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’PUBLISHED EVERY THURSDAY
—AT—
BELLTON, G-A.
By JOHN T. WILSON Jr,
P* r ••cwUforib
month); 35 canto forthree month).
fro “ Bellto “ "• requeued
to eend their name) with >aoh amount) oi
money a> they can pare, from ico. to *1
NEWS GLEANINGS.
North Carolina has 96 counties.
The school fund of Kentucky issl,-
600,000.
Key West, Fla., shipped 900,OOOcigars
last week.
Apricots sell in Lake City, Fla., at $8
per bushel.
Pensacola, Florida, Jis tojhave a new
hotel, cost SIOO,OOO.
Wilmington, North Carolina, has a
population of 17,506.
North Carolina has a commissioner o
immigration in England.
New Orleans is to have a school for
fAe training of women nurses.
North Carolina has 221 Masonic ledges
at work with a membership of 8,199.
Six hundred thousand oranges will be
shipped from Enterprise, Florida, this
fail
Monticello, Fla., has shipped this sea
son 503 barrels and 29 crates of Irish
potatoes,
A green turtle, weighing over 400
pounds, has been captured off the Flor
ida coast
One hundred children work in the
Maysville, Ky., cotton mills for 75 cents
to f 1.25 a week each.
The Association of Atlanta Preachers
have signed a respectful protest against
the issuing of Sunday papers.
Mr. Matthew Berry, near Rainer,
Montgomery county, Ala., is sending to
the high school his eight ehildren.
Nine spongers came into Key West
Fla., last week, after a nine weeks
cruise, and sold their s,pQjvg e f or |2,511.
The Adventists of tlranbury, Texas,
have erected a '.arge tabernacle for the
purpose of e.\p oUn( ]i n g their doctrines.
Six tho' aSall j] cans o f oysters were re
cently sent North in one shipment by
’he canning establishment at Newbern,
.Vorth Carolina.
One hundred and two thousand, eight
hundred and thirty-five pounds of straw
berries have been shipped from Chatta
nooga this season.
A correspondent of the Atlanta Con
stitution says Savannah is the modern
Hodotn and has four hundred bar-rooms,
or one to every twelve adults.
Such a severe storm prevailed in Lee
and Sumter counties, Georgia, that in
one place, for nearly a mile, you could
walk on the trees that had been blown
down.
In Harris county, Ga., dinner-horns
are said to have gone out of fashion.
Provisions are so scarce that when a
horn sounds all the neighborhood re
spond to the call.
Charles Johnson, of New Orleans, the
convicted ship-burner, says that a num
ber of business men, cotton brokers
chiefly, were “interested” with him in
his business—the ship-burning business.
A number of young men from Greene
county, Ga., started down the river in a
canoe about six months ago to try the
novel business of trapping beavers. The
voyage was very dangerous, but success
ful, and 'each man’s skins netted him
S7OO. >
Two little boys, Clarence Gross and
Willie Dominy, were wrestling in Dub
lin, Ga., and fell on their sides. Willie
got up, leaving Clarence on the ground.
The by-standers noticed that he did not
stir, and approaching they found he was
dead.
Mr. J. W.JSlaugh ter, near Pineville
Georgia, was having a well dug on his
place, and when about twenty feet deep
a well-preserved oak leaf was found firm
ly imbedded in the chalk. When about
fifty feet deep a live snake of the black
species was found.
“The Atlantic and Gulf Coajs Canal
and Okeechobee Land Company” is the
dignified title of the organization which
proposes to reclaim the Florida Ever
glades. The company will have a cap
ital of $10,000,000, and will build a
canal to drain Lake Okeechobee, east
and west, and also a canal 300 miles long
along the east coast of Florida. Colon
ists from Europe are to be settled on the
lands. Sugar and indigo are to be
grown on the reclaimed lands. The
company held a meeting at Philadelphia
last week.
A coms of young men went out fish
ing, and, on returning, were going past
a farm house and felt hungry. They
veiled to the farmer’s daughters:
Girls, have you any butter-milk?”
The reply was gently wafted back to
their ears: “Yes, but we keep it for our
own calves." The boys calculated that
they had business away—and they
YMk
The North Georgian.
VOL. IV.
SONOSYLLABI.E poem.
