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” Aortl) Georgia!],' PUBLISHES EVERY THURSDAY BILJ.TON, GA. I BY JOHN BL ATS. ! P er a ’” nm ;£0 cents for six oiootai; 25 cents for month?. arties away from Belltcn are requested Wseu4 t£eir names, with such amounts of money <i cm spare, from 25c. to sl. MISSES. # BY ROSE HARTWICK TItORPE. t Author of “ 6urfpw Shall Not Ring To-night.”] Lit lie child, d-t-.cn fR slight shadows Close* the western gates of gold. Then th<«e loving arms of mother’s Tenderly ahml thee fuld. Cvtfr lip. and check, and forehead, Lite a shower caresses fall; For a mother's kiss at twilight Is the sweetest kiss of, all. Pretty maiden at the gateway, £hy» tac« and downcast eyes, Two White, trembling hands impawned, How the golden moment Hies! IJps that softly press thy forehead, All | fee rosy blushes call: For a lover’s ktes at twilight 1« the fondest kiss ol all. ► Bftppy wife, thy noble husband, More than half h lover yet— For thojH' sunny hours of wooing Are too sweet to soon target- On thy smiling Ifps uplifted, Full of love his kisses fail. For a husband's kiss at parting la the dearest kiss of all. Weary mother, little children With their dimpled hands so fair, Pacing Over cheek and forehekd, Soothe away all pain and care. Lead your doubting heart to Leaven, Where no dreary shadows fall, ‘For the kiss of sinless childhood As the purest kiss ui all. ADVENTURE IN THE ANDES. In the year 1871, the narrator was factor or agent for a firm doing business in New York and Valparaiso; anti in April of that year it became necessary for me co make a journey from the lat ter city to Mendoza, which is the capi tal of one of the States of the Argen tine Republic. ‘ Upon this journey I had for a travel ing companion a young ensign, named Seaver, from the Uniled States ship L—, then in harbor of Valparaiso, and two peons (grooms); and we traveled in company with a Government courier who had the mail in charge. •fluf route lay across the Cordillera Andes), and was made by way of the Usaplata Pass; and it was •during our trip over the mountains that I was an eye-witness of the foilowing portions incident. Both Seaver and myself were young men to whom the trip was a novel ex perience. Leaving Santiago on the 11th of the month, we immediately entered among the foot hills, our route taking us grad ually yet constantly upward, and in four days reached the summit-ridge of the “ paso,” thirteen thousand feet above the sea-level at the Port. Our nights were passed at the “ casuches,” or shelters of brick or stone, built by the Chilian Government for the protection of travelers. From the Western side the ascent presents no great difficulty: though often devious and steep, the path is quite safe. Nothing can exceed the grandeur of the mountain scenery from the dividing ridge of the Uspalata range. The air, from its rarity at this great height, is wondrously clear. The gla ciers, across the deep, daik gorge on the left, glitter like roseate crystal; while on the right towers the vast snow-white cone of Tupungati. Though already thirteen thousand feet above the plains, this enormous peak rises fully eleven thousand feet higher, dazzling the eye with its pure bright robe of everlasting snow. Summer and winter it stands, alike, white and cold. Never had the brilliant beauty and grandeur of the Andes im pressed me so deeply, unless perhaps when first the long white line of sun tipped peaks opened to my Northern eyes on entering the harbor of Valpa raiso. But the descent of the mountains on the east side toward Mendoza, io a mat ter of far more peril. Before us lay the dreaded laderas which we had fre quently heard spoken of; and many of the stories related concerning them had filled us with a vague apprehension of coming danger. The term ladera is given to a narrow path which threads the s-ide of a steep mountain, particularly when along the brink of precipices and overhung by crairs. On the Uspalata paso there are three of these laderas, of which the third and last, going eastward, is by far the worst. It is railed the Laderda Vacoslase, or the “Uow Path.” Beneath it flows the Rier de las Voids, or Cow River. The peiyjs related some story connected with the name which, however, the long rough journey has jolted out of my mind past recall. On the second afternoon after passing Tupungati, the guides told us that the laderas would be reached next