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'" r i'l' ' Volume VJIt. \A v iiite'& Cos., ULSlnie datrrhln Journal. I PUBLISHED EVERY WEDNESDAY. rER MS, - - S I .OO A YEAR. Advwtisinj^ On© square, dpt One square tiiyee tu ontlia.. ...... 10 00 One square six months 15 00 twelve months -20 00 Quarter column twelve months 40 00 Half column six months (JO 00 ITalf colnam twelve months 75 00 On® column twelve months 12. 00 Ten lines or less considered 4 squarp A.r t/aetioiis square! are counted as full itreß. lUJSI N K S S C A R D S. AY ATBON A- .TOH v ... .nd mW ~/2 Hvr, . mu son, aa. ..y-VJTOftiee at tlie Court-house. PAUL 0. HUDSON, A TTO !:NJ-:Y t A T LA IV, f f Ga. \j&ll p : thft Superior Courts of the AnhOist*, Northern and Middle Circuits, and in the Kvprcme Court, and will give ait on non to all cast:.: in ILinkfoptcy, , 1 74. ALBERT HAPE, >?on-lteKld(*t I>< lit iwt, n * 1 ? & - ' VyAN still he found readv to attend to the Hants of old andr.ew patrons, if desired, at t ieir residences. Will also, as heretofore, practice in adjoin ing counties. Panic prices insured and all work warranted. Office at the residence of W. E. Speir. Please address by letter, at Tlioiuaon, Ga. fmm hotel, [Charlesion, S. C. G. T. ALFOKD .f CO., Proprietors. Hates, s2. (hi, >2.50 and *:.(• 0 per day ,h Hot easily earned 111 M m 5 tlies'* times, but it can be made in three im nths by any one of eitln r sox. iu and part f the country who is will ing to work steadily at the employment that we furnish. £<*D per week in y< ur ow n town. Yon need not be aw ay from home aver night. Yon can give y;ur whole time ti the work or only your sp.-.-e inonu nts. Wt Hf.ents wfio ere mni-tog over #2O per I|,v. All who engage r.t once can make niom-y f.wi. At the present money cannot be maiW* s* easily and rapidly at any other buwnes't. It w *s nothing to tty the bus - -v**TlH free. Address at *n ** H. IlAixr.T A Cos., Portland, Maim Ilaii* Onttln *jr —IN THE— IATEST mi) feiGSi StiENTIFIC NANHER, -JBY-r E. D. AMMONITTI, Artist on llitiMint I lair, (OFFICE UNDER t'ENTHAI. HOTEL,) AUGUSTA. GEORGIA. jnarf'.l f SIM feSMINS, Mil and Bolts, CHEAPER THAN EVER —AT THE— Forest City Fniary -AND— Machine Works, GEO. R. LOMBARD & CO- Proprietors., Augmsta, Ga., tHTEugines, Cotton Screws, Mill (tear ing and Machinery of every kind made and repaired. iaay23*A§ food" I Btemi ; H u o i* 9 G. W. ROBERTS Announces to the nubiio that lie is prepared to do all kinds of Wood and Blacksuulh work. Bni'.yliuK.and je-. pairing Vyffai ipd Wagons a*pia%. I defy competition in prices. Thanking the pnWic lor past patroiy.ee I respectfully solicit a continuance of too same. I am also prepared to do all kinds of Plow work. Shop At Soroggths old stand, or. Greenway Street, near Shield's Mill. Give me e call. - jaul4s W G. .W. ROBBRtS _ | wr . f -w- v - A. Mason & Son. Watchmakers and Jewelers, At the old stand of C. C. Ttruckner, Mnln St, Thomson, (iff. Will repair ~vVatob#fl, Clocks. Jewelry. £e.. *henji fur CASH and warranted to give ertitm 1 fiitiwfßetimi. AVe are iilko, agents for the celebrated Crown Hpf OiT Wa al*o have a eourlpte . .ocV of Sewing Machine Fiifcrty uiihan.d, and nr* piepared to repair Machines at the lowest cash prices. Give us a call. Jan ICM in.- *•* *' ! John Morrissey used to give away $25,000 a year in charity. The manufacture of base balls em pl ’ys 3uo workman at Natick, Mass. A man walks on the water at Taunton, Mass. He wears immense tin shoes in which air is £onfined. The number of duels iu France for the year 1877 was seventeen, from which resulted five deaths. Tt is said that Sell tty lor Colfax can go into a drug store and put up his own i proscriptions. It is reported that Lord Derby's intel lect is becornming <U ordered, and many i stories art told An LoflfiOn about his ce j centrioifcies. — ——— —= According to the statement of the I Keveuue collector in San Fraueisco, I 274,977 barrels of beer wore sold in that city last year, being about one to each { inhabitant. Lotta cuts off the coupons from $200,- 000 in government bonds every quarter day. So much for having a shapely pair of intellects and an esthetic banjo. President Taylor’s grave, in Jefferson cour*y, Ky., is unmarked by any monu ment, and