Newspaper Page Text
BY S. B. CRAFTOI.
SANDERSYILLE, GEORGIA, TUESDAY, AUGUST 24, 1852.
VOL. VI-40. 81.
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POETRY.
HOPE.
There's naught whicUcan the mind allay,
When threatning storms portentous roll,
Or can the mighty current stay,
Which sweeps its waters o’er the soul,
Like Hope, sweet messenger of love,
Which doth our feelings move.
When melancholy comes like night,
And casts its shadow o’er the mind.
When grief advances like a blight,
And sadness follows on behind;
Ah? then it is that hope shines bright,
And paints the future for our sight.
When friends dearest, and kind ones chide,
And all bespeak of coming woe;—
When envy pours its darkening tide,
The purity of hearts to flow.
Oh! then comes hope, a beaming star.
Whose kindly rays shines from afar.
When proud youth by poverty
Is bowed in spirit down to earth,
What is it bids his pinions try
And ’scape the overwhelming death;
But hope, which, like a fancied dream
Pours o’er his soul her silvery stream.
When all that hope has painted bright,
Her fancied wealth, and promised fame-
Do disappoint our ardent sight,
And quench ambitious burning flame
E’ven then she shows her deepest power
And bears us through the trying hour.
When death her seal stamps on the brow,
And all the soul has sought to win,
O’erwhelm the mind with anguish now,
And all is bitterness within.
Ah! then comes hope, and points him where
His home shall be surpassing fair.
Can’t do without a Paper.
A SOLILOQUY, BY “ONE OF THE PEOPLE. '
What! do without a paper! No,
I’ve triedit to my sorrow;
So, to subscribe for one, I’ll go,
Nor wait until to-morrow.
Should lovers hang or drown themselyes,
Or other foolish capers,
I never get to hear of it—
I do not take the r, a ii ersl
Why there’s my neighbor, Toby Stout,
He always reads the News,
And having news to talk about,
He never gets the “blues;”
While other yawn in ennui,
His mind is light as vapor;
The cause is plain to half an eye—
He always takes the paper!
While neighbor Stout hears all the newsj
And knows each current price,
And always minds the P’s and Q,’s,
By taking good advice,
I cannot tell the price of grain,
Of poultry, coffee, taper,
Or ’any kind of merchandise—
Because I take no paper!
Though I have studies which require
Much time and mental labor,
Yet 1 can spare a little time
As well as Stout, my neighbor;
Though time be precious, I can use
A longer midnight taper,
And thus find time to read the News,
Therefore I’lf take the paper!
MISCELLANEO US.
A Thrilling Narrative.
CIRCUMSTANTIAL EVIDENCE
The annexed account of the conviction
and execution of a man on the basis of cir
cumstantial evidence, is copied from a late
volume of Chamber’s Edinburgh Journal.
The tragedy transpired more than a hun
dred years ago ; and, is now cited to warn
courts and juries against relying too impli
citly on circumstantial evidence.
There is now, in one of the jails of Dutch
ess county, says the New York Sunday At
las, a woman named Matilda Hoag, senten
ced to be executed on the 7th of May, for
the alleged murder of her husband- We
read, with a good deal of attention, the trial
of Mrs. Hoag, as well as the charge of the
presiding magistrate, the able and impar-
ial Judge Barculo, The most of the testi
mony in the case, was circumstantial—
none of it was positively direct. We thought
however, that the circumstantial was far
more reliable than the other, most of which
appeared to us to be of a very irresponsible
haracter. The jury, however, found a ver
dict of guilty, in obedience rather to what
appeared to be villiage opinion than any
thing else. Had we been on the jury, we
would have remained confined till dooms
day, before we would have found the wo
man guilty. She gave birth to a female
child on Wednesday ! We hope, that in
asmuch as she is a woman, a mother—inas
much as the testimony against her ought
not to be relied on, she will be pardoned
by the Governor, or receive commutation of
punishment. Besides her infant; she has
five other little children.
