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PUBLISHED EVERY THURSDAY
-AT-
BKLLTON, GrA..
By JOHN T. WILSON, Jr.
Tbrmi— sl.oo per anaam 60 ceat* for tii
mouthi; 25 cents forthree months.
r*rtie» away front Bellton aie requested
to send their names with anob amounts of
money at they nan pare, "rem 2cc. to $1
NEWS GLEANINGS.
Firemen who have served five years
in Charlotte, N. C., are exempt from
jury duty.
A farmer in Thomas county, Ga., is
going to plant 300 acres in corn. More
corn in the cotton region is desirable.
The bonded debt of Selma, Ala., is
said to be about $400,000, or about
twenty five per cent, of the assessed
value of real estate.
It is estimated that the amount of
damages done in Georgia during the re
cent freshets will amount, in round
numbers, to more than $1,000,000.
It is predicted that Mississippi will be
visited this year by the thirteen and sev
enteen year locusts—an event which is
believed to occur only every 221 years.
For the purpose of protecting sheep
in Buncombe county, N. C., Commis
sioners are allowed, by law recently en
acted, to pay S2O for the killing of a
woli.
Tire Legislature of North Carolina has
passed an act to prohibit the sale of
ardent spirits to minors. Right of action
is given to the parent or guardian or
employer of such minor.
The New Orleans Times says that
there are 150 Texas veterans of the Mex
ican war, who served from 1835 to 1837,
living. They will each receive from
Texas 1,280 acres of land, under the new
law.
According to a San Antonia (Tex.)
correspondent of the New Orleans Dem
ocrat, San Antonia contains about 7,000
Americans, 5,000 Germans ami 5,000
Mexicans, with a liberal sprinkling of
Spaniards, French, Italians, Hungarians,
Irish and Poles, aggregating altogether I
about 21,000 population.
A mass-meeting has been held at Dor- i
Chester, Liberty county, Ga., to consider j
the question of introducing steam navi- I
gation on the Ogeechee, .Sunbury, Rice '
boro and South Newport rivers. There ;
would be freight to and from Savannah,
and fruit and vegetables could be raised I
for the Northern markets.
Only $5,000 is wanting, the Richmond 1
Dispatch says, to secure to the Univer- ,
sity v! Virginia the gift of the finest tel- |
escape in the world, an observatory, and I
an ample endowment of the chair of as
tronomy, the whole valued at $120,000. '
The amount must be secured by April ;
Ist in order to comply with the condi- I
tions of Mr. McCormick’s gift.
Steamers can now transport freight in |
unbroken bulk from St. Antilony’s Falls i
to the Gulf of Mexico, a distance of j
2,161 miles, and from Pittsburg to Fort |
Benton, Montana, 4,333 miles. Lighter
craft can ascend the Alleghany, an ex- i
tension of the Ohio river, to Olean, New |
York, 355 miles above Pittsburgh, and i
the Missouri to Great Falls, near where
that river leaves the Rocky Mountains. .
The Wheeling (W. Va.) Intelligencer i
says that the counties in which the dog
law recently passed by the Legislature
is now in force, by which a tax of fifty
rents and one dollar is imposed respect- j
ively upon male and female dogs, are as I
follows: Barbour, Berkeley, Brooke, I
Grant, Greenbrier, Hancock. Harrison,
Jackson, Jefferson, Lewis, Marion, Mar
shall, Morgan, Ohio, Pleasants, Ritchie ,
Roane, Randolph, Summers, Taylor, I
Tucker, Tyler, Upshur, Wirt and Wood.
Tn the other counties the law is left op- ,
tional, to be submitted to the people on
the petition of 100 voters.
Scale of Titles.
A writer in Chambers’ .Townal, who ,
has traveled in the Western States, has I
discovered the scale by which titles are |
given:
A speaker at an American “Conven
tion,” being addressed as “Colonel,” de- ;
dared he was not even a captain.
“Don’t you live in Missouri?” he |
asked.
He owned that he did, and in a house j
with two chimneys.
“Then I was right,” exclaimed the I
man. “Over there, if a man has three
chimneys on his house, he's a general;
if two, he’s a colonel; if only one, he’s a
a major, and if he lives in a dng-out and |
has no chimney, he’s a captain, any- :
how. ”
A gentleman who is fond of horses
attended church where there was a
somewhat prolonged service before they
came to the sermon. “How were yon
pleased with the services?” asked a
friend. “O, very much, though it did
strike me that there was a good deal of
scoring before they got off.”
