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BELLTON, GEORGIA
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One year (52 number*), $1.00; six months
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numbers), 26 oeats. '
Office m the Smith bnildine, emt of the
depot.
Examination in Medicine.
By a Philadelphia Diploma Cheap
Doctor:
Examiner—Where is the stomach of
man located?
Student Somewhere between the
crowu-of the head and the soles of the
feet.
“ ’Tis well. What is the principal
use of the stomach?”
“To run up board bills.”
“When is it proper to prolong cases of
sickness?”
“When the patient is able to nav
well. ”
“Do you bleed?”
“Yes.”
“What organ?"
“The patient’s pocket.”
“Right What is your favorite stylo
of practice?”
“Visiting each patient three times a
day, at five dollars per visit. ”
“What are indispensable adjuncts to a
good practice?”
“Spectacles, a horse and buggy, a
stylish residence, dignity, and a fashion
able wife.”
“ W hat are the best means of fostering
the growth of a small practice?”
“By hanging a large door-bell in
your house, which can be heard over the
entire neighborhood, and employing a
man to ring it occasionally at night. ”
“What are orthodox aids in securing
practice?"
“Regular attendance nt church, and
the employment of another man to rush
up the aisle during services, and call
you out every other Sunday. ”
“ Cui Bono!"
“That’s Latin.”
“True; but what’s tho calling and
ringing for ?”
“ To develop tho idea abroad of a large
practice. ”
“What are necessary qualities in a
physician ?”
“To look wise, talk little, remain non
committal as to the nature of the disense,
and impress on the friends of tho pa'tient
his critical condition. ”
“What class of patients should bo
encouraged in developing imaginary
complaints?”
“Women with nothing to do, and
plenty of money to do it with. ”
“Correct. You’re bound to have an
extensive and profitable practice within
two years. Here's your diploma.
Twenty-five dollars, please.”—A’ew York
Graphic.
“(food to Pull.”
A number of Indies visited a New York
public school, and one of them thought
that she would question the tots, and see
how much they knew about the senses.
What were the eyes for ?
For seeing.
Yes—and what would be the result if
we had no eyes ? And she asked the
little ones to shut their eyes tight. Ay,
yes. They understood.
And then the cars. What were they
for? ■
Hearing.
Yes ; and now stop yonr cars up ns
tightly as you can. Ah! what a sad
thing it would be to have no ears. We
should never hear the birds sing any
more, and never more hear mamma’s
voice.
And then came the nose. W’hat was
that for?
Somehow the little ones seemed pnz
• zled at this point. About the eyes and
ears there had been no question—but
the nose? They looked up into the
lady’s face curiously, evidently with an
answer ready, but not quite sure of be
ing right. Finally the questioner saw
an intelligent smile upon one chubby
little face—one of the four-year-olds—
and she said to the child:
“Ah, Miss Dot, you can tell me what
the nose is for, can’t yon ? Come, now
speak up. Don’t be afraid. W’hat is it ?’’
A few twists and puckers, and then,
with a wondrous sparkle of the great
brown eyes:
“ ’Eb, —I dess its for mamma to fate
hold of to pull!"
That close the examination for the dav
Yew York Palaces.
New York is marking the period of its
great prosperity by the production of
public and private buildings of vastly
advanced size, style and elegance. Fifth
avenue, above Fiftieth street, and the
borders of the park, are being lined
with houses, churches, hotels, libraries,
and other public buildings worthy of
the metropolis of the ’Western
W’orld. The private dwellings
in Paris they would call them
“hotels” —now being constructed on
lipper Fifth avenue rival in costliness,
slegance, and luxurious comfort the
most noted of the modem private resi
dences in the great capitals of Europe.
The Parisian badand walks through the
grand avenues in the neighborhood of
the Arc de Triomphe and the Bois de
Boulogne, regarding with satisfaction
the uniformity of the private hotels in
that quarter is the perfection of archi
tecture. He has seen nothing finer:
there can be nothing finer. A stroll
through upper Fifth avenue would show
him that our millionaires, who are famil
iar with the architectural magnificence
of the Old World in all its variety, do
not believe that any established style is
final or eternal.
