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with this billet. They talked a great deal of
moral suicide, wilful murder, and seeking the
bubble reputation at the cannon’s mouth; but
1 shall ever think that I took the proper
course, for, after the lapse of a few hours,
two more of the General’s red-coats, or Gen
eral postmen, brought me a large packet seal
ed with the War-Office Seal, and superscribed
“Henry Hardinge,” by which I was officially
absolved from serving on Horse, or on Foot,
or on both together, then and thereafter.
And why, 1 know not, unless His Majesty
doubted the handsomeness of discharging me
in particular, without letting off the rest: but
it was, that in a short time afterwards
ihere issued a proclamation, by which the
services of all militia-men were for the pres
ent dispensed with, and we were left to pur
sue our several avocations, of course, all the
lighter in our spirits for being disembodied.
THE YANKEE PEDLAR,
BY FRED. MARYLAND.
In the fall of 1822, on my way from New
York to Washington, I stopped for a couple
of days in the pleasant city of New Bruns
wick. On the afternoon of my arrival six or
eight of the townsmen were congregated in
White Hall Hotel, discussing the character,
and animadverting upon the habits of one of
their citizens, a Mr. D s, who was no
torious for his cunning at a bargain, and close
tistedness in money matters. As the conver
sation was carried on in a pretty loud key, I
may as well let the actors speak for them
selves.
“Close, did you say?” remarked one, “ why
vou might as well try to fish a dollar out of
the ocean, as get fairness out of him in a bar
gain.”
“ A perfect skinflint!” uttered a little dis
satisfied looking fellow. “ 1 knew him when
he wasn’t worth a dollar, and now he counts
thousands where I do hundreds, and all made
by shaving and taking advantage of the ne
cessities of others. Oh, he is a sharper.”
“ True,” said another, “ he’s the keenest
fellow I ever knew. Look, how he did
Smith, in that house and lot business, and
Smith’s not slow at a bargain; a man should
rise early to trade with Smith, I can tell
you.”
“ There’s no mistake about D s be
ing a sharper,” added the third.
“He would out Yankee Yankeedom, and
not half try,” put in a plethoric individual,
who seemed determined to add his testimo
ny.
“ L would give ten dollars to have him hand
somely taken in.” said one of them.
“ So would I,” repeated two or three’
During the conversation I had observed an
individual with a strongly marked Yankee
face, who was paying strict attention to the
speakers. He was a tin pedlar, and had
ihree waggons loaded with lanterns, then in
the yard. V T hen they began to talk of giv
ing money to have their neighbor outwitted,
he arose, and putting on the Yankee pretty
strongly, he said—
“ Gentlemen, I dont know that ere individ
ual, about whom you are speaking—l say I
don’t know him —but if you’ve a mind to
subscribe a little grain of something, just to
pay the ventur like, why I shouldn’t mind
tryin it. I calculate it might be done. I’ve
beam of sich people afore, and I dont know
but what I might be able to fetch him. I’m
in the tradin’ line, and it is all in the way of
trade.”
“Just the dandy, gentlemen,” exclamed
someone of the party, “just the ticket for
soup.”
“You’re in the trading line, are you ?” in
quired another.
“Yes, gentlemen—tradin’smy occupation.
I'm clean from Bangor way down in the State
of Maine. I can do a leetle of most any
thing. In the summer, I stays tu hum and
help the old folks —in the fall and winter I
peddle tin-ware, mostly lanterns.”
“You don't sell lanterns?” said the plethor
*c citizen, inquiringly.
“I’d like to knew if 1 haint got three hun
dred of ’em in my waggon in the yard.”
“Oh! you have, eh! Well you’re the
ver y man we want.”
“ Y-e-s,” said the Yankee.
“We will make up a purse of S2O ror you,
if you will bamboozle our friend D s.”
“I shouldn’t wonder if I could strike a
trade with him.”
“When will you do it?”
“ calculate tt can be done to-morrow.”
“ Very well—if you succeed the money is
yours.”
