Below is the OCR text representation for this newspapers page.

A oft!) PUBLISHED EVERY THURSDAY- —AT- BELLTON, GrA.. By JOHN SLATS. Terms SI.OU per annum ; 50 cents for six tn«mths; 25 cents for three months. ♦ * art ’ efi ; awa y from Bellton are requested to send their names, with snch amounts of money as they can spare, from 2cc. to sl. The largest block of granite ever quarried in New England has been taken out at Woodbury, Vt. It was 230 feet long, thirteen to eighteen feet deep, fif teen feet wide, weighed 4,080 tons, and required 673 wedges with fifty pound, of powder to start it. g'l - J ■■■■ Deadwood is booming. About two months ago it was in ashes; now it is livelier than ever. That is, of course, buta repetitionof the experience of every burnt-out American city, and is another example of the innate energy of western life. The town is rebuilt with large brick and frame structures vastly supe rior to the original ones. All the mer chants are in business again, many firms having over SIOO,OOO worth of goods in stock. Mechanics* wages, which were $8 a day, have now dropped to half that figure, and last but not least Deadwood has 713 gamblers busily plying their vo cation. Mho says Deadwood is not the future great ? Nevada feels the shortened production of silver, and the consequent absence of speculative tramps makes the capital city dull beyond conception. The two bonanzas are alx>ut played out. Their three millions a month is reduced to about a tenth. Nevada produced alto together fifty-six millions in 1877, and thirty-five millions in in 1878. In 1879, we estimate twenty-two millions. A vast amount of money is being expended in exploring since the Sutro tunnel gives the mines easy drainage, and from ap pearances, some rich ore bodies lately dis covered may develop into veritable bo nanzas and restore Nevada to its former standing. Nine-tenths of all mining charters in California and Nevada value their property at millions, in shares of SIOO, and new ones are being issued even now. Nine-tenths are “wild-cats” of no actual value, and a clean sweep will be made of them. It is announced that a new steamship line is to be started which cannot fail to be of great advantage to the south and probably to the northwest. It is the .Mississippi Valley and Brazil Steamship Line. The St. Paul Press is enthusias tic about the project, and it interviewed ex-Governor Washburn on the matter. The governor thinks that an immense trade can lie worked up between Brazil and the southern and western states. He considers the obstacles at the mouth of the Mississippi as practically overcome, and he looks on the new line as a splen did scheme. “At present,” continues the governor, ‘‘our communication with Brazil is by British steamers and via Liverpo<>]. 'Die result is that we have little trade with that country, while if we hud direct communication it would furnish a splendid market for flour and other products, and give us in return coffee,” etc. SOUTHERN NEWS ITEMS. The Tex ts state treasury hasabalance of $300,000. Four hundred Mormons have left Georgia and Alabama this year. The total indebtedness of the state of South Carolina is $7,175,454 91. Rome, Ga., manufacture I over 5,000,- 000 brick this year. Norfolk, Va., did an export business of $10,0f8),000 last year. Jacksonville, Fla., uses four thousand barrels of kerosene jut year. Texas is larger than either the Ger man Empire or the Austrian Empire. Four thousand people rode on the street cars at Little Rock. Ark., on cir cus day. A ten-thousand-dollar greenback was paid into the Alabama state treasury Monday. There is a revival among the Wine breenatians, or “ feet-washers,” at Bel laire W. Va. Montgomery and Mobile, Ala., two hundred miles apart, are connected by telephone. Fast mail trains are now run over the Atlantic Coast Line and the South Caro lina railroad. An industrious young lady in Ander son, S. C., has made a handkerchief valued at $25. They say that all that keeps the Au gusta, Ga.. canal from being a success is too much water. The first store in Grenada, Miss., was built in 1833 by Col. N. Howard, who still resides there. The colored people own 18,000 acres ' of land in Halifax county, N. C.. and 8,000 in Warren. \ contract for building a railroad which will connect Pensacola, Fla., and Selma, Ala., has lieen let. • Constitution : The number of board- i ing-houses in Atlanta has never been