Gov. McCreary, of Kentucky, wishes the State Legislature t call upon Congress to put one up. One of the latest things iu prize com petition was a pie eating match iu To ronto. The competitors had their hands tied behind them, aud they devoured raspberry tarts from the top of a stool. Berlin has a population of 804,000 Protestants, for whom there are but 34 thirty-four churches and ninety-five min isters that is one shopard to a flock of 5,436 sheep. The late Chief Justice Pearson, of North Carolina, left eleven of his pupils judges or ex-judges of North Carolina courts. Three of these eat on the Su preme Court bench by the side of their old preceptor. Several hundred vessels used for com tnercial purposes, lately excavated at Home, are covered with inscriptions throwing light on business terms in an cient Rome, and the archaeologists are hard at work. For the first time in Holland the de cree of doctor of medicine has been con ferred upo>, a woman, Miss Aletta Jacobs, a lady who e intention to prac tice medicine in Amsterdam is utuvuu* cetb - v The Queen of the Belgians is one of the boat Indy whips in the world, and ns fond of horses as her sister-in-law, tin* Empress of Austria. Bhe guides her pony four-in-hand about the steep streets of her capital ns deftly as an expert. Following the lead of Tennessee, I lie Legislature of Mississippi has reelected n woman, Mrs. More nee, Btnte Libra rian, and Mrs. Sarah E. Porter, a school teacher, is being urged for a like posi tion in lowa. “Sales l>y cacdh-,” was the method of side daring the seventeenth century. A whx candle, about an inch in length, was set. on the edge of a knife, and he that hitl most before the caudle was out. was the buyer. Every applicant for a liquor liscense *n Alabama is now obliged to take on oath that he will neither give nor sell any kind of liquor to a minor, or person of rtnsonnd mind, without permission from parent or guardian. In view of the decision of the German Emperor to exclude from the German Fine Art sectiou of the Exhibition any picture recalling the war of 1870, the French Government has resolved to ex clude French pictures commemorating that war. Seven years ago, it is stated, Flood and O’Brien were conducting a drinking saloon (f modest pretentions in the city of San Francisco. To-day they are ranked among the silver kings of Ameri ca, with a monthly income of over $2, OdO.OAO each. Although nearly eighty years old Prince the Russian Pre mier, stands ]>erfectly erect, and exhib its a very majestic form. He is acces sible to ah, dresses in an old-fashioned suit of brown, and displays but on# ar ticle of jewelry, a s nail diamond pin given him by his mother on her death bed A son is Russian Minister to Switzerland. A Padua publisher is to send to the Exhibition an edition of Dante scarcely larger than the thumbnail, and intended for a watch-chain appendage. The let ters Eire so small as tc resemble grains of sand, and few, of course, can decipher them without a magnifying glass. It being impossible to distribute the type afler the edition had been worked off, it was returned to the foundry. This Iliad iu a nutshell will be bound in red telvet with silver clasps. Russian officers and soldiers are con stantly seen iu the streets and cafes of Constantinople, fraternizing with Turk ish officers; whom they met on the field of battle. A party of English sailors who had got their month's wages., re cently nle an excui'Mofi, by raih•,. I, San tftffnno. There they iuvi squad of Russian soldiers to dine won t cm hon American restaurant. Bote p irli'-s, “half seas over,** at the end •>! banqofc', cemented their friendship by “cleaning out” the establishment and getting up a general fight. “A MAP OF BUSY LIFE: ITS FLUCTUATIONS AND ITS VAST CONCERNS." THE DAY OLD BET WAS SOLD. BY FRANK H. OA SNA WAY. I wandered * here a curious crowd Thronged in an open square To see and auction held, of things . I hat were both odd and rare. It was a travelling showman’s stock That made the people stare. There were horses gray and ponies brown, And birds of every kin, And lions grim, and polar hears, And serpents long and thin; An elephant was up for sale Amid ho noisy din. Gravely above the gaping crowd The huge beast patient