ottl) oTgi at),
PUBLISHED EVERY UII'RSDAY
—AT—
BELLTON, GA.
Bv MYERS J3TJICE.
DR. D. M. BREAKER, Editor.
Office in the Smith bnildinc, east of the
■depot.
TERMS—SI.OO per annum* •:§ cents for
six months, in advascb, . After three
months, $1.25; after six montha, 41.50 per
Annum.
Fifty numbers to the volume.
NEWS GLEANINGS.
Mississippi’s population has increased
300,000 in ten years.
South Carolina’s cotton crop will be
606,209 bales of 400 pounds each.
There are 3,019 prisoners in the Texas
penitentiary.
The public debt of Tennessee is $33,
000,000.
ThCre are 70,000 head of cattle and
35,0:0 head of sheep in Mitchell county
Texas.
Georgia has forty*" (Attott mills, and
they pay from eight to twenty-five per
cent, net on the Uoney invested.
An eighteen pound sweet potato is
among ’.he Georgia exhibits at the At
lanta ’Exposition.
A fig bush in Mobile, Ala., is credited
witjj producing annually 300 bushels of
w teat.
Birmingham, Ala., expects two rail
roads to center there within the next
three or four years.
The city council of Knoxville, Tenp.
has passed an ordinance preventing the
sale of parlor or other explosive matches
within the corporate limits.
Ihe Atlanta Con stitution reprints an
old freight bill issued for the Georgia
road forty-one years ago. Ilogs and i.i'-
groes were charged $3 each.
forty -eight applications for divorce
were fi'.ed at Chattanooga from July 3
t" vemher 1, and only 110 marriage
uses were issued.
The citizens of Sparta, Ga., have not
paid any municipal lax for over two
years. The retail liquor licenses have
more than paid the expenses of the
town.
The cotton crop of A htlianm for the
present season, notwithstanding the
drouth and other disasters that beset it
during the year, will not fall more than
ten per cent, behind that of last year.
The largest block of marble ever gotten
out in Hawkins county, Tennessee, con
tained 135 feet and weighed 24,00(1
pound- and required twenty-four horses
to draw it.
A bale of cotton n ,s sold at Waynes
boro, ( >a, a few days ago, that had 200
pounds of sand c oncealed in the center,
of it. Jhe negro win owned it acknowl
edged the e,and.
Ihre., lengthy, angular women passed
through Rome, Ga., a few days since to
joiu the M-ruuuis, They said the mis
sionary told them tliey could get hus
bands by going to Utah.
Eureka springs, Ark., l-.y authority of
the Governor, is now declared a city of
the first-class. Within two years and
three months from the building of the
first cabin, it has become second in pop
ulation in the State.
It is occtifionally a long time between
drinks in Texas. Local option is en
forced on the road between Benham and
Crooks, and for sixty miles tin- law
doesn’t allow the tiaveler to wet fil
lips.
Opie Read's “Uncle Jerry” philoso
phises: De ole time nigger is parsin’
away. When dese- ole bones is laid
to rest in de narrow bed of eternal sleep,
my sons, wid dar young buckish way
will be goin’ roun’ declarin’ dat dar
fodder want nebber a slabe.
Chickasaw (Ark.) Messenger: On the
morning of the election we ate as nice
biscuits, in which the cotton seed oil
was used, as we ever saw, and we here
and now declare we tajre no more lard
in ours. The oil is cleaner and cheaper
than lard, and has a better flavor.
John Greenwood, of Walker’s Station,
Red River county, Texas, offers SI,OOO
reward for the return of a boy child
nineteen months old, white-haired, blue
eyed, with fair complexion, which was
taken from Shawnee Prairie, in that
county. The child had a very dim scar
on the back of the left hand, and a sear
on the left side, a few inches below the
arm pit.
Jacksonville (Fla.) Union : Mr. David
Dyal, of Nassau county, Fla., has gone
to the Atlanta Cotton Exposition. He
took along with him, just to show what
there is in Florida, what he calls hi
walking stick, which is ninety-five feet
long, is perfectly straight, hewn to an
eight square, and fifteen inches in. diam
eter. He also took a cabbage palmetto
stalk, sixty-one feet long to the leaves,
and with the leaves is sixty-seven feet
lone; also, a pine flag-pole eighty feet
long, a poplar flag-pole sixty-one feet
long, and a jioplar stalk forty feet loop
and thirty-two inches dmmdter, eight
square.