The public debt of the Unifed States
is S6B per head; of Spain, $154; of
France, $136; of England, $117; of Hol
land, $114; of Canada, S2B; of Mexico,
$39; of Switzerland, $2.
The whisper of n benntifnl woman enn
be heard further than the loudest call of
duty.— Jialzac. I
The North Georgian.
VOL. IV.
The Match Monopoly.
The most complete monopoly now ex
isting in the United States, according to
common report, is the manufacture of
friction matches. Some time during
last winter, it appears a New England
corporation of large means bought every
factory then in operation, amt it is not
known that there is in the country a sin
gle establishment now engaged in this
business except those controlled by that
concern. The law’ taxing the manufac
ture of matches was ingeniously con
structed to convey the impression that a
purpose existed to make the burden as
light as possible upon match-makers of
limited means, and thus prevent them
from being crowded out of the bus
iness. In its practical application, how
ever, the law was operated most effectu
ally to the advantage of the wealthier
men in the trade. It permits the pur
chase of tax stamps on a credit of sixty
days, the buyer giving bonds to secure
the amount. The ostensible purpose of
this privilege was to give the poorer
manufacturers an opportunity to realize
the tax by sales before the time at which
payment to the Government had to be
made. But the owners of extensive con
cerns found important advantage in the
arrangement. The Government credit
gave them liberty to use their capital in
extending their business and pushing
their product on tho market—a process
which is essential in the prosecution of
any successful enterprise in these days.
Another and more objectionable fealuro
of tho law has operated directly and
strongly against manufacturers whoso
means were small. Persons purchasing
not more than SSOO worth of stamps nt a.
time are entitled to a discount, of 5 per
cent., while upon larger quantities a dis
count of 10 per cent, is allowed. This
discrimination, fur which there appears
tube no other reason than a desire to
lesson the labor of internal revenue offi
cers employed in selling stamps, would
of itself suffice to give the largo Con
cerns control of the market. With these
advantages, it is understood, the large
manufacturers have had another of some
importance in the ownership of pat
ents employed in making ami boxing
matches.
And so it has come about that a single
a-: ■''. iati al of capitalists now controls
tin- match market, and establishes the
pi.ee which the public must pay for tho
privilege of lighting lamps and kindling
fires. The thought of such a monopoly
is annoying to the people, even if the tax
it contents itself with for the present is
net particularly burdensome. Popular
repugnance to it is exhibited in an urgent
d< maud for the total repeal of tho match
hr;, the general belief appearing to be
that, if this obstruction was removed,
persons of moderate means might, be en
couraged to re-engage in the manufac
ture, and thus secure the benefits of
competition in restraining the rapacity of
tire mouoplists.— -Chicago Tlihcs.
Remarkable Accident.
[Virginia (Nov.) Chronicle.l
A most remarkable accident happened
at the Hale A Norcross mine last night.
A cage with sbe men was coining up the
shaft at I I —the hour for chang
ing shifts. When about 600 feet from
the bottom, at a point where there is an
irregular pl.ice in the guides, the cage
suddenly lurched to one side, throwing
the men to the other. Patrick Holland,
who was on the outside, was crowded
oil' Instead of falling to the bottom
and being dashed to pieces, he was safely
lodged on a wall-plate. The, other men
on the eage supposed he had fallen into
the sump, of course. When they
reached the surface they got the usual
sack and boxes and started back to the
sump to gather up the fragments of the
body. As they approached the place
where the man was thrown oft’, they
heard a voice below them telling them
to go slow They did not know what to
make of this strange discovery, never
supposing it possible for Holland to be
anywhere cl-e than at the bottom.
When they saw him safe on his narrow
perch they could scarcely believe their
eyes.