as- , certained. Living is cheaper here than in any city of Georgia. Patrick McDonald, not three years 1 ,1. send- the Charleston News $1.30 I ...llected by him at Lynchburg, S. (' . for th< lb od orphan». The North Georgian. VOL. IL Tom Dav was stabbed to death at Knoxville renn., Sunday,by nis nephew. Ed. Day. a mere 'ad of seventeen years. The lad is in the lock-up. A force is now busily engaged in con structing a telegraph line along the She nandoah Valley railroad, between Shep herdstown, W. V., and Front Roval, Va. The South Carolina legislature is con sidering a bill to prohibit the running of freight trains and to regulate the . tin ning of mail ami passenger trains on Sun day. East Tennessee marble is to be used in the construction of the proposer mon ument to the memory of the late Gen. Robert E. Lee in the city of New Or leans. Sunday two members of the Christian church at Little Rock. Ark., each pre sented a title to 160 acres of land, as the beginning of a fund to build a church edifice. Jackson, Miss., is building a new opera house, capable of seating 900 peo ple, and it is said that when completed it will be one of the prettiest theatres in the south. , Twenty-two young men will apply for admission into the North Carolina Con ference, M. E. Church, at its n°xt session. This conference already embraces 170 members. Memphis Ledger : < lold eagles and dou bles were freely paid out by those who had debts to settle to-day. The yellow medal will soon become a drug in the market. Laborers from Pennsylvania have be n coming to Georgia lately. (Juite a num ber of them are employed at the timber mills of the Georgia Latpl and Lumber company. There are two colored centenarians in Spalding county, Ga. One aged 103 and the other 108, and both are women. Thirty million cigars were made in Wheeling, AV. A 7 ., last year, and the number will be largely increased this year. An eel six fegt long got into the wheel of a water-mill at Goldville, Alabama, and was sufficiently large to stop the wheel. The Little Rock Democrat says that at no time since the war have the negroes of Arkansas had so much money as at present. Lynchburg ( Va.) News: The .Mid land railroad has a contract to ship 5,000 car-loads of iron ore to Pittsburgh. 'The ore is lobe furnished fron Rivesville, on the canal, below the city. A Mr. Stoddart, at Pensacola, Fla., has an orchard of 3,500 fig trees, many of which were imported from Europe, Asia and Africa. Almost every known variety is represented in this orchard. A negro named Reach escaped from jail in Robeson county, N. G.. last week, and a deputy sheritl named I'ole, while trying to arrest him, wes shot and in stantly killed. I,each is still at large. Some burglars at Charlotte. N. ('., on tered a store on Tuesday night by boring a few holes around the two locks on a door, filling the hides with kerosene and burning the door until the licks dropped off'. The Avalanche says that there seems no doubt that a sewer system, to cost not over $225,000, and perfornf all the nec essaryservice will be agreed on for -Mem phis. It is within the city’s financial SCOJK-. It is thought that special session of the Tennessee legislature will lx.- called soon to pass an act enabling the taxing dis trict of Memphis to levy a tax for im proving the sanitary condition of Mem phis. Brookhaven Ledger: There talk of changing the gauge of the Chica go, St. Louis and New Orleans railroad to four feet eight and a half inches, to make it conform to the standard of northern roads. David K. Adamson carries the mail on foot between Ridgway and Leakville, Va., a distance of twelve miles. He has not failed to make a trip for several years, and receives twenty-five cents for each round trip. The Arkwright Cotton Factory, at Savannah, Ga., which has been closed for some time, is likely to be purchased by A. Campladl, a capitalist and large manufacturer of Philadelphia, who will resume work at once. The school children of Georgia pro pose to contribute enough money to erect a monument over the grave of the late Prof. Bernard Mallon, of Atlanta. The suggestion is credited to .Miss Laura A. Haywood, of that city. A large steam ginning and milling es tablishment at Mikesville, Fla., was burned on the night of the 21st inst., to gether with 30,000 pounds of seed cotton. The fire is believed to have l»cen the work of an incendiary. Wilmington (N. C.) Star: The house of one Jacob