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€'(jr Grille Sotirno!,
IS PUBLISHED WEEKL Y
—A T—
THOMSON. CNTN.,
-B Y- |
J. E. WHITE & GO.
BUSINESS CARDS,
DR. WM. McLEAN -
ANNOUNCES TO THE CITIZENS OF
THOMSON AND VICINITY
that he has resumed the practice of his |
profession*
' WHEN NOT PROFESSIONALLY j
engaged he may be found at
jFT.'I.VIL TOA' M&JVQR,
NEAR TJEOMSON, GA.
July 10, ts
JT. Jt.
IMPORTER and DY.YLER IN
WINES, ALES,
TKJCORS, pORTEBS,
Cigars, lilte.
Corner Broad and Jack*
soil Street,
AUGUSTA , GA.
May 7 «
“PAUL C. HUDSON.
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
Thomson, Ou.
GiT Prompt attention given to all bnsi-
ness entrust© .1 to his care.
March I*2. Cm
P* JILMEB house.
( Oyer Big'' oll & Crump’s Auction Store.)
*B4 Broad Augusta, Georgia.
J. 1. PALMEIi, Proprietor.
Good board furnished i>y the "S'- 1 '- tnontj
or day.
April 9 So. _
R, W. H. NEAL,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
THOMSON, GA.
Omcz. —OverJ. H. Montgomery a Store.
CHARLES S. DuBOSE,
ATTORNEY AT I,MV,
WAERENTON, GA.
«HT Will practice in tlio courts of the
Northern, Middle and Augusta Circuits.
H, C. BONEY,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
THOMSON, GA
<J3-"\Tiir practice in the Augusta, North
ern and Middle Circuits. uolyl
WALTON CLARKE & CO,
Wholesale Grocers
—AND —:
Commission Merchants,
IVo. 305 J, Uroatl SSti-^ot,
Jan. 22, -ly, AUGUSTA, GA.
’ A. D. HILL,
Druggist and Apothecary,
THOMSON, GA .
Keeps constantly on hand a fall and com
plete supply of Drugs. Mi dicints. Chemicals,
Paints, Oils, Varnishes. Glass. Butty, Pure
Wines and Liquors for Medicinal purposes.
Kerosene Oil of lfio fire test ; also Lumps,
Chiinnics and Bumes.
ALSO. Just received a fresh supply of
puists Warranted Garden Seeds.
Prescriptions carefully compounded.
jan 15 mfi
Thomson High School
FOR BO I~S .t.m U MILS.
I _ ,0--~
N. A. LEWIS, Pi:incu’ac.
MISS R F. BRADSHAW, Assistant.
Spring Term began on the loth of
Hjonths.
The Fall Term begins August lltli and
embraces four months.
For particulars apply to the Principal.®
Feb. 12 ts.
(fatal |)oiel,
ZB"Y
MBS. W. M. THOMAS,
AUGUSTA. GEORGIA
scplltf
F J PRIDHAM,
HOUSE & SIGH HR,
nsr ID
INTERIOR DECORATOR.
ADDRESS HIM AT
Aug. 20, iim Thomson, Ga.
WORKERS WANTED
-FOB
WOOD’S HOUSEHOLD MAGAZINE,
which, with its Premiums, is one of the
most attractive in the country,
Price of Magazine.
One I )<>ll:i i- a Year.
Commissions liberal, offering *a lucrative
and agreeable business to those willing to
give it proper attention.
Yol. XIII, begins with July, 1873.
Examine our Clubbing and Premium Lists
Two first-dess periodicals for the price
of one.
■ST For specimen Magazine and further
information. Address.
WOOD’S HOUSEHOLD MAGAZINE,
t. E. SHUTES, Pub. Newburgh, N. Y.
Atgust *>, 1873. ts
~ HOLLAND,
DtNT I S T .
Can be fomd at his Operating Boom in
Thomson. G« . on the first Monday in each
month, where he will remain two weeks, or
more except in-cases of sickness,” aug7tf,
(The JtlcUuffii' (Klcdiln Joiujiial
VOLUME III—NUMBER 36.
