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VOL. XVIII.
The Fallow Field.
The son comes up and the sun goes down :
The night mist shroudeth the sleeping town :
Bat if it be dark or if it be day,
If the tempests beat or the breeees play,
Still here on this upland slope I lie
Looking up to the changeful sky.
Naught am I but a fallow field;
Never a crop my acres yield.
Over the wall at my right hand
Stately and green the corn blades stand.
And I hear at my left the flying feet
Of the winds that rustle the bending wheat.
Often while yet the morn is red
I list for our xnaster's eager tread.
He smiles at the youug corn’s towering
height, _
He knows the wheat is a goodly sight.
But he glances not at the fallow field
Whose idle acres no wealth may yield.
Sometimes the shout of the harvester*
The sleeping pulae of my being stirs,
And as one in a dream I seem to feel
The sweep and the rush of the swinging
steel,
Or I catch the sound of the gay refrain
As they heap their wains with the golden !
grain.
Yet, Oh, my neighbors, be not too proud,
Though on every tongue youl praise is loud. '
Our mother Nature is kind to me,
And I am beloved by bird and bee
And never a child that passes by
But turns upon me a gratefuleje.
Over my head the fide* *iro bine ;
I have my share of the rain and dew ?
I bask like you in the summer sun
When the long bright days puss, one by one, ,
And calm aa yours is my sweeL repose
Wrapped in the warmth of the winter enow*.
For litfle our loving mother cares
Which the corn or the daisy bears,
Which is rich with the ripening wheat,
Which with the violet’s breath is sweet,
Which is red with tlio clover bloom,
Or which for the wild sweet-fern makes j
room.
Useless under the summer sky
Year after year men say I lie.
Little they know what strength of mine
I give to the trailing blackberry vino;
Little they know how the wild grape grows.
Or how my life-blood flushes the rose.
Little they think of the cups I fill
For the mosses creeping under i!s hill; I
Little they think of the feast I epread
For the wild wee creatures that must be fed ; j
Squirrel and butterfly, bird and bea,
Audi the '*’**#* t*e eye may j
aee. * -i
I/ord of the harvest. Thou dost know
How the ga;mers and winters go.
Never a ship Hails east or west
T*aden with treasures at my behest,
Yet my being thrills to the voice of Gou
\Vheu I give ray gold to the golden-rod.
—Julia C. U. Dorr , in Harper Magazine.
in THE CREVASSE.
The glacier will not be safe to
day,” said the old guide, shaking his
head gravely. “ There is a yellow mist
over the cap of old lleingen Alp, and
that means a thaw.”
“ Well, and wliat of that?” asked
the younger man, whom I had ehoseu
for my guide. “ Neither one day's nor
one month’s thaw is going to melt the
Mer de Glace.”
“ No," said the old man, “but a thaw
sometimes splits the glacier into cre
vasses. I've seen the Mer de Glace as
full of cracks as the bottom of a dried
up pond in summer. Many a good
fellow has lost his life at the bottom
of those chasms.”
“ It's not a crack in the ice, nor a
crack in an old man’s brain, that is
going to scare Frans Berg,” said the
young man, laughing. •• I've been
guide here, boy and man, these fifteen
years, and I never heard of even a goat
being lost in a crevasse.”
“ Well, well, have your own way,”
muttered ttie old man, “ wisdom is
learned hv experience. Happy for you
if you live to protit liy it.”
I was somewhat disturbed by. the
old guide’s ominous words, but not de
terred from my original ptiqiose. 1
hud coineall the way from Geneva ex
pressly to see the glacier, and it was
not the prophesyings of a doting old
’nan that wn“ going to interfere with
rnv object. I lual but one day to spare.
The weather was beautiful. The sky
was brilliantly blue, and the snow
crowned caps of the mountains
sparkled like gigantic prisms in the
sun. I. for one, could not see the yel
low mist to which the old man hail re
ferred, and was greatly inclined to at
tribute his warning, as my guide had
done, to a megrim of his old brain.
