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n* Muffle, Journal. A Beal Live (jountry'Pkper. 'PfffiTlshed Everj- Weduesday Morning, by WHITE & poSt MS. IHMof lu«*erlpUon. Bne copy, one year §2.69 BUSINESS CARDS. —' Y - — ~ - : R. W. H. NEAL, A TTORNEY AT LA IF, i»d soTi»i pnuc, r THOMSON, OA. WILL praotice in the Courts of Mo Duffle and adjoining Counties. 99*Coxvbt a vex n o a specialty. H. C. RONEY, ATTORNEY AT LAW. THOMSON. OA- W Will practice in tie 4»g*sta, North ern and Middle Circuits. nolyl “TSSf a HiS«irr ATTORNEY AT LA W, ThomMOu, Ga. Will practice in the Superior Courts of the Augusta, Northern and Middle Circuits, and in the Supreme Court, and will give attention to all cases in Bankruptcy. Aug. 25, 1S 74. ts Central |)otel,. B'V MRS. W. M. THOMAS, AUGUSTA, GEORGIA seplltf (fa 1O * day at home. Agents wauled, i |JS l h Outfit and terms free. TRUE * CO., Augnsta, Maine. JUDKINS & SHAW, KEEP SUPPLIED WITH FISH, OTfSTEBS, G&ME, VEGETABLES, Partridges, Doves, Squir rels. Ducks, Chickens, Butter, Cabbages. Potatoes, Eggs NORFOLK OYB I ETCS, ICK, etc. WOrders from the country promptly filled. Address . JUDKINS A SH AW, Mclntosh Street, next to the New Tost Of fioe. B2a§ UALLEP JA3.IEFFELDOU Address, POOLE & HUNT, SEND 25c. toO. r. ROWELL A CO., New York, for Pamphlet of 100 pages, containing lisls of .'HHK) newspapers, and estimates showing cost of advertising. rimioH HOTEL, Charleston, S. C. G. T. ALFORD & CO., Bates, $3. AO per day Proprietors. 1,8. &P. C. TANTS’ Meat House, %S££?bl£\_ Augusta Ga. Pine CAROLINA, TENNESSE and KEN TUCKY BEEF, Pork, Lamb, Veal. Mutton, Hog-head Cheese, Sausage, Mixed, or ALL PORK, as ordered, Corned Beef, Pork, and Tongues. A full stock always on hand. A CARD. I AM frequently naked by my frienda if I am doing a general practice, or only at tending iuch calla as may be made in good weather or convenient to my office. In anawer to the above, I would say to my former patrons and friends, that from this date I will enter upon the active duties ol my profession looking in part to those who may ask my services for my reward. Office on Main Street, in Holzendorfs House. May 10-ts. JAS. S. JONES. j JULIUS H. OPENHEIM, No, 143 Reynolds Street. AUGUSTA, GEORGIA., WHOLESALE DEALER IN’ IRON, METALS, RAGS AND ALL KINDS OF Paper Stock, Hides, Wool, WAX, Kto- H2-n$ ALBERT HAPE, Nou.Riwideut Ufutlst, ( AN still be found ready to attend to the wants of old and new patrons, if desired, at their residences. Will also, as heretofore, practice in adjoin ing comities. Panic prices insured and all work warranted. Office at the residence of W. E. Speir. Please address by letter, at Thomson, Ga. C 8 ts Cos., Portland. Maine. QSfcr Jjßcipttfk .Hbdfig Journal VOL * To the Afflicted* I $jP —j. 1 IN CALLING THE PUBLIC ATTENTION TO THE Indian Compound COUCH MIXTURE TT'OK the cure of CONSUMPTION and £ all disease of the LUNGS and THROAT, t say that nothing surpasses it for Colds and Coughs, and can be taken ! from old age down to the cradle with impu nity,, and .without danger. .But, the proses , sionnl world is so full of Ambignousness [ and Egotism, that anything put before the ; public as a safe and reliable Remedy for certain diseases is sooffed at and 'pro nounced worthless and a humbug. I say trrejt before you condexan it, as I will givy yJSk-ilie name of every beds, 4c., that it is composed of. which yon can examine at mm; ArbJtreS AffiSiuia ppn, ffiifra HfeKm'um, Marrubinm Vulgate, Antennaria Symphy tum, Duichwachsener Wasserdost, Cepha lanthus Occideutalis, Symphytum Offici nale It is prepared at my office, No. 5« Peach tree street, ATLANTA, GA., where it. can be had in any quantity. If any one using it will say that it has done them no good, return the bottle and get your money re turned. S. T. BIGGERS, M. I),, Cls-f*. Atlanta, Ga. For sale by Dr. A. D. Hill, 'Thomson, Ga. Spring Time! Again! C L E A N I T N EN CJL9TMMWS, BOOTS, SHOES, HATS. AC., AC., AC. JUST received a large lot of Spring and Summer Goods of all kinds, which are use ful, good, pretty and cheap. Wc only aak inspection before you spend a dollar for anything in our lino. A. J. Adkins, THOMSON, GA. Tie Meof Cannon. rphis thorough-bred TENNESSEE BULL, X whose pedigree in well CHtabliwhefl ana can be traced back through the purest stock for many years, is now standing on my plantation four miles North-east of Thom son, near the old White Oak Campground. He possesses all the qualities of the fiuest blooded stock in the land, is three years old, of dark brown color, weighs about fif teen hundred pounds, a model form, per fectly gentle and well disposed. I am prepared to take care of cows sent from a distance at reasonable rates. A number of his calves may be seen at the residences of Messrs. T. B- West, Wm. H. Johnson, and others. Price of Beason so.oo} M. W. CURKY. May 10-fim. 187 H. 1 877. GEORGIA DIRECTORY. First regular Issue now in preparation. t. WILL CONTAIN a complete Business Directory of every village, town and city in the State. 