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PUBLISHED EVERY THURSDA
BEIiTON, GEA..
BY JOHN BLATS.
Terms— sl.ou per annum 50 cents for sis
fiionuis; 26 cents forthree months.
rartie* away from Bellton aie requested
to send their names with such amounts of
money a> toey can pa re, 2cc. *o |1
OUR YOUNG FOLKS.
THE GiiAMHOPPER OF THE ROT AL
EXCHANGE.
What are grasshoppers good fort
Child, oome listen to me,
An-i I’ll tell you about a grasshopper
That hops th history.
You have read of,mighty London—
Its wonderful sights and strange —
Its Castle, Abbey, and grand St. Paul’s
T<»wer and Royal Exchange.
Well, on the topmost pinnacle
Os the Exchange appears
A monster gra&<ho|>|>er weathercock
That has hupped three hundred years.
A woman once left a baby
In a summer field to die,
With a merry grasshopper chirping near
With its noisy revelry.
A happy-hearted schoolboy
Listened as he skipped by;
An’d, running to catch the grasshopper
He heard the baby cry.
Oh, ’twas a royal moment
For the sorrowing stranger there;
The buy the little one carried home
To a mother’s loving care.
The baby grew up to manhood,
A manhood strong**nd great;
He was a true and noble knight
In the service of the state.
And when the royal building
* as founded in his naiue,
He lifted the humble grasshopper
To its pinnacle of fame.
There, through the long, long centuries,
By breeze or teiupeat shaken,
It tells, “G<xl heard the voice of the lad
By human love forsaken!”
The Wild Bell-Ringer and a Brave Boy.
Aquasco is such an out-of-the-way
town that no doubt many of the children
never have heard of it before. It is in
the State of Maryland, and stands on a
little hill near the mouth of Patuxent
River. In the summer time no girl or
boy of Aquasco need go to the seashore,
for salt water flows at their feet and the
same salt breeze that sweeps fleet after
fleet of white-sailed ships up and down
the Chesapeake Bay blows in the
windows of the houses in Aquasco. The
good people of Aquasco go to bod so
s<x>n after supper that the whippoor-will
cries and complains without one person
to pity him, and the grunt of the bull
frog is the only voice that answers the
whirr and ring of the clocks when they
strike twelve, midnight.
Bo it was that when in the middle of
the night of the 25th of last June, Cyrus
Wallace, an Aquasco boy, heard the
church bell ringing, he sprang out of
bed and ran barefooted into the street.
As he reached the gate he saw men run
ning by at the top of their speed.
‘“What's the mutter?” shouted Cyrus,
to bnfe of the flying figures.
“A fire, I guess,” said the man.
“ Fire, fire, fire !” shrieked Cyrus, as
he ran after the others, and in a few
minutes the whole town of Aquasco was
aroused. Everybody was in the street
and everybody was hurrying towards the
church. Women seized water buckets
and children gathered up pails. Aquasco
had been very still five minutes before,
but now Aquasco was beside itself with
excitement
But where was tl\e fire ? The first
man who reached the church put lur
hands to his mouth and hallooed to the
top of the bell tower, where the bell was
still clanging away. The second man
did the same and the third called aloud
and so did the fourth. Not a word would
the person in the bell-tower answer,
though he rang and rang, until all
Aquasco gathered on the grass below.
“The door of the steeple is locked !”
said one of the men. “Nobody under
stands it.”
“ Maybe some rascal got locked in
there yesterday and fell asleep,” said
Mr. Rankin the Constable.
“No, no,” replied Mr. Westcoat, the
sexton of the church, “I was up there
in the afternoon, and there wasn’t any
body in the tower; it’s a spirit of a gob
lin, that’s what it is!” and Mr. Westcoat
shook his head, while some of the chil
dren huddled together and hold their
breath.
“It’s old Tappan’s ghost.,” con
tinued Mr. Westcoat. “Tappan was
sexton before I was, and he rang that
bell up there for twenty years. He's
come back.”
Cyrus laughed when he heard the sex
ton say such things. Cyrus knew very
well that only cowards believed in ghosts.
He was afraid of big dogs and drunken
men, but common sense told him that
there was no such tiring as a ghost or
creature of the dark of any kind.
“Give me the keys,” said a man to the
sexton. “ I’ll go up and stop that ring
ing.” The sexton fumbled in his pocket
only to find that he had left the keys at
house, a half mile away. Glad enough
to get away from the haunted church,
the sexton started home after the keys.
