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Volume VII.
"White & Combs,
ißcsnffie jtnraal.
PUBUSHBB EVERY WEDNESDAY.
.#***! g*
TEH MS, - - 81.00 A YEAR.
A<lvt*rtiwiij{ Rates.
One square, first in.-wrtioli 100
Each (Wlixequost insertion.,,is 70
One sqnsae th*ee months 10 00
One sqnnre si* mouths,, 10 00
One square twelve
Quarter column tivelye months, 40 00
Half column six months 00 00
Half coln: in twelve months 7r> 00
eoSisiSereil a square
AU fructions of squares are counted as full
square*, fc >QQ yT -
IHJSI N ESS CARDS.
Thomas e. watson,
AUoruo.v rat Law,
/|>f;; THOMSON, GA.
•WOfficewt-tbi* Court-honse.
R. W. H . NEAL,
A TTORNF.Y A T I.A IE,
A K D N O T A I. V PUB I. 10,
THOMSON, OA.
A\ r ILL practice in the Comte of
T i MoDiiffio ami adjoining Counties.
WBo*VBTAKerSo a specialty.
H. C. RONEY,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
THOMSON, GA.
Will practice in the Augusta, North
em rvnti Middle Circuits. nolyl
PAUL C. HUDSON,
ATTORNEY AT LA W,
Thom Non, tin.
Will practice in the Superior Court* of
the Augusta, Northern ami Middle Circuits,
and in the flnnrorae Court, and will give
attention to all eases in liaukruptey.
Aug. 2."., 1‘74. tf
fill hotel;
Charleston, S. C.
(1. T. ALFOItD <t CO.,
Kate*, fit.t.OO per day Proprietors.
ALBERT IIAPE,
NoB-llONtlviit OeutiNl,
n
V AN still la* found ready to attend to the
want* of old and new patrons, if deaiiwd, t
their residences.
Will alao, as heretofore, practice in adjoin
ing comities Panic prices insured and all
"work warranted.
Office at the residence of \V. K. Spcir.
Phmse address by letter, at Thomson, Ga.
'Central §jdel,
MRS. W. M. THOMAS.
AUGUSTA, GEORGIA
sepl 111
at bomo - Agents wanted.
VI & Outfit and terms free. TIiUE fc
CO., Augusta, Maine.
■BMBgEBCTaISBMAtoAM.H.-n
Teffel DOUBLE i
l Address. POOLE & HUNT*
SEND *:*. to G. P. ROWELL & CO.,
New York, for Pamphlet of KM* pages,
containing liate of MOO newspapers, and
estimates showing cost of adveitiding.
A. T. ROGERS,
£UK 6 LOCK SMITH,
(Railroad Bt., opposite J. E. Benton’s)
THOMSON, GEORGIA.
ALL work done m the best manner at a
reasonable price, and warranted to give
satisfaction. Special attention given to
FITTING KEYS & REPAIRING LOCKS.
Give me a call and be convinced. Pow
der .shot, caps, wads, cartridges, Ac., for
sale. atig. 2ft-tf.
For Kale.
A LOT, ftliont t acres, mors or less, io
■tr> corporation. fine cottage hoiiao, kitch
en and dining room, fine well water, house
built on latent style. For terms apply to
JNO. B. WILSON.
Jan. 177.tf.
Jrmclj J&torf,
J. RIVAL, Proprietor,
t*;iO et,
(nnder Cer ly al Hot* i,)
AUGUSTA, GEORGIA.
[fruits, toys, CANNED GO**S,
NUTS, CBACXERH,
FINE GKOCEBIES,
ICE CREAM, CANDY
CS*Choice Oaken baked daily.
ORDERS FOR WEDDINGS SOLICITED.
fLc * J. Rl> AL.
THE DJEtEAMEB.
All day tlie white-haired woman sits
Beside the open door, and knits;
No living thing her dim eye sees.
As. busy with old memories,
She dreams her dream of what has been.
And knits her old-time fancies in.
She thinks of those who long ago
Went out acioss the threshold low.
How many times her listening ear
Has brought familiar footsteps near,
And she has started up to fiudg^
A dead leaf rustling in the wind*
But never as of those who lie
Beneath the wide and tender BKy.
