Below is the OCR text representation for this newspapers page.

PUBLISHED EVERY THURSDAY -AT- i BELLTON, GA. By JOHN T. WILSON, Jr. Tkrms—sl4M) per annum SO oeaU for aii months; 35 seats forthres mouths. rartievawsy from Bellton are requested to send their names with sued amounts ol money ai they can pare, from 2co. ’o #1 NEWS GLEANINGS. The factory at Selma, Ala., uses an nually about 1,500 bales of cotton. It is reported that persons from a dis . tance are rapidly buying the coal lands of Tuscaloosa county, Ala. The Vicksburg Herald says that Yala busha county, Miss., has imposed a tax of $1 on each dog, except one to a fam ily, in the ceunty. The Tampa (Fla.) Tribune says that t sheep-shearing in South Florida is be gun, and that the wool clip this year will be larger than ever before. 1 he pistol law has been signed by Gov. Churchill, of Kansas. It imposes tine and imprisonment for thirty days, and allows the court no discretion. The Brady land , in Rockbridge county, ' Va., 7,000 ceres of mountain land, as sessed at ten cents per acre, has been sold to a Pennsylvania firm for $23,000. Petitions to the Legislature of South Carolina are circulating in Marlboro asking the total prohibition of the man ufacture and sale of ardent spirits in the State. Citizens living on Seneca river, in Anderson county, S. C., say that it is very seldom now they ever catch a shad in that stream, from the fact that a dam across the Savannah river, at Augusta, prevents them from coming higher up the stream than that city. The Memphis Board of Health has offered to the National Board of Health the quarantine grounds and buildings on President’s Island for use as an inspec tion station, and has requested the Na tional Board to place an Inspector or In spectors on duty at New Orleans and such Southern ports as may be deemed necessary. Since the inauguration of the Board of Harbor Commissioners at Norfolk. Va., the total amount of excavation is 1,317,898 cubic yards. The board has granted permits to the seaboard and Koonoke railroad to reclaim a large por tion of the Portsmouth flats adjacent to its North-street depot wharf, and to con struct thereon extensive docks and piers. I he < harleston News and Courier re ports that in Greenville county, S. C., there were recorded last year 2,340 liens, averaging about 215 each, making an aggregate of $105,300 in property pledged by the farmers for supplies. Tin’s season thus far there have been 972 liens given, for amounts ranging from $5 to $25 f >, averaging about sls, making a total of $43,740. The Memphis Avalanche recalls the fact that Randolph, an ancient and de cayed pest village of Tipton county, lenn., was once the commercial metror* olis of West Tennessee. Fifty years ago it was a place of far more importance than Memphis. It never fully recov ered from the disastrous blow struck by the panic of 1837. It was burned finally in 18153 by the Federals, the Confederate Col. Faulkner having fired into a pass ing steamer. New Orleans Democrat: It is said that wheat in Northern Texas is begin ning to break down in just the same manner as it did last year; what the cause of this was no two jiersons seemed to agree upon at the time, but later it was pretty generally conceded to be the work of a worm. The worm has not yet been seen on the ground, but it may be that it is working on the root of the grain, and will make its appearance on the surface later. Anderson (S. C.) Intelligencer, March 31: The work of immigration to South Carolina is being successfully pushed forward by the Agricultural Department of this State. Col. A. P. Butler, the Commissioner of Agriculture, who is temporarily in charge of the matter, has introduced and settled in different parts of South Carolina over 100 German families since the Ist of January, and is continuing the work in a most suc cessful and promising manner. Atlanta Constitution : In the Stone wall Cemetery at "Winchester a large number of soldiers from Georgia lie un buried—probably fully 500. Virginia and Maryland, by erecting handsome monuments, have acknowledged their indebtedness to their own heroes, and it is now proposed that the peopleof Geor gia shall attest their gratitude and regard for her dead soldiers by erecting on the lot where so many of them sleep a fitting monument to their memory. Wilmingtcn (N. C.) Star: We regard this matter of the dairy and of sheep The North Georgian. VOL. IV. husbandry as of the greatest importance to our people. Both