For over FORTY YEARS this
Purely A r e«e table
LIVER MEDICINE has proved to bo the
Groat Unfailing Specific
for Lives Complaint and its painful off
spring. DYSPEPSIA, CONSTIPATION,
Jaundice. Bilious attacks, SICK HEAD
ACHE, Colic. Depression of Spirits, SOUR
STOMACH, Heartburn, CHILLS AND
FEVER, Ac., Ac
After years of careful experiments, to meet
a great and urgent do:uaiui, we now produce
from our original Genuine Powders.
The Prepared.
A Liquid form of SIMMONS* LIVER REGU
LATOR, containing all its wonderful and
valuable properties, and offer it in
ne Dollar Bottles.
The Powders, (priceas before,) SIOO per
package. Sent bv mail 1.0!
fiT CAUTION ! - j
Buy m> Powders or PREPARED SIM
MONS’LIVER REGULATOR. unless in
our engraved wrapper, wMi Trade mark,
Stamp and Signature unbroken. None
otlior is genuine.
J. H. ZEILIN & CO.,
MACON, GA. AND PH[LADELriIIA.
SOLD BY ALL DRUGGISTS
BRUMMEL’S
LADIES* BITTERS,
Manufactured by
!'j\w
$(
■tcocNAc.Ui lai itfr3 llriil / U
\ M }]■ jl
- Y-
282 BROAD ST„ AUGUSTA, GA.
Rectifiers, Redistiilere, Importers and
Wholesale Dealers in
jP USL /ii sTiL W sea
AND
Coni Whiskies.
FOREIGN AND DOMESTIC LIQUD iS,
Brandies,
Wines,
Gin,
Rum,
Ale,
Etc.
Also a Superior Article of
LADIES' Bfi I l l’S.
OiT To! sin o and fjtgais of every variety.
January 2d, 1 873—:Tm.
T
1 HE Guide is published Quarterly.—
*25 cents pays for the year, which is not half
the cost. Those'who afterwards send mon
ey to the amount of one * dollar may also or
der 25 cents worth extra —the price for the
Guide. The first number is beautiful, giv
ing plans for making Rural Homes, Dining
Table Decorations, Window Gardens, Ac.,
and a mass of information invaluable to the
lover of flowers. 150 pages on fine tinted pa
per some 500 engravings, and a superb col
ored plate, and Chromo CovQr.
“The first edition of 200,000 printed in Eng
lish and Germm.
JAMES VICK, Rochester, N. Y.
March 12
Columbia Institute,
Thomson, C*u.
T
* HE Full Term begins on Monday, the
18th of August, and closes on Friday, the
28th of November. For particulars ap
ply to -J. W. SHANK,
July 30. 3m Teacher in Charge,
C. E. DODD. K. L. MEALING.
C. E, DODD & CO,,
WHOLESALE AND RETAIL DEALERS IN
Hats, Caps and Straw Goods,
No* 250 Broad Street,
jan 2fimC AUQUSTA, <G.\ .
810 SEWARD
WILL be paid for the apprehension and
confinement in jail of one Jake Story,
a notorious thief for whom a warrant is now
in the hands of an officer, for simple lar
ceny and assault and battery.
SAM RAMSAY, (Colored.)
August 20, 1873. ft
Thomson, McDuffie county, ga, September 10, 1873.
POETICAL.
The Flower Unpluckcd.
Upon tho wayside long ago,
I found a rose of wondrous bloom,
Which seemed to welcome my approach
With sudden fullness of perfume,
I looked and lingered for a while,
New life, new joy each moment gaining,
Till, urged by fate, I hastened on,
And sought to still 1113’ heart’s complain
ing.
Since then, along the path of life,
A thousand flowers my days have blest,
Some in my heart’s best pagos pressed ;
But fair 01* fragrant as they grew,
And paled beside that earlier splendor,
Which ever followed from &far,
And wooed me with remembrance tender.
Perhaps from other eyes was hid
The rare, sweet charm that shone for me,
To them it seemed a simple flower—
My rose of dream and destiny !
And me alone its beauty haunts
Forever welcome though unbidden,
A subtle, soothing, ceasloss charm
In atarlight shrined, in music hidden.
If l had plucked that wayside flower
And worn it proudly on my breast,
I might have seen its sweetness fade,
My hand was liolden—Heaven knew best.
