Newspaper Page Text
j\oftl) Qeorgi ai),
PUBLBHED EVERY THURSDAY
—AT—
IJF.LLi < >N, GA.
Bv MYERS «fc BUICE.
DR. D. M. BREAKER Editor.
Ofti-.’e in.tl.e Smtk builuiu?, ea&t of ti.e
depot. .
ft O') ;?-r Aiiuu'n, TO ce ;ts fur - x
months, in ud vai-ut.
Fifty numbers to the volume.
KEWB GUANINBS.
Corti is -filing in East Tennessee :it
sixty cents per Bushel.
Some 400,000 feet of cress ties will be
shipped from Kentucky t> .Mexico.
The Ic’. ce at New Orleans i.- tube illu
minar'ed uith the electric light.
r r..f ssor C.ther. of Alabama, predicts
U hard winter.
Immigration and capital are steadily
tbiwing into Tennessee.
A fi:!’-vein of coal has been discovered
in Jackson county, Alabama.
Albany, G.-i.. isg’iug fospend for
au Artesian well,
IhereaiQ 113-1 cnviel- in the S.ulh
• ar.flina penitentiary.
‘he average pr.ida,. of the cot ton crop
,Jt the Al tnphis district is fifty-one per j
’cent. le.-s tha i last years yield.
1 y ler James, colored, was giv< n twe::i v
stripes by a Richmond, V. - . ’court lor
■'’'■Vailing an overeo.it.
Ihrce ibous.iml snappers wore carried
to Pensacola, Florida, in one dav list
week.
At the !• lurid i state fair a premium cf
six dollars wasollered for the be t dahied
stoekifle-.
Ali over the south telegraphic in p:i?i'
have been received from New York
B.inkers about Confederate coupon bonds,
A F oiid i fanners whohave plant
ed ,‘irrc, w-rool makoai much as SI,OOO on
an a ere.
Accomac and Northampton counties,
Virginia, have pe.te'i tie s now living
and bearing which were planted in 1816.
l or the year ending S. ptember 1 the
citizens of Brownsville, ’linn., consumed
•’2B bat rel ■ of « hisky.
A Pennsylvanian has La < d 10,(00
acres of land near Woodbury, Cannon
eouirty, Tennessee, and will
Colonel E. W. Cole, the ‘ railn . d
king,’’has purchased the old Dank of
Tennessee Imildinvat Nashville for Sl2-
010.
Rev. Father A. ..I. Ryan, the swei test
poet in the South, has tafren charge of
the C.itholi;- ehuneh at Etifausu, Ala
bama.
Last year J. E. Yates, of Rappahan
nock county, Virginia, i-urehas d 275
■shci p.-.for which hopaid S3Z>O apiece
Hie Lnnbs aim wool this year brought
-him $1,700.
Otte firm in Virginia, with >B7 ac of
land, has produced 3,500 gallon <>f wine
ma seasefr. ••Two c< unties in that .-it>
'this season will make 60,000 -.'aliens.
Messrs. Stuart A- Mi Dowell, of iln-
Rudi-ill mine in N- rtb ('irolin i. bav>-
wnt to the Atlanta exposition a-"lid
) ieec of geld sulpliuret ore weighing ”00
p iunds,"ntid is assayed at about SBO per
till. ’
•The tnlrafco trldc of Richmond, Vir
tguiiii, I’.-'; vA decided io 'appoint an in
sAjh.rof v.hosl.rdi 1-avei h- r■••
-,.,£'1'1 •.iitlrb n''gtkef " This will -eparu
.l<o ! c»siw»s o' Wjirehodxjn r and of m-
.. c-i-tjitids .Phillips, twelve years old. was
jT'fftrijlt Ji-imy. bv hi) •■'■if in It-’’, .-on
t te£ h ■■■Garvlim Dhriu -t •
’ friigi ■TCrne deyili Ji “boy'’ vi it'd th
. bon. ml tri'J tp run an i n-. ue I r
’.lie] rp ■ol flight'n: ng th b Tie
■ fftflr- follow W.r.- I'Car'-.l so badly tint he
was thro.-n into spasms. from which he
died shortly after v a rd.
Rome (Gn ) utier: Two sisters,
Mtor- Emma an I Susie, daughters of
.widow Cornwell, of Rocky creek, Gordon
county, picked out with their own hands,
last week, a bale of cotton, had itgium <l,
and sent it to R me. Mr. H. SI. Smith
.bought it nt twelve and a half cents, and
sept, it to the Atlanta Exposition as a j
sainpleof of North Georgia cotton.