2. IT WILL CONTAIN a complete SHIP PER’S GUIDE to every poin. in the State. 3. IT WILL CONTAIN a full, classified list of all persons in the State engaged in any MERCANTILE, MECHANICAL. MANUFACTURING or PROFESSION AL pursuit. 4. IT WILL CONTAIN a correct list of State and County officers. 5. IT WILL CONTAIN a complete POST OFFICE DIRECTORY of the UNITED STATES and TERRITORIES. Also, an accurate list of EXPRESS STATIONS IN ALABAMA. GEORGIA, MISSISSIP PI, SOUTH CAKOLINA and FLORI DA, prepared expressly for this work by Route Agents, and only to be found in our Directories. (!. IT WILL CONTAIN a revised and cor rect COUNTY MAP of the STATE of GEORGIA. 7. IT WILL CONTAIN, in addition to the foregoing special features, so much gen eral information that no business man can afford to be without it. As an adver sing medium we think it presents its own claims, and wc confidently commend it to the business public, hoping to receive a patronage commensurate with its in trinsic value, and the great pains be stowed upon its preparation. BATES. One Page and Copy of Book, $25 00 Half “ “ “ “ “ 15 00 Third “ “ ** « • ..... 12 00 Fourth “ “ “ “ “ 10 00 Price of Book with Inch Card 5 00 Name in Capital Letters, 1 00 WHEELER, MARSHALL* BRUCE, PtTBT.ISHEEB, ATLANTA, GA. «/• / » ( B ( M(/WNE^ GTLDBR; LOOKING GI.ASS AND PICTURE FRAME MAKER. OLD FRAMES RE-GILT. OIL PAINTINGS CAREFULLY CLEANED, LINED and VARNISHED. m JACKSON STREET, ' :\ T T GT'ST A, GA. POETI(A\. TRUST AND BE TRUE. Look in ynur brother's eyes, man ! And bid him read your own ; One half the strife of human life Is born from guile alone! Deceit creates full half our hates, And half our loves it slays— Look in each others eyes, men, And meet each others gaze! Pardon your brother’s faults, man! And ask that he forgive; If human sin no mercy win, No human soul shall live. No need of heaven, were none forgiven. For none could reach its doors— Pardou your-brotlier’s faults, man, That he may pardon yours. Feel for your brother’s grief, man! No heart hr safe,from woe, . Though lip and eve may oft deny Tb,e sorrowing weight below. One gentle wile, one pitying smile x May sweetest bslm impart. Feel for your brother’s grief, man. And you will win his heart. Stand by your brother’s side mail, When worthy cause he shows; To him be just, and yield your trust, Wien he his faith bestows. How plainly thus with soul and eyes, True friendship to impart— Smile in vour brother’s face, man, And you will win his heart. DICK COLEMAN’S HORSE SWAP. A most incorrigible horse trader was Dick Coleman. He always kept one eye open for a chance to make a good trade; but sometimes it happened that he came out at the other end of the horn, in which c.ise he losi as little time as possible in finding some man whom he could leave in the same predicament. On one occasion Dick went down to Wehoga, where there was usually gath ered a crowd of congenial spirits, “of whom ho was one of which,” for the purpiso of picking up anything that might offer itself in the way of a good trade. Unfortunately for himself, how ever, he suffered his brain to become so mixed up witli reel foot whiskey that he completely lost his usual caution, and suffered himself most beautifuly taken in and done for. How he got home that, night he hud no idea—whether he rode the beast or led him, or carried him home on a ground slide—but it was said, when he got out to the stable next morn ing and found what kind of an auimal he hod become master of, not only “cussed a few,” but a whole heap of it. “Plague, pestilence and famine—bat tle, murder and sie-lden death light on the man that put that thing on me!” muttered he, getting his light remem brance of Episcopal service—mixed up with present circumstances so that it was hard to tell whether he was praying or “Thar’U be rest for the weary when I git done trading with him again.” The object of his troubles stood lean ing against the fence on the sunny Bide of the lot, in the most disconsolate man ner, as though he was expecting the buzzards to hold an inquest over him, and he didn’t care how soon the show opened.