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Noftl) Qeorgiki), PUBLISHED EVERY THURSDAY BELLTON, GrA.. BY JOHN BL ATS. Terms—sl.o i per av un; 50 cents for six mouths; 25 cents forth *ee no ith . Parties a<ay fro n Bellton are requested to send th jir nines, w.th each amounts of money as th?y can sja-e, fron 25c. to |l. THE WATER THAT'S PASSED. I One of lAwrcnce Barrett’s favorite piece*.] Listen to the water-mill Through the live-long day, How the clanking of the wheel* Wear*' the hours away! Languidly the autumn wind Stirs the greenwood leaves: From the fields the reapers sing, Binding up the sheaves; And proverb haunts my mind, As a spell in cast: “ The mill will never grind With the water that has passed.’ 1 Take the lca c on t® thyself, Loving heart and true; Golden yean* are fleeting by, Youth is passing, too; Jx*am to make the most of life. Lose no happy day, Time will never bring thee back Chances swept away. Leave no tender word unsaid, Love while life shall last— “ The will will nevergrind With the water that has passed. ’’ Work while the daylight shines Man of strength and will; Never does the streamlet glide Useless by the mill. Wait not till to-morrow’s sun Beams upon the wav; All that thou canst call tby own Ides in thy to-day. > Tower, intellect and health May nnt, cannot last; “ The mill will never grind With the water that has pawed.” Ob, the waisted hours of lif® That have drifted by! Oh, the good we might have done, Lost without a sigh; Love that We might once have saved By a single word: Thoughts conceived, but never penned, Perishing unheard. Take the proverb to thine heart— Take! on, bold it fast! “ The mill will never grind With the water that has passed. FOREVER! st n.RBT H*r.woon leech. “ Promise!" " I do, solemnly.” "Forever?” continued the solemn, j broken voice. “Forever," cried the weeping maiden by the bedside The wasted hands were raised over the head of the kneeling figures; the pale lips of the dying woman parted; the tongue tried to utter a blessing,but all the brightness faded from the eyes. The woman was dead. Two young girls knelt at the bedside. Constince Owen was the name of one, with sallow skin and large brown eyes; and Edith Ormond, she was called, with ringlets oi gold floating around Iter fair neck, and whose head was leaning upon the shoulders of Constance, who had promised the dying woman to be a sister, protector—mother, even—to the fair maiden at her side. The strong, faithful, homely girl called Constance, was an adopted daughter to the dead lady—one of those waifs oi the street,whose only hopeof life is in the charity of some tender-hearted stranger. She, however, repaid her protector by a love and regard as filial as that of her own daughter; and when, upon her death-bed, Mrs. Ormond bade Constance Owen make her the solemn promise recorded, the brave girl not only did not falter, but whispered once more to the stricken girl by her side : “Yes, Edith, for the sake of the love vour mother gave to the orphan will I love you better than myself—forever!” « * * * * * Two years passed—two years since Edith, the beautiful, and Constance, the nravc, had lost their best friend. The former had grown more lovely, even, than the promi e of the dawn of her radiant maidenhood; the latter more homely, larger featured in the lace, but with years i n added dignity of mien, a more* intelligent light in the quiet, tender brown eyes, and torce of char acter better denned in every movement. There came many a suitor to Bonny brook —so the little country seat belong ing to Edith was called—but, so far, the little coquette did not pay much heed to any of them. She was chasing the butterflies of fancy around the Garden of Eden—first youh. But at length her beauty, grace, and, perhaps, high social posit cn, brought one day to the gates of Donnybrook, one- Dr. Paulding, a superior and rising young physician, who lived in the city close by, and when he itad found his way to that pleasant country nook, somehow he dis covered patients in that vicinity very frequently. Was it Edith’s fair face that made him Lake that blooming high wav soof’en? He wa- i ndeed fascinated by her bright girlish beauty, and one eveningafter he bad been wandering in the gardens, un der the moon, soft, pleasant words must have been spoken, for after he had gone. Edith, with a flushed face, da»hed into the room where Constance was'awaiting her, said in a happy, trembling voice: “ Oh! darling, 1 am so happy. He has told me he loved me.” Constance spoke not a word. Edith was held a moment to a beating heart, a soft ki»j touched her forehead, and the next moment rhe was alone. “ He loves me, he loves me!”