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THE TIMES.
-t* !
^aSSK&XSSK.''
Foblilhod eery Saturday Morning.
Christian & Triplett, Proprietors.
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VERTISI.S'J.
Slieriir* sales, tier levy 8
“ Mortgage Ki Fa sales |»er square,.-...
Cilalions lor letters of Administration,
" " •* Ouardianshlp—.—
Application for Dismission from Admin- I
utration - - t
Application for Dismission from Guardi- |
Application for leave to sell Land......
Hales of Land, per square
Hales of Pcrislmble property, i«r square.....
Notices to Debtors and Creditors -
Foreclosure ol Mortgage. t»er square
K.trsy Notices. 30 «Uy*.
application for llomcsti
Administrator*, Ext
.ill sales of land by Ai
or Guardians, are required by 1:
the first Tuesday In tho toon
hours of ten o’clock li
in tire afternoon, at tl
the property is situ ah
must be given in » pu
vious to the day of sale.
8ale of Personal Property :-Noticcs .
the sale of | ersonal projwrty must lw giveu i
least ten days previous to the <lay of sale.
Estate Debtors and Creditor*Noth
to Debtots and < Yedltors of an estate must t
published (brty days.
Court of Ordinary Leave to Sell
YOL. 1.
THOMASVILLE, GA., SATURDAY, MAY 17,1873.
NO. 9.
No-
published
joVifl be mailt
Ordinary lor leave to sell Lands,
Halted once a week for four weeks.
Administrators and GuardianshipCi
tation* for Letter* of Administration t
published thirty days ; lor Dismission fr<
ministration, monthly for thioeiuonths-
mlssbni from Guardianship, 40 days.
Foreclosure of Mortgage:—Rules for
Fureek»ure ot Mortgage must * “ *
monthly for four worn h«
Establishing
talillshing Lost Ft
full term of three
For compelling titles from I
bond lias l*een given by the <J<
iq>ace of three months.
Application for Homestead n
Publications will always he c
lug to these, tho legal rvqulKiu
ci wise ordered.
fcjr County Officer’* Illaiiks
ptr quire of 24 slieeti
>1 thrulsbeU at $1.50
OUR
Department.
Having supplied jnvsclvcs with new
lacleJolPresses
Latest and Most Improved Patterns
Wc arc now prepared to exc
noon mtvivk
A HD XT AS
LOTT THK KH
ns can be had iu (lie State,
JOB WORK
OF ALL KINDS,
UUI Heads,
Circurlars,
Invitation Cards,
Visiting Cards,
Legal Blanks,
and every other description of Job Work.
isfaction to all who favor ns
with their patronage.
Patronize your Homo Enter
prises, and dont Bend off for Job
Work, bring it to the Times
Job 0rnc&
Professional <£arbs.
CHAS. P. HANSELL,
Attorney at Law,
Thomasville, : - G“-
Office up stairs In McIntyre’s bulMing, Jack-
son Street. mat 2l-ly.
»»
H. W. UoFKixft. T. N. Hopkins. gl
oo
HOPKINS & HOPKINS, °°
pr
Attorneya at Ijaw, t ),
Jackson Street, se
Thomasville, : : Georgia. j„
Special attention civen to collect Ion. orclaim, an
against the U. .V. Government. Obtaining Land ....
warrants, bounty claims, Pensions, Sc.
mar 21-ly fa
JOSEPH P. SMITH. “
Attorney at Law, dr
Comer Dread awl Jackson Streets, *"°
W
THOMASVXWLE, OA-
n.« 21-1,1 ov
W. D. MITCHELL. R.G. MITCHELL. ev
MITCHELL & MITCHELL, tr
Attorneys at Law. pe
TIIOTIASVII.I.E, . OA. to
mar 21-1, *•!
w
of
•1. R. Alexander, i a
Attorney at Law,
THOMASVH.LE, GKA- f a
mar 21-ly , )r
W. M. HAMMOND. E, T. DAVIS. 11
HAMMOND & DAVIS, n n
ATTORNEYS A.T LAW. in
-AND- “
d
COLLECTORS OF CLAIMS,
THOMASVILLE, S. W. GEORGIA. c .
mar 21..,.-
•lames L. Seward,
Attorney at Law, 1
THOMASVILLE, - - GA. „
mar 21-ly y
K. T. MacLEAN, \
Attorney f c
—AND— 1
Counselor at, I ,aw, *
THOMASVILLE, GA. ■
OFFICE—Up Stairs Over Dreyer k. IsaacV. J
mar 21-1,. c
DR. D. S. BRASDOS ?