—Dick gazed at him with an air of mournful interest, “and still he gazed, and still the wonder grew,” that he should have suffered himself so badly beaten at that game that he considered himself master of. He hod an indistinct recollection that one Calvin Joluiß and his father were trying to swap horses with him, before his senses departed, and he could come to no other conclu sion than that they had pnt him in excellent condition for walking. “You’re a beauty, yon are 1” he apos trophised, and then looked contempt uous ly at the old horse.—“ You’d be quite an ornament to a bone factory or barn yard, but I’ll be hanged if your go. and points off to much advantage here. Bah 1 I’m sick 1” uud walked back to the house, and solaced himself with a stiff toddy and tried to dismiss the subject from his mind. Os course there was no present helpforit, foreven if he had known w ho it was, he was too true a horse swapper to go back on him. All he could do was to wait and v atcb, in the meantime making the best he could of his bargain, which amounted to very little at last. Time pissed on, and Dick not only learned the name of his biter—Calvin Johns —but also learned that there was a good deal of boasting on the part of the latter, at the manner in which he had pulled the wool over Coleman’s eyes. This riled Dick no Ijttle, but he held bis peace aud laid his plans. After awhile he fonnd a horse that suited his purposes precisely, for the object he had in view. He was a very good auimal to look at, but needed everything else that goes to make up a good horse. By dint of good feeding and grooming, Dick soon had him in first-rule trading order ; and, one day, he went down to Wehoga, when he knew there would be a crowd there, in cluding Calvin aud his father. He was very careful not to expo e. any of the infirmities of his charger to the public gaze, but stopped in a conspicuous place and Waited the coming of his victim. When the latter came, they met on friendly terms, took a drink together, and appeared to be on the most amicable terms. During the day, Dick learned that Calvin had a first-rate horse, rather weak-eyed, but on the whole, a good ‘un to go and he also observed that both Calvin and his father paid a visit or two J.87&- flistened, which they seemed ta be pretty well pletfesd with. As evening osiue on, Dick seethed to be for taking eu a good drunk, he and Calvin vieing with eaoh other to see which should treat oftenest aud driuk most. A close observer, how ever, might have noticed that Dick was drinking but little, and that his drunken ness was all a sham, but Johns was too drunk himself to notice anything of the kiud, and was too fond of whiskey to refuse any that was offered him. After the drinking had been carried on very indusiriously during most of the afternoon, the subject of herae-swapping was introduced, aud Dick soon found that Johns was keen for a trade. Os bourse he was equally anxious, and they were not long m striking a bargain. Then they took a drink all round, and ek chasged saddles, and Dick prepared to go home. While he was saddling his new animal, Calvin’s father came up and remarked confidentially : “That’s a good horse, Dick, if he had good eyes.” “Good Lord 1” said Dick, “is his eyes weak ?” “Weak os branch water at the end of a drouth !” replied Johns, who knew that Dick would never break a trade after it was concluded. “Why iu the thunder didn’t you tell me sooner ?” asked Dick, with apparent wrath. “I never break up a trade,” replied the other. “Es you take good care of him he’s all right, but es you blow him too hard, he can’t see a fodder stack in a month. But he'll do to trade on, as you say, and that’s a darned sight moro'n I can say for the other?” he -muttered, as he started homeward. As soon as he was out of sight of Johns, he turned iu some thick woods, and hid himself to watch Calvin's departure. The latter was in high spirits, and after taking another drink, mounted his now acquisition, re marking : “Well, boys, I guess I’ve about knoeked Dick's hind sights clean off this time. Ten dollars and a hotter boss ain’t so bad.” So saying, he stuck spurs to his animal and started up the rond.