Now when I reacli the great white gate
Which opens on the field immortal,
I know that I shall find my rose,
Fresh blooming, just within the portal.
The Silver Lining.
Loud lashed life’s raging, billowy sea,
Around my toilsome way,
And demons, wild with hellish glee,
Howled ’round in fearful play ;
My spirit shrunk, and grim Despair
Clutched at my parting breath,
I looked above—no light was there—
Below—and all was death.
But ’mid my agonizing cry,
Faith bade me cease my repining,
The darkest cloud that flecks the sky
May have a silver lining.
She bade the angry waves subside.
Life’s raging storm to cease,
And then my joyous spirit cried,
In ecstaey of peace.
The sea was calm—Despair forsook
My weary, toilsomo way,
And soon a holier radience broko
Upon the brow of day.
T was Hope slio bade my fearful eye
Look up without repining,
And through the cloud that flecked the sky
I was a silver lining.
Then all was smooth. The turbid sea
Grow calm as summer air ;
The sky was all tranquility,
No ghostly clouds wore there.
Faith— Hope, my guardian angels bright,
Held me in firm control,
Till Love, with floods of golden light,
Burst in upon my soul.
'I hen back I turned my tearless eyo
Where all was once repining;
No cloud was left upon the sky,
But just a silver lining.
olhl t j aaaim.Bii Wßßeammmt -r«irriitn —■ t—’frunrtitm
SELECT Ml SC ELL AN »'
THE SECRET CLOSETN ~
‘•For murder, though it have no tongue,
will speak with most miraculous organs.”
In the year 18—, John Smith (I use
fictitious names) was indicted for the
wilful murder of Henry Thompson. The
case wad one of a most extraordinary
nature, and the interest excited by it
was almost unparalleled. The accused
was a gentleman of considerable proper
ty, residing upon his own estate. A per
son, supposed to be an entire stranger to
him, hud, late in a summer’s day, re
quested and obtained shelter and hospi
tality for tho night. He had, it was
supposed, after taking some light refresh
ment, retired to bed in perfect health,
requesting to be awakened at an early
hour the following morning. When, the
servant appointed to call him entered
the room for that purpose, he was found
in his room perfectly dead; and from
the appearance of the body it was obvi
ous that he had been so for many hours.
There was not the slightest mark of vio
lence upon his person, and the counte
nance retained the same expression it
had borne during life,
Days and weeks passed on, and little
further was discovered. In the mean
time rumor had not been idle. Suspi
cions were vague, indeed, and undefined,
and were at first whiskered, and after
terwards boldly expressed, The precise
object of these suspicions was not clearly
indicated; some implicated one person
and some another ; but they all pointed
to Smith, the master of the house, as
concerned in the death of tho stranger;
and, in fine, the magistrates were in
duced to commit Mr. Smith to jail to
take his trial for the wilful murder of
Henry Thompson, As it was deemed
essential to the attainment of justice to
keep secret the examination of the wit
nesses who were produced before the
magistrates, all the information of which
the public were in possession before the
trial took place was that which I have
narrated. Such was the state of things
upon the morning of the trial,
The counsel for the prosecution open
ed his case to the jury in a manner that
indicated very little expectation of a con
viction. He began by imploring them
to divest their minds of all that they
had heard before they came into the
box; he entreated them to attend to the
evidence, and judge from that alone.
It would 1)0 proved beyond a possibili
ty of a doubt that the deceased died by
poison—poison of a most subtile nature,
iu its operation, and possesing the won
derful and dreadful quality of leaving no
external mark or token by which its
presence could be detected. The ingre
dients of which it was composed were
of so sedative a nature that, instead of
the body on which it had been used
exhibiting any contortions, or marks of
suffering, it left upon the features noth
ing but the calm and placid quiet of
repose.
The prisoner’s family consisted ofily
of himself, a honselceeper, and one
man servant. The man servant slept in
an out-liouse adjoining the stable, and
did so the night of Thompson’s death.
The prisoner slept at one end of the
house and the housekeeper at the other,
and the deceased had been put into a
room adjoining the housekeeper’s.