Twenty dollars were immediately collected
and given to the landlord, as an earnest of
meir seriousness, and the party broke up to
>neet the next evening. On the following
Ik OIfISIE &IB ¥ iB&SSWffS.
morning, our Yankee acquaintance, who was
a shrewd, intelligent fellow, put on a genteel
suit, and after having made a good many in
quiries respecting the habits, manners,’ ap
pearance and residence of Mr. D s,
mounted a horse, and took a round-about
course for his house, with the intention of
stopping there on his return, as if just from
Philadelphia. As good luck would have it,
old D s was standing in front of his
house, as the Yankee approached.
“ Sir,” said the latter, “will you be good
enough to inform me how a it is to New
Brunswick ?”
“Two miles, sir,” said D s.
“And how far is it to New York ?”
“ About forty miles by stage.”
“Are there any tin smiths in New Bruns
wick ?” continued the Yankee.
“Why, yes, there are two or three small
affairs.”
“I am sorry they are so small —I was in
hope of being able to fill an order there which
our house has received for lanterns.”
“Lanterns,” said the old fellow quickly
taking the bait, for he had seen three waggons
loaded with them only the day before.
“ Yes,” added the other carelessly, “we
have a heavy order, and I was told that the
article could be had in New Brunswick.”
“You are from Philadelphia, then ?”
“Yes, do business there. You have most
probably heard of our firm—Hyde, Cook,
Sage, Donnelly & Cos.”
“ I can’t say that I ever heard of that firm
—but there appears to be a good many of
you.”
“ Oh, yes, it is a large house.”
“How many lanterns do you want?” in
quired old D s.
“ Three hundred will do.”
“ What do you pay a hundred ?”
The Yankee stated a sum considerably ov
er the marketable value of the article.
“ Do you wish them delivered in Philadel
phia ?”
“No, I will attend to that.”
“Add another dollar to the hundred, and I
will furnish them to you,” said the sharper.
“Agreed,” said the Yankee—“now when
can you procure them ?”
“ In two days.”
“ All right—l must go some ten miles fur
ther. I will pay you for them on my re
turn.”
After some further conversation about the
size, make and quality of the article, all of
which served to impress old D s with
the legitimacy of the transaction, the Yankee
returned to town, put on his old clothes, and
otherwise altered his appearance, so that he
was fully prepared to superintend the sale of
his own lanterns when the old skinflint arriv
ed. In due time old D s arrived at the
tavern, and after much screwing, the bargain
was struck—the money paid down, and the
tin was delivered.
A broad grin of .satisfaction might have
been observed at that time on the face of six
or eight of the by-standers, but nothing was
said. The Yankee got a full price for his
lanterns, pocketed his S2O and then started
horn ward.
Old D s waited all the next day, and
the next day, and the following one, and two
more, but the Philadelphia merchant came
not. At length the lanterns grew hateful in
the old man's, sight, and with a dozen round
oaths, reflecting severely upon the mercantile
community in general, the tin ware was put
in the garret. The joke got wind, and soon
every body knew it, and from that day forth,
the old miser was known by the cognomen
“old lantern.” Many years afterwards,
the old man died, and the handbill that an
nounced the sale of his effects, contained the
following Nota Bene:
“ Also at the same time and place, three
hundred lanterns, almost as good as new,
which will be sold at a bargain.
A Novel Debut. —Cannon told a story of
a manager at a country theatre, who, having
given out the play of Douglas, found the
whole entertainment nearly put to a stop by
the arrest of “Young Norval,” as he was
entering the theatre. In this dilemma, no
other performer of the company being able to
take the part, he dressed up a tall gawky lad,
who snuffed the candles, in a plaid and phi
labeg, and pushing him on the stage, advan
ced himself to the foot-lights, with the book
in his hand, and addressed the audience with
Ladies and Gentlemen :
This young gentleman’s name is Norval;
On the Grampian hills
Ilis father feeds his flocks, a frugal swain,
Whose constant care was to increase his store.
And keep liis only sou (this young gentleman) at
home,
For this young gentleman had heard, &c.