—Just before bim was a small log, and wheu the horse reached that he struck it with all his feet and fell about u rod, sending Calvin over his head, aud nearly turning a somersault on top oi him. “Well,” said he, as soon as he could regain his feet, “I’m blam’d es you or me don’t have to be* made over el you make another lunge like that. What iu the diugnation do you mean by it, any how ?” “Try him on the good road, Cal.,” suggested his father. Cal. mounted and slowly walked him twenty or thirty paces up the road, then turned and started at a brisk gallop. The horse made a few very good steps, then got his feet tangled and spread himself around promisoonsly, while his rider weut off on his all-fours in a patch of briars. “What in thunder’s the matter with the brute ?” inquired he, getting on his feet and going back to liis liorse, who was breathing like a steamboat in low water, while his sides were thumping as if the long roll was being sounded iu his iuside department. “Nothing’s the matter with him,” re marked a bystander, “only he’s bellussed, an’ wind-broken, an’ foundered, an, bad ly swinnied, an’ slightly stifled.” “It ’pears to me, Cal., ’ remarked the old man, “that he’s gone an' got it done to yon this load o’ poles.” “I wouldn’t care a cuss,” said Calvin, “es thar was arry boss factory about so’s I could have him made over, or turned in to a bull yearlin’, or somethin’ else that I could find some use for.” “There’s no use of frettin’ about it,” said his father, “Dick’s one too many for you, au’ you may as well lead your colt home.” There was no help for it' and taking the hrible in 1 is hand, Calvin proceeded mournfully homeward, swearing for com pany as he went, whilst the old man occasionally threw in a broadside by way of variety. When they were gone, Dick emerged from his hiding place, with a broad grin on his face, which widened and deepened as lie reflected on Galvin’s oodition,- till he broke intoa loud guffaw. “Well,” said he, “it’s better’n a circus to see Cal.* leadin' that old sham home, an’ lookin’ as solemn as a preacher at a rich man’s funeral 1 Ido hope he’ll try to bear his trials with Christian forti tude !” and Dick langhed loud and long at the picture. It was the last trade he ever had the i pportunity of making with that party, though he laughs till yet, when he tells about Calvin’s looks as he got up from his ground and lofty toggle. A single letter of Robert Burns sold in London at auction for £29. Iu it he says he is determined to p»osecnto poet ry with all his vigor, as lie believes the kna-'k and apptitude to learn the muse’s trade is a divine gift. Six persons in Newton county draw pensions from the government on account of services rendered in the war of and two on account of injuries received in the war with Mexico. SwiQg the'Toothache. - I have seen men who would jump up and down aud call everybody liars aud abnae their wives, aud swear au oath as laqge as an ,o'd fashined out-door pven amply because they had the toothache. Watkins is one of those sort of meu. He just gets comfortable around the stave, with a paper iu one hand and a pan of apples in the other, wheu whoop she goes. It seems as if someone had fired a bullet into his jaw, and he leaps up and down kicks out behind aud grubs at his face. “Now, Watkins do be patient 1” says his wife, as she runs after cottou aud camphor. He holds his mouth open and she puts the having, soaked it with cam- ' phor. He gets a swallow of the liquid, which goes down the wrong pipe, aud he gives a yell aud a suort and his eyes stick out like the wallet of a backpay Con gressman. “Oh ! now, Watkins, dou’t be so awful fractious 1” i he says, in a soothing voice, locking on the floor for the ootton. “Fractious !” ho yells, “you could’ut bear it a second ! It would kill fourteen women in a minute !’’ It gets a little easier as he holds his face to the stove, and lie a'most smiles as he remembers the pain of a moment ago. He is convinced that some men would have torn the house right down, and lie is a very patient man. Mrs. Watkins takes up her knitting again and proceeds to narrow the 'heel, when Wat kins giveß another sudden yell, “Oh ! honey, 6h, my stars 1” he shouts, as he danoes around on one foot, with his teeth hard shut. “Samuel, you should not take au oath,” says the wife, in a reproving tone. “Remember that the wicked shall not live out half—” “Live the old Satin 1” he roara, strik ing his ears against the stove. “Get a mustard plaster ; aud a bag of ashes, and some peppermint, and some laudanum 1” The patient Mrs. Watkins i ays that there isn’t any mustard, or peppermint., or laudanum in the house, and that she doesn’t beleive a bag of ashes would do any good. “Don’t you remember my brother William ?” she asks. “In the fall of '57 he had just such a time as this aud nothing would—” “Shut up !” rears Wat-'ins, trying to stuff some cotton * into the hole in his tooth. “What do I care about your brother Bill?” The smarting of his ear eases the tooth a little, and Watkins begins to hope that it is all over. The pain dies away and a broa l grin covers his face. Borne meu would have routed the whole neighbor hood and had the fire-alarm sounded, hut he had been very patient. “Samuel, did you see that Johny put the white oow in the east lot; and the black ox in the—” “Black devils !” whoops Watkins ; as the nerve jumps again. “Hang the block cow, and the white lot and the east ox, aud you, too 1 Oh my tooth 1 I shan’t live three minutes 1” “Oh! now, Samuel!” entreats Mrs. Watkins, trying to pat him on the back. “Oh, hang it 1 dung I” he yells back. “I’m an old sinner if I don’t murder somebody 1” About every third night, Watkins has one of these spells. He used to send for me until one night I suggested that he should go to the dentist, and after the dentist had cat around the tooth aud jobbed a wire against the nerve and let his forceps slip off once or twice, he would worry the old stubb out or break it off. My little speech went right to his heart, and as I slid ont doors both his boots struck the front gate. Some Things We Never Saw, We never yet saw a man but what would pass off his ragged money first. They likewise give scraps to the poor and then give their consciences credit for dispensing choice outs, We never saw a little girl just learning how to put on her stockings, but what she invariably got the heel part of tbe stocking on the top of her foot, and then cried. We never saw a big girl put on her stockings at all, but we suppose they wear them. In fact we beli»vo they do. We never saw a stout, heaithy man hanging around a grocery door waiting for somebody to treat, and cussing the •niggers because they wouldn’t work, but what we felt sorry for that man—sorry that lightning wouldn’t strike him. We never saw a boy with a stone bruise on his foot that kept him from school, but what could make things howl with an Alabama sling. Ca’verv cemetery, New York, averges fifty funerals a day. * The gold interests of- North Georgia are exciting much attention just now. A “fast train” made Ban Francisco from New York in 26 minutes less thau 81 hours. There is a man in Monroe oounty who can drink ten gallons of water daily and suffer no inconvenience. Onslow Steams and E. H. Rollins are Republican candidates for United States Senator from New Hampohire. Princlfy Incomes.' KuvnnoaH Wealth, us QwucrT*fy the Great if liter Mine a. [Correspondence N. Y. Sun.] The yield of the Consolidated Virginia miue in March last was $3,334,298,29. Tiiase figures are official, as I got them from Mr Taylor, principal bookkeeper. Since’the mine commenced paying divi dends ibi stockholders have received $20,- 001,000 in round numbers. The Cali fornia wipe, the ri best known mine in world, paid its first monthly dividend ! on the loth instant, 31,080,090, or two i dollais per share for each of its five lmn- | tired and forty thousand shares. These : two mines pay monthly dividends of $2; 160,000. I harming in Only, the Cnl ifotuia miue is expect. and to pay it uftfith ly dividend of three dollars per share, or 1 81,620,01X1 monthly. The present price ; per share of these stocks is respectively : j California, eighty dollars ; Consolidated Virginia, seventy-three dollars. Like ah mining stocks they are subject to start liug fluctuations. The knowing one , however, do not look for any material changes in the prices of these two stocl s this summer. It is not altogether a mat ter of .speculation