Newspaper Page Text
4
Clic IP anting slctos
Mormng News Building, Sevannah, ua.
FRIDAY, OCTOBER 3. 183*0.
Registered at the Postofflce in .Saman ih.
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OIR AKW YORK OFFICE.
Mr. J. J. Flynn, General Advertising Agent
of the Morning News, office 23 Park Row,
Few York. All advertising business outside of
the states of Georgia, Florida and South Caro
lina will be managed by him.
The Morning News Is on flic at the following
places whore Advertising ltates an i other in
formation regarding the paper can be obtained:
NEW YORK CITY—
J. Ji Rates. 3S Park Row.
Q. p. R .well A Cos., 10 Spruce street.
W. W Sma r*t Cos., 21 Park Row.
Frank Kikrnan A Cos . 152 Broadway.
Da< cu Y A Cos.. 27 I’.'irk riacti.
J. W. THOMmv. .19 I’arit Row.
AKSUIC.N N EWSPAPEK I’URLISHEHS’ ASSOCIATION,
Pott-r Building.
PHILADELPHIA—
N. W. \i r.n A Son, Times Building.
BOSToN
6. R. Niles, 2M Washington street
Pkttungili. A Cos., 10 State street.
CHICAGO -
Coro A Thojus, 45 Randolph street.
C NCINNATI -
Edwin Aldus Company, 66 West Fourth street.
NEW HAVEN—
fur H. P Hi bbard Compawy, 25 Elm street.
ST LOUIS -
Nsi son Chf.sman & Cos., 1127 Pine street.
ATLANTA-
Uornino News Bureau, t% Whitehall street.
MACON
Daii.v Teleoraph Optic*. 597 Mulberry street.
INDEX TO NEW ADVERTISEMENTS.
Meetings— Acorn Lodge No. 108, I. O. O. F.;
Landrum Lodge No. 48, A. and F. M.; Irish Na
tional league of America; Pulaski Council No.
153. R. A.
Special Notices —Venison at Joyce’s; Notice,
Southern Electropose Company; Ray Street
Property for Sale, 51. J. Solomons; As to Bills
Against British Steamship Monkseaton; Change
of Firm, Max D. Hirsch; Notice, Phillips Bros.;
Notice, J. S. l'\ Barbour; Notice, Wells Bros.
Amusements—W. H. Power's Company at the
Theater OcL 6.
Pearline-- Jas. Pyle’s.
Auction Sals—Fine Furniture, Etc., by J.
McLaughlin & Son.
Circulars Nos. 173 and 174—Railroad Com
mission of Georgia.
Guns—G. S McAlpin.
Legal Notices— Citation from the Ordinary
of Camden County; Notice to Debtors and Cred
itors.
Cheap Column Advertisements Help
Wanted; Employment Wanted; For Rent; For
Sale; Lost; Personal: Miscellaneous.
Congress would not have very far to look
in order to flud another postmaster as good
as old Wheat.
Missouri is excited. Local republicans
are trying to pull down her Vest. So she
presents a somew hat mill si front.
Instead of being good old Wheat, the
postmaster of the House of Representatives
turns out to be the worst sort of cheat.
Pennsylvania papers are printing a story
about ‘‘roaring gas wells.” It will be re
membered that the republican candidates
are orating over the state.
Fay Templeton’s comic opera company
has gone to pieces. It was disbanded in
Philadelphia last week. And now, like our
own Col. Norwood, she’s "got no show.”
Comediau John L. Sullivan is always
doing something dramatically startling and
unexpected. He is said to have appeared
on the stage perfectly sober Tuesday night.
When the gas men meet at the De Soto
about trie Idei of October they should not
be referred to as gas meoters; nor should
the landlord restrict them to light diet and
jet waiters.
Sin re financial firms have been going to
smash so rapidity in Wall street of late the
New York Journal of Finance nas been
advertising that a certain Pittsburg "brake
has no rival.”
Girls at Wesleyan College, Delaware, 0.,
indulged in a slugging and hair pulling
matinee, Tuesday, about class caps, refusing
to heed the maxim that “whom the cap fils
may wear it.”
Matt the Mute is still hustling around
Panusyhaaia and gathering id the shockl.*
for the benefit of the g. o. p. and protection.
And the monopolists are liberally dividing
the fat with him.
Nowhere is the iniquitously pernicous
tendency of slang more strikingly exempli
fied than in Russia. Why, the czar do,is not
dare venture out of doors but somebody
wants to shoot his hat.
When a man has sat quietly for half an
hour and won lered whether the attendant
has dropped his dinner and trod on it or
died on the way to the kitchen, he begins to
seriously question whether the knight of the
white apron or he is really the waiter.
4* - ■— ■
Kansas has a candidate for congress
wearing the savory name of Ham. He is
hus ling to save his bacou, and has a large
m>b to help him. By the date of election
day he will be a pretty well cauvassod Ham,
and, possibly, thoroughly cured of political
aspirations.
Political prophets say that George Wash
ington Peck is cutting capers to some pur
pose in his campaign for governor of Wis
consin, aud that in his own city of Milwau
kee he will poll an enormous vote. Ttiere
is plenty of room for it on his poll. He has
nothing else there.
Friends of Clayton in the Secoud district
of Arkansas, say they iuteud to abandon
Langley, the fusiou candidate against
Breckinridge, because he hus lately spokun
against the bayonet bill, aud no niaatu “a
itraiguout republican bayonetter.” After
the elecdon they’ll find themselves pretty
badly “stuck.”
A Carpst-baggsr at Home.
