I would go. 1 argued no
more!
‘l’lesenl’y [ hoard footsteps at tin,
door, aid looked up. There stood liar
iy Patten, -niiliug aud joyous.
‘Come, 8.11,* he cried, ‘wo arc all
ready. ’
‘1 put on my hut, and followed him
from the store; and having lock’ and the
door, we walked away together. When
we leached the tavern, ll.il l v conducted
me into an iq;>. r room, where I foinul
all my o’d eompauions assembled, with
Charley Brent at the head of the talde.
lie sprang up as I entered, aud grasped
me by the hand.
* ‘They said you would not come,,’ lie
cried, ‘hut 1 told ’em they didn’t know
you. They couldn’t make me believe
that yon would give the cold shoulder
to nn old friend 111 that way. Come
boys—now for a bumper!’
‘ln a short time the wine began to
flow freely, and joy reigned supreme.
Snug and stoi3', hilarious mirth marked
the hours as tiny rp and oil, and bottle
after bottle was cracked and emptied.
What hap ii.css! I thought, llow ghul
all seemed to be that I was there, arid
how marked was the attention paid me
Filially it was proposed that the eaids
should be bin light on, utid that we should
plav a quiet game of poker. All ’.verc
iigrceil, and wo went at it, si ill drinking
and singing we pi.iyod. At first we
Con fiueil' the li.-tting at a dollar but we
had too much wine in for any such niis
era hie Hmi'r, aid we soon cairn and tin
bets as h'gh as ire pleased. 1 had some
live-and twenty (I liars ol my own,
which 1 b st in less than an hour.
It. so happened that I had two llujn
sand dollars 'belonging to 1113' employer,’
which I was to eairv* eve: to Ila y toll
curly in the morning 'or a Mr. Kendall,
who was to use it in Boston, vrhitbvr he
was going on the following d.>3'- •
thought I would take ten dollars of this,
land win back what I had lost—there
could he no danger; so I broke in upon
it. I drank tgain and a^aio —and then
i lost fi ft 3- dollars upon a single hand.
All hands seemed nek less of couseqneri-
I ecs and I followed in the same train.
I'o-rew more frci zin! as my losses in
creased and our social circle was chanc
ed into a hell of gambling demons, each
seeming eager to rob his neighbor. The
wine still flowed in copious draughts,
and I became iIH eager as the rest. At
times I lost,.and at times I won; but I
I st most. As the clock struck three I
staggered up from tho table without a
penny! 1 had lost tho whole two thou
sand dollars with which my employer
had entrusted me! •
‘For a while I was speechless. 1
drank again, and then l turned to Har
ry Patten. He find won the money
from me. 1 accused him of robbing in
He retorted hotly I swore I would
j have the money back, or I would have
! his life. He laughed rue to scorn, and
; told me I had uo firmness of purp- sa to
I carry out such a threat. I was mad—
drouk—crazy—and struck him in the
face. He seiz dm- by the arm, hut 1
tiroke from him and grasped a knife,
which lay- upon the table, ami stabbed
him to the heart! He fell upon the floor
withoiii a groan; and when I knew that
ue was dead I ru.rln and from the room. 1
rein- inhered IT tie more uutil 1 was in
Ihe sands of the c fibers, ad bv them I
was c ov> yed to tii • jail, and locked up
m a 2a 1 tow. damp durigc-ou. I wa»a
a- r i re. a a i a thief! . My cotßer casae
.HERE SHALL THE TRESS THE PEOPLE'S EISHTS MAINTAIN, UNAWED BY FEAR AND UNBRtBED BY SAIN.
QUITMAN, GEO., AUGUST 16, 1872.
!to «<•(' me- -her pray bead bowed in pair
and sorrow; and she saw her Id od
I stained hoy, she tainted away, and was
curried from the cell. My sister came
in a few hours afterwards with weeping
; and wailinp. and told me that our moth
jor was dead! Her heart was broken!
N< xt my employer came; he guz"d upon
me in sadne- s*--hc said In? forgave me
| the wrong 1 had dune him, and then he
i left me.