The Vanderbilts are spending enor
mous sums in expensive Fifth avenue
buildings. They have illustrated that
many varieties of architecture can be
domesticated here, each adding to the
beauty and glory of our metropolis.
The four magnificent Vanderbilt dwell
ings are already numbered among the
finest and most conspicuous architectural
ornaments of Fifth avenue.—A’etc York
Evenina Telearam.
The North Georgian.
VOL. IV.
"mioxn STBENfiTH.”
BY THOMAS D’ARCY HSGEE.
I,
A man whose corn wag carried awav
Bef< re hts eyes, and whose oats and hay
Were niled up into the landlord’s cart,’
Looked toward his castle with sorrows heart.
ti.
“ You seem,” said he, “ so strong and grand,
Like a giant you overlook the land;
And a giant in stomach you sure must be,
That of all my ervp can leave none to me.’
HI.
Quoth another—“ Os such weak words what end ?
Have you any hope that the devil will mend,
Or the wolf let a kid escape his maw,
Or a landlord yield his rights at law!
iv.
“ Let us go over to Rackrent Hall
By two and threes—lt may befall,
As wisdom Is found in the multitude,
Eaough of us might do thecause some good.”
▼.
At first they went by twos and threes,
Bui Rackrent’s lord they could not please;
And next they went in number a score,
But the case was even the same as before.
vr.
By fifties and hundreds they gathered then,
R solute—patient, dogged men—
And the landlord owned that he thought there wm
Some slight defect in the present laws.
vn.
Then a barony spoke—a country woke—
A nation struck at their feudal yoke—
’Twas found the Right could not be withstood,
And—wisdom was found in tho multitude 1
IN A SHANTY.
“Mr. Alwade, this is Melth, the cook.”
As old Mrs. Watson spoke thus briefly,
Wallace Alwade turned partly around,
facing the small, delicate woman, who
stood but partially revealed in the shad
ows of the long, low-roofed shanty.
For one instant he stood gazing in
tently into the pale face of tho timid,
retiring creature before him, then ex
tended his hand, with a polite bow and
pleasant word of greeting.
“Melth. the cook.”
What a thrill shot through his heart at
the mention of the name. As their hands
clasped in the dim firelight, and he
gazed down into the pale face of the
shrinking figure before him, Wallace
Alwade’s mind grew troubled.
That face, so thin and pale, with long
ing, regretful shadows lurking in the
violet eyes, touched a half-forgotten chord
in his bachelor heart. It was but a
dreamy reflection of tho past, however.
He remembered where he was, and
turned away without thinking deeply.
It was not likely that an almost forgotten
dream would meet with fruition in a place
like this, a dingy lumber shanty in the
heart of the great pine woods.
A minute later the jingle of sleigh
bells cut the frosty night air.
“Weil, Mrs. Watson, I must be going,”
said the lumber dealer, turning toward
the door.
“Won’t you stay all night, Mr. Al
wade?”
‘ ‘lmpossil>le, my good woman. I have
important business to attend to in town.
I find that yonr husband is managing
affairs very well in the woods. I think I
can safely trust him to go on with the
job.”
“Tattlers’ tongues to the contrary,
ch?” returned the rosy-faced matron,
with a rippling laugh.
“Yes, tho stories I have heard are all
false, Mrs. Watson. I shan't trouble
myself about these flying reports again,
rest assured.”
“Thank you, Mr. Alwade. My hus
band shall know of your generosity.”
“Facts are stubborn things,” returned
Alwade. "The job is progressing well
under Mr. Watson’s management, and I
am only too glad to place the credit
where it belongs. ”
Thus speaking the rich lumberman
left the room and entered the sleigh that
stood waiting at the door.
Speeding over the glistening snow,
under the tall pines, with the keen win
ter air cutting like a knife, Walace Al
wade felt strangely invigorated after
contact with the close air of the lumber
shanty.
