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Every Thursday at
BELLTON. CrEORGrI.A
RATSS OP SUBSCRIPTION.
One year (52 numbers). $1.00; six mcntl ■
(26 numbers) 50 cents; three months (i«
numbers) 25 cents.
O.fice in the Smith building, ea tof the
depot.
alom; a slope of grass.
BY JOHN PAYNE.
Alonfr a slope of gra>s she came;
And as she walltea, a virgin shame
Lit up her fate’s snow with-Uame.
Full slight and small she was. and bent
Iler little neck shyly, as she went,
In some chikUliac bewilderment.
Gohl was the color of her hair;
The color of her eyes w vair;
The sun shone on her everywhere.
O fair she was as hawthorn flowers!
It seemed the flush of the spring hours
Lay on her cheeks, and summer showers
Had bathed her in a sweet content,
A virginal faint ravishment
(H peace; for with her came a scent *
Os flowers plucked with a childish hand
In some forgotten Uiryhndy.-.
Where all arow the sweet years s 4 and.
-...<■ And all the creatures of the wood
CreoLfnnu then leafy solitude,
And <ouderinfeatcmad b>r stood.
The fawns came to her, nnafrtM,
Ann on ner hnhd thbfr inuzziM laid;
And fluttering birds flew down and staid.
—— ■ ——
THE OSE CEKTAIXTV.
Lightly I hold iuy life, with little dr» ;ui
And little lU’PC for wlut may sprint tt.erefroin,
But live like one that builds his summer’s home
For •« river bed,
And takes no thought for frescoed blue or red
To paint the walls, and plans no golden dome
Knowing the floods, when autumn rains are coyie,
slial|?r<#lt* mtrnißg waters ovjthead.
And'Afrhef’rfon* Tpl my ground anW sow?
Since, though I know not of the day or hour,
The (’ inquerer comes at last, the alien foe
Shall come to my ilvfelTMess place in power.
With force, with arms, with ruinous overthrow,
Taking the goods I gathuredjor his dower.
WHO WAS FOOLED?
“Mother!”
A look of tender expostulation; the
swift moving of agtri lips to a smile.
Two faces almost touched as a pair of
strong arms relieved feeble ones of a
heavy package of books.
“Well, dear,” said the mellow old
voice of Mrs. Maples, addressing her
son, Lynn, “ I thought you had enough
to carry.”
Lynn Maples’ arms might have been
said to be full, for he carried a dry
goods bundle, a, valise, a well-packed
shawl-strap .and an pmbrella; but he
tank quick pos-esaion of the books, and
then, titer ay instant’s evident regret
that he had no arm to ofler his mother,
stepped from the store-door, and turned
to hail a horse-car.
A fair face, That had been turned
steadily toward the two since they
emerged from the store, leaned forward
now into the sunshine, as Annie Loraine,
among the velvet cushions of her phae
ton, followed with her brown, attentive
eyes the movements of mother and son.
“Amusing, watching the crowd some
t m< s,” remarked ah elegant young man
at her side, reconciling himself with
what grace he could to Miss- Loraine’s
inattention.
“ Yes,” she answered, almost inaudi
blv.
The next moment, with a sharp cry,
she hadspruhg from the violet cushions
and was foremost in the gathering ciowd.
Bewildered, and for once shaken out
of his boasted repose of manner, Percy
Dudley followed her.
An aged woman, her beautiful silvery
hair disheveled, her black dress covered
■with dust, had just been lifted from the
ground by a'burly policeman, and was
instantly claimed by a young man.
“Will some one call a carriage?”
cried Lynn Maples, his mother lying
senseless across his breast.
“Take mine! pray, take mine!” the
astonished Dudley heard Miss Loraine
saying.
But before he could get his breath, he
was shouldered one side by Lynn, who
had accepted Miss Ixiraine’s offer with
out a thought, and was only anxious to
get his mother to a place of safety.
He laid her in the deep seat, and sup
ported her with one arm, while Miss
Ixiraine put the lines into his other
hand.
“Turn down this side street—quick
out of the crowd,” she said; “and
leave the phaeton at the St. James Hotel
for Miss Loraine.”
