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X PUBLISHED EVEBY THURBDA BELLTON, GA. BY JOHN BLATS. Tsaju—Bl.OO per man CO cent* for Biz meats*; 25 cent* forthree months. <*rtte* away from Belltea are requested Io send their aame* with sash amounts of mosey n they mm pare, freaa See. to Cl SOUTHERN NEWS. In Columbus county, N. C., it is pro posed to cultivate jute for market. On one ranch in Texas a thousand lambs were killed by cold weather. Malvern, Ark., has voted down the granting of liquor licenses in that place. The new code of Mississippi cost $12,- ->OO, u,OOO volumes at $2 50 per volume. It is said that castor beans can l>ee raised to perfection in Western Texas. William H. Vanderbilt has given $lO,- 000 to the University of North Carolina. It is said in Alabama that for seventy five years good crops have succeeded hard winters. The places of a thousand or more ne groes who have left the prairies of Ala bama tor Mississippi have been easily filled. In Louisiana there are said to be 139 species of fibrous plants which can be made amenable to the requirements of commerce. During six days of Christmas, $3,780 worth of whisky was sold, the Rev. R. N Pratt says, in the town of Abbeville, S. C. An effort is reported at Prattville, Ala., to prohibit the sale of liquor within the corporate limits, or raise the license to $2,500. From Jacksonville, Fla., the shipments of lumber last year aggregated 41,719,255 feet, an increase of 7,740,317 over the year previous. The largest crop of sugar in Louisiana this season is thought to be that made on Bellevue plantation in St. Mary parish, about 2,000,000 pounds. Public schools in Tennessee in 1880 numbered 5,522, against 3,942 in 1875. In 1880 the teachers employed numbered 5,954, against 4,210 in 1875. In Alabama a law has been passed giv ing blacksmiths and woodworkers a lien on vehicles repaired by them until the price is paid. The black lands of Alabama are said to be degenerating rapidly. The ridge lands, of canbrake have washed away, and the bottoms need draining badly. The city of Galveston has contracted for the sinking of an artesian well to the depth of 2,500 feet or till water is reached satisfactory in quality and quantity. Olives and oil have been raised in South Carolina. Fine samples have just been furnished by .Mrs. Preston 8. Brooks, of Edgefield. The trees were planted in 1853. Build cotton mills. Five million bales of unmanufactured cotton is worth to the South $225,000,000. Spun into yarn this cotton is worth to the South $450,- 000,000. Lee county, to lie named in honor of' Gen. R. E. Lee, is proposed in North I Carolina to be formed out of parts of Johnston, Wake, Franklin and Nash counties. The liquor traffic is one of the ques tions which the Legislature of North Carolina will have to face. A prohibi tory liquor law association has been started at Raleigh. The South Carolina law prohibits ab solutely the sale of intoxicating liquors, including malt liquors and wines, outside of all incorporated cities, towns and vil lages. The remains of the father of lion. Jefferson Davis are buried in Wilkes, county, Ga. It is alleged that Mr. Davis has written to a gentleman of Wilke* county, offering a I iberal reward forthem. One of the most serious drawbacks to the prosperity of S<»uth Florida is said to be the fact that so large a portion of the supplies is imported from the North. The remark might be extended to other parts of the South. Kennedy, the South Texas cattle King, who recently sold out to an English com pany, had one of the largest ranches in the State, having 180,000 acres of land under fence, *upon which he fed 50,000 head of cattle and 10,000 head of horses. Nagotiations are in progress for the purchase of land in Eastern North Caro lina whereupon to settle a colony of Swedes, who are expected to arrive at New York early in the spring. A loca tion near the Pamlico river in Beaufort county. Th • Agricultural Departm utof South Carolina will probably send an agent to Germany to induce immigration. There is some talk of managing this agency in connection with those of North Carolina and Georgia, thereby securing greater advantages with less outlay. The North Georgian. VOL. IV. United States Commissioner Le Due has arranged for leasing 200 acres of land in Colleton county, S. C., about two miles from Summerville, for the purpose of establishing an experimental tea farm under the management of the United States Department of Agriculture. The owner, H. A. Middleton, of Charleston, grants a lease for twenty years