morning; but as it proved we were to have com pany in passing them. Thus far we had’ seen few travelers on our way, having met only a Government courier and a German-Jew clothing-dealer. But that evening the tinkle of mule bells along the path ahead announced that a numerous troupa, or caravan, was not far in advance; a d just at sunset we came up with their bivouac in the lea of a cliff which offered them sheltej from the chill evening wind. It was a party of political refugees, as we understood, that had left Mendoza during a late civil disturbance, now on their return. The party numbered rising seventy persons among whom were twelve or fifteen women, some of these latter plainly ladies of good birth, and at least twenty children under the age of ten. For company’s sake we made our own bivouac a little the right of them; and during the evening they testified their good will by first sending us a present of cake am a bundle of cigaritos, and afterwards freely coming to our fire and engaging in friendly conversation. The North Georgian. \ OL. 111. Early in the morning we were roused by the cries of the muleteers. Our ’ friends were already astir, taking their ■ mate (tea), and preparing to set forth. | A long line of mules stood in the path, each with a huge wicker panier, or I double basket slung across its hack. The , use of these I was not long in learning; they were for carrying the children. The little girlsand boys were put in the I baskets, one on each side of the mule's I back, and the covers shut. Doubtless I this was the safest plan; yet it was not | without a thrill of fear, and 1 thought of the laderae before them; por did I ' wonder at the fond, anxious kiss that ’ each mother bestowed on her darling ere the panier cover was shut and the mule started forward - . i First went the mules with the pack saddles of luggage, then followed those w.'th the children, while those ridden by ’ the women brought up the rear. We hurried our own preparations and set off close behind the troupe, curious ' to see them make the transit of the I difficult paths ahead, A ride of less than a league down the valley now brought us to the first of the i laderas. It is the least difficult of the I three; and at the sight of it I felt for ■ the time quite relieved, for it did not seem so very perilous. The path is ■ nowhere on this one less than a yard in | width, and in but one place did the ; rocks impend over it. Upon the lotver side the mountain sloped steeply down ! into a ravine; and at points showed precipice# with two or three hundred I feet sheer descent. The path curves ' round the side of the mountain, and is, j I should judge, a mile in length. On coining to the head of the path ! where it begins to thread the brink of I the gorge, the caravan had halted; and ' the chief muleteer, or eapitaz, gave l some directions. Girths were tightened, ; and then, at the word, the leading mule ' started forward with his nose to the j ground carefully smelling out each step, I his bell tinkling fitfully. The others followed. Save De tinkle i of the bells, not a sound was to be heard except now and then a sharp ' word from the capitaz: “ A la dcreche!” (To the right)—“ Pass por alia!" (Pass that way)—"A la izguierda.!" (to the left) — "Adalanta!’ (Move forward there) — "Estese ahi!" (Stay where you are) —“ Vaya un poco atras!" (Back a little) — "No vaya tan de prisa!" (Not so fast there.) * Senverand I sat watching them till they had all passed round a bend of the path out sight: we then dismounted, some what to the astonishment of our peons. Nothing would have tempted me to ride along these paths. I prefer to trust my own leg to those of a mule in such places, but of all the caravan ahead of us rot a person dismounted, and our peons declared that it is safer to ride than walk. The second of the laderae, which we came to in the course of an hour, is much like the first, a trifle narrower, I thought, and was passed in the same manner; and at about eleven o’clock we reached the “cow-path.” A glance at this third ladera showed that what we had had was but a for taste of what was to come. The mule train had halted on the little plateau above it. The capitaz was giving orders rapidly; the women looked nervous, rale and alarmed; and some of the children were crying in their paniers. The path seemed narrow and lough. It led down among rocks, at first, then bended