Our preparations, consisting of high
boots, shod with spikes, steel-tipped
staves and a wicker flask of spirits
apiece, were soon complete. We set
out at 10 in the forenoon, and by 12
had reached the left hank of the great
ice river which wo proposed to cross.
I paused a moment awe-struck at
the magnificent spectacle. Imagine a
gigantic river, perhaps two miles
broad, whirling between vast snow
capped hills, suddenly frozen to a slow,
moving torrent of ice. Vast heaps of
snow lay upon it, and here and there
masses of rock, weighing tons, de
tached from some gorge far up the
impassable cliffs.
Very near us a narrow fissure or
cleft ran diagonally across the body
of the ice; the sides, smooth as glass
and of a deep lustrous green, descend
ing sheer into impenetrable darkness.
Such a crevasse as this, the guide said,
was always to be found in the glacier,
and only the most ordinary care was
necessary to avoid it.
We scrambled down upon the ice
and began to make our way cautiously
across it. Owing to various obstruc
tions, such as heaped up snow, or soft
-spots in the ice, our progress was very
slow. After an hour of hard work
we had pot. accomplished one-half of
the distance. 1 sat down upon a
cube of rock to rest and leok about
me.
A change had already taken place in
the weather. The sun was obscured
by a dense, leaden-colored mist, and
the valley of the glacier itself seemed
to he choked with masses of whirling
vapor. My outside garments were
wet, and all around us the fee kept up
a cold and benumbing steam.
As 1 sat in a far from comfortable
frame of body anil mind, I was startled
by a far-off, dull, booming sound, the
echoes of which seemed to be repeated
interminably among the hills.
“What was that?” I asked the
guide.
“ Most like ly an avalanche on the
Heilgen Alp,” he replied. “They are
always falling there—”
lie was interrupted by a repetition
of the sound, much nearer to us, ac
companied by a tremendous shock that
seemed to shake the ice beneath us. I
looked at him inquiringly, and ob
served that he was slightly pale.
“ A crevasse,” he said, answering my
look with an air of unconcern that i
could see was not wholly real. “When
the ice parts it makes a noise like a
cannon. It is nothing. However, we
had better tie moving. I don’t likethe
looks of this fog.”
We arose and resumed our journey,
the guide directing our course by occa
sional glimpses of the Alps through
tiie wreaths of fog which every mo
ment became more dense. We had not
proceeded twenty stops, however, when
the guide suddenly paused and mo
tioned me hack. At that instant there
came another report, so loud and sharp
that 1 was absolutely stunned, and
riglil in front of us a long, jagged line
appeared in the ice, widening rapidly,
until two sheer walls faced each other
more than ten feet apart.
; Though tiio chasm lay directly in
| our way, to cross it was out of the
qsseationy. The grrtde turned
jto the right,’ ami wo followed’ fue
j wink of the crevasse, hoping to find a
: point where it ended or was narrow
j enough to spring over. The fog had
: now become so dense that we could
j not see a dozen steps before us, anil
; we were forced to move at a snail’s
pace in order to avoid falling into some
unseen abyss. We had gone on in this
way perhaps live minutes, when there
! came another report, followed by a
| series of weaker shocks. The guide
■! and I paused and looked around us.
The situation had become, to say
i the least, embarrassing. During a
momentary lift of the log we saw all
around us a perfect network of cracks,
’ intersecting one another at every
angle. Then, as the vapor closed in
again, we could hear on every side tre
mendous crashings and grindings, as
the huge masses of ice approached or
receded from each other.
What to do now was a serious ques
tion. To proceed a single yard might
be to precipitate ourselves to the bot
tom of some -frightful chasm, and to
I remain where we were might be
i merely waiting until the ice should
; open beneath our feet and engulf us.