THOMASVILLE GA. i
* 0 C
Office—Back room Evans’ Building, i
mar 21-ly
A. P. TAYLOR, M. I).,
Tfieixiasvitle, : : Ga. [
o a
OFFICE—Front room over Stark’s c
Confectionary. t
mar 2.-., . .
DR. JNO. H. COYLE,
RESIBEHT BE&TIST, ;
THOMASVILLE, OA. i
* Office, Comer Jackson am! Droad Sts,
mar 2t- , y.
sX-sr-A.iT3srA.ia:.
J A. P. ABARtS,
Attorney at Isaw.
Savannah, Ga.
Bay Street, over '’Morning News”
8 Office.
Keft-rt to Hon. A. T Afa.-Int.vro, Jmlfo A. II.
I!an*<-I!and Cant. John Triplett.
II. J. ROYAL,
SURGEOK DENTIST,
^ 12!) 1-2 Congress Street, Opposite
Fulaski House.
Savannah, . - Ga*
inar 21-ly.
R. E. LESTER,
Attorney at Law,
SANANNAU, GA.
mar 21-ly.
Henry B. Tompkins,
Atteeney at Law,
BAY STREET, SAVANNAH; GA,
Practice in United Suites Chart* and all State
Courts.
liefer to Capt. Win, M. Hammond, Col. A, P.
t3, Wright.
mar 21-ly.
0. A. IIOWELL, B. A. DENMARK.
u Howell & Denmark,
attomcBS at Caw,
*5 SAVANNAH, G-JX.
1—ri
Prompt attention given to all business en
trusted to their care.
Refer by permission, to Messrs. Groover,
• Stul.bs. & Co., ami It. B. Reppanl. Savannah,
IS Hon. A. II. Hanscll, J. L Seward and Capt.
John Triplett, 1 Lomasville, Ca.
iy mar 21-ly
LETTER FROM ATLANTA.
Atlanta, Ga., May 0th, 1873.
die receipt of the Times this morn-
reminded ine of my promise to
itching for Spring
rarm days—but so
vain. Winter “lin-„
i cool, chilly, wintry
a not funny at all
I see some of your low-country pa-
1 bill” in these parts, it
s complete a failure as sonic
Atlanta still builds. Notwithstaud-
:t that our economical city
nt continues. Vacant lots are seil-
at almost fabulous prices, and
A few lots belonging to the city, lo-
Notwithstanding tho unpropllious,
lie nics, celebrations, n
calculating on the
iply mention this to show
Arm hold the temporal
>n this people. When
linen breeches on can
on a raw, chilly day by
n” the eloquence ol tem-
iturers, I reckon you might
Yesterday was the anniversary of
lie tiro department, and a big day
ritli the iircmcn. Six companies
rcre in the procession—four of them
aviog splendid steam engines. With
heir stylish uniforms, Hying banners,
nd shining, flower-bedecked ma-
hines, drawn by magnificent horses,
liey presented a view worth bcliohL
ag. Atlanta boasts one of the most
borough and completely equipped
re departments in the South. Last
light they had an opportunity ot test-
: their working capacity, a block of
oden buildings ou Peachtree street
The rearguard ot Georgia Radical-
material which
For Everybody to Read.
“A Kiugston youth has frozen his
nose seven times this winter pacing in
front of his sweetheart’s home, waiting
for the “other fellow to leave.”
We know a fellow that paced away
from his ' sweetheart’s house, a few
;hts since, in anything but a freez
ing stale. He says, “.the remarkable
precision with which tho old lady bal
ances a skillet of scalding water,would
credit to the Japs.*’
A wife of nearly ten years, having
given her servant a holiday, w*as at
tending to culinary matteis herself,
and hearing her husband comiug in
ihe kitchen, thought she would sur
prise him as soon as ho entered the
door, by throwing her hand over his
eyes aud imprinting a kiss on his brow
as in the days of the honeymoon.—
The husband returned the salute with
interest, and asked, as he disengaged
her hands, “Mary darling,' -where is
your mistress ?” The wife discharged
“Maty, darling ” the next day, and lias
adopted a new plan of “surprising” her
husband.”
