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Xofth PUBLISHED EVERY THURSDAY —AT— BFLLTON, GA. By JOHN T. WILSON Jr, per «• c«»t* for sb month!, 25 cents forthree months. tn /rom Bell Jon are requested to send their names with such amount® of money they can pare, from 2cc. to $1 NEWS GLEANINGS. There are 8,456 masons in Alabama. Jacksonville, Ala., has excellent water works. Aberdeen has the largest hotel in the State es Mississippi. Alabama ranks fifteenth in the pro duction of iron. There are five hundred Sunday-schools in Mississippi. There are 1,100 miners at Pratt Mines, Ala., 175 being.convicts. Birmingham’s (Ala,) assessments for 1881 double those of 1880. The Texas and Pacific railway track . is now laid 292 miles west of Dallas. A large furniture factory is being successfully operated in Shreveport, La. Macon county, Alabama, is out of debt, no one in jail, and the sheriff spends his time fishing. Cattle, in considerable numbers, are dying below Chattanooga, Tennessee, of some unknown disease. Enough sweet potatoes will be made in Merida this year to supply the Uni ted States. A mammoth hotel is to be erected at the Hot Springs, Arkansas, by a com pany from Maine. Six hundred new horses and mules are required to supply the demand at Abbeville, S. C., every vear. " Twenty-nine hundred and fifty agri cultural liens have been filed in Fair field, S. C. The members of the broken bank at Aberdeen, Mississippi, have been indic ted under the new statute which makes it a penal offense to receive money on deposit in a bank when in a failing con dition. The Macon (Ga.) Telegraph and Mes senger repqrts the arrival of a member of the fish commission with 1,800,000 shad, which were promptly placed in Ocmulgee river. Knoxville (Tenn.) Tribune : United States Senetor Howell E. Jackson, of Tennessee, has purchased the elegant residence of W. B. Shaw, on Vermont avenue, Washington, at a cost of $20,000. • Claflin University, at Orangeburg, S. C., is for colored students exclusively, and is supported by the State, Conner-1 ted with it, by special act of the Legis-I lature, is a branch of the State Agricul tural College and a Mechanics’ Institute, the university as a whole being directed by co-operating boards of trustees. The university has three departments—col lege, normal school and grammar school. The total number for 1880-81 numbered .388. Connected with the university is the Baker Theological Institute, where young men are trained for the ministry. General Francis A. Walker, superin tendent of the United States census, telegraphs to the Enquirer-Sun, of Co lumbus, Ga., that a clerical error has been made in the population of Colum bus. It should be 10,123. The Enquirer- Sun says that this is correct according to the returns made by the enumerators, but adds: “We are confident that it falls short of the population of the city by more than two thousand inhabitants. Within three-quarters of a mile of the court-house there is a population of not less than twenty thousand people, but we can not claim them, even though nearly every one is directly engaged in business in the city.” The Two Girls of Frostburg. Two young ladies for the past four years have had control of a farm of one hundred and sixty acres near Frostburg. They have plowed, sowed, reaped, built fences, raised hogs and performed the other countless duties incident to a pastoral life. In addition to their out side duties the care of a widowed and in valid mother has been a tax on their energies. One of the ladies is a shoe maker, and all work of that kind used by the family is executed by her. The house in which they live is large and roomy, yet these two girls, whose ages, by the way, are twenty-two and twenty, have made all the carpet, and made it well, too, painted a number of farm scenes and family portraits in oil, and filled up the otherwise vacant spots with waxwork, etc. Besides, the fact that they are good musicians, the fact that they never shock your refined ear with ungrammatical remarks, is also note worthy. Go to that much-abused village ' of Punxsuatawney, and, after inquiring for the location of Frostburg, walk in that direction just three miles and you will reach the home-made home of Em ma and Manilla Black.