The Jiotc, of Inowrazlaw, Pin
gives the followin'.' taele of w -!■
workmen iu. that city, a place or n
B,IH)D or 1I),000 popnlati n. 1 ■
are for a week's work of six da' -■ of t->w
teen hours each.- A nuuk is pud t
English shilling, or about tw- uty
cents :
Bricklayers, best
Bricklayer'S common
If-skarricrß
.miners J
()4bmet-m"k<" ii.cimi. 1 ■ •••■
LA'ckbßiit Ha . nii’sit'i i-- .
(itichiiriiig b -iki'l ■. -
• 1
Ftciorj laborer*
irardeueiH • -
Field hand* -
Is it auv woutb-r. 10 vif*w < t ‘h h.
ures, and they an to a c it 'i’i • xt. ut
criterion t > jot; ;i ■.
' Germany, that th.- ir- ■ a...•.■ ■
artisans of that is.ntitjv. ■ iiii:/ to
the United States by thousands ?
1 '
■ ■"»• e ‘ ’ r _ ■
1 .
The North Georgian.
£
1 VOL. IV.
TO? 1 ITS OF THE DAV.
Boston women gamble in railroad !
I .stocks.
Mauk Twain has written another,
book.
Chinese are becoming plentiful in ;
Chicago.
—«
Tobacco in A’irgluia will be only half I
a crop this year.
Geokof, Bancroft, the historian, is •
c.,,hty-08. ,ye..l.
T.’tKim will 1- ■ a ,■ ireity of coal in the ■
West the coming winter.
—•
Bj’k lb' now boasts of one female:
lawyer, .Miss L -!ia J, Robinson.
V Mo'a sirxT Io Denn Stanley will be
at ■ tv l in Wesfmiust r Abbgv
I’ i : students at Harvard are com
p. lied to attend, prayer meeting.
■
An iiip r ;rm an statue will bocroctod j
to lien. Burnside iu Rhode Island.
Fa-Gov. ShßPhebd (“Boss”)is about 1
l return to Washington from Mexico.
.
IrmiNors’ oldest citizen is dead—Airs, j
Margaret Nonghton, aged-116 years. |
—
Mrs. ijAm-’ii nn’s income will l>o S2O,- i
O’i-’ayear. Airs. Lincoln’s is $3,000.
-—-*■».■■ * • ———-
lr is thought th-- Indianapolis Journal t
Ims an bye opt n to a Cabinet position. |-
Mu. Windom will retire from the Cab
inet and return to the United’ States .
Senate,
President G abi icod's picture is to be
p’ae -d upop the five cent international
postal letter skpiiju
A kecent frost in the vicinity of Bos- |
ton is said to haw done damage to the -
i xtent of si .000,000.
Geokge Fkancis ’Pn-viN K tys ho has.
nuuli 1 his last speech and written his Inst !
IcttfU. Wt! Kiir- IV thviv. was a .olivet? ,
lining somewhere.
Q , :
The (*zar of Russia, is resigned to any i
file that in ty overtake him. IL* is said [
to often declare, “I am quite ready to !
me« * death when it comes.”
Tun mummy of the dauglii> r of King ;
Rameses is said to bo among the diseov- |
erics nt Tlu’beß —the woman who found ’
Moses in the. bulrushes.
• I •
Sarah Bernhardt was hissed at :
Amiens and st- pping to the footlights, I
remarked: “I am not accustomed to!
play to geese.” Ready wit. L
The Alonnons take great consolation !
nt the present political status. They feel |
that their polygamous institution is ’ 1
secure, ami that the Lord is with them, j
_———
The expense of Garfield’s illness is ■
e timated at $100,01)0, "of which the '
d-n i ns’ bills will bo $53,000. Dr. Bliss i
is accredited with a claim of $25,000. i
Tin: Z J aP Mall Gazette, acknowledges '
the United States to be the. most poxver- :
fill nation on the globe. . This-confession (
is a great one, coming from-an English |
source.
, ■ .
’ la.:. ■: Nc.i.son,- a. Swi di.-I: woman '
committed suiMJe in Philadelphia the .
other day beca'is ■ she C’>uld not get a j
husband. She. must have beam Jiorrid I
ugly. . •
_—.......