[ With folded hands on quiet breast,
I AU wrapped about with peace and rest,
She thinks of them. For her they tread
; green with Jjei*. degd-
Though years have fallen like the leaves
Above the graves where summer weaves
Her grass-fringed coverlet, to keep
Safe hid from us the ones asleep,
She sees them all. Nor grass nor mould
Con hide the ones she loved of old.
She talks with them when brown-winged
bees
Make merry in the locust trees.
She thinks he comes apd sits with her
Whose voice was love’s interpreter.
O. dreamer ! young again to-day,
What matter if your hair is gray ?
Sometimes she thinks that round her knee
Her children play in happy glee;
And when they tired and sleepy grow
•She sings some song of long ago ;
And on her loving mother-breast
She rocks her little ones to rest.
O, dreamer! knitting all the day
Your dreams in with your stitches gray,
Yonrs is a happy, happy heart—
A haunted world from ours apart—
The years that turned your tresses gray
Have given you blek you! youth to-day.
UNDER THE SEAT.
'Smoking car, sir Y asked tlio tip
cxpecting porter, as ho boro my
rugs and minor packages along the
platform. I said ves, nnd he made
me comfortable, and received his
dime. Then (lie guard eamo to
look after my well boing, but got
nothing more than innocent grati
tude, which was perhaps all he !
desired. I have no doubt that I did
him injustice in attributing his
effort* to induco a fat old gentleman
with a cough ; a lean old gentleman
enveloped in wraps, tho lower part
of whose faco was covered up like a
female Turk's, an evident window
shutter, to enter my ca. in order I
to spite me.
Duty to his employers ulinej
made Lim. endeavor to fill- up, but:
the anxiety to get as much room as I
possible for my money was strong j
witlun mo, and stirred uncharitable
suspicions. 1
You may lead a horse to the
water or an anti-nicotinian old gen
tlcman to a smoking-car, but you
can’t make him get in ; and when
each in turn put his head into
my compartment, ho jibbed, for
some late occupants of it had been
cigar, not pipe smokers, and it was
rather strong. So I was apparently
left alone—alone with all the comic
weeklies, and a modern poem.
The doors wore banged to, th--:
engine whistled, the train began to
move. It would not stop again till
wo got to Peterborough, so that I
was safo to be undisturbed so far.
There were several scats, and I
could occupy as many of them as a
limited number of members per
mitted. I almost wished myself an
Octopus, to Lake full advantage of
the situation. Calming down, I
hung up my bat, put on a gaudy
piece of needlework won in a bazaar
raffle, lit my pipe, cut my papers,
! and began to enjoy myself.
I sat in the left-hand eorner, with
my back to the engine, absorbed in
a big lawsuit. It is great fun to
road a cross-examination, and watch
how a clover lawyer will make an
honest man perjure himself. “It
reads almost like a cri me,” I re
marked aloud, “but then it is an
honorable, lawful and beneficial
crime. Soldiers kill people's bodies,
lawyers kill people’s reputations,
all for the good of society in the
long run.”
While I was uttering the word
“run," my ankles were graspod
suddenly and firmly ; then, before I
could recover from the shock, they
were jerked backward under the
seat with such force that I was
thrown forward sprawling. I tried
to rise, but my right wrist was
seized, and the arm twisted till I
was helpless, and presently I found
myself on the floor of the ear, face
downward, a sharp knee being
scientifically pressed into the small
of my back, both arms fixed behind
me. My elbows wore tied together, I
and then the knee was removed,
and my ankles were secured. Dur
ing the latter operation I kicked
and struggled.
‘llum'!.’ said a delibciate voice,!
‘that will be awkward. Lots see;
these will do.’
‘These’ were my stick and urn
brilla; which someone preceded to
apply as splints to the backs of my
legs, using the Btraps which had
kept them in a bundle to fix them
at the ankle and above the knee.
When ho had done, I was as help,
loss as a trussed turkey.
-I MAP 01 SUSY LIFE: IT$ FL I*TTA TJ ONS AN I) ,7T S VAST CONCERNS:’
Then I was turned over carefully
and tenderly, and for the first time
saw my assailant.