_and Edith looked out over the gardens, fiom which the dews of night were distilling all their odors: she gazed at the beau tiful moon, and peopled the shadows with the image of the man who had first stirred her young life with the di vine music of love. A month after the pleasant confes sion bad been made. Edith was called to the mountains of Vermont to attend a dying aunt, the only sister of her dear mother, and she had to proceed alone, as Bonnybrook would have lacked a guardian if Constance had accompa nied her—Dr. Paulding's duties utterly denying him that pleto i - ■ Constance was engi.,..s d in her house duties and saw but little society, save a The North Georgian. vol. in. few rustic neighbors, who recommended | themselves by their goodness of heart, i and certainly not by the brilliancy of , their wit or understanding. Once and j awhile Dr. Paulding would ride out to I Bonnybrook, as Constance told him, I “ from the force of old habit,” but soon I it seemed that the man of medicine and j science did not carry on the converse- , tion with the old ease, grace, and J spirit. What had come between Con- I stance Owen and himself? Something | inexplicable. The noble woman found ! a strange, rare pleasure in the society ■ of the gifted man; the scholarly man a j sympathy with the large-hearted, in- , tellectual woman, which he had never known or experienced in any of her sex. “True,” he had said to himself, “ she is not beautiful; indeed, measured by the rules of beauty, she is positively ugly. But who can gauge the charms [ of a melodious voice, or define the ten- i derness of an honest, kindly eye? And she, too, mused in'this wise: I "This Dr. Charles Paulding is a mar-! velously gifted man. What power of | language, what treasures of imagination I he possesses! What a noble career he I has before him ; and Edith”—here she | would pause and think of that clinging | tendril, not as helping the growth of the j oak, but as drawing from its strength. I Yet from all such thoughts as these ■ her staunch and loyal heart would res- ; olutely turn away—yet for all this her speech would not come as “ trippingly on the tongue ” as iu the old days, and he would oftentimes finish a sentence I in the middle of it, and then lose him- I self iii vague glances at the ceiling or I out into the gardens. Oh, it was a dangerous time for both j of these awakening hearts. But they glided on the treacherous stream, and seemed only conscious that the hours j were sweet and that the sun shone on I the waves. There was no thought; of j disloyalty in either heart. He was, ; above all, a man of honor, and she, of all else, a loyal woman. Yet how hearts de- I lude themselves. In the very pride of I his strength Samson was shorn of his i locks. One quiet evening in July Dr. Pauld- ■ ing had taken tea at Donnybrook, and ; Constance—his “hostess” only, she; called herself—strolled down to the 1 gate with him. His impatient horse i was biting the rough old hitching-post, I and throwing up clouds of dust with his ' fore feet. He had been kept there for : hours, and he seemed more eager than his master to leave Bonnybrook behind i him. ‘The doctor idly plucked some heliotrope as they strolled down the 1 rose-bordered paths, and mingled with | the flowers some dainty mignonette and 1 a pale bud or two of the tea-rose. At last he placed the bouquet in her hands ' and said dreamily: “Read the emblems, Constance—you [ who are a priestess in Flora’s beautiful I temple.” She quietly looked over them. "Ah,” she said, “you choose well, Sir Botanist. Here you have ‘ beauty ' in retirement, * constancy ’ —that is j good—and I am not ‘a summer friend ’ ! —that is better than all. But you 1 flatter with your flowers nevertheless.” ; “Not you,” he replied eageriy, al most tenderly, and in a voice that some how frightened her. She replied almost coldly, although her heart was strangely beating and warm; unusual color was in her face. “My best friends, doctor, will tell you that lam ugly and commonplace. Be lieve them, I beg of you, and do not let ; your imagination invest me with any i charms.” He seemed at once to be carried away I by his passion. He leaned over her and ! replied