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1 THE PIGEONS WON. In Spite of Clipped Wings They Got Back on Time. The colonel was something of a pigeon fancier mill had so much run- tidence In a certain strain of homers lie was making a bobby of that when iiis friend the ur.ijor proposed a wager the colonel removed the limit. ••We’ll make it a suppii.h,” said the major “Vo' hlaek boy will tote a palah «>vuh to tlio cyahs an' ship them to St. Loua.v, wbaah they all to lie noniiraieu «>u nbrlval. 1 wagah they all not back in two days, sail." The colonel accepted, crated his fin est pair and Included a note to the ex press agent with the Charges. Mean- vhile the major communed with Joe, the colored boy, and after the tender ing of a certain half dollar and prom ises of Immunity from the conse quences of the colonel’s wrath Inter Joe agreed to clip the pigeons’ wings •mb rosa. Two days passed, ami the major pre sented lilinself duly at the colonel's. The colonel eyed him with suspicious narrowness. “Have they thrived?” asked the ma jor gnyly. “They hev, snh,” said the colonel, with dignity; "they hev, but those two pidgins, sail, her the so’est feet 1 evah •nw ou a bird, sub."—Browning's Mag azine. BE SURE YOU’RE RIGHT. Then Take a Long Think and Mind Your Own Business. The other day n man traveling on o shore line train noticed, protruding from an overhead rack, n dress suit case which he recognized as belonging to a friend. He knew that his friend always got off at the station which (hey bud Just passed, and as he was not in the seat the conclusion was In evitable that he had jumped off the train and forgotten it. The man called the conductor and explained the case to him. After some discussion and a mild protest on the part of the conductor that It wasn't a pnrt of ills duty, the suit case was put tiff nt the next station, with instruc tions to send It hack on the first train the other way. The man, feeling Hint he had done »n able and friendly act, settled down lor the rest of his Journey. But not for long. The fnco of Ills friend, who had been In the smoker and who happened on that particular afternoon to be going on to New Lou don to attend a dinner party—loomed before him. The moral of this Is, of course, quite evident Be sure you’re right and then mind your own business.—Life. A TEMPERANCE UNION. BEETHOVEN. Members Limited to Fourteen Drinks cf Liquor Daily. “Signing the pledge" is no new thing, as is proved by researches In Italy. Interesting particulars of what would appear to be the earliest examples of written pledges to abstain from gam bling and excessive drinking are given In the Turin Sunil Medieval! by Signor Girolamo Discsro, who has discovered three such documents in the of Milan. The ttrst of these reouua la an oath sworn on the gospels by Gia como I'asquall and Armunlno Duea to the effect that for two years they will abstain from gambling In I’avla or within three miles thereof and will likewise refrain from Inducing others to gamble on their behalf. The penal ly for any breach of tills oath is fixed at r» i.nldl, payable to i’nplo Bovatorlo. In the second document I’eruno do Bono promises Uberto de Proto to abstain from gambling for a certnin period, exception being made on lie- half of the game of blsmentiro, fit which, however, lie was not to lose more than 2 denari on any one day. Further, he undertakes not to visit any inn for drinking purposes before the hour of vespers on Monday. A breach of either clause of the pledge Involves the payment of 5 soldi to De Proto. By the third document Slleto Ferrarlo expressed his willingness to pay 12 denari to his brother Lotnperlo should he be persuaded to play for money In any place of public resort or to spend more than 2 denari on Intoxi cants In any one day. The motive for these contracts Is uot stated, but It Is presumed that they were entered into by employees whose masters wished to keep their proclivi ties In check. There is nothing In the documents to suggest the existence of any organization for the promotion of temperance. The honor of being first In the field in this respdet therefore still rests with Germany, where two temperance societies were founded in the sixteenth century. Of these the Order of St. Christo pher was formed by Siglsmnnd de Dlettrlcbstein on Jan. IS. 1*17. and the Order of Temperance by the landgrave of Hesse on Dec. 25, lfiOO. The mem bers of the one order were pledged to abstain from tonst drinking, and Gie members of the other undertook not to drink more than seven glasses of liquor at a time, and that not oftener than twice a day.