Meanwhile the bell still rang. Every
now and then the strokes would be faint,
but the next instant would’come a loud
clang, as though the old l>ell didn’t like
such mysterious work a bit. The wind
was blowing stiffly in the tops of the tall
oak trees, but all knew that the wind
could not ring the bell because of the
lattice-work around the belfry. While
the people were whispering together
around the church, Cyrus was busy look
ing for away to get into the lielfry be
fore the sexton should return with the
keys. He knew that there was a little
round window, just large enough for him
to crawl through, some distance up the
side of the tower, and when he at last
got a ladder that reached to this little
window he stepped boldly up the rounds.
“I’ll bring ghost before Mr.
Westcoat gets back,” laughed Cyrus,
and the people could see him by the dim
starlight as he put his head through the
window and disappeared.
Cyrus found himself in a queer place.
It was so dark in the belfry that he
couldn’t see where to move. He groped
from one step to another, going up the
lielfry stairs slowly, while the sound
from the bell above seemed to crash
The North Georgian.
vol. in.
down from alwve with ten-fold clangor.
He reached the crank which the sexton
turned when ringing the bell. No one
was there.
“Hello ! ho, there, ho!” shouted Cyrus
directly into the bell’s throat But the
bell’s roar drowned his words. He
climbed still higher, and soon sat among
the rafters above the bell. He reached
down and felt the air around the bell.
His hand struck something. “ Oh!”
thought Cyrus. He felt the something
and found that it was the limb of a tree.
Following the limb with his hand, he
found that the limb had thrust itself
through a big hole in the lattice-work.
Every time the tall tree on the outside
rocked, this limb moved quickly forward
and withdrew again. Cyrus laughed.
He had found the ghost, for he knew that
the end of the limb had caught the clap
per of the bell, and so that every time
the tree was rooked by the wind the
clapper struck. He caught the limb
with both hands and gave it a hard,
strong pull. The limb bent and the bell
stopped ringing.
In the mean time the people were
waiting anxiously below. As soon as the
l>ell stopped Cyrus put his mouth to the
hole in the lattice, and called ont that it
was all right. The sexton soon arrived with
the keys, and taking a hatchet, Cyrus
chopped the bothersome limb in two.
The people of Aquasco went to bed, and
many laughed at the sexton’s ghost. On
the following day a great number visited
the belfry to see the curious bell-ringer.
It was found that an army of flying
squirrels had cut the hole in the lattice
work, and that the wind had forced the
limb of the neighboring oak through the
opening. A little prong near the end of
the limb had caught the clapper near its
point, and so the wind made its novel
bell-ringer.— Philadelphia Time*.
cook until the edges curl. Have heated
a teacupful of sweet cream or as rich
milk as you can get, turn into the tureen,
pour in the oysters and serve.
Favbb Beans.—Boil some white beans
until quite dry and tender. Into a four
quart baking dish put an inch layer of
the beans, seasoned with pepper and
salt, strew over minced bits of salt pork,
cover with a layer of raw oysters,
sprinkle with powdered cracker crumbs
and bits of butter and cover with another
layer of beans, thus alternating until the
dish is almost full. The beans should
make the last layer. Pour over a pint,
or more, if the beans were very dry, of
oyster liquor, cover and bake half an
hour, removing the cover toward the last
that the top may brown.
Chutney.—One pound salt, one pound
mustard-seed, one pound stoned raisins
one pound brown sugar, twelve ounces
garlic, six ounces cayenne pepper, two
quarts unripe gooseberries, two quarts
best vinegar; the mustard-seed gently
dried and bruised; sugar made into
syrup with pint of vinegar; gooseberries
dried, and boiled in a quart of the vine
gar ; the garlic to be well bruised in a
mortar ; when cold, gradually mix the
whole in a large mortar, and with the re
maining vinegar thoroughly amalgamate
them. To be tied down close; the longer
kept the better.
Dueling in Florida.