Any one who has ascended a saft
knows how rapidly the wall-plates flit
by when the lantern is held so as to
bring them to view. The cage from
which Holland was thrown was coining
up at the usual rate of speed. How the
dan could possibly have been lodged on
one of these pieces of timber without
being jammed by the cage or knocked
off as it went past him is a wonder. The
wall plate is a square timber, fourteen
by sixteen inches, so that there was very
little standing room for Holland while
he was waiting for the cage to come
down and rescue him. If the shaft had
been so light that he could look down
any considerable distance of the 600
feet between him and the bottom, ho
would scarcely have had the nerve to
cling to his narrow footing. The dark
ness of all mining shafts is a point in
favor of the miners, preserving their
coolness when placed in ticklish posi
tion. A couple of pumpmen will throw a
foot-wide plank across a shaft 2,000 feet
from the bottom. The darkness of the
shaft prevents the thought of the awful
abyss below from being constantly pres
ent.
Not Married.
The street-car was crowded, and the
driver was just about to start, when Gil
hooly remarked to a friend, “Jones is
not married yet, is he?” “Os course
not.” “I thought he was not married
vet, for I saw him carrying home a
broom yesterday.” A red-faced woman
snapped her eyes at Gilhooly, and
pushed a cadaverous, timid-looking man
ahead of her as she got out of the car.
If all seconds were as averse to duels
as their principals, very little blood
would be abed in that way.
BELLTON, BANKS COUNTY, GA., APRIL 7, 1881.
Sawing Wood.
No one ever hears a boy complain
about the back-breaking, soul-killing
hardships of wood-sawing. All such
talk is confined to adults, and it has no
real foundation. There is only one way
to saw wood and take comfort at the
same time, and every boy has that way.
Yesterday afternoon half a cord of four
foot wood was Hung down at the gate of
a house on Second street, and the wagon
had only departed when a boy fifteen
years old appeared with a bucksaw in
his hand. All his actions indicated his
purpose to go through that wood-pile
like chain-lightning, but it took him ex
actly seven minutes to discover that ho
had left the saw-buck in tho wood-shed,
and five minutes more to bring it out.
Some boys would have dropped the
saw-buck wherever it happened and
pitched right in, but this boy spent five
minutes in selecting a locution of the first
water. By this time he had tho pres
ence of three other boys to cheer him on
to victory. These three boys made the
following suggestions in the order given
below:
“I’d hire a masheen.”
“I’d run away and fight Injuns.”
“I’d let the old man do it.”
But the hero went right ahead with
his work. In twenty minutes after his
first move he had a stick of wood on tho
saw-buck. He turned it over four times
before it settled down to his satisfaction,
and then he picked up the saw. A buck
saw is a simple yet ingenious piece of
machinery. Men who were sawing wood
by the day have been known to stand
and gaze at the saw for an hour nt a
time without being able to solve its mys
terious points. This boy picked up the
saw and carefully examined it. In the
course of seven minutes, with the aid of
tho other three boys, he was enabled to
discover:
1. That the teeth were all there.
2. That the frame-work was of beech.
3. That it was in perfect, order, as far
as a boy could judge.
When these discoveries had been made,
a discussion arose as to whether a boy
could saw faster by sawing left-handed.
The vote on this question was carried in
the negative, and now the moment ar
rived for action.
The boy spit on his hands.
He removed his coat.
He humped up his back.
He pulled bis cap over his ears.
Ho had his knee on the stick and the
saw in hand, when a little three-cent dog
down on the next corner run out at a
passing gout. The goat riished into a
yard and a girl was heard screaming.
The saw fell to the ground, the saw-buck
was up-set, and the boy went tearing
down to the corner like a cheap whirl
wind, and when darkness began to settle
down over ’ the face of tho earth here
turned to carry the. saw and buck into
tho woodshed for the night.— Detroit
Free Dress.
Training Circus Horses.
“How long,” asked the reporter, “does
it take to break a horse in?”
“From eighteen months to two years,
for good and sure pad-riding. Caro has
to bo taken that ho does not shy, or
break his gait, but goes round the circus
ring nt an even pace, so that tho per
former can do whatever he wants, by
time. If this is not secured the per
former can never tell where ho is going
to jump. Much, however, depends upon
what the horse is being trained for, all
the best horses being used only for a
special performance. In most cases the
riders, if they arc experienced, train
their own animals, and thus, when they
are ridden, they understand much better
what is requinfl of them. Ducrow,
Aladame Dockrill, Melville, Sebastian,
Stickney, Cooke, Reed, and tho like all
train their own horses and own them.