He says that he knew it was Jane
all the time, and only wanted to see
what she would do. lie found out.—
He now tells his friends that ho got
frightened at something, and scratched
his face running through the bushes.
The Weldon News says: “Mr. J. T.
Brinkley tells of a remarkable freak of
nature in the case of a negro
Williamstou, N. C., who has a horn
growing out of his forehead just be
tween the eyes. It grows very rapidly
and, until recently, he has kept it cut
off, but lie is growing it now with the
of presenting himself to Barnum.
The Doctors have examined it, but
:annot account for it in any way.”
It we had that fellow and an honest
politician caged, we would realize a
haudsome sum by exhibiting them.
Mr. Henry Watterson, editor of
the Louisville Courier-Journal, is tc
sail, May 14lh, for a six months’ Eu
ropean tour.”
We propose to go on a tour to the
Ochloekonce, during the latter part of
May*, and spend about six hours
pulling up and down the banks of that
classic stream, with a bucket of bait in
ouc baud aud a Ashing rod in the oth
er. We hope that Wattersou will not
be envious.
A. D. SMITH. W. C. BEERS
- SMITH & BEEKS,
Attorneys at I.aw,
Corner Bay and Ball Streets,
Savannah, . • Ca.
lM* to A. H. Audi, Mitchell nd WkML
• ft* r
i tl-tj.
And then to make a clcau sweep of
ic miserable party, a thorough demo*
rat has bought the press on which
cruggs’ Whig was printed, and car
ed it to the monntaius lor the future
lissciuination of unadulterated Dem-
So, here’s a long, ylud fare
well to radicalism iu the Empire State
of the South.
The newspaper business in Atlanta
now up to aud in keeping with the
tint manifested in other branches ol
business. The Herald, started last
Summer, is a complete success—one
of the livest newspapers iu the South.
My good friends of the Constitution
have now learned what Atlanta de
mands in the way of newspapers, and
that most excellent paper is as g<*od
as can be found in Dixie. The Sun,
also, has made a loug leap forward,
aud is now a good live paper. I am
proud of our city press.
Governor Smith takes his meal:
coolly as if nobody had said he was a
“brute,” for allowing the law to take
its course in the case of Miss Ebor*
hari, who was hung for murder in
Webster county last Friday. The
idea of hanging a woman is terrible
to contemplate, and while, in the ab
stract, I abhor it, I must say, that upon
thoroughly understanding this case,
the action of Governor Smith has
raised him in mj estimation, as a con
scientious Executive OAlcer. Although
not originally a Smith man, I am
satisfied that an unbiassed invest
lion of this case, will cause any fair
minded man to agree with me that
Gov. Smith could not, as an honorable
man, under oath, have acted different*
ly in the premises.
Allow me to congratulate you upon
the success of your paper. I am not
surprised at the popularity of au at*
tractive, sprightly paper like the
Times. More anou.
“Thomas Loug and Hannah Short
were lately married in Virginia. The
notice in the local paper adds, ‘No
card-*, no whiskey.* ”
Short was lengthened into long—
that’s the loug aud short of it—ahem l
“Mrs. Gubbins says her husband is
like a tallow candle,*because he always
will smoke when he is going out.”
Wc know of some who are made to
smoke when they get back. A good
healthy caudle lecture at 3 o'clock A.
M., is apt to heat up man's proud soar
ing spirit.
“Wc learn, says tlic Nashville Un
ion and American, from a reliable
source that twenty-three granges in
Charlton county, Kansas, have 2,700,-
000 bushels of corn for sale. Farmers
are still burning this grain for fuel.”
Give us aud the western producer’s
groat International Canal, and the
two sections will not only be mutually
bencllttcd and their interests become
uidetitified. but the young giant West
and the South, risen from her ashes,
will again rule the desliuics of this
mighty nation.
Our Old bachelors arc rejoicing over
the advent ofbuttons that can be p.ut
i with a screw driver.—Ex.
We tried this new dodge the other
morning. The doctor says, “he thinks
the nail will grow on again.” Wc at
tend .Sunday School and, occasionally,
go to prayer-meetings; but there are
occasional episodes in one’s life when
ordinary “tract” language does not
cover the case, aud this was one of
them.
A fashionable young lady dropped
oue of her false eyebrows in a church
pew, aud badly frightened a youn
man next to her, who thought it w:i
his moustache.—Ex.