Ho was a gentlemanly looking
man. well dressed in black coat and
waistcoat, gray trowsers nnd neck
cloth. His hair and whiskers were
just turning grizzly, his chin and
upper-lip were clean shaved. His
forehead was high, his eyes promi
nent and fixed in their expre-sion,
his nose aquiline, his mouth a slit.
Ho was of middle height, sparo but
wiry; indeed, his muscles must have
been ,exceptionally Mastic and feline,
fW yon wfetftd fieOer havo’thotfght}
to look at him, that ho could stow
himself away under the seat of a
railway ear so c xmplcly.
Ho contemplated mo with his
chin in his right hand, and his
right eibow on his left hand, and
said thoughtfully. ‘Just so. All
for the good of society in tho long
run—an admiriablc sentiment, my
dear sir ; let it be a oonsolotion to
yon, if I should cause you any little
annoyance.’
He took a shagreen spectacle
ease from his pocket, wiped the
glasses carefully with a silk hand
kerchief, and adjusted them on his
nose. Then ho produced an oblong
box, which ho unlocked, and placed
on one of tho seats. After which
ho sat down quickly in tho place I
had occupied a few minutes before,
a position which brought him close
over my head and chest, as I lay
supinely and helpless at his feet.
‘Do you know anything of anato
my ?’ ho asked. I was as completely
in his power, ns a witness in tho
cross-examining counsel’s, and pru
denco dictated that I should be
equally ready to answer the most
frivolous and impertinent questions
with politonoss. I said that I did
I not.
i ‘Ah !'said he,‘well, perhaps you
J have heard of tho spleen ? Exactly.
| Now, science has never yet boon
able to find out the use oft: it
j organ, and tho man who bequeaths
! that knowledge to posterity, would
rank with tlio discoverer of tho
I circulation of the blood, nnd confer
| an inestimable bono/it on humanity
I for the remainder of the world's
j lease. I propose to dissect you.'
‘You will ryU get much glory by*
1 lliflt,’ I said, forcing myself to seem
Ito take this outrageous practical
j-’ke in good part. ‘An ungrateful
generation may or may not profit
by your discoveries, but it will
infallibly bang you.’
‘Not so,’ ho bluntly replied. ‘I
am a surgeon, who once had a very
considerable practice, but I had to
stand my trial for an experiment
which proved fatal, on one of my
patients. The jury, unable to
understand the sacrifices which an
earnest enquirer is ever ready to
offer at the shr no of science, de
clared me mad, and I was placed in
confinement. You see that I can
act with impunity.’
And lie opened the box. I broke
; out in a cold sweat. Was it all real?
| Could the man be in earnest? ‘But,’
i said I, ‘surely you can get dead
bodies to dissect without having
recourse to a crime ? And again,
if generations of anatomists have
failed, in twenty thousand investi
gations, to discover the use of the
spleen—if you yourself have always
i failed hitherto, why should you
supposo that this one attempt
should bo more successful than the
others ?’
‘Because, my dear sir,’ said the
the man, with a smile of one who
has caught a bright idea, ‘all former
investigations, including my own,
have been mado on dead subjects,
whilo I propose to examine your
vital organs with a powerful mag
nifying glass, whilo they are ex
ercising their normal functions.’
‘What!’ I gasped. ‘You will
never have the barbarity’—and
here my voice choked.
‘Oh yes, I have conquered that
prejudice against inflicting suffering
which is natural to the mind en
feebled by civilization. For many
ycars I secretly practiced vivisec
tion upon animals; I once had a
cat, an animal very tenacious of life,
under my scalpel for a week. But
we have no time to waato in con
versation. You will not ho put
to any ncedjoss suffering; these
instruments ore not my own, blunt
ed lor want of use; I took the
precaution of borrowing the case of
the gentleman under whose care I
have been plated, ; before making
my escape.’
While speaking thus, he took liie
hideous little glittering instruments,
and examined them one by ono.
They were of various appalling
shapes; and I ga?.ed upon them
with the horrible fascination of a
biWl under yhc power of a snake. |
Of one only? could I tell the use; a ;
thin trenqiant blade, which cut j
you almost to look at. lie knelt : |
THOMSON, GA.JrEB RTTA 7. 1877.
across mo, arrangod his implements 1
on tho scat at his right; laid a not&
book, pencil, and his watch on that
to his left, and took off my neckclotl,
and collar, murmuring: 'The clothes
are very much in my way; I wish
that you were properly prepared
: for tho operation.’