Hut we were speedily forced to aeon -
elusion. While we stood a few feet
apart anxiously discussing our posi
tion, there was another shock, and I
was blinded by a shower of small par
i tides of ice.
When i cleared my eyes I saw that
another cleft hail opened directly at
my feet, between myself and the
guide. It was rapidly widening, anil
in a few seconds would separate me
from ray Companion. Without hesi
tation l sprang across it and stood be
side him. lie looked at me with a
grave face.
“We are in great danger," he said,
simply.
“ Yes,” I replied, as quietly as I
could, “ but we must do our best to
get out of it. What do you advise?”
“We must not stop here,” he said,
peering into the fog; “ we are evidently
in the very center of these crevasses.
If we could get nearer to either bank
we should he safer. I think we had
better follow one of these cracks until
we can cross it. We shall have to feel
our way, for this fog hides every
thing.”
“Very good,” I replied; “lead on
and I will l*eep close behind you.”
Crouching almost to our hands and
knees we proceeded slowly onward,
keeping the main crevasse, a cleft some
twenty feet wide, on our left. For
nearly an hour wo went on in this way
and still the awful chasm yawned be
hind us. Indeed, it seemed to me that
we had not moved at ail, and that I
recognized certain peculiarities in our
surroundings as similar to those I had
noticed at our point of departure.
While I was pondering this dis
quieting notion, I saw the guide stoop
and pick up some object from the ice.
He turned and looked at me with a
i white face.
“We need go no further,” he said,
holding up his spirit-flask. “ I dropped
WASHINGTON, GA., FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 16, 1883.
that an hour ago on the ice beside the
crevasse.”
“In other words,” said I, “ we have
been traveling in a circle for the last
hour.”
“Yes, the crevasse is all around us,”
ho replied, with a drooping head.
“ We are imprisoned upon an island of
j ice.”
I I was silent for a moment, strug
! gling with my own dread. Well,”
j said I, “ we must make the host of it
i anrl wait until the crevasse closes
| again.”
He shook his head sorrowfully.
J “ The mass of ice we arc standing
upon will lie more likely to split up
and we he sent to the bottom.”
“ The case is hopeless, tlu-n,” I said.
I “We can de no more. Fetus meet
I death as bravely as we can.”
“Old Ivober was right,” he imit-
Ucred. “He warned me and 1 have
led you to your death.”
“Let us not speak of that,” I an
swered. “I do not blame you, Franz.
Let us shako hands, then sit doivn and
wait for whatever Providence sees lit
to do unto ns.”
“You are a brave man,” he said,
grasping my hand.
Desiring to prepare myself for what
was to come as well as 1 might, 1
withdrew a little distance, front him,
and sitting down covered my eyes i
with my hand. Meantime the grind- [
ing and crashing went on all about,
me. The fog had settled down so
heavily that it was almost like bight.
Suddenly and without warning,there
was a rear like a thousand thunder
peals, a blinding dash of ice particles,
and l felt as if I had been seized and
hurled bodily into the air. Then,with
Frank’s wild cry in my cars, and tne
sound of a furious wind rushing past
me, 1 seemed to be sinking down, I
down into unfathomable depths. Then
came a violent jar and X knew no more, j
When consciousness returned 1 found
myself at the bottom of a tremendous
gorge, one wall of which receded up
ward at an angle. It was by sliding
down this incline that I had escaped
being dashed to pieces—only
to await deatli in a more
lingering and horrible form.
The gorge was lighted by a pale-green
ish glow from the polished faces of the
ice, and far above I could see a narrow
streak of outer day.
Jfy soO’cii hud Alt li.A aruiT kTGt!
temporary resentment against my crm-l 1
fate, i looked around for some means i
of escape. One wall of the crevasse
asolutely leaned over me. and this a
cat could not have, climbed; the other,
as I have already said, sloped upward
at a considerable angle, but it wai so
slippery that 1 could find no foothold
upon it.