The burly policeman had finished
p’acing his packages and bundles about
his feet, and mechanically Lynn Maples
obeyed the mandate given him by the
silvery voice and sweet brown eyes.
The pretty ponies bore him quickly
from the scene, and through several
quiet streets to his home.
By this time Mrs. Maples had re
gained consciousness, and could descend
from the ’vehicle, with his assistance,,
though much shaken.
In stepping from the sidewalk to take
a horse-car, die had been interrupted by
the passing of a carriage, and stepped
back beneath the horses of another.
Lynn Maples was a blue-eyed, tender
hearted fellow, with nothing remarka
ble about him but his purity of charac
ter and domestic tastes, contrasting
strongly with the habits of the young
men of the day.
Though six-and-twenty, his mother
had hitherto been the sole lady of his
Jove, and she was a little surprised to
hear him exclaim suddenly, out of a
revere, the next day:
■ “ Wasn’t she beautiful?”
“Who, Lynn?”
“Theyoung lady who offered me her
carriage.”
“ TowfOrgM, dear,” placidly, over
her knitting; “ I did not see her.”
And Lynn continued to wonder. He
had left the phaeton at the St. James
Hotel, and the proprietor had assured
him that all would be right. Apparent
ly the episode had closed.
On the contrary, Annie Loraine, a re
markably independent young lady for
o> eof but twentv years of age, had
taken pains to inform herself that Mrs,
The North Georgian.
VOL. 111.
Maplesnvas net seriously injured. She
asked a hundred questions of her in
formant—who chanced to know the
Maples—and learred that they were in
moderate circumstances; perfectly re
spectable; that they lived in a flat in
Hotel Dighton; that Lynn was a dry
goods clerk, and supported his mother
and a young sister.
Percy Dudley stood by chafing.
“It seems to me you are very much
interested in that fellow, Annie!” he
exclaimed at last.
“ I am, I think,” she answered care
lessly.
Dudley looked at her from under a
frowning brow. He, Percy Dudley,
the irresistible, the best match o r the
season, had paid this girl the most un
mistakable attentions for four months,
without the slightest sign of having
made but the most ordinary impression
upon her.
Y’et he continued his suit since there
was not another girl worth one hundred
thousand dollars in his set, nor any
where that he knew of, to be had.
His jealous eye observed that in driv
ing with Miss Loraine, they never
passed the store where Lynn was em
ployed without her turning her glance
toward the entrance; and once, when
bechanced to befillinga lady’s carriage
with bundles, she bowed to him, with a
faint flush upon her lily face.
From that moment Dudley hated
Lynn. Though he did not for a moment
entertain the thought that Miss Loraine
gave him more than a passing approval,
and he could see that the young man
had something noble and attractive in
his air, he was jealeous even of her mere
respect for him.
It was mere accident that the two met
again and again during the winter, at
church, at a fair, in a picture-gallery,
where Miss Loraine offered Lynn the
sweetest courtesy, but it infuriated
Dudley.
“Curse the fellow! I’ll make him cut
his own throat before long!” he mut
tered.
He caught Lynn out, and obtained
an introduction. It was in a concert
room.
“Good many ladies present. By-the
’way, there is Misa Annie Loraine in
front. Do you know her, Mr. Maples?”
* “ 1 .have the pleasure—slightly,” re
plied Lynn, a flush coming into his
frank, blonde face.
“Pretty, eh?”
“Very beautiful, I think. Do you
know where she resides, Mr. Dudley?”
“What, doijtt know! Oh, up town
somewhere!” answered the other, catch
ing at a sudden thought. “So you’don’t
know much about her circumstances?”
“No. Do you?”
“Something,” carelessly. “She’s an ,
orphan. Lives with an aunt. By-the
way, my dear sir, sne seems to know
you better than you do her.”
“She did me a favor last fall, on the
occasion of an accident.”
“Ah! »Well, well, it seems that on
that occasion you took the young lady’s
fanev. In short, she fell in love w-ith
you/'
‘With me?” stammered Lynn, blush
ing furiously. “I am not worthy the
honor.”
“ There is no accounting for women’s
fancy,” burst forth Dudley, savagely.
Lynn was too bewildered to notice
the sneer.