It Unshod across me in my despair |
that I had heard of madmen boing |
foiled by an apparent acquiescence
iu their murderous intentions.
‘After all,’ 1 forced myself to say,
‘what is one life to tho bonefit df'j
the human race? Sinco mine iU
demanded by "keteihee, Tet me aid
you. Remove these bonds and
allow mo to take off my coat and
waistcoat.
Ho smiled, and shook his heifA.
‘Lifeis sweet; I will not trust
you,’ ho said, unfastening my waist
coat, and turning back tho lapels
as far as he could. Thon taking a
pair of scissors, he proceeded to cut
my shirt front away, so that pres
ently' my chest was bared to his
experiments. Whother l closed
my eyes, or was soizod with vertigo,
I do not know, but for a moment
or two I lost sight of everything,
and lmd visions; a sort of grote-qe
nightmaro it was, the figures in
which I recall but very indistinctly,
but I remembor that tho most
prominent of them was a pig, or
rather a porker, hanging up outside
of a butcher’s shop, the appearance
of which bore a mysterious resem
blance to myself. These delirious
fantascs wore dispelled by a sharp
pang; tho anatomist hud made a
first slight incision. I saw his calm
face leaning ovor mo; tho cruel
blade with which he was about to :
make another and a deeper cut; his j
fingers, already crimson with my j
my' blood ; and I struggled frauti- i
cally. My operator immediately !
withdrew his armed hand, and stood :
erect. Then, watching his oppor
tunity, he placed his right foot on
the lower part of my breast-bono,!
so that by pressure bo could suf-,
locate me.
‘Listen, my friend, he mid, ‘I will j
endeavor not to injure any vital
organ, biA iffyou wriggle Knft, tj
shall not be able to avoid doing so.
Another thing, if you ’
Ho was interrupted by threo
sharp whistles from tho engine, so
shrill and piercing as to drown his
voice.
‘lmpedo me by thcso absurd
convulsivo movements, T shall bo
compelled to sever those muscles
which ’
He novor completed his sentence.
There was a mighty shock, a crash
as if all tho world had rushed to
gether. I was shot under tho seat,
where I lay uninjured, and in safety,
amidst the most h rriblo din—
breaking, tearing, shrieking, cries
for help, and the roar of escaping
steam.
I had strained tho bonds which
secured my elbows in my struggles,
and tho jerk of the collision snap-j
ped them ; so that when I began to j
get my wits together, I found my
hands free. To libcr.ito my legs,
was then an easy matter, but not
so to extricate myself, tho next j
thing I set about. The whole top
of the car, from where the stuffed
cushion part ends was carried sheer
waay ; ana amidst the debris which
encumbered my movements lay the
mangled and decapitated body of
the madmr.n who, intending to as
sail my life, had, by keeping me at
the bottom of the car saved it.—
E'nglish Magazine.
(Sixty Ybabs Aoo.—Tho year
1816 was the most rcmarkablo year
on* record. According to the Sa
vannah Nows, sixty years ago oc
curred ‘the year without a sum
mer.’ Frost occurred in every
month of the year 1816. Ice form j
ed half an inch thick in May; snow
fell to the depth of ten inches in
Vermont, seven in Maine, three in
the intorior of New York, and also
in Massaehusets in June, ice was
formed of the 1 hickness of common
window glass throughout Now king
land, New York asd some ports of
Pennsylvania on the slh of .July.
Indinn eorn was bo frozen that the
gr- ater part wan cut down and dried
for ioddcr in August, and Jurtnorn
supplied from the corn prod ucedi in
1815 for the seed for the spring- o £
1816.
Gen. James Shield*, the new ad
jfitafit general of Missouri-; was shot
through the body with a grape shot
at the battle of Corro Gordo, dur
ing the Mexican wur, and a-large
silk handkerchief was drawn
through his body to c-lbuo, the
wound. Ho afterward scrVcd a term !
as United States Senator from Illi- j
nois, and then aS a major general
during the- civil war- b). tjjft 'iuion 1
nviiiy.
Ii BY THE WAY.