“In the year 1742 a case of a very re
markable nature occurred near Hull, En
gland. A gentleman travelling to that
place was stopped late in the evening, about
seven miles from town, by a single high
wayman, and robbed of a purse containing
twenty guineas. The highwayman made
off by a different path at full speed, and the
gentleman frightened but not injured, ex
cept in purse, pursued his journey. It was
growing late, however, and being naturally
much agitated by what had passed, lie rode
only two miles further, and stopped at the
Bull Inn, kept by Mr. James Brunell. lie
went to the kitchen to give directions a-
bout his supper, where he related to several
persons present the fact of his having been
robbed; to which he added this peculiar
circumstance, that when he travelled he al
ways gave his gold a peculiar mark, and
that every guinea taken from his purse was
thus marked. Hence he hoped the robber
would be detected. Supper being ready be
retired.
“The gentleman had not long finished
his supper, when Mr. Brunell came into the
parlor where he was, aud after the usual in
quiry of landlords as to the guest’s satisfac
tion with the meal, observed : ‘Sir, I un
derstand that you have been robbed not
far hence, this evening?’ ‘I have sir,’ was
the reply. ‘And your money was marked?’
continued the landlord. ‘It was,’ said the
traveller. ‘A circumstance has arisen,’ re
sumed Mr. Brunell, ‘which leads me to
think that I can point out the robber. Pray
at what time in the evening were you stop
ped ?’ ‘It was just setting in to be dark,’ re
plied the traveller. ‘The time confirms my
suspicions,’ said the landlord; and then he
informed the traveller that he had a waiter,
one John Jennings, who of late had been
very full of money, and so very extravagant
that he (the landlord,) had been surprised
at it, and bad determined to part with him
his conduct being every way suspicious;
that long before dark that night, he had
sent Jennings out to get a guinea changed
for him; that the man had only come back
since the arrival of the traveller, saying that
he coukl not get change; and that, seeing
Jennings to be in liquor, he had sent him
to bed. Mr. Brunell coutinueclOlo say
that when the guinea was brought back
to him, it struck him it was not the same
one he had sent out for change, there be
ing on the returned one a mark, which he
was very sure was not upon the other ; but
that be shouldprobably lravethought no more
the matter (JenniDgs having frequently had
gold in his pocket of late) had not the peo
pie in the kitchen teld him what the trav
eler had related respecting the robbery,
and the circumstance of the guinea being
marked, He (Mr. Brunell) bad not been
present when this relation was made, and
luckily, before he beard of it from the peo
ple in the kitchen, he had paid away the
guinea to a man who lived at a distance,
and now had gone home. ‘The circum
stance, however,’ said the landlord, in con
clusion, ‘struck me so very strongly, that
I could not refrain, as an honest man, from
coming and giving information of it.’
“Mr. Brunell was duly thanked for his
candid disclosure. There appeared from
it the strongest reasons for suspecting Jen
nings ; and if, on searching him any other
of the marked guineas should be found,
and tbe gentleman could indentify them,
there would then remain no doubt in tbe
matter. It was now agreed to go up to his
room. Jennings was fast asleep); his pock
ets were searched and from one of them was
drawn forth a purse, containg exactly nine
teen guineas. Suspicion now became cer
tainty; for tbe gentleman declared the purse
and guineas to be- identically those of
which he had been robbed. Assistance
was called, Jennings was awakened, drag
ged out of bed, and charged with tbe rob-
bory. He denied it firmly; but circumstan
ces were too strong to gain him belief. He
was secured that night and next day taken
before a justice of the peace. The gentle
man and Mr. Brunell deposed the facts up
on oath; and Jennings, having no proofs,
nothing but the mere assertions of innocence
which could not be credited, was commit
ted to take bis trial at the next assizes.
“So strong seemed tbe case against him,
that most of the man’s friends advised him
to plead guilty, and throw himself on the
mercy of the court. This advice he reject
ed, and when arraigned, plead not guilty.
The prosecutor swore to the fact of the rob
bery ; though, as it was in a mask, he could
not swear to%e person of the prisoner, but
thought him of the same stature nearly, as
the man who robbed him.. To the puise
and guineas, when they were produced in
court, he swore-—as to the purse 1 positively,
and as to the marked guineas, to the best of
his belief; and he testified to -their having
been taken from the pocket of the prisoner.