The bowie-knife was a favorite weapon
with the Floridians. Only “dead
game ” men could stand before this ter
rible weapon. The usual method of
fighting with knives was to clasp the
left hands of the combatants together
and put very keen, broad knives in their
hamis; the seconds then stood within
reach of the men, to interfere with a
pistol ball if either combatant violated
the rules of the fight. There were
many affairs with bowie-knives in the
ante-bellum days of Florida. One of
the most noted was a meeting between
Maj. Jim Jones and Col. Grinard, a
Frenchman. The bowie in this case
seems to have been a compromise be
tween the sword of the Frenchman and
the pistol of • the Floridian. The duel
was fought in 1852. It was very bloody,
both men being gashed fearfully, and
Jones was finally cut into slices across
his breast and killed outright. It is
said that this duel was remarkable for
having been fought in utter silence.
Though the knives slipped in and out
of the bodies of each man neither said 9
word. With their lips clenched and
their teeth set like a vise they fought in
silence. Not a sound came from the
mouth of either, and when at last Jones
fell in death Grinard turned, and, wip
ing the blood from his face, spoke for
the first time, addressing his second.
Preserving Timber in Ground.
In speaking of the well-known methods
of preserving posts and wood which are
partly imbedded in the earth, by char
ring and coating with tar, it is said these
methods are only effective when both are
applied. Should the poles only be char
red without the subsequent treatment
with tar, the charcoal formation on the
surface would only act as an absorber of
the moisture, and, if anything, only
hasten the decay. By applying a coat
ing of tar without previously charring,
the tar would only form a casing about
the wood, nor would it penetrate to the
depth which the absorbing properties of
the charcoal surface would insure.
Wood that is exposed to the action of
water or let into the ground should first
be charred, and then, before it has en
tirely cooled, be treated with tar till the
wood is thoroughly impregnated. The
acetic acid and oils contained in the tar
are evaporated by the heat, and only the
resin left behind, which penetrates the
pores of the wood and forms an air-tight
and waterproof envelope. It is important
to impregnate the poles a little above the
line of exposure, for here it is that the
action of decay affects the wood first,
and where the break always occurs
when removed from the earth or strained
in testing.
BELLTON, BANKS COUNTY, GA., OCTOBER 28, 1880.
SOUTHERN NEWS.
Gen. F. Akers has been re-appointed Fish
Commissioner for Middle Tennessee.
Rome, Ga., had but five bar-rooms three
years ago, while it now has twenty-one.
A seventy-acre field near Norcross, Ga.,
yielded seventy bales of cotton this ye;r.
A nugget of gold weighing two and a half
pounds has been taken out of the Christian
mine, in North Carolina.
Forty thousand dollars have been subscrib
ed for a grain elevator in Richmond, Va.
The amount needed is $60,000.
The last grand jury impaneled in Claren
don county, S. C., included four colored men,
all of whom could read and write.
The cotton oil works of Eufaula have been
completed. They have 7,000 bushels of cot
ton seed on hand with which to start opera
tions.
There are in Georgia 88,522 colored men
who own, by the tax receiver’s returns for
their respective counties, 551,199 acres of
land.
In Dodge county, Ga., a Mrs. Wright has
made twenty yards of silk, having herself
raised the trees, attended the worms and
woven the silk into cloth.
The receipts of the North Carolina colored
State Fair, recently held in Raleigh, were
something over $2,000. The expenses of all
kinds, including premiums, will fall rather
short of $1,500.
Edward L. Strohecker, aged thirty years,
son of a prominent physician in Macon, Ga.,
was found unconscious on the sidewalk, on
IJroadway, New York, suffering from poison
ing from using opium cigarettes.
Mrs. Annie Perkins, the oldest inhabitant
of Danville, Va., was buried last week. She
was 104 jears of age, and was the mother of
Rev. Wm. Perkins, a Baptist minister, of the
old “hard-shell” denomination.
There are in Chatham county, (>»., includ
ing the city of Savannah, 10,917 school child
ren, of whom only 4,031 are white. The de
partments of modern languages and calis
thenics have been abolished in the schools
of Savannah.
Vicksburg is making a movement toward
improving her street’, but the new blocks of
the Nicholson pavement are being laid on the
snme planks that have rested under the old
pavement Tor ten year , and the improve
ment wifi hardly be permanent.
At Henderson, Texas, a farmer named J.
A. Tinkle was shot dead by a negro boy who
had been in his employ several years. Mr.
Tinkle had just sold his cotton for SIOO, and
the negro secured this money mid escaped
before bis crime was discovered.