I had with me nothing but a Strong
clasp-knife, but with this poor tool 1
began desperately hacking niches for
my hands and feet in the ice. It was
slow and painful work. When at the
end of four or five hours I found that
J had not progressed more than ten
yards upward, my heart sickened, I re
laxed my hold, and slid, numbed and
despairing, to the bottom again.
By this time night had come upon
the world above, and in the chasm it
was perfectly black. I wrapped my
coat about me and lay down in the
crevasse, perfectly careless as to the
end of it all. Homo time toward
morning, worn out with fatigue and
excitement, I fell asleep.
It must have been late in the day
when I awoke, I started to my feet
and looked around me. A significant
change had taken place in the condi
tion of the crevasse. When I had
fallen into it the chasm had been fully
twenty feet in width, it was now
less than six. The cleft of sky was
reduced to a mere white line far
above. The walls were approaching
each other —the crevasse was closing j
again. In the course of a few hours 1
should be crushed to pieces between
the meeting masses of ice.
The thought lmd now no terror for !
me, Mentally and physically I was
benumbed and callous. I sat down
upon the bottom of the crevasse, stol
idly watching the slow approach of
the opposite wall, until it began to
press again.,t my feet; then I arose to
a standing posture and continued to
eye it vacantly as before.
Another hour went by; it might I
have been a moment or an age, so far '
as my dulled comprehension was con
cerned. The walls had now approached
so closely that 1 could touch the oppo
site one with my outstretched hands.
At this juncture a small object struck
me sharply upon the head. I supposed
it to be a fragment of ice detached
from Iha ice-wails above, and paid no
attention to it. But the blow was re
peated more violently, and I looked up
carelessly to see whence it came.
It was with a sense of absolute pain,
so great was the revulsion from de
spair to hope, that I saw the end of a
knotted rope dangling before ine.
Someone had discovered my situation,
who it was or how I did not stop to
think, and had come to my rescue,
i I seized the rope and hurriedly
| knotted it under my arms, and, utter
ing a shout to those above, was slowly
| and painfully drawn up through the
, fast narrowing cleft. A dozen strong
j arms lifted me out into the sunlight.
| Hager faces, among which I recognized
| those of Franz and the old guide, bent
over me; then I knew no more.
My faiuting fit lasted only a few
moments, but as I opened my eyes and
sat up, the crevasse out of which I
had been drawn closed together with
a terrific crash.
I learned that I had been engulfed
alone, and that Franz had been left
safe upon a detached block of ice. At
early dawn, finding the crevasse clos
ing around and the glacier becoming
passable again, he hail hastened hack
to the-village and procured ropes and
assistance, with the hope that I might
still be Alive at the bottom of the cre
vasse.., Tney hail trailed the rope
along the crevasse, knowing that if 1
i was still alive it would attract ,uiy at
: tention. Fortunately for me, the de
i vice succeeded, and 1 was rescued at
the very last moment.
If, as they say, wo measure lime
onlv by our emotions, 1 should he at a
loss to calculate the number of cen
turies I passed through during that
terrible night in the crevasse.
- SELECT SIFTINGS.
An Indian’s widow is expected to
keep m mourning for twenty moons.
The live good emperors of Rome
were Nerva, Trajan, Hadrian and the
two Antonines.
la China a lady’s distorted foot,
which, naked, looks like a hoof, is
called a “golden lily.”
An English writer attributes the
"leanness and lankness of Americans
to the dryness of the climate."
The ancient Chinese used hydropa
thy , as a cure for certain diseases,
among others chronic rheumatism.
It is predicted that the time will
Come when Gaelic will cease to be a
spoken language, and will share the
fate of its sisters, the Manx and
Cornish.
To make a year’s supply' of matches
in this country takes 0,000 cords of
wood, and supplies eight tranche< for
every man, woman and child. The
government lax is $0,1)00,000 on 400,-
000,000 boxes.
