Newspaper Page Text
Noftli
fUBUSHED EVERY THURSDAY
BELLtqn, g-a.
BY JOHN BEATS.
Tibms —ll.90 per annum ; 50 cents for six
**“ntes; 26 cents for three months.
Parties away from Bellton are requested
to send their names, with such amounts of
■oaey as they ean spare, from 25c. to sl.
The miraculous release of Charles F.
Freeman, who sacrificed his child at Po
caeset, is predicted by one of the princl
paPAdventistsof that place. According to
this authority, the early resurrection of
.the girl is expected by Freeman and his
religious friends.
The taste for high colors is brought
about by the discovery of the analine
colors. M. Chevreul, the director of
the Gobelin and Beauvais manufactories,
has produced ten chromatic from the
three primitive colors; these ten circles
make thirty series; each tint has its
gamut of twenty-four tones; thus over
14,000 tones are produced, all of which
are said to be needed in the Gobelin and
Beauvais works.
Secretary Evarts has notified the
government of Roumani that the United
States will not recognize it until the
Hewbrew population (about 600,000) are
placed on equality with Roumanians
agreeably to the stipulations of the Ber
lin treaty of 18ff. The government of
Roumania had dodged this duty for near
ly three years, and has continued its un
just discriminations against the Hebrews.
Eighteen faculties of medicine in Ger
many have declared in favor of vivisec
tion as a process of study and observa
tion. But Richard Wagner, the com
poser, opposed it in a public letter ad
dressed to E. V. Weber,; and Professor
Zoellne, of Leipsic, fights it on the
ground that it results from and fosters a
belief in nihilism. The adversaries of
vivisection have made little impression
thus far.
Dr. Richardson says that the body
should be in its best physical condition
at4o years; for thirty years after the
organization should become more perfect;
at 70 old age should begin and last for
fifteen years, when from 85 to 100, there
should be ripe old age, without disease or
pain, but marked by a general subsi
dence of the vital functions. This ?s
his ideal limit of life where nature has
its undisturbed course.
When Mrs. Chipeta Ouray, the wife
of Chief Ouray, of the Utes, passed Al
amosa, Col., eastward bound, she saw the
body of a man dangling from a tree by
the roadside. Mrs. Ouray was so shocked
that she cried all the way to Chicago
and would not be comforted. She
reasoned that if the palefaces were in
the habit of hanging norse thieves the
tribe of her husband could expect no
mercy.
The United States Minister to Bolivia
has turned up at Washington without get
duting leave of absence from his post o
ty. He explains by saying that the Re
public of Bolivia is in a state of anarchy,
the President having been bounced, and
that there is nothing for him to do.
The report on foreign missions made to
Congress, a few years ago, showed that
there nev<r is anything for a United
States Minister to do in Bolivia, but he
gets $5,000 a year.
Berlin takes occasion to crow a little
in a recent report issued by the munici
pality. Berlin is of the opinion that it
has done some pretty good growing of
late years. At the close of the seven
teenth century, when London and Paris
had each over 100,000 inhabitants, Ber
lin had only 10,000. At the beginning
of the present century Berlin had 150
000 people'within its gates; at the end
of 1360 there were 500,000 inhabitants
in the city. Since 1877 there has been
over 1,000,000 in Berlin. The city
naturally thinks it has not done so bad
ly to double its population in seventeen
years. It is now next to London and
Paris in population.
Three fa ctions are said to be contend
ing for the control of Russian policy—
the purely reactionary or autocratic
party, the reform party aiming to secure
the most.important reforms, and the so
called new party, desiring only a few
moderate reforms, such as the decentral
ization of the Russian administration.
This party does not seek to have a parli
ament, but simply provincial delega
tions with a purification of the civil ser
vice, and the adoption of severe measures
against all destructive agencies. Count
Schouvaloff is the chief supporter of
these views, and his return to office will,
in a measure, depend on them making
them palatable to the Czar.
When you see a man with a gun on
his shoulder and three dogs at his heels
making across the country, you needn’t
feel bad for the rabbits. He’ll miss a
crow or two, find a few frozen apples,
fall info a creek, and return home, be
lieving hs has had a thundering good big
tine.
The North Georgian.
VOL. 111.
SOUTHERN NEWS ITEMS.