stood; Yet gazed, metbought, with anxious eye D-rrxM.d tfip rnbhl** rude. - -A- - - | To where an out man sat. apart [ In fixed and mournful mood. “And why so sorrowful, old man?” I said. Re raised his head, His eyes were full of the dumb grief Of faces that are dead. “They’re selling off old Ret from me,” In husky voice he said. “And do you cave so much ?” A tear Upon tne rough cheek fell, “Stranger, sit down beside me here, And, if you like. I’ll tell Why that, old beast is dear to me, And why I love her well. ’Tis nigh twelve years ninco Bet and I First start* and on the road, And never once; in all that, time, I’ve touched a whip or goad; She is the gentlest, quickest thing. r J hat ever bore a load. She’d catch a trick, and do it too, l’efove you'd think to wink. And eve.y word I'd speak she’d know— And, times I almost think She’d find, at last, a way to talk, And be that “missin’ link.” Always the same old gentle girl, Though little hay slic’d get; Sometimes when biz was very hud, And roads were rough, and yet— She was the gentlest of wo three, Me, Jimmie, and old Ret. Jim was my little one, you soe The brightest, sweet-eft boy That ever came from heaven on earth To be a father’s joy. His mother died when he was horn, And Ret awhile was coy. And jealous, too, until at length She somehow seemed to find That Jimimo lmd no mother left, Ami so she changed her mind. And 'dopted him herself, and proved As any mother kind. We brought him up by hand, uh two, You needn’t smile, 'tis true, There’s not a nurse in all the land That could old Ret outdo ; She’d make a cradle of her trunk, And shake his rattle, too. And when the nights were cold and sharp The rain came driving in, Beneath her big warm side he’d lay And laugh at blankets thin No fear that, rut would door® b'<Hy ■ ’iul vi'wj'li the- 1 t y ill.* T Ah 1 well, wne day (the rich don’t know What poor folks have to do), I was training Jimmie for the ring, When, as ho vaulted through A paper hoop, he missed and fell, All white, and senseless, too. ITis spine was hurt, and two long years We nursed my crippled child. Yet, even when he suffered most He patient was and mild. A hundred times he dried my tears And coaxed me till I smiled. We never left him, Ret and I, Rut steady day by day She’d softly swing him off to sleep, Or fan his pain away, And every cake or nut slic'd got On Jimmies bed she’d lay. Rut that’s not all one stormy night, Just as we. pitched the tent, TJIO lightning struck a tiger s cage, And out the mad beast went; Then suddenly there catno the scream For help, that Jimmie sent. We heard the tiger snarl just where The tiny bed did lie, The keepers jerked their pistols out And rushed toward the cry. Quick as we were, old Ret was first; Hhe flung the baby high. And as upon her great black head He clung, all white and flat, With lifted trunk and leveled tusks Old Betsey faced the cat! I gave her double hay that night— Who wouldn’t uftcr that? At last Jim died, and when in peace The little angel lay, The very downs had tears to shed, \nd one knelt down to pray. Although our boss was rough and hard, We didn’t show that day. And as around the coffin small Gathered our solemn band, Old Betsey took it up herself Ere we could stretch a hand, And when w t left the ferave looked hack, And seemed to understand. Then only toe were left. That seemed But closer still to tether Old Bet and me, and sadly since, In fair or stormy weuther, Upon the road or in the ring, We've mourned our dead together. They say have no souls- -no heaven When they are dead —I know If there’s a place where faithful love Has got trio smallest show, They’ll lot Bet in, or else it’s not The place I want to go. I havn’t many years to live, And Bf tsey’s growing old; They might have let 11s rough it through—” Just then hiii face grew cold— For as he spake the hammer foil, And poor old Bet was ?jold. —Han Franmco Chronicle. Some Familiar Wor ds and Phrases. Lord Lytton somewhere says that after Shakespeare, Horace has given us mere quotations so gener ally in use as to become proverbial, titan any other author. Teronco, l’lautus, Virgil, Ovid, and the celebrated Greek poet Mo i under have a bled much to swell lit- he '• "i’ks • choose **l such exp' -sinti lb. \v.. all know tlint Te t, ve -a t*ly remark, a- w -n- q i litiy do, ‘There's many a slip leixi tne cup and the lip," that we arc giving THOMSON, GA. MAY 15, 1878. a literal tr anslation of an old Greek hexameter; and when wo resignedly speak of “smiling through our tears,” little a wo suspect it wo art* quoting Homer. That musty old proverb of Frank lin's, “Early to bed and earl’ to rise,” etc , has been the bane if my existence. Many a delightfullSjiiry story and equally wonderful morn ing dream have been brokfli in upon suddenly and irreniodia!