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NEW
Davis
The lightest running Shuttle Sewing
Machine ever produced, combining
greatest simplicity, durability and
speed. It is adapted to a greater va
riety of practical and fancy work than
any other. No basting ever required.
For particulars as to prices. &c„ and
for any desired information, address
THE DAVIS SEWING MACHINE CO.,
WATERTOWN, N. Y.
158 Tremor t St., Boston, Mass.
1223 Chestnut St., Philadelphia, Pa.
113 Publio Square, Cleveland. Ohio.
<*■-45. 48 & 50 Jackson St, Chicago, 111.
For M&le in Bninmerville bj
J. 8. CLEGHORN & CO.
ALABASTINE
A Superior Substitute
for Kalsomine, etc
Alnbastine is the first and only preparation
made trim c dcined gypsum rock, for appli
cation io walls with a brush, and is fully eov
i-. . - .i , .-;e.| by many’.wars
' ... . , ujg os many
coats as des red. one over another, to any
hard surface, without danger of scaling, or
noticeably aiding to the thickness of tho
wall, winch is strengthened and improved by
each additional coat, from time to time. T.
■ls the only material for the purpose not <!?.
jiendem upon glue for its adhesiveness.
At imstiue is hardened on the wall by age,
moisture, etc., while ail kalsomines or whit-
Wittig preparations have inert soft chalks
and glue for their base, which tire rendered
soft or scaled in a very short time.
In addition to tho above advantages.
Aiaiuisiine is less expensite, It requires
but one-half the number of pounds to cover
the same amount of surface with two coats,
is ready for use by adding waler, and easily
applied by any one.
Fo ale by your Paint Dealer. Ask for
C.K ui r containing Samples of 12 tints,
mmitifactured only by the Ai.abisti.m-. Co.,
1 U CmiKi'ii. Manuger,Grand Rapids, Mich-
, v- PURE *
KeadyForUse
Clivcg., Terra Cottas end nil the latest
la .uionable shades tor
CUY COUNTRY OR SEASIDE.
Warranted durable and permanent.
Descriptive Lists, showing 32 actual
si; .- .c. >ent on application-
x • r>.e by the principal dealers,
e.m. i and retail, throughout the
Country.
As; for them and take ho others.
BOSS, TAYLOR & CO.
C! EVELAND, OHIO.
SANDS’ —*
PATENT TRIPLE!
A 4 X ? J** l * 3
jj J r 4 "ft kDU *7aa
FREEZERX
The only Freezer ever made haring three dietlnci
tDOtior.x inside the can, thereby,
clns» finer and smoother Cream than any other
I uczer on the market.
300,000 in use. Catalogue and Price Liat
bailed upon application.
WHITE MOUNTAIN FREEZER CO.,
NASHUA, N. H.
Aii Unpleasant Experience.
An Oxfordshire vonijn met with an ;
experience a few days days back which .
should act as a warning to intending vis- j
itors to lunatic asylums. The person m '
question journeyed to Littiemore, a vil- ,
luge four miles from Oxford, where i
there is an asylum, with the intention of I
visiting a female patient. The porter, ,
having admitted her, passed her on to j
one of the matrons with the words “to
visit a female patient ;” but the matron
appears to have caught only the last
words of the sentence, and a mistake re-
B<. ted which caused the visitor a good
deal of unpleasantness. Tue stranger
was taken tn the top of the building, nu
ll r the belief that she was going to see
her friend, and then she was suddenly
shut iuto an empty room, Shortly af
terward a nurse entered, and, to theoon-
Bb ruati. n of the visitor, at once pro
ceeded to undress her. Protestations
were unavailing, and the poor woman
was strifp d and placed m a bath, after
which she was forcibly put to bed. By
this time the mistaken lunatic was, of
couis--, in a frantic state of alarm, which
only favored the belief that she was
really a mad woman. Where this grue
some farce might have ended it is not
pleasant to contemplate; but by a lucky
accident the mistake was discovered later
in the day. and the uafortuna’e woman
was set at liberty with profuse apulo
gicb,
@ljc -S’uinnuTuiUc (Bsijcttc.
VOL XI. SUMMERVILLE. GEORGIA, WEDNESDAY-EVENING, JANUARY 6, 18S5. NO. 51.
PUMPKIN PIES.
Gentle stranger, let me ask,
Did you ever stop to ba-k
Id the atmosphere of cooking.