can be made to add to the wealth of North Carolina many millions of dollars annually. The other day we copied a paragraph from* the Elizabeth City Carolinian, which showed that canned vegetables were sold in the stores of North Carolina that were raised on the bleak lands of Maine, where it is winter six months in the year. Such a fact is a blistering shame. The largest single contribution to public purpose ever made in Charleston or in South Carolina was the act of one of the most successful planters in the State, Mr. Ephraim M. Baynard, who, in 1865, seeing the need of educational opportunities at home, set aside the con siderable sum from his fortune of $168,- 200 in securities of the city of Charles ton as a permanent endowment fund. It is preserved unimpaired, and is now held in four per cent, city bonds, giving sta bility to the college of Charleston. New Orleans Picayune : Census Bul letin No. 77,*just issued, shows that the colored population of Kansas numbers 43,096. In .1870 there were 17,108. If we allow an increase of twenty-five per cent, during the decade, there ought to have been 21,400. We have thus, say 21,700, to represent the exodus move ment from the Southern States. It is probable that about double this number went to Kansas, but finding the condi tions of life somewhat different from what was represented, fully half became dissatiffied and came back to their old homes. Speaking of street improvements, the Atlanta Constitution says: “The work that has already been done has added heavily to the value of the property in the neighborhood. Near old Peachtree Mr. Gaines is assessed over $3,000 on an investment of S9OO made less than a year ago, and Mr. Hoke Smith over $7,000 on an investment of $1,900 made about a year and a half ago. These are but lucky samples of the advance that will be recorded all along the line. The friends of old Peachtree insist that it will soon equal new Peachtree as a resi dence street. The Whitehall improve ment will bring just as decided results, and will start a boom in West End property as soon as it is opened and made the thoroughfare between that de lightful suburb and the city. Out near Richardson street, a little work done by the street force in clearing a new way has resulted in the building of twelve new houses within a radius of less than 200 yards, and others are going up, three only of the twelve houses being finished. Six of them aie built by Mr. Wadley as tenement houses; the others are homes. On one new street the increase in taxa ble property in one year was over $160,- 000.” Natural Sounds. Among the natural sounds of obscure origin with which mythology and sci ence have been occupied are the rustlings and so-called voices which seem to come from the air, sometimes from the bosom of the earth, and which have been re marked upon in all ages. Autonrieth refers them to the same class as the noises like thunder or the firing of can non, which the hearers often fail to trace to an apparent cause. Sometimes they seem like the trampling of horses, or the roll of drums, or the clangor of trumpets; at other times, like human voices. In the last case the sounds are those which arc common to all men, and may be interpreted by each hearer as in his own language. To the Romans they spoke Latin, to the Greeks Greek, to the Scotch Highlanders Gaelic. History has notices of these sounds; the Bible descriptions attribute to them a religious significance. They are re ferred to when it is related that Samuel heard the voice of Jehovah three times in the temple; when Habukknk, pro nouncing the curse on Babylon, spoke of the stones crying out in the walls ; when the glad mountains and waves are mentioned in the Psalms ; in the ac count in John of the voice that cried out from heaven when Jesus went into Jeru salem, and the people wondered whether it was thunder or an angel; in the story of the conversion of St. Pau), and in the account of the pouring out of the Holy Spirit on the day of Pentecost. The profane history of antiquity also tells of voices from above, and ascribes to them a supernatural significance and an influ ence over the hearts of men. Instances in point are sounds of battle and the clash of arms and the neighing of horses, heard by night, according to Pausanias, on the field of Marathon ; the address of the god Pan to the Athenian Ambas sadors to Sparta, tohl of by Herodotus, and the voices heard by both armies after the battle of the Romans with the sons of Tarquin. The Germans have myths of the din made by the war god aiid his marching hosts, of the wild huntsman, of strange cries and of the barking of dogs heard in the air ; and the French have stories not unlike them. —Exchange. _ It does not improve a potato to have specks on its eyes. BELLTON, BANKS COUNTY, GA., APRIL 14. 