Keaton, colored, on French’s plantation, at Rocky Point, Pender county, was accidentally de stroyed by fire on Monday last and his fiiur children perished in the flames. The South Carolina public school l were attended during the last school year by 122,663 pupils, of whom 58,368 were white and 64,095 were colored. This is the largest attendance the schools in that state have ever had in one year, prevent it, and the novelty of the bus . mess is sufficient to make it jiopular. I De Soto ( Miss.) Times: When our darkies go to Kansas, a d other north , ern states, breadstuff* will be cheap, cot- j ton go up to twenty cents per pound, | I stock raising will be a paying business ■ in this section, and treating negroc- for ’ ' their votes will then be played out. BELLTON. BANKS COUNTY, GA., DECEMBER 18. 1879. t THE COLLEGE WIBOW. What, been tn the city all summer, Anu grinding away on your Greek? Well, well! You’ll excuse me, old fellow But really, you are petting weak I Conditioned! What of it? I’m always Conditioned—a regular stack; But I work them off somehow or other. And keep myself straight with the sac. Why, of course, Tom, you ought to have cut ft, And gone off with me and St. Clair; No end of nice girls and salt water, ,- And lots of our fellows down there. Anv snab? Well, you’d think so to see them! Every girl was a regular belle; All the tone of New Haven and Boston, And other ones equally swell. | But one of them, Tom, was a stunner; She brought down her game on the wing, For in less than six hours, by Jingo, She had every man on a string! Pretty? Rather! Her teeth wers liko pearls, sir Peeping out between coral ine bars; And her eyes, when she smiled on a fellow, Just twinkled like midnight cigars. Such is life; here, I’ll show you the locket She gave me at parting; and Will Has a bangle of her’s in his pocket, i We keep them for memorabil. As for me, though, I wasn’t enraptured, In spite of the rose tint and pearl, For somehow I’m never contented With only a tenth of a girl. And she’s not very young, let me tell you - Ten years since they shipped her from school, And I don’t think she’ll ever jjot married, She can’t find a big enough fool. Her name? Miss Van Arsdol, of Brooklyn, You met her, you say, in July. You’”o engaged to her, Tom? Oh, the dickens! Beg par , I—well, hang it good-bye! —Acta Constitution. A STRANGE STORY. [An Extract from Anna Dickinson's “Ragged Reglstei.**? Did I tell them of queer people and •trunge experiences? Yes, indeed, did I. Can I recall them now? No—yes. One I remember, because it was the most inexplicable affair that ever befell me—no, did not befall—but that has ever some tome “second-hand, almost as good as new.” I found myself one day at a certain town with no “connection” till six o’clock in the afternoon—a train that might make sixteen miles an hour, with ninety-six miles to get over. Due on the platform at 7:80 o’clock That wouldn’t do. So, of course, I had to have a “ special.” Place and time—Central lowa, some time ago. Country just a flat plain, not the rolling prairie land lying further west; no towns, few villages, fenceless, treeless; a speck of anything easily seen afar had any speck existed. Even the ties were without incident. One after another, one after another, all alike—same length, striking family re semblance, lying on the even ground without. mneh ns p. ditch r.t the side to break the monotony. Nothing of interest without, so I turned my eyes to inspect what might be found within. They are generally wide open when they are to look at ma chines or machinists. I have traveled behind engines and on them by hundreds, and have walked about and questioned and gazed and ex amined them thoroughly, but always with fresh wonder and admiration. Strong as Titans; simple, complicated; helpful, merciless; beautiful yet terri ble. And J never look at them without wondering what manner of world this will be when some one learns how to utilize, not one hundred, or fifty, but even fifteen per cent, of steam. As to their manipulators, fools do not abound among them. A man needs brains and logic to be a good machinist. I like to watch a first-class one listen to an argument on a subject with which he may be ever so unfamiliar. He sees flaws, and shows where the screws are loose, and the sequence i.s broken, and the point overlooked or bung]ingly made better, half the time, than the combatr ants, though they be no mean ones. If