®' bv the voice of far her or mother string, “Now, child, remember the nrojt-rb, •Early to bed and early to Thri proverb. however ungfaeiote.ly, has been obeyed, but alas! fo. the health, wealth and wisdom so lav ishly promised. My oyes are lvorn out with use before dawn, the wis dom which had they had p; riper rest 1 might have obtained is non eft. while, my wealth may ho esti mated by the prieo this articleovill bring, “Clod help them that, help themselves' is lrom the same l end, hut bears an independent, energetic spirit, strangely at variance v ith the sluggardly counsel to spend ’.he long winter evening, so fu I of -oi don opporlunties for gaining km -s l ed ge, in idle slumber, (live this idea about sleeping early and rising early to the winds. More harm is done the eyes by two hours’! esc beforo breakfast than could posjfhly befall them during the rest of the day. .1 /'Never put olf till to-mofrow what can be dono to-day,” ijalso Franklin’s, and ono cannot mike a greater mistake than by following this uroverb, unless indeed ho Ife an inveterate procrastinator, lint for a sane man to deliberately cut li.in sotf off lrom that iucrcase of knowl edge or change of circumstances which the next day may bring forth is simply silly. Far rather would I choose as mine the rendering winch Murk Twain has put upon this proverb, “Never do to-day wlun can be pul off till to morrow.” Rabelais has given us many e-.'ii mon expressions, such as “Rohbig Peter to pay Paul,’ ‘And he thought he moon was mad.- of green • hecse.” , * T. t:* ftWiiiiar adage, ‘Knl com munications corrupt good manners.” was quote'll by St. Paul, at.'Ms found in a fnignicnt of one of the comic poems of Menander. Many of the trite and seemingly most national Scotch and lingli h proverbs have Leon borrowed from the East, and even thv famous old saw, “To carry coals to Newcastle " has a prototype not only in tho Per sian saying, ‘To carry pepper to Hindoostan,” blit also in the He brew, “To carry oil to the city of Olives.” Erasmus defii es a proverb a; being, ‘‘A well-known sating re markable tbrsome elegant, novel y.” Cervantes sn it, is “A short so - tence drawn from long experience,’ and Lord John llnsscll di dares it to be "T he wit. of one anti the wis dom of many," while Howell de scribes the ingredients and a go <j provei b to be "Sense, shortness, and salt.” It is believed that Spain carries off the palm in point of originality and elegance, as she certainly most in number, as one person ha- made a collection of twenty-four thou sand, and llepuilcs lias since pub lished six volumes of proverbs! The. common expression, “Mind your p’s und q's, had its origin in the ale houses in the olden time, when it was customary to keep each man’s account upon tlr- wall or door. At the head of the 'ill would be the initials P and Q, which stood for pints and quarts, and as the numbers mounted up we can imag ine one kindly rustic sayipg to anothejp, "Mind your p's and q’s, man ; mind your p’s and q's.” Tho origin of the phrase, “A featli er in one’s cap,” is accounted for in the Lansdowno manuscript in the British Museum. Bore may be found a description of Hungary in 1599, in which the writer says ol the inhabitants: "it hath been an antiont custom among them that none should wear a father, but lie who had killed a Turk, to whom ordte yt was lawf t: to shew the number of sluino enemy’s by the number of fothers in Ins cappe.” How frequently wo see a child jump from a retreat : lid shtick “Boo!” at his frightened In playmates. Tho work is a corru lion of Bob, tho son of Odin, so fierce a general among the fiotlis that the mere mention of his name spread a panic during his lifetime and, stranger