Maj. J. tienry GoulJ, of Melfl-ld. Mas*.,
is a candidate for auditor on the republican
I ticket in that state. Ua was nominated
i Sept. 17. Maj. J. Henry Gould is well
known in Savannah. Hs was collector of
internal revenue here twenty years ag\ He
came with the uuion army a.:d remained.
He dcubtless thought there was a better
chauco to improve his fortunes here than at
the north.
He succeeded in getting himself appointed
to the office of collector ef internal revenue.
Tbe office was a very fat one at tbe time,
but fat as It was it didn’t yield sufficient fat
to satisfy Maj. Gould. He went out of
office iu 1872, and an examination of his
aooounte shewed th3t ha owed tbe govern
ment very nearly 450,000.
Maj Gould went away and left his bonds
mm to settle with tbe government. The
government, of course, promptly jumped
on tbe bondsmen. It doesn’t seem to
hare troubled itieif about Maj. Gould. He
was a republican, and. it may be, bad in
fluential friends in high places. Maj.
Gould is one of the constituent* of Senator
Hoar and Representative Lodge, the author
of the force bilL It would not lie surprising
if Maj. Gould were one of thosj who insists
that the force bill shall be passod. The
convention which nominated him last
month indorsed it.
But the government didn’t succeed in
getting all of the $50,003, for the disap
pearance of which Maj. Gould wa< respon
sible. The suit which was instituted against
the bondsmen dragged along through many
years, until all the bondsmen except one
died or lost their property. That one is an
old man now, anil on last Tuesday the gov
ernment agroad to accept $3,000 of his
hard-earned accumulations in settlement of
the claim, provided he would pay all the
costs. A settlement was effected on th at
basis.
But why hasn’t the gavernment bothered
Maj. Gould in all these years! Aud why
hasn’t Maj. Gould stretched out a helping
hand to his struggling bondsman here in
Savannah > It he is the good man which
his party in Massachusetts thinks ho is,
how is it that ne permits another to suffer
for his wrongful act!
Muj. Gould’s Savannah record was circu
lated in Boston last Monday, and a reporter
of the Boston Herald west to his home iu
Medfieldand asked him about it. From
the reporter’s account the mjor has a very
pleasant home, and is highly thought of by
his neighbors. What sort of a man most
ho be, thut he can surround himself with
thecomforts which only wealth can procure,
while tbe consequMicss of his unlawful acts
hreaten to overwhelm in financial ruin the
mn who befriended him in the days when
his friends were fow !
The Herald reporter asked Maj. Gould
ab< us the report of his irregularities when
he was in the service. Did Maj. Guild
a unit that he was guilty of irregularities!
Tnls is what he said:
“I think it would be in verv had taste for
me to say anything uDout thorn just now, n*
they are not spec fie enough. 80.-kdes, I
Would find little eJsi to do If I attempted to
refut > all the campaign stories which will
be circulated about me. Look here at these
papers aul see if I have not a good war
record. Besides, I have been a commander
of our grand army post here for three years,
and am also a member of the Loyal Lezion
* * * * * * *
I really don’t know what to think of these
things, but I cau assure you they are only
rumors.”
Can it be possible that the Maj. Gould
who is a candidate for state auditor of
Massachusetts and the John H. Gould who
left his bondsmen in the lurch in Savannah
away back in 1872 are not one and the same
person? That would bo the inference from
v - hat Maj. J. Henry Gould, of Medfield,
says. It is pretty safe to assume, how’ever,
that the only difference is that between the
carpet-bagger gathering spoils and the car
pet-bagger returned to the home of his
nativity.
The Macon and Atlantic.
It seems thut the Macon and Atlantic
people think they can build a seaport city as
well as a railroad, and so they have sur
veyed a route from Guyton to Colleton’s
Neck—a place near Bluffton, S. C. Tney
may intend to take their railroad there, but
the chances are they don’t. As business
men they cannot fail to see what a mistake
it uld be to do so.
They might be able to build a respecta
ble village at Colletou’s Neck, but not a
city that would afford their road much
passenger or freight traffic. Attempts have
been made all along the South Atlantic
coast to build towns, most all of which have
bean failuros.
It would be better for the Macon and At
lantic to como to Savannah at a cost of
$1.U00.000 for terminal facilities than to go
to Colleton’s Neck, where a terminal site
can be obtained for little or nothing; but
terminal facilities can be obtained at Sa
vannah for much less than f1,000,000, very
much less, and when the road is here it will
have a business at once that will be worth
something.
It Is probable that its bonds could be sold
for 10 cents on the dollar more if its ter
minal were at. Savannah than if it were at
Colleton’s Neck. The advantages of Sa
vannah as a seaboard terminal are so much
greater than those of any other place on the
South Atlantic coast that it is diffioult to
aee how the Macon and Atlantic folks can
seriously think of going elsewhere.
Why is it that the Secretary of State, Mr.
Blaine, refuses to have anythiug to do with
the Jamaica exposition ? It ope.is Feb. 1,
next, and every country in Europe has
applied for space, amt will be represented
by committees from their respective govern
ments. Even Canada aod the Central and
South American republics are taking a deep
iuterost in it. This country alone holds
aloof. It officially ignores this Jamaica
enterprise. What’s the matter with Mr.
Blaine’s reciprocity policy i
Senator Carlisle says that the reciprocity
which the republicans have put in the Mc-
Kinley tariff bill is retaliation, and he is
right. And the tariff pill is likely to prove
a retaliatory oue to its authors. It will not
make frieuds for the Republican party, ex
cept among the trusts that aro sustained by
protection. The farmers know that it
doesn’t benefit them, aud they will retali
ate. They will, by their votes, make the
Republican party understand that there are
other interests bosides those of the trusts.