“You are a friend of hers?” he asked
“Oh. yes—an old, an intimate one.
She’s an odd girl—given to unaccount
able fancies, you know. Oh, yes, I
know her well! And my advice to you i
is to strike while the iron is hot, and
ofler yourself to Miss Loraine—that is,
if so inclined yourself.”
“I—l admire her very much!” stam
mered Lynn, trembling with agitation.
“ Yes. certainly; I understand. Well,
she’s going South next week; but she’ll
be at the Parker Fraternity to-morrow
evening. You'd better see her there,
and make a sure thing of it. I’ll give
you my word she’ll accept you.”
“ Thank you ! thank you!” murmured
Lynn, the lights swimming before his
eyfs, and the music fading on his ears.
He cared no longer for the latter. He
got away out of the hall, and spent a
restless night, full of excitement and
’the most exalted emotion. For the
first time he knew that he loved the
lilv-faced, brown-eyed girl.
? Jhe next night found him at the mu
sical entertainment of the Parker Fra
ternity. He was foolish, perhaps, but
not more so than a score of other young
fellows in love. But a more honest, fer
vent fellow never trembled at the touch
< of a woman’s hand.
“You are as fond of music as I am, Mr.
Maples,” she said, with a sweet cordiality
of manner which made her irresistible
to all men who looked at her.
“May I escort you home, Miss Lo
raine? I—l have something to say to
you.”
She gave assent. Her brown eyes
widened slightly with surprise, but she
chose to accent, and, for once, Percy
Dudley gracefully yielded his claims.
She came down into the moonlight,
her rich evening dress over her arm,
her face cool and sweet. Lynn had a
misgiving that he was mad, but he could
not help it. Before they had walked
six blocks and crossed the park, he had
offered himself to Miss Loraine.
She did not speak—her face was quite
white. He felt the little hand on his
arm tremble. But her voice was silvery
clear, when she spoke at last:
“ Mr. Maples, you have known me i
but a comparatively short space of I
time. What has caused you to address .
me like this?”
“My fervent love would not have
given me courage to do so, Miss Ixiraine;
but an old friend of yours—one who
claimed to know you well—assured me
that you were not quite indifferent—•”
BELLTON, BANKS COUNTY. GA., MAY 13, 1880.
His voice failed him.
“ Who was this friend, Mr. Maples?”
“ Mr. Dudley.”
He saw her eyes flash. She stopped
at the foot of a flight of marble steps.
“I am at home now. Will you come
here to morrow and get your answer,
Mr. Maples?”
Her face, gentle and downcast,’did
not tell him enough to bid him hope,
but he could not forbear doing that in
the sight of her lovelimes. He danced
I up at the wide portals, bronzed lions
I and arched casements, thinking, after
I he had bowed and left her, that Annie
Loraine’s aunt must be rich.
Another night of palpitatinghopeand
fear, yet he came with a manly face to
Annie Loraine to learn her answer.
He was a little surprised to find Dud
ley in the room into which he was
ushered. He sat lolling in an easy-chair,
smiling, complaisant, yet with a flushed
face and covert sparkle in his eye.
Miss Loraine rose from the sofa, and
advanced cordially to her visitor, offer
ing her jeweled hand.
“ You have come promptly for your
answer, Mr. Maples,” she said, “and I
will be prompt with you. I accept your
ofler of marriage, and give you, in the
very acceptance, my most sincere affec
tion. Yesterday was the first of April,
and I think it is Mr. Dudley who will
tell us who is the April fool.”
With a cry of rage, and a furious
oath, he sprang to his feet; but Miss
Loraine turned her back on him, and
walked with Lynn into an adjoining
parlor, and he made his exit from the
house without her adieux.
In scheming to make Lynn Maples of
fend the heiress by an ofler of marriage,
he had shot beyond his mark, and, los
ing all hope of Annie Lorr.ineand her
fortune, bitterly repented his trick- of
the first of April.
A Little Riot in Ireland.
[James Red path in the N. Y. Tribune.]