That evening, after reaching his room,
Alwade found time for reflection. The
face of “Melth, the cook,” pale, worn,
and timid, haunted him once more,
like the dim memory of a half-forgotten
dream. Why did he give the pale-faced
shanty cook a second thought ? Simply
because this was not the first time he
had seen that face. In pondering over
the subject, Alwade came suddenly into
full knowledge why he had been so
strangely affected at meeting Melth.
A vision of the long ago was before
him. He stood under the gaslight plead
ing for the love of as beautiful a girl as
the sun ever shone on. He could see
the haughty curl of the full red lips, see
the scornful flash of those violet eyes,
and even feel the sting of the words that
fell from the maiden's lips, refusing him,
laughing to scorn all his passionate plead
ings; and all because he was but a poor
law student, without name or fortune in
the world. His hopes were crushed for
ever. He went our into the world with a
bitter pain in his heart, yet unable even
then to conquer the love that had mas
tered him so utterly.
That was twelve years ago; twelve
painful years to Wallace Alwade. Out
West, under the shadows of the Michi
gan pines, he had built up a fortune,
and stood one of the foremost men in
the strong, vigorous young State where
our story is located. For twelve years
he had heard nothing of Meltha Bayne.
Was it wonderful, then, that he failed to
recognize in “Melth, the cook, the self
willed, imperious beauty who had scorn
ed him in his yonth.
After hours of thought he was not
fully satisfied. It could not be that
Meltha Bayne had fallen so low ns this, a
i cook in one of his logging shanties !
That night the face of Melth haunted
the rich lumberman, and at earliest dawn
BELLTON, BANKS COUNTY. GA., JANUARY 6, 1881.
he was once more seated behind his
magnificant bays speeding rapidly into
the great woods.
“Gone!” exclaimed the lumberman,
seemingly staggered at a Budded revela
tion.
“Yes. She must have slipped off in
the night some time,” said Mrs. Watson,
looking her surprise at the strange inter
est her employer took in the little faded
eook. “It don’t matter a great deal,
though,” continued Mrs. Watson. “My
husband can hunt up another woman
right quick. ”
Wallace Alwade stood warming his
hands by the fire.
“She went hi the night, you say?”
“Yes. or very early this morning,”
“Why did she go?”
“Can’t say.”
“Perhaps she left some word, a note
or something?”
“Not a thing.”
“She must have been brave to dare a
cold winter’s night for the sake of leaving
here unseen.”
“It’s queer, very queer,” muttered the
woman. “Melth and I agreed perfectly.
I can’t see what cause she had for
leaving. ”
Alwade turned hurriedly to depart.
As he did so his eyes caught sight of a
white edge of paper peering from the
inner side of the door-casing. Drawing
it forth, he found a few lines hastily writ
ten thereon:
“Mr. Alwade —When I met you to-night I
knew that you were tho ono who onco know
Meltha Bayne under far different circum
stances. I know that yon recognized mo, and
doubtless felt gratified in your heart for tho re
venge time has wrought you. Os course I can
not remain another day under this roof.
Meltha.”
There was not the slightest clew in
this brief note to guide his steps. There
were but few settlers in the woods, how
ever, and he felt that it would be an easy
matter to discover the whereabouts of
the missing woman.
Once more outside, the winter air
touched his cheeks with icy fingers, and
a shudder convulsed his frame as he
thought of poor, little, helpless Meltha,
exposed to the cold under a pitiless win
ter sky, with no home, no place to lay
her head.
It was his duty to find her before night
and offer her a better situation than the
one she had but lately occupied.
A sudden snow-storm came up, which
booh filled the road, so that Alwade’s
swift bays found it difficult to make any
thing but the slowest headway. -
Down in fleecy billows the snow sifted,
filling the air and covering the ground
completely.
The wind rose, whirling the snow up
against the pines in huge drifts. The
track was no longer visible.
Hugo banks of snow blocked the wav.
and the lumberman came suddenly to a
full knowledge of the fact that it would
soon be impossible for him to proceed.
“Ugh! what a fearful night we’re hav
ing!” muttered the lumberman, as he
buttoned his great coat more closely, and
strove to peer ahead through the blind
ing storm. “Suppose Meltha hasn’t
found a shelter?” The thought sent a
chill to his heart.