It is stated that paper made from
strong libers—such as linen—can now
bo compressed into a substance so
hard tjiat it cannot be scratched by
a T .itiiihfcbut a diamond. In view of
it* is, thought that before long
i*Rrim variety of house furniture
will he made of paper instead of
wood.
Oswaldus Xorthingerus is said to
have made 1,000 dishes of turned ivory,
all perfect ar.d complete in every part,
yet so thin and slender that all of them
were included at once in a eup turned
out of a poppercorn of the common
size. They were so small as to he al
most invisible to the eye. They were
presented to Rope J’aul V.
China is ahead on bridges, the larg
est in the world being her structuie at
Lagang, over an arm of the. China sea.
It is five miles long, built entirely of
stone, has 000 arches seventy feet high
and a roadway seventy feet wide. The
parapet is a balustrade, and each of
the pillars, which are seventy-live feet
apart, supports a pedestal on which is
placed a lion, twenty-one feet long,
made of one block of marble.
The first Roman amphitheatre was
built by Ciesar with the amiable in
tention of outdoing Pompey, who had
built a stone theatre greatly admired
by the people. Ca-sar sent immense
sums of money from Gaul to his friend,
the tribune Curio, who built two
wooden theatres side by side, so that
twy audiences could ho entertained at
once, and so arranged that at a given
signal it was possible to swing one the
atre about so as to face the other and
to form an amphitheatre.
In 1578 Mark Sealliot, a blacksmith
of London, made “for exhibition and
trial of skill one lock of iron, steel and
brass, all of which, together with a
pipe-key to it, weighed but one grain
Of gold.” He also made a chain of
gold, consisting of forty-three links,
and having fastened to this the before
mentioned lock and key, lie put the
chain about the neck of a Ilea, w hich
drew them all with ease. All these
together—lock and key. chain and Ilea
—weighed only one grain and a half
It Walked.
‘ That butter came from the North,’ 1
said the landlady of an Arkansaw
boarding-house; “ I don’t use the com
mon butter of this country on my
table. AH of my butter comes from a
distance.” “ Does it walk?” asked a
hoarder. “What did you say, sir?”
“ I ask does your butter walk in mak
ing the journey?” “ No, sir,” said the
lady, with a sad smile; “ but 1 hope that
you can w alk,” and she opened the
door. “ Why, madame, I have paid
you three weeks in advance.” “It
makes no difference. No man who
insults my butter can remain under
my roof. You llirted with my daugh
ter and abused my husband, and ) took
it all in good part; hut, sir, as you
have passed the limit of my endurance,
leave the place 1” “Madame, feeling
that lam outnumbered, I’ll leave. It
is not in your power to put me out;
and but for the fact that you might
call your masculine friend there"
—pointing to the butter—“ I’d con
test the matter; but, as it is, 1 surren
der. Good-day V—Arkamaw Traveler.
SCIENTIFIC AND INBUSTRIAL.
Wave lengths of the sounds emitted
by a man’s voice in ordinary conversa
tion are from eight feet to twelve feet,
and of women’s two feet to four feet
per second.
Grains of torn which had been ex
posed to the full vigor of the severest
weather in Arctic expeditions have
been found to sprout readily when
brought back to warmer climates.
Water, saturated with alum, is re
commended by the veteran srientist,
M. Dumas, ns a speedy and effectual
remedy for extinguishing fires. His
proposition is based on tWtheory that
the alum would coat the objects wetted
with it, intercept the access of atmos
pheric oxygen, anil thus stay combus
tion.
The one-hundred-ton Armstrong
breech-loader fired jts proof-rounds
with perfect success at the recent
trials at La Spezia, the Italian naval
port. Tho highest charge tired was
776 pounds, with a projectile Weigh
ing 2,000 pounds, The muzzle vciqk
ity of the shot was 1.834 feet to thm
second, or a total energy of 46,600*
tons.