Birchall calls his conviction a “here’s -a
how-dc-vou-da” Pretty soon he will be
introduce Ito the business end of a lariat,
ami the public is somewhat curious to know
how be will greet that. Po sibly he’ll say
“Ho! but this is abiarsted singular neck-tie,
doncborknow,” or words to that effect.
Washington isn’t kicking any about the
census. But wtiat difference does a little
thiug like the census make to a town that
has u j base bail mne?
THE MORNING NEWS: FRIDAY, OCTOBER 3, 1890.
&
I Heed and the Force Bill.
Representative Crisp, who reached bis
| home in Americas a few day* ago,expressed
jtoa local paper some rather interesting
j views about congressmen and the work of
. congrea. Among other thingi he said it
was by no miens certain wnasthe fate of
the force bill would be. Ha express-1 tbe
belief that if the republicans should win the
next House the bill would be navsed, but
that if the demo.'rats should win it wo ltd
be dropped.
There is a chance that it would not bo
j passed even if the republicans should get
a majority of the next House.
Representaive Crisp says that there is
no friendship between Senator Quay and
Speaker Risd, both of them being troubled
by tbe bussing of the presidential b-e. If
the republicans should control the next
House, therefore, Roed would again
be choeen spoaker, and would become a very
prominent canlldate for the presidential
nomination of bis party. The passage of
the force bill would help him to get tbe
nomination, because he is regarded as its
special • champion. To defeat Speaker
Reed’s aspirations Senator Qjay
might use his infl ionce to
prevent the bill from passing the Senate.
He might be able to get enough senators to
stand by him in his opposition to it to de
feat it. It cannot be preiicted. however,
with any degree of accuracy w hat course
Senator Quay will pursue with respoct to
toe bill. In our dispatches yesterday Sena
tor Edmunds is quoted as saying the bill
will pass at the next session. It is a noto
rious fact, however, that that senator’s
predictions caunot be relied upon. To
insure the defeat of the forca bill
the democrats in all parts of t ie c >antry
should make a 1 extraordinary effort to get
control of the next House.
Representative Crisp regards Speaker
Reed as a very brainy man, but a very ar
bitrary and domineering one, and he says
that am mg the republicans iu Washington
it is common talk that Speaker Rred is aim
ing at the presidency, and is sparing no ef
fort to make himself his party’s standard
bearer in the next national campaign. He
has the extremists, the monopolists and the
blooJy-shirt faction of his party at his
back. Under the circ umstances, therefore,
it would not be surprising if ha should be
the next republican candidate for Piesi
dent.
If the democrats win the next House Rep
resentative Crisp will bo speaker. Thera is
no question about that. He has made a
record in congress of which his constitu
ents—in fact, all democrats of Georgia—
are proud.
Advantages or the Alabama Alliance.
Cotton dealers iu New York are great y
wrought up over a dispatch from Mobile
stating that George F. Gaither, business
manager of the Alabama alliance exchange,
announced Saturday last, over Ills own sig
nature, in the official paper of the order in
Alabama, that the exchange is now pre
pared to handle 500,000 hales of cotton and
is ready to advauc > $35 per bale on insured
cotton in the warehouses. He states that
the exchange has engaged a buyer to buy
cotton from alliance planters forexpoi t.aud,
when desired, settle with them after the
sale of the cotton in Liverpool, paying the
price brought there, less freigut aud in
surance. This plan is said to net planners
$5 a bale more than they now get by saviug
the profit of tho intermediary in the present
method of handling cotton. Large quantities
of cotton are said t > be stored along the
Alabama railways awaiting the coming of
the alliauco buyer.
The cotton committee of the alliance is
said to be negoti atiug an arrangement
to secure au advance at 4 per cent of $32 per
bale on 2,000,000 bales of the season’s crop.
How fur these negotiations have advanced
no one seems able to ascertain just now, as
the details are known only tithe committee
in cha-ge of the business. Should they
proceed to ultimate fruitio i, however, the
alliance of Alabama will certainly bo placed
in a very commanding position in that state,
both commercially and politically.
At the same time the alliance would do
well to avoid politics if it would sustain and
increase its strength.
The McKinley bill will assist in making
the English language the language of tho
world. It provides that after March 6
next “all articles of foreign manufacture,
•such as are usually or ordinarily marked,
stamped, branded or labeled, and all pack
ages containing such or other Imported
articles, shall respectively be plainly
marked, stamped, branded or labeled in
legible English words, so as to indicate tho
country of their origin, and unless so
marked, stamped, branded or labeled they
shall not be admitted to entry.” The man
who had the foregoing put in the bill pur
poses, probably, to set up a printing press in
Europe to print labels in the English lan
guage for olive oil, wines and various other
articles. If the tariff bill is a farmer’s
measure it is not easy to see how tho farm
ers are to be benefited by this provision
of it.
Tragedian Jeetns Owen O’Connor has
been cavorting over the boards iu Syracuse,
N. Y. He had a long run there. It was
something of a surprise to him, too. He
didn’t expect it. But the people got so
wildly enthusiastic over his saw-mill elocu
tion that after they had sung “Annie
Rooney” in chorus and bombarded him with
about four barrels of assorted vegetables he
“took that step” to prevent them from turn
ing the hose on him. This was his longest
run for this season. It was about three
miles to the station.
Another young man has shot a woman
for refusing to marry him. This time ho
was at St. Augustine, Fla. Hinging is
altogether too luxurious a death for such a
wretch. If anybody in this broad land
should enjoy life, liberty and the pursuit of
happiness, it is the Indies. This coward had
no more right to compel that girl to marry
him tha Ihe had to force her to eat dog,
which would probably have been just as
pleasant. Aud it is positively unfortunate
that the community can do nothing worse
than hang him.