When a maid* n fair is looking,
Askancely from the depths
Os her limpid, azure eyes—
As she stoves in the big oven
Those de Lioua pumpkin pies ?
Ah. what ecstacir s appealing,
As the ar<»mas gen ly srea.ing,
P rmeate t e rural k tchen
Whose coniines hold a fair witch in,
Fascinating, dainty, ra e,
To intoxicating eyes!
’Tis the maiden, flour laden,
Manipulator of the pies.
Pumpkin pies ! What memories rist
Even to the sunny skies,
As she opens to your eyes
The big or* n she did shove in
Tho edelicious pumpkin pies.
Golden orbs of luscious glory I
Never had the world a story
Fairer to the hear of man,
Ay ! to beans of mortal c an
Than the, manuscript in yellow
Hot and toothsome *d< alii your eyes,
And I fain would long to spell, oh,
Worldly bass— in pumj kin pies.
Quarter, half, the whole, oh, give it 1
I could dwell in bliss and Eve it
In an hour such as this,
Ah. for eveimore I wis—
Sitting in the pleasant kitchen
Whose confines hold a fair witch
Fascinating, dainty, rare,
Ask noeiy ».lancing from her eyes,
At me, ov r pumpkin pies.
JBaby’s 13ank.
“No,” said the engineer, as he stoou
hr the signal to start, “I wasn’t always
aii engineer. I wasn’t anything for a
long time.
“I had the knowlege in my head all
the while, but it was lost under a heap
of rubbish. What fools men are when
left to themselves sometimes I Now,
look at me. Would you say 1 ever was
a tramp ?”
A tram pl
His white, muscular throat—white and
wholesome under the ooal dost —his
strong, well-knitted frame, clear eye and
firm hand, denoted the name of pluck
and courage—a practical woiker; not the
idle, nerveless, relaxed object which is
denominated a tramp, and is a blight on
the lace of nature.
No; this man was never a tramp, and
we told him so.
“But I was, gentb men,” he said. "J
was not only a trump, but the worst kind
of one; and I worked harder and miff red
more to get into that condition timu 1
ever did to teach this.” And he looked
proudly at the polished trimimu gs of his
iron steed.
“111 tell you how it was,” he sii 1, ‘ T
was a tramp, no matter how I cane tc
be so, or why. I lost my Lome, friends,
self-respect, and went from bad to
worse, but I had never broken the laws,
nor wronged anybody but myself, when
I fell in with some fellows who thought
they had found a tool, and they had.
“They said every man lias Ins price,
and they oflered me mine. 1 agreed to
take money and do the work.
“It was tins, to bang about and get
acquainted with tile lusi le of a home—
ti e house of the richest man in the
place—and to show them the way. They
said I looked the most respectable for
the purpose,
“Gentlemen, you wouldn’t trust one
of the gang with a q larter, least of a 1
me as 1 looked then; hut I telt almost
proud of the compliment, and that
afternoon I was to go up to the house
and look for work, or ask for food, just
as it happened to strike me, and when
there was no one at home but the
women-toiks, and look around to see
how we could get in that u>ght; fur rob.
bing, and perhaps murder, was what
they meant.
“It >yas just such a pleasant, peaceful
afternoon as this, and all the doors and
windows were open, and not a soul saw
me as I lounged in through the garden
and up to the Verandah.
“The gang I had fallen in with had
male one mistake—they had kept me
sober enough to make me feel thrt we
were doing a dastardly tr ck; to make me,
t -r the fi st time in many a dav. as vatned
of my own company. But I had gone so
far I must go on.
“1 had walked up the steps and into
the bouse without seeing a soul, and I
stepped into along, cool room, and there
I saw, on the mantle shelf, in a great
gold-framed glass, a white face, and two
I red, bloodshot eves—my own, but what
a fright they gave me! and then I saw
something else—a small iron bank such
as children keep cents in.
“It was made of latticed bars of
wr light iron, and between every bar
was the glitter of gold and silver coin
: I hadn’t a cent in my pocket, was hungry,
tired, footsore, and disgusted with what
I bail undertaken. It came over me
I like a fl uh that I conld take this money
and get out of the gang; it would be dis
honesty, but not such as this they had
planned.
“I reached out my hand, and stopped.