And so through the whole play, much to
the delectation of the audience.
pi)Uo9opl)ti for tl)c people.
A PATENT PEN-HOLDER FOR EN- 1
FEEBLED HANDS.
Douglas Jerrold says: There is no physi- \
cal defect, great or little, that the inventive
arts have not attempted, in some way or ano
ther, to remedy. Time was when the blind,
the deaf, the maimed, suffered their misfor
tunes without the slightest alleviation from
science or art; but now ‘we've changed all
that,’ and in a way which Moliere himself, ;
skeptic as he was to all medical power, must
have admitted to be as marvellous as satis-1
factory. One of the latest inventions of this (
nature is Holtzapgel’s Pen-holder for enfee- ‘
bled hands, made for the use of those persons |
who, from age, rheumatism, or other infirmi
ty, are deprived of the free use of the fingers,
so that they cannot hold a pen in the custom
ary position The shaft of this pen-holder is
made of strong silver or gold metal; at the
bottom is a screw. The socket that receives
the pen is joined to the holder at about the
angle of forty-five degrees. The purpose of
the screw at the bottom of the holder is to
adapt the length of the vertical shaft to the
projection of the pen. The lower extremity
of the shaft is allowed to rest firmly upon the
paper, and thereby support the hand. The
pen itself is pressed on the paper from its
socket, by a feeble spring, so as to assimilate,
in the closest manner, to the action of the or
dinary quill pen. The invention is a kind of
! pen-holder constructed to give support and
1 guidance to the hand while writing. The ar
ticle is adapted to receive a steel or quill pen,
and shuts up in a compact and elegant shape.
I KYANIZING FENCING STUFF.
j It has now become quite common to im
j pregnate timber with some material or other,
which will render it less liable to decay or
rot. This process is called Kyanizing, from
the inventor of the process, Mr. Kyan, of
England. His method is to fill the pores of
the wood with a solution of corrosive subli
mate. This is an expensive article ; and oth
ers, by experimenting, have found that this is
not the only substance which will preserve
timber, if the pores of the wood be filled with
it. Many of the salts of iron, such as the
sulphate, and nitrate of iron, are employed—
and sulphate of copper, (the common blue
vitriol,) is also much used for this purpose.
The coal tar —which is bituminous liquor ob
tained where coal is distilled for gas —is also
found to be a cheap and efficient article for
this purpose. With whatever substance the
wood is filled, the process is called Kyanizing.
Various methods of filling the wood are adopt
ed. Some make large vats, and plunge the
wood in, allowing it to absorb the liquor.—
1 This is a slow mode, as it takes considerable
time to absorb enough of it. To hasten the
process, it has been found useful to force the
liquor in by pressure —either by pressure of
machinery or hydrostatic pressure.
| Atmospheric Phenomenon. —We have re
ceived a letter from !3t. Petersburg, which
| contains the following fact:
“ When the cholera broke out here, the at
mosphere was so charged that the electric
machines would not emit any sparks, and a
magnetic needle, which generally raises 12
pounds of iron, could with difficulty raise 4
pounds weight. To-day, the 13th, the at
mosphere is so far improved, that the mag
netic needle will raise 8 pounds weight.”
Accounts from another quarter —namely,
the official medical report —say that the chol
era began to decline in the city on that day.
— Lon. Lit. Gaz.
1 —i
Salt for Milcii Cows. —When cows in
! milk are kept on green, succulent food, they
require a regular and liberal supply of salt.
So, also, when cattle are first turned to pas
ture in the spring, they require salting more
frequently than in the latter part of the sea
son, w T hen the herbage is less succulent and
| fresh. It is often the case that animals, tak
en from dry food, and supplied exclusively
with green fermentable herbage, are greatly
I debilitated by “scours.” Salt, in due quan
tity, is a certain preventive of this malady.—
On first going to grass, cows should have one
pint of Indian meal each per day, and this
should be continued for a week or so, and
then not stopped suddenly, but gradually.