The J’resiiL nt’s brother, William Ar- |
thur, who is Major and Paymaster in ;
jne army, xftis marylcd a fexv days-’ago at
Governor’s Island, to Mis.-. Laura Bou- -
vier.
—.————
...•Tcdoing from results, the Ohio voter ;
is a setatcher. That comes of getting. '
poor men on the- regular ticket—a fact- :
that the late election has. forcibly pr. - j
seated to party managers,
Tim Cincinnati Commercial says the :
‘ situation in Ireland is quite too utter.
We suppose this means that it is in a j
.Liopiug posture. Nations, likeindivid- ;
u.ls, ar<- nothing if not fashionable.
o
is held rosponF-ible for the
.ti i . 't of Parnell, jurl Gladstone is of
the that the arrest' is for the ,
vindication of law and order, and “ the •
■ tinst dements of civilization.”
— _—
Under the old French law, being in
tor " ib-iT three times- deprived men of
t’-eir right to vote. Such a law in this I
<-<miitrv, it is to b - apprehended, would
pievent the bolding of an election in
' some sections.
—
Stn' H “ information ” has been filed,
we hax'e failed to le-ar that Brady, 'of
Star Rout" notoriety" is still i.mli
round, demanding an early tual. Hi-
BELLTON. BANKS COUNTY. GA., OCTOBER 20, FBI.
ardor for justice has cooled down some
i what.
♦
An agent of the Land League in Ire
: land has been arrested, fa'- nnitjuu «««-
j dies i-.i I'otatoes to be fed to the cattle'
; of a farmer guilty of paying his rent.
1 Tliat. is partaking of a very low kind of
I fiendishuess.
Gviteau seems determined to have
Bon. Butler to'defend him. Ingersoll he
| doesn't, want. His discrimination is based
' upon religious principles. - Butler, how
. over, dooo not oravo the svrvioe, will wi l l
i endeavor to excuse himself.
“The. Mormons are held together,”
i says the Mormon organ, “by' an in
fluences that is beyond the power of men
i or nations to prevent, destroy or con
' trol.” That “influence” is a plurality
of wives, certainly not divine.
| The St. Louis Globe-Democrat says
that the hog crop of the territory tribu
: tary to St. Louis v ill be very inferior in
quality and less in quantity than for*
■ many ymnrs past. Thu high price of i
I corn is given as a reason for this condi
: tion of things.
This is a sad comment on the insur
ance question: One insurance Presi
dent. wdioso company loses $12,000 by
the file in Morrell’s Building, in New
York, himself had $20,000 worth of
prop-rty stored there and only $3,0001
. insurance ou it.
_—
Eight members of the last Houser of
Representatives are now Uiiit-al Statiw
S Dators : Messrs. Frye and Hale, of
Alaim- ; Aldrich, of Rhode Island; Haw
ley, <f Conneeti mt; T.apham and Mil
ler, of New York ; Mitchell, of Pennsyl
vania, and Conger, of Michigan.
John Battersbv, for twenty years the
chief of living skeletons in the side
shows, has of late been missed from the
ranks of the human curiosities. The
reason is that, from a weight of -ftfty
leven pounds he has rapidly crown to
125, and ho has considerately gone tc
blacksmithing. f
■ - O r —»—r—— - -
Whangue Land, which Ciiuula. claims
under the old boundary treaty, mid
which claim the United Stales disputes,
is on the north coast of Siberia and over
a thousand mile# from the American
eoast. There w ill be no fighting over its I
possession. It ain’t worth it.
Massachusetts has a Judge who evi
dently enjoys his morning naps. He
has rendered a decision that the ringing
of a. church bell at 5 o’clock in the morn
ing is a public nuisance, mid if people
must worship nt that hour they should
do so without distiirljing their neigii
>ors. _ .
Since David Davis is President of the
Senate, the public gem-rally are anxious
Io know - to which party heMelongs. Mr.
Davis, wo believe, is not much annoyed
on the subject. Ho is whero lle feels at.
liberty to take a plum from either party,
and plums he is very fond of.
—
The convicts of the Ohio Penile,ntinry
sent SIOO to t-hc Michigan sufi’erers.
They raised the amount by denying
themselves the luxury of tobacco ami
the salfi 'of trinkets which they had
made. Really, this expression of sym
pathy from such a source is touching.
. .<.
The father of Mrs. Christrai-icy testi
fied in Washington the other day that
|pr. vons to accepting the Senator Lis
[ daughter had refused twenty-five offers
of ..m itrimony. "This, we suppose, is an
: instance of passing by Jll the straight j
i and taking a crooked stick in the end. .