On and on the horses foundered, the
drifts growing deeper, the storm fiercer,
meantime.
The wind rose to a gale, hurling tho
snow in sheeted masses through the air,
while tho gloom of approaching night
settled down upon tho forest.
Alwade consulted his watch in some
surprise.
“So late?” he muttered. “I did not
think I was going at such a snail’s pace.
Now I’m in a fix, to be sure.”
His horses, struggling in a deeper drift
than usual, came suddenly to a halt.
Alwade peered about him. The forest
looked strange and new to him. The
truth suddenly flashed upon his brain.
“I see; I’ve lost the main road, some
how, and this is some one of the many
old logging tracks, ” mused the lumber
man, forgetting Meltha for the time,
under the difficulties of his own situation.
Night was setting in rapidly. The
storm still raged furiously. There was
no chance of finding the right road to
night. If this was a log-road, there must
be an end somewhere, and then he would
find shanties.
He touched his horses with the whip.
After several attempts, the noble ani
mals cleared the drift and moved slowly
on.
The storm seemed to increase in fury
every minute.
If he found no shelter soon, Alwade
feared for the consequences.
Peering anxiously ahead, a dark snow
capped pile met his straining vision.
The next minute his horses stood steam
ing beside a half-ruined log shanty.
It was almost dark now, but Alwade
quietly unhitched from the cutter, and
drove his team under the friendly shelter.
This had once been used for a barn.
Across the way, some rods ahead, was
the cook’s shanty.
Alwade found the door hanging on one
hinge, a portion of the shanty roof fallen
in, but this shelter was better than the
snow and storm outside.
He had matches in his picket, and one
of these was quickly ignited. An old
bunk stood next the wall. Quickly de
molishing this, the lumberman soon had
a brisk fire in the long unused fire-place.
Removing his great coat, he stood
over the fire and warmed his hands,
thankful for his lucky escape from death
at the hands of the frost king.
The fire blazed up brightly, lighting
the room throughout.
“Good heaven! what’s this ?”
Wallace Alwood stood staring into the
corner of the room, where a human form
lay coiled upon the frozen ground.
Approaching, tho lumberman stood
over the dark-robed figure, stood and
I gazed for a minute, spell-bound, into
| the face of a woman.
“Meltha !”
Bending down quickly, the stout man
gathered the light form in his arms and
boro it to the fire.
“Dead!” he groaned, as ho gazed into
the rigid face.
To his great delight, he was soon re
warded with a groan, followed shortly
after by a sight of two great, frightened
violet eves.
“Meltha Bayne,” ho whispered softly.
“Where am I?” she answered.
“Safe, Meltha. Thank heaven for
sending me out of my road to-nght,”
said Wallace Alwade, fervently.
An hour later Meltha Bayne was able
to sit up.
In a few brief words she related her
advefftures of the past twenty hours.
She had wandered off from the main
road and had traveled on many by-roads,
through snow and storm, fin ally" coming
to the knowledge of the fact that she was
lost. Two hours before she had found
this shanty, and tired and coid, she had
sank down to slumber, from which she
would never have waked, but for the
coming of Alwade.
“Why did you loavo Mrs. Watson,
Meltha ?”
“After meeting yon, 1 could not re
main,” she said, simply.
“After meeting me ! Can it be that
you still hate me, Meltha?”
Her violet eyes sought his face won
deringly.
“Hateyou, Mr. Alwade, I could never
do that. I could not bear to see you,
and know that you were gloating over
the revenge that time has wrought I
have hated myself manv times for tho
past in my life.”
He seized her hand and bent a search
ing look into her thin, faded face.
“ Meltha, I am content to let the past
lie buried. I am a lone old bachelor,
rich and crusty, but I want a wife.”
“ Well?”
“Will you be that wife to me, Mel
tha?”
“ After my treatment of you, when—”
“ Yes. after that.”
“ For pity’s sake, Wallace?” tears fill
ing the violet eyes.
“Forlove’s sake, Meltha.”