— Pittsburg Dispatch. Beecher says “we pray too much.” This explains why the average news paper man’s breeches always bag at the knees, — Titusville Sunday World. The North Georgian. VOL. IV. tOST, A HOT. Tg went from the old homo hearthstone, Only six years ago, A laughing, frolicking fellow, It would do you good to know. Since then we have not see him, we say, with nameless pain, Tberboy that we knew and loved so We shall never see again. One bearing the name we gave him Comes home to us to-day, But this is not the dear fellow We kissed and sent away. Tall as the man he calls father, With a man’s look in his face, Is he who takes by the hearthstone The lost boy’s olden place. We miss the laugh that made music Wherever the lost boy went. This man has a smile most winsome, Hjs eyes have a grave intent; ’’ e know he is thiukiffg and planning His way in the world of men, And we cannot help but love him, But we long for our boy again. We are proud of this manly fellow Who comes to take his place, With hints of the vanished boyhood In his earnest, thoughtful face; And yet comes back the longing For the boy we henceforth must miss. Whom we s nt away iroin the hearthstone Forever with a kiss. THE NEWSPAPER. 1. i-Ti-klali Jone,. Editor oftlio Flnpilovdlc, Brawl n Few Nkrtelien from Nature. [From tlie Steubenville Herald.] The editor of the Evening Flapdoodle sat in his sanctum the other morning, just before beginning his day’s work, and thought he had brought his paper about as near perfection as possible for an ordi nary-sized town elose to a half dozen big cities, and he was wondering how ho .might further improve it, when his cogi tations were interrupted by an acquaint ance coming in. "Hello, Mr. o’.ssors,” he facetiously said, “writing up editorials with the shears, eh?” The editor tried to smile nt the old joke, and the visitor went on. “I tell you what it is, Jones, you have a pretty good paper, but what do you want in a town like this with long editorials ? Give us short ones. You can’t mold public sentiment, you must simply echo it.” Then ho left, and Jones told his associate not to write any long editorials that day, as he proposed, for once, to make the Flapdoodle just to suit every subscriber who wanted a change. In a half hour along came a wicked fellow who talked newspaper a long while, and then said he didn't see any use of Sunday reading, nor any other religious matter in a pa per, and if it was his he would bounce it all. The editor said nothing, but when the man went away he told his Sunday editor , not to send any matter for that day. Then Jones rested and thought for a few minutes, and a pious old party dropped in. As he knew a good deal about the business in its moral aspect, he talked along, and at last said that no newspaper could be decent which ad mitted to its columns any sensational matter, any advertisements other than the most high-toned, any slangy squibs, or anything which could not be read without a blush by the most capriciously fastidious. Jones was silent, but later he went and ordered all that matter set aside. So far, Jones thought ho was getting things to suit pretty well, and then another man camo in, and like the others, knew all about the business of editing a paper. Ho was a city politi cian, and said, “Mr. Jones, you don’t have enough politics. Why don’t you throw out these farm notes, and kitchen receipts, and odds and ends of old news, and telegraphic brevities which we get in the other pa pers and give us politics? That’s what the children cry for.” Again was Jones silent and later gave orders for the ex pulsion of all this objectionable matter and waited for the next one. He came pretty soon, and he bad a coffin for a coat and a shroud for a handkerchief, and he smelt like the dust which blows off of a skeleton. Said he, “Jones, I like your paper, but what do you run that funny business in it for? It’s silly, stale, and flatter than last year’s ale with the bottle left open. What does a man want to laugh for anyhow? This is a vale of tears and we should always remember that in the uncertainty of life death inay cut ns off with an idle laugh upon our lips.” “That’s so,” groaned Jones. “I’ll cut every line of fun right out,” and off he hurried and out went all the funny business. As he went home at noon he met a lady who said she didn’t see what they wanted to fill a paper full of politics for, because nobody read that. “Don’t they?” said Jones, “then out she goes,” and when he got back it all went out. “I’m bound to please ’em all” said the editor, “If I have to buy a new of fice. ’ ’ Right after dinner a man of business