for one dollar. At the end of the lease all per manent improvements will be his prop rty. By the new heme»tead act of South Carolina, a homestead in 1 nds, whether held in fee or any lesser estate, not to exceed in value SI,OOO, with the yearly products thereof, is exempt to the head of every family residing in the State from attachment, levy or sale, on any mesne or final process issuing from any court upon any judgment obtained upon any right of action arising subsequent to the ratification of the State constitution. Also personal property to the extent of SSOO is exempt to the head of any family residingin the State. Rats in India. A captain in the army, holding an ap pointment in the Bengal Staff Corps was staying with his wife and young child in the same station. The father—a right brave man he was. who had been wound ed not a great while before by some hill savage—wanted to bring up his son to be hardy and fearless, (like himself, I should add) so the parents put their lit tle one in a room to sleep by itself. But they soon noticed scratches and strange marks on the young child’s hands, which, getting worse, made them call in a doc tor. This gentleman’s advise was en couraging; he said: “If you don’t want your child to lose his hands you had better keep him away from the rats, for they have been biting him. ” Traveling at one time in an out-of the-way district, I had put up for the night at a “d’ak bungalow,” i. e., travel ers’ rest house. I asked the native in charge whether any sahibs hail been there lately, and he said no, not for a long time. Before lying down to rest, I took off my riding boots and flung them on one side. When I came to put them on in the morning I found I should travel with much less leather than I had the previous day, for the rats had made a complete wreck of the lipper parts of the boots. I hadn't another pair with me or I should certainly have worn them, for my appearance was somewhat novel, as I was wearing white trousers at the time, and the holes in the boot uppers wore painfully manifest in consequence. An old painter in India, whose word I readily believe, assured me that the zine lining of some grain bins was eaten through and mended, and eaten through again several times by rats, and that the performance was quite skillful, in that the bins were built on brick pillars, and great care was taken never to leave any thing beneath for the rats to stand upon. But nevertheless they managed repeat edly in some way, and gnawed through the wood and then through the zinc un til the grain fell out. I was living for a few mouths in an is olated, swampy district, and, as a nat ural sequence, the place being excessively unhealthy, I was frequently attacked by the constant companions of Indian jungle life, fever and ague. The bu»- galow was a very rough building, and had been put up in a great hurry, and every time the wind blew with any vio lence I anticipated it coming down in a space of time even less than that in which it was put up. When laid up with fever, and unable to read, I use to watch the rats running about the beams and rafters of the roof. Their performances would have put Blondin altogether to shame. I amused myself by waiting until the rats got into difficult parts of the roof, and then clapped my hands to startle them. But endeavoring to cause them to lose their balance. was utterly futile. They always got out of sight in safety. I sometimes had something eatable left on the table, and then watched the ma noeuvres of the rats to carry it away. I was sorry afterward, because they got impudent and courageous, and fre quently stole things intended for my own consumption. Blue Monday. A recognized institution in England is “blue Monday,” the direct fruit of the 1 beer drinking which is there tolerated and allowed. The working Englishman is wedded to his beer. He feels that it is the great comfort, and one of the very few enjoyments of his life. And not onlv is the chocolate room or any like contrivance “ slow,” but there is about it an implication that he is taken in hand and managed by his betters, like a child, which he not unnaturally resents. Rightly' or wrongly, he feels more ashamed at being treated in this way than he does of being drunk once a week—once, however, being here a word of wide signification. For in these cases “the same drunk” often extends from Saturday night to Monday, and not in frequently into Tuesday. Many first class artisans, knowing their own pro pensity, absolutely refuse to work for any man more than four days a