On the morning of my arrival in
Westport, as I walked about the town
I heard the people talking about the
little riot the night before. About 10
o’clock I saw a crowd of women—a
“shower of women,” as a street stock
ing-seller expressed it—mostly bare
footed, all poorly clad—with blue lips
and hungry looks—congregated near
the bridge not far from my hotel. They
were talking excitedly. A detachment
of constabulary stood at the corner op
posite. I went among the idlers an<>
asked the meaning of the crowd, and
learned that a broker had "been buying
up frotatoes in the country round about’
from the farmers, arid had tried to send
them off by rail on the night before;
but that the women rushed on his cart,
and cut open the bags with knives.”
*'Did th“y take them?” I asked.
“ No, sor,” said the man J spoke to.
“ We’ve not got down so far as that,
yet; we don’t want to stale; all that the
women wanted was to stop the potatoes
from going out of the counthry.”
“ But didn’t the man buy the pota
toes?”
“ Oh, yes, sir; but d’ye see, we need
them here badly enough, and if the
Dublin folks hear that we’re sending po
tatoes out of our country, they’d stop
sending us relafe. Ixrok therel”
He pointed out a man who was mend
ing a potato bag in a cart full of them.
About a “stone” of potatoes lay scat
tered on the streets.
“When he found he couldn’t take them
out of town,” said the horse vender,
“he sent for the constabulary, and
they’re here to protect him. But as he
was driving his cart out, a while since,
a boy rushed out and ripped open one
of the bags.”
the potatoes lay in sight oia
hungry crowd, but not a man or woman
went up to gather them. As the cart
moved on, under military escort, a
“ beggar woman ” ran up and began to
pick up the potatoes. Then there was a
rush and the potatoes disappeared.
Starting a Paper.
|Deadwood Pioneer.]
Gue more unfortunate,
HeedlcHN of evil,
Raxhly Importanate,
Gone to the devil.
Why any man, sane or insane, with
a sound body and a chance to cultivate
his neighbor’s watermelon-patch and
smokehouse after night, should ever
want to be an editor is more than we can
tell. It is a conundrum that stumps
us as plumb as a sumac grub does a sore
toe, or as a common sense question does
an average American statesman. As
for us, give us liberty, or give us a re
spectable death with an undistorted
corpse and a good looking girl to kiss
us for our mother.
An editor! Everybody’s pecking
block, scapegoat and sway-backed pack
mule. Ten thousand times one mil
lionth rather let us be a boot-black,
chimney-sweep, penitentiary-bird or
congressman; be mud-clerk on a coal
barge, deck-hand in a tripe factory, en
gineer of a one-donkey-power canal
boat, dairy-maid with an aged ox and
two he-goats as our stock in trade, or
servant gal in a poor house or an orphan
asylum; be a stock-gambler, railroad di
rector, president of a Hiusage machine,
rag vender, charcoal-bawler, governor
or darkey preacher; anything, every
thing but an editor.
And yet there are victims, self-doomed,
ever ready to sacrifice themselves on the
ink smeared altar of endless and thank
less drudgery.
“ Man’s a vapor
Full of woes;
Starts a paper.
Up he goes.’ 4
Returns of an election in Berlin for
member of the Reichstag, give evidence
of a marked decline of the Socialistic
movement.
SOUTHERN NEWS.
Cochran, Ga., is to have a cotton
factory.
Columbus, Gu., is to have a public
bath house.
Twenty-seven vagrants were ar
rested in Raleigh, N. C., in one day.
A jute mill is being established in
New Orleans with a capital of $500,000.
.There are ope hundred and forty
five orphans in the asylum at Oxford,
N. C.
It is estimated that $10,001,000 have
been sent out of Texas this spring for
cow:
A company has been formed at
Barnwell, 8. C., for building c. Greet
railway.
There is not a Hebrew in Coving
ton, Ga., though it has over 1,000 in
habitants.
Large quantities of Western corn
are being sold in Burke and Terrell
Counties, Ga.
The commissions on the sale of tbo
Greenville and Columbia Railroad
amounted to $29,000.
The increase of tax values in Lynch
burg, Va., for the last five years has
been nearly $1,000,000.
The police force of Nashville is nowon
the lookout for vagrants, against whom
the law is to be rigidly enforced.
The Directors Os the South Carolina
Penitentiary propose to supply the city
of Charleston with building stone.