proclivities came in and said he didn’t see any use of “these silly little per sonals and them short local items that didn’t amount to anything anyway. ” If ft was his paper he would have some tiling of a higher nature or let the place go bare. Jones listened and told the foreman to whack out all that sort of stuff at once. Then he felt easier, till a lot of pretty girls came in, and, after making a purchase, asked him what a newspaper was filled full of advertise ments for; nobody ever read them, and one said she was going to stop taking the paper if he was going to fill it up that way. Jones told the young lady he would have a paper to suit every one, or rather •made after the suggestions of eeery one, and he hoped she would not find fault. Then he went and or dered out every ‘ad.’ and smack and smooth, and waited for the next man. He came along pretty soon, and said he could stand anything but poetry, and that was his abomina tion in a newspaper, and it never ought to encounter the columns of a local jour nal, because it was meant for magazines, and that sort of papers. Jones took it in, and went out and ordered all his fine BELLTON, BANKS COUNTY, GA., JUNE 9. 1881. poetry knocked down. Then he waited again, and a woman camo in, and said the fashion notes were no good, because the magazines had them all in greater quantity, and anotherlhing she didn’t like, was the markets. “ What good was them!” she said. “I don’t know,” he replied, “so I’ll throw ’em out.” “ I hope you will,” she answered, and went away. In ten minutes the markets and fashions were on the standing galley. Jones began to look around, and as he was studying, a small boy said to hjm that “marriage and death' notices was mighty thin leadin’,” and Jones slung them clear out into the corner. After this change he went over into the count ing room, and an old man wtts tfiero waiting to pay his subscription. “It’s a good paper, Jones, but in this place you only want to take notice of local affairs, and let all the miscellaneous and general business go,” and—then Jones gave the old fellow a receipt and rushed back and took out all the miscellaneous an<# gen eral matter that was left, and as he took out the last handful a friend came through the offico and critically examin ing his surroundings, said, “ The Flap doodle is a good paper, Jones, but I do think you have the ugliest head on it I ever saw. Why don’t you change it? I’m certain I never would let such a head appear on a paper of mine.” “All right,” said Jones, and off came the head. “Now, Mr. Foreman,” he con tinued, “lockup the forms and send them down to the press room.” The forms were duly locked and went down, and the paper came out and was dis tributed as usual. The next morning, the politician, and the solemn man, the friend, the school girl, the woman, the small boy, and all the rest of them were standing around the Flap doodle office with blank sheets of paper in their hands; not a line, not a word, not a sign of anything on it but column rules, with nothing between. “How is this?” said each to the other, “and where’s that fool editor, to impose on us in this way ?” White they were thus talking, the devil came in with a tetter from the editor, which the old man read to the crowd. It ran as follows: “Dear friends, you all think you know how to run a newspaper, and when you come to me with your suggestions I hate to toll you differently, so I have fol lowed your advice and you see what you have as the result. If you will be kind enough to mind your own business half ns well as I do mine, and try to think I know a little something, while you don’t know it all, I will give you a good newspaper, and whenever I don’t giro you your money’s worth, then come and tell me so, but don’t come telling me how I should do my work, when I have devoted years to it, and you have never given it an hour’s study. “I am yours truly, “Hezekiah Jones, “Editor Flapdoodle.” Thon those good people looked at their blank paper and their blank faces, and not one said a word except the pro fane man, who remarked, “Damme, the editor is right; let’s go and mind our own business,” and Jones crept out from behind the counter, and that evening issued a tip-top paper, chuck full of all sorts of persona) and local items, and news, and everything, and there was peace in that town for the space of a long time. The Fox’s Advice to the Hare. One day a fox discovered a fine chance to capture