still, has continued to -, so o er in ■> ! . , , ii , .1 rived from inmitQ, a .a iicse benches • CI’C- 1 . A pi .CCS, i liter tlte • xclia cos n rn m-y to- k place, flic Hist piihlic bank yeas established by Jews in Venice, i in the year 1550. The word skedaddle, the writer had always supposed to ho slang of tho worst type. An article how ever, upon the word says that it may he readily traced to a Greek origin arid that Thucydides and Herodotus frequently use tho word in speaking of a minted army. '1 lie Swedes and Danes have a similar word hearing tho same sig nification. An old version of he Irish Now Testament contains tho passage: “I will smitd the shep herri, and the she.-p shall big, , f (all scattered). This word was probably used by some Irishman at Hull Kun, and, being very expressive was soon taken up by every one.' The expression “Getting into a scrape,” has its origin in Scotland. Upon the seashore in that country tho game of “golf” is much plnye I, somewhat resembling croquet or billiards, being played with balls arid mallets. Tho hole which the rabbit makes is there culled a “scrape," and as rabbits are many in number, burrows or scrapes abound, and balls frequently full into them, when the players call out “You urc in a scrape!” As of course getting in a sciape ruined that stroke, it was an unpleasant position to be in, and since we have applied the phrase to all dilemmas. “It will bo done'before you can say Jack Hohinso.nl" Such re marks wo frequently hear, and one authority says thut tin; individual 1 so frequently mentioned is one Air. John Robinson, who lived in West, moreland, and who iu a remarkably short time rose from obscurity to wealth nnd power, becoming a member of Parliament and Secre tary of the Treasury, besides hold ing o t ho r important positions. Groso says tho expression origina ted from a very vol tilo gentleman bearing this name, wiio woul call upon his neiiflibors and bo gone al most bef- -. name was annum) cod. AMm a li 'i-ity claims tho following lii is, inf.-, from an old play, ns the orig mil ones: “A world! i: yn us mtsie to bo doone , Ah Ivh to save Jaoke Kubvson.” fi'lie \v<A'(i artMialias a most- inter esting little Bit o! lloman history done uj< in its small compass. ’Flic word is from the Latin and means sand. But to the student’s eye it means a great leal more Ife sees the Homan amphitheater crowded to its utmost u it.li the beautiful women and bravo men of llie n*- nowned city. Within the circle two gladiators fight, each ono feel ing it is for his life. How earnest ly they strive for liberty, hut alas! how vainly. Kaeh one al the same moment gives tho fatal blow, ;nd each one lies weltering in his bl*od 'flic peojdc shout, the ladies clap their dainty jeweled lingers, and the attendants coining in drag out i,he deal bodies and strew the ground with fresh guild that tlu* new combat ants may not slip in the blood ol their predecessors. When most of us speak <>■' of the arena of life, for instance yvo think of the earth us the battle field and men struggling for right or for '.vicing; hut tho first meaning of the word has slipped away trom us entirely. The word porcelain means in Spanish little pi g. Wluit possible connection can there be between the beautiful china-ware which glit ters in our shop windows and the little pigs rolling in the gutter? In 1518 tho Portuguese effected their settlement at Macao, and through them tho first specimens < f porce lain yvere imported into Europe They hud appliod the term parcel Inna to the cowrie shells, which repieseaUtd oriental money, because of their resemblance to the pjigk- TmelSoT! iitl • pigs. Afterwards, as the transparent and beautiful china ware resent bled the delicate coyvric shell, it yvas called by the same natno. I will close this article by giving tho origin of t e word quiz, which i find to boas follows: A theatri cal manager in Dublin at a dinner party with some friends, when the conversation turned upon the sub ject of words, bet a basket of cham pagne that he could then and there coin a word which would ho in tho mouth of every body in tho city tho next day. The hot being taken the party dispei-d. The manager culled his eri-iiiid hoys and runners, ...ave 1 ncm j.i fchalk, au-i t"ld in in e i-iti- V i.. I “<pii" on • very .lUttc i- n.