Gen. Jubnl Early has been playing in
rather hard luck of late. Quickly upon the
loss of his bouse by fire congress "jumped
on” his b ead and butter by legislating his
lottery out of the mails, and now the wires
tell us that a five-story brick house nas
caved iu on him. But he serenely survives
all disasters, and continues to go about and
swear with as sharp an inflection on the
high notes as ever.
R >anoke, Va., is to erect a magniflcient
granite tower to commemorate it growth
from a hamlet ot 400 in 188 J to a city of
20,000 inna' itante. Evidently it likes itself
real w ell ayd admires its symmetrical pro|r
tions enthusiastically. It adopts this c .Id
stone method of patting itself ou the buck.
PRRSON4L,
Ge. Abram Duryea, tbe fatuous commander
of tbe New York Sereaib nt, is reported
i in a critical condition from paralysis.
Lady Adelaide, wife of Hon Frederick Cad
who died recently, wa; ons of the eignt
yomif la-ie, who Dor© tbe train of Victoria at
her coronation.
Gad's Hii-l. Place. Rorheater, famous as the
home of Charles Dickens, has just been pur
chased by the Hon. Francis Latham, advocate
general at Bombay.
P*wci Geokoe unubbed so many persons at
Quebec that the officials there are said to be
fflai of his departure He has just sailed
thence with Ad aura* V/atson.
Representative Hopei** has introduced a
bill toat literally has million* in H for Chicago,
aa open mooey-making senerne. He wants a
branch mint locate! in that city.
Dr. B. W. Richardson pr -tests in a medical
journal against the prop -se 1 use of the lethal
ehtmber in capital cases on the ground that it
would be & and 3*r *dawiou of scieuce.
Tii* severs illness from which the King of
Portugal haa been tm:le:ing appears to have
been primarily caused by his majesty, when on
board h!s yac ;t near the port of Othon, -irink-
IdK ft f?*ass of unflltered and polluted water.
A numb 2 r of literary women will take part
in the congress for women which is to be held
in Toronto. Canada, on • >cL 14. Among the
shakers will ba Mrs. .Tuli k Ward How e, Mrs.
Kate iraanot Wells und Mrs. Kate Tannatt
Woods.
Heretofore newspaper correspondents have
been greatly concerned about the healta of
the Prince of Wales, but those who observed
him wnilo he was at Homburg give tne os
suranc ‘ that he soeme and alarmed about it
himself.
.Umen M. Turner, whom the republicans of
Michig.in have nominate'! for governor, issev
•*rai times a millionaire and yet a farmer. He
lives on is. 2.0 m) acre farm near Lansing, run# a
dairy of cows an 1 has a large quantity of
laacy stock, including a keanel or dogs.
Sherman Hoar, who is running as a congres*
sional candidate on the democratic ticket iu the
Massachusetts district now represented by Gen.
N. i*. Banks, lsauepne x -f Senator Hoar, and
was named after Senator Sherman. Mr. Hoar
graduated from Harvard about eight years ago.
A friend of Jay Gould, shaking of his gen
erosity, tolls the Now York Press: “Jim Fiske
left ab*o utely nothin;. but Gould
gave his widow $259,000 in government bonds.
It was a big pile of money for him in those
days, although it would b • scarcely a riea bite
now/*
fjUEEN Isabella hae been seriously ill from
tho results of a coli which she caught at Ober
ammerga.L Tne day on which sio was present
a the Passion Play a violent thunderstorm
drenched ail the spectators. Being exceedingly
stout, she was unab eto extricate h_*rse lf from
the crowd wnen tne storm broke.
Count Pappenh£im. who married Miss
W T heeler, tho Philadelphia heiress, has his am
bition, liw the rest of us. Bit the count is
modest and does not propose to write a book or
produce a play. *T atn troing to brew a better
beer than she Dortmund,” said the count, **if I
spend my last dollar—that is my amoition/'
Thomas Moran, the artist, imported recently
ft Venetian gondola, formerly the p.*oi>erty and
water carriage of Robert Browning, and is now
swimming on Redboo* pond, Eastbmnpton, L.
I. The New York past > n bouse people made
Mr. Moran pay a duty of 45por cent, ad valorem
under tne schedule for manufactures of wood
and metal.
BRIGHT BITS.
The tall pines pine.
The pawpaws pause.
And the bumbiehe.’ bumbles rH day;
The eavesdropjier drops.
And the grasshopper hope,
While gen’ly the cowslips away.
—Pittsburg Disootch.
Some men buy umbrellas, some men achieve
them, aud some get wet and swear.— Texas
Siftings.
Before tho Dentist's Door—lf I were only
sure tuat the doctor was out, I would ring the
bell!—.• liegendt 81 itter ,
The Milwaukee school books state the natural
elements of the earth to be earth, air, fire and
beer. —S in Francisco JSews letter.
I’okt—The new SI,OOO bills have a portrait of
Gen. Meade.
Friend—How in tlfc; world do you know that?
— Brooklyn. Life.
Customer— Seems to me that razor is rather
dull.
Barber— Mought be, sah. It was to a pahty
las nignt, sah. \ew York Weekly.
Mrs. Sapunoodle—What a beautiful vese! Of
course it is null ,ue?
Jeweler No; it s modern.
Mrs. Sappnoodie—Too bad. It is so pretty.
Jewelers' Weekly.
Dr. A. to Dr. B. — Nice trick you have played
mo during my vacation. Hero l turn nl over to
you a lot of patients I have had for years, and
you have cured them all up iu a month.—
Cour rier ties Kt’its- Unis.