\ hout the meanest thing we aro able •
t>> c dl to min 1 just now is the action of :
the steamboat companies whose crafts I
ply Dljiwden the Naticmnl Capital and
Yorktown. For the benefit of those at
tending the Yorktown celebration they I
put the fare up) to five times the usual j
price. What noble patriots those fel- j
lows are.
Genebaii Garfield wrote in answer j
to a friend who bad congratualated him ■
upon his election to the Senate : “As (
to the hope you express that I shall be ;
ealleil higher, I can only say that my ’
id' ii of the highest ambition of a public !
man ought to be to discharge fully the ;
duties of the position to which he is al- ;
ready called. A man is not in position
to discharge his duties fully and without,
bias if he is aspiring to higher places ‘
and laboring to secure them. The post:
of greatest usefulness ought to be the i
place of the highest honor.”
Love was at the bottom of the Arkan
sas train robbery. The threejboyish fel- ;
lows who committed the crime were !
moneyless and desperately in love, and
rending bow easy it wn for the Jani'
bovn to rob a train, resolveil to imitate .
th' tn to bridge over the obstacle standing
between themselves, their girls and matri
mony. They obtained the money, but
thinking they would not be pursued,
they made no effort to escape. Their
girls, no doubt, feel bad to think that
for their sake they were led to the com
mission of a crime that has culminated
in ii seventy-years’ sentence in the peni
tentiary.
-Mr. Vennor says in the preface of his
almanac for 1882: “I lay no claim to
the discovery of an infallib) >. system of
fosnteUiug weather. The science of
piActleal .meteorology is yet in its in
fancy, and is being studied by men
whose abilities are. far greater than any
I could endeavor to lay claim to. There
w’ill be many mistakes before a right
understanding or interpretation of its
principles is arrived at. Based, as my
system of predictions must be, on records
of weather as yet incomplete and very
faulty, the results can not be entirely
satisfactory, more especially in respect,
to new ground yet I believe the key to
the solution of the problem lias been
, found, and that all errors will but aid in
, more correctly discovering the secrets of
coming months.”
■ - > ———
IStiM-k-ltaislng in the West.
The.freedom to pasture cattle on ex
cellent, grazing liuid,-together with an
accessible market, are the main reasons
xyliy at present stock-farming is particu
larly profitable.’ The first of these con
ditions ’is precarious, and it is evident
that in ten years there wlill not be much
goixl free range left east, of the Missouri
river. When immigration to that extent
shall have shut him off from free pastur*
age, the stock man can either sell his
farm at probably four times its present,
value, and move to Dakota or. Montana,
or else turn bis attention to. fattening
stock on grain lor other parties.
For instance, as a practical case, there
is a jjattle man of Council Bluffs who is
said to own 100,000 head of Cattle in
Idaho. He bus u range of si*ty square
miles of land not worth a cent to the
acre for agriculture, yet. nflbrding excel
tent pasture for cattle. He lias ten men
'employed at wages v frying-- from $24 to
S4O per month to look after tho stock.
These men require 260 ponies to handle
the cattle. An overseer is hired ut
$1,200 a year. During the winter, how
.'■r, four men can du rill tin- work n--
qnlii-'l, wliirti fs mainly bi'i'-iikilig the 18'
iii the streams that tho cattle may have
wafi'i . Streams serve as the great checks
upon-the cattle straying away, for they
never will go fur from water. In the
spring- of the year the ciittlo men of' the
plains have a grand “ round up (us it
I is called), the stock is picked out. by
! menus of the brand, and those cattle
I that are meant for the Eastern manset
are• started .for Omaha. They travel
about ten miles a day, and gen
erally take the wlrole" season in
tho journey from tha winter
ground- to -the Missouri bottom. At
Omaha the cattle are put on the train
and-shipped nominally to Chicago, but
really to different ppiuts along the road,
f to Tie handed over to farmers for fatten
ing. Air. Stewart delivered over 1,900
. liend to farmers Inst fall, and of these
only eight were lost during the winlci-.
who receive the eattle agrec
to fat ten them at the rate 0f.5 csints for
every extra pound of weight they add to
the animal. This seems small at first
night, but When cattle put on 250 extra
pounds during a winter, and where tw - o
begs are fesl from the refuse of each ox,
the farmer finds that the result to him is
equivalent to selling his corn nt 100 per
cent, profit. 'The large cattle-raisers, of
course, have their inspectors, who travel
from farm to farm to look after their
property, and gat her it together hi the
spring for shipment to Chicago, wlrcre
they are either slaughtered or shipped
to Europe. The cattle men have a great
advantage over mere farmers, in tbut,
they are to a great extent independent
of railways. If they are liudly treated
by one corporation, they have a simple
remedy in driving theirstocka few - miles
to the next road.— Jlarpei’s Mar/azim...