A young lady iu the next pew clc-
ated her eyebrows, whilst the vonnj
gent sitting next to her lowered his
>tache.
7 his is the latest poetical contribu
tion :
Young man, spare that raisirg bustle
Touch not a single “pape;”
That woman’s had an awlul tustlc
To get herself iu shape.
The fellow that perpetrated the
above has brain lever, superinduced
by mental exertion.
“A reporter of the Poughkeepsie
Eagle, interviewed a winter menage-
and left most of his trowsers
against the bars of the cage occupied
by a hyena.*'
We heard of a chap not long since
that went to interview his intended
father-in-law. A bull dog with a well
developed set of molars, escorted him
to the front gate, retaining ns a
menlo ot the affair about a half yard
of the goods. lie now says that he
always did prefer to stand up, most of
the time.
A square oath now and then re
lieves the monotony of the passengers,
who have lo lay over at Live Oak
several hours, on account of the dis
agreement of tho Railroads. These
prolane passengers will injure the
morals of tbat town.
Keep, of the Live Oak Times, wants
some one to keep him from having to
take the people’s line to Suwaunec, by
starting an ox-carl express.
The idea of a country editor putting
on ->uch airs as to demand a convey
ance to go only a few miles. Some
kind ofjudgmcut will be be visited on
some of these fellows if they don’t
mind. Just tea what Harris has come
to.
The Suwannee .Spring* are being
put in order, for the accommodation
of guesU.
If a farmer happens to leave bis
mule standing in Live Oak, and slept
iu just to take a drink, the animal
takes advantage of the thirsty owner
and proceeds to git. He was traced,
t Vt ** 4 • '♦ffl
however, by the spokes and other frag
ments of the cart. T he irate owner
swore the bark from off several black
jacks standing around where he found
the last piece.
“The postmaster of Lynchburg, Va.
bad his name inscribed on a monu
ment in Illinois erected to the memo
ry of those killed in the war.”
We don’t suppose that the good peo
ple of Lynchburg would care,it he was
about six feet beneath the base of tbat
monument.
John Chinaman is trying his hand
at working iu single harness, ou the
Pacific slope. Cause—epizooty.
Is Train Crazy ?—A correspond
ent, signing himselt Minneapolis,
writes to the New York Sun, that if he
were put out on the stand as a witness
in the inquiry whether George Fran
cis Train is sane or crazy, he would
declare on the Evangelists: 1 believe
him to be a sounder minded man
than there is in the entire Republican
party.
What reason have you for saying
that sir? the District Attorney would
ask, with nose derisively high in the
air.
My reason is Train’s perfectly cor
rect estimate of the calibre and value
of Gen. Grant and Schuyler Collajt.
expressed by him two years ago iu a
lecture in St. Paul. He said that he
never met Grant tbat he did not feel
au impulse to run up to hiut and say ;
My dear GcLcral, I have only a min
ute aad a half to spare, but I want you
to leK me all you know. Of the dis
credited MobUier he said that he turn
ed more machinery and made more
uoise with a small engine than any
man in the world had done ; and that
he was the only grown up male citi
zen of the United States who could di
vide a lump of dough with perfect ea
siness between a hundred chickens.
The Jury that would not pronounce
Train sane on the above testimony,
should be sent to an asylum themselves.
Notwithstanding the fact that the gieat
smoker; “is apt to impress his mark
upon the history oj the times in ichich hi
lives.” We think George Francis
Train’s estimate of Grant a good one.
Men like to bcc themselves in print;
women like to see themselves in a look-
glass.
Wc desire it understand that wc did,
not perpetrate the above. It was dip
ped. Wc highly disapprove of it—i
pccially the first clause.
Air. Janies Smith, an Australian
journalist, has received a spiritual
communication that the world is to b
burned a9 black as a forgotten toasi
by a wave of lire” in less than
;ar.—Ex.
Now Smith wli^ts the use of ha
rowing up a fcliows feelings, about
this little Conflagration. There is oue
consolation: your family will be the
reatest sufferers.
The “Jeffersonian” published
Franklin Indiana, gravely traces the
Epizootic, to the ponies of tho Picgau
Indians.
Lake City bases her claims to dis
tinction on having a “Dolly VarJen
Thcspean Corps.”