Wheat and oat crops 100k 1 well in
Georgia.
The Georgia State Geological Depart
ment is no more.
Arkansas ranks next to Texas as a cot
ton producing state.
Eight hundred negroes left Jasper
and Clark counties, Mississippi, last week
for Kansas.
The Atlantic and North Carolina
railroad is now paying the interest on
its bonded bebt.
The five cotton factories in and near
Petersburg, Va., used last year 9,000
bales of cotton.
There are six murder cases on the
docket for the February term of court at
Chesterfield, S. C.
The post-office at Atlanta will lie mov
ed into the new Government building
early in the spring.
Ex-Senator Pomeroy, of Kansas, has a
gold mine in South Carolina which pays
him SI,OOO a week.
The Fair company at
Darlington, S. C., has declared a divi
dend of seven per cent.
The Oxmoor furnace, at Birmingham,
Ala., yields eighty tons of iron, and is
netting SI,OOO per day.
Atlanta baa twelve regular passenger
trains arriving each day, and they are
said to be all well filled”
An orange weighing a pound and a
half has been gathered by John S- Liv
ingston, of Palatka, Fla.
A bale of cotton was raffled off at San
Antonto, Texas, for the Hood relief
fund, and brought $242.50.
Gov. Joseph E. Brown has purchased
real estate in Atlanta in the past six
months amounting to $35,000.
Lots sold for taxes by the sheriff at
Hampton, S. C. were bought at good
prices by enterprising citizens.
A bale of cotton weighing 350 pounds,
shipped from Wilsen, 8. C., was found
to contain 300 pounds of stone.
They are talking of establishing a cot
ton factory in Spartanburg county, S. C.,
with a capital of over SIOO,OOO.
The real estate in Columbus, Ga., is
assessed this year at $778,685 —an in
crease over last year of $128,000.
A first-class wagon and carriage shop
is being established at Huntsville, Ala.,
by a Mr. Laptes, from Louisville.
Eleven bales of cotton were destroyed
at Goldsboro through the carelessness of
a boy who was popping fire-crackers.
The shoe trade of Macon, Ga., is
gerater in proportion to the population
than that of any other city in the south.
In Virginia the killing of partridges
and pheasants is prohibited between
January 1 and October 15 in each year.
Good farm laborers in Oglethorpe
county, Ga., get from SSO to SBO per
year and their board, while a few get
SIOO.
Texas has 7,000 schools, and her school
fund is apportioned equally among the
children of scholastic age, regardless of
color.
To pay a debt, the vestry of Christ’s
church, Alexandria, Va., are endeavor
ing to sell the Bible used by Gen. Wash
ington.
Contractors say that the amount of
building in Atlanta next spring will be
enormous. Real estate is going steadily
upward.
The amount of stealing in Greenville
county, South Carolina, has become so
great that many persons have erected
man-traps.
The Commissioner of Agriculture of
Tennessee has prepared a large and com
plete map of the state at his own per
sonal expense.
Montgomery Advertiser: Alabama
coal is fast becoming the fuel for
steamships that ply in the commerce of
the Gulf ports.
The ladies of Americus, Ga., are col
lecting money to pay for removing the
Confederate dead from Andersonville to
the former place.
The town council of Elberton, Ga.,
has fixed the license for retailing liquors
at SI,OOO. Opposition will carry the mat
ter into the'courts.
The directors of the coming Florida
State Fair, to be held in Jacksonville,
have decided that no games of chance
will be allowed on the grounds.
The Little Rock, Gas company has
reorganized, and the city will again be
lighted with gas. The price of gas to
private consumers is $3.75 per. 1,000
feet.
One hundred and thirty-six loaded
cars were sent south over the Chatta
nooga railroad wi thin ten hours Thursday
Eight locomotives were required to haul
them.
The only vow that a young lady in
Marion county, Fla., made on the open
ing of the new year was that before the
year ended she would get married, by
jingo.
Prof. Jas M. Safford, of Nashville,
has been appointed assistant to Prof. E.
W. Hilgard, special agent in charge, to
write up the production of cotton in
Tennessee.
W. 8. Thomas, who resides near Eliza
bethtown, Tenn., has two sons, one thir
teen years eld and weighing 351 pounds,
and the other seven years old and weigh
ing 173 pounds.