Two biles of cotton from Harris county,
Ga., were received at Columbus a few days
ago, which were ginned and packed twenty
three years ago. The bagging and rope are
in good order. The cotton was sold and
brought nine cents per pound for one and
ten cents for the other.
Vicksburg Herald: What this town and
county wants just now is labor—good, indus
trious labor and plenty of it. Negroes have
become so trifling that they can’t be utilized
any more. Just think of a common rooster
demanding a salary of $l9O per month and
his board for rolling cotton.
A correspondent writes from Amelia coun
ty, Va., that twenty-five cents is the usual
price for baptising converts in that section,
and adds: “Several colored Baptist preachers
in this county charged fifty cents a head for
baptising; but, of late, one of them has
agreed to do it for twenty-five cents cash,
and now all have come down to that.”
W. E. Hidden, the mineralogist, who was
in North Carolina last year in search of
platinum, to supply Edison’s electric light,
is again in the western part of the State. He
is now looking principally for chromate of
iron, which is being usedin the manufacture
of the finer kinds of paints, and in dyeing
and calico printing.
A horned snake is kept as a curiosity by
H. C. Gregory, at his residence in Mansboro,
Vft. It is about three feet long and has a
horn on the end of the tail, about one and, a
half inches in length, a little bent and resem
bling very much the spur of a rooster. The
snake uses the horn as a weapon, which is
said to be very deadly. Even trees are said
to have been killed by its blow.
Tarboro, North Carolina, has a colored
woman who was raised as a boy; does not rec
ollect when she began to wear male clothing;
still dresses and acts like a man ; does a man’s
work and bears a man’s name. She has an
aversion to being with women or doing their
kind of work, and says she would go to the
penitentiary before she would wear a bonnet.
She is a mother, but not at all motherly, and
her child calls her papa.
In Georgia the number of children enrolled
in the public schools of the State has risen
from 19,755 iu 1873 to 62,330 in 1877, the last
year covered by the State School Commis
sioner’s report. The number of colored
children in attendance at the pub ic schools
has more than doubled in the last five years.
The State makes the same appropriation for
the colored State University that it does far
the white. Georgia requires a poll-tax from
all voters, and returns show that in 1879 the
number of colored men who paid this tax
was 8 ,522, and these tax-payers ownud 541,-
199 acres. 11 other words, from one-half to
two-thirds of the adult male negroes are tax
payers and property-holders.
A young man named Noftainger was hanged
at Gainesville, Texas, a few months since,
for the murder of a mau named Kline. The
evidence showed that th « murder was com
mitted on a warm summer night, while Kline
and his wife were sleeping out on the perch,
his head being blown to atoms with a shot,
gun. The widow of the murdered man was
recently confined with twins, thought she was
going to die, and confessed that she prepared
the pallet on the porch for the deed to be
committed, and was not beside him as was
believed, but had arisen while her husband
was asleep that the assassins might do their
work. She says the shot was fired by one
Gardner, but he was seconded by Noftainger.
The Utter was her lover before her marriage
to Kline. The woman is recovering and
will probably get well.
The monument erection in commemtnora
tiou of the battle of King’s-Mountain is a gran
ite shaft measuring twenty-six feet in height
and eighteen feet at the base, a shapely fig"
ure whose smooth outlines contrast pleasant
ly with the jagged edges of the surrounding
rocks. The design was gotten up by a com
mi'tee appointed especially for the purpose,
and con-ists of a shaft resting on a broad
pedestal composed of five steps, and slopes
to the top which is about two and a half feet
square. It was originally intended to sur
mount the whole with a bronze figure of a
soldier in an attitude of expectancy, loading
a rifle of the flint and steel variety in use
during the Colonial period, but the present
condition of the association’s funds would
not permit of the purchase of the statute,
and in lieu of thia, the monument has been
surmounted by a pyramid shaped stone.
The inscriptions are written on marble slabs
imbedded two inches in the granite masonry.
Seven Troys.