It would be proved by a person who
happened to be passing by the house on
tho night in question, about three hours
after midnight, that he had been induced
to remain and watch, from having his
attention excited by tho circumstances,
then very unusual, of a light moving
about the house at that late hour. That
person would state most positively that
he could distinctly see a figure, holding
a light, go from the room in which the
prisoner slept to the housekeeper’sroom,
that two persons then came out of the
housekeeper’s room, and tho light dis
appeared for a minute. Whether the
two persons went into Thompson's room
he could not see, as the window of that
room looked another way ; but in about
a minute they returned, passing quite
along the house to Smith’s room again;
and in about five minutes the light was
extinguished and he saw it no more.
Such was the evidence upon which the
magistrate hail commited Smith; aud
singularly enough, since his committal
tho housekeeper has disappeared, nor
can any trace of her bo discovered.
Within the last week the witness who
saw the light had been more particularly
examined, and in order to refresh his
memory, had been placed at dark in the
very spot where ho had stood on that
night, and another person was placed
with him. The whole scene, as he had
described it, was acted over again, but
it was utterly impossible, from .the cause
above mentioned, to assert, when the
light disappeared, whether the parties
had gone into Thompson’s room. As if,
however, to throw still deeper mystery
over this extraordinary transaction, the
witness persisted in adding anew feature
to liis former statement, that after the
persons returned with the light into
Smith’s room, and before it was extin
guished, he had twice perceived some
dark object to intervene between the
light and the window, almost as largo as
the surface of tho window itself, and
which ho described by saying it appeared
as if a door had been placed before the
light.
Now in Smith’s room there was noth
ing which could account for this appear
ance ; liis bed was in a different part,
and there was neither cupboard nor press
in the room, which, but for the bed, was
was entirely empty, the room in which
he dressed being at a distance beyond.
He would state only one fact more
(said the learned counsel), and having
done his duty, it would be for the jury
to do theirs. Within a few days there
had been found in the prisoner’s house
the stopper of a small bottle of a very
singular appearance ; it was apparently
not of English manufacture, and was
described by the medical men as being
used by chemists to preserve those
which arc most likely to loso their virtue
by exposure to the air. To whom it
it belonged, or to what use they had
been applied, there was no evidence to
show.
Such was the address of the counsel
for the prosecution ; and during its de
livery I had earnestly watched tho coun
tenance of the prisoner, who had listened,
too, with deep attention, Twice only
did I perceive that it produced in him
the slightest emotion. When the disap
pearance of the housekeeper was men
tioned, a smile, as of scorn, passed over
his lip, and the notice of the discovery
of the stopper obviously excited an in
terest and, I thought, an apprehension ;
but it quickly subsided, I need not de
tail the evidence that was given for the
prosecution; it amounted, in substance,
to that which the counsel stated, nor was
it varied in any particular. The stopper
was produced and proved to be found
in tho house; but no attempt was made
to trace it to the prisoner’s possession,
or even knowledge,
When the case was closed tho learned
judge, addressing the counsel for the
prosecution, said he thought there was
hardly sufficient evidence to call upon
the prisoner for his defense; and if the
jury were of opinion they would at once
stop the case. Upon this observation
from the judge, the jury turned round
for a moment and then intimated their
aoquiesence in his lordship’s views of
the [evidence. The counsel folded up
their briefs, and a verdict of acquittal
was about to bo taken, when the prisoner
addressed tho court. He urged the
judge to permit him to state his ease to
the jury, and to call his housekeeper,
with so much eamestnes, and ivw sec
TERMS-TWO DOLLARS IN ADVANCE.
1 onded so strongly by his counsel, that |
! Lord Mansfield, though very much i
against his inclination, and contrary to
{ his usual habit, gave way and yielded
: to the request.
| The prisoner then addressed the jury,
and entreated their patience for a short
time. He repeated to them that lie never
could feel satisfied to be acquitted mere
ly because the evidenco was not conclu
sive, and pledged himself in a very short
time, by the few observations he should
make, to obtain their verdict on much
higher grounds—upon the impossibility
,of his being guilty of the dreadful crime.
Os the stopper which had been found i
he disowned all knowledge ; he declared
most solemnly that he had never seen it
before it was produced in court; and he
asked, could the fact of its being in the
house only a few days ago, when hun
dreds of people had been there, produce
upon an impartial mind even a moment
ary prejudice against him ? One fact
of his having gone to the bedroom of
his housekeeper on the night in ques
tion.
