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THE PAULDING NEW EEA. JA8. BRECEEMHDGE * CO., Publishers. "ONWARD AND UPWARD’ SUBSCRIPTION: $1.50 Per Annum. VOLUME I; DALLAS, PAULDING COUNTY, GA., THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 6, 18S3. NUMBER 40. GENERAL NEWS. They nre uuikirg flour out of peanuts in Virginia* The drouth is killing grcnt numbers of cattle in some parts of Texas. Largo bods of phosphate havo been discovered in Dulpin and Pender comi ties, North Carolina. Thoro are now 48,049 postrofllces in the United States. The number of post- offices lias increnBod forty per cent, since 1876. Tliero are eiglity-four cigar factories in Key West and all hands constantly employed. Tho porcelain works in Augusta coun ty, Va., have commenced operations, nml goods equal to any over made arc turned out in large quantities. Tho drouth lins about spoiled the cot ton crop of South Carolina. The up land crop is estimated nt three-fourths, mid the Sea Island nt still less. A Northern company is negotiating for tho purchnso of tho Mugruder mine in Georgia, which is vory rich in copper, lend and silver. A' little girl in North Carolina was stung by a hornet just under the eye and died within twenty-hours. Thoro are many parts of South Florida whore tho crops of guavas nre greater Mian the pooplo can use. Being a perish-' able fruit, it can not be shipped. One firm in Gaten county, N. C., owns thirty miles of narrow-gauge railway, connoting tlvo of its saw-mills. It is the largest lumber business in the Stato. Since the death of Tom Thumb, Gen. Abo Sawyer, of Key West, Florida, elaims to be the smnllcst dwarf in the world, being thirty-two inches high nineteen years of age and weighing only thirty-seven pounds. A report from Castlebnrg, Ala., says: “The timber and tho turpentine busi ness have both been dull the greater part of this season. The saw-mills havo t.complete vacation. Turpentine is fifty per cent, lower than last year.” Tho Georgia match factory building 8 nt Gaincsvillo are about finished and C. Van Fleck, tho principal owner, is in the Eastern cities and Canada shipping the machinery. North Carolina lias two of the largest vinoyasds east of tho Rocky mountains. The grapes raised are coming into great demand even outsido of tho State. Tho Louisiana Homestend and Aid Association havo taken in hand a project to purchase 400 or (500 acres of land near Now Orleans for establishing a homo for • somo 800 old and infirm negroes in the State of Louisiana, who nro reported ns being in great want. Tho citizens of Romo, Ga,, nre indig nant at tho ndva' ee in tho premium on cotton insurance in that city and claim that with Rome’s unsurpassed water works and well equipped and dauntless fire department tho rate onght not to be as high as two per cent. Honey is plentiful in Smyrna, Fla. Olaf Oleson has extracted over forty barrels of choice honey, and wns com pelled to stop for wnnt of barrels, and is now gathering it in neat <me-i>ound hoc tions. R. S. Sheldon comes next, while his neighbor, Dr. Goodwin, has been busy building up his apiary for the com ing season. Reports from tho cotton in tho Nash ville district, including Middle Tennes see, n porti >n of Woit Tennessee and North Alabama, show a larger aggregate yield than last year’s crop. Dispatches to tho New Orleans Timcs- Democrnt from all sections of thu cotton belt show considerable falling oil' in crop prospects compared with lust year, ex cept in Tennessee and somo portions of Texas, caused by drouth, caterpillars and boll worms. Tho decrease is estimated in some places at thirty-three and one- third por cent. J Many reports from Texas nlso show a falling oil' in the outlook. The corn crop is also reported considera bly damaged by drouth. A part of Hell Hole Swamp, contain ing 17,00 acres, has been bought by Mr. Job. Reirdry, who resides at High Point, N. 0., a3 the representative of a compa ny of English capitalists. The Com missioners of the South Carolina Sinkini Fund are to receive for the tract 810,000, payable in three annuel installments. It will take about 8100,000 to drain the wa ter from this Bwanip, and its sale is re garded as a good one for the State. A stampede of Texas cattle created a panic Monday in the streets