This system of private training has only
been in practice for a few years. Man
agers of a circus, under the old custom,
were always expected to furnish pad
horses, and those required for two and
four-act performances, so that a per
former going from one company to an
other would always find a horse ready
for him to mount, and in a short time
horse and rider would be able to under
stand each other. Nowadays some ol
the crack stars have as many as eight or
ten horses of their own, most of them
trained for a special performance. They
are very valuable, most of them being
full blooded, and imported from En
gland and France. Great care has to be
taken of them, as they are, extremely li
able to take cold after a ring perform
ance.—. New York Evcninn Mail.
Responsibilities of Heredity,
Son and heir (suddenly dissatisfies
with his stature, his personal appearance,
and the quality of his intellect) —“Aw
what on earth evali could have induced
you two people to tnawwy ?”
Sir Robert and Lady Mawiali—“Tin
old, old stohwy, my dear boy ! We fell
in love with one auothah—aw—aw ”
Son and heir—“ Aw—well—you’re
both such awf'ly good old deaws, that 1
forgive you. But you weally should
have had bettah taste, you know, ami
each have fallen in love with a diffewent
kind of person altogethah, and given a
fellow a chance ? You see, it is all owin'
to your joint interfeawence in my affunws
that I’m under five foot one, and can’t
say boh to a goose, and—a—justly pass
for being the gweatest guy in the whole
country—aw ! just look at me, confound
it. ” [They look at him and then at each
other—and haven’t a word to say. 1
A citizen of Richmond, Virginia, being
asked in London how bis town had flour
ished since the fall of the Southern Con
federacy, replied: “Oh, exceedingly
well; we live on red herrings and glorious
recollections!”
Might Take the Croup.
Several months ago Mrs. La Rubble
died, and since that time La Rubble has
been paying attentions to old MissWhce
zer. a rich old maid of Cleveland.
“ I do wish that you would bring your
little girl to see me the next time you
come,” requested Miss Wheezer, the
other night, when La Bubble was taking
his leave.
“ I will bo rejoiced, but she is such a
little romp that I am afraid you will be
tired of the visit.”
“Oh, no,” answered Miss Wheezer,
with a sudden unbending of frame char
acteristic of a heave, “I ean never grow
tired of a visit which involves your own
presence. ”
•• Thank you. Good night;” and after
lingering one moment more to squeeze a
prudish hand, La Rubble left, and, as
the young novelists say, strode down the
street.
Next evening La Rubble and his little
girl called. Miss Wheezer pressed the
child to her—well, say bosom—and cov
ered the little upturned face with kisses.
Releasing herself, the child ran to her
father, and, leaving him, went on a mis
cellaneous excursion around the room.
“How did you like Endymion, Alias
Wheezer?”
“ Oh, splendid 1 and do you know the
work should endear itself to all women,
in that it places our sex so high in politi
cal Influence.”
“ We had eggs and chicken for break
fast when my ma died,” exclaimed the
little girl.
‘.‘Beaconsfield well knew the influence
of woman,” said La Rubble, sending a
reproachful glance at his daughter. “ I
have been a close student—”
“ Aly pa talk my ma’s clothes to a
place where there is three great big gold
balls, bigger than I could lift, and—”
“ But do you think,” remarked Miss
Wheezer, “that in vivid portrayal Endy
mion is quite equal to Vivian Gray ? ”
“There is tho same outcropping of
almost insatiate ambition, but—”
“One day,” began the child, “one
day—”
“ As I was saying, the same ambitious
outcropping—”
“ One day my—”
“Ambition that ever swells in—”
“Ono day my pa come home— ’’
“Hush, Lena,” said La Rubble with
poorly counterfeited tenderness. “Hush,
you are not well. I don't know what’s
the matter with that child.”
“Croup, probably,” suggested Aliss
Wheezer.
“ r *hat amhitiou,” eo'itinucd La Rub
ble, “ which boils in the cauldron of hu
man nature—”
“One day my pa came homo so sick
ami my nm shoved him over on the bed
and pulled off his boots and my pa struck
at my ma and hit his hand on the bed
post and said the av.fulest—”
“Come, dear, you are not well to
night. I should not have brought you.”
“ It was no doubt injudicious to bring
her out into the night air,” observed
Afiss Wheezer.
La Rubble walked so fast going home
that tho child could not keep up with
him. Next morning he received a note
which read very much as follows :
“ Dear Sir—Yon needn’t call any more.
I am not in very good health, and my
friends think that if I expose myself [
might take the croup.” Cleveland
Leader.
