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Win, A.'BRECKENRIBQE, PuhMte* “Onward and Upward. SUBSO DALLAS, PAULDING COUNTY, GA., MARCH 8. 1883. D lt PHYSICIAN & SURGEON, Tenders h r s professional service* in the practice of medicine in all its branches to the citizens. of D.tllas nnd snrroundinsr I country. alTOftlce No. 5 Ac worth slieet, j uear cjurt house. fOPICM «F THE DAT. V. UT^Thus no less than 1,674 Wfl^rmy, but only 250 of aro in iiqMVo service. Milk, in Hartford, bd seven samples of >6 vo adulterated with liy one of his# daughters. So sought her out and married her, but they only lived togotker a few years, not boing able to got along at till. He afterward married a daughter of Victor K. 1’iolott, yithj^fotn ho lived ns happily as lie MpuSrwfsh, and ontortained his friends "In regal stylo. F KlRl.DKU., (1E0. II KOBKRTi I ELDER & ROBERTS, ATTORNEYS AT LAW, Dallas, PauMUvi County, Georgia. Prac‘ioe in all the ciurlu. Prompt akteu* lion given to looking nfier wild laud claim a. Collections a specia ty. 1 ly J M. (SPINKS, 'attorney at law, Dillaa, Paulding County, Georgia. Prompt ntleution given to collections in anv part of the State. Wild lands looked after and intruders ejected. m I And saml it with U> (from Stamps ami I we wtil tend one MIDI lo ait «f 6 new nt\i ICUMyrtle ’triple platei ttn p.jons. Cor- . .. |0|lsln« no bia-h, warnnt'Hl $•« nuine, fqual n||T In appliance to th»eo dollar npions. UU I iQtnranteed to p’ow, or money if funded. Only one eel rcut to Jnt oduco gents wanted and vood pav. i Irru nra f «*«. <• d JK$» tbo m «mtfao - urerr, 8H \ WMUT8H V12B PLATE GO.,- S3 Biooia- fleld etrect, Bostor, Va«. YOU 0 if :1V. V O VNY Kt'J'I )i? Sewing Machine Repaired, BUY All Kinds of Needles, Attachments, Parts, Etc,, Etc, — 01'— I*. McCOJiMACK, 51 8. Broad St., AUunta, Gi. B®"Smd Machines by Express. onfat* lo twelve ; in Mui^lo. one to eight. A LATE Ah»iiwfit Oommissionor of Iceland says tlmwysroper system of at toriul drainage iu^Tio most practical wa; of nssisting thodoluiion of the “Irish question.” By such n system lands could be reoliiimtullymd fnrmors would• I uko tho place ^jfabnrers. An KminbSi/ Frauoli' phymSliin, who lias known Pri^pe Bismark wfll.for near ly n quarter of a qemUry, elys that all talk about the 'Clrfiuoollor’s health break ing down is nltpdHouBcnae. »His nerves and general egjffututioii aroTii admirable condition, mnl bidfuwto rertfliin bo for twenty years to couk" '"" „ The junior M. P. for Edinburg has im ovod upon liis ttflrtt colleague in the atlqwof postal'cards. Mr. Gladstone iod to write Ills, to tho great joy of (iBsachusottfSfliero Is ono divorce iit^on# manages; in Vermont (o writ0 w to tUo t j ot a^A Connecticut, about. £ h „ nt ” Mr . ^ ft ddy * foutt^u; In HI,ode Island, onoj,^,^ £ ft „ ttpplioafious (rora lliB 00n . 'stituouts with a printed card, as fMlows: 'I beg to acknowledge tho reooipt of sour noto. I recolvo so many applion- ions of A similar charaotor, that 1 onn r«,VXi !j» tlO #3r.ar» for sH»i. Music for the Million.—Viennn Eollan l.nhial Organ. Sweetest uni most delightful music know. Popular in Earoce Anytime can b° played on it, from Old Hundred to Yankee Duodle. Even these “with no ear” while away de lightful hours with I Ilia instrument. Any one oau play it. Children play it in one evening. Co3t» hut one-tenth as muches the Orgrnette, Organina, etc., and is far sweeter und needs only eomaion music. To introduce our newmnslcwe will sell da sam ple Organ, with bound book cont-iniug full words and murio cf 96 new and popular songs, which in rhett form reliefer $30.35, prepaid to any ad tress for ONLY tl. C. O. F>.