of New Or leans. The police force and the entire town turned out to head them oil', Af ter two mules, two horses and several men wero badly gored the cattle were snbdued. It is estimated that there wore not over twenty steers in the stam pede, yet they scattered over the city bo quickly and doubled up on their track so often that one would havo thought that there were hundreds of tho wild cron, tures nt large. Washington C. Kerr, Stato Geologist if North Carolina, Bays tho whole State is notably adapted to tho culture of grape vud tho manufacture of wino. Tho proof of this is, that, that a cous'dcrnlflb num- bor of tho pest American grapes originat ed within its territory, such ns the fli tawba, Lincoln, Isabella, Scuppernong, etc. ; second, the testimony of tho best observers and growers of the Ohio Val ley, and of tho whole country, and third and chiefly, the success of tho few intelli gent exiieriuients that have been made, And this opinion is confirmed by tho ousidcrations of climate, which nro de monstrably known to control this indus try. In tho remarks on climate it wns shown flint tho larger portion of this State corresponds, in this important re spect, to Middlo and Northern Italy, and to Middle and Southern France. A General and Ills Hen. Gonorol Cler, promoted for his valor in the affair of the Snpun redoubt, but dill commanding his zouaves, distin guished himself m the bnttle of Traktir. til their crushing charge he advanced ion far, nnd would have been killed or taken prisoner if thoro had been any .'ally by tho Russians. His men made i desperate plungo into tho enemy's ranks and brought him back in triumph. One of their buglers was thon ordered >y General Clcr to sound tho retreat. Vt tho moment when ho put his buglu to his mouth a round shot broke his right arm. With his loft hand he quick- 'y picked up his instrument, which had fallen, and sounded tho retreat. “Well done, my bravo boy!" said General Cler. “Ah, General,” replied the bugler, ‘is it not lucky that it was not tho vio- in which I had to play?” At the attack of tho Snpnn redoubt, vhon ho could not keep back bis zouaves, ie had called out to them: “My childron, if you will not be good, C shall never again load you into notion.” He praised them after the battle of i'raktir for charging to bring him out of he crowd of enemies. “My Goncrnl,’’ answered one of them, ‘if you will not bo good we shall never ■gain follow you into action.” He laughed heartily at this retort to iis threat ou a previous occasion. Those owns existing between French com- nauding officers and their men Bcemed trnnge to British ofilcors, but their re- -pective duties wero not tho worse ful filled on that account.— Temple Ear. Barb-Wire for Fences. For many years tho manufacture of barb-wire for fences has been controlled by one firm. Favored by its wealth and enterprise, it gained possession of more than one hundred different patents cover ing tho making of this article nnd has reaped a handsome profit in royalties by selling tho privilege of using these patents. Somo idea of tho importance of this manufacture mny be gained from the fact that upward of twclvo hundred miles of wiro nro made daily. In some of tho Western States, where timber is scarce, wiro is almost wholly used, nnd the laws even compel a man to surround his land with such a fence, prescribing the height and the number of strands. Unluckily for tho continuance of this monopoly, its conditions havo been abused, and this lins raised n strong feeling against it nmong farmers who use the wire and manufacturers who nre forced to pay the roynlty. Theso latter have combined their forces nnd nro de manding a reduction of at least onc-half in the roynlty, and are likely to obtain it. There is, however, no reason to be lieve that this will result in any benefit to the farmer, to whom the fencing has been sold at higher prices than were de manded of the foreign consumer. A recent decision of the United States Circuit Court has struck a blow at this monopoly, and under it any one has the right to manufacture tho wiro nnd also the machinery used in making it. If mills spring up prices must come down, and then tho farmer, too, will gain his point. Life in Utah, A woman, writing from Salt Lake city, tho Mormon