warmly: “ I say you are beau- I tiful, Constance Owen. 1 feel your 1 beauty in my very soul.” But he said j no more. The face of Constance was a study; ' the flush that oefore had crimsoned her 1 cheeks died out, and she became ghostly I pale. Her fingers which had clasped , the flowers, slowly opened and they dropped to the ground’ at her feet. All at once the vision of the dead woman seemed to present itself to her mind, and the trust she was violating struck cold to her heart. Was'his the “ Forever!” she had spoken? She stag gered and would have fallen; the arms s of Dr. Paulding were about her; but she ' waved him away in a moment with such I a piteous, despairing gesture that he obeyed her without a word. She only had strength to falter: “Go—and remember Edith ” —and the stsggered back toward the house, leaving him standing there, bent and trembling. She did not know how she reached I her own room; the strong woman had i learned at the moment she loved she } must sacrifice and renounce She stood for hours white and mo- | tionless, looking out at the sunset and ; the gathering gloom of evening, with j wild thoughts chasing themselves [ through her brain, and a dumb, aching > piain in the heart, every hope trailing I in the dust, like those sweet flowers he ; had given her. She laid her head after | a while upon her hands, and wept softly through the long, long hours, un til she heard the village bell strike the hour of midnight. She had prayed and wrestled with her grief and agony, and rose up at length quiet and calm. She had yielded to duty and her promise to the dead. Somehow Constance Owen seemed te grow prettier as the months passed by; | there was some refining change which , was softening her ruggt d features and j rounding every line in her stately form. I The summer into autumn had flown, and still Edith Ormond had not re- | turned to Bonnybrook. Her aunt had ! died and letters came from time to time ' I saying that erelong she would be home, 1 BELLTON, BANKS COUNTY, GA., MARCH 11, 1880. I yet she came not. Could she suspect i the disloyalty of her lover? It was late in the fall, when the j woods had put on their pomp of glory, I and the chill winds sent the fallen ■ leaves through the valleys at Bonny- I brook, when Dr. Paulding rode up to I the bouse and asked for Constance. She , had only received him twice before since the summer evening, and had then contrived, by womanly tact, not to I be alone with him—although she no I longer rioubted her strength. Con j stance, on this occasion, received her i guest alone; there seemed a strange em- ■ barrassment in his manner. After the first greetings were over, he said: “ Constance, I have much to say to you to-day. Do you think you can listen to me calmly ?” “ Y’es,” she replied. “Ifit is upon a i subject on which you speak”—and she I added trembling—“ to which I should I listen.” “ Both,” he said. “ When first I saw ! Edith Ormond I was captivated by her I beautv and girlish graces; I thought 1 I loved her.” Constance would have stopped him by a gesture, but he begged her to listen j —“ for you can do so now,” he said, I “ in all honor and reason.” I He continued: “ I never had my heart stirred by j the full knowledge of love, however, un til I knew you and discovered the wealth of your sympathies and the womanliness of your character. I I never respected you more than when i you rejected me, knowing I was the en i gaged husband of Edith. But fate has I been kind to us both.” His voice was ' trembling with emotion. " Read the last part of this letter.” He handed a folded paper to Con ; stance, who took it as one in a dream. “ From Edith?” she said. I “Yes.” The portion she read ran thus: “So you see, dear Dr. Paulding, it is I better I should tell you now, that I have I met one here—my cousin Ray—whom I , feel that I love better than anybody in j the world. I have promised to be his wife and I am sure you will forgive me, : for you are so noble and grand and all i that, and I should feel, I know, that I never could fill Worthily the exalted I sphere of Dr. Paulding's wife— ’ Constance could read no more; a mist | gathered over her eyes, but this time a ' strong arm was about her and a voioe, deep and melodious, whispered to her: ‘ “ Dearest Constqnno, will ynn he mine :it~ last?” Their lips met for the first I time iu one long kiss of love, and her I answer was: “Yes, thine—forever.” Wanted Exercise. « [lndianupoliii