—Aa a guarantee that every one will receive all they pay for, we will send one cample book and organ by express C. O. D„ $1*00; two for $160; three, $2.30, or more at the rate of 19 per dozen. We can not prepay goods sent I‘. O. D. Circulars free. Address MONADNOUK MUSIC GO , Lock Box 7f0, II lisdtile, N. II. Whin Dr. Wector, tho celebrated German oculist, removed Gambotla’s tight eye iu 1867, tho organ was pre served in spirits, “It is tjio eye,” the surgeon said, “of a man who is sure to enact an important part in tho world's history.” Ho was right, and tho oyo is slill preserved. New Yoke is soon to have in readiness a thoroughly drilled and oqnipped life saving corps to act iu conjunction with Fire Department. It will bo pro vided with ingenious mcohanieal con trivances for scaling tho highest builds ings and bringing inmates in safety to lire ground. Acconmxo to tho report of the Seoro- tary of War, the organized strength of llie militia of tiie United States is 87,014. Of this number 0,G83 aro commissioned oflinera,. and 81,081 aro nou-commission- ad ofllcers, munioiann and privates. The uinnhier of men available for military duty, but unorganized, is 6,797,000. H e. smith a co„ , Dallas, Georgia, Dealers in Family Groceries, Plain nnd Fancy Confectioneries a specialty.. Every- thing fresh and nice; just from the factory ! We ilesiro to say lo our friends nnd the public in general that having opened out it stock of groceries nnd confectioneries, wo propose to sell them ns cheap ss the cheap est- “Small Profits and Quick Sales” shn l be our motto. Come and see us and e 1 convinced. It ts roporteil that, there are 80,000 negroes in Iudiau Territory denied the privilege of frauelriso iu.d schools, aud are incompetent as' witut - i: .n.d jurors in courts. Tk ay were, or aro, dosoond- ants from formor slaves of tho Indians. They nsk tho Government to romovo them from among the Indians and sottls them on Oklahoma lands. not possibly comply with your request. I (egret mV inability lo assist you, nnd am, 'yours truly, 8. D. Waddy. 1 ’ There aro aev^kl thousand honso- keepem in tho land who would feol grateful jto the sovoral legislatures if they ahonld carry into effect the Sugges tion of tho Lime &ilu Club, ot Dotroit, wltiok is ns follows : “ Resolved, Dat do present Legisolrnr of dis Stato am ordered to pass a law makin’ it » penal oflense fur a grocer not to dolivor one, pound of ohnoM^nd hleven cents’ wuf of halibut widitr tcu minits of do time ngreod upon wlion do said articles are ordered and paid for." A poMhitter to plan an industrial school at Springfield, Mass., have de cided to teach tho rudiments of trades, and not t« turn out Iluished mechanics The desire is to givo the boy a Unowl- eege that will euablo him to choose pursuit for which he recognizes his own adaptability, so that three or four years of liia lifo may not bo wasted after he leaves school in trying to detormilio how he will earn his living, atul finally drifting through ignorance and neces sity into work where manual labor, not brains, is needed. Wono Chin Foo, editor of tho Chi- time American, is elated over the suc cess of liia pnper, whioli is now about four weeks old. Wong esrae to this country in 1874 with Kov. Mr. Gibson wn.l was mobbed at Sun Francisco for trying to liborntc twenty-tinco Cliiuoso women who likd boon sent over in his ship by business agents. Bii.oo then ho lias lived in tho Kist as a lecturer and writer on Chinese matters. Ho thinks tho present Cliineso Embassy to this country is a" useless body, nnd has n poor opinion of the common Chinese American. and stock raisers to increase their ekpor- tatiou of domestio animals. They Lad a market for their prodiiots. This is the result iu 1882; Tho Htnte raises three times its mtloli coin aud wheat ns it did in 1870, aud six times ns many potatoes. In all other farm products tlicro lins been a corresponding inereaso. Since 1870 the amount of cotton rnisod tins doubled. A largely Increased production to the acre shows also that the methods of tillage have improved. The addod num ber of farm animals, horses, mules, swins, miloli cows and sheep is no less striking. The tendency seems to be to out up the great estates into small ones. In 1870 Ooorgfn had 70,000 farina. There are now 139,000. The valuo products has, in fact, nearly since 1870. It is mostly ow building ot (uilroa##. 