—Chicago News. Tha Compoaer’s Own Stcry of How Ha Be came Deaf. Charles Noate. on n visit to Vienna, was either commissioned by certain Engksti authorities to induce Beethoven to visit England or was persuading him to do so on bis own account, and ns an allurement lie spoke of the su periority of the English nurlsts in their treatment of oar disease and held out archives | hopes that were Beethoveu to consult ♦bom ho might at least find some sort of relief. Beethoven shook his head. “No,” he said, "I have eonsulted all kinds of doctors and followed their prescriptions. I shall never be cured. I will tell you how the thing happened. “I was writing nn opera. I had to deal with a very tiresome and capri cious tenor. I had already written two gront arias to the same words, neither of which plensed him. and nlso a third, which he did not core for the first time he tried It. although he took It away with him. I was thanking heaven I had done with him and had begun to settle myself to something else which I had laid aside. 1 had hardly worked at It half an hour before I beard a knock nt the door, which I recognized as that of my tenor. “I sprang up from my table In such a rage that us the man came Into the room I flung myself upon the floor, ns they do on the stage" (here he threw up his arms and gesticulated In Illus tration), "but 1 fell upon my bands When I got up I found I was deaf, and from that moment 1 have remain ed so. The doctor said I Injured the nerve.”—Diehl’s "Life of Beethoven." TRY GRAFT IN RUSSIA. A PARISIAN RUSE. Overboard. “Overboard" Is engraved ou n metal label fastened to many urtieles of para phernalia seen about the decks of a modern war vessel. It means that the article so marked should be thrown overboard whenever action with an enemy’s ship becomes imminent. Al cohol chests, turpentine tanks, paints, ■pare spars, unnecessary hatches and other articles eusily destroyed or splin tered by shell tire are thus labeled. The president of Occident college, Cal ifornia, Is said to have given the word a new meaning In civil life when he used It to Indicate those who are unlit, useless or inapt In the struggle of life. It Is a strong word and as such can be appropriately applied to men and Ihlngs which when a ship must go to battle are not necessary or material to the end desired.—Army and Navy Life. Her Own Doctor. A Washington woman recently hired a negress. Going to the kitchen one day, she was amazed to find the De gress sitting on the floor, with her tiuir standing out from her head like « black nimbus. The girl was pull- tog one curly lock and then another in ouch a way as to suggest that she had suddenly lost her reason. “What on earth are you doing, Mary?” gasped the lady of the bouse. “Nawthln", ma’am; only 1 has got a ■ore throat an’ was Jest tryiu’ to und de lock dat would pull mah palate up au’ relieve de tickle.’’—New York Her ald. The Fickle Shopper. “That wornau always keeps me guessing,” said the grocery clerk as she went out. “1 never can tell till Ibe last minute whut she Is going to buy. Just now she priced the coffee. I gave her the prices—25 cents, 28, 30, 35, 40. “ ‘Is your twenty-five cent coffee any good?* she asked me. “‘Yes,’ said I; ‘bang up.’ “ Then,’ said she. ‘give me a pound of your forty cent, grouud fine/"— New York Press. The Dressmaker’s Lure That Ensnared the Americans. Grace Margaret Gould tells In the September Woman’s Home Companion some of the -ways the Parisian dress making establishments sell their goods to American women. Here Is one ruse that she saw worked In one of the big gest establishments In Paris: There was a sudden and e\ ident commotion among the employees. "The princess! The princess! She has arrived!" they cried. American eyes began to bulge. Out from a magnificent equipage stepped a regally gowned grand lady, attended by footmen and maid and re ceived by the whole bowing estab lishment. to the neglect of all other customers. She was In a gracious mood this day and easy to be pleased, praising their past efforts and select ing, several of their new creations with out regard to cost. After she had made her departure amid like cere monies there was no need of the sales woman bothering her head over sug gestions. Every American woman present wanted a gown copied from the one the princess had bought, and she got it after much pleading and at a price far beyond the limit she had set. And the point of this fable Is this: The princess was no prluceKs, but an employee of the house. Every French gown has two prices— au American price and a French price. It Is needless to say which is the greater price. Along about April the cry goes up. “The Americans are coming!’’ and then the prices go up too. Along about November, when the Americans have left, yon might almost say they are giving away gowns, only the Frenchman never does giveaway anything. Then It Is that the French woman in general and the French actress In particular selects her ward robe. Removing the Difficulties In an Army Officer’s Transfer. A young Russian officer wished to be transferred to another regiment and took his request In person to one of the lights of the Russian geuerul stuff. That powerful officer shook his head and declared the matter very difficult to arrange—almost impossible. Then Ills glance fell suddenly upon the shoes of the lieutenant. To the amazement of his visitor, the senior officer said that the lieutenant’s shoes were not nearly good enough for an officer and that he would strongly advise him to buy new shoes of a shoemaker whose address he gave. Then, telling his vis itor to return in eight days, he dis missed him. The latter was clever enough to realize that he could uot re turn without the new shoes, so he hur ried to the shoemaker. On hearing who had sent him the shoemaker said that the lieutenant could have the shoes In five days for the sum of $250. Much astonished, the officer went to a comrade for advice. He was told to pay half of this sum at once and the rest when his shoes were finished. This the officer did. and. wearing his new boots, he duly kept his appoint ment with the general staff officer and learned to his Joy that all the “grave difficulties” In the way of his transfer had been successfully removed. FOR COMMERCIAL [ JOB PRINTING I Hi* Hobby. One man with an odd hobby Isn’t a person who gets much mall, and what he has or expects to have he can keep in mind very easily. Probably be uever had a letter which went astray. Yet every time he sees In the news papers the list of advertised mull sent out from time to time by the general postofflee In New York he turns nt once to the initial letter under which Ills name comes nud runs carefully through the list. He never yet has found any letter that might be sup posed to be for him and. furthermore, hasn’t found any that might he for any of his relatives. He takes an odd pleasure In doing It, however, something with that eager ness which Impels a man to grub through a packet of old letters In hopes that he may come upon some rare variety of stamp. Really, If ever he found his name In the list It proba bly would kill bis enjoyment of the hunt forever thereafter.—New York Sun. Probably Not. <**I hate to be poor. Now, a million aire can walk right In and order what he wants without bothering about the price.” “He can,” stated the weary sales man, ‘‘but he seldom does.”—Kansas City JournaL Every Morning. Paul, at the age of four, was asked one morning by his papa, “What is the name of the first meal of the day?” “Oatmeal,” responded little Paul promptly.—Exchange. An Enigma. Tommy—Say, papa, I wish you would tell me something. Papa—Well, what Is it? Tommy—When you were a little boy, who was my fapa?—Chisago News. The Bad Spot, | Au Irishman one day was told to put up a signboard on which were the words, “To Motorists—This Hill Is Dangerous.” Away went Mike with the signboard and placed It at the bottom of a very steep bill. A few days later bis em ployer went to see how the board was put up and, finding it at the bottom of the hill, sought and found Mike. "You blooming fool!” he cried. “Why didn’t you put that sign in the right place?” “Sbure and ain’t it?” asked Mika. “Don’t all the accidents happen at the bottom?”—Harper’s Weekly. Crazy to Expect It. Hardnppe—Say, old fellow, lend me a hundred, will you? Itlgga—A hundred what? Hardnppe—A hundred dollars. I— Riggs—Oh, stop your joking. Harduppe (earnestly)—Joking? I was never more serious In my life. I’m broke. Riggs—My dear man, you’re rot broke; you’re cracked’,— Catholic Standard and Times. Anticipated Cauie For Sorrow. Ina came In from the country on her fifth birthday to visit her cousin May. At night they were put to bed early. An hour passed, when heartbreaking sobs were beard from the cbildren’a bedroom. “What Is the matter, children?” ask ed May’s mother, entering the dark room. “From under the bedclothes lna sob bed out, “May won’t give me any of her peanuts.” ‘But May has no peanuts,” replied her aunt. “I know that,” sobbed lea, “but she Mid if she did have peanuts she wouldn't give me any.”—Delineator. Sufficiently Occupied. A story la told of a colonel In Gen era! Lee’s division In the late civil war who sometimes ( 1ndulged In more apple jack than was good for him. Passing him one evening leaning against a tree, the general said: “Good evening, coloneL Come over to my tent for u moment, please.” “S-a-cuse me, g-g-en’ral, s-s-cuse me,” replied the colonel. “It's 'bout all I can do to stay where I am.”—Phila delphia Ledger. Some men are rich ’enough to afford every luxury, except a clear conselence. —Philadelphia Record. Not Designed For Lovers. He—I am sure Cupid had nothing to do with the alphabet. She — What gives you that impression? He—If he. had been doing It be would have placed U and I much nearer each other.—St Louis Republic. The Right Foot Foremost. Putting the right foot foremost wns an old Roman ordination originally regulating the entry of persons into a ftouse or other building and based apon the supposition that the left was un lucky. A boy was kept at the doer to see that no one entered the house "left foot first.” The phrase quoted Is thus seen to be very antique. We have a choice I N line of Stationery and the Finest Job Printing Establish ment in this part of Georgia. Mail Orders Will Receive \ Prompt Attention, Herald Publishing Co. It Is the wise head that makes the still tongue.—Lucas.