along the brink of a'.cliff for sev eral hundred yards; and away down at the lowest, worst part of it, it turns at right angles round a projecting rock and thence leads un a steep incline. This is the point of greatest danger. For that portion of the path leading down to this turn is almost as steep as 1 the room of a house. Looking down at it, either way, it seems as if you would j there come to a jumping-off place, and I once over the brink of the path, one I would slide down a smooth ledge for a hundred feet or more *to the top of a I cliff which overhangs the deep river, | nobody knows how many feet below. ; Down at the “elbow” the solid rock of the pathway is worn into tracks, or holes, six and eight inches in de»th, by the feet of the mules, each one of which steps exactly in the truck of the animal before him. In making the turn at this I point, the mules have literally to bend their bodies; and the rider has here to look out for his ofi leg, for the animals, conscious of the great danger, bear hard against the projecting rock on the upper side. My friend and I had climbed out on the rocks to the left of the path, in order to have a good view of the caravan as it wound down the ladera and doubled the elbow. “ What think you of this, Seaver?” I said to him. “I think it is an institution peculiar to the country,” he said. The mules seemed to dread the descent. The head mule hung back and would not start at the word; but a few blows from therebengue (whip) set him going, though very cautiously, with his nose closely applied to the path. Gradually the ani mal worked bis way down to the elbow, then with a sharp “squirm” to right, rounded it and went up the incline out of s’ght beyond. The second mule stopped short several times. But the muleteers shouted to him and threw stones till he started on. One after another the eight pack-mules went down and around. Then came the eleven panier-mules with the children. Though a foreigner and a stranger, I felt my breath quicken at the peril to i which the little things were exposed. For there seemed more danger to these | than to the pack-animals, in that the ' paniers were larger and more unwieldly j than the pack saddles. “ 0 rnadre! 0 I padre I" the children cried. “0 mi madre! BELLTON, BANKS COUNTY, GA.. APRIL 22, 1880. Metcmo!’ (I am afraid.) "Metemo! Adondc ircmos!" (Where are we going.) ‘ Respondame, mi madre!" (Tell me, mother.) “A nimo mi corazonito! A ninth, mi rpi rida!" (Cheer up, my lit tle heart. Cheer up, my little dear), their mothers kept repeating to quiet them; though they were far from easy themselves. j One after the other the pauier-mules j smelled their way down the path and went round the turn. So sharply did ! they press the baskets against the rock I at the bend, that I could plainly hear ( the wicker-work crackle. Eight had I pas.-ed round out of sight in safety, but the ninth one in order, either from pressing his panier too hard against the stones, or from the sudden muscular effort it made to double the angle I threw its two hind legs off the narrow shelf. Instantly a terrible cry arose from the group of anxious parents above us, mingled with the excited shouts of the muleteers: "'Subaf Rage! Carrambo!" But all stood as if paralyzed, their eyes riveted on the mule; and in truth there was no such thing as getting down to him past the others. The animal’s hind quarters were off the rock, but it clung on by its fore legs and nose. We could actually see the poor beast gripping hold of the reek [ with its teeth. I Seaver and 1 both ran along deter mined to get past the other mules, if we had to climb over their backs. For we could hear these two children scream ing and crying, "() ayndeme, mi madre!" It seem a sight to move the very stones. But the shouting and tumult had started the other mules briskly forward. One or two stepped past where the fallen animal still clung on, but another, hurrying by, knocked the poor creature’s nose off with its feet or its panier, and to our horror, we saw mule and basket slide down the steep ledge to the brow of the cliff, where he seemed to bound off, and wheeling over in mid-air, fell with a sudden plunge into the black stream beneath. “ He's gone! They're lost!" groaned the ensign. Like an echo came the cry, “ Todos murieron!" (They are all dead!) from the party above us, mingled with the sobs of the women. But the mule rose after a moment, and