Newspaper Page Text
NEW EM.
JA8. BBECKEJfRIDGE, PabUafcer.
ONWARD AND UPWARD 7
SDB8CBIFIIOE t $1.M Per Anna.
VOLUME II.
DALLAS. PAULDING COUNTY. gSv., THURSDAY. MARCH 20. 1884.
— -A- ■. '±- - - -■
NUMBER 15.
CURRENT COMMENTS.
Tax foot and mouth which has be
come epidemic amoug ihe . efctUd of the west,
is a heavy affliction to tlie large itock^ interest
« of that country. . ,'' v \
•&«’ Mihufacturers* lle&>r\\ ‘publishes a
* statement-showing that doling JautAry and
February the capital Divested • ift. Southern
manufacturing and mining tntaijpriaes in
creased. $29,200,000, .Kentucky aho*** Jh© .lar
gest aggregate, $G,8G1,000; Alabama second,
with $5,210,000. < j" ‘
i ——* ♦ 1 *'jw .
Tim New York Tribune c|animors for mii-
fonn legislation r gainst the dime novel evil.
It is a lamentable fact that dump literature is
moroui'a curse than a blessing. A dime's
worth ot printed filth' in the hands of a few
nctivo boys will poison the minds hf- all the
juveniles in aliuge circle. If parent! or police
cannot or will not turn back this tijlal wave of
cheap immorality, our statesmein should, tarn
their attention to the evil. •
fiutnoH, the inventor, indulges in.the follow
ing predictions: As to changes vmlch will be
effected by oloctrieity within fifty years in the
city of Now York, I would say that I believe
electricity will propel the cars of the street and
elevated railroads, light tho city within and
without its buildings, furnish power for all
uurposes, work telephones, burglar alarms, do-
liver tho opera, convey parcels, detect and sig
nal tires, operate fire engines and possibly dis-
• place nuiinal locomotion for vehicles.
A coriiKsi’ONWWT of tlio New York Times
slum’s tho difference in the prices of clothing
of similar quality and workmanship in New
York and London. A broadcloth dress suit
costing $50 in New York costs but 822 in Lon
don ; a heavy business suit 830 in New York to
813 in London; a spring serge overcoat 820 in
New York to $8.50 in London; a winter beaver
overcoat $30 in New York to $14.50 in London;
silk hat $5 in New York, $3 in London, i ho
garments costing $218 in New York cost but
807.75 in London. Difference in iavor of tho
latter city $120.25,
Many peoplo are undor tho improssion that
railroad commissions are very recent innova
tions. This is a. mistake. Railroad commis
sions wore established in some of tho states
more than twenty-five years ago, but it is only
within the past ten or fifteen years that they
havo attracted much attention. At preseut tho
following states have commissions: Georgia,
Ohio, Kentucky, Tennessee, Alabama, Illinois,
California, Connecticut, Iowa, Wisconsin,
Virginia, Vermont, South Carolina, New York
Rhode Island, New Hampshire, Missouri,
Mioliigan, Minnesota, MassacttuseUs and
Maine.
certain reckleasnea in moat men. At least,
this la the viyr of a New York physician.
t Tons o£piaH matter in the court? of a year
fall to reactitheir destination. Many packages
havs no addrsaa or one that is illegible. Many
things are stopped in the ■ mails because they
are nou mailable, for instance, such things *d
hair oil, ointments and other liquids, explo
sives grease, dead anim Ja, snakes, vegetables,
candy, substances with bad odor, edge tooli,
unprotected glass, wedding cake, etc. The
owners of packages of value are promptly noti
fied that they had better take their property
away. Every day wedding cake and eapdy are
confiscated. A box of candy addressed to a
child was found, a short time ago, to oontain
$45 in gold, whioh was restored to the owner.
Among odd things recently found have been a
large cMtus wWhing one and a half pounds*
i living hornodhoad, colored matter for adul-
^terfttfog beer, ettUtattwyitf fffffl teeth, cigars,
fend wind. The postal authorities are untiring
in their efforts to restore articles of value
found in the proper owners.
SUMMARY i)r CONGRESS.