‘I bowed my head, and pressed my
| manacled hands upon my brow. I groan*
jid aloud in my agony, and called upon
| God to smite me from existence. Just
j then 1 heard a door open, and in a nm*
: ment nto:v a heavy hand was !a’d upon
|my shoulder. With a loud cry I leaped
| up and gazed about me.
‘‘ln meicy’s name what’s the matter
with yon?’ I lieaid a voice a sic.
‘1 looked and saw—lfarry Patten !
“Alive!’l whispered seizing him by
the nj-tn.
“Have yon been diearning,Bill? Bless
me, how wild you look!’ And as he
thus spoke he shrank p way from mo.
'Dreaming? "as it possible? 1 rub
bed my eyes and looked about me. I
was in the stole—behind the desk —and
I had been asleep in my chair, with my
head hanging l uckwurds against the
wall!
4 'l have been dreaming/ said I, as
soon ms I could command my speech.
“It must have been a hard one/ Har
ry returned, ‘for I found yon groaning
as though you were just dying. But
cyme/ he added, in a cheerful L no; ‘Sam
and Jerry are waiting, and we must be
going. A few glasses of wine, and a
swng, and you’ll t><* all right/
“No/ said I, I shall not go to-night.’
“Pooh!—nonsense! Come along/
“1 shall not!’ was my stern response.
And then I added, ‘1 don’t want to offend
you, Harry, hut, in time to come, when
ever and wherever 1 ain asked to join
you over the wine*cup, my answer will
be the same. No power can move me
from that purpose, so don’t turny me by
trying.’
‘My friend left me, and I locked on the
store and went home, pondering as I
went upon the circumstances of the even
ing. My dream had been a dreadful
one, hut m«t*a bit more teniblo than the
reality. How many a youth like m<
had been carried down, in fearful fact,
just where I had berii taken by a dreamt
li had i lusting irnpicssi'iu upon mv
mind, ami at once fixed me in the way
of Right. When 1 went into my homo
that. night, and found my mother and
sister wo happy and peaceful, I asked
myself—'Shall 1 be the one to bring
sorrow and shame upon those loving,
faithful hearts? Am! I said within n\ - j
self 'NO! And I have found no and Hi
cully in saying ‘NO’ ever since,
‘Aud now, sir, I can tell you rcthc
thing i I the youths who formed that so*
cial circle, but not &I!—not all. There
were nine of us who used to meet at that j
tavern.* Two of them 1 putsuuded t«»j
follow rue into the ark. Os the. rest live!
were married, and afterwards died j
drunkards. Two went away—r.m off*
torccupe creditors—and I never leard
from them again. Those live tiled
tlrunkaid*s graves—l know that, but do
not know all tin* suffeiing one; tlu-y left j
behind them. Os the secrets of their
homes, and of the anguished, broken
hearts of the widowed and the father- j
less, I know n f. 1 can guess-—! think
I cm guess truly—and so can you.'
Aye—end so can we all !
5 iMi'ctuixg F r M''Tit; ks. —In the Hast
number of the Eclectic Medical Journal
the editor remarks that, young babies of
ten cry from actual thirst. Their natur
al supply is intended aS find not as
! drif k, and makes them thirsty without;
, quenching the thirst as cool liquid j
would. Many a mother is anxious to .
know what ails the little sufferer that it ;
j sh* uld cry so loudly, and, imagening it j
■ to be suffering from pain, a<Jminist.( is
; sonic u n nr. ecus ary opiate, or palp killer,
when all the child needs is a few tea
cpooopfifnl of oi od pure, spark ling cold
water. Ah the experiment is a very
-imple and easy one, let all moifx ns try
|it first before having recourse to medi
cine. In warm weather particularly,
children may be suffering from thirst
; instead of paine, aud a sma.ll quantity ol
| cold water may give them imme
diate relief.