1881. ELOCUTIONART ASPIRANTS. Queer Person. Who Think They Conu. Dramatic Talent. (From the New York Bun.] “There are some queer persons who try to learn elocution,” a well-spoken professor said. “It is really surprising to see with what persistence those who are positively disqualified will strive to acquire the do clnmntory art. Public schooLeducatiou is responsible for a good deal of this. Take a class of college, boys; they arc al most men. Their tastes and capacities are thoroughly marked. It is obvious that some of them have no aptitude for elocution. Their voices are inadequate; their action is irretrievably bad. Yet the curriculum requires that they should de claim regularly. No amount of natural disqualification relieves them from this duty. The result, is that they only fur nish sport for their companions, and go through the college course with only a perfunctory pel formiuice of this part of their duties. Os course, this in direct conflict with the most advanced thought on the subject of education. Both com mon sense and science dictate that it is a waste of time, to try to teach some persons some things. Vast sums of money and long periods of time might lie saved by refraining from attempts to perform the impossible in teaching. “But there are some funny instances of persons of more mature years trying t<> learn elocution. Persons who have had little or no education in school, who can neither read nor pronounce, towhom a proper name is an insurmountable ob stnclo and a word beyond the common place a rubicon, think they can bo fitted to shine in elocution. Those persons always trip up ou pronunciation. They' make the most ludicrous blunders with out the faintest, conception why they are laughed at. You may say that we ought not to try to teach such persons. You might as well say that a dry goods mer chant should not sell unbecoming goods. Here is a young fellow who is doing moderately well iu business. He goes i.it.i company and finds that elocution is all tin rage. He sees others brought into prominence by readings and recita tions. He thinks that ho can make his mark, and he comes to me or some other professor to get instruction. 1 had a young grocer who took a notion to read Shakespearean pieces. He tripped over every unusual word, he stumbled over every proper mime, and he absolutely fell down on the point of memory. It was only by dint. of hard hammering that I could got him drilled into one twenty minute reading. Finally I got tired of taking his money, and had to send him away. “Then I had a fat, fussy little fellow, who took n notion to play Hamlet with a dramatic association. I told him frankly that his physique was not fit for the character. Imagine the melancholy Dane w ith a paunch! I had a big butcher once who wanted to play “Claude Melnotte.” He was better fitted to lug a side of beef than to toy with “Pauline.” It seemed wrong to take bis money, but 1 was afraid to tell him the truth. I be lieve the audience cured him at his first ami last attempt. But the climax of ab surdity was a little bantam fellow, who took a fancy for heavy parts. He want ed to play Coriolanus or ‘ Richard 111., or other parts that required voice and action. I never saw him try ing one of those characters without thinking of the fable of the toad and the ox. His tragedy was always very funny. When I first began teaching I used to try to get these fellows to listen to the truth. I got no thanks for my honesty, and only lost my customers. Now, when any one comes to mo to be taught I do the best I can to teach him. I never get tired taking their money as long as they don’t get tiried paying. The Grot Bell of St. I’niil’g. St. Paul’s has always possessed, and still owns, a great bell. From time im memorial the citizens claimed the east ern part of the churchyard as the place of assembly for their folk-motes. “In the great steeple there situate (which, we may remark, was an isolated structure), was their common bell, which being there rung, all the inhabitants might then bear and come together.” "’Tims Stow Dngdale supposes this building to have sto<«’ where is now' St. I’aul’s School. So