Algeria is beginning to cultivate on
a large scale the wax plant. The fruit
when gathered is put into a coarse
hag, and when plunged into a vessel
containing boiling water the wax soon
vises lo the surface, when it is skimmed
off and dried, and subsequently sold as
a substitute for beeswax, tho chemical
composition of which it very closely
resembles. The odor of the substance
Is very agreeable.
Taking the enumeration of thepeo
ple of France in 1881 as a basis, M.
Oliervin shows that the increase since
1876 has been only twenty per 1,000,
while in England it was 145, and in
Germany so high as 574 per 1,000.
Other things being equal, Maine and
Normandy should give a great in
crease of population, hut the fact is
that the number of the peopleis “con
spicuously” diminishing.
The strongest and most common of
the several kinds of paper made in
Japan is manufactured from the bark
of a shrub called mitsuma, which
grows about a yard in height, blossoms
in wibter, and thrives on very pool
soil. When the stem has reached its
full height it is cut off close to the
ground,' ivlieh' offshoots spring up,)
which are again cut us soon as they!
arc large enough.
As t,n mimicry the giraffe has the
most astonishing power of any animal,
says Dr. 11. \V. Mitchell. Inhabiting as
itdoesilie forest of Africa, and feeding
upon the boughs of trees, its great size
makes it a most conspicuous object. Its
most dreaded enemies are the stealthy
lion and man. In the regions it most
frequents are many dead and blasted
trunks of Iroeß, and its mijnicry is
such that the most practiced eye has
failed to distinguish a giraffe from a
tree trunk ora tree trunk from a giraffe.
It has even been said that a lion lias
looked long and earnestly at a giraffe,
in doubt whether it was a tree or not,
and then skulked away.
A Dili eh Farm.
Ail English traveler describes a
Dutch farm near Haarlem, and the
family working it. He declares that
lie never saw anything so exquisitely
clean, neat, pretty and well arranged*;
the kitchen and the, kitchen stove a per
fect picture of polished steel and spot
less plaques; all the pails painted a
light blue with hoops of silvery
brightness; the dairy, a scene of red
tiles and gleaming milk-pans, pleasing
to every sense; the barn,more like cabi
net work than carpentry. The rail
ings of the outdoor staircase to the
bay-lofts are handsome enough for any
mansion; the ladders are nicely
finished; the gates highly orna
mental; tlie fences nil elegant and
tasteful. There is no litter anywhere;
no neglected corners; no ill-kept
patches of grass; no waste places
overgrown with weeds, anil this farm
is not a rich man’s plaything, but a
real farm, worked chiefly by the oc
cupant and his eons and daughters,
who derive from ft their whole reve
nue.
An Immense Gold Nugget.
Sam Howard has been a gold miner
in California for many years, and lias
been uniformly unlucky, but fickle
fortune lias smiled on him at last. A
short time ago while sitting on the
hank of the, Indian river, watching a
Chinaman in his employ at work, he
saw aqjinimcnse nugget fall out of the
dirt into the cut. * As might he ex
pected, for a time it completely un
nerved him. it is related that he hal
the nuggit all that day and could
hardly deride what to do with, it.
The pineals flat and would, if squared
out, be about four inches square and
one and a-half inches thick, it is a
little worn by washing and lias sev
eral pieces of quartz still sticking to
one ride of it. It weighed 150 j
ounces and is valued at $2,500
An Arizona paper has persuaded it
self that the name of that Territory is
either Mexican or Indian for “ Blessed
Sun.”
“I can’t do it,” never did anything
“1 will do it,” has worked miracles.
NO. 7.
The Constant Heart.
Snddc nonce in out of neason
When birden and lovers mute,
When soule to noule rnunt paye awele toll
And fate be joyned with fate;
Sadde song® and wofull thought controls
Tins constant heart of myne,
And make newc love a treason
Unto my Valentine.
How shall my wan lippee ntlsr
Their summons to the cledde,
Where nowe repeat® tho promise swete,
Ko fame my lovo hath fiedit ?