Tears fell from her eyes. Ho drew
her head to his broad breast, and sealed
the compact with a kiss.
The wealthy lumberman found the
wife, who presides over his house with
exquisite grace, in a shanty.
of Mind as a Sign of Incipient
Menial Disease.
The Medical and Surgical Reporter
has some suggestions and statements in
the article below, which are of interest
and importance to a good many people:
It is essential to skill that the muscles
of the body should work unconsciously,
but the moment they assert, as it wore;
their independence of self-consciousness,
and prompt to the initiation of efforts
outside of what they have been taught, a
diseased condition is begun which we
call “absence of mind.” Such a habit
begins on little things, more generally
by an omission than a commission.
Thinking of something else while dress
ing, a part of the toilet is overlooked,
the necktie is forgotten, tho wrong coat
is put on and the hair is unkempt.
Soon, as the habit increases, absurd
and even harmful acts are committed.
The collections of anecdotes are full of
stories of such follies. We know of an
able young lawyer, who, instead of pour
ing a tonic from a bottle on his desk,
carefully emptied the ink from his ink
stand into a spoon - and swallowed it.
Another, an ex-Attorney General of the
United States, wont on a fortnight trip
to attend an absorbing legal case. His
wife packed a half dozen shirts in his
portmanteau. On his return there was
no shirt visible. Pushing her inquiries,
she found that her husband had regular
ly a clean shirt every other day, but had
forgotten to take off the soiled one, and
now returned wearing the whole half
dozen! An authentic anecdote of the
great political economist, Adam Smith,
tells us that when called upon to sign a
contract, instead of writing his own
name, he made an elaborate imitation of
the signature of the other party, which
had already been affixed.
Such incidents tend to depreciate a
man, though perhaps unjustly, in the
opinion of those with whom he does bus
iness. They become also a grave annoy
ance to the individual himself. In a
sense they are mental weaknesses, which,
pushed to a certain degree, pass into
mental diseases. Senility and insanity
are not infrequently marked by auto
matic actions, carried out without the
will or consciousness of the doer. The
absent-minded ono, like the sleep-walk
er, performs actions without the knowl
edge of them, and neglects duties which
are pressing. Justly, therefore, it is a
source of anxiety with every thoughtful
person when he finds himself falling into
this bad mental habit. It is usually
gradual in its onset, stealing oyer one in
moments of intensest occupation. Un
like other mind weaknesses it is not the
foe of the idle man so much as. the busy
one. Yet habits of revery and day
dreaming may also bring it about.
Those who feel this habit creeping over
them will do well make an early and
special effort to resist it. It can be
conquered by a habit of attention, and
by severe self-chiding when the mind
yields to it.
■
A Difference in Value.
Rosseau, alluding to the kindness of
neighbors, says that, when his wife died,
every father in the neighborhood offered
to console him with one of his daughters;
but a few weeks afterward, his cow hav
ing shared the same fate, no one ever
thought of replacing his loss by the offer
of another—thereby proving tho different
Value set upon their cows ond children.
SOUTHERN NEWS.
Geergia has 137 counties.
Rome, Ga., will have an ice factory
next summer.
There are said to be 525 cancer cases at
one place in Arkansas.
The number of patients in the Eastern
Lunatic Asylum of Virginia is 330.
One firm in Jacksonville, Fla., expects
to make 500,000 cigars per month.
North Carolina has sixty-five cotton
factories and 250 tobacco factories.
Active operations have commenced at
the Alpha cotton factory, North Carolina.
A new post-office is ordered to be es
tablished seven miles west of Yorkville,
S. C.
In South Carolina there are 46,225
members of the Methodist church, and
139 local preachers.
Thousands of acres of government and
State lands are still awaiting settlers in
Sumter county, Fla.
Reported salaries of two preachers in
the North Georgia Conference are $149
and $l3O for the year.
Georgia’s Commissioner of Agriculture
thinks the guano trade this year will
show an increase of 35,000 tons.
Twenty-seven beer saloons paid Bren
ham, Texas, sl2 for November. The
bell punch is said to work the same in
other Texas towns.