week. The social effect of this habit on the community may be imagined. The editor wrote “An evening with Saturn,” and it came out in the pajier “An evening with Satan.” It was mighty rough, but the foreman said it was the work of the “devil.” Audit looked that way. BELLTON, BANKS COUNTY, GA., JANUARY 20 1881. SAD HISTORY OF THE ( ONFEDER ATE GENERALS. The Men Who Offered Up Their Li von mid Property On the Altar ol T, eir Country, nne How They Accepted the Arbitranjeiit of the Hword and Abi* ded by It. What a strange, and in the main, what a sad history is that of the generals who led the confederate armies in the late war. It is a story of poverty and depri vation, lit up here and there by a gleam of good luck—but of poverty borne man fully, and of deprivation met with the same courage that led these men to the front of their legions. The fate of the “rebel brigadier” at the close of the war was enough to de press the most bouyant among them. They had put evorvthing on the turn of the sword and had 'lost. Property, busi ness and all had been sacrificed in the arder of war, and they were left, in the fierce light of fame, without any resource —expected to support a certain dignity and nothing to support it on. There was no standing army into which they could 1 be retired with adequate salary. There was no hope for them in the thousands 1 of lucrative offices that the republicans 1 distributed among the federal generals. ’ Their States were impoverished and were ; unable to support civil establishments ' that would furnish offices out of which ' anything could be hoped for. Os course J the privates of the confederate army were deserving of all sympathy ; but it ' seems to me that the generals had some- ( what harder lines. At any rate lam ' sure that there is no old soldier that fol- 1 lowed the stars and bars that will not 1 read with interest a kindly inquiry into • the history of these old leaders and their ’ families. I believe the annexed will be' entirely accurate, certainly nearly so. ‘ I hardly know where to begin, but ! suppose we take the living Lees with ’ which to open the hurried review. W. H. 1 F. Lee, the oldest son of Robert E. Lee, ! is living at present in Fairfax county, 1 on a farm that belonged to the estate of ' bis aunt, Mrs. Fitzhugh. It is a fine ' place; the General is an attentive and ' successful farmer, and he gets a comfort- 1 able living out of it. Custis Lee, the i next son, succeeded his father as I’resi- 1 dent of Washing-Lee University and 1 lives in Lexington. He is a bachelor, and bis two sisters live with him. He has fine expectations, Judge Hughes hav- I ing decided that the Arlington estate, 1 now used as a federal cemetery, is his by ri ht of law. The case has been appealed, but the judgment will hardly he reversed —and the place will be appraised and payment made for it. Robert Lee lives on the old Lee estate in Westmoreland county, where he is moving along smoothly, making enough to supply his wants. General Fitzhugh Lee has a farm on the Potomac, that belonged to his aunt, Mrs. Fitzhugh, and it is said is showing considerable enterprise, though • not amassing money. He has a saw mill, I think, in connection with his farm. The House and the Senate have a good many of our generals, and I think with 1 the execution of Generals Cockrell and Vance, all of them find their salary very important. General Vance was living very easily, and added to his fortune bv his late marriage. Senator Cockrell, j who was a brave and dashing officer, built up a lucrative practice in St. Louis before lie came to the Senate, and is well fixed. Besides these there are in the 1 Senate. Major-General Matt Ransom who 1 is struggling to clear his property of en- ' cumbranees that-he was forced to put ' upon it to make it productive Briga dier-General John T. Morgan, of Ala bama, who depended upon bis law prac tice, which was larger in volume than in income; Lieutenant-General Hampton, of South Carolina, who is a comparative ly poor man, though a large land owner; Major-General Butler, his colleague, who last all in the war and has not recovered much ; Major-General Maxey, of Texas, who by the way has an independent in come from his practice, and owns a beau tiful home in Paris, Texas. In t c House there are many briga diers, and a few heavier generals. Gen eral Joe Johnson leads in rank, though his service in the House has not been brilliant. He has a fine insurance busi ness, and his wife, a daughter of Judge McLean, had considerable property. His lx>ok has not paid him much