Tlie famous archseologut, Schliemann,
wrote from Athens to a Russian paper,
ns fallows : “ I have just returned from
Asia Minor, where I have at last finished
that digging out of Troy which I began
in 1870. During ten years I have strug
gled with great difficulties, among whicn
the most troublesome has been the large
amount of debris under which the an
cient city whs buried. It has been neces
sary to dig down and dig up the ground
for more than sixteen yards below the
surface. But I am fully recompensed
for all my trouble. I found the remains
of cities; the last of them
was the Ilion of Homer. That city was
built by the JEolians, banished from
Greece by the Dorians in the eleventh
century before our era. In one of the
buried cities I found many statues of
Minerva with the owl’s head, whence
her name of Glaucopis. In another city
were found many images of the di
vinities. But the most interesting
and important of all the discov
eries is, of course, the city of King
Priam. Every article found in the ruins
of that city bears unmistakable signs of
having been destroyed by fire and in
time of war. There were discovered
many remains of human bodies in full
armor. I dug out and cleared away the
debris from the entire wall that sur
rounded the city, and also from all the
principal buildings. Now lam finishing
a large volume in English describing
with full details all my discoveries, and
containing 200 illustrations of the
most important of the discoveries.
My Trojan collection is now in Rondon,
but at the end of this year I shall take
it to my villa in Athens, which is fire
proof, built only of marble and iron. I
have received large offers for my collec
tion from the United States, England,
France and Germany, but I cannot part
with it for any money in the world.”
Tributes of Audiences to Actors.
Fruits, as well as flowers, now figure
among the tributes proffered by London
audiences to favorite actresses. To most
of them, this is, no doubt, an agreeable
innovation. A basket of luscious Bartlete
or Oldmixons, if less poetical, is certain
ly a much more practical present than
the rarest bunch of camellias or jacque
minots.
These theatrical offerings vary curious
ly in different parts of the world. In
Spain a favorite matailor is ovewhelmed
with showers of the men’s cigars and the
ladies’ gloves and fans. On our Western
coast the hardy miner testifies his de
light in a popular actor or actress by
flinging gold pieces on the stage.
A stul more singlar or much less agree
able sort of compliment was once paid
to Tom Playside in New Orleans. At the
end of a much applauded scene, when
“bravoe” rent the air and flowers were
falling thick around him, a carpenter’s
broad chisel sped whizzing from the
“flat” a few inches from his head. The
offender was speedily discovered and
brought before the indignant actor.
“What have I ever done to you,” he
said, “that you should attempt my
life?” “Attempt your life, Mr. Play
side I” cried the honest fellow, with tears
in his eyes, “I never dreamt of such a
thing. But they was all throwin’ you
things, Mr. Playside, and I hadn’t noth
in’ but my old chisel to show how I
liked ye, Mr. Playside, and so I throwed
yer that.” “AH right,” said the actor,
laughing, “here’s your chisel, but next
time let me take your liking for
granted.”— New York Hour.
Too High.
At a camp-meeting last summer a
venerable sister began the hymn :
Mysoul, be on thy guard;
Ten thousand foes arise.
She began too high. “ Ten thousand I”
she screeched, and stopped. “Start
her at five thousand I” cned a converted
stock-broker present.
Spoiling Women’s Names.
Many, if not a majority, of the names
of 800 or 900 girls from the public
schools examined for admission to the
normal college gives us the impression
that they belong to mere household pets
rather than to young women who are ap
proaching maturity, and who are en
gaged in serious work. These girls ap
parently prefer the nicknames by which
they are known in the family circle and
to intimate friends, and therefore take
pains to adopt them in their signatures.
In so doing, the public school girls are
not exceptional among our young wo
men, for it is quite the fashion now-a
days for them to grow so enamoured of
their nursery appellations that they cling
to them as their fixed and proper names.
They may even be offended when they
are addressed by their correct names,
which they imagine less pretty than
these pet diminutives; and some grave,
grown-up women will put Hattie or
Gtusie, Mamie or Sallie on their cords
as if they were in pinafores still.
The fashion is American; but our pa
triotism can not make us grow fond of
it. The nicknames which appear in so
large a share of these public school girl’s
signatures would do very well for pets at
a dog-show. When they are Used to ex
press the affectionate regard of near
friends and relatives, they also may be
pretty and appropriate, but they look
very silly in a formal signature, and
surely do not befit the dignity of woman
hood.
We find, for instance, among these
800 names scores of Minnies or Mamies,
and only here and there a Mary, a much
more euphonious and dignified name.
Jane is transformed usually into Jenny
Caroline into Carrie, Ellen to Ella,
Elizabeth into Lizzie and Bessie, Kath
erine into Katie, Martha into Mattie,
Margaret into Maggie, Anne and Anna
into Annie, and Harriet into Hattie.