far back as the 15th of Ed ward I. (1286) mention is made, in a </«o warranto, of the custom of ringing a bell in this tower as one existing long ere that date. Henry VHi. lost tower, spire,, and bell at a game of hazard to Sir Miles Partridge, who quickly over threw Ins winnings and melted the bell. For not far short of two centuries St. Paul's had no great bell. That which it now possesses was the gift of William JII. Il was originally east in the reign of Ed ward 1., and was hung at the gate of Westminster Hall, to notify the hour to the Judges. It was afterwards called “Edward of Westminster,” and subse quently “Westminster Tom.” William gave it to the Cathedral of St. Paul, whither it was brought on New-Year’s Day, 1699. Since then it has been twice recast, each time with an addition of metal. It weighs more than two cwt. over five tons. It is ten feet in diameter and ten inches in thickness of metal. The tone is very fine in the musical note A, concert pitch. The honr is struck by a large hammer, and falls on the outside rim of the bell by its own weight. The boll is only tolled that is to Say, the clapper is only used—on the death of one of the royal family, or of the Archbishop of Canterbury, the Bishop of London, the Dean of St. Paul’s or the Lord Mayor.— London City Press. drop. David Swing says that thel charm of fishing lies partly in the tact I that it is a pursuit after the unknown, the unseen and the ardently expected. Ancedete of Hairy Yelverto.n The rules and regulations for the ar nuigiiig null carrying out of affairs of nonor—th<fduel-during the latter part ■f the last century, and the beginning of ho present were exhaustive ami precise. Certain infr actions of social order were ’eld to be unpardonable, A blow, for instance, could not be overlooked; and hen there were certain acts set down as equivalent to n blow—such ua giving the io direct,, and so on. hr short—wo ■peak now particularly of Ir- land—when i mini has been guilty of offering insult •f tiny ’ ’ i, it was nt once determined, • i referer.i e to the rules, what the repar tion must be. The sword and pistol vorc alwui s in order, though the thirty ax articles of th<' Code, sometimes called ■The Pmjte Commandments,” were raini'd with a special aim to protect the iiiietly-disposerl and weakly citizens Tom insult, as far its possible; and the ■esort to arms, under this code, was voided where it could be properly 'one. This introduction will enable us better <> understand the pith of the following •lory, w hi. ill was tohl to me by a sou of : ho sod. Among the gay mid festive of the fash ionable society of Cork there was not me more prominent t him was Barry Yel erton, th» wealthy and eccentric nephew 4" Lord Avonmore. In the use of the « <>rd anil pistol he was a master. He could shoot a finger from a glove in the dr, at twenty panes, hit the bull’s eye ’nineteen times in twenty nt thirty paces, raising h pistol, mid firing nt the word; while at s .ord-play ho was deemed well nigh invi able. One night, at the Mayor’s ball, where a large and select company were gath ered. Barry allowed himself to drink to ■ i state of wild intoxication; and, while in this unfortunate condition, he man aged to insult a number of orderly men. Some, he jostled violently; to others ho used grossly abusive language; mid still others he insulted by treading cruelly on their toes. What more he might have done? or what the closing scene of the night Slight have been, had ho been suffered to keep on, there is no telling; but at length two of his friends, assist ing his valet, got him away from the scene. On the following morning, when he was able to realize what ho had done, ho wrote a note to each of the men whom he, had insulted, appointing n meeting for that aAernoon, at three o’clock, at the riding-room of the regimental bar racks; mu’ these notes were dispatched by trusty friends. At the appointed hour three-and twenfv m 'i were assembled, caeli of them liavmg Arnie iu answer tc regular summons; and in duo time appeared Barry Yelverton, with swords mid pis tols borne by a sqrvant, while in his own hand he carried it blackthorn staff. Upon referring to a paper which ho held, he found that to six of the gentle men present he had given offence which the code made equivalent to a blow; so to each of these, in turn, he offered his bbickthdrn staff, bidding them to take satisfaction by striking him over the back, in retaliation, as severely as their needs of revenge, or