Journal.] An ordinary lookingtraveler went into I the dining hall at the Union Depot the I other day, carrying a nice satchel. He I walked up to the counter, put down the satchel, called for a cup of coffee and a ; pieceof pie, which he devoured. Leaving ! the satchel by the counter he sauntered ! to the other side of the room, and en i tered into conversation with a gentleman I there. A policeman coming in and seeing the satchel apparently without an owner, picked it up, and said : “ Hello, anyone know anything about this keyster?” “ That’s mine,” said the traveler. “ Better take care of it or some one will steal it.” “Oh, I guess not; I’m an old trav eler.” The policeman walked out; in a few minutes in came a dapper little man, looked carelessly around, saw the sat chel, carelessly walked over to it, care lessly picked it up, and was going for the door when the owner sang out: “Hello! where you going?” “ Going to a hotek” “ Well, what are you doing with that satchel?" going over to him. "That’s my satchel, hand it over.” But d. 1. m held on to it, and without any ado the traveler knocked him down a time or two, and was proceeding to polish him I off nicely when interrupted by the po- | licemaa, who separated the men, and while receiving an explanation from the stranger, the thief escaped. The trav eler put his satchel down by the coun ter, where it was before, and went to ■ the other side of the room to continue ; the conversation. The policeman eyed the satchel, then the man, and walking over to him, S lid: “Now, see here, what do you mean leaving that bag over there; what sort of game is this, anyway?" " Well, I’ve been traveling for over six weeks, and I’m pining for a little i gentle exercise; tiiat’sall,”|said the trav ‘ eler. Fashionable Pawning. American ladies can hardly form an ! idea of the immense extent of thepawn i ing business in Paris, which is largely ; carried on by women. Thousands of I ladies in that city who move in fashion i able circles almost continually have : some portion of their wardrobe and I jewelry in pawn. Os late a new branch lof trade has sprung up. Furs that have been pawned are hired out by the day, or even by the hour. A lady may ap pear on some cold day in an elegant fur cloak, which she hired of a pawn broker for a few hours, which cloak has been pawned by some other lady who desired to make a marked display in some other direction—perhaps in jew- ■ elry, or an elaborate costume. With | out one knows absolutely the financial I standing of an elegantly dressed lady in i Paris, one cannot tell whether she has | been costumed at the pawn-shop or I not. And this is a phase of fashionable I life in Paris! I Onions are prescribed as a sure cure i for clerical kissing. SOUTHERN NEWS. The State Treasury of Texas has a sash balance of $350,000. One hundred thousand sheep are taxed in Coleman County, Texas. The “Young Daughters of Enoch” is the name of a secret colored benevolent society chartered iu Virginia. Twenty-six fish ponds have been stocked by artificial means in Thomas County, Ga. The ..Etna furnace at Rome, Ga., is turning cut an average of twelve tons of good pig-iron per day. The popular vote in Nashville and Edgefield, Tenn., on the question of an nexing the latter to the former, re sulted in favor of the affirmative. Dr. Sears has allowed SBOO on the Peabody fund this year in the schools of Denison, Texas, and proffers to the high schools of Texas fifty Peabody arize medals. Rev. Jacob Young,ot Irwin county, Ga., killed a catamount that was known to have killed over one hundred sheep, and was a terror to all the sheep owners in the county. Atlanta has four public colored schools and three schools for the superior education of colored people. The latter schools have an aggregate attendance of 820 students. Columbia, 8. C., has seven printing offices, giving employmenttofourty-two journeymen printers, besides the usual number of apprentices. There is also a book-bindery in the city. A hopse belonging to the New Or leans fire department died last week at the age of thirty-seven years. The fire company paid $375 for him, and he did active work as an engine-horse for four teen years. Edgefield, the beautiful suburban v'llage recently annexed to Nashville, will probably be known as East Nash ville in future. Edgefield has a sepa rate existence of thirty-seven years, and now includes property worth $3,000,000. The Chairman of the Military Cam irittee of <i>» Directors of the Nashville Centennial offers $2 000 for the best drilled military companies taking part in the celebration. A number of com panies will be present from other Stales. A bill is before the Virginia Legis lature to amend the criminal law so as to include razors in the act in which con cealed weapons are defined, and to make it a misdemeanor to carry a razor ha bitually, the penalty of which shall be a fine of SSO. 