■ ' ■ I .‘Z . 1 ■ | .
—— • ip ■ t ,i) , f „, y , ~a ' .a.IK!KWh - ■ ■
The North Georgian.
VOL. IV.
TOPICS OF THE DAY.
A stor’s campaign in New York cost
him $200,000.
i'HK temperance tidal wave is cruising
about in lowa.
The Go verinnent paid $40,00.0 for the
Yorktown celebration.
—
Smat.t.pox is so bad in Chicago that
an epidemic is feared.
Tkiutcttn of the next Legis
latnie of Virginia "xli be colored mon.
Ij-.utv newspapers published ill Ne
braska f.ivor women suffrage.
Tins wife of Mackay, the millionaire,
rid s in n carriage in Paris which coat
830,000.
'1 hi: word “ grease” is no longer in de
mand. What is not butter is lard, and
vice Versa.
mines of Colorado yielded $23,-
00b,000 last year <4,000,000 more than
the State of ciuiir.
A war ht-3 been begun iu Chicago ot;
retail grocery attires for selling beer by
the bucket to minors.
Tns Irish National Land League of
t his country has sent'sl27,B3s to Ireland
during the past three months.
Stationary wages, with an increased
cost of the necessaries of life, will have
a tendency to produce strikes.
“With malice aforethought ” is what
riles Guiteau. He is sane enough to
know that that sort of tiling won’t du.
The simpler the ceremony the more
lush: nabie the wedding. Dame Fashion
’miles on the poor at last.
——
Berlin has a Sauer-Kraut Exchange.
We thought the Germans would eventu
ally corner that article.
. . ■ —.
Dakoia T. zrftory, anxious.to bo ad
mitted into the Union as a State, claims
a population of 150,609.
—♦
The Prince of Wales was forty-two
yeai.s old th. •'Jlh, bf November, and hu
hasn’t st,we I all his wild oats yet.
—I .-
Seven comets h ive bobbed up severely
this year, still the old world rolls along
without a jar in the same old rut.
Talmage says when a boy isn’t good
for any thing they make a preacher of
him, and that ls what ailes the ministry,.
-
Ir is expected Chat this Country itnd
Mexico will be in direct felegrapbic
omumiiuication with Peru and Brazil by
June next.
Including magazines and other peri
odicals, there are 11,418 publications in
the United Stater. Os this number 982
are daily papers.
—
• Wr.,.r.:•«, who attempted to blackmail
Jay < iorill, is said to be respectably con
nected. That always seems to lot the
criminal down easy like.
Senator Sherman wants a law by
A'hicfi a creditor may persue a debtor
from one State to another. He can do
that now, if he so desires.
- ♦ ■*
Ihe White House so completely
torn upside down by carpenters and
piasters, that Arthur is beginning to de
spair of getting into it.
♦
Jewish refugees from Russia and Ger
many are flocking to America by the
hundreds. It is expected that 5,000 will
come here during the winter.
Gov. John D. Long, of Massachu
setts, accompanied his Thanksgiving
proclamation with an original hymn of
four stanzas, in common meter
Blain, is worth $1,000,000, and yet
his political ambition will not let him
stop at that, “ 1884 ” looks just as big
to him as it does to any one else.
The Chicago Tariff Convention asked
for the abolition of the internal revenue,
and declared for “a wise protection sys
tem.’’ This of itself is somewhat vague.
Go--. I i. J -hn, of Kansas, charges
■lm Brewers' Congress at Chicago with
th exirmditure of an un
limited amount of money to defeat the
prohibitory law in Kansas.
♦ ■ -
Adelina Patti has condescended to
appear before the Cincinnati public in
the oratorio of the Messiah, December
28. Beer and music in Cincinnati will
continue to go band in hand.
-
Strange things get into some foreign
BELLTON. BANKS COUNTY. GA., NOVEMBER 24, ISBI.