The police force of New Orleans last
year made 18,342 arrests, of whom 12-
781 were males and 5,561 females. The
number of these who could not read or
write was 6,925.
BELLTON, BANKS COUNTY, GA„ JANUARY 29. 1880. NO. 4.
The state debt of Mississippi is $2,618,-
900 47. During the past two years the
debt has been "reduced $220,000. The
cash balance in the treasury Dec. 31,
1872, was $800,757 14.
After defraying the current expenses
of last year, the city of Americus, Ga.,
has remaining in its" treasury $938 36,
besides a balance in bank to the credit
of the city of $5,57184.
The Brown House,* in Macon, Ga.,
was recently sold, including furniture,
to P. C. Lounsberry, of New York, for
$58,761. The outstanding debts of the
house amount to $26,000.
Hon. Henry Parsons, member from
the Fourth Georgia district, will make
an effort during the present session of
Congress to get through a large appro
priation for the Chattanooga river.
In Danville, Va., a man named Wil
liam Fuller was offered a quart of whisky
by a saloon-keeper on condition that he
was to drink it on the premises at once.
He accepted the offer and was buried
the next dsy.
Chas. E. Roberts, well known in news
paper circles, who has been engaged in
theological studies at Nashville, Tenn.,
is lecturing on “ Negro Civilization in
the South.” He has also written a book
on this subject.
Greenville (S. C.) News: A medium
rabbit hunt came off in the lower part of
the county one day last week. Eighty
six of the insects were captured, as many
more were treed, and it was a. poor day
for rabbits, anyway.
Memphis Appeal: The protection of
cotton has become a matter of considera
tion in cotton circles. We have shed
room for some forty thousand bales; and
we have nearly one hundred and twelve
thousand bales on hand.
In the dissection of the whale captur
ed last week at Charleston, S. C., the
eyes were extracted. They are about
the size of an ordinary orange, three
inches in diameter, and very firm to the
touch The pupils are oval.
A Dangerous Whim.
Officer Gillespie, of San Francisco,
was recently waited on by a woman
named McConnell, who resides on Mis
sion street, and who stated that she
wanted him to take charge of her hus
band, who was on the street, armed
with an ax, and threatening the lives
of those who passed by. The officer
went to the place designated, and there
saw McConnell, whose first name is
James and who is a blacksmith by oc
cupation, standing on the sidewalk with
an uplifted ax in his right hand.
The officer took charge of the wan and
conveyed him to the Centra! Station,
where he was examined and found to
have received two wounds, in the
back of the right hand and on the upper
part of the left shoulder. The prisoner
was charged with assault with a deadly
weapon, and after his wounds, which
are very slight, were dressed, he was
questioned, and said: "This whole
thing arises from the fact that some one
had connected an electric battery, or
something of that sort, With my bed
last Monday night. I don’t know ex
actly what it was, but it was a sort oi
cross between an electric light box and
a telephone, from which numerous
streams of electricity darted and dis
turbed me. This was going on all the
time, yet my wife could not see the
light, which lit up the place more bril
liantly than the sun. I went out and
watched and saw my neighbors throw
ing electric balls and darts at my house.
I came here to-day to complain to the
Chief of Police, but went away, as I was
satisfied I wouldn’t get much satisfac
tion anyhow. To-night I got the ax
and saw the fellers at the same work
again, so I determined to stop every one
who came along to find out if they had
anything to do with the electric current,
and I halted every one that came along;
but every time I raised the ax to strike,
a dart of electricity was thrown at me
and that made my arm powerless.
Some people say I had the jim-jams, but
that’s false.”
The “Mouse-Cure.”
This name has been given, and cor
rectly enough, to a new remedy for
leck-jaw. The account of it sounds
more like waggery than fact, but the
New York Timet tells it "bona.fidely" of
an ingenious French physician, who was
called in to prescribe for a lady suffer
ingfrom tetanus.
Her family doctor tried every known
remedy without effect.
The patient was lying on her back
with her mouth tightly closed, and the
muscles of her jaws and throat rigid, so
that she could not utter a sound.
The new physician went out and pro
cured a live mouse, and attached a
strong horse-hair to its tail.