I saw that it was making an at tempt to swim, though grievously weighted down with its load, which still kept its place on its buck. Seeing this, there was a rush of the muleteers back alon.r the path to a point where it was possible to descend to the river. Keuyar and I ran with them, and I recollect taking some prodigious leaps downward from rock to rock. Reaching the bed of the torrent, we followed along beneath the cliff, partly in the water, and some fifty or sixty rods below, came upon the mule stranded in an eddy against a boulder, his nose out of water, and his long, thin, wet tail floating out behind. The paniers, too, were not wholly under. One of the peons instantly lassoed the mule, and in less than half a minute, we had hauled him ashore and torn the covers off the drenched and broken baskets. The poor little creatures lay quite limp and breathless, each with its black hair streaming over its wan face. I thought it, impossible that there could really be life left in them after such a fall; and to add to the piteousness of the scene, the poor half-distracted mother came running through the water where we stood, and gathering them both, in her arms, sobbed and cried,— “ 0 mi queridita, mi alma, mi aida!”— ' (My little darling, my soul, my lifel) . How she had got down there, over such rocks and crags, is more than I can un derstand. But we could find no bruises on them; and heaven war kinder to the poor mother than we at first feared. By vigorous chaffing, they were revived. And as for the mules, saving for a few patches of skin scoured off him as he ! slid down the ledges, he was, for aught j else visible, as good a mule as ever.— I Youth's Companion. A Woman’s Strategy. (New York Commercial Advertiser.] When Miss Fannie 8. Green, the ward of David Jones, proprietor of the Bark Brewery, returned to her house in New Rochelle from the Police Court, the other day, she found it in possession of a man named Kelley, who was em ployed by a relative of her guardian. The effort to dispossess her appeared to have been successful. Officer J. W. Uenniger, whom she had left in charge, had been won over by Kelley and had admitted him to her premises. While Miss Green’s lawyer engaged the atten tion of the two men, the lady herself secured a ladder and nimbly climbed upon the roof. Then she made her way 1 to the open window of her own room 1 and climbed in. Kelly heard her foot . steps upon the roof and commenced an i investigation. Miss Green slipped from | her room and closed and bolted the ' skylight after him. He was now one of the " outs,” and was obliged to climb down the ladder. Going down stairs, Miss Green said to Henniirer: “Oh, you are here yet, are you? Well, if you intend to stay here, you must make yourself useful. Will you please to get me a scuttle of coal from down stairs?” I He took the hod, and she locked the J door behind him, and left him to climb i through the cellar window as best he i could. She was now in comple'e pos session once more, and she admitted her lawyer and her friends, who will see ! that she is not again molested. Success is the card that wins. Even ! the succesful fool is applauded, while I the philosopher who fails ia hissed. SOUTHERN NEWS. Macos, Ga., has funded $107,000 of her debt About SIOO worth of fresh fish is sold in Charlotte, N. C., daily. Tomato plants have borne fruit all winter at Brookville, Fla. TniRTY-EtOnT stirvivers of the Mexi can war reside in Knox County, Tenn. New Orleans has a Catholic popula tion of 250,000. Louisiana is-to hnve a State Board of Agriculture and Immigration. T'he court-house at Osceola, Fla., is suiTouiuied by vigorous orange trees. They have snow-white partridges in Hamilton County, Fla The North Carolina Board of Health publishes a monthly bulletin Farmers in Berrien, County. Ga., grow mulberry trees for their fruit, for hogs. THE cotton factory nt Tuscaloosa, Fla , is now using eighty-five bales ot cotton per mouth. Tun farmers of Tatnall County, Ga., have invested $15,C00 in mules since the Ist of January. The cotton compress now being erec ted at Atlanta will be tho largest in the world. Tile equestrian statue of Andrew Jackson, by Clark Mills, weighs fifteen tons. It is a time-hosorefi custom in Quincy, Fla , to salute a new-married couple by firing a Cannon. The shipment of peas from Florida be j already ceased for this season on a', count of low prices iu