He had been subject for many years
of his life to sudden fits of illness : ho
had been seized with one on that occa
sion, and had gone to her to procure her
assistance ill lighting a fire. She had
returned with him to lus room for that
purpose, he having waited for a minute
in the passage while she put ou her
clothes, which would account for the
momentary disappearance of the light;
and after she had remained in his room
for a few minutes, finding himself better,
he had dismissed her, and retired again
to bed,from which he had not risen when
he was informed of the death of his
guest.
It had been said that, after his commit
tal topriHon, his housekeeper had disap
peared. He avowed that, finding his ene
mies determined, ifpossible, toaecomplish
his ruin, he had thought it probable they
might tamper with his servant; he had,
therefore, kept her out of the way ; but
for what purpose ? Not to prevent her
testimony being given, for she was now
under the care of his solicitor, and would
instantly appear for the purpose of con
firming, as far as she was concerned, the
statement which he had just made.
Such was tho prisoner’s address,
which produced a powerful effect. It
was delivered in a firm and impressive
manner, and its simplcity and artless
noss gave it an appearance of truth.
The housekeeper was then put upon the
box aud examined by the counsel of the
prisoner. According to the custom at
that time almost universal, of excluding
witnesses from court until their testimo
mony was required, she had been kept
at a house near at hand, and had not
heard a single word of the trial. There
was nothing remarkabla in her manner
or appearance ; she might be about thir
ty-five or a little more, with regular
though not agreeable features, aud an
air perfectly free from embarrassment.
She repeated, almost in tho prisoner’s
own words, the story he had told of liis
having called bet up, and her having ac
companied him to his room, and had
been awakened by a man servant iu the
morning with on account of tho travel
er’s death.
She had now to undergo a cross-exam
ination ; and I may as well state here,
which, though not known to mo till af
terward, will assist the reader in under
standing tho following scene. The
: counsel for prosecution had, in his own
mind, attached considerable importance
to the circumstance mentioned by the
' witness who saw the light, that while
1 tho prisoner and the housekeeper were
in the room of the former, something
j like a door intervened between the can
dle and the window, which was totally
; irreconcilable with the appearace of the
; room when examined ; and he hud half
i persuaded himself that there must boa
i secret closet which had escaped tho offi
| cers, the opening of which would ac
count for the appearance alluded to, and
tho existence of which had so mysteri
ously disappeared.
His object, therefore, was to obtain
from the housekeeper (the only person
except the prisoner who could give any
clue to this) such information as he
could, without alarming her by any di
rect enquiry on the subject; and by him
self treating the matter as immaterial,
he might lead her to consider it so, and
thus unexpectedly draw forth all she
knew. After some unimportant ques
| tions, he asked her in a tone and manner
| calculated rather to awaken, confidence
than to excite distrust:
“During the time you were in Mr.
Smith’s room, you stated that the candle
stood on the table in the center of the
room ?’’
*‘Yes.”
£ ‘Was the closet, or the oupboard, or
whatever you call it, opened once or
twice while it stood there ?”
A pause ; no answer,
“I will call it to your recollection.
After Mr, Smith took the medicine out
of the closet did he shut the door, or did
it remain open ?”
“Hi?shut it.’’
“Then it was opened again for the
purpose of replacing the bottle, was it?”
“It was.”
“Do you recollect how long it was
open the last time ?”
“Not above a minute,”
“The door, when open, would be ex
actly between the light and the window,
would it not ?”
“It would.”
“I forget whether you said the closet
was on the right or left hand side of the
window?”
“The left.”
“Would the door of the closet make
any noise in opening?”
“None.” ,
“Can you speak positively to the fact?
Have you ever opened it yourself or seen
Smith open it ?”
“Inever opened it myself.”
“Did you ever keep the keys?”
“Never.’
“Who did ?”
“Mr. Smith, always.”
At this moment the witness turned
her eyes toward the spot where the pris
oner stood, and the effect was almost
electrical. A cold damp sweat stood on
his brow ; his face had lost all its color.
She no sooner saw him than she shrieked
and fainted. The consequences of her
answers flashed across her mind.