The prisoner’s master, Mr. Brunell, de
posed as to the sending of Jennings for the
change of a guinea, and to the waiter’s
having brought back to him a marked one
in the room of the one be had given him
unmarked. He also gave evidence as to
the discovery of the purse and guineas on
the prisoner. To consummate the proof, the
man to whom Mr. Brunell had paid the
guinea as mentioned, came forward aud
produced the coin, testifying at the same
time, that he had received it on the verv
evening of the robbery, fiom tbe prisoner’s
-master, in payment of a debt; and the trav
eller, or prosecutor, ou comparing it with
the other nineteen, swore to its being, to
the best of bis belief, one of the twenty
marked guineas taken from him by the
highwayman, and of which the other nine
teen were found on Jennings.
“The judge summed up the evidence,
pointing out all the concurring circumstan
ces against the prisoner; and the jury, con
vinced by tbe strong accumulation of cir
cumstantial evidence, without going out of
court, brought in a verdict of guilty. Jen
nings was executed sometime afterwards at
Hull, repeatedly declaring his innocence up
to the very moment of his execution. With
in about twelve months afterwards, Brunell
the master of Jennings, was himself takeu
up for a robbery committed on a guest in
his house, and the fact being proved on the
trial he was convicted and ordered for exe
cution. The approach of death brought
on repentance, and repentence confession.
Brunell not only acknowledged that he
had been guilty of many highway robber-
ries, and owned himself to have committed
the very one for which poor Jennings suf
fered.
“The account which Brunell gave, was
that after having robbed tbe traveler, he
had got home before him by swifter riding
and a nearer way. That he found a man
waiting for him, and to whom, not having
enough of other money in his pocket, lie
gave away one of the twenty guineas which
he had just obtained by tbe robbery. Pre
sently came in the robbed gentleman, who
whilst Brunell, not knowing of his arrival,
was fin the stable, told his tale as before re
lated, in the kitchen. The gentleman, had
scarcely left the kitchen before Brunell en
tered it, and there to his consternation,
heard of tbe fact of the guineas being
marked. He became dreadfully alarmed.
The guinea which he had paid away, he
dared not ask back again, and as the affair
of tbe robbery, as well as the circnmstan-
stance of the marked guineas, would soon
become publicly known, he saw nothing
but detection, disgrace and death. In this
dilemma the thought of accusing and sacri
ficing poor Jennings, occurred to him. The
state of intoxication in which Jennings was
gave him an opportunity of concealing the
money in the waiter’s pocket. The rest of
the story the reader knows ”
The Ru.ro Seller’s Drearo.
“Well, this is too horrid, I cannot continue
this business any longer.”
“Why, dear, what’s the matter now?”
Not Much of Anything from
Nothing.
Under this modest title the ‘gem drop
per’of the Chicago Journal gives one of
“Oh such a dream such a rattling of dead the prettiest domestic scenes we ever met
men’s bones, and such an army of starved ' in a newspaper. Its charming and natural
mortals to many murderers, such cries and simplicity will touch a chord in every par-
shrieks and yells and such horrid gnaskin of ent’s heart
teeth, and glaring of eyes, and such a blaz
ing fire, and such devils—oh! I eannot en
dure it. My hair stands on end, and 1 am
Yesterday we saw a wagon loaded with
wheat coming to town—nothing strange in
that certainly. And a man driving the
so filled with horror I can scarcely speak! j team, and a woman perched on the load
Oh, if ever I sell rum again!” j beside him, aud a child throned in the wo
“My dear you are frightened.” | man’s lap—nothing strange in that either.
“Yes, indeed I am; another such a night: And it required no partictilar shrewdness
will I not pass for worlds.” j to determine that the woman was the pro-
“My dear, perhaps—” j perty—-person^bof course—of tbe man, and
- - _ jl.V y
“Oh don’t talk to me. I am determined [ that the black eyjkl? round faced child was
not to have anything more to do with rum,
anyhow. Don’t you think Tom Wilson
came to me, with bis throat cat from ear to
ear, and such a horrible gash, and it was so
hard for him to speak, and so much blood,
and, says he “See here Joe, the result of
the property of both of them.