Placing the mouse at the foot of the
bed, he allowed it to creep over the pa
tient the entire length of her body.
She soon felt the creature, and notic
ing what it was, sprang up and screamed,
“Take it off! take it off I and scolded the
doctor very glibly for a horrid, heartless
wretch!”
The doctor laughed,and so did his at
tendants, for all saw that the mouse had
completely broken the lady’s lockjaw.
One nervous shock has been cured by
another.
She had no return of the tetanus
symptoms; and the doctor was so well
convinced of the value of his four-legged
homoeopathy that he went on trying it
for other nervous diseases, prudently, of
course, and it is said that he made the
“mouse-cure” a success every time.
“ Some has bad luck from the shtart,”
said Mr. O’Conemara, “and sorra taste
av anythingelse iver comes to ’em. Wid
me, now, Oi was born a twin the same as
me brother, and we niver had but wan
birthday betune the two av us, until he
doled, long loife to him!’'
fl UTS, JUSTICE, LIBER T Y.
m pastok-h iussignation,
*t I. rmab vena.
flw <ed pastor bowed his head within the Kltar’s
railing;
Kte heads were tremulous with age, his sight and
hearing failing;
Fond faith and trust were striving hard to fight
away his fears.
Bat y«t hte heart was sore and sad and sought re
lief tn tears.
For forty yean Hs tongue proclaimed to all sal
vation’s story.
For forty years to all who came he offered hope of
■tory.
For forty years the bell that eehoed now from out
fho steeple
Fiwol'dnied that here his warning voloo had tidings
for his people.
Bat new the leaden of the clnureh—an influential
eten—
Bad sailed on him to yield his place to hold a
younger man;
Bis < MorgiM had long been spent, «twas meet he
Should rettre
Tha they might call a man of mark endowed with
youthful fire.
With nuavering voice he gave response to friends
who offered greeting,
Ind listened in an absent way to members in the
meeting—
Ettsccursing in familiar tones of changes they were
making—
And asking him to make remarks, although his
heart was breaking.
But «et he apoke— as oft before— his votes aglow
with feeling,
White down his faded, furrowed face slow tears
were softly stealing,
A holy hush pervading all, as though an angel
spell
Had rested on them, as ho rose to bid his Boek fare
well.
Ho spoke of memories sad and swoot, of dim and
distant days,
Os forty years of constant toil, of pain and prayer
and praise—
Os ohfldren -christened by his hand who stood
before him still,
While some reposed beneath the flowers upon ths
distant hili.
And here his voice sank sad and low—tor there hi a
child and wife
Were laid when death had left him lone to live his
laboring life—
Far more were they he onoe had known, who
’neath the willows slept.
Than they who sat before him now, and o’er thoir
memories wepU
For all he prayed as fathers pioad for children
whom they love.
That all might once again be joined in God’s abode
above;
And then, In voice replete with tones of love and
fond < nleasing,
He raised his trembling hands aloft and gave to all
his blessing.
The saddened people silent sat as he resumed his
chair,
While rays of sunshine softly fell and played upon
his hair,
And rested there with light caress, as though a
w golden chain.
By which an angel message sought and soothed
him in his pain.
The organ broke tbe silence than with sweetly so)
emn roll,
That wailed in waves of stiver song across the sad
soul,
> Vttt. * rtock es Ages,* old, yetnow-—majestic, grand,
and strong-
Well may the angel choirs above Ito quivering
notes prolong.
The people lose to bo dismissed; their pastor lin
gered stfll,
And smiling looked upon the graves that crowned
the distant hill;
But whan they sought with gentle touch to wak*
the musing mind,
They found that death had called him henoe:
A Story for Little Boys.
'ftodueed from tbs operation* of William H. VanderM!
by the Boston Transcript]
Shall I tell you a sto-ry a bout Will
iam? How your eyes bright-en. You
know that Will-iam is a good boy. You
think, “ What new* thing has this Will
iam done!” I shall tell you. Will-iam’s
pa-pa was ve-ry eX-pert at taw and drop,
lie scooped in ev-er so ma-ny mar-bles.