Miss A nolo- Children in America do not ap
pear to pay the proper amount of resjiect to
age.
Miss Gotham—Aud I suppose that annoys
you very much. — Boston Transcript.
J a whins H6w's Ileaneck gerting on since
his marriage ? He used to vow that no woman
could ever get ahead of him.
Hagg- Oh. he's still in the lead. I suppose;
but she's beiimd—holding the reins.— Harper''s
Bazar.
Brown—^ You talk so much about the extor
tion of that summer hotel. I should think you
wouldn't have stood it. Why didn't you jump
the bill?
Jones— Thunderation, man. I'm not the
champion high-jumper of tne country.— Wash
in it on Star.
Dashaway (to Mrs. Slimdiet, the landlady)—
Madam, a short time ago one of my shoos dis
appeared. Now the other one is gone.
Mrs. Slimdiet—Why should you come to me?
Dashaway- I didn't know* but possibly you
going to have liver and bacon again
Clothier and, Furnisher.
Misa Blekks —Who was that man who bowed
as he passed by ?
Miss Ki cks—lt. was my brother.
Miss Blocks—^Why, I didn’t know you had a
brother"
Miss Kleeks—He only proposed to me last
week.— Minneapolis Journal.
“Myowhonr" pleaded the loner, “do not
keep me in misery. Tell me *men you will
marry me!’’
"I'll marry you/' replied the sweet girl,
“when the census is completed correctly.”
“tSuch indefinite postponement drives me to
despair”' exclaimed the rush mail, and he shot
himself dead.— The Epoch.
Thf.y were from Chicago and rich The
daughter was taking lessons in coyness and bo
cinl small talk.
“A penny for your thoughts/' she archly re
marked to an abstracted visitor, and then felt
from tbe look of horror that overspread her pa
rent's face sho must have been guilty of a false
step.
“Why didn't you offer him adollar?’* was that
lady's criticism after the visitor's departure.
“We've got money, and you rausn't be afraid to
let folks know it."— Philadelphia Times.
OURRSNT COM-dijiNr.
Rusrg-ed Eiustlc Repartee.
From the Jacksonville Tribune (Rep.).
The champion lie has made its appearance.
Tho Savannah Morning News gives currency
to a story of a uian who, it is alleged. made a
fortune without advertising. Impossible! The
News should be in better business.
An Indication of Reckless Desperation.
From the Chicago Mail (Ind.).
Cap*. Tumbleton of the Cn ted States cavalry
now on his way to New York from the froutie'r
reports that tile Indians are acting very strange
ly, and he predicts war He soys the redskins
among other antics, bathe daily in the Washita’
river. When Indiaus tare to bath ng. it cer
tainly is time to prepare for the worst.
It Was Another Party.
From the Chicago Tribune (Rev.).
A thin, nervous-looking man stepped up to
the paster as the latter eam> down from the
pulpit. “You have had a good deal to say this
morning,” be observed, about a feller that
killed a man named Abel ” “Certainly “ re
plied the pastor. “ The Sin of Cain' was the
subject of iny discon.se.” ”1 wish't you'd do
I a ■ the favor next Sunday," sal i the thin man
m some excitement, “io tell too folks that the
man you was talking about this m ruing ain't
no relation to the Kane that keeps a liverv
stable down by the grist mill I don't want none
<>l my friends to i hink that I ha l a hand iu that
killin'. That's all. Hood-day.”
For a disordered liver try Beecham’e
Bills.—Ado.
ICongrroß-min John Allan's Only Lie.
Tti is Private John Alien a latest cloak room
*ys the New York Sun:
"You snow that 1 never told but one lie in my
life," said the Miasisappinn. “That cured me.
It mi oacic in 1“B2. a day or two alter the sec
t>nd lat tie of Ilauassaa. I wo* & small, bare
footed soldier boy, about 16 years old, march
ing with Lee a army to war 1 MaryianJ My
feet became so sore from marching oeer the
rocks that I had to fall out of line and became
sepa atei from my command, and cons*
quentlr from all commissary stores on which
IcoaWdraw. The country had been so often
raided by both armies that it was difficult to
ifet anything to eat. I was very hungry, and
thought I should starve, when I suddenly
spied a house away from the road which
seemed to have been missed by the soldiers.
Ihe family was just sitting down to a good
dinner, and at my special request th*y Invited
J D - *o not r*rnemtier ever to ha ve eni >yed
a ,® ner much, and, rot kaowiag when I
would get anything more, I tried myaeff and ate
A big di'-mir. Ia fact. 1 took on about
thrve dayV rations. I left this b*us** anl had
about a half a mile when I sow some nice
looking ladies going toward a hospital with a
covered haskec. I was sure they had some
thing for tne *iek soldiers, and while 1 did not
feel that I could fat anything more then. I
thought I had liatter make some provisions for
tee future, and that I might get something to
take along in my haver*Ack I was smalt for
my age, and a rather hard-looking specimen.
iou would never have suppi*cd I would have
develo;>ed into the specimen of maniv beauty
you now see before you. I approached these
Kind-hearted La lies and. putting on my
hungriest and most pitiful look, said:
“ ‘La<!ies, can you tell me where a poor soldier
boy, who has not had a mouthful to eat for
three days, can get something to keep him
from starving.’
“You should have seen the look of sympathy
on their faces as they said: ‘We must not let
this poor boy starve,* and opening their bas
kets. In which they had two pitchers of gruel,
they began to feed me on gru 1 out of a spoon.
Now, when I was a child, they used to feed me
on gruel whr n I was sick, and I disliked it
above ail things eatable, but having told the
story about my hunger, I had to eat it. Well,
1 ne er was so punished for a story as 1 was
by having to cat that gruel on my dinner.