Gough.
After all bis life-long work upon the
platform, and with the high fees his
I fame and abilities justly command, John
R. G nigh is not a rich man. His private
• hurit ies are as large and numerous as I hey
I are unostentatious, for this great-hearted
man does not. let his left hand know what
bis right hand does. Ha has met with
I frequi nt. and heavy losses on account Os
I the tender-hearted willingness with
! wbiclrhe puts his valuable autograph on
I lbe back of a friend’s album for ninety
: Jays, and the almost infallible certainty
! with which he is compelled to get it back
i again for himself when tho three short
I months have flown. Mr.Gougli ought to
be worth $500,000, but like most men
! whose hearts are wrapped up in, and
j whose lives are consecrated,to some great
- work of ref Tm, lie is not a good busi-
I ness man, and impecunious friends and
; suffering humanity have got most of the
' money the great apostle of temperance
baa earned by hard platform work.
“ Have you spoken to pa about that
I vet?” anxiously inquired the oldest
| daughter of her indulgent mother. “No,
• my child, not yet. Your father is too
i busy with his creditors to think of pony
’ phaetons and russet harness to match
I just now.” “Bother the creditors,”
was the snappish reply. “That’s what
; your father is doing, my dear. After
he has compromised you shall have your
turnout.”
If want of sense ‘s the worst kind of
1 poverty, we know rorn's people who
light to have been ' i the poorhousu
sm<’u their childhood.- t,'ini]>ton.
ftO. 42
u Affidavits Arc Not Lobsters.”
Gen. James Grant Wilson furnishes
the Cape Ann Advertiser with the fol
lowing pleasant gossip about old Admiral
Collin—one of thi Coffins, by the way—
and the great variety about Cape Cod of
lobsters weighing exactly ninety pounds.
Sir Isaac Coffin, a British Admiral and
a member of the family which held a fa
mous rouuion at Nantucket, August 16,
was born at Boston, and when a child
lived for sonic years on Cape Cod. Sir
Isaac came to this country soon after the
war of 1812, and during the voyage he
■stated to the officers of his tlag-sliip that,
when they r rn'-hed Capo Cod he would
show them Ibbsters that, weighed ninety
pounds ! The rules of a quarter deck do
not permit you to flatly eoiiffadiet an
Admiral, but still some doubt and dis
trust was_visible on the countenanced of
th ■ Captain and L’entenants who stood
ii'-oui,.’." “V, .11,” s u'd Sir
you ('l-.iibt it, I will make yon
ihat when we reach Cape Cod I will
produoe'h- lobster that weighs niuotv
piuinds.” The wager was made under
tho gracious permission of the Admiral,
and when they arrived there Sir Isaac
scoured the Cape, but he could not find
any lob ter that weighed ninety poujids,
so h ■ said : “ Well, thl y don’t, happen
to lie hore just now, tint I will obtain
the affidavits of the old fishermen to
prove that tltore are such lobsters.”
And he produced a pile of affidavit?,
showing that when there were fishermen
in early times -lobsters thitt weighed
niu'-l.i pounds >vire as I'onimon as
liuck.'eh'-iri -s on the Cape. Then it was
left to an umpire to deciile, which had
lost and which had 'Von, rind by him so
concise a judgment was given that if
now living it would entitle him to the
\ i -.-i! t Jrdgesliip in the Afassnehnsetts
Supreme,Court, if all bin decisions wore
equally-go:"!. His decisions was that
“ affidavits are not lobsters.”
The d stingnished tnembei- of the Cof
fin family, writing tobis friend Commo
dore Isaac Hull, iq 1816, says: “.Many
thanks for yogr kind exertions; send
the ninety pound lobster wlnm:you can.
My rqiittidioH will he saved, although
my money is gone,” and in another let
ter no.v lying before me the Admiral re
marks : “'1 he lobster • you committed
to ('apt. Tracy arrived in good condition,
and is considered a marvelous one here.