He a -ways played for keeps. When he
died, he did not take his mar-bles with
him. He was a-fraid they would be
come dam-aged. If you throw a mar
ble in-to your dear ma-ma’s cook-stove,
you will un-der stalid. So Will-iams
pa-pa gave them all to Will-iam. But
William had so ma-ny nar-bles that he
could bust ev-er-y boy that played with
him. Af-tef a time, no boy could be
found who would play with him at all.
Will-iam was ver-y sad. He looked at
his mar-bles and wept bii-ter-ly, because
no boy would play with him. He said:
“ How am I to get more mar-bles? No
fel-ler will play with me.” Fi-nal-ly,
Cy-rus and Kus-sell and Jay and a lot
of other boys offered to go snacksf with
Will-iam; and give him a chance to get
a-way with lots of oth-er boys’ mar-bles
Said the good Will-iam to him-self: “If
I go snacks with these fel-lers, I can
scoop in dead loads! of marbles. No
one will play with me now. It is not
right for me to keep all my mar-bles.”
So he went to Cy-rus and Rus-sell and
Jay and the oth-er boys. He sold them
25,000,600 mar-bles. Just think I Was
he not good? And the boys were so
grate-fur that they gave him ever so
much old i-ron and oth-er muk. Good
deeds should always be re-ward-ed, boys.
I know you are glad that Will-iam was
re-ward-ed. To be sure, Will-iam had
ma-ny more mar-bles. He still kept
e-nough to bust Cy-rus and Rus-sell and
Jay and the other boys. But of course
he would not think of do-ingj such a
thing as that. Now, boys, try and be
like the good Will-iam.
'•'Not “boo,” but “nu,”
(“Snacks.” To “go snacks” is to lay in with.
“Dead loads.” This means a great many.
Becareful to sound the “Dolna,” not “do-In,
He Acknowledged the Corn.
It has always been thought that ears
of corn have an even number of rows,
and that one with an odd number of
rows would be an impossibility. In
slavery times this question was dis
cussed, and a negro in this country
claimed that he had seen ears of that
kind. His master told him that he
would give him his (the negro’s) free
dom for an ear with an odd number of
rows. This was in the early spring;
but in the fall, during corn-gatnering
time the negro came with a sound ear
with thirteen rows. He got his free
papers. A long time afterward the
negro told that in roasting time he took
n sharp knife, cut out one row of grains,
bound the ear together, and knew just
j where to find it when gathering time
1 cauie.
HAMLET WITH A NAVY PISTOL.
A Little Joke ou a St. Louis Drummer.
George Ninaman, a St. Louis drum
mer, stopped one night last week at a
small crossroads hotel in Grant County,
southern Arkansas. The house contained
four rooms and a kitchen. After supper
Ninaman was told that he must spend
part of the night alone, as the family
would attend a protracted meeting in
the neighborhood. The host, with his
wife and daughter, left the house, and
Ninaman sat in one of the rooms alone.
His lonesomeness was added to by an
owl in the yard, which hooted dismally,
and an old red clock on the shelf which
ticked solemnly. The drummer not
having been assigned to a room, could
not go to bed, and he tried to keep
awake by reading the “ Life of St. Paul,”
the only book he could find. Tne hog
grease lamp was sputtering in unison
with the ticking of the clock, when the
door of an inner room opened and a tall,
wild-eyed, bushy-haired man entered.
W itliout speaking he seated himself and
stared at Ninaman, who naturally
showed surprise. Presently a conver
sation was begun, and the man exhibited
such intelligence that Ninaman’s fear
was allayed, especially as the man
claimed to be the landlord’s brother.
The conversation turning on literary
subjects, the man remarked:
“ Did you ever hear Hamlet’s soliloquy
recited properly?”
“ I think sosaid Ninaman, “ I have
heard Booth.”
“ Booth does not catch the spirit,”
said the strange looking man. “He
fails to engraft the twig of dispair on
the tree of Hamlet’s nature. Would
you like to hear it recited properly?”
“Yes.”
“You shall hdar it. I hope nothing
tragic will occur, but by Moses, you
shall have it anyhow.”
Arising, the wild-eyed man darted
into an adjoining room, and returned
with a navy pistol. Placing the pistol
on the table he "began •to recite in a
voice so deep and with an air so wild
that Ninamau was startled. When he
came to “ take up arms against the sea
of troubles, and by opposing them, end
them,” he seized the pistol, cocked it,
and placed the muzzle against his head.