a man knows a machine, he knows how to argue from cause to effect, step by step of the way, and isn’t easily “bamboozled,' 1 and there’s precious lit tle “nonsense” about him. My engineer was one of the right sort. A clear-eyed, intelligent, wide-awake young fellow from New England—the last man in the world you would suspect of drink or either superstitious flim flams. He was explaining to me some of the mechanism, when, with his right hand on the lever, he suddenly paused, threw himself half out of the little window, gazed a moment up the track, then, turning his head, with his left hand thrust up before it as though shutting out some awful vision, drove on. There was no mistaking the attitude nd its meaning. “You have run over some one here,” said I. “Yes—no—l don’t know,” he an swered. His firemen seemed to notice neither I action nor answer. I gazed at both with i amazement akin to horror. “Am I rush ing through space forty miles an hour in the keeping of madmen?” thought 11. “Let us see.” “You don’t know?” “I don’t wonder you look,” said he, “and ask, too. Will you kindly oblige me by telling me if you saw anything off to the right?” “Nothing,” said I, “but open plain.” “Nor ahead of us?” “Nothing but level track.” “Nor behind us? Did you look?” “Yes, 1 looked back. There was noth ing but track and plain.” “I knew it,” said he; “knew it just as well before I asked as afterwards, but couldn’t help asking. Don’t you think that’s queer?” . “I think you are troubled. That is more to the purpose. Do you mind my asking what has troubled you?” “Do I mind? Didn’t I want to tell you, and see what you can make out of it?” and he drew his hand over his fore head and across his clear eyes as though it were a nightmare that threatened to unmake him. “It beats me.” TRUTH, JU s TIC E, /.Hi ER T 1 “I woulcn’t letit,” smilingly, to cheer his distressed face. “You are too broad shouldered to stand that sort of treat ment from anything,” at which he laughed » little and the fireman re marked encouragingly: “You just pitch in, Ned;” rnd Ned pitched in. “As for tie story—it isn’t much of a story, you’l say—but—well! You seel was comin; down the road the other day —a good iwo weeks ago—a road I’ve been over hundreds of times, and knew every foot if it. I saw off’ there, at the ight, instead of that pancake region, tegular hi! country, wild and green looking, pbnty of trees, anil among them, on Gp of a sort of ridge, there was a shambliig tavern painted red. “It was growing dusky, and I could see lights in the tavern, and hear loud voices laujhing and rowing. Directly a fallow came plunging out of the door with his lat off, a flannel shirt unbut toned at he throat, and one sleeve loose and hanging, holding a whisky bottle. He reeled down the hill, stumbled and stumbled, struck his foot against a log near the.bottom, and pitched forward into the ditch half way across the track. “I saw what was coming and had whistled down brakes and reversed the engine. The man could have got on his feet easy enough if it hadn’tbeen forhis cursed whisky bottle; but he grabbed it and held it up so as to save it, and couldn’t get his balance, of course, with out both hands, and so pitched forward again, and this time flat across the raila, and we went over him. “It was all done in a minute, you see, and the train stopped, and I starting at Jim here, and he at me.” “What did you do that for?” said Jim, “jerking her up like that for nothing.” “My God! man, run over a human creature, and mash the breath out of him, and ask what I stopped the train for?” “Run over a mnnl” cried Jim. “ Ara you crazy or drunk?” But I didn’t wait to answer. I streaked up the track to whore the conductor was out, and the brakemen and passengers all had their heads outof the windows, and everybody wanted to know what was the matter, and there—well! you know just as well as I, there was the open country and the track as flat as my hand, and nothing else near or far to be seen. “Drunk! No, I wasn’t drunk. I don’t drink—ever. And it happened just so?” turning to Jim. “Just exactly so,” answered the sooty fireman. “Yes, pist exactly so,” echoed the en gineer, “and just exactly so I’ve seen it •very —s.:,d done it regularly since ilien. Zina 1 . ■ 'i stand li much*longer. I’ve got to quit. Look at that!” holding up his strong hand that was shaking in • way that didn’t belong to its muscle, nor to the clear blue eyes that had