Still my friend Sir Joseph Banks longs
for one of ninety pounds.” Whether
Hull succeeded in saving Sir Isaac’s
reputation by sending him n ninety
pound lobster' 1 very much regret I niu
iinnlile Io state, but. a vein rable tllouces
tcr fisherman whom the writer consulted
4>n tho sub ject said : “ There ain’t been
no sic.h 10l stors seen on Cape Ann durin’
the last sixty years, an’ I don’t believe
any 6ich were ever caught on Cape Cod.”
Aunt Susan’s Suggestions to n Fretful
■■ Wife.
“Hester;” exclainicd Aunt Susan,
ceasing her rocking and knitting, and
sitting unpright. “Do you know what
your liusb'uid - will do when you aro
dead?"
“ Whitt do you mean ?” xvas the start
led reply.
“ He will marry tho sweetest-tempered
girl he can find. ”
“ Oh, auntie 1” Hester began.
“Don’t interrupt me until I’ve fin
ished,” said Aunt Susan, leaning back
and taking up her knitting. “She may
not bo as good a honsekeeper as you are;
in fact, 1 think not, lint shewill lie good
natured. She may not eVen love him as
well as you do, but she will be good-na
tured/’
“ Why, auntie—”
“ That isn’t all,” continued Aunt Su
san. “ Every day you live you are mak
ing your husband more and more in
love with that good-natured woman, who
may take, your place some day. After
Mr. and Mrs.' Harrison left you the
other night, the only remark he made
alioiJ. them was : ‘She is a sweet wom
an.’”
“ Oil, auntie—”
“Tbut isn’t all,” composedly contin- '
ned Aifflt Susan. “ToStay your huS
bimd was half way across the kitchen
floor, I ’ringing you the first ri|>e loach
es, and all you (lid wag to look i>u and
say : ‘There, Will, just see your tracks
on my clean floor! I won’t have my
floor all tracked up.’ Some men would,
have thrown the peaches out of the win
dow. To-day you screwed up your face
when he kffiscd yon, because hjs mus
tache was dtunp, and said, ‘ I never want
you to kiss riieagain.’ When he empties
anything you tell linn not to spill it;
when he lifts.anything you tell him not
to break it. From morning until night
your sharp voice is heard complaining
and fault-finding. And last winter,
when you were sick, you scolded him
about bis allowing the pump to freeze,
mid took no notice when he said. ‘ I was
so anxious about you that I. did not
think of the pump.’ ”
“But, auntie—”
“ Hearken, child. The strong .-st and
most intelligent of them all care more
for a woman's tenderness than for any
thing else in the world, and without this
the cleverest and most perfect house
keeper is sure to lose her husband’s af
fection in time. There may be a few -
more men like Will—as gentle, us lov
ing, as chivalrous, as forgetful of self,
and so satisfied with loving that their
affections will die a long, struggling
i death ; but in most eases it takes but a
few years of fretfulnessami fault-finding
to turn a husband’s love into irritated
indifference.”.
“But, auntie— ’*
“ Yes, well ! you are notdegd yet, and
t hat sweet-natured woman has not been
found: so you have time to be
come so serene and sweet that your hus
band can never imagine that there is a
bctter-teiiipered woman in existence.”
There is red and green as well as
black ebony.
R£TES OF ADVERTISING.
Sp.»ct. Imo [1 » ■s•• I >*r.
one i> •»u » ft oil • 750 ll» M
Two iiH’ije’, I 3 7’> " ft< 000 lAM
Three 1 rhe*. | ft 00 in 00i 12 50 3» M
Four inch-*, (H 12 ftO Ift (• JA M
Kon ilk Column. 7 fc” Ift IM" 2o 00j 30 M
Half coin.nn, 11-ni 20 OOL M 0* 6J M
<» e roll'Dlh, lA<» -30 001 w 00| 100 00
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men ts.
HUMORS OF THE DAY.
Was Eve’s first dress made of bear
skin?
U naturally look P Qliar if U KO
D and going to D K.—BiZZ Nye.
In some hats the cabbage leaf must
feel perfectly at home.— (Quincy Modem
A r</o. ‘
Inquire : The must horrible suicide
on records is that of the man who took a
drink of Chicago water.— Boston Post.
My father was Irish,
• My mother was Irish,
And J am Irish atew.