But I have often thought that maybe it was a
fortunate thing for m*. It broke tue from tell
ing stones. I have never told one since.”
Prevaricating for a Prize.
The idea of a national competition between
the mo6t eminent raconteurs of the county, says
the New York .Sun, is probably too difficult of
realization to waste much thought ou. Story
telling with nine men out of ten is the result of
a happy mood, stimulating company and other
people's stonea. But now and then one finds
men who can If they will tell good stories be
fore anil after breakfast, when suddenly waked
from refreshing slumber and even on the
mortal couch itself. The best known illustra
tion of the latter is Artemus Ward's asking a
friend, who said he would “do anything in the
world for him,” to take a potion intended to
prolong Ward's life a few minutes. Dr. Pepew,
who made a good speech before breakfast the
day got home from Europ*, is one of the
conspicuous American examples of the former.
Of are Senator Jones of Nevada and his friend,
Tom Ochiltree, who went to Europe the other
uay so quietly as to leave bis frienis here
and in Washington wondering what had become
of him.
A conspiracy to run Col. Tom up against
' Jim Scott of Detroit” had been formed the
day before he sailed for Europe. He knew
nothing of it, however, aud doesn't know even
by sight tne mau who is said to he the cham
pion raconteur of tue northwest. So it was
arranged to have Scott, freshly primed and with
a largo stock of anecdote, believed to be new in
New \ ork. chip Into the conversation in some
citfo where it was arranged that Ochiltree and
his friends were to bo silting. Nobody was to
appear to know him at first, but after he had
voluntarily related his very best story on-* of
the group was to jump up and say: “Why,
youumsthe Jim Sc >tt of Detroit,” and then
the match wag to b“gin. The Detroiter is a
heavyweight physically, aud “deals in dirt,” as
they say of the real estate business out West.
He we irs a white tie, which is, however, his
only clerical characteristic.
Lightening H?s Labors.
“Darling.” murmured the wife of the young
editor. “Don't these literary cares sometimes
seem like a heavy burden?”
“They do, Carrie,'’ he said with a heavy sigh.
“The load seems at times too great for me to
bear,” sobs the young man or the Pittsburg
Dinxitrh. “But the work must t.e done.”
“Is there no way, UJc ard,” she said caress
ingly, “by which you might be relieved of a
portion of this severe mental labor and worry.”
*'l know of none. I cannot afford to hire any
help in this department, and if I couiu I do not
know of any one whom I consider fully compe
tent?”
‘*lt has not occurred to you, I dare say, Rich
ard, that 1 might relieve you of much of the
work myself?”
“You. Carrie? Soil your pretty fingers with
ink stains and furrow that lovely brow with
literary cares? No, n*)!"
“Do not shut me out from your cares and sor
rows, Richard. lam sure I could lighten your
burdens if you would give me a chance. I was
one of the best essayists in my class at school,
and I have always thought I would succeed in
literature if I had the opportunity.”
“Carrie,” said the young husband, his voice
trembling with feeling, “1 appreciate the ten
der devotion that moves you to make this offer.
You might, it is true, do much to help me, dar
ling With your aid and your geuerous sym
pathy’ there is much of the drudgery of my edi
torial life that would become easy’.
“And I will do just whatever you want me to,
Richard,” exclaimed the delighted young wife.
“Then, Carrie,” he said, wiping away a tear
of joy, “look over tbi \ half bushel of poetry
that's going in next week and see if there are
any beastly dad dinged acrostics among them.”
A Close Shave.
The newest “game” which thirsty sinners
play upon a confiding police department and
an innocent public, says the New York World,
is most successful along Sixth avenue, where
the open al!-day-Suuday barbershops abound.
The number of New Yorkers and their guests
who find it desirable to have their faces smooth
of a Sabbatli afternoon is surprisingly large,
considering that the operation costs a quarter
after 12 o'clock. A priest, two strangers in
the city who are staying at the Hoffman, a
gambler and a tough wore waiting their turn
last Sunday afternoon about 4 o'clock in the
shop, two doors below Twenty-ninth street.
There were only two barbers at work, and
with five men ahead, the prospect
fora new-comer to get scraped was auything
but br.lliant. Yet man after man came in.
hung up his coat and hat, and, slidging down to
the rear of the shop, where the bootblack’s
chair is, gave him a wink. The bootblack im
mediately gave a signal at a door just across a
little hallway from the side door of the barber
shop, and mau after man, in his shirt sleeves,
filed into the saloon, which a view from the
corner of Twenty-ninth street and Sixth avenue
showed to be shut tight, gratified his thirst,
came back into the barber shop, put on his hat
and coat and sped away, There was no pre
tense of ashava about it. The bootblack seemed
to spend a good deal of his time in the saloon,
and when asked for his services by a customer
the boas barber unhesitatingly answered: “O
he’s in de saloon, next door!"
No Sour Orapes Here.
Nauvoo (111.) people are enjoying a pretty bit
of romance, says the St. Louis Republic. A
young man and woman of that place were en
gaged to be married some time ago, but they
quarreled and separated. The young man left
tue city for parts unknown. The young woman
has. with hundreds of other girls, been engaged
this fall in picking grapes, which have been
sent by the ton to all parts of toe country
The grapes are placed in neat littl j baskets
V hile preparing one of these baskets for ship
ment the girl wrote on the basket:
‘ Fred, come back to me; I love you.
“Flora."
In a week or ten days she was rejoiced to re
ceive a letter from her lover, who is engaged in
business in North Dakota. He had purchase!
the basket and read the message of his loved
oue. It is said the marriage will soon take
place. ______
Why Noah Went Yachting.