.Trn.rrc is no End I The sun’s last ray
l-j! glides in tint golden west.
fßds but to dawn in brighter day
Above some mountain crest.
| The tight that for us slowly dies,
f Gladdens with dsy some ottyr eyes.
“tjlierli is no End I The hpnrs that steal
V Hop. from some loving heart,
New Joys to other lives reveal,
And love’s bright dreams impart.
y ’file last- day for earth'h weary child
VGhi dawning life has sweetly smiled.
iueip is no End! The restless tide
i Sweeps on forevermore,
I Aatf “ singing of the ocean wide,
I Tf /f* breaks upon tho shore.
' tide across the deep
sweep.
Shading Portraits by Telegraph, .
The Faria-correspondent..of tho
Standard writes: “It has
said that the science of
is as yet only in its infan-
hat it will do whon it roaches
maturity it will bo diffi
cult t'o say certainly, hut some idea
mayfbo formed from an extraordi
nary telegraphic discovery just
made: iu Paris. It appears that
some i inventor has found out tho
roeanjt of sending porlrails by tele
graph, The modus operandi has
not yet been disclosed, but expoii
roentsiave been rondo, and—if wo
are ioAulievo the papers—with com
plete Recess. The trial was made
by authorities of Paris
and JIAHjj. The portrait of a Ly-
Ol i0%! : ill was forwarded from Par
is py ftuj now telegraphic appura
tulfaiifl at*otico recognized. In re
turn the Lyons police telegraphed
to Paris die portrait, accompanied
with thp usual description, of n
j clerk who bad absconded with his
■ mastery-money, and that tho Paris
i police, thunks to tho tclon£ii|4f(i
poitrait, were enabled to arrest the
; thief on his alighting from tho train
avtbo Ly,-o railway station. Thcso
facts fire pul ’ishod on the best nn
| tborily, and, incredible as it may*
seem,/ire irp doubt authentic. So
! fur the injjotii xus discovery is only
being employed for the detection of
’Criminals, b.y. it is, evident that the
police aut.hi V, ies will ixot bo ablo to
*vi. aud that, j’ will be
9
11.11. !■ y TnTMioyiKNH
jjxvcis, and silnilar iutorosling bo
logs.” |
A Kjansas Hero.
The stickfu l of information in the
Associated Press dispatches, con
cerning the recent coal initio fire at
; Hlogo, Kansas, conveys hut a stingy
idfea of tho honors attending the
eyfcnt, as rclaPed by the local papers.
The fire brute out about noon, and
when first discovered tho main
shaft of the) mine was in a blaze,
with thirty-two men and hoys nt
work 'beyond and beneath tho
flames, nearly forty feet below tho
level of the earth. In a few minutes
the whole population of the pfaco
i rushed t?> the scene, and a thousand
j or more men, women arid children—
tho relatives, friends mid neighbors
of tho entombed miners—were
gathered at the mouth of the burn
| ing shaft, stupefied with fear and
1 anguish. All the wells in town had
| nearly run dry weeks before, and
'scarcely enough water could be
obtained to subduo the boat above
the ground, much less to arrest the
conflagration irisido tho mine. Thus
matters stood for two awful hours,
when a railroad engine arrived with
a full tank, which was hurriedly
emptied into the shaft, and a great
shout of hope wont up from the
people. At this juncture a man
emerged, like a spectre, from tho
blaze and smoke, and fell in a swoon
Trt-tfrt! of the shalt. An
hour Inter two more men cried up
through tho flames for help, and a
| ladder was lowered to them, on
which they mado their way to the
top, and were dragged forth alive,
but bumod and blackened beyond
recognition. Throe were now saved,
hut tv'enty-nine- others wore still
below, and tho fire was not yet
under control. Tho terrified crowd
stood aghast for ivfcw minutes, and
then suddenly a panic of despair
s 'emeu to neizo them, the strifled
moans of tho women'and children
breaking out afresh, and the nusn
drawing hack from the mine with
blanched and averted faces.