, ■ ... < ■ . ... . . »;■ -s- F..l> < t .... it....
newspapers. A Russian journal relates
to its reader, that President Arthur is an
Irishman who was driven from his coun
try by England’s misrule.
The State Auditor of Indian'a has
. been advised by Attorney General Bald
i win to open a war on tho Graveyard In
surance Companies of other States who
have been operating in Indiana.
So many boys in Baltimore have been
fatally injured through the handling of
tho "toy pistol” that a city ordinance
has been passed making it unlawful to
sell the article within the city limits.
The fact is recalled that Judge Folger,
tho new Secretary of the Treasury, was
one of the nine mon in the New York
Legislature in 1867 who voted in favor
of giving woman the ballot.
♦
Ltcy D. Fisk, relict of Jitn Fisk,
writes a card to the New York Herald
in defense of the charity of Jay Gould.
She says he has always responded to
her actual needs since the death of her
husband.
Guiteau may be insane, but at the
same time he is sane enough to know
that his life is in jeopardy, and there is
not a level-headed lawyer in the country
who has a keener appreciation of tho in
sanity plea than he.
— —'■
Cincinnati has figured largely in tho
j Atlanta Cotton Exposition. You see,
tin re is a railroad from Cincinnati to At
i lanta, and it is fondly hoped that as a
fine of transportation it will have about
; all it can do in the future.
Tint newspapers published that Jessie
Baldwin, of Youngstown, Ohio, had a
quantity of gold in his house. Thieves
I went and blowed Baldwin’s safe open and
carried oft’ his gold to the amount of
j $30,000. This is additional evidence of
I the value of newspaper advertising,
.. —. »■ i—— —■ —
Gon had commissioned Welles to kill
I Jay Gould, but Welles was willing the
Divine command should miscarry, pro
vided Gould would give him a pointer
on stocks. This is precisely a parallel
c-aso u, Gnit.wu's, »>Ui the excep
tion that, Guiteau was permitted to ex
ecute the command.
fli Ni;i E. Abbey has engaged Patti for
j thirty concerts at something over $4,000
I ,i night. These concerts will bo divided
i up among the large cities of the couti
i neat. The highest price of admission,
Abbey asserts, will be five dollars, with
| A sliding scale downard.
e.
Patriotism, in Ireland, takes gome
j curious turns. For instance, when a
i .farmer pays his rent, u lot. of patriots go
i and cut the. tails off of one. hundred of
j his cattle, in the name of liberty. How
i they propose to free Ireland with there
i tails is more<tlii»n wo know.
•7*r
1f the word of a crank is of any force,
j God is appointing a great many people
iu this country lo go about killing their
fellow men. Ts wo should get in the
habit of stringing cranks up as fast as
they pop to the surfiu’.e, there would Boon
be a cessation of Divine murderers.
Hi nry Ward Br.F.itiEß being adver
tised to lecture before the Young Men’s
Hebrew Association,'a correspondent of
the ■/' Irish' McMcnfjer- objects, because
Mr. Beecher oner- said that the “ancient
Jews hadn’t much moral sense and
Jacob’s twelve sous were little better
' than cutfliroate.,''
The New York Christian 77/i?onz!".aks
In the highest terms of the devotion ot
l Edwin Booth to his wife, whose death
has just been recorded. “Evil-minded
persons,” it says, “would be put. to
shame if a statement of the character of
Mrs. Booth’s illness and the devotion
and tenderness of her husbtad, were
I made publie.”
Really we take compacston on those
I persons who put bo much faith in
Mother Shipton’s prophecy. Their con
fidence in prophets is sadly shattered
and thev certainly feel bad over it.
Mother Shipton’s trash, like herself, is
| now dead, and it should lie buried very
deep. Superstition has seen its best
day by all odds.
Because Colombier claims to have
written the Bernhardt book, Sarah
i Bernhardt takes occasion to remark that
“if Colombier were a man she’d smash
her head.” Now then, wouldn’t it looks
J just as angelical for Bernhardt to smash
a -woman’s head as it would for her to
smash a man’s? Let the smashing go
' on. *
The Protective Tariff Convention at
Chicago recommended that the Presi
dent appoint a commission “to revise
’ our revenue system, including our tariff
laws, in the interest of protection and
for needed revenue,’' and pass, d a resi.
i lution asking for the abolishment of in
ternal revenues. In other words, it has
asked for a revolution in the tariff sys
tem.