redress, might dic tate. To five others he had offered af front which might be wiped away by simply craving pardon; and to these he handed each a card, with the simple sentence thereon written,—“l ask your pardon!” To the remaining moiety he turned and said, with a polite bow: “To you, gentlemen, lean only offer such satisfaction as you may demand. Here are swords and pistols; I acknowl edge your right, and I will give each his turn, as 1m shall elect.” We need hardly add that the affair ended in a hearty laugh and a jolly time. The wounded honors were all healed, and Barry had established himself firmly in the good opinion of those whom he had offended. Minus E. A correspondent of the Chicago In ter Ocean writes: You newspaper men have been publishing as something marvelous a string of verses in which the letter “E” is “conspicuous for its ab sence,” as the phrase goes. Pshaw! That letter is very much over-estimated. One hardly misses the little joker if he guts used to doing without him, pro vided he is allowed to write as poets generally do, without sense, too. Thus: John Knox was a wight of wondrous might, And his words rang high and sb rill, For bold and stout was his spirit bright, And strong was his stalwart will. Kings sought iu vain bis mind to chain, And that giant brain to control, But naught on plain or stormy main Could daunt that mighty soul. John would sit andfilgh till morning cold Its shining lamps put out, For thoughts untold on bls mind laid bold, And brought but pain and doubt. But light at last on bls soul wm cast, Away sank pain and sorrow ; His soul is gay iu a fair to-day, And looks for a bright to-morrow. And so on ad infinitum. So, you see, a fellow can write with ease without E’s (if you will forgive a cheap pun). How to Prevent Horses Slipping. The methods adopted in Germany for preventing the slipping and falling of horses on the public roads is as unique as it is simple. The smith, when finish ing the shoe, punches a holo in two ends; as soon as the shoe is made he taps in a screw thread and screws into the shoes, when on the horse’s foot, a sharp-pointed stud an inch in length. With shoes thus fitted the horse can travel securely over the worst possible roads. When the horse comes to the stable the pointed stud is unscrewed and a button screwed i in. No damage can then happen the i horse, and the screw holes are thus pre ! vented from filling up. A flattered woman is always indul- Igent.— Chenier. Decr-Himting Willi Daniel Webster. In the winter of 1813-44 deer were quite plenty in Plymouth woods. Daniel Webster was then nt Marshfield. Word was sent to him that the Kingston gang was going on a deer hunt the day be fore Thanksgiving, with invitation for him to join us, and all were to meet at the old flaxing place at Smelt pond at sunrise, sharp. By 8 o’clock his honor appeared with a gentleman friend; and Samuel and Waldo F., Uncle Thomas 8., and my father and myself. We all had old-fashioned king's arms, percus sioned, except Mr. Webster and his friend, who had double guns. It was a line, frosty morning and our party lively. We had two good hounds. Samuel and Waldo were to take the hounds and drive Watson’s valley. Uncle Tom was to drive over and take Nick’s rock stand. The rest of us were to hurry over to the Carver road and string out at the guide board crossing. We had scarcely reached our places before wo heard the welcoming voice of the hounds in full cry and soon the thundering echoes of two king’s arms at the head of Watson’s valley, mid then echoing down the valley camo: “Whoop-oh! Whoop-oh! Look out, look out!” The bounds were coming directly towaid us. I soon detected something coming down the blind road at my right, and when within forty yards it stopped behind a bush. I shot at the follow I saw, when almost immediately two deer came out of the bushes at my left and crossed the road within a few yards of me. My father, who stood on my right, and Mr. Webster and friend, who stood nt my left, all fired and one deer fell. I ran into the woods where 1 had shot, and, not finding anything, returned, to find that Mr. Webster and friend had jumped into their wagon and ran their horse to West Bond road to iutereept the other deer at the crossing, as the dogs had gone on in track of the other. Father advised me to hurry on and he would stay there with the dead deer, and wait for Sam and Waldo to come up. Uncle Tom had come up aud kept on in his carriage toward West Pond, and