She had been so thoroughly deceived
by the manner of the advocate, and by
the little importance he seemed to attach
to her statement, that she had been led
on, by one question to another, till she
had told him all he wanted to know.
During the interval in the proceedings,
occasioned by har illness, the solicitor
for the prosecution left the court. It
was between 4 and 5 o’clock when the
Judge resumed liis seat upon the bench,
the prisoner his station at the bar, and
the housekeeper hers in the witness box ;
the court in the interval had remained
crowded with spectators, scarce one of
whom had left his place, lest in his ab
sence, it should be seized by somo one.
The cross-examining counsel then ad
dressed the witness : “I have a very
few more questions to ask you , but be
ware that you answer them truly, for
your own life depends on a thread. Do
you know this stopper ?”
“Ido.”
“To whom does it belong ?”
“To Mr. Smith.”
“When did you see him last ?”
“On the night of Mr. Thompson’s
death.”
At this moment the solicitor for the
prosecution entered the court, bringing
with him, upon a tray, a watch, two
money bags, a jewel case, a pocket-book
and a bottle of the same manufacture as
the stopper, and having no cork in it;
some other articles were in it not materi
rial to my story. The tray was placed
on the table in sight of the prisoner and
witness, and from that moment not a
doubt remained in the mind of any spec
tator of the guilt of the prisoner;
A few words will bring my tale to a
close. Tbe house where the murder had
been committed was between nine and
ten miles distant. The solicitor, as
the cross-examination discovered the ex
istence of the closet, and its situation,
had set off on horseback, with two offi
cers, and after tearing down a part of
the wall of the house, had detected this
place of concealment.
The search was well rewarded ; the
whole of the property belonging to Mr.
Thompson was found there, amounting
in value to several thousand pounds ;
and to leave no doubt, a bottle was
found, which the medical man pro
nounced to contain the very identical
poison which had caused the death of
the unfortunate Mr. Thompson. The
result is too obvious to need explana
tion.
The case prsents the, perhaps, unpar
alleled instance of a man accused of mur
der, showing such a defence as to in
duce the Judge and jury to concur in a
verdict of acquittal, but who, persisting
iu calling a witness to prove his inno
cence, was, on the testimony of that wit
ness, convicted and executed.
An old farmer, noted for his eccentric
ities, hail hired a man who somewhat re
sembled himself, and whose vagaries ex
hibited themselves in ways most marked
and unexpected. Going to his bam one
winter morning, the farmer found his
man had been before him, and had taken
a halter and hanged himself to a beam,
and was already lifeless. Surveying the
spectacle for a moment, the old man
burst out: “Wall! I wonder what on
earth that old critter intends to do next.”
A cat, relying upon his nine lives to
save him, allowed his tail to swell, his
spine to curve, and with the “bauner cry
of hell” emanating from his jaws, waded
into a buzz saw in rapid motion. The
cat was never seen again, but the boss
sawyer, who always stood with his
mouth open while at work, remarked
that he could “taste Bausage meat and
cat-gut in the air that morning.”
It is reported that a man in Cincin
nati fell from the top of a four story
house the other day, to the stone side
walk below, without being injured in the
least, He was an insurance agent, and
struck on his cheek. At the time of his
fall he was leaning on the edge of the
roof, shoving his papers at a painter
whom he had treed on a swinging scaf
fold underneath,
The difference between a city and a
country gieenhom is, that the one wants
to know everythings, and jhe other thinks
ho can tell him.
Advertising Rates.
One square, first insertion $ 1 00
Each subsequent insertion 75
One square three months 10 @0
Onesqaresix months 15 00
One square twelve months 20 00
One quarter column twelve months. 40 00
Half column six months 60 00
Half column twelve months . 75 00
One column twelve months 125 00
■KT Ten lines or less considered a squaro
All fractions of squares counted as squares
g—^—————
An Enterprising Coroner,
Butcher, when we knew him, was coro
ner up iu Williamsport, Pa. Business
that winter was dreadful dull. Nobody
died suddenly, or was drowned, or was
murdered. Butcher not only had noth
to do, but lie made no fees, and was as
poor as Walt Whitman’s poetry. Sud
denly a mania for committing suicide
seemed to break out among the people.