Mat. Price, Commissioner of Indian
Affairs, has at last shed a fiiy of light on
the vexations Indian question. He says
we feed the White River murderers while
we compel the Uintachs to largely care
forthemselves, and as a consequence of
this cause of treatment the Indians are
taught to believe that if they are to get
favors' from the Government they must
tefuse to work and commit depredations
against the Government. It does look
ns if theft was some truth in this state
ment.
Whilh boring an artesian well in tho
vicinity of Richmond and Carr streets,
Cincinnati, a stream or vein of gas, was
struck at a depth of eighty-three feet.
A “cap" was put on tho pipe which had
been, driven down, and rivited to confine
the gas. but the force of the gne burst
th<> cap off. A pipe forty feet in length
was then attached to tho driven pipe to
convey the gas from tho building, and to
test the quality of tile article u match
was pnt to the gas as it escaped at tho
end of the attached pipe, when it ignited
and a blaze shot out seven feet produc
ing light equal to 500 ordinary gas
burners. The phenomena is producing
considerable excitement.
——
Commander Cheyne, of tho Royal
Navy, has delivered a course of lectures
iu Chickering Hall, Now York, illustrat
ing how it is possible to reach the North
Pole by balloon. Cheyne was an officer
in throe Franklin-search expeditions.
Ho desires to be accompanied by Lieu
tenant Schwatka. The idea is to go in
vessels in tho spring, until travel by that
process becomes dangerous, and then to
continue in balloons, three in number,
each balloon carrying three men, n
sledge, Esquimaux dogs, provisions, and
instruments. Tho distance calculated
at 690 miles, can bo made in eighteen to
twenty-four hours, at the rate of thirty
nino miles per hour.
Forced Marches.
Tn 1757 Frederick the Great marched
about 160 miles 20days; and again, after
Ttossbnrh, a little greater distance in 15
days, but lost 300 men through exhaus
tion. In 1760, with 40,000 men and
1,000 wagons, he accomplished about 1-0
miles m 5 days. The same year the
Au trian (reneral Lnsc.y, with 15,000 men
“knocked off’’ 180 miles in 10 days.
Prnice Eugene, of Wurteinberg, to re
lieve Berlin, made a forced march on
the 4th of October, 1760, of 3G miles 1
day. This latter does not approach the
feat of the Sixth Corps—3s miles in 19
hours. It may be remembered by many
of those who served with tho Armv of
the Potomac that Birney’s First (Red
Diamond) division of the Third Corps
hud won for themselves the nickname
of “ Birney’s Foot Cavalry,” and this
title was subsequently applied to the
Second Corps after the Third Corps was
combined with it. In regard to the
Third Corps, Army of tho Potomac, the
writer feels that it, deserves equal pre
eminence with the Third Corps of the
French Army under Napoleon in the
campaign of 1806. Os the latter organi
zation, Marshal Davoust said to Napol
eon during this, the Jena campaign,
when the Emperor expressed his ad
miration of its achievements and his
grief at its heavy losses, “Sire, the
soldiers of the Third Corps, will ever be
to you what the Tenth Legion was to
Cmsar.” (Alison, ii., 457, 2). The ac
tivity of the Third and of the combined
Second-Third Corps rivaled that of
Ondiuot’s Grenadier’s, in October, 1805,
when they actually outmarched cavalry,
accomplishing 12 leagues a day, and
contributed chiefly to the capture of
the Austrian Archduke Ferdinand’s col
umn, which liad escaped from Ulm. In
the pursuit of the Sixth Corps kept up
1 with the cavalry on the 6th —so says Col. ,
■ Archabald Hopkins, Thirty-seventh
1 Massachusetts Volunteers, in his account,
of (Little) Sailor’s Creek, 6th of April,
1865 —and it is claimed that the Fifth
Corps had likewise equaled the speed of
the horsemen, prior to the concentration
at Jetersvillo, evening of tho sth. Tie
infantry, both of the Army of the Poto
mac and of the Army of Northern Vir
j ginia, justified Lieut-Gen. Baron Al
bert's magnificent enlogy on the foot
soldiers, whom he styles “ the sinews of
an army." Gen. Roche-Aymon says
that cavalry is to infantry what poetry
is to prose, and, be meant exactly what
these words express. It is not a bad
comparison, inasmuch as the world
might go on without poetry, while it
would be utterly impossible to get along
without prose. Moreover, good poetry
is very rare, whereas excellent prose is
not. Poetry, too, while all very fine, is
at best no more to real life than what
dessert is to a dinner.— The United
Service.