WOl
-r*
ftaetern and Middle State**
’X'HK boiler ill J. T. Tier#' dyeing oslabisli-
nient at Lawrence. Mil s., ox-lodel, killing
.lotin Tree*. Jr., the engineer, and fateily is-
\fPWa rTerrltorle., criticised the Edmunds bill anil
►5 i-l -Ef Os | the Caesldjr bill in relation to polygamy as
;unconstitutional. He admitted the right of
p the government to punish polygamy as a
crime if it desired to do so. Nevertheless,
he mid, the Mormuns believed tlmt it was
right.
Adopt sixty-seven per cent, of our last
luring William Moreland a id Miohael Pro- jfear’s com orop has been consumed, leaving
nln. two employee Hogrrat was I lie force ghirty-three per cent, still on band. The
- ■ ** * - ’’ 1 ’— Wheat remaining on hand is about 1 III,000,00)
luuhsls, or tweuty-olglit pur cent, of the crop.
South and Wenty
Ohio rrohitflHunlsts assembled in State
convention at (Tohinibusaiid appointed delh-
The explosive compound called nitro-glycer-
ino was discovered by Sobrero, a pupil in the
laboratory of Felouzc, a French chemist, in
1846. So dangerous was the explosive that for
a long time people dreaded to use it for any
purpoto. About 1803 milling engineers found
that nitro-glycorino could ho safely used as a
blasting agent, when proper caution was taken.*
Of all the preparations of this explosive dyna
mite is considered the best. Its explosion is
10 rapid and violent that tho air above It liaB
no time to move away, hut acts like a solid ;
hence it will act downward when placed upon
the snrfaco of a rook. Its uscb are probably
not half understood as yet.
Tiie well-known educator, Dr. A. D Mazo,
in his recent addrcBB before tho Louisiana Ed
ucational society, strongly ndvocated indus
trial education for women. Iio believed that
tho same brain powor which enabled southern
women to shine iu society, to render cfllcient
rid in ohurcli and school affairs, and to man-
igo large plantations, would enable them to
mccessfully push their way to the front rank of
mch commercial and industrial occupations ss
were suited to them. The tendency of young
men to abandon their homo places and seek
remote fluid, leaves the young women of the
louth to bear the brunt of existence. Under
ueh adverse circumstances they need a practi
cal, self-supporting, industrial education.
least..
The vot« by which the Mexican treaty had
been defeate*-waa reconsider* 1....A bill
was passed appropriating *80J,l)00 to,E. II.
Emery for tM Invention non construction of
a nmohlnofor tasting iron' and steel ...Ths
Pendleton bill providin ' a lyste-n of oourte
for the exerolao of extra territorial juris
diction of ths United States was pawed....
A favorable report V;w ma le u ■ the bill
fixing the rate of postage to be paid upon
mail matter of - the socon I ola-s, when sent
by others than publishers or nows agents.
It Axes the fate on transient newspapers at
ona cent for toil#'ounces; the present rate
ling one oent f >r tw i ou in as.
The Senate pained a bill appropriating
*250,000 for a fire-proof hall of records in
Washington....The bill making a majority
of the judges of the supreme court a quorum,
instead of six judges, a< heretofore, wm
pawed.... Mr. Plumb presented a majority
report from tho committee on public land!
In furor of tho bill forfeiting the Texts
Pacific land grant....Mr. Ilonr introduced
a bill to pay Edwin Forbes, of Brooklyn,
*75,000 for his historical studies, skntolies,
etc., of bottles, marches, cam!*, incidents
and oliaract rs of the army of the Potomao,
mn 1« on the field in lull*.
Bills were reported favorably authorizing
the postmaster-general to prohibit the de
livery of mail to lottery co lipanies, and es-
tab ishing the times and place) for holding
the terms of the United States district court,
for the northern district of New York....