The exhibitor of tho “best
patched pants” will receive a prize at
the coming Tompkins fair iu
York.
If some country Editor don’t
that premium there will bo some
swindling going ou.
A Massachusetts woman appeared
at the shop where her husband i» em
ployed a short time ago, and apolo
getically said: “Jim is not well. xr ~“
must excuse lr.nt from coming tc
to-day. lie and 1 bad a little difficul
ty at the breakfa«t table this inoruin .
and he won’t he aide to work this
week.”
Jes so—Bui wc don’t know how it is
ourselves.
A divorce cannot be obtained in Ja
pan, even it the husband has
li air left on his head.—Ex.
Sad fact that a man can't quit, after
he has surrendered alt his capillary
substance.
Ex. Senator Nyc of Nevada, was
recently airickcn with paralysis.
Wonder if he was ever Conscience
Stricken. The public will be pained
to learn that he is recovering. Wc
have one consolation, he was Nyc unto
leath.
One of the teachers in Mr. Spur
geon’s Sunday School lias nine hun
dred women enrolled in her class.
The average attendance every Sunday
afternoon is five hundred.—Ex.
Our deepest sympathies are enlisted
for that unfortunate teacher. She
will doubtless grow deaf from the in
cessant clatter, but loss of bearing will
be some comfort.
A scientific pleasure party called
La Caravans Cmcerselle. is proposed
in France. Its;object b the ciieurn-
uavigation of the globe aud a grand
exploration of tbe five parts of the
earth. It is to he under the gaidancc
M. le Cantame Bazeiqur, who has al
ready been twice around tbe globe.
Our engagements as stated else
where on the Ocblockonce, will pre
vent us joining the party. They will
doubtless be disappointed, but we can’t
help it.
The editor of a Journal offered to
send his girl the paper regularly, but
she replied in sweet innocence, that
her ’ma didn’t allow her to wear era.’
The poor girl only knew ouc use for a
paper.—Ex.
That girl was not up with the Times.
The Stockholders of the Monticello
and Georgia Rail Road met on the 2d.
insL. and elected S. Pasco Pres’t and
and A. B. Grunwe'l see. Thty are
going to build the Road to Thomas-
ville; so they say. Come along with
it gentlemen we have no objection*.
The annual sale of the J.P.4M.
Road will take place on the 7th of
July. Almost any body can buy it
Hereafter the editor of the "‘Griffin
News, will not take any boxes out ot
the Express office, unless the charges
are prepaid. ' ‘
According to A. H.Stephens, Espy an
eccentric Pennsylvania schxat roaster,
is tbe paternal ancestor of old Proba
bilities.
Selected for tbs Ttto—svflU Tikes.
JACK HORNER.
“Little Jack Horner
Sat in a corner
Eating a Christinas Pie:
He put in his thumb.
And pulled out a plum.
And said, “What a great boy am I!”
Ah, the world hath many a Homer,
Who, seated in his comer,
Finds a Christmas Pie provided for
his thumb:
And cries out with exultation,
When successful exploration
Doth discover the predestinated plnra!
Little Jack outgrows his tire,
And tccometh John Esquire;
And he finds a monstrous pasty ready
made,
Stuffed with notes, bonds and bales.
With invoices and sales.
And mixed with all the ingredients of
Trxde.
And again it is his luck
To be just in time to pluck,
By a clever “operation,” from the pic
An unexpected “plum;”
So he glorifies his thumb,
And says, proudly, “What a mighty
man am I!”
Or perchance, to science turaiug,
Aud with weary labor learning
All the formulas aud phrase* that op
press her,—
For the Iruit ot others’ bakinj
So a fresh diploma taking.
Comes he forth, a full accredited Pro-
lessor!
Or he’s not too nice to mix
In the dish of politics;
And thediguity of office he puts on:
Aud he feels as big agaiu
as a dozen nobler men.
While he writes himself tbe Honorable
Johu!
Nay, he need not quite despair
Of the Presidential Chair:
The tiling is not unlikely to be done;
Since a party puppet now
May wear boldly on its brow
The glory that a Webster never won!
Not to hint at female Horners,
Who, in their exclusive corners,
Think the world is only made of up
permost;
Aud in the funny pie
That we call Society,
Their dainty fingers delicately thrust ;
’Till it sometimes comes to pass,
Iu the spiced and sugared mass,
One may compass (don’t they call it
so?) a catch;
And the gratillation given
Seems as if the very heaven
Had outdouc itself in mnkiug such a
match!