a pullet for his dinner, the only drawback being the fact that the farmer had set a trap just in the path which any depredator must travel. In this emergency the hungry Reynard hunted around until he found a hare, and, after a few remarks on the state of the weather, the scramble for office, the Whittaker investigation and tho Turkish question, he said : “I was just thinking, as I overtook you, what impudence some folks have.” “ How ?” “ Why, I met Miss Pullet a short time since, and she boasted of being able to out-ran you.” “ The brassy creature I” exclaimed the hare. “Why, I can run as fast as she can fly 1” “ Certainly you can, but she’s doing yon great injury among your friends by her stories. If I were you I’d see her and warn her that this thing must stop." “ I’ll do it 1 I was built for speed, and everybody knows it, and I won’t have no pullet boasting that she can out run me. Come along, and show me where she is.” “ Well, I’ll go as a special favor to you, of course,” humbly replied the fox, “ and, to show Miss Pullet what the foxes think of the hares, I will let you take the lead and follow in your footsteps.” As they neared the coop the hare be gan to arrange a little speech of greet ing, but he soon had other fish to fry. He walked into the trap with eyes wide open, and ere he had recovered from the shock the fox had secured his dinner. “Sayl Say! I’m caught!” yelled the hare, as he struggled with the trap. “So I observe,” was the reply. “And what is your “ To get away as soon as you can !” Moral : Every neighborhood scandal lias three lies to one truth. No person becomes a tale-bearer except to forward some scheme of his own. When a fox is anxious to preserve the reputation of a hare, let the hare look out.— Detroit Free Press. The following Is placarded in the theater at Durango, Col.: “From and after tliis date all persons who wish to gain admittance to the auditorium of the ( oliseum must leave their weapons at the front bar, where checks will lie given for them. ” The Southern Soldier. In the winter of 1863 the First regi ment of Virginia Artillery was in winter quarters at Frederick Hall, Va. The Second company of Richmond Howitz ers was camping on the grounds of Dr. Pendleton. Here an incident occurred which illustrates how little regard the volunteer had for army regulations. Lieut. C., of the Salem Artillery, was a graduate of the Virginia Military Insti tute at Lexington. He made himself quite obnoxious to the boys by his strict military discipline, whether in the field or camp, or in the winter quarters. It was his great delight to be officer of the day,,on which occasion he would do all he eould to impress the -men with tho idea t'.at he was au fait in army ,»oglxlatinnS. One bight he rode up to the place where, the Second Howitzers were parked and yelled out in a very loud voice, “ Where is the sentinel on this post ?” Tho sentinel was sitting on a ruptured bag of corn, engaged in parching a quantity of the grain, more for the pur pose of passing the time away (of course) than with any intention of satiating his appetite ffor all good soldiers wifi re member tnat an appetite was an imple ment not marked down in the catalogue of a Confederate soldier’s accouter ments), and he replied; “It ain’t a post; it’s a sack of corn.” “ Where’s your corporal ? ” “ Sleep, I reckon." “ Why don’t you walk your post ? ” “ Didn’t 1 tell you ’twa’nt a post ? ” “ Who’s corporal of this guard ? ” “Billy McCarthy, Second Howitzers; sleeps in second cabin at head of line on left side,” replied the sentry, all during the conversation keeping his eye on his frying-pan, which he continued to shake to keep his corn from burning. “Youngman,” said Lieut. 0., “you don’t seem to know the first duty of a soldier. Hew long have you been in the army?” Three years, one mouth, ten days and eighteen hours, when the relief comes round. I always keep it to the notch,” replied the sentry, singing a few snatch es from tho popular song of those days: “ When tho cruel war i« over ” “Why did you not rise, salute me and walk your beat when I came up ? I shall report you to headquarters in the morning for neglect of duty.” Buying which the Lieutenant departed and soon disappeared in the darkness. After giving him sufficient time to get off some distance, the sentinel mounted the pile of corn and yelled out: “ Hollo there, mister ! ” “ What’ll you have ? ” was the reply. “ Who are you, anyhow? ’’ The Lieutenant answered: “ I am Lieut. 