So much we know—so much we suppose
everybody saw,'who looked. It is a lair
inference that the wife came in to help her
husband “trade out” a portion of the pro-
Pray Without Ceasing*
At an association of clergymen, on a cer
tain occasion, it was proposed to hold a
meeting for the purpose of considering the
words of the apostle, “Pray without ceas-
i ng.” The meeting was to be held in a
month, and, in the meantime, each clergy
man was to write down his opinions and
bring it in to be read. A religious servant
girl who lived in the house of one of the
eleigymen, ovekeard him talking about the
matter, whereupon she exclaimed :
“What! a month wanted to tell the
meaning of that text in the Bible.”
“Well, well, Mary,” said an old minister,
“what can you say about it ? Let us know
how you understand it—can you pray all
your rumselling!” My blood chilled at the
sight, and just then the house seemed to
turn bottom up, tbe earth opened, and a
little imp took me by the hand, saying.” Fol
low me.” As I went grim devils held out
to me cups of liquid fire, saying, “Drink
this.” I dared not refuse every draught
set me in a rage. Serpents hissed Qn each
side, and from above reached down their |
hands and whispered Rumseller. On and on,
the imp led me through a narrow pass. All
at once he paused, aud said, “Are you dry?”
Yes,’ I replied. Then he struck a trap door
with his foot, and, down down we went,
and legions of fiery serpents rushed after us,
whispering, Rumseller! Rumseller!!’ At
length, we stopped again and the imp ask
ed me as before, ‘Are you dry?’ Yes,’ I re
plied.” He then touched a spring; a door
flew open; there thousands of old worn out
rum-drinkers, crying most piteously. ‘Rum,
rum give me some rum!” When they saw
me they stopped a moment to see who I
was. Then the imp cried out, so as to make
all shake again, “Rumseller!” and kurlinrr
me in shut the door. Fora moment they
fixed their ferocious eyes upon me, and then
uttered a united yell “Damn Him!” which
filled me with such terror I awoke. There,
wife, dream or no dream, I will never sell
another drop of the infernal stuff,—I will
not.”
ceeds of the wheat, the product of so much
tuu iiinu.
“O yes; the more I have to do, the more
I can pray.”
“Indeed ! well Mary, do let us know how
it is—for most people tnink otherwise.’
“Well, sir,’ said the girl, “when I first
open my eyes in the morning. I prap, Lord
open the eyes of my understanding; and
while I am dressing, I pray that I may be
clothed with a robe of righteousness ;”and
when I have washed me, I ask for the wash
ing of regeneration; and as I begin work, I
pray that I may have strength equal to my
day; when I begin to kindle up the fire
I pray God’s works may revive in my soul;
aud as I sweep out the house, I pray that
my heart may be cleansed of all its impuri
ties; and while preparing and partaking of
breakfast, I desire to be led with the hid
den manna, and the sincere milk of the
word; and as I am busy with the little chil
dren, I look to God as my Father, and pray
for the Spirit of Adoption, that I may be
His child—and so on all day: everything I
do furnishes me with a thought of prayer.
“Enough ! enough.!” cried the old. di
vine. “These things are revealed to babes,
and hid from the wise and prudent.” “Go
on, Mary,” said, he, ‘pray without ceasing;
and as for us, my brethren let us bless the
Lord for this exposition, and remember
that he said : ‘The meek will he guide in
judgment.”
The essay, as a matter of course, was not
considered necessary, after this little event
occurred.—Ghristain Sun.
A “Verdant” in a Cotton Mill.
A raw, straw-hatted, sandy whiskered
six footer, one of the purely uninitated, came
in recently from Greene county with a load
of wood for a factory company. Not satisfied
with contemplating the “poetry of motion,”
at a safe distance, our hero must needs'in
troduce himself between the cards, to get a
nearer view. This move brought his “neith
er habiliment” into dangerous proximity to
the uearing of tbe next card, and thereby
hangs a tale.