My onely love ! What uimiake 4et .
Shall crosae the wall* that -barroa?
To earth® the burthen mutter,
Or ainge it to tho starra.
Perchance she dwelles n npirite
Iu beautye undeatroyed
Where brightest ninrrn are closely
Pane out beyonde the voytl;
If Margaret ho riaeu yet
Her looko will hither turn®,
I known that she will lieare it
And all my trewe heart loarne.
But if no resurrection
a Unaeale her dwellings low,
one ao fayre inuat bide her there
the trumpe shall blown,
shall Love outvie Despair®,
constant heart is myne)
of her perfection.
Bo to her shrine
At thin bending
lie clodde,
To the chill sliadowes passe
And leafiesse nudde:
There keepe my if qHftv.iind crye—Alas
That I.ovo may not fnrjsal,
That Joye mast have s\c:le ending
And Life bo laggard ybtl
—A’. C. Stalman, ihthe Centui'y.
HUMOR OP THE DAY.
11 advised—The doctor’s patieat.
Never look a gift mule at the beds.
—Hamkeye.
Music, like lirewood, is measured
by the chord.
Never count your chicken before it
is catched.— Picayune.
It is a curious thing, but when a
man slips up he always slips down.
Young men who want to “see some
thing of the world ” think they must
stay out nights to do it.— Picayune.
They say you can’t freeze a cat. But
then you can try the other extreme
and make it hot for Jinn.— Lowell Cit
izen. 1 — ——
What’s the use of getting up loan
exhibitions when the windows of pawn
shops are open to all gazers?--Free
Press.
An inch may he as good as a mile,
hut when a lady is, purchasing dry
goods she would rather have the mile
as a general thing.— Puck.
An old lady with several unmarried
daughters feeds them on fish diet, lie
cause it is rich in phosphorus, and
phosphorus is the essential thing in
making matches.
A boy’s tool chest only costs $2, and
if the lad is anyways bright he can
saw the legs off of overy chair in the
house and bore holes through every
dour in a week’s time.
When a lady who has been taking
music lessons for the past eight years
hangs back and blushes and says she
really can’t play, don’t insist on it.
The chances are that she can’t.— Fnc
Press.
A correspondent writes: “You want
to know what kind of fruit an axletree
bears. Why, nuts, of course—one on
each end of the tree.” Wo thought
some felloe of the Hub would be able
to tell us. —Boston Transcript.
“Colonel,” said a man who wanted
to make out a genealogical tree.
“Colonel, how can I become thoroughly
acquainted with my family history ?”
“.Simply by running for office,” an
swered the colonel.— Oil, City Derriok-
The clergyman in a certain town, as
the custom is, having published the
banns of matrimony between two per
sons, was followed by the clerk’s read
ing the hymn beginning with the
words : “ Mistaken souls, who dream of
Heaven."
A Cincinnati crank predicts the de
struction of the world this year. He
says that a “flaming fire will come to
complete the dark picture;” but it is
impossible to see how the picture is
going to be dark if there is a “flaming
fire” at the, time. A flaming fire ought
to illuminate it considerably.—Norris
totmi Herald.
Five men leaned up against the bar
for a nightcap. One drank whisky
because the doctor ordered it; two
others drank a hot Scotch because they
couldn’t sleep a wink without it; a
fourth drank brandy for the cholera
morbus, and the fifth man drank
whisky because he liked it. And there
were only four liars in the crowd.
Burlington Hawkeyc.
A good story is told about Mazzini.
While the notorious Italian agitator
was in London he went one day with
an English friend and bought a lot of
old swords and pistols. “What
on' earth are you going to do with
them?” asked the Britisher. “Nothing
at all,” replied Mazzini; "only, when
the police hear of my purchase, tele
grams will be sent everywhere, and
not a king or queen will sleep quietly
to-night.” And the Italian chuckled.