Rich People of the Olden Times.
That we have some very rich people
in this country there is r.o doubt, but
where are they, asks the Cincinnati Star,
as compared with the Roman aristocrats ?
Vanderbilt may be able to give his check
for $50,000,000, but when Cyrus returned
from the conquest of Asia he was rated
at $500,000,000. Mrs. Astor may give
an entertainment at the expense of $25,-
000, and Airs. Mackay may give dinner
parties that cost $50,000. lint a festival
given by Ptolemy Philadelphus cost $2,-
230,000. Alexander’s daily meal, frugal
as it was, cost $1,700; and money was of
so lit tle account to Claudius that he once
swallowed a pearl that was worth $40,000.
James Gordon Bennett has been known
to give many thousands of dollars to
people for whom he had acquired a fancy,
but according to Tacitus, more than
$97,000,000 was given away in a similar
manner by Nero. Queens of fashion in
New York and San Francisco have ap
peared at bails wearing jewels estimated
to have cost $200,000, which pales into
insignificance when compared with the
alleged fact that Lollia Taulina wore
jewels valued at $1,662,500, and that
when she wore these it was only on the
the occasion of a plain citizen’s supper.
Over $50,000 was spent in providing a
funeral for an eccentric New Yorker
who left directions how the money should
be spent, but the obsequies of Hephaes
tion cost $1,500,000. Americans have
died and left millions to their sons who
have squandered it all in a score of years,
but Antony “got away with” $735,000,-
000, and Tiberns left the snug little sum
of $118,000,000, which Caligula squan
dered, to the last penny, in less than
one year. The late lamented Sothern is
said to have spent SIOO,OOO in a year in
good living, but it is said that Pegellus,
the singer, spent money at the rate of
$40,000 a week. And then there was a
Darius and Heliogabalus and Lucullus
and Lentalus and—well, this will do for
to-day.
There are a great, many men born in
the world who imagine that they were
born with genius, and lie down on the
sofa and wait tor an inspiration until
some other fellow, who thought himself
a dunce, rises by hard labor to a compe
tency, buys the sofa, and leads the wait
ng genius out by the ear. This is not a
joke; it is a fact. _
Whoever is suspicious incites treason.
Voltaire.
Expense of Fuel.
One of the discomforts of a winter in
Continental Europe is the lack of such
fires for heating as wo think essential in
American houses. If one has a long
purse, and does not mind the expense,
they can be had there as here, but were
one in Paris or Rome to indulge in such
roaring fires as we keep constantly going
in furnaces and grates, it would be re
garded even by the wealthy as an ex
travagance surpassing that of the Roman
Emperors. To be sure, the houses are
so built as not to be as susceptible of
changes of temperature as those in which
tho majority of our people live. The
walls and partitions are thicker, the
windows and doors closer fitted, and they
retain the heat longer. Then the stoves
in use there for heating are constructed
so that a comparatively small part of the
heat is wasted. But even with all these
precautions an American, accustomed to
generous and blazing coal and wood
fires, finds tho apartments warmed suf
ficient for the comfort of the native, cohl
and uncomfortable, and shivers as he re
calls the fires blazing on his native
hearth.
He learns with surprise in Paris that
the wood with which his dinner is cooked
or his shins warmed is sold by the pound,
and is weighed out to the purchaser as
carefully as butter, sugar, or coffee. A
handful of twigs, such as in America
would be allowed to rot, costs five cents,
and better wood at proportionate prices.
So fires on tho continent are a luxury,
and in many houses, except for cooking,
no fires are seen the year round.
But if fires are expensive and fuel
scarce and high in Continental Europe,
what shall we say of Japan, where char
coal, split wood, bnish and dried grass
are used for cooking and heating booths,
and is hardly ever used outside the cities,
for purely heating purposes. The char
coal is made in wooded regions, and car
ried to the settlements in straw sacks on
the backs of men and horses. It cost
from twenty-five to fifty cents the 100
pounds. Cut wood is sold in small bun
dles of six sticks, each stick being about
eighteen inches in length by two inches
in diameter, and is sold at about one
cent a bundle. A good comfortable fire,
such as our people must have to keep
them warm, would cost several dollars a
<lny.