Think not that strength lies in the big, round word,
Or that the brief and jJahi must needs be weak.
To whom can this be true, who once h.u» heard
The cry for help, the tongue that al! men speak,
Iv hen want, or woo, or fear is at the throat,
bo that each word gasped out is like a shriek
Pressed from the sore heart, or strange, wild note
Sung by some fay or fiend? There is a strength
too far or spun too tine,
Which has mere height than breadth, more depth
and length.
Let but this force of thought and speech l>e mine,
And he that will may take the sleek, fat phrase,
n hich glows and burns not, though it gleam and
shine;
Light, but not heat—a flash without a blase.
Nor is It mere strength that the short word boasts
It serves of more than fight or storm to tell—
The roar of waves that dash on rock-bound coasts,
Ihe crash of tall trees when the wild winds jwell,
The roar of guns, the groans of men that die
On blood-stained fluids. It has a voice as well
For them that far-off on tbdr sick beds He,
For them that weep, for them that mourn the
dead,
For them that laugh, and dance, and clasp the hand;
To Joy’s quick step, as well as griefs low tread.
The sweet, plain words we learnt at first keep time,
And though the theme be sad, or gay, or grand,
With each, with all, these may be made to chime,
In thought, or spuicb, or song, or prose, or rhyme.
A Ludicrous Elopement.
It’s hard for a “country jake” to con
vey to his Susan Jane the exact situation
when first the arrow is lodged in his
heart. The attitudes and awkward com
binations of personal presentation are
painful to an outsider, to say nothing of
what he suffers. See him cross his legs,
first one on top and then the other, and
then see him shoot them out in front,
and run his hands in his pockets; then
he draws in his feet, doubles them under
the chair, pulls his hands out of his
pockets and drops them down by his side,
stretches, yawns, blushes, and almost
dies trying to say it Poor fellow, it is
martyrdom while it lasts, and when he
does “get his mouth off,” it's like put
ting a beggar on horse back; he just
canters oft’ to paradise with a happy-go
lucky indifference that is enviable, bar
ring an obstruction on the track, and
then over on his head he tumbles, when
cruel parents intervene and refuse to
ratify.
A ludicrous case of this sort of agony
occurred near the place of my nativity
about twenty-five years ago, in which I
had my sympathies so roused that I was
moved to lend the hero some assistance.
His name was Joe, and his girl’s, Mar
tha Jane, to whom he had surrendered
his entire heart, stock, lock and barrel—
without reservation of any kind, which
she gushingly reciprocated by adding
her entire stock in trade in the partner
ship proposed. But the old folks de
murred—refused to ratify—threatened a
war of extermination—banished Joe, and
belied Martha Jane, besides several other
tlireatenod acts of dire hostility. In fact,
Joe and Martha Jane had the biggest
spider put in their dumpling ever known
since Adam’s and Eve’s apple scrape.
Their hearts all but “busted”—but they
didn’t.
The parties were neighbors—lived in
sight of each other—Joe on the hill and
Martha Jane in the bottom. When
Martha Jane camo forth to nourish
her young fowls with a preparation of
ground corn and water, she would cast
her loving eyes upward and rest them on
Joe, who would from above look down
affectionately on his Martha Jane, and
they would sigh and swallow great hunlm
of grief as big as apple dumplings.
Joe was so badly off that I was sorry
for him, and when he called upon me to
assist him, I proceeded at once to the
prospective mother-in-law (more or less)
with my eloquence, “from whom I
proceeded from whence"—not running,
but my time was good. I reported pro
gress, and begged to be excused. Joe
got worse aud worse; threatened to
commit—well, to steal something, and
did make divers efforts to steal his girl,
but the old folks slept on their arms.
Joe was getting terribly bad off; he said
he must have her; that I must steal her
for him. I tried to prevail on him to
bide his time; but, no, have her he must,
and I must do the job for him; he knew
I could do it if I would, and he wanted it
done right off.
When I found Joe couldn’t wait, I con
sented to try my hand. I was about
Martha’* age, and the thought occurred
to me that I would dress in woman’s
clothes and let Joe steal me, and see if
it would "sorter” cool his ardor. I con
fided my plan to some of the boys, and
they approved it and promised their as
sistance. We concluded that we would
let the old man, Martha Jane’s father,
into the secret, and arrange for him to
pursue us with his hounds, of which he
had about a dozen, when we made the
attempt. The old man entered into the
affair eagerly, for he despised Joe.