I hear, be ing published under a poor contract. Alabama has done well by her generals, having in the House —Major-General W. 11. Forney, who has little beyond his salary, and Brigadier-General C. M. Shedley who is in about the same condil tion. Georgia has Brigadier-General Phi- Cook, who has a good law practice in Americus, Ga., and who has had four terms in the House. Brigadier-General Dibrell, of Tennessee, is comfortably fixed, and is re-elected to the House for his third term—and Atkins and White thorne, of the same State were generals of State troops. Virginia has Brigadier- General Beale, who is doing well outside of Congress, and General Eppa Hunton, who retires at the close of the present Congress, perfectly able to take care of himself. North Carolina has General Robert Vance in the House, to balance General Zeb in the Senate. Louisiana has General Randall Gibson, who has beemelected to the next House, and to the Senate also. He is a rich man, hav ing had means of his own, and his wife having had some property. General Chalmers is Representative of the fam us shoe-string district of Mississippi, and is moderately well off. This finishes up the list of “rebel” generals in the House and Senate, I think, without omission. There are a number of confederate generalsin the departmen Is and in various service in Washington. First in the im portance of his work is General Marcus .1. Wright, who has charge of the Con- ■ federate records, and who was looking towards a literary connection when he was offered this place that would have ; brought him fame and money. Major- General C. W. Field, «ho fought to the , ■ last day in the morning with Lee, is door-keeper of the house, having former ly had an insurance business that gave him a living, but not much more. Ma jor-General L. L. Lamar, who was a brave soldier, has some position about the house, probably being in the docu ment room. Major-General Cadamus M. Wilqox is with the sergeant-at-arms of the Senate and has little fortune outside of his position. Major-General Sam Jones is in the adjutant general’s office, where he has a good though not a prom inent place. Major-General Harry Heth, who was a classmate and great friend of Burnside, has a comfortable position in the treasury —and this closes the roll I believe of the generals of the Southern armies about Washington in any capac ity, unless General C. L. Stevenson, who was formerly clerk of a congressional committee, still holds his place. The cause of education has engaged the time and gives support to a good many of the old le ders of the boys in gray. General Custis Lee is at Washington-Lee as before noted. General Kirby Smith is chancellor of the university of the I South at Suwanee, Tennessee, his neces- ’ sities making him greatly dependent on his salary. Lieutenant-General D. H. Hill is president of the State agricultural j college of Arkansas, at Fayetteville, at • m salary of $3,500.. He has been poor ever since the war, and lost much time * and money in publishing a periodical ’ that was, however, a creditable and pure publication, and in teaching school. ' Brigadier-General M. P. Lowry has ■ charge of a female school at Salem, Miss., 1 and is prospering finely. Lieutenant- ' General A. P. Stewart is chancellor of ' the university of Mississippi, where he ' gets a good salary and has a fine position. Brigadier-General Lilly is a professor somewhere, I think at Washington-Lee unive sity, and this, I lielievc, closes the list of generals who arc engaged in train- ; ing the young men of the South. And yet there is General J. Argyle Smith, now superintendent of State instruction for Mississippi. There are very few of our old generals who have accepted office from the federal government. Lieutenant-General Long street is minister to Turkey. Colonel Mosby, who won the prominence of a gene«'il, is consul to Hong-Kong. Majer- Gcneral LaFayette McLaws, who was one of the powers of the Army of Vir ginia, is postmaster at Savannah. Major- General James Fagin was United States marshal of Arkansas under Grant, but I believe is out of the service now. Ido not know of any others that hold politi cal appointments, and believe there arc none others. Oh yes, there is General Jack Wharton, of Ixiuisiuna, who took the marshalship of the New Orleans dis trict a few years ago. The railroad business has captured its quota of the generals and pays good sal aries for light and genteel work. Major- General Jo n C. Brown, of Tennessee, is first vice, president of the Texas Pacific, with headquarters