“ Shall I end them with you?” -
Ninaman suggested that his troubles
were not greater than he could bear,
and asked the man to lay aside his
pistol.
“Ah, I see you do not like tragedy.
You no doubt like comedy. Pull off
your coat and dance, or I’ll end your
life.”
The pistol was leveled, and Ninaman
pulled off his coat and began to dance.
“ Woop it up,” yelled the man, “or
I’ll end them. Pull off your trousers.”
The trousers came off and the dancing
continued.
“ Pull off your drawers.”
The drawers came off.
“ Off with your shirt.”
The shirt flew into the air; a noise
was heard outside, and the landlord,hid
wife and daughter were on the porch.es
“ Let me go, for God’s sake,” plead
Ninaman.
“No, sir; I’ll kill you if you attempt
to leave. You are a comedian.”
The door-knob turned. Ninaman
sprang toward a door and rushed up
stairs as the pistol snapped.
In a few minutes the landlord came
up and handed Ninaman his clothes.
“I forgot to tell you,” said he, “that
my brother is deranged. He has an old
pistol, but couldn’t hurt anything with
it. He is harmless, but likes his little
jokes.”
The next morning the wild man was
in such good humor that he offered to
beat Ninaman throwing rocks at an
oyster can.
Telephones and Talking fish.
[London Telegraph.]
That the telephone would eventually
prove a source not only of great gratifi
cation but of valuable instruction no
body ever doubted. It has, however, re
mained for some thoughtful scientific
gentleman to utilize it in away which
Will commend itself to all who lovingly
observe nature. One of these, anxious
to know how far the animal world as
simulated itself to our own, lately intro
duced a telephone into some water
which contained a fish. To his aston
ishment he found that the creature,
alone and. unable to converse with any
thing else, was actually talking to itself.
Mr. 8. E. Pearl now comes forward and,
in a letter to a scientific contemporary,
confirms this assertion. He, too, has
been listening, and he finds that the
large “Mashir”. — Barbet Macrocephahu—
converse with a peculiar “cluck” or per
suasive sound, which may be heard as
far as forty feet from the water. He
has also discovered that a large bivalve
exists in some parts of Eastern Assam
which actually “sings loudly in concert.”
After this it would be interesting to
know what it is that the pike says to the
roach before •’wallowing it. If we are ex
pertenoughto read ciphers, surely we
might without great dffieulty learn the
language of the jack.
A Polite Man.
Hon. John M. Eroadhead, lately lying
dangerously ill in the Broadhead man
sion at South Market, N. H., seems to
have retained his sense of humor in the
very presence of the grim messenger of
death. “One day," says the South
Market Advertiser, “ when he was very
low, and Dr. Varney had announced
that he would not live more than forty
eight hours, he apologized to his brother
in-law, Mr. Pike, to whom he is on a
visit, saying: ‘ Excuse me for being so
impolite as to leave my corpse in your
house, for I promise not to repeat the
offense;’ ana softly added, ‘a grave
ioka.’ ”
Published Every Thurway at
BELLTON, GEORGHA.
RATES OF SUBSCRIPTION
One year (52 numbers), $1.00; six months
(26 numbers), 50 cents ; three months (23
numbers), 25 cents.
Ortice in the ISmith building, east of the
depot. f
THE FALLS OF THE SIOUX.
BY L. O. WILSOB.
I’ve seen the wonders of emr land
In mountain, valley, stream and strand,
But ne’er before a spot did find
With such a wealth of oharma as thlna.
A thousand waterfalls in one,
A thousand rills around me ran;
A thousand brooklets laugh and ieap.
And make this lovely acene complete.
Thy waters tell me of that day
When, moons—ay, moons and moons;
The Indian o’er these worn rocks trod,
And held communion with his God.
When, o’er these myriad waterfalls
And through this tele with sylvan halls.
The dusky maid and lover strolled
And love’s old—nay, new—story told.
Here, on thwe rooks beneath the trees,
Sho sat, while he, on bended knees,
Vowed that bls love ahonid novar wans
While rock and waterfall remain.
Again they tell of years to ooms—
Os wheel, and shaft, and spindle hum
Os food and fabric, all complete,
Man’s universal wants to most.