Mrs. Brown fed herself with strychnine,,
both the Smith girls stuffed themselves
with arsenic, Alee Jones took a dose of
laudanum, Johnson's colored girl swal
lowed some bug poison, and Mrs. Mur
phy’s little son ate four boxes of phspho
rus matches.
These tragic events occurred at inter
vals of a few days, and in each case, nor
sooner were the facts discovered,than Dr.
Biunm was at once on hand with his
stomach pump. He emptied Mrs. Brown
all of a sudden ; he pumped out the
Smith girls ; he tore the laudanum out
of Jones ; he separated the poison from
the colored girl, and he nearly turned
Mrs. Murphy’s boy wrong side out. —
All of them recovered.
The coroner viewed all these proceed
ings with regret. He went to Bunun and
suggested that he would give one hun
dred dollars if the doctor would close out
his pump, and fifty more if he would go
out of town for three or four weeks.—
The coroner said ho did not wish to
seem importunate, or obtrusive, but was
tired of having doctors meddle with his
business. Then Dr. Branm affirmed
that he would not only not sell and not
leave town, but when the next poison
ing case occurred, he would buy a steam
engine, attach it to the machine, and
pump the patient throughout the never
ending ages of all eternity if he wanted
to. »
That night Butcher bribed the doctor’s
boy to bring him the pump for a few
moments. Then he inlibed some nitro
glycerine around the end of the piston,
and sent it back.
The next day Mary Jane McGuire
took oxalic acid. The doctor came.—
He inserted the apparatus down her
throat, and plunged the piston down.—
A snap, a shriek, a loud explosion, and
Mary Jane—O ! where was she ? Forty
seven pieces of her were found, and they
picked up twelve fragments of the doc
tor. So the coroner had a chance for
fii ty-niue inquests, the fees for which en
abled him to buy a barrel of flour, get
his wagon fixed, and give his wife a pink
silk flress.
He was the most enterprising coroner
they over had in Williamsport.
Brown’s Wooden Wedding.
Brown, a young insurance friend of ours
who lives hi Cambridge, had the fifth
anniversary of his wedding to occur
about a week agoj and his friends de
termined to celebrate his wooden wed
ding by a surprise party. They com
menced by sending a servant round with
a team to take Brown a ;d his wife out to
ride about seven. Then they began to
come with presents and materials for
supper. There was a little party of five
came first, all laden—hands full. They
all got nicely inside the garden gate,
which shuts with aspring, when Brown’s
big mastiff, which is always left unchain
ed in his master’s absence, came round
the corner and surprised them. One
woman stepped on her dress, and in her
fall so demoralized a fragile black-wal
nut book-case she carried, that it was
afterwards done up in a bundle and pre
sented as kindling wood. Another fel
low got safely out of the yard, all but a
pait of his pants, while o’.d Mr. Smith
ers, who weighs 220 pounds, plunged
wildly with the eight gallon pail of ice
cream he carried, through Brown’s hot
house in the corner of the yard, and
surprised about S3O worth of exotics.—
Finally they fixed things up, and got
into the house, and as it was about time
for Brown’s return, they commenced lay
ing the supper-table. They got down a
tea set of rare china that a friend of Brown
h;ul loaned him a week before, and
broke two pieces ; so ,tliat Brown has
since been obliged to mortgage his hen
house, and buy the set; and the com
ments of Mrs. Brown when she saw the
state of the carpet were sarcastic in the
extreme. Finally, as a crowning touch,
they tried to hang out Chinese lanterns,
with the word “Welcome” on them on
the porch over the front parlor door. —
They succeeded in hanging two lanterns,
and when they had saved the house
from the fire-fiend, there wasn’t enough,
porch left to pay for the trouble of try
ing to hang out any more. Then they
sat down and waited for Brown and his
wife to come home. We draw the veil
over tho scene that followed their re
turn. Some scenes are too joyous to be
described in cold, cold words.
“You must have lived here a long
time,” said an English traveler to an old
Oregon pioneer. “Yes, sir, I have.-
Do you see that mountian ? Well, when
I came here that mountain was a hole in
the ground,”
Nothing is more indicative of the
earnestness of life than the sight of a
well developed male creature spending
eight hours a day in trying to wear out a
dry goods box with the seat of his pants.
A Philadelphia razor-man was recently
presented,with a “strapping big boy."