no drink nor craze in them. “Maybe I can make a change with a friend of mine who wants to come West. Anyway, I’m going to get out of here, lively.” J sat and pondered. “Do you believe me?” said he. “Believe you? Os course I do. I’m not a fool. I know when a man has truth in his face, and you’ve got truth in your-voice, too. for that matter.” He smiled, and thrust out his grimy fist. “I’d like to shake hands with you for that—if you don’t care.” “But I do care,” said I, smiling in turn. So we shook hands. “Can’t you explain it?” "No—no more than I can tell you how a flower grows.” We reached our destination and each went his or her way, and so far as I knew there was an end of mystery and explanation. Five years afterward I was at New Brunswick, aiming for the ten o’clock train to Philadelphia. “Drawing-room car,” called I, as I ran down the long, dark platform. “Drawing-room car this way!” wai shouted from the rear blackness. “Ah, is it you, Miss Dickinson! Plenty 0* room to-night,” and I scram bled in About every official and employe on the road knows me. So I turned to see with which conductor I was going, but did not recognize him. “You don’t know me?” “No,” said I, yet I found something familiar in face or voice. “You are a new man.” “Yes,” he answered. “Let me see! let me see!” thought Ii 1 don’t like to be thwarted. 1 alway. remember people’s faces, and always for get their names. I could forget my own “Who is he? When—where did l ever travel with him?” “You were not a conductor when I saw you before. I am sure of that,” I ventured. He laughed at my puzzled face and answered, “You’re right there.” All at once 1 placed him. “Ah!” cried I, “how’s the ghost?” The man had a fine ruddy color, but he turned pale at that—pale as this pa per. “Why, you don’t mean that anything did reaily ever come of it?” “Yes, but I do.” “What?” “Well, I’ll tell you all in a breath— that’s the best way, and I don’t like talking about it. You know I wanted to get away? Yes. Well, I got my transfer, came to the Philidelphia and Erie road, and my friend went West. “Maybe I didn’t draw a long breath as I got under way that first day, and thought I’d left my bugaboo so far be hind'me. Everything about me was so different from what I had quitted, it made me feel like a new man. You Know t io country the Philadelphia and Erie runs through?” “I know it. Beautiful, fresh and hilly, and full of streams, with a rough look ing road and curving track.” “Just so,” he assented, “and 1 went along it cheerful as a cricket, looking at everything and full of interest until to wards nightfall—and then—well! I shut my eyes and drove ahead. What else could Ido? But my fireman was drag ging at the rope like mad and rousing me, and the engine was jarring aud jolting, and presently stopped.* “ ‘What did you do that for?’ said L “ ‘My God, man,’ cried hc,',‘run over a human creature and mash the breath out of him, and then ask what I stopped the train for—are you drunk or crazy?* and he plunged off and I after him. “1 didn’t expect to see anything, but at the right, you see, as the train ran— there was a bit of a hill, and a sham bling old red tavern, with some lights shining on top of it, and a lot of people with the conductor and passengers gath ered about something on the road, and as 1 came up—there was a man with his hat off, aud open shirt, and the whisky bottle in his hand, across the track— dead.” A New Alpine Danger. [CliKrlcs Riirt in London Times.] On the l'3th of September three ladies and two young gentlemen obtained at the Hotel I’ilatus, at Alpnacht, a horse and guide, and reached the. summit of the mountain after six hours’ hard walk ing. They rested and refreshed them selves at the hotel on the mountain, anil started on the downward journey. Be fore leaving the top the guide asked ono of the gentleman for some cognac, which was refused. It soon appeared that tho guide was intoxicated and worse than useless. He led the horse on which one of the young ladies was riding, and so alarmed her by dragging the animal to the edge of the path that she got off and continued to descend on foot. Once the man would, in the sight of the party, have sent one horse down a precipice, but the poor beast realized tho danger, and set his feet Steadfastly against going further in that direction. It was now getting dark, and to be left to the mercy of a drunken guide half way down a steep and rugged mountain