O, the world keeps Christmas Day
In a queer pcri>ctunl way;
Shouting always, “What a great, big
Boy am I!”
Yet how many of the crowd,
Thus vociferating loud,
And itn accidental honors lifting high,
IIuvc really more than Jack,
With all their lucky knack.
•Had a Unger iu the making of the Pie'
Mr. Kobb Becomes a Mason.
I flatter myself I understand some
thing about secret societies. I have
a passion for that sort of thing ever
since I was old enough to tell lies. 1
have scouted around pretty extensive
ly among the different organizations,
I’ve been an Orangeman, mid a Fen
ian, and a Good Templar, aud a coun
terfeiter, and also a Knight of Malta.
1 have belonged to the Sons of Tem
perance, aud the Young Men’s Chris
tian association, and the Band ot Hope,
and a hand of robbers. I’ve been into
everything, and I thought I knew
everything almost, but I didn’t Three
months ago 1 became infatuated with
Masonry, and since I joined that wor
thy organizaton 1 have discovered sev
eral tilings connected therewith tluit
outsiders don’t know just a petty good
deal about. Now, Mr. Editor, l pro-
. making these secrets public, not
out of compassion for my fellow men
who may be tending toward Masonry;
and act as a warning, and so on, be
cause 1 haven’t got a spark of human
kindness in my bre-st, aud would rath
er see every mother's son of them put
to the torture thau not; but because 1
have got a spite ugainst the fellows
who initiated me, who made tho irons
too hot, and the goat too frisky, and
treated me with a roughness generally
that the occasiou did not warrant.
Before fulminating my narrative I
will state for the benefit of those y ’
c’on’t know, ’.hat Masonry is about
hundred thousand years old. It i
old when the fraternity got into trou-
at the tower of Babel, and it was old
when Adam first put on his apron a*
grand master of the Eden lodge. As
a more convincing pr<x>l of its antiqui
ty 1 will just mention that a party of
miners, the other day, in their excava
tions, came upon the petrified remains
of a Masonic lodge, with the member*
in their places and all complete, ami
eminent geologists who have examin
ed the fossils arc of opinion that these
bodies have been imbedded in lit*
rocks for more than fifteen thousand
years.
On the evening [ was to be initiated
1 made my will and took a most affec
tionate leave of my family. Thus pre
pared I started for the lodge accompa
nied by Bro. John Smith, fi. 1L S. P.
T., who was to “sec me through.” We
had no difficulty getting past the first
entrance, but when we knocked at the
second a fat little fellow looked out
through a round bole in the door and
^ut this startling insticatory to Bro.
Smith; CUetexdiroahighcockalorumV
to which Bro. Smith replied cheerfully
Nix-my-dolly-wback-doo. The little
fellow then said: FlodzestcompbriUdy*
turn turn; and my conductor giving a
satisfactory answer, we were permit
ted to enter. Before I bad time
to look around me »longlegged fellow
knocked me over with a dub; be then
stood ms oo my feet and another ma
rauder made a rash at me and brought
me down again. After I had under
gone this exhilarating exercise for
about live minutes they stretched me
When 1 came to my senses I was
aloue in the ante-room of the lodge, it
was a lively and cheerful apartment.
A couple t* crocodiles were amusing
themselves iu a comer and a few full
grown rattlesnakes were practicing
the flying trapeze on the stove pipe.
Tito furniture cousistcd chiefly ot half
a dozen mummies, the skeleton ot
Captain Kidd, Lucretia Borgia. Guy
Fawkes, Jack the Giant Killer, Oliver
Cromwell, the Wandering Jew, Wil
liam the Conqueror, Christopher Co
lumbus aad Dick Turpin; a flying ma
chine, three barrels of gunpowder and
a remarkably healthy and well unde
veloped wild cat. Just theu.half a dozen
pirates, clad in aprons aud sashes,
rushed into the room with u whoop.