Such absurb names as these appear quite
frequently: Chattie, Lillie, Millie, Til
lie, Kittie, Rosie, Nettie, Bibbie, Aggie
and Maggie.
The great aim seems to be to manufac
ture a name which ends in io, and in ac
complishing it the finest appellations for
women who have names renowned in po
etry and history, and of a sweet and mo
lodious sound, are chopjied up into child
ish diminutives. They convey an idea
of pettiness, and do not belong to girls of
dignity and character—girls like those
who are going to the- normal college, so
many of whom will have their living to
earn. And yet these girls think it is
pretty to be known by such i>«t names,
and so discard, as ugly and old-fasliioned,
the names by which they are christened.
What would they think to see a college
register which give the young men’s
names as Jimmie, Billie, Bobbie, Tom
mie, Charlie, Samie and Dickie.
This fashion is extending among wo
men, and girls are even named with nick
names only, ns if they were always to be
nothing more than nursery pete. And
yet this is a period when women are con
tending for higher consideration as ra
tional beings, and when the range of
their occultations outside of the domestic
circle is constantly widening and grow
ing in importance.— N. Y. Sun.
Early Steaniboating on the Hudson.
The Albany Argus has an article on
Hudson river boating of early days. It
says :
“Opposition” in the earlier days
meant a great deal more than at pres
ent. The Captains and pilots of the
different lines of boats mode it a point
of duty to interfere with the business of
their opponents in every possible man
ner, and the feelings of passengers were
frequently enlisted in behalf of the ves
sel they chanced to be on. Many sto
ries ore told of boats running into each
other, of pilots exchanging pistol-shots,
and of other like encounters on the river
between opposition boats and their
crews. One of these, occurring in Sep
tember, 1835, is related in the Argus of
the 22d of that month. While the
North America was preparing to land its
passengers at Coxsackie, the Emerald
came along and collided with her, but so
lightly as to do little damage. After the
boats had left Coxsackie, however, and
while, as the officers of the North Amer
ica assert, she was pursuing her course
quietly, the Emerald started directlv
across the river toward her. She struck
the North America’s wheelhouse with
her larboard bow, carrying away side
house, railing, boat-cranks, etc. The
Emerald’s wheel passed over the North
America’s small boat, which was lowered
down, and stove it to atoms. Aa the
North America slowly cleared from the
Emerald, the Emerald raked her whole
side, from the wheel-house aft. Im
mediately after she cleared a cheer was
started at the wheel-house of the Emer
ald and responded to by her passengers.
The Directors of the North America
Steamboat Company assert that they
had in their possession a certificate of a
person on board the Emerald who heard
the Captain and pilot agree to run into
the North America and do her all the
injury they could, and that in the ful
fillment of this agreement the boat was
steered directly across the river so as to
strike the North America, and the pas
sengers were requested to go to the star
board side so as to put the Emerald in a
position to do as great injury as possible.
Thb scales of the red fish, famous in
New Orleans markets, are carefully pre
served and sold at about 88 per bushel,
being in great demand by the fabricat
ors of ornaments for wreaths and arti
ficial flowers for ladies’ bonnets, and for
various other purposes of fashionable
use and ornament. From a fish of six
or eight pounds the scales are as large
as a quarter of a dollar. They are so
hard and firmly planted that the scaling
process has to be performed with an ax
or hatchet.
PuBUSHKD ETKRT ThUBSDAY AT
BELLTON, GEORG-IA,
urn or svasaiupTior.
O«e year (M numbers), sl.o®; six wmths
numbers) 50 oeutt; three mosth*
number*), 26 sent*.
Office in the Smith building, east es the
depot.
NO. 43
PITH AND POINT.
Thb most popular cure among poli
ticians—The sine-cure. •
The first American inscription put up
on the obelisk will be, “ Post no Bills.”
“ Hb sleeps where he fell,” says a late
ballad, which suggests that he must
have been drunk.
What a beautiful thing is a rosy
cheek I How great the contrast when
the blush settles on the nose.
Hubband—“ Mary, my love, this ap
ple-dumpling is not half done.” Wife—
“ Well, finisn it, then, my dear.”
It was a yonng housekeeper who set
the cake she had baked for a picnic out
of door one cold night to be frosted.
“Bridget, the dust upon the furni
ture is intolerable. What shall Ido ? ”
“ Do as Ido, marm—pay no attention to
it.”