Secrets of Ventilation. —Let the air en
j ter the house freely by a large aperture, like
a common window, and capable of regulation
in the same way. Let it enter a stove-room,
and be there completely warmed; then let it
pass freely through the whole house, and en
i ter all the apartments either at the doors or
by express channels. Take off the used air
by the chimney and an open fire; or for
crowds, provide larger and express openings
—there is no more to be done. Houses that
we have seen ventilated in this simple, un
pretending, unmysterious manner, are the best
ventilated we have ever entered. It is too
often the fate of the mysterious little pipes,
funnels, tubes and valves by which ventila
tion is frequently symbolized, rather to indi
cate ventilation than to effect it.—lllustra
tions of the Theory of Ventilation.
The great comet of 1556, known as
Halley’s comet, and the most magnificent of
the celestial rovers, has been expected to re
turn this year; 292 years, the estimated time
of its periodical revolution around the sun,
haying elapsed since its last appearance.—
Science has triumphed: for the comet wai
actually observed on the 7th of August, at
Altona, (near Hamburg.) by Dr. Peterson.
It passed its perihelion during the last week
in July, and is now approaching the earth,
but will not come as near as it did in 1264.
It will be seen, it is supposed, during the eve
ning, in the North-East, not far from the con
stellation of Castor and Pollux.
Newspaper Analects.
COINCIDENCES OF WORDS.
Extraordinary coincidences of all kinds are
amusing, and some hardly credible. Those
who are to follow us will not believe that the
conversion of Horatio Nelson into Honor est
a Nilo was accidental. They will argue that
either the Admiral constructed the name out
of the proverb after the battle, and assumed
it instead of his own, or else that the forma
tion of the proverb made him fix his thoughts
on attacking the French in Egypt. They
will do any thing rather than admit what we
know to be the fact. But there is another
thing of the same kind, which is more com
plicated. The words Princess Charlotte Au
gusta of Wales were transformed, soon after
she died, into P. C. Her august race is lost,
0 fatal news ! This is not true, but at the
time when the unfortunate Princess died, it
was very likely to be verified. It is accom
plished only in the extinction of one line of
the dynasty. Next to accidental play on
words, come those which are constructed
afore-thought. The celebrated Latin lines,
which read backwards and forwards the
same —
Signa to signa; temere me tangis et angis:
Roma tibi subito motibus ibit amor,
have never had any but a lame explanation
of meaning. I propose that we, of the pre
sent generation, shall palm them on posterity
as having been spoken of by the present
Pope of Rome, meaning that if they do not
attend to their religious duties, and leave off
tormenting him into changing his politics,
Rome will soon be in a state of convulsion.
VVhen first made, they were attributed to the
devil, on account of the ingenuity of their
construction.
Under the genus of coincidences come
translateable puns. But a great many of
these arise from a legitimate similarity of
metaphor. Such is Colman’s translation of
Terence’s u Quidagitur—staturf into “What
are you on ?—my legs.” The following is
almost forgotten—that is, the English part
only is remembered, though the Latin is the
original. A person had received a present
of fish from a prelate, but he expected wine
with it; he says accordingly—
Mittitur in disco xnihi niseis ab Archiepiseo
fo non ponetur, quod Potus nonmiki detur,
which was thus rendered into English—
Jn a dish camo fish for the Archbish-
Ilop shall not be here, for he sent me no beer.
In the riddle books the point is spoilt by its
being rendered “ Hop was not there, because,”
&c. The wit, such as it is, consists in refu
sing the poor prelate his hop, because he had
not sent any beer.
Jumble, qua jumble, is easily imitated. If
I have not proved this already, let the follow
i ing be both concluding and conclusive. In
j some of the published song-books, called
warblers, minstrels, &c., it may be suspected
that some of the songs have been written
down by the compiler from hearing them
sung. I have met with rather an amusiug
instance of this, as follows. There is a bal
j lad beginning—
Oh! bring me but my Arab steed,
My prince defends his right.
i A certain warbler’s book, published four
J years ago, gives the second line thus :—•
My princely Fremi's right.
Os course it will strike every body that this
“ princely Frenzi” must have put the author
in a royal rage —or will do so, if he now sees
it.
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