capital, says: “I have a friend, the wife of a man of wealth, who carries cruel scars upon her wrists ns a momento of the time when she and her husband, for the crime of refusing to pay their tithing, were pound with thongs that cut deep into the flesh, while their house was plundered by the emissaries of the priesthood. I have another friend who is crippled, half blind and prematurely old, in conse quence of tho punishment meted out to her because she would not obey the Gospel; that is to say, because when her husband took a second wife she not only refused to go to the endowment houso and give away tho bride, but actually barred the doors of her home agairmt tho newly wedded pair and compelled them to seek lodgings elsewhere.” There is only one wish m most peo ple’s hearts—viz., tint they nny be thoroughly spoiled by prosperity. WHEN THE SEA GIVES VI HER DEAD. They tell ns with a qniot ?oio« Of perfect faith ami hope ami trust, That on tho (lay when Christ shall oome To bid His chosen ones rejoioe, To breatho new life in death’s dark dn«t, To givo new speech where death struck dumb, From out the sad sea's restless bed Shall rifio ouoo more tho hidden (load. They tell us this with upraised eyes, That gaze beyond tho present’s woe, And whisper of a heaven and God, Draw pictures of star laden skies, Where angels wander to and fro. When those now ’noath the churchyard aod Will rise from out their dreary lied, Tho day tho sea gives up her dead. Yet will they riso onco more tho past, Or givo mo back tlio faith that died, Or breatho new broath in love’s dead breast? What for tho love that did not last? What for the da vs, when side by side Wo wnmlcrod on, nor thought of res^ Will these arise and leave their bed Tlic day tho sea gives up her dead ? Oli, novermoro! doad Joy is doad, The sunshino dead ne'er smiles again. ' I is evening gathers on the shore, Our kins was kissed, our words wero said. Naught lasts for e'er savo sin and pain, Love dead is dead for overmoro. Silent he lieaJn his oold bed. Though all lift'# icaa givo up tlioir deadt THE MTTLE0FARDMOHK. BEING A GHATHIC ACCOUNT OF A FIERCE DOMESTIC WAIL The sunshine never kissed a lovelier day nor blessed a fairer scene. All tho laud, and tho sky nnd the clouds wore clad in the benuty of Juno. Tho lanes wero fringed with emerald ; tho round- oyed daisies peeped out from the billowy fields of grass, and daintier wild flowors nf tho woods ncHtlcd like gems in the velvet moss. Down in tlio meadows the buttercups glcnmcd like buttons of gold. Over tho low hills tho soft winds whis pered to tho loaves about other sum mers, nnd down through the shadowy woods tho little brook laughed and sung and babbled like a child playing by it self. Hero nnd there a cottage uoBtled nmong the trees. Thu distant calls of children came rippling ncross the fields. The long road wound away, yellow and "Realty 1” The oliok of a musket so oloso it seems In the room whoro I am. Gods I I lis ten for tho Bound of tho boyish voice sgnin. It seems to mo, in my excited oondition, there is a childish treble to it. I wonder if— "Fire I” How tho cheers, pealing up in waves df sound, drowned the crash I was listen ing for 1 Again the tioylsh voice cnlls, "Fire 1* ami again the shrill cheers fol low. They hush as the bugle-notes come pealing down tho line again. I hear tho wheels ns a battery ia hurrying forward. I boar a drum bent. I near the tramp of hurrying feet. Somo one is calling for “tho hag.” Once I heard 1 VAfV close tho tide of bnttle Bwopt to my prison—n saber spring from its seab oard with an angry sweep. And all this time 1 oould only see the golden sun Rhino—only the fluttering leaves nnd tho playing shndows lengthening into the waning day; nnd floating in at my win dow ontne the mellow whistle of tho robin. Tho cheers aro fnintor now, ns tho shndows grow longer. Tho robin’s note has eonsed. Mellow, clear, nnd beauti fully imperious as over, tho bugle calls again. A pall of silenoe falls upon the ohunor and din of tho battle. I try the door of my prison. It yields to my touch. Down a stairway, with a noise less trend, 1 hasten. I step through n curtained door. I stand on tho field where the waves of contention hnvo thundered and dashed. The level rays of tho setting bum drift