Rambling.
Gambling in any form is. In the end.
disastrous to the one who is not “ with
the bank.” No matter what its appar
ent inducements may be. the loser is the
investor, the gainer the person who
I holds out s<> many inducements to the
unwary, ft is stated by those who have
made some kinds of calculations that, on
an average; tho investor stands from one
’ ohimeo in five to oiu' » twenty of gain
irig anythin?, ft dot* hot pay as a mon
1 etary transaction; it is ruinous morally.
Give all games of chance a wide berth.
Falling Stars.
Astronomers divide meteors into sev
eral classes—-aetial meteors, ns Winds,
tornadoes, etc.; aqueous meteors, as
fogg, tain, snow, hail, etc.; luminoim
meteors, or those due to the action of
elements in the air, ns rainbows, halon,
parhelfas, mirages, etd.; electrical
meteors, as lightnings, auroras, eto.; aud
igneous meteors as shooting or falling
stars, star-showers, bolides or tire-bulls,
aerolites or meteorites, eta. In present
usage, snys Professor Newton, the term
meteor is generally limited to tho last
group, or to the igneous meteors. The
meteorites are all evidently fragments,
not separate formations. They are, says
the same authority, in the heavens, to
some extent, at least, grouped in streams
along the orbits of- known comets, aud
hence have a common origin with them.
The continuity of these streams, the
double and multiple character of Biela s
and other comets, and the steady dimin
ution of comets iu brilliancy of success
ive returns, seems to argue a continuous
breaking up of tho comet into fragments
by some cause, probably by the sun s
heat. This view is strengheued by the
fact that the meteoric irons mid stones
bring with them carbonic acid, which is
known to form so prominent a part of
tho comet’s tail. It is now univer-sally
admitted that, igneous meteors are cause !
by small bodies which have been travel
ing about tho situ in their orbits, but
now come into the earth’s atmosphere,
and, in general the shape of broken
fragments of stone. The outside is
usually covered with a thin black crust,
which is evidently due to a melting of
the surface in the atmosphere. There
have been found at various times and
places, loose iron masses that are as
sumed to be of meteoric origin, because
tin ir peculiar form, theirpeeuliar chemi
cal composition, and their peculiar
crystaline structure are like those of the,
iron masses that have been seen in sev
eral instances to come down from me
teors. Shooting-stars are seen on any
ch ar, moonlight night; they leave be
hind, many of them, a bright cloud of
phosphorescent light ; the meteors and
their trains have various colors—white,
green, blue, yellow, scarlet, etc.; the
duration of the flight is generally less
than a second of time, but tho brighter
ones may Inst several seconds. The me
teorites contain no elements, so far as we
know, which have not been found on the
earth, but these elements are com
pounded differently from any terrestrial
minerals ; sometimes they reach the
earth, and again are consumed in their
mrse. CMcaf/o Inter Ocean.
An Ingenious Rascal.
The, theater of Ofen (Buda-Pesth) was
the scene of his debut, though this was
made in a logo, not on the stage. It ap
peals that a certain Hungarian countess,
well known for tier riches aud beauty
(the same spirited Indy who seconded
her brother in n duel) graced with her
presence tho performance at the Arcsa,
or summer theater. On one of her hiir
fingers my lady wore two splendid dia
mond rings, exactly like each other.