path was trying enough: but, to mako the matter worse, the man appeared de termined to go into danger. The ladies anil gentlemen therefore, hastened on and left the guide and horse to follow. After much trouble in finding and keep ing to tho path in the darkness, tin y ultimately got safe to Alpnacht, and told their story. The guide did not come in. The next morning search was .’made for the guide and liorse, and both were found dead on the mountain side, having evidently fallen from the path about- filly feet, above. The hotel peo ple tried to keep the affntr from becom ing public, and the guide was buried next day without an inquest of any kind; but, having still an eye to business, tho worthy host cooly demanded an in demnity for the loss of the horse from the persons who had so nearly become the victims of the guide he had supplied to them. As yet the claim has not been paid. 1 could npt ascertain the guide’s name. The Blue Haze of Indian Snninier. Mr. Joel Benton has recently published an elaborate essay, combating the popular notion, which also has a quasi-scicntific support, that tho blue haze of Indian Bummer is the product of ordinary smoke from fires. He argues first that the well-known behavior of smoke is not con sistent. with tho various phenomena of the blue haze. After describing this, he says, “ If It [smoke] ever seems to wilt or attenuate m some secluded valley, it is never still; it does not even approxi mate quietude sufficiently to cheat the eye; it is not a part of the air, but rather a passenger upon it, and subject to every breeze that blows or summer zephyr that dallies by. I have watched tho attitude of a good many heavy volumes of smoke, and I have never yet seen one that stimulates in any of its wrigglings and active transformations, or in its complete repose, that unique enchantment which is wrought by the Indian-summer haze.” If this haze is the product of sinoke from fire, “ there should be,” he says, “an alarming number of them in the fall of the year.” But neither tho an nual fire statistics nor tho newspaper reports show this. Mr. Benton says the heaviest autumn fires occur at the end of the hazy season, which would make the haze precede the fires, anil cease after the usual mountain fires have be gun, which consecutive facts ho has noticed. Besides, all the woods of the Hudson River counties, if they should be on fire at once, would—if smoke could cause the haze—make no appreciable part of it; and the simultaneous appear ance of it over a whole continent makes it impossible to be caused by smoko from any fires that were ever known. It reaches from the Arctic Circle to the Torrid Zone. Its occurrence in the northernmost region, if it is caused by smoke, could not happen there except through “a conflagration of icebergs.’ The Zulu Female Reserve. Has any paper recorded the fact that at Kamb’ula the Zulus brought up’ a large body of women and stationed them in the distance to represent a strong re serve? I suspect that it was by strate gical dodges of this nature —dodges by which Lord Chelmsford was mere that! once outwitted—that the number of Zulu warriors was so widely exaggerated. We were told that Cetywayo had twenty thousand fighting men before Uluniii. Not one. thousand were killed there, but where now are the nineteen thousand? “Is Mike doin’ well in the new coun thry?” asked Mike’s father of a friend who had just returned to old Erin from America. “ Doin’well, is it?” replied Mike’s friend. “Shure an’ye may well say so. Ye’ll niver find Mike without a quart av the best twenty-five cent whiskey in the house.” Xoftl) G^eofgiai], Published Every Thursday at BELLTON. GEORGIA. RATEfi OR SUBSCRIPTION. One year (52 numbers), $1,00; six months (?6 numbers), 50 cents; three months (13 numbers), 25 cents. OJ’Ce in the Smith building, east of the depot NO. 51. TIEF. OLD STORY CONTIXUEIL She read until she could not ees— Did “Ivanhoe” e’er weary? Then dropped the l>ook upon her kn<? And said her life wudreary. “From day to day I still must tread The same dull round of duty— Os damiug socks and baking bread. Without one glimpse of beauty. From week to week my landmarks A sermon dull on Sunday: On Friday night the Plumville Siar t The weekly wash on Monday. And, ohl there’s never a line of grace, And never a hint of glory.” She sighed and lengthened her pretty fao— •* It’s always the same old story 1” 6he dried her eyes and curled