Ilißliiug Into Print*
Editors often come in contact will* ;
men who get furiously angry at a refusal i
to print their grievances, or think him
very “blow" if he does not jump at the j
: first opportunity to publish some alleged ;
dreadful fact about a public man which 1
: he, the complainant, lias just found out. ;
Such men should be thankful tint there ;
is such an institution as the cool, expe
rienced editor, to stand between them
and the publ'C, or they would jbe apt to
commit some unpleasant to! ies in a life**
lime. Let a man who i« terribly angry i
about his dinner not being ready on
time, sit down and writ" just wrial lie .
would like to say a >oat it, and then pot
it away for the next ‘layloading. He
would be convinced Rat the greatest
fools ou earth are lb t>« woo um into
The Old Man's Wooing.
BY At.ICE CAUET. '
“Come nit upon my Unco, Minnie,
And, darling, do not frown.
You know mv hair is thin and white,
And y»#rs is thick and luown.
So. sit upon my knee. Minnie.
And loan your bright head low
Against, my cheek, for see. Minnie,
My hair is white as snow.
"And sing me that old song, Minnie,
About lln* Summer dead,
Its pleasant tune has all die time
Been going through my head,
Since when you sung it fust, Minnie,
In tones so sweet and clear,
With hut a little sky between
Ourselves aud heaven, my dear.
"Mv eyes are growing blind, Minnie,
Mv heart is sad with earn,
Ami you are like a bright young rose,
That 1 must never wear.
If you were not so young, Minnie,
And I were not so gray,
Fd ask it'you would smile sometimeF,
And make my darkness day.
“Oh! when I'm dead and gone, Minnie,
You must wot coine to weep;
The lightest sigli you breathed for me,
Would wake mi* out of sleep :
Would wake me out of death, Minnie—
Ah! do not treiMHe so :
You k.vow 1 cannot love, M'nuie,
My hair is white ns snow!”
MY* WIFE’S riANO.
The dm! is accomplished My wife
hns got si piano, and now farewell tho
tranquil mind farewell the content and
tin* evening papers, and the big cigars
that make ambition, virtue, oh, farewell!
‘Arid, oh 1 ye mortal engines, whose* rude i
throats the mortal Jove's dread clamors
counterfoil !’ But stop, 1 can’t bid them
farewell, for one of them has just arriv
ed. It came on a diav. Six men car
ried it into the parloi, and it grunted
awfully. H wqjgheH a ton, shines like
a mirror, and has carved Cupids climb
ing np its limbs. And such lungs—
whew 1 My wife lias commenced to |
practice, and the first time sin* touched
the machine, I thought we were in the
midst of a thunder storm, and the light
ning had struck the crockery chest. The
cat, with tail erect, took a bee line for a
particular friend upon the back fence,!
demolishing i six shilling pane of glass, j
The baby awoke aud the little f* Row j
tried his beat to beat the instrument, i
but he couldn't do it It beat him, A
teacher has been introduced into the
imuso. lie says he is th«* last <>f Napo
leon’s grand army. He wears a huv *
moustache, looks ;ft me fiercely, smells
of garlic, and goes by tin* name oft burnt.
Run away and never come back again
by. Hi played un extract d<* opeia the
other night.. lie run his fingers through j
his hair twice, then grinned, then he
cock'd Us eyes op at the ceiling, like u
monkey hunting tins aud then came
down one of his fingers, and I heard a.
delightful H 'Und similar to that produc
ed by a cockroach dancing upon the ten
or string of a fiddle. Down came anoth
er finger, and I was remiinh <1 of’the wind
whistling through a knot hole in a hen
cool). He touched h’s thumb, and I
thought that 1 was in an orchard listen
ing to the distant braying of a jackass.