'There have been presented to the city of Chattanooga two pieces of property on the river bank, including 2,000 feet of river frontage, to be used for a wharf, with the express understanding that no tariffs are to be charged on freight landed there. Mr. Ellis, a widow in Ellis County, Ga., armed herself with an ax, attacked a huge wild-cat andcameout victorious. The Arlington Advance says that this was a very bold act, as even old hunters would not dare to approach one of these ferocious varmits in that way. Richmond (Va.) Commonwealth: A man named Weakley died a few days since in Culpeper County, aged JOS years. It is supposed his death w’as hastened by the use of tobacco, to which he was addicted for a period commenc ing shortly after the conclusion of the Revolutionary war. Affidavits have been sworn out charging the daily papers of Wheeling. W. Va., with Sabbath desecration by employing workmen on Sunday, in vio lation of the State laws. The law and order party say they will fight to the bitter end, and have employed detect ives. A gentleman at Atlanta has pur chased Confederate currency amounting to over $1,000,000, which he will use :s circulars, printing his advertisement <n the back of each bill. He is of the ipinion that many millions of this cur ■ency are still in existence, and that here are many parties who are hoarding t carefully, expecting some day to see t worth 100 cents on the dollar. The fine animal, " Boeuf Gras,” irhich headed the procession on Mardi jJras at New Orleans, is pure white, sight feet eight inches long from the toms te root of tail, eight feet eight riches round the withers, nine feet three nches around the protine, fifteen and three-quarter hands high, and weighs (omething Itss than three thousand pounds; is in prime health and as gen tle as a lamb. In Blount County, Ala., a dance was given at the residence of a well-to-do farmer at some distance from the county town. Several yonng men from" town came out in full dress, anticipating lo!s as fun, but were met at the door by the old gentleman, who said that the dance was for his neighbors’ boys and girls, and he wanted nobody to fool around who could not wear jeans an<J dance an Old Virginia reel. NO. 10. Lands in Sumter, Marion, Clarendon and Williamsburg counties, 8. C., which eighteen months ago were offered at $2 per acre without purchasers, are now selling freely at $lO per acre. One Northern farmer, who bought land in Sumter County, claims to have made last year thirty bushels of wheat to the acre of better quality than he had ever raised in the North, and more salable in the markets, and had also raised fifty bushels of oats to the acre. Dr. C. M. Vaiden, a leading philan thropist of Mississippi, is dead. The greater portion of Dr. Vaiden’s life was spent in the State of Mississippi, where as a physician, planter and merchant he had a career of great success and use fulness. He was so fully impressed with the value and importance of education that he maintained at his own cost many students at the schools of his State, not less than sixty of them being sustained at the University of Missis sippi by his munificence, and it was while on a visit to this institution in the inter est of the education of the voung men of the State that he contracted the disease which led to his untimely tak ing off. Mormon Maledietion. [Rail Lftko Special to Chicago Tribune.] There was a tragic scene witnessed here to-day at the Fourteenth Ward Assembly Rooms. The occasion was the funeral services of a young man named Cain. He was the son of a for mer influential Mormon who possessed very valuable property in the center of the city, but was cheated out of his pos sessions by Brighant Young during his tyrannical reign. At the father’s death young Cain sued for his inheritance, and succeeded in securing many rights. At the same time he apostatized from the Mormon faith. He was young and very popular here, and had no faults save intempprance. Recently he