After we had fixed all the preliminaries
of time, place and manner of proceeding,
we adjourned to meet the next Sunday
night and have the chase. We met ac
cording to adjournment at the time agreed,
1 and a woman hitched me up in some of
her gear, w-ith a parcel of ’things tied
round my waist—l don’t know what
they all were, but I know the outside
was calico, and it was in two pieces; one
was the tail, which was tied on first, and
the other was a sort of jacket with sleeves
to it, of some dark sort of stuff. These,
with a white sun-bonnet, and a blue veil,
and some cotton stuffed in judiciously to
give me a gushing make-up, having been
provided as indespensable to my toilette,
I was ready and willing to be Joe s—for
a time.
When we arrived near Martha Jane’s
house, the old man was waiting for us.
We arranged that after we had got about
a quarter of a mile off, one of our party,
(who remained behind for the purpose)
should notify Joe that we had Martha
Jane, and when Joe came tearing by the
house, the old man was to give him a
salute from his old double-barrelled shot
gun. Very soon here came Joe full tilt
down the hill towards the creek. Bang
went the venerable shot-gun, and away
went Joe, and boob came the old man on
BELLTON, BANKS COUNTY. GA.. JUNE 16. 1881.
his sway-back horse, with his hounds
and shot-gun, and accompanied by his
son.
Mitchellville was the objective point
of the expedition, and it was about five
miles off The boys got Joo’s arms from
him to protect his girl, and prevailed on
him to rush ahead, pay the toll-gate foes,
proceed on to Mitchellville and have the
license ready, so as to have no delay.
Accordingly, Joe went off at a lope, paid
the toll for us, and gave strict orders not
to let Martha Jones’ father through; but
when the old man came to the gate ho
just jumped his old sway-back over it,
and on he came, his hounds in full cry.
The way he “got up and got” along that
pike was a scene not to be forgotten.
The fuss he made aroused everybody on
route.
Our crowd consisted of five, besides
Joe, and we arrived at Mitchellville about
10 p. m. Joe was there, and as soon as
I had dismounted, he was at my side and
led me up to the door and rattled it so
that the startled Justice opened it at
once, but, upon seeing, as he supposed,
a female, closed it to arrange his toilet.
Meantime, «the old man and his hounds
could be heard nearing rapidly. I whis
pered to Joe I wanted to retire around
the comer of the house to arrange my
dress, and he said, excitedly, “Bein a
hurry, the old man will soon be here.”
I did make haste, for no sooner had I got
around the corner than I darted through
a gate, ran down the side of a fence,
crept t hrough an opening into a back
yard, and hid behind an ash-hopper.
When the Justice had got clothes on,
he opened the door to tell us to come in,
but, of course, I wasn’t there, and Joe
was running frantically round the house
looking for his girl, while the old man
and his dogs were coming nearer every
minute. The Justice came out and Joo
yelled for his Martha Jane, but she came
not. Then the Justice called out: “Pon’*
be alarmed, madam, come in; you shan’t
be hurt,” and essayed to assist Joo tc
find her.
By this time the old man, his son ami
the hounds had charged into town and
were almost at the door. According tc
previous arrangement a sham row at once
began between our boys and the pursu
ers, and so well'was tho thing done that
the citizens (for every man, woman and
child in the village was up) pitched in to
prevent what they thought would be a
sanguinary affray.
The burly Justice, seeing the turn af
fairs seemed to bo taking, and excited
beyond measure, mounted the horse
block and commanded the peace so vo
ciferously as almost to bo heard in the
adjoining counties of this State and
Kentucky. This restored quiet, our
boys professing to be law-abiding citi
zens. The old man also simmered down,
though be insisted that he had the right
to be a little out of humor at the boys
for robbing him of his gal, ami kept lin
gering round and “cussin’ ” a little on
tho outside.
After the row had been squelched, tho
women of the village organized a
search for the lost maiden, with a view
of shielding her'from the wrath of tho
irate old man.