“There, at my very feet, on a white
lace pillow, and all white and fluffy, like
an angel, Jay the loveliest baby I ever
saw in my life. She was asleep; but as
I I looked at her in startled wonder, she
opened her eyes as wide and bright as
daisies, held up both pretty hands,
laughed like a bird singing, and Baid,
. ‘Joe. Joe,’ which wasn't my name at aIL
; I didn't touch the bab v '; hand, and I
&
EMMONS, McKEE & C 0„,
SUCCESSORS TO EMMONS. EADS & CO.
87 BIEdC-A-JD STREET, ROME, O-7L.
Clothing, Furnishing ibois, Hats and Men’s Fine Sheas.
Our stock of Men’s Wear thi« season excels anything ever shown in Rme. We want every man in Cherokee cn’tnty to give ns a oi’l thi’ i'll ai I
we will save you time and m >ney. Ttiis mav seem like big talk, but our immense stock, bought at extremely lew prices, warrants us iu making broad asser
tions. Ours is tee only establishment in Rome where is sold everything worn by the
MALTC SEX —OR BOY.
For Good Goods, Correct S’vles and Seasonable Prices, we are ACKNOWLEDGED HEADQUARTERS, A careful comparison cannot
feil to convince you of this tact. We will appreciate a call.
EfZMJNS, MEE 4 W., Men's and Bays'Orfta,
87 Broad Street, ROMS. Q .
didn’t trw.ch t-be bany.
“While I stood there, a little pale wo.
man came out of her room, and nearly
fainted when she saw me, and 1 sat
down there and told the story, and asked |
her to have me Bent, to prison for pro- I
teotion for myself and others.
“She went for her husband, and all ■
tlie time we were talking the baby
laughed and cooed, and called me by
the name she gave me—’Joe;’ and the
rest of the gang were waiting at the
turn of the road for me to come back
to them.”
“She must- be quite • large girl,
now ?”
“I didn’t give them up; it was not
worth while, when I had put the people
they had designed to rob on guard; they
left the town that night, and didn't go
to prison.
“The man whose house was to be
robbed gave me some work, but 1 didn’t
reform all in a minute, and he never
could reform me at all; it was the baby
who did it. She trusted me.
“When I found my evil iaclinations
were getting the better of nuu I went
to the bnby and she smiled on me. I
grew strong light off ; it made a man of
me.
“I never could tell what the baby saw
in my face to make her help me iu this
way; but it wasn’t of this worliL
She knew she could save me, and
she did it.
•‘That was ten years npo, gentlemen,
und I am more of a man to-day than 1
ever was, and it is her doing.”
“Shi- must lie quite a large gL'l, now,”
we said.
‘ Maybeso; I don’t know how that is;
some folks say they don’t reckon time j
by mouths and years.
“I’d like to feel that she’s the same
sweet, smiling baby, holding out her
hands in that confiding way, and cull
mu that Bum : name; but 1 never wanted
anyone to use the name since she said
it the last time.
“She was going to sleep, never to
wake up, the doctor said; they told me
she wouldu t know me, and that J
would disturb her.
“I went on my knees, and crawled up
to the bed and looked nt her.
“Dear child I she was us white as the
sheets, and her pretty curls never stirred
a hair, and her sweet eyes closed, and I
groaned in my heart, fur I thought slm
was gone; and then she opened hei
oyis, and there came a great struggle
for breath, and oh 1 I’d have died t<
help her, and she just looked at me.
and pnt one hand up—l fancied she
jiointed up there —and she smiled on
me, and says she, all at once. ‘Joe I
Joe I’ and then she made her mother
understand sho wanted something.
“It was the little bank, and she
wanted me to have it. I took it to
humor her, and thought I’d give it back
to her when she got well.
“And then she smiled again, and
I listened to hear her say ‘Joe,’ and all
was still.
“You see, I never could do wrong
now; but how did she know about that
little bank and my wicked thoughts ?
“And she forgave and loved me too,
pretty dear. The smoke makes me cry.
There’s the signal. Good-day, gentle
men. ”
Did Not Object.
Ma “I have my donbts about Mr.
Grayfellow, my dear, and wish you had
not said ‘yes’ before consulting me.”
Daughter—“ Why, what is the matter
with him?”
“He has no trade, business or profes
sion that I can discover, and has cer
tainly no expectations, as his relatives
are all poor.”