—1 'onker't
iIT was probably an Irish missionary
w|i<>, when about to be masticated by
Hie cannibals, originated that beautiful
song :
When you lose a needle, ou the floor,
the quickest was - to fiml it is to takdhoff
your shoes and walk ujiout. But some
how people don’t do that way.
“ Grsth ulation," says .an eminent
actor, “is fasti iiwonnug aloe t art!” He
probably never saw Talmage fencing
with an imaginary lobster. Herald
Ak Ar.RAS’i - paper tells of a woman in
this city who woke her husband during
a storm and said: “I do wish you would
stop snbi-iug, for I want to hear it thun
der !”'
“fkiNFouND it! you’ve shot the dog !
I thought you told me you qould hold a
i gun. ”. Pat." -"Shnre, and so I can, Four
honor. It’s the shot, sor, I couldn’t
hould !”
A HAD-i-EiU’ERED man : He had lost his
knife and they asked him the usual
question : “Do yon know where you lost
it?” “Yes, yes,” he replied, “of course I
do. I’m merely hunting in these other
places for it to kill time.”
Not every man can tell from exper
ience how it feels to be struck by light
ning, but he enn get some idea of it by
going suddenly aronnd a ’corner ana
meeting iiis mother-in-law while he is
walking witli a pretty girl.— Boston
Pott.
A Keokuk man succeeded in hugging
his sweetheart to death. Bat he has no
trouble in finding others. The girls
seem rather anxious to take their chances
on his hugging- 1 them to death. They
don’t belive he can do it; would just like
to see him try it.
An Irish lady was so much on her
guard against betraying her national ac
cent that she is reported to have spoken
of the “crewZm'e of Vesuvius,” fearing
that tile crater would betray- her again.
—Allmny Journal. She finds her paral
lel in the Yankee who speaks of the jril
lows of n portico.
■ When a corpulent citizen endeavors to
jump off the dummy of one of our cable
roads while on the down grade and falls
on the track in the front of the wheels
nothing gives him so much genuine sat
isfiitfon as, just when he is about to be
crushed to pulp, to wake up and find
himself on the flour beside his own bed.
-r-San Prancim-M Post.
How pestering little things will hap
pen. A stranger in a Middlesex County
village was looking for a man named
Ondeck, and when he went up to a fel
low and asked : “Are you Ondeck?” the
fellow answered. “I reckon! I am,” and
the'stranger tried to talk-business to him
and they got all mixed up in a misunder
standing and hud to be parted by the
bystanders before they got through. And
it was all on account of that confounded
name.— Boston Post.
English social life presents many
points of interests in its slang. We have
all probably rend- the anecdote of a
young American lady in England (not a
“fair Barbarian,” either) who, while play
ing brocket, exclaimed at a surprisingly
fortunate shot of an opposing player:
“Oh! what a horrid scratch!’ where
upon a young English ludy remarked :
“You shouldn’t use such language, it’s
slang!” “Well, what slionld 1 say?”
asked Miss America. “Oh! what a
benstlv fluke !’’— Nc<v Orleans Times.
M ho anil Whom.
A to<» freiyient. error is the use of the
objective “ whom” instead of the nomi
native “ who” In such expressions as
“ the men whom he says’were present.”
This sentence should read : “ The men
who he says were present.” “ Who ”is
not governed by the verb “ says,” but. is
the subject of “were,” ami should be in
the nominative. “ Whom” is a stiff and
clumsy word nt. the best. It it very lit
tle used in conversation, even by highly
cultivated people. It has n flavor of
pedantry and affectation. The usual
substitute of “whom” is “that,” as
“the man that I saw,” or it may lie
omitted altogether in many cases. No
body of any taste would think of using
such sentences in conversing as “ Os
whom are you speaking?” “Whom do
you menu?” These phrases may lie
grammatically correct, but they are de
cided!.' inelegant. The easiest way to
deal with them is the la st. “ Who is it
von are speaking of?” or “Who is it
you mean ?” are equally good English,
and far more graceful forms expression.—
A. >’. Star.
Work is the law of our being—the
living principle that carries men and na
tions onward. Tins greater number of
men have to work with their hands as a
matter of necessity, in order to live; but
all must work in one way or another, if
they would enjoy life as it ought to lie
enjoyed. Labor may lie a burden and a
cliastiscment, but it is also an honor and
a glory. Without it nothing can be ac
complished. All that is great in man
comes through work, and civilization is
its product. Were labor abolished, the
race of Adam were at once atrioken by
moral death.