But our extravagance in fuel dimin
ishes with the years and the increasing
cost of fuel. We will travel a good Ways,
and have then to seek communities re
mote from railroads, to find such wood
tires as kept the log cabins and thin
frame houses of the pioneers warm. The
great fire-places, with their- wide fronts
and immense chimneys, their great
andirons, back-logs, fore-logs, and sec
tions of seasoned split wood four or five
feet long, piled high, are hardly known
save in remote settlements. But we
make almost as extravagant use of coal
as our fathers did of wood, and will
probably continue to do so till the cost
of it compels a study of economy in the
methods of heating houses, and servants
are instructed how to manage fiffes so as
to secure the most heat with the least
amount of fuel.— Cincinnati Commer
cial.
If elastic gum is warmed, then ex
panded and wound in a spiral upon a
glass tube or wire, and cooled for a short
time in a cooling mixture, it shows no
tendency to contract; but when it is sub
mitted to hot water it returns quickly to
its original length. The phenomenon
can also be made to appear without the
use of the cooling mixture. If one holds
heated gum a second in an expanded
condition it shows no disposition to le
turn to its original length, but if one im
merses it in hot water it contracts to one
fourth or one-fifth of its original length.
Maxwell has found that similar phenom
ena are produced in gutta percha.
For the purpose of determining the
capacity of a horse to undergo the priva
tions incident to a state of siege, _ a series
of experiments have been made in Paris.
The results show: That a horse may
hold out for twenty-five days without any
solid nourishment, provided it is supplied
with sufficient good drinking water; that
a horse can subsist on barley five days
without water; and, thirdly, that if a
horse is well fed for ten days, but insuf
ficiently supplied with water throughout
this period, it will not outlive the eleventh
day. A horse which had received no
solid nourishment for twelve days was
nevertheless in a condition to draw a load
of six hundred pounds on the twelfth day
of its fast.
A New York boarder asked a diminu
tion of his rent because of the dampness
of his house. It was naturally refused,
and tho boarder gave notice that he
would leave. He got even with his land
lord by planting a beautiful mushroom
in his bed-chamber, and whenever any
one came to see the apartment he would
call to the servant girl: “Bridget, see
here, what ia thia mushroom doing in
this room? It seems to me that I told
you to take it away;" to which Bridget
answers: “I did as you told me, air, but
another must have grown there since.”
Judge Caldwell, of North Carolina,
at one time was obliged to call upon an
old darkey to open his court. It was
evidently the'first time he had acted in
the capacity of bailiff. He began: “O,
yes! O, yea! O, yes! De hono’ble, de
Co’t is now on de bench.” Then, after
hesitating a moment, as if not knowing
what to say, he seemed to hit it, and
ended by exclaiming, “An’ may de Lawd
have mercy on hia soul 1” Caldwell re
torted immediately, “That’s right, my
man; that’s right; if there ever was a
Court that needed the mercy of God, it's
this one.”— Harper's Magazine.
Some men are ao improvident that if
thousand dollar notes were selling fora
cent a piece, they couldn't lift a mort
gage on a two-cent postage stamp.
Published Etekt Thumday at
BELLTON, GEORGIA/
- .„. . , ■ > -
RATES OF '.SUBSCRIPTION.
Oae year (52 numbera), $1.00; aix noatha
numbers), 50 cento; three months (13
numbers), 25 cents.
Office in the Carter building, west of the
depot.
M). 14.
HUMORS OF THE DAY
Damp cellars—bar-tenders.
Ice cakes should never be served hot.
“Give us a song!” is a plcase-sing re
quest.
The highest priced coal is about Le
high.
A misplaced switch may ruin a loco
motive or spoil a boy.
What is the prime object of soldiers’
drill? To make holes in the enemy.
Nothing keeps a man from knowledge
and wisdom like thinking he has both.
A jot-tina'l heads an article, “A Luna
tic Escapes and Murries a Widow.” Es
caped, eh? We should say he got
eaught.
The condition of the Utes is said to be
one of discontent. The last lot of paper
collars sent them had the button holes
omitted.
Adjectives are the millinery of litera
ture, and, like tho trimmings of a dress,
they should not be allowed to obscure
the original fabric.— Hostap Courier.
A sakcastic writer speaks of an enemy
who “is but one step removed from an
ass.” He'd better make it three or four.
The animal has a long reach backward.
Did you ever see a woman slip down?