with regard to these mines. What ore they contain is pretty closely ascertained. At. preseut there is enough first-class ore therein to keep the mines going for at least three veuis. Col. Fair, superintendent, is now erect iug anew eighty-stamp mill, in addition to the numerous mills already possessed by himself and partuers. When this is finished you’ll hear of some unparalleled results from tile Bona izi nin >s. Fair j expects to turn out five hundred thous and dollars a month. He cun do it. It is only a question of milling facilities. There is no lack of ore. In view of the stupendous wealth of these mines the question often occurs to j me : What will be the eventual limit of : the we alth of the four gentlemen pop. - larly known as the "Bonanza Kiugs »” Pejple who have.watched their fortunes with critical eyes aver that they are now worth in money and property upward of $100,000,600. It is a common remark here that Maekay has an income of SBOO,- 000, gold, a mouth. Since the Califor nia mines commenced paying dividends it must have added at least $150,000 to his monthly income. . I think I may say that his monthly ipcome is in round numbers, a million us dollars. James G. Fair's income is not less than $600,000 a month ; Flood’s $750,000; O Brien s SoOO,OiXI. Now, here are fonr men with a gross incoru'.' of nearly $3,- 000,000 a month, every one of them hard-working, practical business men. Witli $100,000,000 ahead already, and a yearly ineome of 36,000,000, I think it is safe to put them down in January, 1879, as the richest quartette in the world. The question is frequently asked, What will Maekay do with his fortune ? People seem to forget that the more money a man has the more uses he finds for it. Os all the people on this coast, Maekay himself is the least anxious about find ing a use for his money. I notice in the letters of correspon dents a widespread error in regard to all these men. It is generally believed by eastern people who have read of the wonderful fortunes of the “Bonanza Kings,” that they have been acquired within the last year, and that none of them were comfortably fixed before the developments of the consolidated Virginia mine. This is all n mistake. Flood and O’Brien were worth 200,000 ten years ago, anil they have kept adding to it ever since. Fair was worth half a million «eveil years ago, aud Maekay was a mil lionaire long before the consolidated Vir ginia mine was dreamed of. 1 make these corrections for tbe benefit of such innocents as th'uk the millionaire quar tettuo have nothing to do but throw twenty-dollar gold pieces at every person who takes it into his or her head to write begging letters to them. It would not be believed there are such arraut 100 s in the world as some of the letters received here prove their writers to be. Money is asked for by the people hundreds, aye thousands of miles away on ever v con ceivable pretense. For instance, a Wash ington woman wrote Maekay recently that her daughter had been slandered, and she requested him to forward fifteen hundred dollars to hire counsel to take the matter into the courts. And this is but one of hundreds of applications that come here every week for from one to ten thousand dollars. People who con template “striking” the Bonanza Kings would do well to think better of it. There are 25,525 idiots .n the United States, August Belmont is sa : d to be worth $10,000,000. Santa Anna is poor, livos in a cheap house, and is partly blind. In three years Burke county has paid an •indebtedness of $82,000. There are 70,000 children living on boats in England, who receive no educa tion. The North Carolina Democratic Con vention nominated Z. B. Vance for Gov ernor. L A«lvern«unjf Untex. One square, first, insertion $ l <y> Each Kubaeqneat insertion 7 > One square three months.,.... 10 Ol ! »s«•*»'rt*«M*hs 7.7." is ». One square twelve months....