7 ION: *1-50 Per Annum- NUMBER 14. Is Nickel! Binco tho consilient five cent coin which in common talk is called “a nickel," 1ms come into general circula tion, tho question above is asked, either mentally or orally, hundreds of times every day, and but few got lunhitolligcnt answer. In China nu,u Imn^ a white copper, called juick-tOng, has long boon known and lira-been extensively used both there mid in Europe far counterfeit ing diver coin. About thmran-ar 1709 a peculiar ore was discovered limhe copper miuos of Hnxony which hail t^knppe-.sr- aiico of being very rich, but in sw-lti.ig, it yielded no copper, mid tho miners called it kupfer-niekcl, or false copper. In 1754, Crons Unit announced tho dis covery of a new metal in kupfor-niokel, to which ho gave the name of nickel. It wns in combination with nraonio from which lie could relieve it only in part. The nlloy of nickel ami araenic which lie obtained wns while, brittle, very linnl and hail a melting point nearly as high ns cast-iron. It wns not until 1823 that pure nickel was obtained by analysis of Gjn-iiiiiii silver which laid for a number ^Nyenrs, been produced at Sul it in Saxony. Its composition was ascertained to be copper 10 parts, zinc 5, and nickel 4. If more nickel bo lined the nlloy is as white ns silver nnd susceptible of a very high polish, lint becomes too brittle aud hard to be hammered or rolled, nnd call he worked only by casting. 1’nrc nickel is n white metal with a tarnish readily in the air. Unlike silver, it is not uctod on by tho vapor of sulphur, and oven the stri jig mineral acids attract it hut Tile Sfery nth fjfnrom. Tim several mirrmgKrnsi tho royal order oP^fpWni proHonted to the iiuphor of " Kalanl of Oahu," by King Kiil%|^|fallilijj^#e- sorlbo the religi which imparts name, I send story for public!? ingof Kapiolnni Is “nrlsf l'rmcess Kaoiolnm, c daughter of the last Mi u among tho first oonvCrts'qMlit! ti| arios. When Njrst seetfvliy th clergy Kapiolmnjv.is publicly alt lu-rself with eocoanut wliilfc go.Im some licathVi creei* From dation tho beautiful RiimoVsno of the most ilmoiit yjirist : aBf oonvo^f, ;f\jw'lng with pin s wa] to St- dug which m'Wji bri sistllions of Igvpooj i.Auml idols hiwrueenj by order of ning LI High I’r'est, nnd yet the degrading tnbi unbroken. It was time for overt net to be thought of. n( drunken frenzy'Imiolilit tho tabu lijV-ntlngfulh tla|s^nimm. A WAIFS AN!) WHIMS. ) y iphHomo Sentinel snya that an allC* JrlRugKs when it hct.ra that beauty Is only skin .deep. Hijm 4o housekeepers—When your- fiilrOfiM cats I weenie too pnulifio you rnuat Jfpool their issues.” *’ Faith moves monntnlBti, but it takes a 'couple of express wagons to move a faah- Jfniable woman’s baggago. tJ'iie grand and awful difference be- t mioen -*i» treo ^tml n l»ore is—the tree lle , Jodves iii (He spring, nnd the Iwro—why, *afllo never leaves. » f Tiff. tw<^ urchins^glio played “escajv iOH ‘ 11 ingl-l boat) wore lashed together. A man in Baltimore has tho wooden shutter of the room occupied by Mary 1’hiUipae, who gavo Georgo Washington tlif^sTIum. Gupid’s blind. The bibie tolls us not to put onr trust in riches, and n grent many mon don’t at nit day. .Their total lack ot mu ifullffiSs- a .«on g bT **."**■ itlsct thtjJdiim. to Qm^Pcue, J hc oisiu oqiiaU/iiny^ , s . I (lotormluod tifbiavo brimtael for a yoitng Kltq^but lei^-ot ouiMnent impotffnee to altuet th Knpiolnui nmg ciimo and, with a ni<j not of hi-r‘sox‘^^ 1’ole ■ In her- ow\iiory 4foiighold of IUIaiien, tostin-j tindivjiPFowyf pf lief new-found God by (NfH^tha goddess and breaking her tiilnr ^i*pli t u prcsoiiOT of a multitude. News oMJginrttemlml sacrilege was proclaj#ie^Ml over rho Island, eroat ng a feodni^sf conitmna- tlon, not only for llio welfaro of the Princess, but lest the vury Istond should lie destroyed. Many camo to plond that she would abandon f|ie. rash net; and nono wore more torrilled for her safety than Nnilie, her wayibr-husbaml. l ollowod by olglity- of her tMMr- stricken friends, ^jfnohjnl-* waltfm hundred miles wildornoiw on lier*'Wgnmiig<\oi tpnyr.' Approaching tho ’Wcthiug era';:'. Kn- piolanl was mol by a shrlvolod old priestess of Polo, bitaring a llory male diction from Polo—hot from tho dreifd^ llnllman-nian, (house of everlasting tiro)—In which Polo threatened not only dontli to all Amors but destruction of the Island. The multltudi boirgod tbo l’rli rush act. • IV loarncd Kahuna AcoonDiNU to tho summary of the Oatholio directory for 1883, tho hierarchy of tins, Oatliolio Church in the United Acoohdino to tho Manchester Guar- States comprises 1 Cardinal, 18 Arch- dian, tho