-o l hey otild find in i. -■■.- It was done, and as a matter ol course tho new word was in everybody’s mouth the next day, and has won a good in i legitimate s 1 ending. There i" u liiclor in liavejiport, lowa, for making sugar Irom corn, i'he product sinuee no: re-', in tiles rnqile gi, uud sell- readily in the nei. .horikoml. The syrup is especially liked. [Journal Correspondence. J Pic-Nic. Nonwoon, Ga., May 6th, 1878. Pear Jourtial .- Notwithstanding 1 have nothing of a very charming character to communicate this week,. I would ask your permission to publish the following on tori ai n men t. In duo time “Sir" I was honored with a polite note from one of our fairest, inviting me-to attend a May party, which, of course, I accepted. It was priuoipaly given by our school about one mile from this 'city. I joyfully looked for tliW coming -occasion—it t i-aspired to day. I will endeavor to write th entire circumstances as I promis cuously observed them. This morning although there was no sun to pen evirate the murky clouds, and all nature seemed to bo contrary to tho wishes of the young people from 6:30 o'clock, a. m., theeweie to he seen young Indies with flowers going up broad way to tho wonder ful sociable, the writer kept pour ing over medical puges, hoping to discover some blight phenomenal change in the weather, hut alas, there was none It rained on until 10 o'clock and then stopped awhile. So 1 fixed up and displayed great heroism ; rode over to thv appointed grounds, near Aunt Dnleis creek. 'Twas a beautiful situation, and t expected at least to see a few el the beauties, but I was sadly disap pointed, there was no voice, save natures own sound, tho waters de scending tlie little babbling brook as 1 stood alone upon its bank, spake in sounding waves to me, singing sweet by and by I went up the bill s do, where 1 espied some mud walled cottages, I passed these by and fortunately met with two gentlemen who informed mo that I was on the right, truck, that is, as I uiidci'Btoo • it. a large number had j ist gone ahead, soon I reached tli school house, where the crowd had assembled to keep dry anil carry out the day. When 1 alighted from my steed, welcomes came up on every hand, a cry, a roar of “won, won, won,” greeted my cars until I felt like retiring abashed behind the scene*.. living determined to havo a good time, I walked through tho beauti ful grove right straight to ono of tho windows tv hero a certain boquel of young ladies prepared their rhetorical ear for some severe shrieks at my approuebin presence. I talked with extreme modesty—l liked so much—that J commenced usirg a telephone on u small scale. I whispered politics, and it was real aimi-ing. This affair was originally inten (led as a fish gratification hut turn ed out. just what 1 expected and wanted, a conversational festival. After laughing and talking some time I began to get serious about “visions.” i told the n I didn't eat breakfast, thinking of that evcnt usl banquet. Soon the old ladies and quite a number of the younger class opened the baskets which were filled with all good things tempting lo Ih sight ns vri■ 11 as the taste. Benches were suitably arranged upon which table clothe were spread in romantic style. Then in proper order was Het out one of the finest assortments of well Cooked eatables I ever had the good fortune to behold. Various meats, breads, pies and cakes, met our per sonal gaze. Without any ceremony the final grand invitation was an nounced to one and all, ea', drink and bo merry. None were slighted and none refuse 1. If was I suppose, one of the most excellent dinners ever spread out upon thewiipf clad hills of old War ren county. I must congratulate the ladies and getters up of this sociable dinror, for their kindness, taste and beauty. I only regret tiiat some of my special friends wore not present lo partake with me. After the repast we congrega ted again in the school house where I looked upon the blackboards on the wall the benches and desks which reminded me fmy own long to bo remembered happy school days, us they have flown never to return. In the evening about 3 o'clock, up drove a very fas tidious turn out composed