at Marshall and a sal ary of SIO,OOO a year and expenses. He hr.’d money before he took this place, having had a practice of SB,OOO to SIO,OOO from soon after the war. Major-General J bn B. Marmaduke is railroad commis sioner of the State of Missouri on a salary of $5,000 a year, on which he lives with dignity and ease. He is a bachelor and will probably leave his position with a competency. He stands high in St. ijouis. Major-Geralen M. D. L. Rosser, one of the most daring cavalrymen that ever drew a sabre, is chief engineer of the Northern Pacific at a big salary, and has made a fortune in lands along the line. He is a bachelor, and divides with Pierce Young the honors with the fair sex. Lieutenant-General John B. Gor don is counsel for the Louisville and Nashville road, ata salary of $14,000, and General E. P. Alexander, the best artillerist of the army, is practical mana ger of the same road at probably as large a salary. Neither of the gentlemen are rich, but will both probably save money from their salary. General R. H. Ran som was in charge of the freight agency of an important Southern line. Major- General E. C. Walthall lives in Grenada, Mississippi, and is general counsel for the Mississippi Central road ata salary of SIC,OO I per annum, and is well off in the world’s goods. There are three of our generals who have become chiefs of police. Brigadier- General R. 11. Anderson, a dashing cav alry officer, is chief ofjiolice in Savannah. Brigadier-General Tige Anderson, is chief of police in Atlanta, and Brigadier- General W. W. Allen, is chief of police in Montgomery, Alabama. Theie is a nunibe- who have turned the sword int? a plough, and are leading bucolic lives Besides the Lies, who nave g< ne to farming, there is Major- General Frank B. Cheatham, who has a fine place in Coffee county, Tennessee, on which he makes a good living. General W. H. (“Red”) J ckson, who married a daughter of General Harding, and has charge of the famous Belle Meade farm, the home of Bonnie Scotland, Great Tom, and Enquirer, and from which came Bramble, Ben Hill, and Luke Blackbam. ; He is rich and is up to his knees in clo ver, literally and deservedly. Major i Gem ral A. Buford has a fine stock farm i that is in itself worth a fortune, being a > gem of the blue-grass. He raises thor oughbreds, none of which are more thor oughbred than himself. Brig dicr-Gen- ■. era! Wirt Adams is getting rich on a > Mississippi fa-m. General Joe Davis is - farming near the famous Beauvoir pace i in Mississippi, but is in moderate circum • stances. Lieutenant-General Joe Wheel- ; er, whose wife was rich, runs a farm, ■ doos a large law practice, and owns a • store. He is rich and is becoming richer, and goes to Congress next session. Major- General Pierce Young is farming in . Georgia, and Gen ral L. J. Polk has a fine stock farm in Murray coun y, Ten nessee. There are few of the gen rals who hold State offices. I may begin with General A. H. Colquitt, who is governor of Geor gia at $3,000 a year and who is quite jaior, although he has valuable lands. General Beauregard is adjutant general of ihe State of Lonisiana at 52,500 a year —which salary is supplanted it is said by a salary of $5,000 for the Ixiuisiana Sta p lottery, of which lie is commissioner. The law of course has its votaries. General Toombs, of Georgia, who is very rich, practices law in a casual way, chiefly representing the State against the railtoads, volunteering for the State. General A. R. Lawton and H. R. Jack son, both of whom are well-to-do, prac tice law in Savann 11, Georgia, and nave large incomes. Major-General Bate has a good practice in Nashville and is look ing to the Senate. General Alpheus Baker, most eloquent of men, practices in Louisville, where he is coming into a good income—which General Basil Duke, who is also in Louisville, has already built up for himself. Major-General 1 Bradley Johnston, whois said to have made a great deal of money in Virginia State bonds, is practicing in Baltimore with a big income, where Brigadier-Gen eral George H. Stewart is also located, and in good shape for a fine practice. Major-General W. Y. C. Humes is prac ticing in Memphis, where he has already amassed a competency, and Brigadier- General C. W. Gordon is in the same city doing nearly as well. General Clingman, of North Carolina, is also practicing law and doing well. Insurance has lost its popularity with the generals, although Major-General B. H. Robinson, now living in Washing ton, has made a snug fortune out of it, 1 and is driving a