latost and largest donation to \ bishops, 59 Bishops, 6,540 priests, 5,241 'i'HFB “OHIGINAIi” STAR SPANGLED BANNER. The oldest, most popular, best and cheap- est Family paper, begins ite 21st, year vvitli 1863. It is a large 8 page, 40 co'man illus trated literary paper, size of the “Ledger. Cram fall ot splendid storiei, sketches, pn- ems. wit humor nnd general fun. P.aciest end most popular paper published. E-tab- lished 20 years, rend by 60,030 persons. It is solid, substantial, reliable. Only 50 cents n vear, 5 copies, $2; nr 75 cents a year with choice of set of six triple plated silver spoons, no brass, new style, retoil price $1.- 50; or Am. Dietionerv, 700 rages, illustrated, defines 30 000 words, numerous tables, bound in cloth, gilt, bettor tlinn usual $1.50 hooks, or wonderful “Multum-iu 1’arvo knife, a dozen tools in one handle, sells at one to three dollars, buck handle, name plate, etc., or superb bell harmonica, sweet est musical inslrument known, price 11.60. Either of above premiums aud Banne one year sent free, for 25 green stamps. Sub scribe now. 3atisfactioi guaranteed or money refunded. Trial trip 3 month for only 10 cents. Specimens free. Address SI Alt SPANGLED BANNER, Hinsdale, N. H. the fund for England’s Koyal College of Mnsio camo from New York City, aud was the gift of Mr. Andrew Carnegie. Its nmonnt wns $25,000. The college will, it is thought, bo opened in South Kensington iu May next with about fifty teliolnrs. A New York surgeon, the other day, successfully tried transfusion of blood for asphyxia. A man named Okeburg blow out tho gas in bis room at a hotel, was almost dead wlion discovered, nnd, as lie was not rovived by ordinary reme dies, sovc-ral ounces of blood, taken from n healthy negro, were pumped into n vein in liis arm aud lie soon regained consciousness. Insure Your by Fire. 11 m agent for the Cor.tlnantsl Insuruncu Com pany, which 1. confiutil to tho Insuring of ..ra property, dwelling-, cburcbei, anil school honscr, lor one, tbroe and five jour.. Every piudent m n fed.rale wnan ho knowr tbit it hc .hui d bo » r un lortunsto aa to get his properly destroyed by flre- he sill have tho greater portion of Ida losses m- placed. This is a reliable company, and u,iur-« for a low rate. Call on me, and J will expaodtloD*. T. A. FOOTE. 017 XT' s " nd 10 MOonE ’?, P l~\i Ih Ih Business University, Atlanta, Georgia, Forlliustrated Circular. A live ac*nal bra inees school. Established twenty years. Umbrellas. In the seventeenth century an umbrel la generally measured about four feet in height and nearly four yards in circum ference. It weighed at least four pounds, and cost a sum varying from £2 to £3, and even more. It was then made of leather, oiled silk, or glazed paper, and constituted an important orticlo of prop erty handed down as a family heirloom for penerutionH, It was in 1780 that the Paris manufacturers began to reduce its size, and to make it of lighter ami less-expensive materials. Its color had then by no means become restiicted to the hues now in fashion, and the good people of the revolutionary times as well os under the Directory, were fice to indulge, according to tlic-ir fancy, in such colors as yellow, rose, blue, and jven apple green. A oenekai, depression of business pro vails in England, one causa of which is believed to be the unfavorable agricul turnl outlook. Tho weather has been bad all through the winter for that inter- rat, aud now tho heavy ruins prevent the usual preparations for spring planting. The prospect in other European coun tries is a]ho gloomy, particularly Franco, Germany, Russia und Turkey. Immense fields and mountains of ice have already appeared off the banks of Newfoundland. The year, bound to bo historical for its floods, tires, storms and accidents, will also probably oJ memorable for tho immensity and dan gerousness of its iceburgs. These great masses of ice are said to bo productive, through their atmospheric influences, of the violeut tempests that Jiavo of late distressed Atlantic mariners. That it is not good for man to bo alone has been tho belief of 6,000 years, but it is only recently that the fatal evil of such solicitude has been worked out by the