0., officer of the day.” “Oh! shucks,” replied the sentry; “blame my hide if 1 didn’t tliink you was Gen. Lee.” Poet-Laureates of England. Tho custom of crowning a poet with laurel originated among tho Greeks, and was adopted by the Romans, who bor rowed this, as many other things, from their more cultured neighbors of the East. The poets who received the crown were the ones w ho succeeded in the con tests. In tho twelfth century the cus tom was revived in Germany by the Em peror, who invented th* title of poet laureate. Petrarch was crowned in 1341 at the Roman capital, which event at tached new interest to the title. The early history of the laureateship in Eng land is traditional. Tho story runs that Edward 111, in 1367, emulating the coronation of Petrarch, granted tho offico to Chaucer, with a yearly pension of 100 marks and a tierce of Malvoisie wine. Ben, rare old Ben Jonson, mentions Henry Bcogan as the laureate of Henry IV. John Kav, or Cain, was court-poet under Edward IV, and Andrew Bernard hold the same office under Henry VII and Henry VIII. John Skelton received from Oxford, and subsequently from Cambridge, the title of poet-laureate; and Spenser is spoken of as the laureate of Queen Elizabeth, because of his hav ing received a pension of £lO a year when be presented her the first books of the “Faerie Queen.” In 1619 the “order” was formally established by James I, who granted Ben Jonson, by patent, an annuity for life of 100 marks, and thus secured his services. In 1630 the laureateship was made a patent office in tho gift of the Lord Chamberlain. The salary wan increased from 100 marks to £IOO, and a tierce of Canary wine was added, which was commuted in Southey’s time for £27 a year. There was from that period a regular succession of laureates. The performance of the annual odes was suspended after tho final derangement of George 111 in 1810. Tho poet-laureate from the time of Southey has written what ho chose and and when he chose. Wordsworth ivroto nothing in return for the distinction, and Tennyson has written very little. The following is the list of the laureates from Jonson’s day to date: Ren Jonsonl63o-1687 Wm. Davenportl637-1668 John Drydenlß7o -1688 Thomas Snadwelll6B9-1692 Nahnm Tatel693-1714 Nicholas Rowel7l4-1718 Lawrence Eusdenl7l9-1730 Colley Cibberl73o-1757 Wm. Whiteheadl7sß-1785 Thomas Warton■ ■■■ 1785 1790 Henry James I’yel79o 1818 Robert Southev..lßl3-1848 Wm. Wordsworthlßl3-1850 Alfred Tennysonlßso Wedding Anniversaries. The wedding anniversaries are as fol lows: First year, iron; fifth year, wooden; tenth year, tin; fifteenth year, crystal; twentieth year, china; twenty-fifth year, silver; thirtieth year, cotton; thirty-fifth year, linen; fortieth year, woolen; forty fifth year, silk; fiftieth year, gold; sev enty-fifth year. diamond. England’s Rulers. Tho Norman line began with William the Conqueror; then comes in succession the houses of Plantagenet, Lancaster, York, Tudor, Stuart, the Commonwealth, Stuart-Orange, Stuart, and Hanover. William the Conqueror was the sixth sovereign of Normandy. Henry 11, the first of the Plantagenets, was the son of Matilda of Scotland, a direct descendant of Edmund 11, surnamed Ironside, who was the son and successor of Ethelred 11, born in 989, and King of the Anglo- Saxons in 1016. Henry IV, as the last of tho Plantagenets (Richard II) left no children, was the eldest son of John of Gaunt, Duke of Lancaster, fourth son of Edward 111, and of Blanche, daughter and heiress of Henry Plantagenet, Duke of Lancaster, great grandson of Henry 111. Edward IV, the first of the House of York, was descended from the fifth son of Edward 111, as the Lancastrian Kings had descended from the fourth son of tho same sovereign. Henry VII, the first of tho Tudors, was a descendant of Henry V. James I of England, and VI of Scotland, was the son of Lord Darnley and Mary Queen of Scots, and his right to the succession rested on his descent from Henry VII through his greatgrandmother, Margaret. Charles II was the second child among sixth of Charles I, and started anew the Stuart lino at the restoration. Mary, who with William of Orange, ruled Britain, was a Stuart, as was also Anne, “the good queen.” George I, of the House of Hanover, was descended on his mother’s side from James I. The following will show the length of the reigns of the several houses: Years. The Norman linelo66-1154 Plantagenetlls4-1399 Lancasterl399-1461 Yorkl46l-1485 Tudorl4Bs-1603 Stuartl6o3 1619 Commonwealthl649-1660 Stuartl66o-1688 Stuart-Orangel6Bß-1702 Stuartl7o2-1714 Hanoverl7l4 Tho following will show at a glance the rulers. There were often a number of queens, and, as space is limited, only tho actual rulers’ names are given: Norman— Tudor— Williamlo66-1087 Marylss3-1558 Wm. Rufus..loß7-1100 Elizabethlssß-1603 Henry 11100 1135 Stuart— Stephenll3s-1154 James 11603-1625 Plantagenet— Charles 11625-1649 Henry 11....1154-1189 Commonwealth— Richard 1.. .1189-1199 Parliamentary Johnll99-1216 Executive...l649-1653 Henry 111. ..1216-1272 Protectorate.. 