“You, I say? She goes pooty, don’t she,
bos?” slid Jonathan, inquiringly.
“She don’t do anything else,” responded
the stripper. “But you must be very care
ful how you move around this hardware.
“Twas only last week sir, tba. a promising
young man from Oxford, a student at Col
lege there, was drawn into that very card,
sir, and before any assistance could reach'
him he was run through, and manufactured
into No. 16. super extra, cotton worp yarn!”
Old but Good—The following is old but
good. Tbe father of it is dead; but the
child has life and pitch in it that never will
die:
“I say, boy stop that ox.”
“I haven’t got no stopper, sir.”
“Well, head him then.”
“He’s already headed, sir.”
^“Confound your impertinence; turn him.”
“He’s right side out already, sir.”
“Speak to him, you rascal, you.”
“Good morning, Mr. Ox.
"i s—s—wow! I believe yuer joking!”
stuttered Jonathan.
“Fact sir” continued the stripper; “and
his disconsolate mother came down two days
ago, and got five bunches of that same yarn
as melancholy relics.”
“By the poker, that can’t be true!”
“Fact, sir, fact! and each of his fellow stu
dents purchased a skein a pieee,to be set in
Lockets, and worn in remembrance of de
parted worth!”
“Is that a fact now? Was he really carded,
spun, and sett in lockets!”
A sense of personal danger shot across
our hero’s mind; he began to retreat precip
itately without waiting for an answer. But
there was not much room to spare between
himself and the gearing of the card behind.
Another step backwards completed the cer
emony of introduction. His unwhispera-
bles being of large “calibre,” the process of
snarling them up iu a hard knot was no ways
slow. Our hero “gave tongue” instanter.
“Oh! M-u-r-d-e-r! Let go!—you h-u-r-t!
Blast your picter! Let go! Ain’t you
ashamed! Get out! Let ago on me—
can’t ye—do!”
The card stripper threw off the belt, but
the momentum of the cylinder kept it re
volving, and our hero, supposing it iu full
operation, burst out anew.
“Oh stop her! stop her, do; I ain’t well,
and I orter be at home. Father want,s the
steers and mother’s going to bake. Stop
the tarnal masheen, can’t ye?—do! Aint
ye got no feelin’ for a feller in distress? Oh,
dear! I’ll be carded and spun and made in
to lockets! Je—ru—sa—lem! How I wish
I was to Greene!”
The card was stopped at last, but Jona
than’s clothes were so tangled in the gear
ing, that it was no slight task to' extricate
him, and it was only by cutting out the
whole of the “invested territory,” that he
was finally released.
labor, and so many sunshines and rains
The pair were somewhere this side—a
fine point of observation isn’t it?—this side
of forty, and it is presumptive, if blessed
like their neighbors, they left two or three
children at home, “to keep house,” while
they came to town—perhaps two girls and
a boy, or as it is immaterial to us, two boys
and one girl.
Well, we followed the pair, in and
through until the wheat was sold, the mon
ey paid, and then for a trade. The baby
was shifted from shoulder, or sat down up
on the floor, to run into mischief, like a
sparkling globule of quicksilver on a mar
ble table, while calicoes were priced, sugar
and tea tasted, aid plates, “rung,” The
good wife look askance at a large mirror that
would be just tbe thing for the best room,
aud the roll of carpeting, of most becoming
pattern, but it won’t do, they must wait till
next year. Ah! there is music in those
next years, that Orchestras cannot make.
And'so they look, price aud purchase the
summer supplies, the husband eyeing the lit
tle roll of bank notes growing small by de
grees, and beautifully less. Then comes an
aside conference, particularly confidential.
She takes him affectionately by the button,
and looks up in his face—she has fine eyes
by tbe by—with an expression eloquent of
“do now—it will please them so.” And
what do you suppose they talk of? Toys
for the children? John wants a drum, and
Jane a doll, and Jenny a book, all pictures^
“jest like Susan so and so’s.” The father
looks nonsence, but feels in his pocket for
the required silver, and the mother Laving
gained, the point, hastens away, baby and
all, for tbe toys. There acts the mother
she had half promised, not all, that she
would bring lli^ni some thing, and she is
happy all the way home, not for the bargains
she made, but for the pleasant surprise in
those three brown parcels. And you ought
to have been there when she got home, when
the drum and the doll and the book were
produced—and thumbed and cradled and
thumbed, wasn’t it a great house?