statisticians. “Bachelorhood,” Buys Or. Stork, “is more destructive to life than the most unwholesome trades or than residence in an unwholesome house or district where there has never been the moBt distant attempt ot sani tary improvement.” The late Robert Asa Packer, -when on a visit to Connecticut in his younger days, discovered that the excellent : bread ou his host’s table had been made churches, besides 1,180 chapels and 1,708 stations, which aro attended by priests, nnd where mass is occasionally celebrated. Tho Gutholio population is computed to bo 0,832,954. There aro 31 ccolesiaslioal sominaries for tho educa tion of 1,431 ecclesiastical students. Tho number of colleges, 81; acudeinios, 579; nnd parochial schools, 2,491. Tho num ber of pupils attending tho Catholic schools, exclusive of colleges and acade mies, is given at 428,642. There aro 275 asylums of various kinds and 185 hospi tals. A comparison of tigures will show that there is but a very slight overnver- age of ouo priest to ovory church, Tho number of educational institutions foot up over 3,000, or equnl to half tho num ber of ohurclies. ‘“is; poil nppallud, and to desist from hor 'quoting some now- rom (Scripture to tho —woman priest—Ka- soljered with difficulty has heretofore been used chiofiy for plating, for which purpose its hardness and power to resist atmospheric influ ences, admirably adapt it. Within tin- last year, tho French liavo succeeded in rolling the metal into plates from which spoons and other table furniture may Is pressed. Nickel bronzo, which consists of equal parts of copper and nickel, with a little tin, may tic cast, into very delicate forms, and is susooptiblc of a high polish. Mines of. nickel are worked at Uhntknm, Conn., and Laiicaster, 1’a., and it is said to be found at Mine Le Motto, Mo., and at several points in Colorado, mid Now Mexico, where but. little attention is paid to it. It is extensivijy mined in Hnxony mid in Sweden, but tho Into discovorv of n new oro (a silicate of nickel) iu Now Caledonia will probably supersede all tho other ones. Tlio inexhaustible supply of this ore, tho case with which it can be smelted nnd the richness of tho ore will probably suspend the use of the arsenical ores, and vot bring nickel into cunnnon uso. Switzerland, in tho your 1852, mndo a coin of German silver, which is identical in composition with our nickel coin. Tho United States niado nickel cents iu 1856, and eight veal's later, coined the live cent pieces. Belgium adopted nickel coinage m I860 and Germany in 1873. England has lately coined nickel pennies for Jamaica, lmt at homo she and Franco adhere to tho clumsy copper small cliungo. ^«4 n ™tij”iolai.l talked calmly ami icsolu.ely to i *■. i> *i«. .!.••* '■ ocean demonstrating tho wrrttli of rule. Gathering a handful of ha rod oliolo berries, over consecrated to l’olo, she ale them in derision of tho talm rite, instead of casting them Into the crater ns a poaco olloring to the goddess. Gathering up stones, she threw ilium Into l he fiery food Instead of the a -eiis- t jined berries. Standing tlioio in tho presence of tho most nwlul natural phe nomena on oarth, confronting tho most lerrlblo conception of a pagan deity. Kanlolani calmly aildrossod tbo multi tude as thoy stood appalled at tlioir own fears: Behold! my pooplo, the gods of Hawaii aro vain gods. Groat is Jolio- vnli, my Go I. He kindles these tires. I car not 1’clo; slio is poworloss. Should perish, then four her power. Should iod prosorve mo, then break your tabu, knowing tlicro is but ono God. Jeho vah.” In commemoration of thlsbravo net of Kapioluni, Ko Nul (tho great), tlio King’s present wile, was named, and tho royal Order of Kapiolnni was proclaimed, for tho '‘recompense of dis tinguished merit to tho St-to, for hu manity, goniiH, Boionco nnd art, ser- icos rendered to Uursolvosor Our Suc cessors.'’