Os course you never looked, but then
you've seen them. She didn’t flourish
around like an intoxicated jumping jack,
filling Hie air with arms and bad words,
ns a man does; but, fche simply abbrevi
ates, so to speak, like a ei'pshed hat or
patent drinking cup, while .you stand by
and wonder you never notided that hole
in the sidewalk before.
CONCNDBVMS.
’Twas Hurry who the alienee bloke:
•• Mi.-s Kato why are you like a tree ?”
1 !• tuse. brcause—l’ni b<Mird, she spjke.
“Oh, nn; herauee you’re woo'd,” said be.
“ Why nre yon tike a itee,” she said.
• I havo a- limit ? ’ he io low,
Jit r iuiswt'i- made tho yr tine rnim red:
* I'ccjuise x uu’re eJpj'.v, don’t you know ?”
“Oid e UDirp/’ she nfked, “ why are you now
A tree Jlc couldn’t quite perceive.
“ l leave sometimes and ninke a bow,
And you can ylways bowr-and leave.”
JI. C. in Whitehall Timet.
“You look so happy that I suppose
you have been to the dentist and had
that aching tooth pulled,” said a Galves
ton man to a friend with a swollen jaw.
"It ain’t that that makes me look
happy. I’he tooth acres worse than ever,
but I don’t feel it.” “How’s that?”
“Weil, I feel so jolly because I have
just been to the dentist, and he was out,”
and the happy man ent a pigeon-wing
on the sidewalk.— Galveston News.
1 discussion arose in a coffee-room as
to the nationality of a geiideman at the
other end of the room. “He is an En
glishman,” said one, “I know by his
head.” “He’s a Scotchman,” said an
other, “I know by his complexion.”
“He’s a German,” said another, “I know
by his beard.” Another thought he
looked like a Spaniard. Here the con
versation rested, but soon one of them
spoke. “I have it,” said he, “he’s an
American; he’s got his legs on the table.”
They were watching the seagulls whirl
ing in graceful circles above tho waters
of the bay, while the rays of the sinking
sun covered the landscape with a flood of
gold. Finally he turned to her, and with
a voice trembling with emotion, asked:
“Darling, if ive were seagulls would you
fly away with me and be at rest ?” To
which she answered, with her gaze fixed
on a far-off mass of castellated clouds:
“No, George; I’d let you fly away, and
then I’d have all the rest I wanted here.”
A Soldier’s Dream.
Just before the battle of Cedar Creek
a camp sentinel who was off duty tem
porarily and trying to put in a little
sleep, dreamed that he went out on a
scout. A mile to the right of the camp
he came upon a log barn, and as it began
to rain just then, he sought shelter, or
was about 10, when he heard voices and
discovered that the place was already
occupied. After a little investigation he
discovered scouts hail taken up their
quarters for the night in the place, and
he therefore moved away. The sentinel
awoke with such vivid remembrance of
the details that he asked permission to
go over and confer with one of the scouts.
When the log barn was described to this
man he located it at once, having passed
it a dozen times. The dreamer described
the highway exactly as it was, giving
every hill and turn, and the scout put
such faith in the remainder of the dream
that he took four soldiers, one of whom
was the dreamer, and set out for the
place. Three Confederate scouts were
asleep in the straw, and were taken with
out a shot being tired.
Three days before the affair at Keeley’s
Ford a corporal in the Sixth Michigan
Cavalry dreamed that a brother of his,
who was a sergeant in another company,
would have his horse killed in action,
and would almost immediately mount a
dark bay horse with a white nose. Within
five minutes both horse and rider would
be killed by a shell. This dream was
related to more than a score of comrades
fully two days before tho fight. Early
in the fight the sergeant’s horse was
struck square in the forhead by a bullet
and dropped dead in his tracks. It was
scarcely three minutes before a white
nosed horse, carrying a blood-stained
saddle galloped np to the sergeant and
halted. He remembered the dream and
refused to mount the animal, and soon
after picked up a black horse. The
white-nosed animal was mounted by a
second corporal in another regiment,
and the horse and rider were torn to frag
ments by a shell, in full sight of four
companies of the Sixth.— New York
Commercial Advertiser.
K man in a Pennsylvania town has
twenty-nine children. Strangers pass
ing tho bouse on washing days «re at a
j loss to determine whether it is a school
or a laundry. _____