Bijls were ipt%|j|tfj|d to ortM# the pilot ser-
atee.Who Donate oon-
jrmmy for a bureau of
_ feboilk >«t oii.... In executive
session the Senate considered the Mexican
treaty. _____
A message wni reoeiv!uT"frnin the President
without comment, transmitting to the House
tho Lasker resolutions returned by Prince
Bismarck, with accompanying papers.. .Bills
wore introduce-1 to define tin duties of the
Mississippi river commission; to incorporate
the Yellowstone Park Railroad company; to
retire General G. H. Wrieht, and to enlarge
the grounds arotind Washington’s head
quarters at Morristown. N. J.
Mr. Ellis reported adversely from the com
mittoeon appropriation bills for the relief of
sufferers by tho flood in the lower Mississippi
valley an l ine tornado in North Carolina,
and favorably a resolution requesting the
secretary of war to furuish the House from
time to time with information of the pro
gress of the floods.iu the valley- of the Mis
sissippi, and report if at any time in his
S lgment their exists such suffering as to
itify measures or relief on the part of
ngress. The resolution was adopted....
In accordance with a report from the eloo-
tions committee, T. Luna wa< unseated as a
Delegate to Congress from New Mexico, an d
F. A. Manzanares was sworn infill* bis steady »
A debate toolc place on tho bill to reti re
General Alfred Pleasonton, with the rank of
colonel. The bill was recommitted witho ut
instructions by a vote of 122 to 115 At
its evening session the Home passed bills
5 ranting a pension to the widow ot General
udson Kilpatrick, and increasing the pen
sion of the widow of Surgeon-General Barnes
to $50 a month.
of the explosion that the three buildings
were shattered into Bfriinters. Pieces of the
boiler and debris wore thrown 400 feet,
crashing through roofs of dwellings, but for
tunately injured no o te.
Jay Gould, the noted New York financier,
railed the other day from New York in his
amous yacht Atalanta for the .West Indies;
The boiler of tho Boston mill, at Bryant’s
Pond; Me., exploded, killing four men, while
another was badly injured. Threo of the
killed were boiler-makers from Boston, who
had just repaired the boiler, which burst
while they were gathering up their tools.
A youno woman dressed in men’s clothes
stopped a young man early in the morning
on one of the principal streets of Philadelphia,
and at the point of a leveled pistol compelled
him to “stand and deliver *’ his moofy lnor
thodox highwayman fashion, / }. -
Gukat datngge hag been don*. alkali the
Hudson to valuable trees and shrubbery by
heavy rains followed by freeing weather.
The branches of many trees gave way under
the thick coating of ice.
A great rowing match for a prfee of
$2,600 has been arranged to take place al;
• New York . on Decoration day between
Charles F..Courtney, the most promiuent of
American oarsmen, and Wallace Roms the
Canadian victor of many aqualip. contest*'
late* to the imtieoffl •bouvention at Pitts-
1 >urg on May 21. *
At the Lou siana Republican State con
vention, held in New Orleans, a delegation
io the national convention and a Ntate ticket,
beaded by John A. Stevenson for governor,
S ere chosen. The national delegation is un-
erstood to be for Arthur for first choice.
During a quarrel at San Leandro. Cal.,
William Pcollani dr^w a revolver and shot
Foreign.
Mr. Parnell’s bill amending the Irish
land act has beeu rejected by the British
house of commons—325 to 72.
Two members of the firm of Messrs. Parker,
London solicitors, buve absconded, having
misappropriated clieuts’ title deeds. Their
liabilities are between $5,00),0(H) and $10,000,-
000. They had Borrowed $2,500,000 for va
rious specnlations.
Another man has committed suicide at
Monte Carlo on account ot losses at the
gaming table there, making tho nineteenth
self-murder at that notorious resort sines
January.
The death of Cardinal Cainillo dl Pietro,
born in Rome in 1800, is announced.
A reward of £10 for euch head of a
French soldier, and £32 for tho liea l of an
officer, has been offered by tho commander
of the Black Flags iu Tonquin.
An affray occurred at Pressa, 'Italy, be
tween laborers on the railroad and villager%
Carbineers interfered to suppress the dis
turbance, and fired, killing eight and wound
ing fourteen of the villagers.