* -Jo 01 Quarter column twelve months 40 on Half column six menfhs.., i;o i o Half eolu;.wi twelve months no 1 Owrcolrrmn twelve mouths (rt Sniptlered a semm e All fractions of squares art counted full . rt-s i — ■ ■ • How I was Sgld. Bt M.VItK TWAIN. You may remember that I lectured re : cently for the yonug of the ! Clayouian Soc ety ? During the afternoon ! of that day I was talking with one of the j young gentlemen referred to, aud lie : saiu he had an uncle, who from some j cause or other, seemed to have grown permanently bereft of all emotion, and j with tears in Ins eves, this young man i said : “Oh, if I could only see him j laugh once im#e ! Oh, if I could only see him weep !” I was touched. I could never withstand distress. I said : j “Bring him to my lecture. I’ll start him for yon.” “Oh, if you could but Ido if. a yon could do it, all onfr family i would bless you for evermore ; for he is ! very dear to us. Oh, my benefactor, can yon make him laugh ? Can you bring soothing tears to those parched orbs.” I was profoundly moved. I Baid : “My son, bring the old party around. I have got some good jokes in my lecture that will make him laugh if there is any laugh in him ; aud if they miss fire, I havu got some others that will make him cry or kill him, one or the other.” Then the young man wept on my neck and presently spread both bis hands on my head aud looked up toward Heavev, mnmbling something reverently; and : then w«ut after his uncle. Ho placed him in full view, in the second row of benches, that night, and I began on him. I tried him on mild jokes—then with se vere ones. I dosed him with bad jokes, ; and riddled him with good ones ; I old, stale jokes into him, and peppered him fore aud aft with red-hot new ones. I warmed up to my work, ands .sauHed him on the right and left, in front and behind ; I fumed, aud charged, and ranted, till I was hoarse and sick, and frantic and furious ; but I never rnovid him once—l never started a smile’ ' r tear ! Never a ghost of a smile, and lie' - era suspicion of moisture ! I was as tounded. I closed the lecture at last with one despairing shriek—with one wild burst of humor—and hurled a joke of supernatural atrocity full at him I Then I sat down bewildered and ex hausted. The president of the society came up aud bathed my head with col i water, ami said : “’What made you carry on so toward the last? I saiil, "I was trying to make that confounded old idiot laugh, in the s< . oud row. ” Aud he said, “Well, you wore wasting your time ; because he is deaf and dumb and as blind ns a badger.” Now, was that any way for that old man’s nephew to impose on a stranger aud an orphan like me ? A Texas Heroine. Houston (Texas) Age. There was a batch of convicts from some interior county seat awaiting the departure of the Great Northern cars to convey them on their melancholy jour ney to the prison walls of the penitenti ary at Huntsville. Among the rough, unshaven and crime-steeped physiogno mies that scowled from heneath greasy and tattered slouched hats, amid the clanking of their fetters and chains, w"g a rather handsome face of a young mr, whose open features betokened no traces of the branded felon. Near him stood—a strange companion for such a crowd—a fair young girl, scarcely passed her fourteenth year, whose long hair flowed down over her shoulders that had not yet felt the weight of time, and whose countenance was a living photograph of innocence and girl ish beauty. Upon inquiry it was ascertained that the young man had received a two years’ sentence for marrying a girl under the age prescribed by law after swearing she was of legal age, and that with the lofty and sacred devotion of true heroism his youthful bride, despite the entreaties of friends, was following him to his ig nominious prison, to share his captivity and lighten his punishment, provided the officers of the penitentiary can be prevailed on to permit her entrance. In the practice of turning card comers the upper left hand comer denotes “vis ite,” and is use J for an ordinary call; the upper right hand comer turned down means “felicitation,” aud is fora visit pf congratulations ; the lower left hand oorner, “couge,” represents a fare well call, and the lower right comer, “condolence,” expresses a desire to sym pathize with bereqyement. The rule most generally understood is the turning of one end of the card, which denotes a wish to see the ladies of the family. The lawyers of this country are said to coiit six times as much as the ministers; but there is more law thau religion in this country. A gentleman living near Augusta has | peaches and plums growing on the same | tree. The plum branches were grafted j on a peach tree. The outlay for the artistic and literary i features in Harper’s Magazine is esti mated to be over $70,000 a year.