The supfenve rnumeut of the
emergency had como, and the one
mar. to meet it was there, thank
God, as ho always iA. His name
tb is time was Marks l —William
Marks —awl ho stepped to the front
with tho promplno s arid the mod
esty of a true hero. “Fasten a ropo
around m.-and let me down into
the shaft,* said he. Tho proposition
was appalling, bu.t tho quiet courage
of tho man lied- evouy tongue and
.stifled the agony' of the tremulous
1 <;!:■■> ,vdy a tygoiul Providence.
Down he went into the horrible
cavern, without another word, and,
reaching tho bottom, freed himself
for his search in tlio entries diverg
ing from tho main At almost
the first step into the stifling dark
ness ho stumbled upon tho inanimate
form of one of the minors in a coal
ear, which ho pushed to tho en
trance, secured the rope around the
body, called to those above to hoist
away, and in a moment the /nan
was safo. Further search soon
revoalod the woreabouts of the re
maining twenty-eight, . nod slowly
•but surely Marks piloted them to
the mouth* of tho mine and deliver
ed them, one by one—many insen
sible, but all alive—out of tho jaws
of death into the hands of their
wives nnd children. Then, when
tho last ono had been rescued, he
eamo himself to tho surface, scorched
and blinded, and nearly suffocated,
and stood there silently among the
the cheering townspeople, tho mas
ter of the situation.
Thus the peril was surmounted
without any srerifice of life ; but
tho heroism was thore all the same.
Tho rescue of tho helpless minors,
and tho osenpo of tho man who
gave death scorn to save jtbem,
spoiled tho perfection of a tragedy ;
hut tho destruction of all concerned
could not havo added to tho radi
onco which belongs to tho superb
and unselfish bravery of William I
Marks. Ho was only a common
workingman facing g duty to his
fellows ; hut ho met that duly like
a Roman monarch, and made grass
hopper Kansas splendid for one day
with his conquering courage. lie
probably novor hoard of Cato paus
ing, sword in band, to welcome
death; or Clooptra putting on a
crown to make a ro) nl ending; or
even of Hay’s Jim llludso, or llano’s
Flynn, of Virginia, lie merely saw
,nnd felt tlio iminont need of risking
one life to redeem twenty-nine other
lives, and coolly aeeoptcd the chal
lenge. He was tho right man in
tho light place at tho right time
May he live long and prosper.
■> Dotlr -Bo wp-feai^rtf Lasts?
frsWiioi, often we njebt wrfli a
case that exhibits any fear of death.
Take for instanco, men'condemned
to ho hung. In nino casos out of
ten you will find them “gnmo to the
last." Death, as a consequence of
iliseaso so benumbs intelligence that
wliou tho hour comes little fear is
exhibited. T venture to say that
no sano man or woman in perfect
health hut dreads death and fours
its summons; but disease and
trouble may so work upon our brain
that anything, even death, is wel
come as a change. Nature prepares
us for this. As the disenso weakens
our intellect, as pain grows more
intense, our desire for life grows
less; and my professional brethren,
I know of hut one instance where
the dying did not relinquish life \
without seeming reluctance or fijar. I
There are physical phenomo j
na attendant tho dying, many
of which vary according to the
several causes that produces it; yet
there is so nflicfi similarity in the
end that death, once witnessed can
novel' he mistaken again.
Among tho last physical signs is
a gradually diminished and weak
ened pulse, first booming imper
ceptible at the wrist and lastly at
tho breast; tho extremities grow
cold; the countenance changes as
tho venous blood courses the arte
ries ; the vessels relax ; the skin
grows clammy ; the palate drops;
the (luid accumulates in the wind
pipe, producing tho death rattle as
the air posses through ; the breath
becomes short and finally ceases,
and physical death is complete.
Now, as the red blood leaves
the brain, the judgement is impair
ed ; the sense deficient; speech
wandoring and incoherent' “-Last
words" mean but little; though
often construed to mean more- than
intended—in fact, thore is scarcely
anything intended The expression
“it grows dark” or “more fight”
comos from ibo lack of stinulous in
tho optic nervo. Strange sights
appear before Iho clouded visions ;
strange sounds may bo heard as
the circulation and stimulation
leaves tho auditory nerve. Hence
we have no troublo in explaining
most of the ludlufcihuCtons of the
dying, and that from natural causes.