One of them, the highest and ugliest,
who appeared to be”uie chief urdercU
tbe attendants, in a voice of thunder,
to trot out tho Aaiuial. The attend
ants disappeared, but immediately re
appeared, leading an iron-clad goat, a
regular double decker, with sixteeu
horns, a pair of wings, and seven or
eight tails stuck all over him. My
eyes were hauda^ed, aud I was told
to mount. I said, gentleman, if;
excuse me 1 would rather not.
not accostomed to going up iu a bal
loon; besides I’ve got au engagement
down town. My wife wants to sou me
particularly. I rather think my house
is ou fire, (Ait I'll be back in a few min
utes—yes. gentlemen, iu a few— —.
Before I could fiuish my scutetice 1
was seized from behind ami pluuted
firmly astride of the infernal goa
Somebody then said, let’s go: an
away we went. I've been through
great mauy perilous scenes; I’ve bee
down iu a railway collision, and up i
a steamboat explosion ;l’ve fallen dow
three flights of stairs, and wa'k- d out
of a fourth story window, but this go:
excursion was a little -ahead ofthci
all. When I come to reflect on tl
matter I wonder that I ever came out
alive. The furious beast kiekc.i and
screamed and rolled over and tun
back somersaults, and drove
;aiust the ceiling and underneath
the chairs, till the bandage gave
ami I had to let go. 2’he goat i
ished up thc*chimncy in a blue flsi
ami I found myself in tho centre
the lodge room with about titty Mu-
ions iu aprous, and nothing e*
dancing a war dance urouud me. !
rest of the members were standing
their heads in the ditf. rent corners, all
but the cadaverous looking buccaucci
who seemed to he the head of the <lc
purimcuL Soon they let! offduncinp
and marched round the room i haul-
inspiring dirge. 1 was then
hauled up iu trout ol the chief's desk,
who thus addressed me: "Brother
Kobb, you are now one of us. You
.re a member of an institution that
as lasted over three million years,
injiervious lo luumlanc'iuilu-
euees. You are water proof, an.1 lire
prooi;vou arc over proof! You can
walk through the river or Ml ou a red
‘lot stove with impunity. Mortal man
uuuot,Uartuyou, ami tin* devil himself
must curl up his tail uml walk oil at
your approach. Be virtuous, Mr.
Kobb. and you will be happy.”
1 then assumed a sash and apron.
u«ih.pi«b rJ »,
euMpepcr la iujt awe. pound moluo
kad lo njr trooMU nodudo aad palled
o»ck»llh
redbot fuacUtn, with aTicv,Itu|> maocj.
Saeannat) Catbs.
TOM. HOME.
Established 1850.
I M P O R T E U
—axd—
TOholesale
SEALED IX
Wines. Liquors
? and'segars,
E. L- NEIDL1NGER,
-DEAI.EK IX—
SADDLES, BRIDLES
HARNESS,
BELTING, SADDLERY WARE
No. LIT. .st. Juiiun mid 153 JJrytui Sis^
ra»r Sion.
MEINHARD 11ROS. A CO.
• Wholesale Dealers in
Boots, Slioes, Hats,
READY-MADE
Cid< >TII1N(*.
ire Ills'
K«i
, .1 ii
Never Turn Atouti<l in tin*
Street with a Ladder on Your
Shoulder.
From Uiclhutourj Sow*.
Old Mr. Watson on NcLon street
has got a nice little bill to ;»ay. lit
sent u man down town ior a pot ol
aiut and a ladder. The u uu g«u
paint, ami then went to a lumber )ar<l
after a ladder. Then tied the p.tiui
the end of the ladder, and put the
Sn van null, €*u.
N. B. KN APP,
Wlioti'aala .-uni Detail 1*. si, lain
Saddles, Bridles, Har
ness,
Rubber and Lejllicr Ilvliinf*
ami Pack in
French and Aim-ri. an
Call .Skin*, Nole. //arue*-.
Bridle, Band ami I’ateiit
Leather, Valin.-*, Tiuukn,
Carpet Bag-. Whips
and -Saddlery
Ware.
At tiii. sign of *rii k Goldin S\d-
DI.K. WI.VT KND GujIignV Ih jI Dl .O.
Market Square, N l V A VYt 11,<- A.
Large iiaw,rtin<-ut «>n Ur.-1 ni..l U si it*
THE IVES SHIRT
Sent to order C. O. D.