the North The city of Galveston has granted the United ;t ites Government a site for a am.iantine hospital E> tier Morgan, of Georgia, claim# that the Mormon Church is daily gain ing strength aad favor in the South Over 400 miles of the Richmond and Southwestern Railrtiad, a double track narrow guage line, will be located in Virginia. The average progress of the Southern PacificJlailroitd for twenty-five working days pg.! h«“ Been 10,000 feet, or nearly two miles per day. The Clinton Cotton Factory, at Spar tanburg, S. C , has secured stock to the amount of S2OO 000, which is all that is wanted at present. It is estimated by the New Orleans Times that there are now in that city no less than 4,500 buildings waiting occu pants, who are not expected until the business boom in September. Genuine Kentucky blue-grass is ap pearing as a volunteer in Oglethorpe County, Ga. Some farms are being covered with it, and it is rooting out the Bermuda grass. The Louisiana Sugar Planters’ Asso ciation has petitioned the City Council of New Orleans to enlarge the present landing arid sugar sheds, and to abso lutely prohibit the «ale un the landing of all sugars received. It is estimated that mules and other live stock, valued at $109,000, have died in the Ouachita valley section of Louisi ana from a disease produced by the bite of gnats that have lately invaded that section. On the streets of the ancient city of St Augustine, Fla., may be met organ grinders, fortune-tellers, scissor-esharp eners, monkey-shows, piano-tuners, beg gars, lottery soap-sellers, jig dancers, bunko men, yellow dogs and custom house officers. Norfolk Virginian: The appropria tion of $35,000 to erect a quarantine building at Hampton Roads has been practically defeated by the failure on the part of the Legislature to grant the right to the United States to purchase the site for the same. Charlotte (N. C.) Observer: A large-boned countryman stepped into a restaurant in this city the other day, and asked for a thirty-five cent dinner. He ate eleven pieces of shad, aggregat ing three whole fish, at fifty cents apiece, sight biscuits and four cups of coffee, and then innocently inquired if he had eaten his money's worth. Gen. Imboden, who represents a large company of Northern capitalists, has purchased 42,000 acres of land in Scott County, Va., nt fifty-five ccnta per acre. This land ia believed to lie rich in iron ares, and furnaces will be built at once, as wen as a narrow-gauge railroad to con nect with some other line of transporta tion. Increased enterprise and activity are being manifested in the business of cot ton manufacturing in North Carolina. The High Point Manufacturing Com pany will be forced, after this month, tc run their factory day and night, and to increase their capital from $30,000 to $50,000. At Charlotte buildings are being erected for spinning warp and yarns. Six thousand sp'ndles will ly> employed and a capital of $75,000 in vested. In Randolph County two new NO. IG. factories are being built and two others in contemplation. In Alamance a new mill will begin operations during the present month with 5,000 spindles, and arrangements are being made to erect another mill in the same county on Haw River ; one hundred and twenty addi tional looms have been placed in Swep son's factory, and the Concord factorv have discarded their old machinery, sub stituting the largest and best, at the same time increasing its capacity.. Iu Bertie and several other counties the es tablishment of cattoa mgls is looked fol at an early day. '' 1 “* ' fl A Glycerine Barometer. . /y A new ’ glycerine baromefiff hits been invented by Mr. James B. Jordan, of the London Mining Record office, and is beihg tested at Kew. The cistern is a cylindrical vessel of copper lined with tin, five inches deep and ten inches in diameter, fitted witn screwed cover, the air having access through a small hole in the cup attached to the coyer, Which has a recess holding cotton' wool for filtering out the dust. The niain tube, twenty-seven feet long, fs Connected with the cistern by attachment (with a soldered joint) to a projecting piece of tube which enters the cistern through the bottom, aud is fitted at Its opening with a screwed plug. The tube is an ordinary piece of metal gas-pipe five eighths of an inch in diameter, furnished at the top with a gun-metal socket, intd which is cemented a glass tube four feet long, with an inside diameter of one inch, ternijnaling in an open cup, apd fitted witli an Inaia-rubber stopper. 