“But, ma, just think what a good hus
band he will make. There won’t be a
quarrel from one year’s end to the
other.”
“You think bo now, no doubt.”
“Oh ! but ma, lam sure of it He is
bo amiable.”
“Perhaps his amiability has not been
| tested.”
“Ab! but it has. Yon know how
most men dislike parents-in-law. ”
“Yes.”
“Well, he said he would not object at
all to living with you and pa.”— Phila.
Call.
Inbtblctor in logic to Mr. H.—B'
what method of reasoning do you infer
! that a bullet io Lot after it strikes s>
i target? Mr. H.—By picking it up, sir.
MAJOR BILKLXS.
THE CONFIDENCE GAME THAT WAS WORKED
ON AN UNBUcI'ECIING STRaNGE II.
It was a sunny day in July. I was
j lately home from a lengthened sojourn
in Bombay, and had been to the India
office to see one of the i.fliuia's iibcut my
furlough. I had two or three hours to
spare before my train—l lived at S v n
onks—and I didn’t snow how to employ
‘lie time.
Irresolute I stood at the corner of the
haymarket, not having nude up my
mind which Way to go. I hadn't stood
there a second when I felt a hand laid
upon my arm and saw at my side a very
good-looking, weli-dnsnd num.
“My dear fellow,” he said, "how are
you ?”'
I didn’t know but what I knew the
man, for one meets so many people of
his kidney ; and, for slight I could tell, I
might have beeu hospitably entertained
by,him somewhere or other up the coun
try, so that I didn't like lo confess my
ignorance of his name and quality. And
we walked cordially together toward Hl.
Martin’s church.
“When was the last time we met?”
said my new friend. "Surely at the
governor-general's ball at Calcutta.”
“Never was at Calcutta tn niy life,” I
said; “mine’s the Bombay pn sideucy.”
“And I've been talking to yon all this
time for Col. S u>op. Is it possible that
I am deceived.”
With a slight degree of acerbity I re
plied that l was no colonel at ail, but a
mere civil servant.
I “Mo-it wouderlnl !” cued my friend.
I “Never was such an extraordinary re
seinLLince. Pardon the unconscious
liberty I’ve tale n.”
Well, we were very polite to each
other. M j Bilkins, it appeared, was
the man’s name. He was un agreeable
fellow, and we walked on together in a
veiy amiable way. Bukins hoped I’d
come and look him up nt- his litlle place
in Surrey, and I gave hmi my curd and
-aid I'd be glad to see him at Seven
0 ills.
“And what are yon going to do now ?”
said the niujor. “Como and lunch with
me. What do you Bay to going into
the city and having a bit of fish togeth
er? 1 know a capital place—Ohuffiu’B,
close to Billingsgate, and handy for our
trains. T<ke tin penny boat from
Hungerford, eh ?"
I willingly agreed. The tide was well
up, and we had a pleasant sail down
river. There, is no more charming vista
(han iliat from Hungerford bridge.
We 1 mded close to London bridge,
and the major introduced me to Chuff- !
in's. We had no end of fish of the very
best. But the mij t seduced me into
< x rrivugai.ee. A pint of champagne
with our firn, s.ian brown sherry, and,
to wi d up, some capital iced punch
an iniquitous sort of proceeding for a
man wliohad a larnny dinner awaiting
him at 7; but 1 got into the spirit of the
thing, somehow, and the major’s con
vernation was redly quits interesting.
“I most have now," said the major,
calling the waiter and picking out a nine ■
penny cigar. He took a handful of i
charge out of his pocket. “Yon 11 al
low me to settle for this little afl'air ?”
“Couldn’t think of it,” I said, warmly,
“not oiuany account.”
“Oh, nonsense I W 11 I won’t press
it,” he said, seeing J was determined, i
“Let's see, two-and-six, five, seveu-aud- j
six and six for the waiter, 8 Bhibings a I
piece; shall I settle ? ’
“Do, if you please," I laid handing i
my friend half a sovereign.
Tne major gave me a 2 shilling piece '
and lounged away to the little desk where
they took the money, made his financial
arrangements, and vanquished with 8
parting wave of the hand.
For myself I confess that I felt a little
muddled with the good things of which
I had partaken. I ordered * brandy
and-soda and a screw of tobacco, ami
indulged in a long clay pipe.
Presently, as the time for my train
approached, I kn ickel out the ashes of
my pipe aud inu ie my way to the door.