After those piincipTcs of life or
animation leave the body, we have
but a mass of putraffic*ion. A friend
onco so dear becomes an object of
loathing; and so ends tho career of
our mortal existence. What may
be in i’no beyond is a mutter with
which Micro is so much mystery
that wo cannot undertake to say
what kind of existence remains for
tho life prinfiiptea yIW death.
„ Marriage.
r BY JOSH WHANGS. S
-Marriage iz a lair transact
the face of it.
But thore iz. quito too often put
up jobs in it.
it iz an old institushun older than
tho pry/indds, a nd az phull of hyro
glyphics that nobody can parse.
History holds its tongue who the
pair waz who first put on the silken
harnoss, and promised to work kind
in it, thru thjOk and thin, up hrlt
and down, and on the level, rain or
shine, aurvivd or perish, sink or
swim, drow* or flote.
But whoover they waz, they must
havo made a good thing ov It, or so
menny ov tbeir posterity would not
hov harnessed'up since and drove
out.
There Iz a great moral grip to
marriage; it iz the mortar tha*
holds the soshul brix together.
But thero ain,t but darn phew
pholks who put their money in
matrimony who could sit down and
give a good written opinyun whi on
earth they come to did it.
This iz grate proof that it iz ono
of them neutral kin;} ov akßidonts
that inuat Injjbyrn, •* birds fly
out ov tir-jießt when tha have
feathers enough without being able
to tell whi.
Sum marry for buty, and never
discuver their msstake ; this iz
lucky.
Sum marry for money, and don’t
see it.
Sum marry for pedigree, and foci
big for six months, nnd then very
sensibly com to tho konclusion that
podigrec ain’t no hotter than skim
milk.
Sum marry bokawse they have
bin hlstcd somewhere else ; this iz n
cross match, i bay and a sorrel ;
pride may'make it endurable.
Sum marry for love without a
cent in their pocket, nor a friond in
the world, nor a drop ov pedigree.
This looks desperate, but it iz the
strength of the game.
If marrying for love ain’t a sue
ev:ri. iz a^dedffcbot.
snin :;y becay,"i . thcy"ferin k"
wimmie will be skSvcc noTt year,
and livo to wonder how tho crop
holds out.
Sum marry tew gt rid ov them
selvos, and discover that tho gnmo
waz one two could 1 play at, and nei
ther win.
Sum marry the seeowd time tew
get even, and find it a gambling
gsrne—the more they put down the
loss they take up
Sum marry tow bo happy, and
not finding it, wonder whero all tho
happiness goes to when it does.
Sura many, they eau’t tell wbi,
and live they can't tell how.
Almost everybody gits married,
and it iz a good joke.
Sum marry in hasto, and then sit
down and think it,,.carefully over.
Sum think it over careful fust, and
! then set down and marry.
Both ways are right, if they hit
the mark. f *
Sum marry rakes tew convort
them. This iz a little risky', and
takes a smart Missionary tow do it.
Sum marry coquettes. This iz
like buying a poor fram heavily
mortgaged and working the balance
ov your days tew clear oph the
mortgages.
Married life haz its chances and
this iz just what gives it its flavor.
Everybody luvs tew phool with tho
chances bekaw'so every boddy ox
prks tow win. But I am author
ized to state that everybody don’t
w in-
But after all, married life fz fuff
az certain az the dry goods businoss
No man kan swear ezaktly
wlicio he will fetch up when ho
touches caliko.
No man lean teiit yist what caliko
haz made tup, its mind tow du next.
Caliko tksii’t know even herself.
There iz. bat few who never
marry bokawso they' won’t—they
all hankor, and most ov them starve
with bread Is fore them (spread on
both sides) jist for tho lack ov grit.
Marry yung! is mi motto.
If ennyhoiy asks you whi yau
got married tell him you don’t
reeoliekt.
Marriage is a safe way to gnmbie
—if yu win, you win a pili, and if
yu lozo, yu don’t iozo ennytUng,
only tho privilege of living disniully
alone and soaking your own fhe't.
1 repeat if, in italics, l&btmj
Young !
There iz but ono good eggskuse
for amarriage late in life, and that
iz—a second mfirriirgo.
Tho Edgar Thomson si eel works,
of Pittsburg, are having a shear
constructed that will weigli thirty
five tons. Ii is double acting; out
1 end is - cut hot .ateel
lhc other lo rut
TV umber O.