visited his sister at Coalville, and while there contracted typhoid fever, which, in the end, proved fatal. His remains were brought to this city, and his mother, still au adherent to Mormon tenets, in sisted on his burial by the Church John Tavlor, President of the church, officiated. He made some fitting re marks, and then said: “ But let us return to the young man. Was he a Saint? No. He was once a Saint, but departed front the Church He left the faith. Did he die a Saint? No; he died a dfunkard, and will find a drunkard’s grave. He has gone to hell, and there is where he deserved to go.” With one wild shriek, the mother screamed: “ My God, my God, my only son, and to think that his only fault should be thus made public!” and fainted. The sister, overcome with grief, did likewise. They were taken home, and have since been under the care of a physician. The course of Taylor is ac counted for by bis desire to stop apos tatizing by young Mormons, but it is condemned here by all, save fanatics. Bayonets at Alma. One of the characteristics alluded to was the manner in which the Russians used the bayonet. They stood firm, shoulder to shoulder, and held their weapon tight, at the “charge” with the point raised toward the faces of their op ponents, never moving the while, unless thrust at, when they would rouse up and thrust back in return—slowly, but strongly. Our fellows upon closing, finding them immovable and unflinch : ing, commenced fiercely thrusting at I them, and owing to the lack of guard- I ing on the part of the Russians, th« thrust would often tell—but still not enough to break their ranks. Then commenced our characteristics; where we could not break through in front, we would try one side then the other; now shifting, now turning, ever on the move; drawing back for concentration, and then rushing forward, officers using their Colt’s revolvers meanwhile. It was iu one of these concentrated rushes that we succeeded in penetrating this “phalanx;” but our previously “blown” men were now tired and ex hausted after the march and the scrambl ing, upward nature of the conflict, and their bayonet thrusts, though constant and fierce, were not so rapidly given as be fore; however, like the peculiar dog whose name is frequently used to char acterize the Briton, they “hung on” thrusting slowly but deadly, in silence; perspiration streaming down their faces, blood from their wounds, and their weapons reeking, they struggled on, up ward and onward, winning their way step by step, over the fallen bodies of friend ana foe, till finally victory derchcd upon their banners. Not that Kind of a Starcher An absent-minded man, traveling : with his wife in a railroad car, left her 1 side to cet a drink. When he returned !’he dropped into a seat, immediately in 1 front of his better-half, beside an unpro ; tected female over whose head the snows I of about thirty-eight winters had glode. His wife was looking out of the car win dow at the scenery and didn’t not'cehis awful blunder. Presently, without turning his head, he impatiently re marked : “ Jane, how often have I told you not to starch my shirts so infernally stiff.” The ancient female whose for ward name happened to be Jane, screamed “ Monster,” and fainted on the spot, and the absent-minded man looked uncomfortably warm as he changed seats. A Washington correspondent notices that in promenading the men there lake the women’s arms. . Published Every Thursday at BELLTON. OEORGHA? JtAT/JS OF SUBSCRIPTION. One year (52 number-), $100; six months (26 numbers) 50 cents; three months (23 numbers), 25 cents. Office in the Smith building, ea'.t of the depot. PASSING SMILES. Sunday school teacher—“ Annie, what must one do to be forgiven?” Annie— “ He must sin.” All the world may die, the hard hearted Dutchman sheds not a tear over his beer. It would be easy to learn a foreign language if, as the Irishman said, “ it oauld only be spoke in English.” Kleptomania is getting to be a very common disease among the upper classes,- eo likewise is umbrellatomania. There is not half the satisfaction in reading a borrowed paper that there is in perusing your own. Try it, borrowers. “ Married life,” moralizes an author, “is not all made up of sunshine and peace.” We should judge not Espec ially when its twins. In old times it was the custom to ex claim to bores and such people: “Go to!” The same expression, with addi tions, is used to-day. Somebody has