During an eidr' ante there pres nted
himself in her box a big fellow in gorge
ous livery six feet of the, finest flunkey
Imaginable. Qnoth he, in finest Hunga
rian : “My mistress, Princess I‘—, has
sent to your ladyship, to ask the. loan of
one of your rings for five minutes. Her
highness has observed them from her
box opposite and is very anxious Io have
oneniii.de after the pattern.’’. Without
an instant’s hesitation the countess
handed a ring to “Jeames,” who bowed
with respectful dignity aud retired. The
p< rforniance over, the two great ladies
met on the staircase, and the countess I
begged her friend to keep the ring at her |
convenience. “What ring, my dear?”
Denducme.nt! Tableau 1 The “ pow
dered menial!’’ was no flunky at all,
but a thief, and the ring was gone. Tho
police were informed of the impudent
trick. Justice seemed to have over
taken the culprit in a very few strides,
for next morning the countess, while
still en rcfbe-dc-ejuimbre., received a let
ter informing her that the ttuef had been
caught and the ring found on his p r
soii. “Only," added the note, “the
man stoutly denies the charge and de
clares the ring to be his own. To clear
up all doubt pray come nt once to the
police station, or send the duplicate ring
by bearer.” To draw the second ring
from the finger aud intrust it joyfully
to tfie messenger a fine fellow in full
jiolice uniform, together with a hand
some “tip,” for the glorious news, was
the work of a moment. Only when my
lady an hour later betook herself radiant
to the police-station to recover her jew
els, a slight mistake came to light.
“ Well, my rings? I could not come to
myself the instant I got your letter.”
“ What letter, madam ?” Denouement!
Tableau No. 2 ! The thief had got them
both. — London Globe.
The remarkable discoveries of Jenner,
Pasteur, and others, showing that some
of the most fatal virulent diseases may
be rendered comparatively harmless by
inoccnlution with a weakened virus,
have led to the suggestion of the pos
tibihty of combatting tuberculosis in
the same manner. It is now quite gen
erally believed that this disease, lint
smallpox, chicken cholera and anthrax,
is due to the very rapid increase of cer
tain minute organisms in the body, and
it seems reasonable to hope that inocu
lation with its weakened germs may
produce as favorable results as have
been achieved in the case of the other
maladies. This is an important prob
lem for scienc ■ to solve.
A Colorado town is called Jamfnll.
Its motto is, “ Preserve ns all,” and its
children are all saucy.
tfiiNiiv Ward Beecher says that. God
j keeps a list of rich men who cheat their
poor neighbors.
oYtl) Qeorgfikß
RATES OP ADVERTISING,
SPACE. I mo. 3moi smo‘ 1 >’r.
Onk Invh, I I 7»2 ■" * Sliu tIM »IO <W
Two inched, 3 7.V 750 .o'lKl 1500
Three! dies, .'OO 10 00 12 S" 20 00
Four inches, 6 00| 12 00 .15 0 25 00
Fourth Column, 7 s’ l , 15**0 20 00 30 00
Half column, . II u) 20 00 to (Hi 6>oo
One column. '.'iii'j 30110 woo 10000
®B~AU bills due alter first ineertioa.
Transient advertisements (strictly in ad
vance) JI per inch for the first insertion; 5$
cents per inch for each additional insertion.
Local reading notices 10 cents per line.
Ann mneements $5 each.
Marriage notices and obituaries exceeding
six’ lines will be charged for as advertise -
meats. <u . .
NO. 47.
RUMORS OF THE DAY.
(jXj
A good port-rajt—ss a bottle.
Niagara Fallst—a#id what’s to prevent
It ?
Eli I’bbkinb is rail mad, spelled back
wards.
Does it follow that a woman raise*
thunder because she' puts lightning in
her bread ? ‘
If you want to get rich, mount a
mule, because when you are on a mule
you are Iretter off.
We should think that scarf pins,would
get sea sick. They are so often on the
bosoms of such heavy swells. .
Song of the Sioux Chief as he leaves
the wigwam of his Laughing Water :
“ Oh, Sioux-anna, don’t you cry for
me.”
“Do you know who built the ark ?”
asked a Sunday-school teacher of a little
street Arab; and the little fellow re
plied: “Naw!”
Chicago has a violinist who plays with
his foot. But nobody but a resident of
Chicago would play with his feet.—
ForA Telegram.
A poet who was foud of oysters—
Shi Iley. Ditto, ditto, ten pins—Bowles.