I love Dakota more and more—
Her prairies vast, her mines of ore—
I love her mountains and her glades.
But most her beautiful cascades.
And, though I roam in other lands—
In city dense on ooean’s strands—
Thy oharms shall reign tn mena’ry’s halls,
And bring me back to thee, • Blonx Falls.*
EVERY DAY NI’ICERIES.
The tongue of the real belle never
told slander.— Whitehall Timet.
Courtship, says an exchangs, is not
run by the rule of three. But after
courtship is run by 10; the woman 1,
and the man 0.
It is difficult to understand why a
wife never asks het husband “if the
doors are all locked” until after he is
snugly covered up in bed.'
“lIEAREST let me correct your morals.
You address me, ‘My dearest Maria.*
Am I to suppose that yon have other
dear Marias?”
He said, “I think I’ll utilize your
suggestion.” She replied flushed with
indignation, “I don’t tell lies, and you’re
a mean nasty thing.”
The difference between us and Van
derbilt is that Vander has $16,000,000
in four per cents, and we haven’t foui
per cent, in $16,000,000.
“ Life is full of golden opportunities,"
remarks a philosopher. It is, it is; bus
they arn’t worth their face when you try
to cash them.
The word “ Caution ” appears in
many medicine advertisements, and a
good deal of attention should be paid
to it.
Men are beginning to feel uncertain
as to the policy of wedging a mapls
tooth-pick between their teeth and
breaking it off, for the sake of dislodg
ing a bit of codfish.
This is the the time of church fain, whin
The lamps shine o’er fair women and brare mon
W In n oyster soup with Its golluptlouß amell,
For forty cents a dish is made to sell.
—Toronto Graphio.
“ Did you do nothing to resuscitate
the body?” was recently asked of a wit
ness at a coroner’s inquest. “Yes, sir;
we searched the pockets,” was th«
reply.
The rumor is.out that Gen. Grant ii
using the silk copy of the Hawkeye pre
sented him, for a handkerchief. —Quincj
Modem Argo. This is a sad blow fo.s
Burdette. Who nose if it is true?
A son who had always been sup
ported by his father, cremated the ok
gentleman after death, and put hit
ashes in an urn, so that people couldn’t
say he never urned his living.
People with political communica
tions are respectfully informed that we
have no italic type in this office. We
will not need them ourselves until after
the next election, and we sincerely trust
not then.
Child (scarcely three years old) look
ing wistfully at a diminutive pie:
Mother—” Now, Meta, I want yon to
save your nice pie so your papa can see
it when he comes home.” Child—look
ing still more wastfully—“l sink I
could tell papa ezacly how it looks.”
If you haven’t spunk just eat buck
wheat cakes. They’ll make you come to
.he scratch.—Meridi-n Recorder. Yon
iust come to the scratch and acknowl
edge that this is our paragraph, writ
ten by us months ago.— Kwvuk Conetit*.'.
‘don.
WHAT’S HOKOR?
Ask not the soldier in the battle’s wan,
Nor yet the statesman, uncorrupt as gold,
But her beneath your own roof-tree who can
And will most willingly, to you unfold
The secret. Bid her mark your neighbor’s wife
When she her ample wardrobe seeks, te don her
Fino garments; when she reappears, my life.
I’ll stake, your better half can tali what’s oa her.
The advantages of literary culture are
very great. A young man spent much
of his time in the Public Library in
Glasgow, Scotland. He studied science.
He came across a minute description of
a still. He thought he could make one.
He also made whisky. He is now in
jail.
Take a dead wasp and impale him on
the point of a needle set up in the bot
tom of a wood chair so that the insect
conceals the needle, and then all you
want is to find some man who will be
foolish enough to bet that he can sit
down on that wasp quick and hard
enough to crush it Before it can get its
work in.
The number of convicts in 1878 in
all the State prisons of the Union was
29,197, of whom 13,188 were employed
in mechanical industries.
The countries in which calico print
ing is chiefly practiced are, in the order
of thoir importance, Great. Britain,
France, Germany, Austria, Switzerland,
Spain and Russia and the United States
of late years has become also an exten
sive producer of printed cottons. In
the United Kingdom, which takes the
first place in the point of production,
as Alsace is supposed to do in the mat
ters of color and design, there are 140
firms engaged in the trade.