The new code of Mississippi allows
a married woman toconvcy her property
without the consent of her husband/
The cotton worm wil, again be in
vestigated this year by a committee of
the National Government.
The Board of Public Works of Mis
sissippi have decided to lease out the
penitentiary and convicts to the best
bidder.
The subject of building a railroad be
tween Greenville and Laurens Court
house, 8. C., is attracting attention in
both counties.
; The Governor of Arkansas has par
;doned Clement Burchett, who was con
victed of murder in 1870 and sentenced
to the Penitentiary for twenty-one
years.
Tile Goode farm in Bell County,
Texas, contains 4,600 acres, 1,300 in
cultivation, and between thirty and
forty tenant houses. It belongs to E.
N. Goode, who settled there without
capital some twenty-five years ago.
The congregation of the First Metho
dist Church at Atlanta, on the appeal ot
their pastor last Sunday, subscribed
over $17,000 in. about an hour ind .
half, to be expended on the enureb
edifice.
The Chamber of Commerce of Charles
ton has adopted resolutions urging upon
the representatives in Congress from
South Carolina the importance of hav
ing a full appropriation made for the
jetties in the harbor at that city.
The Hon. John T. Harris is confident
that he will get his bill for returning to
Virginia the money advanced to the
General Government in 1812 passed st
this session of Congress.
Tice Lynchburg Manufacturing Com
pany. in Virginia, is manufacturing
sumac in large quantities for use in
tanning, turning out fifteen tons daily
The company designs erecting a papier
mill at Lynchburg at an early day.
“Blind” or “Black” measles is said to
be prevailing at Wadesboro’ and Shoe
Heel, N. C. Persons are attacked with
the disease who had the measles ye irs ago
Ij is a very severe form of measles, and
in several cases has proven fatal.
Considerable excitement has been
caused by the discovery of a vein of
silver in Dickson County, Tenn. The
ore has been assayed and proneunced to
he very rich. A company has been or
ganized with a capital of $25,000 to de
velop the vein.
The Young Men’s Library Associa
tion of Atlanta is thirteen years old, has
8,500 volumes, $6,000 worth of paintings
and other property, and has contracted
for a three story brick building, with
Mansard roof, to cost $21,000. The cur.
rent expenses per annum are $4,000.
Within the past six months more
than 1,000 white people have emigrated
from the neighborhood of Greensboro’,
N. C., to Indiana and the Northwest.
More than that number of colored
people have gone into Georgia and
other Southern States from North Caro
lina.
There has not been a death in the
old family of J. W. Mize, of Sumter
County, Ga., in sixty-three years, and
he has six uncles and three aunts whose
united ages are six hundred and thirty
years. His uncles, his cousins, and his
aunts number, all told, one hundred and
fifty-six, that live in Sumter County.
The City Council of Norfelk, Va.,
hu appointed • ipeflal eommiseloa on
NO. 19.
improving and developing that. city.
Among the subjects discusted at its
meetings are the drainage of tbe city,
the opening of new streets, and the in
ducements that can be offered the Chesa
peake and Ohio Railroad to make its
terminus at Norfolk.
At Men phis, but little is doing in
the way cf building the Custom-house.
By this time two stories should have
been completed, but at present the first
lory has not been even commenced.
The original contractors of the marble
stone work gave up the job and their
bondsmen are making a weak effort to
continue the work with a view of selling
out the contract and saving themselves
from the heavy penalty incurred by
them as bondsmen of the original con
tractors.
Two little sons of Mr. Coker, near
Roswell, Ga., got to fighting, when a
third son tried to part them. The two
that were fighting were respectively
twelve and seven years old. The one
that tried to part them is ten years old.
When he found out that he could not
stop the fight he picked up what he sup
posad was a clod es dirt, but which
proved to be a stone. With this he ran
up to the oldest boy and hit him on the
head for the purpose of stopping the
light, but which resulted in bis death
within two hours.
Sparking on a Leg.
[Vallejo Chronicle.)