Do. do. soft-shells—Crabbe. Do. do.,
bottles—Suckl i ng.
It is said that a girl who wears No. 2
shoes and beautiful hose can be scared
into believing almost every little bit of
wood or stone she sees is a mouse. —
Boston Post.
“A. large part of our happiness,”
says Mr. Beecher, “is due to our mis
takes.” The printer who got bounced
for sotting up “ infernal ” reception for
“informal ” reception may coincide with
Mr. Beecher, but we doubt it.
IMd’st ever thou gaze on a lovely maid,
AH glorious, radiant, fair,
And think as thou saw’st those rich red lips
Os tho “ unkissed kisses” there?
Because if thou did’st not, this is a
good time to begin’st. Steubenville
Herald.
Tom Hood’s most successful poem was
the “Song of the Shirt.” A great many
American poets don’t sing that sort of a
song, because tho subject is in use seven
days in the week, and it hasn’t time to
be sung about. — Steubenville Herald.
Shh wears finest diamonds and laci r,
And in worth half a million, they say;
Her set socialistic < mbraces
The fashion and wealth of the day;
Her face is a model of beauty
Her praises are sung o’er and o’er;
Hut. what are her wealth and her booty,
When a foghorn can’t equal her snore?
- Detroit Free Preet.
A woman may offer in excuse for her
red nose that she laces too tightly, but
what shall a man say I—Exchange. O,
he can offer tho same excuse. He also
gets too “tightly” by so-lacing himself.
—Norristown Herald.
Although the marriage of Miss Nellie
Grant to Mr. Sartoris, of England, was
criticised in this country at the time,
Nellie did well. Her husband has an
income of about SIO,OOO and one baby a
year.— Kentucky State Journal.
A ballet dancer is not good for much
unless she learns her business in toe toe.
—Boston Courier. If her teacher knows
his business heel teach her to keep in
step.— Faiocofi Strauss. Must she put
her whole sole into it?— Steubenville
Herald.
Here’s a positive fact that occurred in
one of the public schools in this city re
cently : A small boy was asked to name
some part of his own body. Ho thought
for a moment and then replid: “Bowels,
which are five in number—a, e, i, o, u,
and sometimes w and y.— Philadelphia
Bulletin.
“Was it tho drum major brave?”
i asked one soldier of another. “Os
course,” said the other ; “ how can I get
up the necessary excitement, if fife
nothing to stir me? ” “Oh, well, a man
musket courage somehow,” said the first;
“I supjiose most any one cannon occa
sion.” “Yes, that is the general order,
and I’m a bayonet,” said the other:
“ though I wish I’d never be gun.”
On the Safe Side.
A Michigander who was riding along
the highway near Charleston, Virginia, a
few days ago, came across a negro who
was grubbing out a stump near the
meadow fence, and, after a few questions
about farm products, the Wolverine
asked:
“ What do you get for taking that
stump out?”
“ Jist fifty cents,” was the reply.
“How long have you been working
at it?”
“Wall, nigh ’bout a week, I reckon. ,
“And how much longer will it take?”
“Wall, I spects I could finish it to
morrer, but I reckon I won’t do it afore
Friday.”
“ Why?” T L
“ Wall, hoah am de plot. If I finish
it fo-niorrer an’ git my money I’ll be
bound to drap down to Hallton an’ bet
on a boss-race an’ lose it all. Es I wait
till Friday I kin hab de means ob gwine
infer de circus at Charlestown. I knows
my weakness, boss, an’ so Ize gwine to
sot hi’idi an’ dig n leetle an’ sleep a leetle,
an’ chop off de las’ root when I heah de
circus ho’ns blowm’ on top de red skule
housc hill.”
The Medical Student.
No, sonny. When you read about a
medical student walking tho hospitals
you must not infer that he takes the
hospitals out walking so as to exercise
them. It means that he studies the
cases that are there. There are few
students who walk a hospital who don’t
believe that they could run one if they
had a chance.— Cincinnati Saturday
Niaht.
Ida Lewis has saved two members of
a brass baud from drowning. Ida’s
popularity is rapidly decreasing since
this rash act.