while he was driving the deer came within gunshot, and he shot at it from his wagon. The deer, slightly wounded, now came back directly to ward the giiide-boiud crossing again. I, hearing the dogs, hurried bock. The deer jumped into the road some ninety yards off and we all fired. The deer fell, but gained his feet and bounded away, falling at every jump. Running up tiie rond we all chased it except father, who reloaded, mid running the did mare overtook and shot the d< it. We now had n joyful luneli, washing it down with something good from Mr. Webster’s Inilih basket. Then vp cpnehlded to Hart for home, as if v ; about 2 o’clock. We decided that Mr. Webster and his friend had •shot the buck and my father had shot the doe. Mr. Webster gave us $1 each, and ho and his friend took the buck, which was a nice one, mid father gave the other two men 50 cents each and took the doe. as three of us were nt my father’s. I, feeling a little dissatis fied nt my first shot, took one of the hounds and went up the blind road where I first shot. The hound, snuffing around, soon found a large red fox dead within ten feet of where I shot nt him. Wo now took our bells from our wagon boxes and returned home jingling, as was the custom if successful.— Cor. For est and Stream. They Drank Him Up. In the neighborhood of Marseilles, not long ago, was discovered an ancient Ro man burying-ground, containing, among other interesting graves, that of Consul Cains Septimus, wherein a quantity of antique weapons and coins were found, and, moreover, an amphora —the inscrip tion upon which was all but illegible containing a small quantity of a thick, reddish liquor. The amphora, emptied of its contents, was submitted to the in spection of an eminent archaeologist, who, after bestowing extraordinary pains on the deciphering of the mutilated char acters engraven upon its surface, de clared it to be his opinion that they in dicated the presence of genuine Faler nian within the vessel, adding that Caius Septimus, a jovial consul of considerable repute as a judge of good wine, had ob viously ordered that a flask of the best vintage in his cellar should be buried with him. The scientific gentleman who had discovered the consul’s grave and taken possession of its contents, upon learning the true character of the liquid relic in question, at once started for Paris with his Falernian in a glass decan ter, and, there arrived, invited a dozen of his friends, members of the Academy of Inscriptions, to a dinner at one of the leading restaurants. At desert he pro duced the “ consul’s wine,” carefully poured it into four tiny liqueur glasses, and handed it round to his guests, ex horting them to drink it, reverently and upstanding, to the immortal memory of Caius Septimus. The glasses had scarcely been emptied when a telegram was brought in by the head-waiter on a salver, and laid before the founder of the feast. He opened and glanced at it, and then, letting it fall to the floor, fled from the room, with a cryof terrible agony. One of the startled Academicians picked np the message and read it aloud. It ran as follows : “Marseilles, 7p. m. Don’t drink contents of amphora. Not Faler nian at all. Have deciphered inscription on foot, which previously escaped my no tice. Red liquid is body of Consul Caius, liquified by special embalming process.” But the friendly warning came too late. The archfeolagist and his Academical colleagues had drank up the consul to his lost drop. The Egyptian emblem of a serpent with its tail it its mouth is the earliest historical reference to the garment, still in vocue. known as the “swallow-tail. ” Published Etmby Thdmday at BELLTON, GEORGIA; RATES OF ZUEBOUPTIOIf. Oue year (52 numbers), $1.00; six months 1'26 numbers), 50 cents; three months (IS numbers), 25 cents. Office in the Carter building, west of .the depot. INO. 15.