Edwin Forrest told 9 story connected with
his trip to California. He was deathly seasick,
says the Boston Post, and yet it did not pre"
vent him swearing. A preacher who was on
board undertook to admonish him for his pro
: anity. Forest answered dryly that his Lord and
Master when at sea, was devilish glad to get
out and walk. Tne ca tain of the vessel ap
proaclie 1 them and sought to sooth the old
man hy remarking that he loved the -ea; that
he weut to sea as a matter of choice, and would
not live on shore.
’’Tliat’s ad and lie sir," said Forr st; I know
of but one mnn who took to the sea from choice
for if he bad remained on shore he would have
been drowned—and that was Noah.”
Horsford’a Acid Phosphate
A brain and nerve food, for lecturers
teachers, students, clergymen, lawyers, and
brain-workers generally.— A dv.
ITEMS OF INTEREST.
A 50-oent pi ec* was generously tendered a
Boston boatman who had rescued four men
from drowning. He ha s ? had this legend en
} graved upon the coin. “Howard of Mem—For
i Re.tcuicg Four Men from Drowning, ICents
a Pieoe.”
M int of the Laves of real estate in Bath,
; England, are arranged to cease on the death of
’ the Prince of Wale- . The lease holders, there
fore. view with alarm any illness of the prince.
The life of Queen Victoria is also identified with
several leases m various parts of England.
A Neosho. Kan.) cocnty farmer sent this
mixed order to a Chanute merchant: “Send me
a sack of flour, five pounds of cofe sod one
pound of t*a. My wife gave birth to a big baby
boy last night, also five pounds of corn starch, a
screwdriver anl a flytrap. It weighed ten
pounds and a straw haL”
lit some wards, for infections diseases, in
European hospitals, telephones have oeen placed
to enable the patients to converse with their
friends, w.ien closer communication would he
inadvisable. The cheering effect of conversa
tion has been not.eed in the speedy coava’es
cence of most of the patients.
In Enoland aad other parts of Europe, hors**-
shoes are now in use. made of cowhide instead
of iron. The shoe is composed of thro© thick
nesses of the hide, which is pressed into a steel
mold ami afterward treated by a chemical
preparation. The s ion is quite smooth on the
outside surface, no calks being a**© ©d, as the
shoe adheres firmly on pavements. It
is claimed this shoe is muen lighter than the
iron one. lasts longer, an l that the hoofs of
horses wearing them never split.
The Siamese method of computing time was
before April 1, 1880, based on a lunar reckoning,
each day being referred to as such a day of the
waxing, or such a day of the waning, moon,
and each year being one of a cycle of twelve
years (derive l from the Chinese), each of which
bore the name of one of the constellations of
the zodiac. According to this system it was
most difficult and tedious to calculate the cor
responding European date. Assistant Consul
Beckett says the Siamese year, as now reck
oned, contains twelve months, like the European
year, with corresponding leap years and num
ber of days in each month, the only difference
b iag that the Maniese year commences on
April 1. Each month is now called after one
of the constellations in the Coperuican system.
Some religious journals are printing a para
graph to the effret that the late Prof. Hitch
cock of t iis city held that tobacco was known
to the at.cients, and that its name was derived
from Bacchus, the go t of wine, says the New
York Tribune. The weed was offered to Bac
chus as a votive offering, an 1 as the dative case
of Bacchus in Greek is ‘To Baecho,” the nar
cotic gradually got that name. Of course, any
scholar will at once see that Dr. Hitchcock was
too good a Grecian to have fathered such an
absurd etymology. Asa matter of fact, the
late President Hitchcock of Amherst made
the suggestion in questiou as a bit of pleasantry
in a humorous nook which he once published.
The aucients didn't have the good for —, we
mean, of course, the ancients didn't indulge in
the vice of using tobacco, though they probably
w ould if they bad known about it. For the an
cients were rare old boys in their time, and
w ere up to all the mischief that was going.
The woman with a mail in public, says the
New York Nun, seems to feel that she is some
what out of gear with the republican simplicity
and general uupretentions character of society
in New York. Apparent!v she is perpetually
asking herself: ”\\ha‘ shill Ido with it?” and
the ir.aie on her part s *eius equally ill at, ease.
In England and on tne c ntin n the lady goes
in a first-class carrhi’n nnd the maid steps
naturally in the plaeo that >as been assigned
for her in the thiru-claMtt compartment In tue
stages the mistress seats herself inside w hile the
maid sits on the roof with the other maids, aad
in the restaurants, dry doods shops, aud else
where there or • always places and provisions
for stowing away ladies’ maids until t ey a e
needed. But a lady's maid taken about pub
licly in this town is about as awkward as a ma t
servant. They do cot seem to fit into the social
structure anywhere. This is not because Ameri
can women are unaocustoinoil to the possession
of maid servants by any means. In the south
ever}’ young woman of any importance has sq
old or young personal servant, and it is remarK
able to mark the affection which many ladies
lavish on these attendants. They pat their
hands, link arms w ith them and mak * all sorts
of confidential disclosures. The maids, having
been associated with their mistresses all their
lives, are usually models of fidelity.
A TRAVELING CORRESPONDENT of the VielO
mosti of Moscow gives a lengthy and highly
interesting description of the Baltic provinces
of Russia, and shows by various Illustrations
how’ the people.all along the sea coast submit to
the Russianizing process with great difficulty.
In Mtau, he says, you cannot find a coach
driver, a hotel waiter, or even a policema i who
speaks Russian. All sign boards aud posters in
tne streets are in German. At the hotel in
which he stopped he was entered in the books
as a “foreigner.” In Riga the animosity against
ail that is Russian becomes clearly apparent,
though there Is a 6troug Russian element there.