pair of Bonnie Scotland bays down the avenue—a gallant gentle man and general favorite, and blessed is the mahogany under which his legs are crossed. Major-General D. 11. Maury is at insurance, and has done well, though not so well as General Robinson. Os miscellaneous pursuits there is a variety. General Jubal Early is living at Lynchburg, a Bourbon bachelor, in tolerable c/rcuinstances. It is eaid that he draws s‘>,ooo a year from the Louisi ana lottery as commissioner of special drawings. Major-General Mahone is con sidered rich, having made money in rail road bonds and stocks, it is said, and is new Senator elect from Virginia. Lieu tenant-General J. C. Pemberton isliving quietly and in poor health in Philadel phia, where be lias a rich brother. He is himself in moderate circumstances. He has writ en a book on Vicksburg’s defense and surrender, but I do not know whether or not he will publish it. Major- General S. B. Buckner has had a varied experience. His wife owned large tracts of unimproved real estate in Chicago, which was confiscated, but afterwards recovered. It was then mortgaged and built up —and in the panic was sacrificed for its mortgage money, leaving General Buckner poor. He is now living in Lou isville. Brigadier-General Zack Deas, of Alabama, went into Wall street and made about $200,000, with which he re tired, and is now living in ease. Bri a dier-General P. D. Roddy, the brave and cliivalric cavalryman, also made a for tune in Wall street, but lost over SIOO,- 000 in a few d ys, and went to London, where he is now living as financial agent of some banking firm, in moderate cir cumstances. Brigadier-General J. W. Frazer, who surrendered Cumberland Gap is in New York, in the brokerage business, doin ■ well. Brigadier-General Thomas Jourdan is editor of the Mining Record, on Broadway—a prosperous pa per. Major-General Loring, who served four years in the Egyptian army, is now engineer for a mining company in New Mexico, and is taking chances of a big fortune. General Frank Armstrong has made a fortune by running a “pony” ex press in Texas, and General A. W. Rey nolds, who went t» Egypt with Loriijg, is still there —though out of service. General Tom Benton Smith lost his mind, and was, the last time I heard of him, in an insane asylum in Tennessee. It is a melancholy fact that nearly ev ery general who died or was killed, died in poverty brought about by his devo tion. Raphael and Paul Semmes both died poor, but a daughter of tho former married Luke E. Wright, a promising and prosperous lawyer. G neral Zolli coffer left nothing to a family of five daughters, but they have all married, save one, and have married well. Gen eral Pillow’s death caused- the sale of his house and library which, however, his friends rebought by subscription. Gen eral T. C. Hindman, who was assassinated, left nothing at all, but the people of Helena loved and respected him. This family has many friends. General Dick T iylor died poor; and his two daughters are living with his sister at Warrenton. His book did not pay anything of account. General “Stonewall” Jackson left his wife and daughter without means, but his name lias raised friends for them, one of whom Mr. Wade Bolton, of Memphis, I think, left them $5,000 in his ” d. General Polk left nothing to his fa y, ! . but his son, Dr. Polk, has an immenq practice and distinguished character in New York. General Bushrod Johnson left only one son, who is doing well, and . end Forrest, who left but little, left it ■ with a thrifty and nrssperous son, wlm ■ makes all thatis needed. General Ewell’s wife had about SIOO,OOO worth of prop- • erty in St. Ixiuis, j think, which was PVBMKBKD EVEBY THURSDAY AT BELLTON. GEOROIA. BATES OE SUBSCRIPTION. One year (52 number*), $1.00; six month* U 8 numbers) 50 eent*; three month* (13 numbers). 25 cents. OJice in the Smith building, east of the d.pot. ]NO. 3. saved from confiscation by a friend. Mrs. Ewell died within three days of her husband. General Bragg died without property and his wife lives with her sister in New Orleans’. The history of Ge- eral ■Hood’s children is part of the history of the country. General I). H. Cooper died in poverty, and his’wife lives with her daughter in Texas, I believe. Major- General W. 11. C. Whiting, of Fort Fisher fame, who died in Wilmington prison in ’64, left nothing, and General L. M. Walker, who was killed in a duel with Marmaduke, left but little to his wife, who now lives in Charlottsville. General Cobb—oh, what a cavaliex was there I —left to his family but