“I have to pay for a braady-and-soda
and tobacco, ”s nd L
“Y-s, sir,” su'd the waiter, who hov
ered aliont tochec'; off ih •’• • -. ‘and
two dinners, cil mio-i-pie. ■ i i i.-uli
—lB -hillings, it you pie.'. , Sir.”
“B-ut,” I remonstrated, ‘my friend
paid for all that.”
“I beg your pardon, sir,” said the
young woman at the desk; “he hit
word, sir, that yon would settle for
everything.”
Well, they wouldn’t let me go without
paving, and I wont home rather crest
fallen. I wrote to Major Biikins, at
Blickley Park, Surrey, but my letter
came back in duo course marked in red
and other colored inks nil over it: “Not
known; try ” ever so many places.
Oh, Major Biikins, I didn’t mind so
much paying for your feed and giving
yon a little pocket money, but it was
rather too bad to hand me for change
out of my halt sovereign a florin that
proved to boa “duffer.”
IlnuFehold Hints ami Helps.
Tender turnips cooked thus make a
good entree; Put into a pan six ounces
of butter and a tablespoonful of flour
simmer these over a quick fire until they
become slightly brown. Add a gill of
boiling water, then six ounces of raw
bam cut into dies, a little salt and pep
per, one onion, a little parsley, aud four
or five small turnips cut iuto small bits.
Cover the sauce-pan, and let this cook
until the turnips are done. Carrots are
also cooked in this way, and the season
ing is sometimes removed and the vege
table served without it.
A most appetizing salad is made by
shaving cabbage about as fine as it is
possible to shave it, sprinkle white mus
tard seed over it, using enough so that
there will be a distinct mustard flavor.
An ounce of seed to one small head of
cabbage will do; one or two yellow pep
pers should be cut into very email slices
and added; pour cold vinegar over all,
add a little salt and sugar, and then let
it stand for a day or two, so that the i
cabbage and pepper are really pickled.
This may be packed in jars or put into
cans aud kept all winter. It is nice with
oysters or with cold meats.
The old fashioned way of stewing i
pumpkin is done away with forever. A
woman of an investigating turn of mind, I
tried baking the pumpkin. She cut it ;
iuto several pieces and set it into tho i
oven. When soft she took it out, scraped
all tho pumpkin from the shell, rubbed
it through a colander, and there it was
fine and light, absolutely free from
lumps. Dried pumpkin used to form an
important part of the winter’s stores,
and those of us who are so fortunate as
to remember the pies of our grand
mothers, know that no other mole of
preparing pumpkins for pies in winter is
so excellent. It is very little trouble
I after the pumpkin is baked and sifted,
jto spread it on plates and dry it. It
must be kept iu closely-covered jars, or
it will become wormy.
Pies made of apple butter are highly
recommended. For one pie take half a
cup—a good large half cup—of the but
ter, one egg, half a cup of sugar, one
third of a teaspoonful of allspice, and
sweet milk to make the requisite quan
tity for one pie. Bake with a lower
crust only. >
A South Carolina Ballot
The Barnwell (3. 0.) People says that
j the following qnaintaud curious indorse
ment was found on the back of a Cleve
land and H- ndricks ticket, cast at Barn
well, Nov. 4:
- “Grover Cleveland, stand up 1 A jury
I of your countrymen have found you
! guilty of designing and conspiring wiih
i divers Democrats to become President
; of the United 8 ates, to the great harm
! and personal injury of over 10 >,ODO loyal
! officeholders of the Republic. And
more: You have caused auger, hatred,
I ill-will, curses, aud maledictions tospritig
up aud live among the hitherto united
I Republican family of this country.
“Your advocates have defended you
with great zeal and ability; indeed, such
zeal aud ability have never before been
j known in the history of Presidential
campaigns in these United States.
“As the jury have recommended you
to mercy, I make your sentence as leni
ent as the law allows.
“It is, that you, Grover Cleveland, be
i confined at hard labor within the walls
of the White House, in the city of
Washingion, District of C alum 1 da, for
the term of four long years. Aud mqy
the Lord have merev ou your soul,
■ “Bring in Tom Hendricks."
AN EPISODE ON FIFTH AVEXUE.
A (worgeoiia F<i«*pnsr« , » tt stMnewque Tiger
sui<l u i a•” Driver.