It was not long before I was discov
ered by one of them, and she, with
another, made a dash at mo. I scuttled
off os fast os I could, but I hung my
boot in my lawn calico and made a per
fect “shuckin” of it in my haste. It tore
nearly off at tho waist and split in two,
and by tho time I got to the next fence I
had a trail two yards long. I had great
trouble in climbing that fence (I can’t
see how a woman can climb a fence, no
way); in fact, I half climbed aud half
rolled over, burst the strings round my
waist, ran out of all tho balance of my
lower female harness, threw my bonnet
back on my head, raised the yell, and
almost ran over some more women who
were looking for me, and I heard one of
them sav.J os I passed—“Lordy, Kate,
what was that ?” I didn’t stop to ex
plain, but made good my escape.
Joe was not to be thus outdone. He
persevered, and in n short time succeeded
in getting away with the right Martha
Jane, and the two were made one. Bnt
Mrs. Joe would never speak to me after
wards, for the reason, I suppose, that I
came so nigh beating her out of a hus
band.
It was the nearest I ever came to being
married, and though Joe—doubtless in
stigated by his wife—gave me a terrible
thrashing some eighteen months after
the escapade, I never recall it without a
hearty laugh.
The Postal Card Fiend.
“There is a new kind of fiend in exis
ence,” said a post-office detective recent
ly to your correspondent; “the postal card
fiend, who came into existence with that
species of epistolary effusion. The
nuisance is a much greater one than you
can imagine. No one who is not con
nected with the service can imagine the
number of scurrilous cards sent out.
Ladies come to us—some of them be
longing to the first families in our city—
who are almost heartbroken over the open
missives they have received. They do
not want to expose the matter—often it
is the result of sorqe family feud—and so
all we can do is to stop the cards here,
while the villain is allowed to go free.”
I have heard of a case lately where a
young wife was assailed in reputation by
a former lover—rejected, of course—who
kept just within the boundary of the law.
The insinuating language was sufficiently
veiled to keep the young husband un
easy, while it ate deep into the young
bride’s heart. It will kill her, as she is
dying slowly of the inward wound. Os
course ten years in prison would be light
punishment for such a fiend, but these
people always calculate upon an unwill
ingness to prosecute on account of fears
of publicity,— N, ¥. Car. Philadelphia
Hecord.
SOUTHERN TOWNS.
The Mnabl-oom rinces I»evelo|»«Mt Sluce
I lie W.r-lron Manufactures.
(Ottt'j*. Southern Letter.;
The average Southern town which has
grown up since the war, surrounding a
railroad station, consists of two to five
drinking saloon, a few stores and a series
of cabins or shanties of planks or logs,
set hither and thither, without much
reference to a town in the future.
Through a long range of country there
are no fences on the side of tho railroad
track. Tho trains are kept constantly
whistling to avoid running over cattle or
mules. Thia is the case within sight of
Montgomery, Ala., where there are some
16,000 inhabitants. Occasionally one
finds a steam saw-mill put up since the
war in the midst of tho wood, sawing out
lumber. The rivers are, full, almost to
the level of the landscape, in high water,
and they are principally efficient as to
Hooding the surrounding bottoms and
creating now soil for agriculture. Alto
gether the most hopeful country in the
South, for various occupations, is along
the mountain lines of Alabama, Tennessee
and Georgia, where I saw a number of
iron furnaces, and in two or three cases
cotton mills, built by Northern capital
in a perfect manner. Oneof the furnaces
which gives tho name to the railroad
station was called “Stonewall,” after
Stonewall J ackson. The next was called
“Tecumseh,” after Gen. William Te
cumseh Sherman, and is operated by ex-
Senntor Warner, of Alabama, who was
on Gen. Sherman’s staff. Warner got
into the train at his station and talked to
mo ns far as Rome, Ga., and said to me:
“There are just four towns in the Smith
which are picking up rapidly—Chat
tanooga, Rome, Atlanta and Birming
ham, Ala. My bi other-in-law, Justice
Woods, of the Supreme Court, is inter
ested with me in the Tecumseh furnace.
We worked along for some years during
hard times without much returns, but
we are now making money, and so are
the furnaces generally in this section, of
which there ore a dozen or more. All of
them are charcoal furnaces, and two of
these are said to be the largest charcoal
furnaces in the world. We have orders
for iron a long way ahead. The ad
vantages of making iron here are cheap
ness of materials and of labor.”