over tho helpless flgnres stretched nhont mo like a bless lug upon tho dead. At my feet the overturned cannon lies. There nro its shattered whoels. Lying ncross tho brazen muzzle, “his back to the field and his foot to the foe,” is stretcliod an arlillory sergeant, still grasping the broken saber in his nerve less hand. Hero is a group of infantry soldiers; they will never stand upon thofr foct again. Hero is n troopor; headless he lies under the liorso that, with two legs torn away, has fallen upon him. THE DEAD. A little dmmmor-hoy—how camo suoli a child hero where the fierce maelstrom nf war circled and eddied in Are and oar- nago and fury ?—lies by his drum. 1 bend above lilm, and in faco and form thoro ia nothing human left. Rod nro the stains about it, and the broken littlo hand liungH stiff and rigid on tho edge of tho shattered drum. It is tcrriblo, Here, ghastly and horrible, lies a bond MORNING ON THE BOWERY. T1IK VAHIUH HCIiNRN IT I'ltKNKNTB. inlet, until it turned out of sight beyond o v , , the littlo churolt with its snowy walloLh.-ke Line cap with itq scarlet and white and slender spire. How quio'. and peaceful nil the world lay before tho window of my prison thut day in Juno 1 Far nwav tho note of a meadow-lark came, and" wns heard no more. Now nnd then tho wliistlo of a robin; nt times tho twitter of a blue bird. It was suoli an afternoon os you would wish to endure forever. White winged pcnco smiled in the sunshine, nnd sang with the zephyrs and tho brook, nnd the far-away cnlls nnd scarcely heard laughter of tho children playing somewhere unseen. Its music is tlio crown of the lays’ beauty nnd tranquility. THE BUGLE CALL. Clear, mellow, distant, four or five notes of a bnglo ring out over the low hills, nnd come echoing down tho forest aisles. IIow my heart leaped at the sound of the bnglo call 1 How my blood went surging through my veins like a tide of lava ! Out nf my prison window I look with straining eyes. In the flut tering lenves I can sco no glitter of bay onets. I listen, but down tho road or across tho inendow I can hear not the rumble of a linttory hurrying into posi tion. How silont is a'l this 1 And yet not silent enough. I want tho wind to Imsli, and tho leaves to keep still, and tlio brook to stiflo its babble and laugh ter. I nm listening for a foot-fall, tho crackling of a twi", the muffled tramp of a column of men stealing through the woods under lenfy cover. I nm listening for the neigh of a horse, a clatter of rythmic hoof-bunts, a ringing enrbine- sliot. Peering out of the window of my lonely cell, I nm listening—ever since tlmt first bugle-call came winding over the hill I have been listening—forsterner music limn the robin’s note and the wood brook’s murmur. “March I” There it is at last? I can see nothing from this window. Tho voice comes like a far-away echo of tho bugle—a boy ish voice, softened into music by the day and tlio distance. I picture to myself I ho fair haired Lieutenant who com mauds the skirmishers. All tlioso days made men of the boys; the school-boy fought beside the veteran, and tlio Ad jutant nf 20 mesHcd with tho Colonel ol 40. Will tho line never come in my sight? “Halt!” Silence agnin, and once more tlio liu gle calls down tlio unseen line. Now 1 can henr the tramp of feet amid all the terrible Imsli of preparation. All about me the tide of battle will sweep, save, mly where I can see it; and I—penned In this prison like a caged rat, with ring ing buglo nnd clanking saber calling me ant, shouting my name in words that hum and ring and ring again—and I am here. THE MARCHING HOSTS. “March!” Away off the tap of a drum, tho flam, fiain, (lam, cadencing the step of the inarching column. Nearer it comes, and further away it sweeps, faints into quiet atInst. Tramp, tramp, tramp. Muffled, yet listinct, and stepping nearer with every foot-fall. “There they come?” shouts iome one. I hold my breath; I press my hand to my heart nnd wait for the tint shot from the skirmishers. pompon still resting jauntily over tho brow; but nowhere can I sco the sol dier’s bedy. Hero is a saber bent and twisted in tho fury of hand-to-hand com liat. I walk among the headless trunks, nrma nnd lcga without bodies, crippled horses lie prone on their sides, or stnnd