— llniti’ll i A touxo servaut girl by tlio name of Aunio Lennon, who is omployed iu the family of Sheriff Eastou, of Nowport, R. I., performed an act of bravo devotion a few nights ago, of which it is proposed to make somo public recognition. She and a flve-ycar-old daughter of Sheriff Easton were alone iu tho house, tho rest of the family not having returned from an Odd Fellows’ Festival. Hoou after midnight she awoke to find her attic room tilled with smoke. She waited only to put on a skirt, hurried down stairs, and, boing unable to open the door, climbed through* window upon a hack porch, jumped to the ground, eight feet below, and ran with bare feet ovei tho ice and snow to rouHO tho neighbors. Hastening homo agaiD, she appealed tc several persons, who by that lime hod gathered before the house, to save the little girl sleeping upstairs, and, as no ouo responded, she entered tho houso as she lmd left it, felt her way through the blinding and stifling smoko to the cliild’H room, and escaped with her to the yard uninjured, though the heat was intense enough to scorch their clothing. Natural Advantages on a Small Farm, Among tho first of natural advantage on a small farm is a good husband and a good wife. One other thing I will BIl y_ w hatovor you undertake to do, do it better than you did before. Never mind whothor you exceed your neigh bors or not—beat yourselves. What we admire in a plant or animal wo admire more in a man—that is growth. If you are making beef, or pork, or mutton, or ijiilk or butter or cheese, or working oxen or trotting horses, make them hot* tor next lime, especially If you niako things for tho judgment day of tlio mar ket. So of vegetable or fruit produets l^jt withered and inferior goods come by railroad. Don’t let the market know of your going bank in quallity any. Il will despise and never forgive you if you do. Again, don’t try to do too much of a kind, nor too many kinds of things. To excel in leaping, you can’t jump in all directions—you must throw your heft toward one point.—J. It. Aleoll. The Farm and Fireside, of Spring- field, Ohio, has this to say about theso : “Take two wooden boxes, ono three inches lnrgcr in every way than the other. Line the inside box with zinc. Fill the spaco surrounding it with dry sawdust, or, better, with fine charcoal. Let tho cover to the inside box be covered with a piece of woolen blunket. Let a small piece of pipe pass from the bottom of the inner box down through the bottom of tho lower box, so us to , allow the water from tlio melted ice to markets by railways. The result was • flow off _ T j,; a ^ j UB t as good us many that farmers began to putia larger crops, I „( t j, 0 patent ice chests at less than one- plautcrs to double their acreage in option, j fourth the cost,” The State of Georgia makes a very happy showing in tho matter of develop ment of a country by railroads. A few years after the war the Southern manu facturing Stato began to move in the di- roction of connecting herself with outer | fraVtlio melted ice to Knew Ills iHisiiifs*. A fow mouths ago p. conductor on onn of tho Chicago street-care suddenly ex perienced religion anil joined a small Hock in tho neighborhood of liis resi- lenco. Nono more devout than lie w as to be found ill tho country around, and every spare moment from his business was put into something energetic toward strengthening up tlio littlo church into which lie laid projected himself. Notic ing his interest, liis pastor, to encourage him, shoved him along all lie could, and in a ifliort time tlio new convert was a shining light among liis fellow-worship pers, and tlio Christian grace with which tic passed tlio eontribution-pluto evoked uicklcs from what before hiul been bar ren pockets.” Ono Sunday morning a hoodlum was noisy, and t lio conductor quietly ordered iiim out. He went, lmt lust Sunday evening he appeared with a mob of dis solute companions bent on a difficulty. Tlio conductor kept an eyo on the leader until tho disturbance became un bearable. But on brakes a moment, parson, said he, “till I look after this fare.” Approaching tlio thug, lie went for him, and wiped up several yards of aisle with him, and then stood him on liis ’ ‘ Five cents for tlio kingdom of God!” lie demanded. Tho hoodlum said ho did not liavo to 1>a “ Five cents for this ride on tlio Gospel chariot,” and ho smashed the thug in the countenance. “But, brother,” remonstrated the pas tor, “you cannot compel liim to con tribute. ” “ Never you mind that re-isc-n. You preach and I’ll collect. This man can t