clieifly o| ladies tojon our merry party. \V- c tin .ii a hearty reception unit uni} wi h they could have hern with u sooner and participated in all the pleasures of the day. One of Thomso i’s beau ies was happily in attendance, with whom l laid the pleasure to form an e -qtiniirnnoo. At 5 o'clock y. m., wo disbanded. Kverydody seemed anxious to get home, a* it was driz zling rain and the clouds threatened more extensive inclemency. As 1 close this article, I would sincerely hope iliat wo may be permitted to enjoy' many more sueh days. A. M. I). ' Origin of th* Whito Trasli. A negro preacher delivered a funeral discourse over the body ol an old colored brother, in which lie gave an account of tho genesis of tho species (white) which threw Darwin nnd all of his vain philoso phy of molecular, gemmular and atomic creation completely in the shade. “My hreddren, when Adam and F.he was fast made, dob was bof nriggers. Hut do good Lord put mm! in tlu? garden where he had hfs rummer apples, and lole 'em, Adam, you nnd Evbe may cut deni summer apples, much as you want, but you jes’ let dom Fowler apples be—l dun snve detn f r my own special toof. Dcese, like sheep meet, too good for niggers." “Dec. do good Lord wont off'bout bis business, lomonuding up and down the yotli seeking up whom ho might save tip. But he no soon er I urn his hack dan jes’ like two fool niggers, Adam and Ebe steal all dc Fowler apples. Ebe In lode first one, smack her Itibly thick lips, mid *qnired of Adam, ‘How is dot for high?’ Adarr. said it. was a!I O. K., and deh went for dern Fow ler apples liko do hclhjng Chinee. “Fvmebi do Lord comes hack, and do fust ting he said wa--, ‘Adam! Adam! where my Fowler apples ?’ I cn Adam got. skeered and said, ‘T don’t know, Lord, but 1 speck Ebe got 'em.’ And de Lord went in Ebe and said, Eb ", you got dom Fowler apples ?' Den Ebe got skeered and said, ‘Dunno, Lord ; but I kinder speck dut foo! nigger Ad am took 'em.’ Den de Lord got so mad he fairly stna hed his teeth. Ho stomped back up to whore Ad am was stnndiii’ and shiverin’ like a sheep-killin' dog, and lie mude de groan’ fairly shako <s he said. ‘Adam! Adam! you grind old thief, what for you steal my Fowler ap ples?’ Adam got so skeered he turned white as a sheet! and my belubbcd hrudren, ho lubber got b ack any more, and dat 'counts for de poor white trash we see flyin' round henli ) grand, votin’ do Dimierat tickot! Let us look to de Lord and Do distinist.” A Land ot Wonders, The greatest cataract in the world is the Fulls of Niagara, wi ere the water from tho great upper lakes forms a river of three fourths of a mile in width and then, be ! ng sud denly contracted, plunges over the rocks in two columns, to the depth of 175 feet. Tho greatest cave in the world is the Mammoth Cave of Kentucky, where on can make a voyage on tho waters of a subterranean river and catch fish without eyes. Tho greatest river in the known world is the Mississippi, 4,000 mhos long. The largest valley in the world is tho valley of the Mississippi. It contains 500,001) square miles, and is one tho most fertile regions of the globe. The greatest city park in the world is in Philadelphia. It eon tains over 2,000 acres. The greatest grain port in the world is Chicago. The greatest lake in the world is I,ako Superior, which is truly an inland sea, being 130 mites long and 1,000 feet deep. The longest railroad at present i the Pacific Kail road, being ever 3,000 miles in long! h. Tho greatest mass of solid iron in the world is the iron mountain ~f Missouri. It is 860 fed high and two miles in circuit. The best specimen of Grecian architecture in the world is the Girard College for orphan?, Phila delphia. Tho largest aqueduct in tho world is the Croton Aqueduct, New York. Its length is 10 1-2 utiles and it cost $12,500,000. The largest deposits of ant liraciti coal in tho world ttro in Pennsyl vania, the mines of which supply the market with millions of tons antuiailv, and appear to be inex haustible. A Racy Examination, Thu following racy examination of candidates for admission to the liar is taken from tho Western Luw Journal. Tho examination com mune, and with: ‘‘Do you smoke '!" “I do, sir.” “Have you a spare cigar?” “Yes, sir.” Kxtcnds a