wearily, nnd with dumb patience, upon threo legs. I trend cnrefully over and around tlio broken, shattered bodies of the fallen men. Hero is the ling, tut- tered nnd unfurled, just ns it dropped from tho hands of the sergennt; here an epaulet, glittering in crimson and gold; hero is the gilded belt of a General; here, marred, bent nnd dented, lica the bugle whose silvor voice cnllcd into pluy this wreck nnd carnage. And here, away off ou the edge of tho field, nwny where just the sprny of this angry sea of strife could have reached, my foot almost falls ou a child lying prostrate, hnlf turned on her face. The dainty feet poop out of a cloud nf silk and lace; tlio tangled hair of gold, a skein of sunshine, half liidcs tlio brow nnd check. There is no sign of life in the beautiful face. Killed by tlio terror and fear born of the bnttle? I bend to lift the little form, and tlienrm upon which I thought the child wns lying is gone; a horriblo gash reaches from tho tcmplo to tho bnso of tho brnin, and the left cyo is crushed in its socket. The child—tho dear, sweet little girl: somebody's darling, fair sacrifice to tho hideous Moloch of war, how could— “Robbie! ” I hear the voice of her lit tlo serene highness. "RobbieI come, now, and pick up your tops, dear. You’ve left your dolly and all your soldiers scattered about over the floor, so that papa can scarcely walk across tlio room. And somebody has stepped on poor lit tle Bessie's bend. I'm afraid sbe'U have to go to tho surgical institute.” A pnttcr of flying feet, and the blue- eyed commander of tlio troops, aged 6, comes charging into the room, and, re solving himself into an ambulance corps, collects the dead and wounded with both hands, scoops them into a big Ikjx, ex amines tho frncture in tho wounded dolly’s head for saw-dust, and appears surprised to find tho skull lined with a hole. “Papal” ho cries “did you hear ’o battle zis nppernoon ?" “Yes, Major, I heard it.” "We lighted awful,” tho Major says, “an’ I full down on my drum and brokod my cannon, but grnmpn will got me anuzzeronc.”—Robert J. Burdette. For a Day.—Mr. Justice Monlo sen tenced a rural prisoner in England, in the following words: “Prisoner at the bar, yonr counsel thinks you innocent, the counsel for tho prosecution thinks you innocent, I think you innocent. But a jury of your own countrymen, in the exercise of such common sense as they possess, which does not seem to lie much, have fonud you ‘guilty,’ nnd it remains that I should pass on yon the sentence of the law. That is, that you lie kept imprisoned one day, and as that day was yesterday, you may go about your business.” Bondholders.—Mi's. A. T. Stewart is reputed to tho second lurgeBt United States bondholder. She has $30,000,000 invested. (From tlio Now York Bnn.l After a restless n’glit, followed by an early visit to a dentist, that ncaptido of lionevolenoe which succeeds the sacrifice of an ocliiug double-tooth flooded tho soul of a reporter as be wntohed tlio ttrst awakening of tho Bowery to tlio dawn of another dny. Its myriad eyes blinked slowly open, ono by one, as tlio shop boys took down tlio shutters, nnd its many greedy mouths yawned drowsily nml then shut with a vicious snap ns whito-faced clerks o|ionod and closed tho doors. Tho manifold signs of "Hot Whisky” attested tho misleading spirit of tho ago; a delicious trio of circular ploonrdn of “Hot Hwoot Older" jumped madly np and down in a show window, pulsing thirstily in unison with the fover- isli throbbing* nf a eider mill; and shame less photographers began to bang out their ghastly collections of morbid ana tomical trophies. A street scavenger, ragged nnd nn- olonn, shuffled past like a lielatod night mare, aud a Inst ovil vision of thu night, a young girl, flaunted by, goon (lie last nll-niglit restaurant turned off tlio gus, swept out tho shop, nml dusted off the elderly pios in tho window; tho Inst light faded out of tho flaring lanterns of tho cheap lodging dens, nnd tho “Single buds, 10 cents; dnuhlo, 25 rente,” began to ilisgorgo tlioir victims; Two "sand- wioli mon,” late partners in a “double,” 11uarrolled on tho curbstone over the odd cent in the dark transaction, lint limit language, though clearly actionable, provoked no actual breach of thu Bow ery |ienco. The rush and jar of an elevated train, the denfening rattle of a fire engine at full speed, mid tho yells of milkmen ply ing tlioir nofiirious trade, and raging ill tlio sight of Groton wasted on pavemont uid windows, swept like a restless tidal wavo of noise through tho Htreot. Two uitodiliivinn tramps, tho ono a scarred ind battered cliromo of the Hou. John Kelly nnd tlio other noxpurgntod edition of General Grant, reeled by, arm in arm. Tho terrible teniptatlmiH in thu window of a dime museum blushed anew In the morning sunlight nnd looked reproach fully at each other’s mops of hair; a gang of Italian laborers, with picks nnd shovels swaying dan gurously,HtingglcdiioiS'idissly by on their way to work, nml, ns if with common malice, around every Comer 'lashed shrill-voiced newsboys like Mother Gary’s chickens, darting in and out of tho disordered ranks nml scream- ing in tho dazed faces of tho wretched immigrants. Seeing a crowd forming, tho reporter hastened to where n lot nf vicious idlers Imd gathered around a telegraph pole, against which lennod a girl scarce six teen years old, intoxicated mid helpless from opium or alcohol. As the rough voices mid conrso jeers penetrated her dulled oars, her maudlin smilu changed to a look of slinme nml terror, mid she enverei her face with her limiils. An (Tort to escape showed her unable to walk without aid, nml she clutched the learest railway pillar for support. A wild cry escaped her lips. At that in- itaut the delight of thu spectators was rudely interrupted by n grny-haired, powerfully-framed workman, who flung hem roughly asido mid forced his way through the ring. As tlio girl turned from her persecutors she recognized tlio new comer. Coom, mo lass, coom wi’ faytlier,” and the rough voico was pitiful, the hard hands gentle, us he raised her and led her away. There was no word ef reproach wasted on her, and nono of re proof to the scattered crowd as tlio father's arm closed round her, guiding tho wandering purposeless steps more tenderly than if he lind been a woman mid she a little child. As tho reporter watched tho strange pair, and thought of tho goal of suicide toward which the feet of tho girl were' surely tending, ho suddenly felt tlio near presence of a helping hand. As lie turned quickly the callow youth behind him seemed to sink into a deep, peace ful trance; two ferret eyes, very close together, focussed stmingly on the tip J a nose, which, like Earl Douglas’s Irnwbridgo, “just trembled on tho rise.” Tlio more fact that one hand of this thoughtful young man had just been discovered astray in another man s pocket utterly failed to disturb his meditations, and as the reporter caught tlio stray hand firmly, and called the owner’s at tention to the circumstance, tho act seemed vaguely a violation of tho sacred rite of hospitality. Rudely aroused from the reverio, tho stranger looked at his recovered hand with surprised recognition, us if it were a newly-born and wholly unjustifiable addition to bis family circle, but ex hibited no vulgar embarrassment. Tak ing in at a glance tho stale details of tlio reporter’s costume, he observed irrele vantly: “Yer trousers must 'avo ben boff the wery pattern as me hold vuns hat ome. Hi vos a vouderin’ ’ow they voe a valkiu ■■out vithont mc.”^ v “But,” persisted the reporter, “your hand was in my coat pocket, you remem her.” "Veil, vot if it vos. I halways carries mo 'ands bin mo coat pockets—so. Hi knowed tho trousers, an' Hi never stepped to hexamino vether the coat vos hat saing-lined claw hor ha Prince Hal Oort. Veil, so long, see yer subsek vently,” aud as the scamp vanishci HIT AM) WISDOM. When a man enn mako right ont of wrong ho will bo aide to breed colts fnan liorso chestnuts. It is tho Mobile Register which son- ihly thinks that if thorn was no news paper notice nf duels, duelling would come to mi end. The “assisted” emigrant la ono Hint is sent to this country ns a paupor, with passage paid. Tlio "assisted" tramp is ono that is urged out of your yard with a boot. Them aro only two classes of unmar ried women in society, “scrawny old maids” and young “ohita of girls." Yon lonru this by lienring enoh of these de scribe the othor. A New Jersey young man, who tnokled Professor Sullivan in n friendly bout, now wears tho belt. Ho wears it just over tho loft oyo aud feeds it on raw beef.