deud-hoad on this orthordox through lino without putting up. Beside I’m re sponsible to the company for his fare. I’ve pinched him he 0 got to show ter who has five mis sued the oounty tusidcnce lina lieeu iisod as V “oourt-room” for tho past two years. A H/nwiRNriRM) (Capo May) sign la cruun salon cakes prottzoTls oml oonddy am oignra oistors and lodg ing and homos wnttored constantly on hand.” It lias been said that jiovorty treads* upon tho lienlr of great and unexpected riches; but then a nowspaper man never 1ms corns ou liis heels, und lie cau - stand it. l’lNii'mETOR—“ If you boys don't clear out I'll call that officer and have you taken in:” Boy—“ That’s where you'd bo taken in; that policeman'a my \ <hu), ho is.” \ \ ^U’iie church ia till pew rent place on .rth.—StcubenuUl<yjlcraldw And one k tell how good tlio-men JfcebV the Iber of hvmuS'found thve.arCBHin- natPfhuette'r, ‘ Homkmoiiy mints to know why we do not go to Enrhpe. Well, the tact is if tlio rest of Europe resembles tho part that has come over here, we’ve seen enough of it.—Jiurlini/ton Jiawkcj/c. Hk talked lovo to her, and do to to her, And trtod toequeext hor hand, While alto eat un ar.d "yetied” and “Wtod,” And yuwnod bohlnd tier fan— (IL'caihm* a te had ant up the nleht before. With a follow the had an awtul fond new for.) —SitiibentUk HnraUt. The following advertisement appeared iu an .Irish newspaper: **Tlii» is ^niotify ratridf i/I 1 loft ltiu JodirtmnL if ho docs not return won nnrt r my&r tho mosuo bmohmU hm m*?, vcrtist’cl. ” " ■‘Well, if I over huw tho like,” re- marked Mr. Wliiskyskiu. ns lie mopped tlio perspiration from liis brow. “I don’t seo where all this water oomoa from that oozes through my pores. I haven’t tasted the stuff for ten years.’’ What a pity that a big hoart is so often compelled to keep company with a nnmll income?—N. Y. Ncwa. Rather, wlmt a pity that ft big income in so often compelled to koop company with a Btnall heart. “ Do not know commas when you see them?” said the villugo school teacher to tho book-kcepor of a banking-house, whoso odueutiou had boon neglected. “Wlmt are those ( ,) on your gro cer's bill?” “Boers,” said lie. I’ouck court scono—Judgo to an un prepossessing trnmp : “What aro you* menus of living?” “I nm an inventor. “Ah, indeed. And what liavo you in vented?” “Nothing os yet; but I am on the lookout.” Mbs. Domesticity calls at the kitchen furnishing store. - “ liavo you Cook’s stowerB?”slie asks. Tho dealer is dumb founded till lio is shown an advertise ment. of “Cook’s Tours,” when he di rected lior to the nearest railroad office. Ten residents of Wavorly, who wouldn’t do a day’s work for anything, recently hauled over twenty cords of wood to gut a red squirrel that wasn't there, Then they cracked a command ment.—Owcyn Jlecord. Why is it that whisky straight will make a man walk crooked 1—Boston Globe. Why is it? Why, it is because vou drink it. Did you nevor think of that? You loavo the whisky in the jug, and it will not make you walk orooked. Don’t blame tho rooster for bragging over ovory egg that ia laid in the family. Only human nature, nothing more. You remoinbor that when that bouncing boy arrived at your house it wasnt the mother who wont about doing the orow- ing. An Indian camo to an agent in the northern part of Iota to procure some whisky foi a younger brother, who be said had been bitten by a rattlesnake. “Four quarts!’’ repeated the agent, with surprise; “much aa that?” “Yea, replied tho Indian, “ four qaarts; an aka very big. ” — It is cruel to keep chocking boys. Little Frankie !•'. was astride the sota- enshion, and was making his steed ap parently take a 2:10 pace, with kicks and slashes of his whip, and yelling at the top of his lungs. His poor mother bore it awhile, and then said, sternly: “ Frankie! stop making a noise! Drive your horse if you want to. but be still.” It woe veiy quiet for a while, and I rankie’e mother looked around to see her boy sitting astride the sofa- rushiou, but the tears rolling down hi* cheeks. “Wliv. Frankie, what is tho matter?” Frankie sobbed out: “I can’t make him go, mamma, unless I holler to him. It’s all inside of me, and if it don’t come out I shall burst!”—Chicago News.