short six. “Now, sir, what is tho first duty ol a lawyer?” “To collect fros.” “Right. What is tho second Y” “To increa-o the number of cli ents." “When docs the pi siliou towards IV timber I. IPropri e tor r*. clients change?” “When making out a hill of costs ?" “Explain.” “We thou occupy tjfe antagonistic position. I become the plaintiff and ho becomes the defendant.” “A suit decided, limy do you stand with the lawyer > the ollur side?” “Check b; j vrl.” ‘'Enough, sir. You promise to beenme nn ornament t your pro fession, and 1 wish you success. Now, are you a- are of (he duly you owe tne?” “ Perfect iy." “Describe it.” “It is to invito you to drink.” “Hut suppose I decline? ’ Candidate scratelnis his bead. “Thoro is no instance of the kind on record in tne hooks. I c.-nuot answer t lie question?’ “You tiro right. And the wuifl. deuce with which you make the assertion ‘hows conclusively that you read the law attentively. Let's take a drink, anti t will sign your certificate at once !” ' Tribulations of A Local Editor, Once upon a time a local editor dreamed that he was dead, and in another world. He approached the gate of a city before jifin. anl knocked for admittance, b -t,no out answered his summons. The cate remained dosed against him. Then he cried aloud f r an entrance, but the only response were, scores of neads appearing above the wall on each side of the gate. At sight of him the owners of t he heads sot up* a dismal howl, and opo eif them cried : “Why didn't you notice the big egg I gave you?” At this hor rid and nto t unexpected interroga tion, the local turned in the direc tion of the voice to learn its owner, when another voice shrieked, “Where's the piece you wero going to write about my soda fountain?” and close upon thi- was the awful demand: “Why did you write a piece about old Poddle’s f< nee, and -hover say a word about ilff'hew” gate?" Whatever answer he was going to frame to this appeal was cut abruptly off by tbc astonishing quarry: “What did you spoil my name wrong in the programme for?” The miserable man turned lo flee, when lie was rooted to the spot by this terrible demand : “Why did you put my marriage among the ('callus?" 110 was on the point of saying the foreman did it, when a shrill voice n ndly cried: “What made you put in my runaway, and spoil the sale of my horse?" And this wus followed by the voice of a femalo hysterically proclaiming: “This is the brute that hot hod my poetry, and made me ridiculous I' Whereupon hundreds of voices screamed: “Where's my article? (live mo back my article." And in ihc midst ol the horrd din the poor wretch awoke, ] erspiring at every poro, and screaming for help. The next day he resigned, ami wo had to hunt tip another local editor.— Danbury Ncirs. Longevity of Animals. Amongoilurspoils is inch Alexan der the Grout look from Porus, an Indian king, wa- a m ister elephant. Those animals were then, as now, held ia the highest esteem in that ('oiiHfry- That, pnrlfeii'ar elephant fought so bravely for bis master, that tite admiration of the conquer or was excited in it's favor. Ho ordered film 10 be sot fee, aid al lowed to tango at pbuiMiri—-tost naming him Ajax, and plueing a medal securely to bis neck bearino' this inscription: “Alexander sop, of Jupiter, dedicated Ajax to tho sun.” Three hundred and fifty tour years after. Ibe old follow was re discovered mid in good condition, us not hing, was recorded to the contrary. Therefore, it is pr diahlc that, elephants may five several hundred centuries before the nmcl inory of life gives out. Cuvier, t lie great’ French naturalist, saw no reus >n why whales should not reach a thousand years. An eagle died at Vienna that was known to bo 104 years old. A skeleton of a swan rs in the posses sion of an English gentleman that died when 290 years of age. Tor toises have been repeatedly found with datus cut iuto heir shells by aueietit hunters, showing that they were over 100, and yet were crawl ing on vigorously with now mark ings into a second century. Tic I’ev. Henry Ward Beecher's idea that there is no led is bad for newspaper publishers, as many sub scribers may now utterly refuse to pay, if they have tho most remote suspicion that Beecher knows what ho is talking about.