An equipage whirled around tlie cor
ner of Thirty-ninth street, New York,
says a local paper, about 11 o'clock and
dashed up Fifth avenue with a clatter
and rumble that attracted the eyes of
the spectators and brought a crowd of
well-fed looking faces to the Union
League Club’s windows. There was a
team of blooded horses harnessed to an
English vehicle that looked something
like a mail phaeton. The horses were
perfectly matched, beautifully built and
mettlesome and fiery. Their necks were
arched, aud as they threw their heads in
the air the heavy chains that ran from
the p -le to their collars rattled musical
ly. The harness was gold plated, and
the collars and reins were as white as
snow. The phaeton had small wheels
with many spokes and was bottle green
in color. In the rumble behind sat a
tiger in top boots and tight fitting coat.
His arms were folded aud he held his
nose high in the air. He seemed to be
a part of the vehicle. Directly in front
of him and on one side of the seat whs a
benntifnl Scotch collie with silken ears
and delicate paws. His nose was held
iu the air, too, and he seemed like a
statue, except for the softness of his
coat.
Beside him sat the driver. The toes
of her tiny boots were pressed close to
gelbcr on the foot rest ut the foot of the
dashboard, aud she sat on her raised
seat with an erec'ness that even the
groom might have envied. It may be
said that, her Andy chiselled nose was
also held in the air. She was clad in an
English jacket that fitted her superb
form perfectly, and she kept her big
eyes straight before her between the
heads of her blooded horses. Ou her
hands wire gloves with gauntlets that
came above the elbow with a crest
worked upon the buck of either hand.
She held the reins well down aud bal-
■ aueed a long whip across them as the
horses bounded along.
As the team dashed across Fortieth
' street two girls, who were walking down
I Fifth avenue, saw the fair driver and
j one of tin rn waved her parasol and
j stepped to the curb. The lady in tin
i phaeton turned her horses toward the
I curb and drew them up with an abrupt-
■ ness tint sent their heads four feet high
• iu the air. The tiger slid from his place
and stood at the horses’ heads and the
driver exchanged n few words with the
pedestrians. Then they all smiled and
I nodded, the driver touched the horses
I with the whip and the ligersprang aside
l as they dashed up Filth avenue. He
I jumped for the rumble, caught it by the
merest chance, resumed his statuesque
' pose and folded his arms serenely. His
■ mistress never looked around to see if he
was there, and the nose of the dog was
still high iu the air.
Tralii Pirates in Kansas City.
The Kansas City Journal says: The
cannon ball left the Union Depot on
time and was whistled at the Bridge
Depot by a switchman whose name
could not be learned. When the train
; slacked up in the cut Engineer 0 Brien
saw that the switch was not right and
. signalled Conductor Langhorn to that
■ effect. Before his signal could be an
swered, however, the train had gone on
i the track reserved to the Hannibal and
St Joe and a block was placed under
i ihe wheels of the sleeper as soon as room
t had been made to allow another train to
i pass. This gave the impiession that
the train had pulled out to allow a freight
I to pass, and by this means the gang
j which had the object of robbery were
■ ; enabled to accomplish their purpose.
When a full stop had been mode some
fifteen men sprang on board aud one of
i them, with the usual call of “Change
i | cars,” caused the passengers to leave
11 the train, and as the bewildered travel-
I ers passed out one by one each was
“held up” while their money and valu
i ables were taken. How much the actu
al 10-s is could not be learned, but from
! reliable sources it is estimated that the
j' robbery could not have been less than
s $5,000 aud may have been much heav
f ier. The express car aud baggage were
r not mol.sted, and the employees there
f only knew of the trouble by hearing the
j nibse of shots aud the exclamations ol
i passengers as they were robbed.
THE HUMOROUS PAPERS.
WHAT WE FIND IN Til KIR, COLUMNS
TO bMiLK OVER.
A Giddy Younjr Thing— III* fiend wrr so
l.igtH—A Hird tn tlir Hand—For Perfect
Utt uiony— Wuh it Business Eye, Etc»«
Etc.
A BIRD IN THE HAND.
“Well,” he said to the minister at the
conclusion of the ceremony, “how much
do I owe you ?”
“Oh, I’ll leave that to vou,” was the
reply. “You can better estimate the
value of the service rendered.”
“Suppose we postpone settlement
then, say for a year. By that time I
would know whether I ought to give
you a hundred dollars or nothing.”