little of the fortune that his generous heart dis pensed so bountifully in the piping times of pence. Truly it is sad history! The story of men who gave their lives to their coun try, and left nothing to their wives but a poverty that made life a struggle. Braver soldiers never drew sword—purer men never went to battle —whi er-niinded men never went to death. Had the issue of the conflict to which they pledged their honor and their lives been different, a pleasanter record could have been writ ten. As it is, the love and sympathy of a whole people will envelop their widows, their sons, and their daughters—and their names and their deeds shall be part and parcel of the glory of the South. “H. W. G.” In the Atlanta Constitution. HUMORS OF THE DAY. The Yonker’s Otaetie calls the minis ter’s fee “the tax on matches.” We can match that; the shoemaker’s fee is the tax on men’s soles. A little girl reproached with diso bedience and breaking the command ments, said, “Mamma, those command ments break awful easy.” When a man offers to read your for tune ont of the grounds of a coffee cup, set that man down for a cup and sor cerer.—Burlington Hawkeye. The average age of a hog is only fif teen years. This always consoles us when we see a man spread himself over four seats in a railway car. ■ The first time a white man sees an English railway coach, he thinks he has struck a traveling American photograph car on rails. Burlington Hawkeye. Not everybody will be able to see the Naiitch girls, but everybody can get a pretty good idea of the.ir dance by put ting two hornets down the housemaid’s back.— Boston Post. A man in Caton, Steuben County, N. Y., has raised a cabbage around the head of which thirteen smaller heads were clustered. Exchange. Probably the cabbage was on the table. A few days after going to a wake, Bridget asked her mistress for her money. “Are you going to leave?” "Yes' ma’am, I’m going to marry the corpse’ husband. He told me I was the life of the wake!" Saxs his landlord to Thomas, “Yow rent f must ralso, 1 Fin so plaguily pinched for the pelf.” ' “ Kaiee my rent!” replies'ihoiuas, ” Your honor’s main good, For I never can raise it myself.” It is now said that the inventor of the Brush electric light received his first hint from brushing a black cat’s bock the wrong way. This should teach us not to despise the small and apparently use less things in nature. “I say, Clem,” cried two disputing darkies, appealing for decision to a sable umpire, “which is right—dizactly or dezaotly?” The sable monarch reflected for a moment, and then, with a look of wisdom said, “I can’t tell perzactly. ” Toddlekins is a very small man, in deed; but he said ho never minded it al all until his three boys grew up to be tall, strapping young fellows, and his wife began to cut down their old clothes and cut them over to fit him. And then he said he did get mad. “ How can I b«t increase my stock?” Said turner John to Thomas; “ By making six of one,” quoth Tom; ” Ho miracle 1 promise. A simpler process ne’er was known. Whatislt? Well now, a’poein’ You put that yearling cow to sleep, ’Twill make a heller-dolin’. Ymksr'i Oatelle. One night Uncle Harvey, keeper of a poor house down in Maine, was waked by tho groans of one of the old men. “What is the matter?” he asked. “I’m dying. Uncle Harvey," said the old man. “I’m dying; go and get me a doughnut; I must have suthin’ to pass away the time. ” Fitting emblems are not always ap preciated; The neighbors of a poor fel low who died erected a tombstone to his memory, and had placed aliove it the conventional white dove. The widow looked at it through her tears and said: “It was very thoughtful to put it there. John was very fond of gunning, and it is an especially suitable emblem.” Another New Plant. A curious plant has been discovered in Wisconsin, which produces a kind of cotton and flax from the same stalk. An exchange says: It has already been woven into fabrics, and, as any article that will make as good cloth as can be made from this plant will make good paper, it has been called the paper plant. It can be planted in the spring and ent in the fall and winter. It i bleaches itself white as it stands, and it rill .yield three or four tons to the acre. rem a single root that was transplanted i t spring grew twenty large stocks, i h three hundred and sixty-five pods com-lining the cotton, at least sixty seeds <ach. From this root were ob tained “< en ounces of pure cotton, and over a ,>onnd of flax. It is a very heavy plant, and grows from six to seven feet high.*