The police is Russian and attends to its duties
in a most exemplary manner; the courts and
municipal officers, although compelled by law
to write all official documents iu Russian, u.-e
the German language with marked preference.
In business circles German is used ;dmost ex
clusively About three years a?o a law wad
enacted that the inscriptions on their sign
boards and posters should he in Russian. The
people comply with thi* law because t?iey can
not help themselves, but, as if to spite it,
there is not a single inscription in correct and
grammatical Russian. If you want to understand
what these inscriptions mean, you must read
them in the tier man translation. The only
province iu which the people yield to the Rus
sianizing influence is that of Keval. There the
Russian traveler feels that he is in his native
land. He understands what the people say to
him and can make timself understood by tnem.
But even there tne people among thomselvea
have a decided predilection for the German lan
guage ami usages.
An English paper says: “Usually we look to
America for the biggest things on earth, but,
strange to say, although the Americans are the
most extensive users of e ectricity, the most
powerful artificial light in existence is the
property of the English g vermnent, and it is
11 be found in the Isle of Wight. The lamp re
ferred to is that of ti:e lighthouse of |St. Cathe
rine’s Point, where there is also a powerful fog
horn. The plant bos three engines of Si-horse
power each. Two of these are used for working
the dynimos, and the other for the fog horn.
The current is conducted by wires across a road
direct from the dynamos to the lamps, there
being no accumulators. The light is obtained
from a carbon lamp of special pattern. The
ordinary light is equal to 3,000,000 candles,
but a light of 6.000.000 candle power can bo
and has been obtained. It is impossible for any
one who has not seen it to imagine the wonderful
brilliancy of the light, hut some idea may be
formed from the fact that it can be distinctly
seen forty-five miles away, and that at the
Needles, fourteen miles distant, it is quite easv
to read very fine print by means of toe reflec
tion. On one side of the lamp room is a
quantity of very thick glass for repairing the
windows broken, not by storms so much as by
wild ducks and sea birds whioh are attracted by
the light. A singular feature of the lighthouse
tower is a plummet and line hanging from the
ceiling of a lower caambr r, the plummet point
ing to a spot on the floor. This is for th pur
pose of enabling the man in charge to tell when
the tower is out of the perpendicular. This
lighthouse was built on an under cliff, formed
by the gigantic landsliD which occurred in 1799
and some portions of this cliff are still slipping.
The college of Braseuose, in Oxford, has just
recovered a relic of the highest interest, savs
the New York Post. This is no less than the
original brazen nose—tl e palladium of the col
lege one might almost call it—from which, most
likely, the name of the college is derived. It is
a bronze knocker, in the stupe of a lion's mask
carrying iu its mouth an iron ring, and may’
perha; s, date from the twelfth century. \t
any rate, it has been absent from Oxford for
600 years or more In the year 1331 there was
a groat exodus of Oxford scholars and a migra
tion to Stamford, in Yorkshire. The students
of Brasenose hall, as it was then called de
parted in a body and took tue tut lary knocker
with them. When anew Brasenose was built
in Stamford the knocker was fixed on its gate
and has remained there through all the
chances and changes of five centuries Pos
sibly, as a writer iu the London Guardian
suggests, it came to be looked upon with sort
of superstiti us veneration, wbi.-b, as he says,
has saved it from "theft and chance and time
and corporations." This la-t word is to the ad
dress of the corporation of Stamford into
whose bands the second Bravencse fell, and who
ruthlessly tore it down in IGSK. Tuey spared
however, the ancient gateway, and the knocker
remained also, even after the Stamford author
ities sold the proper, y, and has passed from one
own r to another as a sort of heirloom of the
estate. The late owner declined to sell it ex
cept with the estate itself, aud Brasenose col
lege has just bought the entire property and re
covered its ancient emblem. That it will be
pnt, back in its old place again and stay there
for half a dozen centuries more one may not
rashly predict. To put it back might expose
some young gentleman to temptation of a kind
which undergraduate virtue resists with dlfit
cuity.
Van Hoi tkn’s Cocoa—“ Best aud goes
farthest.”— Ado.
autumnal advice.
Keep your feet warm and dry.
Wear waterproof boots in preference to are
tics or rubbers.
Keep your eye on your umbrella, you will
need it yourself.
Stop a cough or a cold at once. Pneumonia
and consumption may be started by either
If you wear rubbers take them off whenever
you have the chance, even if oniy for a few min
utes.
If you feel a cough or a cold coming on tas#
a drink of pure whiskey at once. It will keep
the blood in circulation and is the best prevent
ive against the diseases of the season.
Remember that only pure whiskey should he
taken. Duffy’s Pure Malt Whiskey has the
strongest recommendations from the leading
scientists snd medical men in the country and
Is the only standard medicinal whiskey known.
Insist on having it.
MKWCAI, 5=55
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mm
Sick Headache and relieve all the troubles inci
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stimulate the liver and regulate the bowels,’
Even if they only cured
Ache they would be almost priceless to there
who suffer from this distressing complaint
hut fortunately their goodness does not end
here, and those w ho once try them will And
these little pills valuable in so many wavs that
they will not be willing to do without them.
But after all sick bead
ACHE
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we make our great boast. Our mils cure it
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Carter’s Little Liver Pills are very small
and very easy to take. One or two pills make
a dose. They are strictly vegetable and do
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please all who use them. In vials at 85 cents;
five for SI Sold everywhere, or sent by mail.
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ffl. ssil ht, kill iii:;,
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Our fainphlet for sufferers of nervottl
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This remedy hag been prepare. 1 by the He
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A K MORNING NEWS one
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* W draas with 23 cents to
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