'The fluctuations Os the level of the columns of glycerine are observed and read off on brass scales, placed on either side of the tube and fitted with indices aud verniers moved by mill,heads at the bettom of the scales. One of these ■scales gives the length Os the Column of glycerine, the other corresponding length of a column of mercury. A vaiiation of a tenth of an inch in a mercurial column is shown by a change of more than an inch in the glycerine column, and the latter is therefore expected to show minute variations which are imperceptible in the former. Glycerine absorbs moisture freely when exposed to the air, but this is prevented in the new barometer by covering the exposed surface in the cistern with a layer of heavy petroleum oil specially prepared. The Difference. The steak was cold, the vegetables partly burned, the dessert fla f t and in sipid and Mrs. Hickenlooper was mad all through, as the dinner hour passed by and her husband came not. Pres ently the door-knob turned, and Mr. Hickenlooper stamped into the hall. “ I should think you might be a little more prompt to your meals,” snapped his wife as she glowered on him from the kitchen door. “ Here I’ve slaved and slaved myself all the forenoon, and now the dinner’s all spoiled, just by your laziness. If I couldn’t ” Mr. Hickenlooper held up his hand warningly, and his wife stopped. “ You put me in mind of something,” he remarked. “ That’s what I was trying to do,” she retorted somewhat sarcastically. “ What was it?” “ You remind me of the recent escape of the Czar of Russia,” he explained, as he hung up his coat. “He was late to dinner, too, you remember?” “ More the shame to him,” said Mrs. Hickenlooper, “ but what of it?” “ Why you see,” continued Mr. Hick enlooper, “ the Czar escaped getting blown up, but I didn’t.” Mrs Hickenlooper scratched her chin softly with the handle of her knife, and said nothing, while her busband pro ceeded to gorge himself with burnt cab bage. A Florida Lady. (Orlando (Fla.) Reporter.] One morning a figure was seen dimly amongst the flags and reeds of the dis tant lake shore. Presently we made out that it was a woman. Bhe hailed us, and asked to come aboard to trade. Our small boat, with a gallant gentleman as escort, brought out this specimen of the South Florida lady. She looked abashed as her upturned face caught the glance of a dozen men, who all greeted her with pleasant raillery. They politely lifted her on deck. Her short, scant dress revealed cowhide shoes and ankles innocent of stocking#, and appar ently she wore nothing under her thin calico sacque and skirt. But back in the faded sun-bonnet I saw a cheerful, sun browned face whose smile is, perchance, the radiance of that which most blesses man’s earthly home—woman’s love. She traded her beef hide for coffee and to bacco. About to leave us, she answered to a challenge to be our cook: “I’d like splendid to go ’long and cook tor you, but 1 couldn’t leave the babies.” Recently in advising a young pa tient to take plenty of fresh air, she re marked—“ I suppose it will do if I put my head out of the window.” As this young lady is intelligent on most sub jects it is fair to presume that there are a great many people who imagine that they are as much benefited by sitting in an an open window or by putting the head out of an open window as by taking a walk or a ride. All such thoughtless people should be advised that opening a window into a warm room creates at once a strong draught, and that to sit in a draught is almost sure to produce a cold. As important as fresh air is, one might better avoid it than to take it under such circumstances.— Dr. Foote's Health Monthly. Qcttriiilin, » ' V ■ j’ .1 ■ / . Published Every Thursday at TTEIjT.TO N' , (4EOHGIA satrHAi* A Vtt&Y: ■ RATES OF 'SUBSCRIPTION. . Oneycar (52 months (26 numbers) 50 cants; mottha (23 numbers). 25 cents. < Office in the Smith buildlrig. ea t of the depot. ' PASSING SMILES. :■ ' Under the gaslight—tlie htfrrer. Bound East—the books published in Des ton. The schoolmaster who-sat «>n a bent pin got off a bright thing. If your lamp is heavy a bit of long, narrow paper will made a lamp lighter. The manufacturer "of artificial dia lmond# has solved the gem puztle. The World presents the epitaph for the 'A No. 1 ” Fashionable y >uug men aic like theatre bills. They are posted on the waltz. . - - Pedigree H agreat thing in its way , but alone, it isn’t wortii a cent on the back o| a niuety-day. jujtg. A WAG got how of au editor’s whisk-V pottle apd labeled it, “ To be continued m our lieckfi.” A LOQUACIOUS drunkard can at ale un- IM.