Now he ran his fingers along the keys,
and I thought, of a hoy rattling a ntick
upon a picket fence. All of u sudden he
stopped, and I thought something tiad
hapj.i in and. Then down came both fisis,
and, oh, Lord! such a noise was never
heard'before, i thought a hurricane
had struck the ho nub, and the walls were
caving in. I imagined 1 was in the cel
lar, and a ton of coal was falling upon
my head. I thought the machine bad
hursted, when the infernal noise stopped,
and I heard rny wife ejaculate—
‘Exquisite!’ ‘What the deuce is the
mallei?' The answer was, ‘Why, dear,
that's La Sonnarnbula!’ *])—n Sotiuam*
hula!'thought I; and the Count rolled
up liis sheet of paper. He called, it mu
sic; but for the Id*; of me, I can’t make
it look like anything else than a rail
fence with a lot of juvenile niggers dim
lung over. Before tnat instrument ol
tori lire came into the house, I could en
ji>v myself, but now every darned woman
in the neighborhood must he invited to
bear the new piano, and every time the ,
blasted thing shrieks out, like a locorno- i
tive with the bronchitis, I have to praise j
its tone, and when the invited guests
playing, I have to way, ‘Exquisite!’ *De*
lightfii)!’ ‘Heavenly,’ and all such trash,
while at the same time, I know just as
much about music as a blind codfish.
There are more tuning tarnmers than
comfort* in our house, and—.l w*'sii the:
inventor of the piano was troubled with
a perpetual nightmare, and obliged to
sleep in one of his instruments all his
life. As for myself, I had rather put my
head under a tin pan and be drummed
to sleep with a pair of smoothing irons
than hear ‘La S mriambula/ or any other
La thumped out of a piano. Scatter
pennies in front of my house, Knd draw
together all the wandering minstrels in
the city, hand organs, banjo** fiddles,
tamborines, ratting bones, and fisi» |
horns j let a juvenile monk<y crawl in at !
my window in search ot three cents piec*
er* —let me he awakened at midnight by
lln* cry of ‘murdei I’—ring thd hills aud
have a devil of a time generally—do
this aud I will not complain; but Lauioh
the pianos-
My piano is got to go. I am going
to .anneb the infernal machine out of the
Vind-w the first daik ingbt, and, rny
friends, I advise you .to sleep with cot
ton in your ears, or when she gives her
dying grunt, you’ll think you’ve fallen
out of b'd, or 2- fallen star ban go >«* to
ioc-bt jO u i.oase-i *p. For i-so.-.
million of ‘Young America,’ 1 will state
Unit all tin; pieces of brass, wire and ivo
ry keys they are welcome to, but the
skeleton 1 want for a refrigerator.
Steam Superceded.
[From the Newark Advertiser.]
Are we on the eve of another great
revolution? Net a civil war, lint Such a
revolution as resulted from the invention
of the locomotive and the electric tele
graph. Only thirty years ago Professor
| Morse was struggling to get aid of (’on
j gross to make a triai of his wonderful
I invention. And now another inventor
I lias gained permission of the govern
ment to make another experiment which
may yet become as interesting an event
in history as the trial of the famous elec
tric wire, between Baltimore and Wash
ington. The coming man is Albert
Brisbane, for a time a resident of Irving
ton, and h's invention is a kind ofpnuo
malic tube, by means of which time and
spa.-e are to he annihilated. His nnre
miiting efforts last winter succeeded in
getting from Congress an appropriation
of fifteen thousand dollars for the purpose
es laying a tube between the capitol at
Washington and the Government print—
ing-oflico—a distance of half a mile and
if the experiment proves satisfactory,
another appropriation will bo granted
for the. construe:ion of a tube between
Washington and Baltimore, the ground
of the first telegraphic triumph. The
method of tran lit will bo by hollow
sphere, propelled through the tube by
compressed air, and same idea of the ve
locity with which they can be driven
may be got from Mr. Brisbane's prophecy
that the New York papers will be sent
to Chicago and St- Louis in time for the
eight o’clock breakfast tables. Thu
general establishment of this mode ot
transportation would he a sad blow to
the railroad system of tiro country. An
immediate loss of all freight traffic would
ensue to the railroads, and they, with
steamboats that plv our rivers, would
he cousig icd to the insignificance oi
mere pleasure excursion party Convey
ances.
Although Mr. Brisbane’s invention has j
been achieved upon the basis of an ol!
theory, he will deserve none the less i
credit in cage of success, for the man who |
most deserves the world’s gratitude is he 1
by whose effort the world derives practi
cal hem lit. Tm inventor's confidence
in the result, and the gen pally acknow
ledg'd feasibility of a practical applica
tion of the pueumalic theory seem to
promise success, and is to be hoped that
the c.nning experiment may boa satis
lactory one.