- HUMORS OF THE DAY. A black subject—the coal question. What burns to keep a secret? —seal- ing-wax. Electbio belles—female telegraph operators. The spot for husbands with scolding wives—Shrews-bury. When would a volunteer corps most need a cook? When they have got a range. Even dumb animals exhibit attach ment. The horse is always attached to the vehicle which he draws. An old farmer on being informed that one of his neighbors owed him a grudge, growled out: “No matter, he never pays anything.” ■ A paper, in giving an account of a shooting affray, says the wounded man is expected to recover, as the pistol-ball lodged ill his “dinner-pail.” A steamboat captain, in advertising for an excursion, closes thus: Tickets twenty-five cents; children half price, to be had at the captain’s office. *7, 1 ‘Empty is the Cradle, Baby’s Gone, ” is the tittle of the latest serio-idiotic song. It will probably be followed by “Empty Is the Bottle, Papa’s Full.” “Put upon my tombstone,” said the dying man, “an epitaph stating that I was a scoundrel, thief, and brnte. Then people will think I was a good man. Epitaphs always lio so.” “ I believe the jury have been inocu lated for stupidity,” said a testy lawyer. “That maybe,” replied his opponent, “ but the bar and the court are of the opinion that you had it iu the natural way.” Lieutenant Commander Gobringh says the obelisk will endure in our climate for 8,640 years. We advise our readers to remember this. They may get the laugh on Gorriugo in the year 10,440. “Abe yon a good rider?” asked-a liv ery man. “I am,” replied the customer, and just then the horse snorted, stood on its hands, came down and bucked. And the customer went on, from his high seat in the haymow: “See how easily I get off.” “To what degree,” asks an inquiring friend of Mr. Beecher, “may a person at the present day be ignorant without being guilty ?” “That depends on tl.< person," replies Henry Ward; “somO people are born with a genius for ignor ance,” Her lijis were like the leaves, he said. By Autumn’s crimson tinted; “ Some people Autumn leaves preserve By pressing them.” she hinted. The meaning of the gentle hint The lover did discern, And so he clasped her round the neck, And glued his lips toher’u. A little five-year-old boy astonished his mother one day by urging her to sea if his chin whiskers hod not commenced to sprout. Another, standing before her and looking up into her face, inquired, “Ma, what’s the reason I ain’t a man now? I’ve got a jack-knife and a pocket book.” “JL should like to know,” said little Allie, after church one Sabbath, “what makes the minister say what he does always when he reads a hymn. ” “What does he say?” asked mamma. “Why, ho always says ‘short Peter,’ or ‘long Peter,’ or some other kind of Peter, when there isn’t a word about Peter in the whole hymn 1” THE TURKEY. Proud bird of (lie barnyard, blithesome and fre», A murderous bludgeon is hovering o’er thee— A fleet-footed urchin, a hard-hearted bub, Will hit you a rap with more’n a stuiled club. Make the most of thy time, for soon thou’lt bo caught, And thine own precious head to the block’ll be 1 trough t. Then gobble! and gobble I and gobble away, Thyself will be gobbled at no distant day. A rent to thy soul and jieace to thy ashes, A dinner thou’lt make and cheap sundry bashes; A breakfast, perhaps, and a light supper, too, And then be dissolved in a thin, carcass stew. A young lady at an evening party found it apropos to use the expression, “Jordan is a hard road to travel,” but, thinking that to lie vulgar, substituted the following: “Perambulating progres sion in pedestrian excursion along the far-famed thoroughfare of fortune cast up by the banks of the sparkling river of Palestine, is, indeed, attended with a heterogeneous conglomeration of un forseen difficulties.” At a lecture, the lecturer had occasion to speak of the style the Turks have of shaving the head all but a tuft on top, which, he said, was probably left to as sist the resurrection angel in bringing them up at the last day. Johnnie looked up at the smooth, shiny head of his father, and then whispered to his mother: “Pap won’t have any kind of a chance, will he?” Jews. A writer in the English Contemporary Review states that there “are more Jews in Berlin than in the .whole of En gland, or in the whole of France. The Mayor of Berlin is a Jew, so was the late President of the German Parlia ment. Two-thirds of the Berlin lawyers are Jews ; the whole of the so-called Liberal press is in Jewish hands ; and the bankers, financiers and leading shop keepers of the capital are of the same race. In the watering places and health resorts of Germany the people who live in the best hotels and most luxurious villas, drive the finest equipages, and wear the most extravagant raiment, are Jews. ” Fast Talkers. When Gambetta delivers a speech he pronounces 230 to 240 words a minute. An ordinary speaker pronounces only about 180 words in the same time Lord Macaulay used to pronounce 330 words in a minute. Out of every 100 inhabitants in the United States, sixteen live in cities.