The German reichstag has baen opened
emu the usual formalities. The speech fr<
the throne was read by the hofnie secrets
or state and representatlvH ortlie cltanceK
The s|)eech asserts that the chief task of tho
reichstag lies in tho domain of Rocial and
political affairs, and Fays that the emperor*!
wish, which has been solemnly and repeatedly
expressed, for tho Improvement of tho condi
tion of workmen, has mot with full apprecia
tion on the part of the German people.
In the German reichstag. after the presi
dent ha 1 been re-elected, that functionary
announced the death of Herr J Asker and of
other membefii who ha l die l during the re
cess. The deputies remained standing as a
mark of respect while this announcement
was being made. Ilerr Rlokert, an indepen
dent, expressed thanks in the najne of Herr
Lasker’s friends for the numerous tokens of
sympathy which had been received. He was
particularly grateful to the American Con
gress for the action of the House.
Tlei r Hammerstein, in behalf of theconser-
vaMvos, protested against the action of Herr
Rickert and against the course pursued by
the American Congress. During the excit
ing discussion that earned remarks de
nunciatory of Bismarck’s action in returning
the resolutions to the American Congress
wore ma le. Herr Rickert characterized
Bismarck's action as “unjustifiable inter
ference,” whereupon an uproar arose.
,b chiefs who arrived recently at
Gath thus describes scenes at a famous
dairy farm in Pennsylvania: “I was interested
in two .liings in this stable. In the first place,
the cream separator, which is run by a steam
engine, revolves with enormous rapidity, and
the cream flows out of one spigot and the skim
med milk out of another. Then I observed
the apparatus for cleaning cows, which are
carefully washed and brushed once or twice a
day by means of brushes operated by tho en
gine. The cow, calf or bull is brought forward
ind tied to the post, and from above these
brushes are brought to her body and carefully
raise every liair. Tbu cattle like it, but their
tails have to bo tied up in a b^Jpr not loiq^
ago one of the brushes tore out a tail. The
temperature in the barn is kept at 50 degrees
the year round, regulated by the thermometer,
and the barn is lighted with the Brush light on
every floor, and at midnight is as bright as
day.”
The curious statement is made that within
the past ten years the free use of narcotics has
greatly increased not only generally, but
among physicians. It is also said that some
doctors use opium who make a specialty of
curing the opium habit in others. Possibly
the spread of the opium habit is due to some
• • extent to the knowledge that it can be cured.
Doubtless the stories about doctors have been
greatly exaggerated, but it must be admitted
.that, like other people, some of them feel a de
sire for stimulants. It will not do for them to
.^inake a practice of drinking whisky, and they
therefore resort to narcotics. Between two
r-Vvils an opium-eating doctor is preferable to *
whisky-drinking doctor. A doctor s undi
familiarity with narcotics will not make him
liable to give la^e doses of those drugs to his
patiepts, but the use of liquors engenders s
Aleck Dietr.chsen^'a saloon-keeper, dead.
When Bcollard’a father wes told of his son’s
act. he exclaimed: “My God, can this bo I”,
ind fell dead.
. The California legislature bos been sum-
Snonod in oxtra session for the purpose of
taxing and governing the railroads through
out the State. *
Two men wore killed and a third was fatal
)y injured by the explosion of a saw-mil
boiler at Onondaga, Mich.
John Griffin, a Maryland rattle dealer,
and one of the host known and wealthiest
men in tho Htate, wan found murdered and
robbed near Frederick At first it was
thought natural causes had led to his death.
Two men were arrested on suspicion.
Duuino a fire which destroyed the main
business block of thp little town of Memnhis.
Mo., three persons were killed by falling
walls, and three others fatally and four more
badly injured.
Frank Rande, the notorious dosperndo
and convict who made an attempt upon tlio
life of a deputy warden iu the Htate peni
tentiary at Joliet, III,, and who was placed
in a solitary cell, hanged himself. Rande.
whose real name was Charles C. Scott, killod
no less than five men in 1877,and is supposed
to have murdered thirteen persons in Indi
ana, Illinois and Missouri. '
Long-continued rains have caused much
damage to property and great delay in travel
ib Bouthorn California.