her hair, And went to the conference meeting— From the garden gate to tho vestry stair The self-same words repeating. At last the final hymn was sung, And all the prayers were ended. When one from the doorway crowd ameng Her homeward steps attended. They left nt length tne village street. And sprang the low wall over, To cross through Captain Teasley’s wheat And Deacon Eascomhe’s clover. The moon seemed shining overhead To flood the path with glory; They whispered low but what they said Was —only the same old story 1 —Cambrufyi Tribune WaIFS and whims. A scandal monger is a person to add mire. Does a standing joke ever require a scat. Ake men who fit counters in boot, counterfeiters? The sawmill runs to the tune of a log-a-rythm. Sound logic—arguing through the telephone. A professional beauty, though two words, is really only one silly belle. A THUMB on the hand is worth two in a dog's mouth. It is a fallacy to suppose that a baby is being shampooed when he is christened by the minister. It is a mitake. •I‘Genius finds its own road and carries its own lamp,” says the Evansville Journal. Been watching us, have you? • —Kentucky New Era. It was a mean trick for the Buckeye State to hold an election while the Dem ocrats were away attending prayer meet ing. The man that bought a “salted" gold mine in the Black Hills was a hole sold fellow. Depend upon it, “ there’s a time for all things.” The time to leave is when she asks you how the walking is. An individual who called his first daughter Kate, when his wife had an other girl, christened her Duplicate. Many a man who prays not to bo led into temptation would bo awfully disap pointed if his prayer was granted. “Bob Injuresoul” is one of the frightful results of the Chicago Tribune!r new method of spelling A newspaper reporter says that ono of the ladies at the late ball, “took everybody’s eye.” What an eye-dear! Young Lady—“ Have you any dressed kid gloves?” Clerk—“No, miss, we’vo nae kid gloves.” The man who starts for the river ta drown himself will run for a place of safety if he sees a cross bull coming. The father with nine marriageable daughters must have been engaged in the belle foundry business.— Cincinnati Commercial. “The evil of men’s wives lives after them, while the good which they do is seldom spoken of with safety to f a step mother.” A newspaper reporter who died re cently, left a large sum of money behind him. In fact, he left all the money in the world. The best lip salve is a kiss. This rem edy should be used with the greatest caution, as it is very apt to bring on an affection of the heart. Thoz hoo r advokatingafonetiksistem ov speling seem to want to institut a “go az u pleez” orthografy.— Detroit Fret Press. There is a difference between light ning rods and enlightening rods. One takes the mischief out of the clouds, and the other out of the bad boys. “ Two souls with but a single thought, Two hearts which beat as one.” Old folks abed—the lamp turned out— Ob crackey 1 wasn’t it fun. Whitehall Timu. Young Poet—You have some poetic fancy, but your poem will never be ac cepted by an magazine in the world. H is sufficient to say that anybody can understand it. The poem of the period must be an enigma, a rebus, a conglom eration of the vast, the infinite, th, homeopathic, the. perpetual, and th, serio hieroglyphic. You take our mean ing? Write for lunatics, not for men oJ sense, and you will succeed. Daughters of the Rich. No class of women are more to be pitied than the daughters of rich men, who, having real force and energy of character, have no ventjfor it, because fashion requires them to sit still and fold their hands. It does not require this of their brothers. They are applauded when they grow restive under it, and, breaking their bonds, interest thcmselve, in a manly way in something beside, mere pleasure. But let a daughter try it, and immediately the awful Mr,. Grundy starts up and points to her wor sted dogs and cats, and her croquet grounds, and her French dress-maker, and bids the daughter of the millionaire still her pulses and close her eyes and ears to the jiossibilities, and think of nothing but busband hunting. We never can know how many real heroine, are behind the wall of restriction till what is called “adverse” fate sets them free to stand upon their own feet, and to use their own hands, and know their own powers, which had been dwarfed al- I most to extinction by inaction.