Be it known lhat there abideth in the
good city of Vallejo a young, aflable,
handsome, deserving young man who
has, or rather intends to have, for his
affianced an equally handsome and ami
ble young lady of this same burg. Be
it also known that this young lady re
joices in the possesion of a prother, twe
years her senior—one of those frolic
home, good-for-nothing sort of scamps
that sisters most do love and idolize.
Well—this young lady, one evening
last week, had a sort pf gathering/)!
young friends at her papa’s house, at
which music, games and a general good
time were the chief features of the oc
casion. The good for-nothing brother,
of course, •assisted his sister in doing the
honors of the evening, but owing to a
slight headache he lit a cigar, and as
was supposed, took a walk, excusing him
self from the company.
The festivities proceeded until about
twelve o’clock, when a general breaking
up occurred. The company went up
stairs to get their hats, shawls, etc., and
among them, of course, was the young
lover, who lingered about till the com
pany had retired below, and was pre
paring to leave. As the last one de
scended, he took his “ darling’s” hand
in his and tenderly pulled her inside of
a small room over the hall—the bed
room of a good-for-nothing brother. As
a dilatory good-bye had to be said (and
the company below knew it, too), our
hero and heroine sat on the edge of the
bed, in total darkness, and wnispered
the usual soft things that lovers gener
ally whisper on such occasions. They
had gone on in this style for some time
when the “dear one” remarked:
“Harry, they must think it strange
we stay so long. Now let’s go down
stairs.”
“ Only one more, my precious!” he re
sponded, and a series of peculiar sounds
saluted the atmosphere.
“ Now. Harry, don’t 1 What will they
think down stairs?”
“Nevermind what they think, dear
est. Tell me, Mollie, do you really love
me?” and he clasped, or was supposed
to clasp, her affectionately about the
waist.
“ Ever so much, Harry, and you know
it. Come, we must go down.”
“ Bime by, birne by, dear. You know
how much I love to hear you tell me
those sweet words. Do you mean it,
Mollie?”
“ What can I say, Harry, to convince
you? You know all my thoughts, a d
you know that you alone possess my
heart.”
“ Oh, sweet, delicious words. lam
fairly Intoxicated with joy, Mollie
dear.”
“I believe you, my boy; but when
you get through with that d—d non
sense, Ihope you'll get off oj my leg and
clear out of this, ’cause I want to go to
sleep!'’
The brother had spoken 1 The young
rascal had been in bed for an hour, and
the lovers had actually been sitting on
his leg making the most desperate sort
of love. The twain precipitately de
scended, looking aboutas sheepish as two
mortals could. The next morning the
young lady did not appear at the break
ast table. No one could divine the
reason but the good-for-nothing brother,
but he held his peace till dinner time,
when he broke out with—
“ Sis, the next time you get sparking
vour feller, just select some other man's
leg to do it upon, if you please, for mine
isn’t through aching yet!”
He submitted to several good-natured
thumps, but he assured his sister that
hereafter, whenever “ her Harry ” came
to see her, he would see that his bedroom
was locked.
“ Twelve handkerchiefs make a dress
pattern,” is the freshest addition to the
arithmetic of the period. The hand
kerchiefs in question are of Khyber
cloth, which is the gazeline of last sum
mer, a fine, soft bunting in blue, garnet,
wood color and olive. The borders are
clustered cords and the suits are made
sometimes with the basque, overskirt,
and underskirt, and again, with gathered
flounces on a skirt fastened to a surplice
waist,
oftl| Cveorgmp,
PUBLISHED EVJ?RY THURSDAY
BBLLTON, GA.
I
BY JOHN BLATS.
Terms—fl.OJ per annum ; 50 cents for six
months; 25cents forthree months.
Parties away from Bellton are requested
to send their names with such amounts of
money as they can pare, from 25c. to sl.
PASSING SMILES.
The latest agony—toothache at three
a. m.
A mhsfitting coat is a lie out o the
whole cloth.
How long does a widower mourn for
his wife? For a second.
The cause of woman suffrage moves
slowly—but it moves.
The hen knows the mari who robs her
nest. She is always laying for him.
A dog which won’t run from an ele
phant will break hie back to get away
from an oyster can.
A queer old hen declined an invita
tion to a gander party recently, for the
reason that the ganders did not belong
to her set.