Nearly four hundred white emigrants
have passed through Vicksburg within a
week, going to various parts of north Lou
isiana.
About fifty Confederates were buried
at Newport News during the war, and it
is said that the place of their rest will be
lost sight of unless cared for.
A beautiful mirage was recently seen
in Accomac county, Va. The island of
Chincoteague, thirty miles away, appear
ed to be only a quarter of a mile distant.
. jPuhliSJandTin Dale foimty, Ala., are
entered rapidly, 1,600 or 1,800 acreshav
ing been taken as homesteads within a
single week, besides purchases at govern
ernment price.
The head of Spring river, in Fulton
county, Ark., is said to be the largest
spring in the United States, if not in the
world, It makes at the beginning a
river over one hundred yards in width.
The town council of Anderson, S. C.,
has decided to give half the fines for car
rying concealed weapons, gunbling or
injuring public or private property to
per- ms informing.
11, is thought that the high price of cotq
in Atl inta is the result of a combination
between three local coal-dealers, and W.
R. Tuttle, the alleged head of a coal pool
in E:ist Tennessee
The population of Mobile is said to
have decreased about 5,000 within the
last decade, and the tax assessment for
Mobile county to have fallen from $22,
090,000 to $14,000,000 in less than ten
years.
It is estimated that it will take five
hundred years to exhaust the coal in
White county, Va.. at the rate of 2,0'i0
tons a day. A company of Western Penn
sylvanians has bought 60,000 acres of these
coal lands.
The first break in a long period of bus
ncss prosperity in Georgia, is that of
Welch & Bacon, of Albany. Planters in
several counties were dependent on the
firm for. advances and supplies. The as
sets are said to be $270,000, and the lia
bilities $317,000.
A Methodist minister could not attend
the Conference at Shreveport, La., be
cause he had no money. During the
whole year his congregation had paid him
on'y SIOO, and he and his little son wer
obligcd to pick cotton in order to ge
money to live on.
Bobby and the Plaster.
Bobby Blinkers was a Nevada boy,
and didn’t want to go to school. Ho did
not put in his appearance at breakfast,
and about 9 o’clock his mother went up
to see what was the matter. Bob was
writhing about the bed from an impro
vised stomach-ache. “All right,” said
the oldlady. “I’4l apply a mustard plas
ter,” and in a few minutes a hot mustard
plaster containing two square foot of
motive power was spread upon the boy’s
abdomen. “Mother, how long must
this thing stay on?” “I guess I’ll be
able to take it off aliout 4 this afternoon,
and then if I can get an emetic to work,
it’ll be all right. Lie still, my boy, I’ll
bring you through.” Then Bob rose up
immediately and started for school, and
the plaster was the cause of his being
an hour late. T
“There is not a corporation on the
round globe whose specific gravity is
greater than that of the old TEtna Life
of Hartford. It is solid an Granite and
as true us gold.”— Phil. Weekly Hern.
X
PUBLISHED EVEBY THURBDA”
—AT—
BMUhLTON. &A-.
BY JOHN BULATS.
Tbbms— sl.oo per anaam 50 oeaU for six
aioutbs; 25 cents torthree months.
Partial away from Bellton are reqaeited
to send their names with snoh amounts of
money •) they can pare, bom 25c. to $1
NO. 1.
HUMORS OF THE DAY.
The man who drinks ’alf an’ ’alf gets
of en off.
It is ths flat who loves to have others
flatter him.
Many a broth of a boy has been re
duced to a stipe at the theatre.
A man out in Nebraska died the other
day white blowing his nose. It was a
fatal blow.
You can tell when a reporter is going
to make a point by the way he sharpens
his pencil.
To remove superfluous hair Send
your well filled mattress to bo done over
by a cheap upholsterer.
The book agent knows ho is solid
when ho wipes his feet on a door mat in
which the word “Welcome” is woven.
Out in the mines they shoot a man
who refuses to drink his soup straight
from the plate.— Elmira Free Frees.
A disfigured man feels bad, of course,
about being marked for life; but when ho
is marked for death ho must feel worse.