He said that they paid about one dol
lar a day for labor, and paid about forty
or fifty cents for cut wood per cord. I
also understood him to say that the ma
terial entering into a ton of iron procured
on his laud cost only about sixty-five
cents. I presume he meant without la
bor. This was disputed by Mr. Folger,
who thought Warner must have had said
six dollars and a half, but I am uretty
sure ho said sixty-five cents. Warner
said that the present Governor of Ala
bama was a pretty fair man, and that,
while the State was not improping much,
industry would soon startup. A bank
liad just burst at Rome, Ga., aud Sena
tor Warner was just going up to see
what had become of SB,OOO of his furnace
money deposited there. Throughout
the South there is a rising opposition to
any more State banks, and a general op
position to my further noise about what
is called “States’right.” I have shown
you in another communication how tho
exasperation against “States’ rights,” so
called, has broken out among tho most
dogmatic soldiers of the rebellion, who
want a better living for their familiesand
less political theory.
She Was a-Washing.
They had an assault and battery case
r on trial in Justice alley, says M. Quad,
I and one of the witnesses for the plaintiff
I was a colored woman. After the usual
questions had been asked she was told
to tell the jury what she knew about the
case. She settled back and began :
“ Well, I was a-washin’ out my clothes
when ”
“Never mind the washing,” said tho
lawyer.
“But it was Monday.”
“ Can’t help that.”
“ But I always wash on Mondays.”
‘ ‘ Never mind that. Tell the jury what
you know about this affair,”
“Well, J was a-sudin’ an’ a-sudin’ my
clothes when I seed ”
“Can’t you let that washing alone?
We all know that you were washing.”
“ Yes, sah. I had fo’ten shirts, free
tablecloths, twenty-four collahs and
twelve towels in the wash, an’ I was u
rinsin’ an’ a-rinsin’ when ao ole man ho
»>
“Say, Mary, won’t you tell the jury
what you saw?” "
“Yes, sah; 1 was a-wringin’ an’ a
wringin’, an’ I had my sleeves rolled up
“ Mary, I wish you’d hang that wash
ing up to dry.”
“ Yes, sah. De next sing arter wring
in out de clothes is to hanp ’em out, an’
1 was a hangin’ when ’
“I guess you can be excused,” said
the lawyer.
“Shoo, now! .list hold on till I git
dat washin’ in an’ part of de shirts ironed
an’ I’ll tell you jist how dat fight began
an’ de name of de party who was
knocked ober de ash-heap an’ frew de
alley fence! Doan’ git a poo’ woman
way off down yere an’ den refuse to let
her aim her witness fees.”
Opium Smoking-
San Francisco is not of the opinion
that the article in the new Chinese treaty
prohibiting citizens of either country
from importing opium here, and vessels
flying the flag of either nation from
carrying it, will destroy the trade in this
article. Opium smoking, on the Pacific
coast, is not confined to the Chinese, for
American youths have acquired the
1 habit. Saysone of the importers: “The
i Chinese will get it, if it is oa the top of
I the earth."
Begging in New York.
A New York correspondent of the Boa
ton Transcript writes: Among other
kinds of business whioh are flourishing
in New York just now is that of begging.
The mendicant is seen everywhere.
Chancellor Crosby, in an address the
other evening said that after a month’s
experience in personally investigating
cases in which he had been applied to
for help, he had found all beggars to be
frauds. He believed, too, that all the
beggars he had known for thirty years
past had been foreigners, or the children
of foreigners. This is a sweeping as
sertion but it is pretty near the truth.
Begging is made a regular occupation to
a much greater extent than is generally
known.
Yet there are cases that appeal so
strongly to your sympathy that you can
hardly pass them by. I found one the
other evening. I had crossed the ferry
to Brooklyn about dark, when a little
girl asked me for a penny to buy bread
for her sick mother. She was bare-footed
and shivering in her thin clothes, and
seemed to be a deserving object of char
ity. Bnt I thought I would investigate
a little. So I insisted on her taking me
to see her sick mother. Very reluctantly
she led me to a comfortably furnished
apartment in a neighboring street, where
I found the sick mother to be a robust
Irish woman who was bustling about
preparing supper for the family. ’
There were ornaments on the mantel
and pictures on the wall, and an ample
supply of cold meat, bread, and tea on
the table. I used some vigorous lan
guage appropriate to tho occasion, when
the woman said she had sent the child
to beg in the streets, but her reply was
characteristic of the class to which she
belonged: “Shine, and what harm is
there in the child’s earning a few pennies
at the ferry ?”