Happiness is so cheap, what a wonder
there is no more in the world
Handsome Men.
That amiable lady, Fanny Fern, the fa
mous contributor to ibe Olive Branch,. lets
herself out after the following fashion, on
“Handsome Men.”
‘Mercy on us ! what a double and twist
ed fool I was to marry a handsome man I
He never tines a spare minute to adore mo
because he is all the time adoring himself.
I never could see the necessity of beauty in
a man. For a woman might as well ciTt
her throat and done with it ifshe isn’t pret
ty ; but if a man has a fine, well made fig
ure, one is a gentleman, in life manners,
that’s enough, provided he neither squints,
nor smokes, nor sweats; and knows enough
to hold an umbrella over a lady’s bonnet
without giving her all the drippings. (A
rare masculine accomplishment.)
“Now, my husband, Sam Jones, has
beauty enough for a dozen of men, .and
what’s more, he knows it. He spgntis one*-
half of his lime at the glass, and the other
half in making eyes at the women. Coukl’nt
I bo the death of him ? If we go out fo
walk, every,body says, what a handsome
fellow ! IIow came he’ to marry such a
dowdy little wife ! (That’s pleasant!) I
haven’t a eloset in the house that isn’t lim
bered up with his superfluous rattle-traps
Checked, striped and plaid pants, double
and single breasted vests, of every color
and shape; boots and pumps without limit;
smoking cap's, dressing gowns, revolving
shirts, with dickies plaid on one side, white
on the other, made for dress or traveling,
with accommodating bosoms to suit all e-
mergeneies; eau de Cologne, jockey club,
Macasser oil, curling tongs, scented shaving
soap, whisker dye, and a score more of fool
eries than I have neither time uor plaee to
mention.
t ‘I’m never sure what the man is about!
it takes me ail my time to look after him,
and then I get awfully humbugged; and
that puts me in mind to inquire privately;
about that ‘new club’ he has joined. Don’t
believe a word of it! Clubs don’t meet
every night in the week, Samivel l
“Next to clubs, I hate widows. They
are the very ! I’ve heard the heathen
call ‘benighted;’ they’ve sense enough to
burn widows when their husbands die—
Decisions upon the Liquor Law.—The
Supreme Court of Maine have decided that
the inhabitants of that State may keep li
quor in their houses for their own use, and
that liquor may be brought into and trans
ported within or through the State, if it be
not intended for sale. The amount of the
decision seems to be, that the Legislature
may prohibit the sale, or keeping, or offer
ing for sale, of liquor, but cannot prohibit
its use. This decision makes the law anal-
agous to the laws concerning other poisons.
Only licensed druggists and apothecaries
can sell arsenic. These can only sell it un
der certain regulations, and others cannot
sell it at all. But the law does not prohib
it the use. Hence any body may use ar
senic in any act, and it is much used in pi e-
paring the skins of animals and birds for
stuffing. And anybody may take it, even
with the felonious intent of suicide, without
incurring any penalty. Hence if one should
take arsenic or other poison with such in
tent, and should be saved from death, no
prosecution for taking the poison could be
sustained.
A queer looking customer inserted bis
head into an auction store and looking
gravely at the “knight of the hammer,” in
quired :
“Can I bid, sir
“Certainly,” replied the auctioneer, “you
can bid.”
“Well then,” said the wag, walking off,
“I bid you gook night.”;
At a very excellent hotel, not a hundred
miles from our parts, they were one day
short of a waiter, when a newly arrived Hi
bernian was hastily made to supply the place
of a more expert hand.
“Now, Barney,” said mine host, “mind
you serve every man with soup, anyhow.”
“Be dad, I’ll do that same,” said the alert
Barney. Soup came on the start, and Bar
ney, after .helping all but one guest, came
upon the last one.