1653-1660 Edward 1....1272-1307 Stuart- Edward 11...1307-1327 Charles 11.... 1660-1685 Edward 111..1327-1377 James 111685-1688 Richard 11... 1377-1399 Stuart-Orange— Lancaster— William and Henry 1V... 1399-1413 Mary 1688-1694 Henry Vlll3-1422 William 111. ..1694 1702 Henry VI. ...1422-1461 Stuart- York— Anne 1702-1714 Edward 1V...1461-14831 Hanover— Edward V.. .1483-1483 George 11714-1727 Richard HL. 1483 1485 George 11... .1727-1760 Tudor— George 111... 1760-1820 Henry V 11... 1485-1509 GeorgelV. ...1820-1830 Henry V111..1509 1547 William IV.. .1830-1837 Edward V1...1547-1553 Victorialß37 Matrimonial Methods. To show that tho habit of declaiming against the beautitudes of matrimonial | life and protesting that the nation is to j be ruined if a period is not put to fash ion is no new thing, we extract the fol lowing from tho Connecticut Herald, printed in the year 1823: “As it is idle to hope for reformation in those who are possessed with the fashionable mania, and as the want of cash seems to be the obstacle to matrimony, I would beg leave to propose a plan, which may prove beneficial to both sexes. It is not a new one, but has been so long out of date that it will at least possess the charm of novelty. Lot all marriageable [ girls, young and old, be assembled an nually at one place. Let them be put up by an auctioneer one after another. The rich will pay a high price for the handsomest. The money thus received should be bestowed as a settlement on the more homely, whom tho auctioneer should present in regular order, asking if any one would accept such an one | with such a sum. This plan was prac- I deed with great success among the As- | Syrians and several other nations of antiquity, as any one of our ready-made arclueologists will admit. By it the rich will be able to support their bar gains, of course, and the second-chop wives—to use a flowery and celestial idiom—will bring something to support their husbands and their own extrava gance; no one being obliged to accept a damsel if she has nothing but love and duty to offer.” The Eagle and the Kite. An eagle, overwhelmed with sorrow, sat upon the branches of a tree in com pany with a kite. “ Why," asked the kite, “do I see you with such a rueful look?” The eagle answered, “ I seek a mate suitable for me, and am notable to find one.” “Take me,” responded the kite. “I am much stronger than you. I have often carried off an ostrich in my talons.” The eagle, persuaded by these words, accepted the kite as a mate. Af ter the election, so to speak, was over, the eagle told the kite to fly off and bring back the ostrich it had promised. The kite soared aloft and returned in time with a miserable little mouse in an advanced state of decomposition from the length of time it had lain on the ground. “Is this,” said the eagle, “the faithful performance of your prom ise tome?” The kite unblushingly re sponded : “ You must know that to ac complish any object there is no lie I will not tell.” The only moral to this fable is that the people should not always send to the Legislature the man who talks loudest with his mouth.— Galveston Hews. Published Evert Thumbat at BELLTON, GEORGIA; RATES OF [SUBSCRIPTION. One year (52 numbers), $1.00; six moatbs C'6 numbers). 50 cents; three months (IS numbers), 25 cents. Office in the Cirter buildin?, weit of th depot. NO. 23. HUMORS OF THE DAT. When things go to D K how C D they B come. Many a man who thinks himself a great gun is nothing more than a big bore. “Keep cool and you command every body,” remarked St. Just. He stood in with an ice company. A boy who won’t try is like truth, because the boy won't endeavor and truth won’t end ever, either. Money mon, of many minds, Take to “straddles” and to “ blinds.” Many tish come in to see; Many gulls they prove to be. Lowell Courier. As a rule book-keepers are ink-lined to be pensive. Will some one kindly tell us if a blushing seamstress is not a flushed sewer? “There is no disgrace in being poor,” we are told, and we’re howling glad of it, for there are enough other disadvan tages about it, without that one. Maid of Yonkers, ere we buss, tell me, will you make a fnss?