The Lottie oi'Oil.
Once upon a time there lived an old
gentleman in a large house, lie had j
servants and' everything- he wanted, yet. j
he was not happy, and when things did j
not go its lie wished he was cross. At!
last his servants left him. Qaim out of
temper, he went to a neighbor with the j
story of Ids distresses.
'll scums to me,’said the neighbor,dit
Would be well for you to Jo i V yourself a :
little
•To oil myself?’
‘Yes; 1 will explain. Some time ago,
one ol the doors in my house creaked,
and nobody bked to go in ei out by it.
One dav 1 oi'ed its hinges, arid it lias
been used by everybody since.’
‘Then you think I am like your creak
ing d-.0-i?’ cried the old gentleman.
‘How do yon want me to oil myself?’
'Thai'.- an easy mailer, ’ said the neigh
bor. ‘Go homo and gel a servant, and
when he does right praise hm. If, on
the contrary, he dr es sum -thing wrung,
do not be cross; n.-ften your voice, and
words with the oil of love.’ •
The old gentleman Weul home, and no
hai'sh or unkind words was heard in his
bouse afterwards.
Every one should have a bottle of tins
precious oil, for every one is liable to
have a creaking hinge in the chape of a
fretful or peevish spirit, or an angry
temper, or a sullen, sulky disposition, oi
a slrtbb rn, perverse will. Sormßtinn-s
these are found in flip children of the
family. Lei this oil of iovu be always
at hand, and it will he found es gieat
j sot vice in giving camfort and peace to
l the whole household.
Singular Bivore Suit.
The On 1 1 in vi He duiTespntiduiit of tli ■
Democrat relates the following story, the
cirCums’ai ces of which, while they are
exceedingly sensational, can be vouched
fur bv persons of undoubted veracity:
One of the most remarkable divorce
cases on reesrd has been begun, and is
to be tried at tiro August term of the
Macoupin Comity Circuit Court. The
parties have lived together for seven
teen years; known to the world as hus
band and wife. The reputed husband
now files a hill, alledging the so-called
marriage to have taken place in Macou
pin county in 1555, and praying tor a
divorce on she ground that the person
to whom ho was then formally married
is not a woman, and although previous
to and at the lime of Said reputed mar
riage he was induced to believe the per
son to be a woiuau l! the allegations
ot the toll and outside parlies me true,
the trial will show the extraordinary
case of two men h .ving lived together
for tors long period ot time in Hie onar
acter of husband and wile; au instance,
in other wolds, lu wnten a ualurat
enuucti Inis tie.-c aide to pels - ale the
JeOUle :..u V r, i3d -la ».- u to go
j’s2.oQ nor Annum!
NO. 33
through the solemn external forma of
marriage, and then tocontinne for many
years to deceive neighbors i.ud even in
tonate friends as to his. real sex. The
complainant a Hodges that his ignorance
of the laws of this country, he being a.
[ German, and the advice of, supposed
I competent parties, prevented him from
j filing a bill for release long- ago from'
i this ps iido marriage. A.) the parlies
l ave accumulated considerab'e proper
! tv, it will be a point of great interest
for the eoiut to decide upon its eqnita
| division, in case ot a desolation es tbd
curious onpur'lueratiip.
A Besson on Political Economy.
A certain Judge living in tlm.vicinity,
of Portland, Oregon, having had a’ load'
of wood brought into his yard, a Chinese
ivood-Sawyer applied for the job of saw-’
i»g it
“lfovv mncliec?” asked the Judge.
“flap dollar,” replied John.
A bargain was about to he struck,'
when an h it Ir American citizen demand
ed the job,
Blow much!* again asked the Judge.'
‘A dodar and a Half,’ replied the Amer
ican citizen.
The Judge demurred, saying that tho
Chinaman had just offered to do the
same for a halt a dollar. ‘However, ’
said he, ‘as i prefer to encourage white
American labor, I will pay you a dollar
and a half.'