-Cil Cliy Derrtek. The young man who get up with thp Mg must up too late with the daughter. * “ Mother, your chi’d tnay have Worms” says an ndvertfiernOnN in alarm ing tone-. LtH filihgb-flriHwg. The bee and’-B>tfte»sirc4 Wo tender he#rte.4 to look ttrxin.-.eofferfEg. They always turp juhen tney A young Tady up town rci'els the do mestic slander that sfiuHr‘*ffft:tiiating.” iWT~ to l| y me something.” Mbs. jnover shall give her twins pair o’ gortp She thinks pne is'efinhgh fo?;t hem. iThasbeeff asseVfet! thfiVNoah was the original drunkard, fiaHif we are not mistaken, Abel whs tiheffikst man to get “slewed.’’4 , H ’/I ,4 .tM The force of the adages ‘j Words are cheap,” isesometimes lost when you go to the telegraph office to scud a cable gram, t ifiw A good many of the promising young men of the times are on y promising to settle their bills, ahd yet “fnere’s noth ing in it.” A MAN will remember a' sore finger much longer than a kind look, but that doesn't prove a sore linger i#uny better than a kind look. Lots of young mon will pre-ent a girl with a $5 bouquqt when her shoes are all run over and she is in sail need of a new pair. The young have no judg ment. The boy with his first watch mani fests an uncontrollable dbsire to note the exact second at which ho meets every person Upon the street. Omaha girls take saw-mills on a breach of promise case.— Free Press. When they loose their lovers, the saw mills become their buzz-’em friends. About two-thirds of a pint of air are inhaled at each breath in ordinary res piration. Then the man who shouts “ Charcoal!” must gulp in about a hogs head of air at each yell. The expression “ Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown” is absurd, because no sensible king ever goes to bed with his crown on. He always hangs it on the back of a chair with his vest.— Addie Boyd. When Jones was upbraided by Mrs. J., who said she was almost frightened to death, in the house all night alcne, Jones very placidly replied, “ Don’t see as I’m to blame for your getting fright ened. Didn’t come within a mile of the house.” “ Before 1 give you an answer,” said Armantha to her lover, who had just proposed for her hand, “ 1 have a secret to impart.” “What is it dearest?” ho asked, pressing his arm around her yielding waist. She blushed and stam mered, “My teeth are false.” “No matter,” he cried heroically, “ I’ll marry you in spite of your teeth 1” Manville (to his widowed friend Chasuble who has views on art): “ Ih it true that you’ve broken off with Sir Henry’s daughter?” Chasuble—“ Alas! yes, 1 was forced to, although she is a charming woman.” Manville— “ Why?” Chasuble—“ Incompatibility of complexion. She does not suit my furniture.” There was a young man ot Podnnk Come home from a party Quite drunk; He atonped in the street, An«l kicked with hisicei It wasn’t a cat, but a (But a—a —what is that word—it wasn’t a cat but a—but a-a-a—an, ha I we have it—) It wasn’t a cat, but a hen. There was a man whose name was Burt, Lived in this vale of ti’iirs, And drove a mule aud ne’er got hurt For more than twenty years. But nature will Itself assert, Os tliat behold the proof, The other day that mule kicked Burt Clear through the stable roof. —Bcnttn Post. Five hundred dollars reward is offered for the return of a dog to Miss Irene Lynch, of New York. The dog had on a collar set with diamonds, and she—meaning the deg was considerd of great account. Our dog is not worth five hundred dollars, but we will bet Mies Lynch the beer that our dog is the longest. The idea of putting diamonds on a dog collar, when people are suffer ing for bread.— Peck's Sun. Two gushing Boston girls werer walk ing one day in the suburbs of the Hub, when they stumbled on a little old fashioned mile-stone, forgotten in the march of improvement. One of them stooped, and parting the grass, dis covered the half-effaced insc iption, “ I. m. from Boston,” upon which she ex claimed ecstatically, “ Here is a grave, perhaps of some young girl, who wished it written on her tomb-tone,‘l’m from Boston.’ How touching! so simple, and no sufficient!"