Plans of Polygamy.
Some idea of the avowed designs of
the Mormon Government may be formed
from the following public statements by
their Bishop, Lunt:
"Our Church has been organized onlv
fifty years, and yet behold its wealth
and power! This is our year of jubilee.
We look forward with perfect confidence
to the day when we will hold the reins
of the United States Government. That
is our present temporal aim; after that
we expect to control this continent. We
do not care for the territorial officials
sent out to govern us. They are
nobodies here. We do not recognize
them. Nor do we fear any practical
interference by Congress. To-day we
hold the balance of political power in
Idaho; we rule iu Utah absolutely; and
in a very short time we will hold the
balance of power iu Arizona and Wyom
ing. A few mouths ago President Snow,
of St. George, set out with a band of
priests for an extensive tour through
Colorado, New Mexico, Wyoming, Mon
tana, Idaho and Arizona to proselyte.
We also expect to send missionaries to
some parte of Nevada, and we design
to plant colonics in Washington Terri
tory. In tho past six months wo have
sent more than 3,000 of our people down
through the Sevier Valley to settle in
Arizona, and the movement still pro
gresses. All this will help to build up
for us a political power that the dema
gogues will be forced to recognize. Our
vote is solid, aud will always remain so.
It will be thrown where the most good
will be accomplished for tho Church.
Then, in some great political crisis, the
two great political parties will bid our
support. Utah will then be admitted of
a polygamous State, and the other Terri
tories we have peacefully subjugated
will be admitted also. We will then
hold the balance of power, and will dic
tate. In time our principles, which are of
sacred origin, will spread throughout the
United States. We will possess tho
ability to turn the political scale in any
oarticnlar community we desire. Our
people are obedient. You can imagine
the results which wisdom may bring
about with the assistance of a church
organization like ours. It is the oom
pletest one tho world has ever seen. ”
The Italian Postman’s Hard Lot.
A Rome correspondent of the Phila
delphia Bulletin writes: “I see by a
morning newspaper that the pay of the
Roman poitman varies from 75 to 80
francs a month, with which he must eat,
lodge, dress, etc, and sometimes he has
a family to keep in the bargain. I think
that in most countries the postman is the
worst paid of all public servants, and
he has, perhaps, to svork the hardest.
Some months ago one of these was sud
denly missing, and at the same time an
important sum was missing from the
treasury. It was, of course, surmised
that both had taken the same road. Last
week, however, after six months, the de
cayed and putrid body of a man was
found in one of the lofts of the Post
office. The stench was so great that at
first no one could get near until the air
was made breathable by disinfectants.
The missing employe was then recog
nized. A revolver was in his hand. In
the pockets of his coat were a citation
for debt and one cent! The whole
tragedy was written on that- cent. It
was not he, however, who had taken the
missing money. The family name is
thus far unstained.”
In the harbor of Wisenar, in the Baltic,
animalcules increase and multiply at a
great rate, for 17,000 cubic feet of mud
are formed there every year, and every
grain of this mud contains 100,000,000
of the beautiful siliceous remains of the
infusoria. _____
In making a crust of any kind, do not
melt the lard iu flour. Milting will in
jure the crust.
PUBLISHED EVEBT ThVMDAT AT
BELLTON, GEORGIA/
RATES OF SUBSCRIPTION.
One year (52 number)), $1.00; six months
(,?6 numbers) 50 cents; three month) (13
number)), 25 cent).
Office in the C-irtsr buildin?, wist of th
depot.
NO. 24.
Large Mouths Are Fashionable.
The fashion papers, which are author
ity on the styles, claim that ladies with
large mouths ore all the fashion now,
and that those whose mouths are small
and rosebud-like are all out of style.