3?ropi*i et ors.
Kgs and the Hornets.'
Bogg wished to make
slight repairs on the top of
Wfs residonco near Cincinnati, and
for this purpose had occasion to tear
up a few shingles. In doing so iff it
quiet anil inoffensive manner, he was
astonished to find that he had dis
turbed a horneti/ nest. The hor
nfits swarmed out upon Mr. Boggs,
They made it hot for him at the
very first onset. Ho rushed to the
ladder, attacked from behind, whon,
hwrrdr of horrors fa neighbor had
borrowed his ladder! Mr.Boggs ca
vorted, he tumbled, he rolled from
one end of the roof to the other,’
screaming as ho went.
ladder 1” The hornets eontiffunfl'y
increased ; they flew at his nose, h*s
ears, his cheeks ; they danced on hi*
forehead ; they crawled down his
back : they flew up his breeches leg;
they met half way and fought ouch
other; they stung hero and thero
and everywhere. Boggs' wild ges
ticulations and terrific shouts n‘-
ti’aetcd the attention of tlx# whole
neighborhood. His friends mistook
the shouts of “Hornets!'’
for “Tilden and Hendricks," **4
thought lie was ratityini'g, But fft
much seriousness w** dfepPetcd on
his face llmt a ludder was finally
procured and a reseno effected. Mr.
Boggs is laid rp for rojJnirs now,
and his fnee looks like the newspa
per pietwves cf a defeated prize
fighter.
Singular >< effrdtST.—On Gn/
Fawkes’ day fiyo boys were st mut
ing around a bop tiro iu Manchester,'
Kng,, wfreiv suddenly a sharp sound
was heard liko the clapping of
hands, and one of tho lads, a boy
about fifteen yonrs obi, dropped
dead. On examination tho surgeon
found that a bullet had entered tho
boy’s head oxnetly at the fop, ]fch
etrated tho skull and brain three
inches downward, and then smash
ed the bones at tbe nose. Although
the bullet had been battorod to an
almost shapeless mass, tho govern,
moot mark upon it was clearly dt -
;i i , rpi i. ,t- t w.
" from ii rifiider rifle, a nit, as tho po
lice frequently complained that vol
unteers discharged their pioecs into
tho air, there was no doubt death'
had been caused through such cul
pable aaiidcssness and ignorance-.
The nvonremtum of a bullet falling'
half a mile is about equal to its ve
locity when Ared from tbe muzz Is*
of a gun.
Thirty years ago Texas entered’
tho Union as a State with 132,004)’
population, white, black nnd Moxi-’
can. To.dny she has 1,750,000 poj.
illation. At this rate of increase,
she would have in thirty years
hence half as many people n are
now in the United States. The ter
ritory is 264,000 square miles,
larger than Franco, Belgium, Bor
land, Switzerland and Portugal con -
bined, and better capable of sup
porting seventy millions of people
than avo those countries, as her soil
is richer and her climate better.
Mr. Russell Sage, since tho death
of Commodore Vanderbilt, bccoml s
more prominent as a Wall street
magnate. Ho began, life as a por
ter, made his way to a higher posi
tion, was elected aidermaui and
member of congress, owl then re
tired from polities to devote himsolf
to business. His wealth estimated
at $5,000 000, which the New York
Tribune says is more likely to he
under than over the taiilh.
Tho Countess <I<T Montijo hnA*
brought action against fifty-seven
French papers for alleging tho ille
gitimacy of the ex-empress Euge
nie, and as all tho damages are to
be given to local charities and the
libel is n clear due, the managers of
the clinrilios in 'qrtcstlon arc greatly
pleased.
Tho Now Orleans city*' railroad
receives fivo dollars a day in Coun
terfeit nieklos ami dimos. The
“rovenito" from this source is $!,-
825 per annum. The annual report
of the company states that <‘all el.
forts to arrest and punfsh 1 ’ the ma
kers seems to bo abandoned by both
state and federal authorities.
Over 24,000 masons weroniado in
North America last'year, and the -s
whole number, of affiliated masons
on the continent at this time ex
cecds 600,000,
Tho number of prisoners in tbe
Virginia Penitentiary has increased
in tho past year from 498 to
Fifteen