It’s a poor rule that won’t work both
ways. A Milwaukee girl married a bar
ber, and he turned out to be a rich Baron
in disguisp.
A modbbn novel has this thrilling pas
sage: “With one hand he held her beau
tiful golden head above the chilling wave,
and with the other called loudly for as
sistance.”
A young lady wrote some verses for a
paper about her birthday, and headed
them “ May 80th.” It almost made her
hair turn gray when it appeared in print
“My 30th.”
Thb average life of a fanner is sixty
six years. At sixty-five he may safely
begin to return borrowed tools, pay old
debts and ask forgiveness for cheating in
horse trades.
“Is youb cough any easier?” said
one of poor Hood’s acquaintances, on
calling to see how he was. “It should
be,” said thtf wit from his pillow, “ I’ve
been practicing all night.”
Thb negro’s definition of bigotry is as
good and inclusive as that of Webster’s
Dictionary. “A bigot I" said he; “why
he’s a man who knows too much for one,
and not quite enough for two.”
At a celebration back in the country
a female arose and began: “ This is
our 104th anniversary.” A wicked young
man back in the crowd yelled out:
“ Good gracious! You don’t look that
old.”
Son—“ Father, the lecturer at the
hall to-night said that lunar rays were
only concentrated luminosity of the
earth’s satellite. What do you think
about it?” InfiJJHent parent—“ All
moonshine, my son, all moonshine.”
Miss Fdibtington—“Yes, I like the
place very much, Major; yon have such
a jolly set of men down here.” The Ma
jor—“Yes, awfully jolly. You’d better
steel your heart, Miss Flirtington, in
case of accidents.” Miss F.—“ Well,
while I’m about it, Major, I’d rather
steal somebody else’s, don’t you know ?”
A tendzb young potato bug
Sat swinging on a vine,
And sighed unto a maiden bug:
“ I pray you will be mine.”
Then softly spake the maiden bug:
“ I love you fond and true,
But O, my cruel-hearted Par
Won’t let me marry you.”
With scorn upon his buggy brow,
With glances cold and keen.
That haughty lover answered her:
“I think your Par is-green.”
“Ah l” said Gilhooly, yesterday
morning, “I’ve done one good act.’’
“Sent a barrel of flour to the poor
house?” “Better than that. Fve just
told De Smith, who don’t stand a ghost
of a show, that he will be nominated by
acclamation.” “Well, that is one .of
those kindnesses that do a great deal of
good and don’t cost anything.” “The
mischief it don’t cost anything I I bor
rowed 82 from him on the strength of
it.”— Galveston News.
A dootob, being out for a day’s shoot
ing, took an errand boy to carry the
game-bag. Entering a field of turnips,
the dog pointed, and the boy, over
joyed at the prospect of his master’s
success, exclaimed: “Lor, master,
there’s a covey ; if you get near ’em
won’t you physio’em 1” “Physio’em,
you young rascal, what do you mean ?”
said the doctor. “ Why, kill ’em, to be
sure,” replied the lad.
Afghan Etiquette.
An Afghan never receives unceremoni
ous calls. The visitor must send a few
hours’ notice of his intention. He is
then received at the door by some confi
dential retainer or retainers, and con
ducted through an open courtyard to the
foot of a rude, winding staircase, which
leads first to an uncovered landing, and
thence to the ordinary reception room or
balcony of the proprietor. Here he is
received by the host in person, and con
ducted with every mark of courtesy and
respect to a small row of chairs, the use
of which article of furniture seems to
be general in good society in Cabul, and
to have quite superseded the carpets and
felts which satisfied an older gen
eration. After a few words of welcome
and inquiries in a set formula after
health on both sides, a tray of fruits usu
ally appears, and is placed upon the
carpet at the feet of the visitors. The
fruits are followed by the tea-tray, and
a cup of highly-sweetened green tea,
without milk, is placed before the vis
itor. The conversation is then carried
on with more or less spirit on the ordi
nary topics of the day, and here, if the
visit is a merely formal one, the inter
view comes to an end and the visitor is
conducted to the door with the same
formality and courtesy with which he
was received. If, however, a confiden
tial interview is desired, the attendants
are requested to withdraw.
A Schenectady lawyer charged 87 for
collecting a bill of $5, but os it was
against another lawyer the court held
that the services were worth the money.