It is singular the freaks that are taken
by fashion. Years ago a red-headed
girl, with a mouth like a slice cut out of •
a muskmelon, would have been laughed
at, and now such a girl is worth going
miles to soe. It is easier to color the
hair red, and be in the fashion, than it
is to enlarge the mouth, though a mouth
that has any give to it can be helped by
the constant application of a glove
stretcher during the day, and by hold
ing the cover to a tin blacking-box in
the mouth while sleeping. What in the
world the leaders of fashion wanted to
declare large mouths the style for, the
heavens only can tell. Take a pretty
face, and mortice out about a third of
the front of it for a mouth, and it seems
to us as though it is a great waste of the
raw material. There is no use that a
large mouth can be put to that a small
mouth would not do better, unless it is
used for a pigeon-hole to file away old
sots of false teeth. They can’t, certain
ly', be any better for kissing. You all
remember the traveling man who at
tended the church fair at Kalamazoo,
where one of the sisters would give a
kiss for 10 cents. He went up and paid
his 10 cents, and was about to kiss her
when he noticed that her mouth was one
of these large, open-face, cylinder
escapement, to-be-continued mouths.
It commenced at the chin and
went about four chains and three
links in a northwesterly direction,
then around by her ear, across un
der the nos§ and back by the other
ear to the place of beginning, and con
taining about twelve acres, more or less.
The traveling man said he was only a
poor orphan, and had a family to sup
port, and if he never came out alive it
would be a great hardship to those de
pendent on him for support, and he
asked her as a special favor that she
take her hand and take a reef in one side
of the mouth so it would be smaller,
She consented, and puckered in a hand
ful of what would have been cheek, had
it not been mouth. He looked at her
again and found that the mouth had be
come a very one-sided affair, and he said
he had just one more favor to ask. He
was not a man that was counted hard to
suit, when he was at home in Chicago,
but he would always feel as though he
had got his money's worth, and go away
with pleasanter recollections of Kalama
zoo, if she would kindly take her other
hand and draw the other side of her
mouth together, and ho would be con
tent to take his 10 cents’ worth out of
what was left unemployed. This was
too much, and she gave him a terrible
look, and returned him his 10 cents,
saying: “ Do you think, sir, because you
are a Chicago drummer, that for 10 cents
you can take a kiss right out of the best
part of it ? Go 1 Get theo to a nun
nery,” and he went and bought lemon
ade with the money.— Peck’s Sun.
As the hot days of summer draw near
people are debating the question,
“Where shall I go for a trip It has
been fashionable for a year or two to
visit the Northern lakes or mountains.
These resorts arc very pleasant in hot
weather, but they have serious draw
backs. First, it is very expensive get
ting there and back again. Then it is
still more costly to remain, as one
should, until Southern frosts; for if one
returns home during the malarial season
he is much more liable to suffer the
effects of the poison than he would have
been had he remained South all summer.
Then their distance from business and
other connexions is an objection. All
these can be avoided and more than
equal benefit secured by the expendi
ture of less than half the time, money
and preparation necessary for a North
ern trip. We have within easy reach a
resort whose claims have been before
the public fifty years and never been
rivalled or disputed. In all that minis
ters to health or pleasure it is the peer
of any place in the United States, and
its charges are very reasonable. Rail
roads give its visitors excursion rates.
We refer to Bailey Springs, Ala., Ellis
& Co., proprietors. In addition to its
merits as a pleasure resbrt, its power to
cure all diseases of debility, poverty of
the blood, nervous exhaustion, dropsy,
scrofula, dyspepsia, and especially di
seases of the kidneys or bladder, is truly
wonderful. Write to them before mak
ing other arrangements. A postal card
only costs a cent.
Perhaps the young woman of Green,
Minn., didn’t scream when, on breaking
an egg to mix in her cake, a snake seven
inches long and about tho size of a pipe
stem fell into the pan.
Prejudice Kills.
“Eleven years our daughter suffered
on a bed of misery under the care of
several of the best (and some of the
worst) physicians, who gave her disease
various names but no relief, and now
she is restored to us in good health by as
simple a remedy as Hop Bitters, that we
had poohed at for two years, before
using it. We earnestly hope and pray
that no one else will let their sick suffer
as we did, on account of prejudice
against so good a medicine as Hop Bit
ters.”—The Parents.—Telegram.
There are still a few negro slaves in
the country—owned by the Seminole
Indians in Florida.
You Can’t A Hord.
To b) without Warner’) Safe Kidney and Liver
Duo.