The Judge returned gome hoars after*.'
wards, and, to his surprise, found tho
Chinaman, and not tho white man, at'
work upon his wood pile.’,
‘How's this, how's tills!’said his hon
or,‘who told you to saw my wood!’
‘ililican mau,’said John.
“How touchcc he pay?’ enquired tho
Judge.
‘Hap dpßar,’said John.
Tho Judge accepted this lesson in
cheap Asiatic labor.
Tlii-i is thi} way Tilton talks about bis'
sider, Pusan !?. Anthony: "bhe alight
ed, dove like, in the midst ol the Cincin
nati convention, and found no resting
place for her piettv feet in that surging
Hood. She came down upon Baltimore,’
like an eagle decendiug from her moun
tain ervie to snatch' away without so’
much as one little lamb to flesh her
beak upon. At Philadelphia', .however,'
it vv:i idtl.. i wise; tl.oieshe and her sis
ters found recognition, and upon Pnila-I
dolphin she drops her benedict but and
over its doings flaps her wings."
A Wife ft» Trouble.
“Pray, tell me, my dear what is the
cause ol those teal - I”
“01 such disgrace 1 T have opened’
one of your letters, supposing it lobe
adon ssed lo n ysrlf. (Vrtaiirly it look
ed more like Mrs. Bun Mr.”
“Is that all? What harm c-in their ho,
in a wife opening her hasbands letters?’.’.
“But tie content.-! Such a disgrace 1’
“What ! has anyone darn! to writo’me
a letter unfit for my wile to read!"
“(Jh, no. It is couched in tho most
chaste language; but tbe disgrace!”
The husband eagerly caught, up the
letter and c niiinencud, reading tho epis
tle that had been tho means of nearly
breaking his wife’s heart. Header, you
i couldn't guess lire cause in mi age. It
I was mi other than a bill from the prin-
I ter for nine years subscription.
| A most sensible woman.
Cuokr.n CucoMßfcKs. —“It does not seem
v iy generally known,’’ says an ex-*
change, “that the cncnmbet is one of tho
m ml useful vegetables wo have, and can
j he dressed in a greater variety ol palata
ble wars except t e tomato, ft is but
ler than squash ad more delicate than
I the cgg-pl.iut, prepared in the same
; manner; can he slewed, fried, or stuffed,'
and, above all, can he par-boiled, inash
| ini up in batter and fried as fl itters,'
more pleasant am! easily prepatcrl than
| anv other vegetable or fruit When a’
! eucum'l er becomes'just too old to be us
ed raw or (or pickling, il is then at its
best, for cooking, and may be used for
1 that ptirp e even until the seeds become
hard. A raw cucumber is, fur most per
son:;; au indigestible alum union, how
ever much they may admire its flavor
and odor
The following very perspicuous and'
’ laconic manner ol telling a plain story
miy he instructive to a slanderer:—
“Mother Jasper told mo that she heard’
! Grate Wood’s wife say that John Hard-’
! stone’s aunt mentioned to tier that Mrs
| Trusty w s present when the widow
j Barman said l at Capl. Hear toll'd c -usin'
; inought Ensigh Doolittle’s sister l eliev
jed B.at old Mrs. Oxby reck >ued that"
-Snot Trifle's better half had tu;d Mrs.
j Spaulding that she heard John Kheuner’s
| woman say that her mother'Mold her that
| Mis. Bagatelle had I wo husbands.”
A modern essayist makes tlie follow
i iiig points : “The social buzzer is a
well dm ssed anil gentlemanly bore, who
talks hi- victim into a stale oi nei vous
nesa that resembles insanity. His U'U
ly torees him to believe lliaL ho is a bril*
il.int couveisalionatist, and lie mistakes
the silence widen proceeds Iron) disgust
lor mat wuieli is evoked !>v ad niratiou.’
A Chicago w mum lias oi-uriid a man
in j til. tsne ttrags bnc is “the duly gill'
in town who knows where tor teller
stays ol nights ”
Au l'huois i-duor *««» ms party is.on
; the v- rge ot a piecipice, but calls upoii
U t o.iaigtit' a.-.-ad.