An exchange speaks of the “ reboom
itizatioa.” The fine for. shooting the
English language full of holes has got
to be increased.
Trying to do business without adver
tising is like winking at ; a girl in the
’dark. You may know what you are
doing, but nobody else does.
A rich and eccentric Parisian has
concluded a search for some new pleas
ure by establishing a private circus for
the amusement of himself and friends.
A man who offered for $5 to put any
one on the track of a paying investment
seated an applicant between the rails of
the Boston and Albany Railroad.
Come here, loving wife <>f mine,
Sit on my knee, my dear,
And sew this collar-button on
Before I bust your ear.
Three day s after a baby is born every
body says, “ Ketchetty, ketchetty,”
and digs its ribs with a forefinger.
Hence the prevalence of ill-temper in
adults.
A Michigan boy committed suicide
because his mother scolded him for
smoking. It’s cheerful to remember
that there is another world where every
body smokes'.
Worth makes the man,.but it takes a
wheelwright to make the felloe. — Hack
insack Republican. Spoke in like a gen
tleman. How proud your wife must be
of her “hub!”
Just bear this truth in mind boys,
and ponder at your will; It’s better to
owe your tailor forever than beat him
out of his bill. And that’s what the
boys are doing. .
“ Phat will ye do, Dennis, a vic, when
the Chinase go? Will ye wurrak?”
“ Wurrak, is it? The divil a wurrak,
when I can get enufl omadhauns to pay
me for howling.”
A German traveler in Africa char
acterizes a people he came across as “in
tensely black, dolichocephalic, and pla
tyrhine, prognathous, dichotomatic and
dolichodoctylic.”
Keenness of taste is a great thing. A
Buffalo man who drank a glass of
whisky in Albany said he thought there
was no trouble with the liquor, but that
there had been water in the tumbler.
An Illinois man, after living six
months in a house, found a bag of dead
rats in a clothes-press. He thought the
smell came from a green-house a few
doors away.
It’s easy! By reversing a dog, we
make a god! By reversing a rat, we
make a tar! By reversine a pot, we
make a top! But, show us the man who
does not get mad when there is a dam to
be reversed.
A junior was heard to remark on a
recent Sunday, after Professor had
preached an eloquent sermon; “ That
was a splendid sermon. Gad! A hun
dred and eight single gestures and thir
teen double!”
“ Annetta, I am going to have com
panv,” says a belle of the Rue Breda to
her maid, “and I want you to go to the
fish market and get some fish, some of
the bast.” “Yes’m.” “Only don’t buy
them from ma —she’ll swindle you.”
Mother, Ir my chignon jierfect?
Sha|>e uiy |>anicr—fix iny wish—
Johnny’s coining in the gloaming,
And I want to make a mash.
Ottawa Republican.
He sat beside her on an old »ofa, and
one of the wire coils shot up through
the covering, punctured his garments,
and went in among the nerves and
things. She thought he was becoming
insane when he jumped six feet into the
invisible ether and yelled “ the spring
has come, by Jove 1”
A young actress urges her friend,
Count X., to give her a splendid brace,
let she had long set her mind upon pos
sessing. •“ I’ll give it to you,” says the
Count, finally, “ but onfene condition —
you must never wear it on the stage.
My wife might see it if you did.” “Oh,
I see —and raise a row?” “No; make
me buy her one like it.”
Healthy Property of Onions.
The healthy property of onions have
never been fully understood. Lung ard
liver complaints are certainly benefited,
often cured, by a free consumption of
onions, either cooked or raw. Colds
yield to them like magic. Don’t be
afraid of them. Taken at night, all of
fense will be gone by morning, and the
good effects will amply compensate for
the trifling annoyance. Taken regu
larly, they promote the health of the
lungs digestive organs. An
extract made by boiling down the juice
of onions to a syrup, and taken as a
medicine, answers the purpose very
well, but fried, roasted or boiled onions
are better. Onions are a very cheap
medicine, within everybody’s reach, and
they are not by any means as “bad to
take” as the costly nostrums a neglect
of their use may necessitate.
The Oil City Derrick informs an in
quisitive correspondent that cremation
is • recently adopted method of firing
pecplß QUt es thia world.