started the story that when a young boarding-school miss was informed there were no gooseberries for sauce, she wanted to know what had happened to the goose. A little boy watched his father ad just a billiard table with a spirit level. After the old man had finished the job he remarked: “ Now, pa, see if my head is level.” It is said that Victor Hugo kisses the ladies at meeting and parting. That’s all right at parting, but kissing them at meeting is a new dodge in the way of getting up a religious revival. School-mistress (just beginning a nice improving lesson upon minerals to the juniors)—“ Now, what are the prin cipal things we get out of the earth?” Youthful angler, aged four (confiden tially)—“Worms 1” Lying is;a sin destructive to society says a noted writer. When a fellow has a willing wife and wet kindling wood, the chances are that he’s going to lie every morning and society can suffer the consequences. The sale of the paintingsand sketche' of the late Mr. Hunt, in Boston, brought his family the snug sum of $63,887. American art is not wholly neglected by Americans, The Texas style of popping the ques tion: “I’se a gret mind to bite you.” “What have you a great mind to bite me for?” “Kase you won’t have me.” “ Kase you ain’t axed me.” “ Well, now lax you.” “ Then, now I has you.” The best poet fob the head—Hood.— Little's Living Age. The best writers for the stomach—Bacon and Lamb. (We hope this thing will stop right here.) — Scientific, American. No! no! Let’s have Moore. The scandalmonger’s poet Sully.— Public Opinion. The King of the Belgians has confer red the Leopold Cross on Rosa Bonheur, artist. She is the first lady receiving the distinction. The King of Spain also conferred on this distinguished painter an equally high order, never before granted to a lady. It is no wonder the Binghamton people drink so much whisky. Accord ing to the Leader the following list of articles have been found in their drink ing water: “ Nitzchia curvulrt, cymatop leura elliptica, stauroneis, punctata, pleurosiema spencerii and rhizosolenia eriensis.” When the enterprising swindler isn’t swindling, —isn’t swindling— When the “sinner” isn’t occupied in sin, «evpie<l in sia— He loves to wat«h the big bank assets dwindling, —as it’s dwindling— And calculate the mim that ho is “in,” —he is “iu.” —Puck. “ Ma,” said a little girl, “ I think Aunt Rose is getting to be an old maid.” “Why?” asked the mother. “Because she is all tne time finding fault with her lookimr glass, and begins to drink her tea without sugar, and won’t tell her age, and —” But the mother pretended she had to look after affairs in the kitchen, and didn’t stay to hear the rest of the “ symptoms.” “I wish you would keep your mouth shut!" exclaimed Hollemoiit, the dentist, suddenly losing patience with his patient's predilection to talking. “All right,” said the latter, suiting the action to the word. And then Holle mout asked him if he would be so kind as to open it again long enough for him (Hollemout) to get his finger out. You never de know how to please some men. II e stood with his car to the telephone At r time when he hadn’t ougnter, And caught the words in a distant room Os his only child—a daughter. The sounds he heard to his heart sharp went Like the stroke of a reaper’s sickle. “ Oo! Oo! good gracious, Neddie, dear, How yrur mustache does tickle!” Then the father, he Went quite crazee. And bare his bosom throwing: Ilf stabbed himself with a tcJepiione Hire And set his life-blood flowing. “ Come to this bosom my onliest only dear,” he gently murmured. And when she spit on her hands and made a run ning jump for him, remarking in her flight “ You may just bet your sweet life I’m thar, old hoss,” he concluded it must be the new hired girl, instead of his Clarissa Maria whom he had met in the dimly lighted hall, and he hastily got behind the sofa till the storm blew over. “No, no, no! Tommy, that isn’t the way to do it; poetry is written by the feet,” said an exasperated father to his six-year-old son who was trying to write a parody on ‘ Pussy Cats.” “Written by the feet?” “ Yes, certainly.” “ Well, by golly!” exclaimed the little fellow, as he swung his handsand gazed at his worthy tire’s No. 10’s, “ darned if I don’t think you’re, right, old man, by jest taking a squint at them feet of yours. I s’pose that’s why some lines is so much bigger than others, ain’t it?” But the old gentleman vrould’t see the point,