—New York News. Man of Gotham, ere you risk your life, tell me, will you inform your wife?— Yonkers Gazette. A Richmond physician says that if people will take a bath in hot whisky and rock salt twice a year, they will es cape the rheumatism and colds. But wouldn’t that spoil the whisky? Disgusted man says: “Why don’t hotels find some substitute for the ever-’ lasting beefsteak for breakfast?” Bless you, lots of ’em do. Cowhide is the favorite substitute.— Boston Post. Her name was Eva, and when Charles Augustus called the other evening and asked her to bo his darling wifey, she gently thrust him from her and sweetly said: “Not this Eva. Some other Eva. Good Eva.” A Rhode Island clergyman was given permission to sing “The Sweet Bye and Bye” in an insane asylum. Many pa tients were moved. So was the clergy man. A lunatic moved him clear down stairs. “Hi! where did you get them trous ers?” asked an Irishman of a man who happened to be passing with a remark ably short pair of trousers. “I got them where they grew,” was the indig nant reply. “Then, by my conscience,” said Pat, “you’ve pulled them a year too soon!” In Boston: young lady— “By the way, Mr. Gosoftly, have you read Bascom’s ‘Science of Mind? ” ’ “N-n-naw. I’m not reading much now a-days. I pass my time in original thought.” .T thetio young lady (with much sympathy)—“How very dreary, to be sure.” It was their first night aboard the steamer. “At last,” he said tenderly, “we are all one, out upon the deep waters of the dark blue sea, and your heart will always beat for me as it has beat in the past?” “My heart’s all right,” she answered languidly, “but my stomach feels awful.” “Prisoner, you are accused of having stolen the complainant’s pocket-book; do you plead guilty or not guilty?” “Guilty, your Honor.” “What was the motive that impelled you to commit the crime?” “I had a note coming due next day, and could not bear the thought of having my name dishonored!”— Figaro. When a husband becomes angry and swears before his family, he is not so much to blame; he doesn’t know how it sounds. His wife, really, is to blame— she ought to swear, too, to let him hear how it sounds. Isn’t this sound logic?— Kentucky State Journal. Well, we’ll be—ahem—yes—that—is—we’ll be com pelled to say that it is.— Steubenville Herald. rr —\ —jlzj: . x Salaries «f British Ministers. The salary list of the British Govern ment shows the relative rank assigned to Washington as a diplomatic station by the European powers. The British Minister at Paris receives an annual sal ary pf 850,000 ; at Vienna, 840,000 ; at Constantinople, 840,000; at St. Peters burg, 839,000 ; at Berlin, 835.000 ; nt Pekin, 830,000 ; at Madrid even, 827,- 000; while at Washington Sir Edward Thornton is obliged to live on 825,000 and a very considerable number of al lowances. In point of grade the Euro peans rank Washington practically with the missions to Brazil, to Japan, to the Hague and to Lisbon. Broom Com. Broom corn was introduced into this country by Dr. Franklin. He saw*a seed on a broom, planted it, and the seeds from this single plant were the beginning of broom corn as an American agricultural product. The credit of the broom-making industry is due to the Shakers, who, raising the plants in their gardens, manufactured the brooms and sold them for 50 cents, or more, apiece. Immediately after the war, so great was the profit from its cultivation, that it was soon overdone, and the many who had rushed into tho business were soon discouraged and abandoned it. Now it is cultivated in all parts of the country. A significant but melancholy com ment upon the value of the work actual ly accomplished by the much valued Boston schools is found in the fact that a prominent lawyer who Wished a copyist, recently was forced to reject a large number of applicants who had graduated from our high school, for the simple reason that not one of them could spell common words even tolerably.— Boston Courier. “’Tis hard to part from those we love,” and sometimes it is even more difficult to get away from those we don't love.