—Exchange. It takes a good deal of ennrago to write out tlio announcement: “Gone down into tho country to sponge off my fnther-lli-lnw. Bo away nil summer.”— Chicago /liter. Ocean. The Keeper of tlio Lime-Kiln museum reports that ho has rcooived from Mis souri tho skull of a farmer’s hired man who had never yelled at a yoko of oxen or wanted to kill a mule. “What ia true bravery?" asks a Now York paper. It is going to tho door yourself wlion von don’t know whothor tlio caller is a dear friend, a book agent or a man- with n bill.—Philadelphia News, i A “shower of stoneB" is reported from Gecil county, Mil. If n young men was singing at midnight mid accompanying himself on an aooordoon, a shower of stones was wlmt might hnvo been ex pected. It scorns that the Texas Siftings man went to Texas to (lie of consumption nnd lived to become a humorist. Yon can form your own estimate of whether tlio climate is to be praised or not.— Huston Post. A New England physician says that if every family would keep a box of mustard in the houso ouo-lmlf of tho doctors would starve. Wo suggest that every family keep two boxes in the house. — The Judge. “Are migels overslcony ?" is a question which an Engl ini i psyobologie.nl sooioty is trying to solvo. Wo hardly know whether our angel is ever sleepy or not. We’ve never stayed Into endttgh to find out.—Lowell citizen. A OELEliltATED circus manager .s on the hunt fora new ourioBity for his show. Ho is seeking to find a young married man whoso wife can cook ns well ns his mother did. Twenty-six States havo been explored thus far without success. Uur.KN apples, grace apples, tlio grass grows so groan Vlint tlin hoys in tlio orchard can hardly Is) soon; Oli, mother, oil, mother, your hoy is in beil- ll I lie doctors don’t hurry, ha'll surely bo dead. An losthotio writer predicts that if wo aero to revisit this country ono hundred years heneo wo should see rnen wearing knoo-brooohes and slnshod donblels. ’Flint settles it. Wo shall not come back. Tlio number of bow-legged men is increasing too rapidly. It is said that the number of women Who reach ono hundred years and up ward is nearly double that of long-lived men. Women don’t invent patent flre- cseapes and exhibit their workings. And they don't stay out so Into o’ night, itlier, inlinling tho miasma of tlio nlglit. Hu had boon waltzing with his host's ugly, elderly daughter, and was in u lorner repairing damages. Hore ho was ’spied by bis would-be pnpa-in-lnw. ■She's (lie (lower of my family, sir," said tlio latter. “So it seems,” answered the young man. “Pity slio oomes oft s'), ain’t it?” ho continued, as ho essayed mbtlior vigorous rub at tho white spots oil his coat-sleeve. “Do you want to sec somo fun?” snid r small boy to lii» father. "Don't care if I do,” ho replied. “Well, let's <o nnd listen to Deacon Dumpy took town bis carpets.” “I don’t think there’ll 'bo anything funny ill that,’ eornfully snorted the parent. "Don’t, li ? You seem to forget that tlio deacon stutters.” “Ah, ’ said tlio old man Then ttioy went over to linrken. A l'ersonnl Tax. In New York city the late Mosee \ Taylor paid u larger personal tax than any other person in the city. He paid on an assessed personal valuation of $1,300,0(10, which is the sum assessed to his widow. W. II.Vanderbilt swore off all bis personal tax, but afterward came to tlie tax office and said that to satisfy "public clamor" ho would voluntarily pay a personal lax on a valuation of $l'030,000. Jny Gould pays on only 8100,000. The James Lenox estate paya on $1,000,000 personal, the Astors on $3,000,000, Mrs. E. D. Morgan on $1,000,000, Mrs. *A. T. Stewart on $680,000 nnd Miss Catherine L. Wolfe oh $400,000. There is a decrease each year in tiie number of persons who pay taxes. Last year only 11,666 persons paid on personal estate and the number will probably he less this year. In 1880 the number was 14,764. The Czar allowed a gratuity, of $100 to eaah reporter at Moscow for carriage hire. This looks liberal; bat in a day or two ho will fine a journalist $1,000 around the comer, the reporter realized. I ( 0 r calling him a tyrant, and get aUhia that the Bowery was wide awake at Iasi, * money back.