“No, no,” said the clergyman, who is
a married man himself, “make it three
dollars now."
BOTH KNEW HEB FEELINGS.
“What struck you as being Miss
Fnsseufeather's strongest point?” asked
young Orimsonbeak of young Yeast at
the chib.
“Well,” replied Yeast, rubbing his
face at the thought of his recent exper
ience with the lady in question; “her
hand struck me about as forcibly as any
thing I”
‘ Ah !” exclaimed his companion, who
could remember a like experience; “you
proposed to her, too, did you?”
The same clove di I for both of them.
Kongers Statesman.
OOULD NOT STAND IT.
Tlie adopted daughter of a North
Carolina farmer ran away aud returned
to the family hovel on the mountain.
A neighbor looking for her stray cows
came across her standing in the door,
and accepted an invitation to enter.
Looking around at the squalor and filth,
she said: “I don’t see, Sallie, what made
you leave them good folks, where every
thing was so nice and neat.” “Wa’al,"
was the reply, “you see, I was just
gorged with neatness.”
SO VERY LIGHT.
They were engaged. They had been
engaged a long time, and the wild
glamor of new love, with its sly hand
squeezes and its soft sentiment, had
given place to the sensible devotion of
permanent affection. He was sitting on
the sofa reading to her, and had pillowed
his head on her shoulder. He read
a while and then remarked:
“Little one, am I heavy ?’’
“Oh, no; go on,” she replied, being
interested in the story. “Don’t think
such a thing. Your head’s as light
as anything.”
And he has been bothered ever since
trying to make up his mind as to what
she really meant. - IF ashington Hatchet
BUSINESS CHANGES.
Two gentlemen met on the street
“Still in the hardware business?”
asked one.
“No,” replied the other. “I have re
tired from the hardware business and am
trying to do a little something in Wall
street”
A year later they met again.
“Still in Wall street?” asked one.
“No,” replied the other. “I have re
tired from Wall street, and am trying
to do a little in the hardware busiuesu. ”
A GIDDY YOUNG THING.
The very venerable President Barnard,
of Columbia College, was showing the
fine new library of that institution to a
party, one component pJNt of which
was a giddy young thing. She was
duly impressed by the high forehead
and white hair and head of the man of
knowledge, aud was charmingly defer
ential and attentive to his remarks.
Tue library is a magnificent hall, and
the books are in shelves around the
sides, the upper ones reached* i>y bal
conies.
“We have a floor space almost a hun
dred feet square,” said Dr. Barnard,
with some enthusiasm, “entirely un
hrokou by post or pillar.”
The girl looked down at the expanse
of smooth flooring. To her mind there
was only one Worthy use of such facil
ities.
“Doctor,” she naively asked, “when
do you give the first ball ? I vow I
must have an invitation.”— Louisville
Post.
A HARMONY TOO PERFECT.
A fashionably dressed lady, accom
panied by a distinguished looking gen- ‘
tieman, called at the office of a promi
nent Austin lawyer, who asked: “What
can I do for you ?”
“I want toobtain a divorce from my
husband here,” said the lady.
“And I want to obtain a divorce from
her just us badly as she does from me,”
said the husband.
| “Where such perfect harmony of sen
timent exists between husband ami wife
the law provides no adequate remedy.
You had better go back and live to
gether until you disagree with each
other more than you do at present, and
then perhaps I can do something for
you.”— Texat Siftinge.
A SALE—NO ALE.
•‘Ah, good morning,” said the pro
prietor of the saloon, as a gentleman en
tered the door and looked hesitatingly
around, “what can I do for you this
morning? Have some Bass’ ale, fresh
and ”
“No,” interrupted the gentleman;
“I’ll have some Sheriff’s sale,” and he
pinned the necessary notice on the
wall.— ln trait Post.
Mr. Douglas, the great English
ship-builder, says that the Great East
ern was a trifle ahead of her time in
size, but not muoh. All experience has
shown that the large ship is safer and
more profitable than the small one.
Only one captain and one set of officers
is required, let the ship be ever so
large, and I presume that ships of
20,000 tons will in the future be as com
mon as are ships of 5,000 tons at pres
ent. The limit in the United States is
the depth of water. Your harbors are
for the most part shallow, and so far as
New York is concerned the limit tA '3
J draught has been reached.