An exchange says: “Streams all over
tho county are running dry. ” This is a
canard. When a stream is dry it can’t
run.
A little girl who was much petted
said: “I like sitting on gentlemen’s
knees better than on ladies’; don’t you,
mu.”
Or forty cases on the docket of the
Fayette County (Texas) District Court,
nineteen are for divorce. Only twenty
one murders!
When Brutus and Cassius were boys
the girls used to say that Brute was such
a nice follow, but they preferred Cash.
Tho girls haven’t changed ono bit.
‘ ‘Will you take ’em on the half shell ?”
asked the agreeable oyster opener.
“No,” said the stranger, regardless of
expense, “whole shell or nothing.”
Indignation will fill the breast of every
artist when wo state that two men were
arrested in a lumber yard tho other day
because they were suspected of a design
on wood.
Mistress— “Mary, this venoral do goose
is tough enough to break one's teeth.”
Maid—“Yes'm; didn’t you tell me,
ma’am, that you wanted it for a piece de
resistance!”
Or a miserly man who died of soften
ing of the brain, a local paper said: “His
head gave way, but his hand uover did.
His brain softened but his heart
couldn’t.”
A Providence paper says a prominent
citizen of New Hampshire died “of in
flammation of the bowels, aged forty-eight
years.” Pretty old inflammation, we
should say.
Two children in the Tuileries were ex
tolling tho qualities of their respective
papas “Aline is as tall as tho garden
wall,” said one. “My papa cau see
over tho garden wall.” ‘hindmine, too,
when ho has his hat on.”
A witness under cross-examination,
who had been tortured by a lawyer for
several hours, at last asked for a glass of
water. “There,” said the Judge, “I
think you’d better let tho witness go
now, as you have pumped him dry.”
Native Alaskan ladies of fashion wear
entire suits made of sealskin, drink whis
ky and eat whale’s blubber; and they
are not a bit stuck up about it, either.
There is a moral concealed in tho busi
ness end of this paragraph.
Tile late Bev. Dr. Symington, not fool
ing well one Sunday morning, said to his
beadle, who was a “character:” “Man
Robert, I wish you would preach for me
to-day.” “I caima do that,” promptly
replied Robert, “but I often pray for
you.”
“Old woman, how do you sell beets?”
asked a loafer of an old vegetable woman
in the market, and she replied: “I just
tell ’em I’ll trust ’em, and then give ’em
stuff that looks all right and ain’t good
for nothing. They don’t like the sell
either.” _____________
A Sailor’s Life at Sen.
In an article upon the general features
of a sailor’s life, published in tho Boston
Commercial Bulletin, tho writer says:
After the pilot leaves tho vessel at the
mouth of tho harbor, the captain assumes
command, then officers ana crew begin
to understand each other. In olden
times it Vas customary for the crew and
officers to make this day the decisive one
as to whether the officers or men were to
“take charge!”
The most trifling oct indicative of in
subordination on the part of the crew, or
the first harsh word from an officer, was
sufficient to throw “all hands” into a
tumult—as the result of this fresh battle
determined the character of) the rule
throughout the voyage. Heaven help
tho officers who are overwhelmed by the
turbulence of the crew in this, their first
encounter. For while the men dare not
openly disobey the orders from their of
ficers, they will contrive to render their
obedience in such a manner as to cause
their unfortunate mate the greatest
chagrin.
■» m »
Be a Man.
Foolish spending is the father of
poverty. Do not be ashamed of hard
work. Work, but work for half price
rather than be idlq, Be your own master,
and do not let society or fashion swallow
you up individually—hat; coat and boots.
Do not eat up or wear out all you can
earn. Compel yotu selfish body to spare.
something for profits saved. Be stingy
to your own appetite, but merciful for
others’ necessities. Help others, and
ask not for yourselves. Bee that you are
proud, too. Let your pride be of the
right kind. Be too proud to be lazy; too
proud to give up without conquering
every difficulty; too proudto be in com
pany that you cannot keep up within ex
penses; too proud to be stingy.