“Soup, sir?” said Barney.
“No soup for me,” said the gent.
“But you must have it,” said Barney; “it
is the rules of the house.”
“Damn the Louse,” exclaimed the guest/
highly exasperated: “when I don’t want
soup I won’t eat it, get along with you.”
“Well,” said Barney, with solemnity, “all
I can say is jest this; it’s the regulations of
the house, and damn the drop else you’ll
get till ye finish the soup!”
The traveller gave in, and the soup was
gobbled.
and that’s a step further in civilization than
we’ve taken. There’s nothing like r qm. If
they make up their minds to marry a man,
it’s done. I know one that was terribly a*
fraid of thunder and lightning, and every
time a storm came up, she would run into
Mr. Smith’s bouse, (he was a wido-\vef,)and
clasp her little hands, and fiy aromTd till
the man was half distracted- for fqar she
would get killed; and the consequence was,
she was Mrs. John Smith before three
storms had rattled over her) head. Wasn’t
that diplomatic ?
“Then there’s that little blue-eyed Wid
ow Wilkins. Didn’t she drop her prayer
book coming out of ckurqji, for my hand
some hesbandto pick up ? And didn't J
see him squeeze her hand when he banddff
it back to her? And when I told him a
long rigmarole of a story ; going Lome, to
divert his mind from the little minx# didn’t
he answer ‘yes’ ‘no,' ft random, and
laugh in the wrong place ? And didn’t he
the next morning pttt salt in his coffee, and
sugar on his beefsteak f
‘.‘And won’t she be Samivel Jones, No'3?
Answer me that! I should like to oft her
up Into rneh pieties with dull jack-knife.
“But it’s no use to struggle against fate.
I shall have to put my pride in my pockfet
and tell Samivel it is my request that lie
should marry her when I am gone, and*
that will ‘pull wool’ over people’s eyes and
save his credit^ for he’ll have her if an earth
quake should be tbe consequence.
—“It’s astonishing widows will be so indel-i
ieate as to doff their weeds. Its nothing
more nor less than a walking advertisement
for another husband. Mrs. Lee was spen
ding a short time at the sea shore, in her
new regimentals, when one of the ladies at
the tea-table, struck with a sudden thought
said, very innocently—‘By the way, Mrs.
Lee, where is your husband?’ I should
havejvery sorry to have told where I thought
he was, for the way he used to swear when
he talked, was awful to mention !
“Now, what a glorious example I’d be
to the sex, if Providence should see fit to
make me a widow! I wonder if Samivel
will pop off? I should hate to put my curls
behind my ears, but I’d do it, and I wouldn’t
so much as look at a man unless it was Tom
Cing. Wonder if he’d marry me ? Well!
there now! I have spoken in meeting! It
can’t be helped now, as Deacon Smith said,
when his daughter surprised him kissing
Winnw MnArn nQ'fnp Rallir • no.
Widow Moore—‘It’s natur, Sally ; it’s na-
tur.’
On Dit.—That'the marriage of Edwin
Forrest with a beautiful lady from tbe high
circles of Philadelphia, will shortly take
place.
Anjjxehange paper says, the most digni
fied, glorious and. lovely work of nature is
woman, the next is man, then Berkshire
pigs. '
An Irishman's Joke.—A shoemaker with
one eye who works in this neighborhood
complained the other evening that one of
his lamps did not burn. One of his shop-
mates, who is a genuine son of the Emerald
Isle with astonishment exclaimed: “Faith,
and what do you want of two lamps, ye
hav’nt bat one eye,”
Never lay a stumbling block in the way
of a man who is trying to advance himself
jn the world honestly and uprightly, for he
is likely to walk over and laugh at" you af
terwards.
A Yankee chap speaking of his sweet
heart says, “Her hail - is of rich dark brown
Cireuleon is her eye, her cheeks are soft as
cygnet’s down; uu -»-**>•-«• ,,
- ■■■ - —
Why is a woman’s tongue like a
Because nothingihort of the po
created can 1 ‘ r ‘