To any part of the country, by i
iug the following measures:’
Around the neck, .-.ml add one
•boulder shoulder loin
In
Ol l..|
id slli
ladder on his shoulder.
cry smart arrangement, and the man
hunsclt admired it very nmeh. lie
started for home this way, and didn't
find any trouble in gcUiiig along the
first block, because people had an im
pression that a long ladder with a mil
of yellow paint dangling on the end of
it wasn’t exactly the thing to trifle
with, so they balanced nJoug on the
curb stone,or rubbed tip against the
building*. Pretty soon the matt haw
somebody in a store he knew, and lie
turned around to speak to him, ami
drove one eud ol the ladder into a mil
linery case and knocked the etoau out
of an SI* botnet. Then he backed off
affright, and knocked down two
sewing machine agentk with the other
1. Then he started to turn round,
1 au old gentleman who m ils <li spor-
nlely endeavoring to pull his wife out
f danger, saw the peril, uml should
*ut “Hi, there!” But it wan too law-.
The pot struck ngaimd an awning p«»hi
and tipped to one hide, and the entire
contents went over the aged ample.
This so startled the man that be
whirled completely around, smashing
in an entire store trout, frightening a
milk man’s team, and knocking ovt r
thirteen persons who were ac
tively dodging about to get out ol the
way. Theu he dropped the ladder,
ami Med into the country, tdiouiing
murder” and ‘-fire” at every jump. A
cgular ordained painter is now en
gaged on Mr. WalM>u'» house.
A Great C ountry.
An emigrant to the country of the
•Great West” thus writes to a friend
at borne:
is a glorious country! It ha*
longer rivers and inure of tliern. aud
they are muddier and deeper and tun
faster, aud maac more noise. ri»<
higher,fall lower, and do more damage
than anybody el*e’s rivers, it ha*
inure lakes, ami they are bigger and
deeper, and clearer than any in other
country. Our rail cars are bigg< r,
and run faster, and pitch off the txa.de
oftener, and kill more people than all
othci rail cars In thin and every other
country. Our steamboats carry big
ger loads, are longer and broader, arid
burst their toilers oftener. and the
captain* swear harder than steamboat
captains in any other country. Our
men are bigger, and longer, ami thick
er, can fight harder ami foster, and
drink more mean whiskey, ami chew
bail tobacco, and spit farther, ami not
be killed, than any oilier country-. Our
ladies are richer, prettier, dress finer,
spend more money, break more hearts,
wear bigger hoops, shorter drv**e»,
kick up the devil geaeraUv, to a grea
ter extent, than in any other country.
Ou« nigger* are blacker, work harder,
hare thicker skulls, smell louder, and
need thrashing oftener, than anr nig
gers in any other Stale. Our children
squeal loader, grow faster, get too
extensive for their pantaloon* quicker
than any other children in any other
country.”
When TOO Me a dead maa la Ike
read, with loag hair, aa aukrcJotbuie.
and bis boots run over, nt the bed,
you may ha quite confident it is a
newspaper man, murdered for hi*
i Shirts open iu bac k f.tt
Clothing or Furnishing GcskIs
GOLD XHDDAI.
Awarded lo I bo
C *ot t on |
COOK STOVE,
.It tiic J'AlIt ol
"The Industral Association orGi. 1 *
Il'-I I st HaTaiihtli, .Vi ». tot»f, 1*71.
Irh by vt'iJ.1 t|'«| lUelf »„ U Mr«ft
MMw.l lia\’\uZ\iJi m Ur U* «*,• w!ll
U> diM|'jr<i»i«-l. Xfefjr au,**
For tiah by
John \. Douglass,
**Ur in Tl* WUn *u-| flog- fum-
>. IV. I It r.yttos Hlx«-1, h.XVA.VNA If, «j A.
■foils 1. UOOKRri.
I IR AKI. DAhfieiL
ROGERS & DASHER
Importers,
JOBBEPS and RETAILERS
Dry Goods,
Fumy fi ooxj.n, I Joinery, Small
Wan**,, UiMx>im and
H t r a w <* o o tl h,
Orders front the counlry strictly at
tended and filled at the lowest ralct.
B»wjU//n W*nt, 0#rker <x IVUuUt,
SA VANS AH, - - 4fAa
». i. arajrs
KOUTIIRKX.
PHOTOORAPHrO
AXO
• T-3B RROTYPE
STOCK UEI-OT,
MVimH. OSOBOLA
Fim-cUM Stock Et'xorthem Prt-
**». »»»« Ume, freight, huaraocoL
dreW.««c, toattttaT”