A special posse of twelve nicked men,
armed to tho teeth and commanded by State
Constable Riclibourg. proceeded secretly
from Columbia, 8. t\, to the residence of
Colonel Cosh near Cheraw. Colonel Cash
was captured, but his son escaped into the
adjacent swamp. A ikjsso of fifty men from
Cheraw was sent after young Cash.
A snow slide half a mile wido at Alta,
Col., swept away tho works of the New
Emma mine, killing «us Lybecker, foreman;
J). D. .Wasson, ma<hinist, and brother;
S^muril Prwthwrf, Charles 0<»l*rr**m and
wife; Edward Crockett. Lottie Pleon. O. J.
Johnson, N. R Delano, Willard Stephenson
and John Richardson. This is tlio worst
slide ever known in the Little Cottonwood
district. The snow was piled forty feet
high. The damaie to the mine is $15, OX).
Bishop R. H. Clarkson, born in Gettys
burg, Penn., in 1820, died the other dsy in
Omaha, Neb. He was consecrated Episcopal
bishop of Nebraska and Dakota in 18(15.
Jefferson Davis, before a joint conven
tion of tho Mississippi legislature, delivered
a eulogy on Sergeant 8. l’rontiss, the famous
Mississippi orator.
The appearance of the foot-and-mouth
disease among cattle in Maine and Kansas
has created alarm among the cattle men of
the West.
General Pflocit, who hai just died at
Valadostft, Ga., nt the age or eighty-seven,
won his title in the Indian wars. He was
the father of twenty-four children.
NEWSY GLEANINGS.
Arkansas is developing valuable coal
beds.
San Antonio is the horse markes of the
South.
Texas rates as the sixth Btate in railroad
mileage.
There are nine circuses in the country
this season.
The assessed property valuation of Texas
is $520,000,000.
Mississippi is making rapid strides in the
manufacture of wooL
Texas plants 200,000 more acres in corn
than she aoo^ in cotton.
The proposed reform Dill in England will
enfranchise 2,000,000 men.
Hundreds of farm houses in Arkansas
have never yet been blessed witK cooking
stoves.
IT is said that the Salvation army is mak
ing many converts among the negroes of the
Scmtb.
A factory with facilities for making 100,-
000 wooden dishes! per c^y is tojfl erected in
Chattanooga, Tenn. ,
The Russian army consist-! of : Generals,
staff, and su;jerior officers, 26,074, and meu,
830,145; in all, 804,210.
There are over sixty-five Mormon elders
engaged in proselyting in all sections of the
South, and the force will be doubled In May.
The people of the United States will re
cover fully 100,000,000 acres of land by the
recent action of Congress in canceling rail
road grants.
Fence-cutting has been made a felony by
the Texas legis'ature, and the mclosureor
the property of small land owners in large
j natures is prohibited.
An American church is soon to be built
In Dresden, the necessary funds having been
raised at a series of private theatricals re-
oently given under the auspices of the Ameri
can colony ia that city.
JSwo Arab chiefs who arrived recently at
Suakini repoFl that during the race it battle
with General Graham’s troep*Osman Digna's
forces lost 0,00) killod and wounded.
Nearly a hundred persons suspected l
complicity in dynamite^ plots are being
watched by the police in France.
Notwithstanding tho furious attacks
made upon him by the German government
press, Mr. Sargent the American minister to
Germany, has decided not to resign.
The bodies of Jerome Collins, the meteorol
ogist of tho Jeannette, and his mother, were
buried at Cot?, Ireland. There was a large
procession on land and water, the former
consisting of the town corporation, various
societies, and merchant* and tradesmen.
Emperor William, of Germany, ami th
C7ar of Russia, will meet in June at Darm
stadt.
A Berlin dispatch says that a majority cf
the houses belonging to Jews iu Neustettin
have been destroyed by a mob.
One member of the Canadian house of
parliament at Ottawa, while intoxicated,
savagely assaulted another member with a
stick in the legislative chamber, but was dis
armed before lie could do any harm.
Survivors of tne Sinkat butchery report
that El Malidi’s rebels tore the body ol few-
fik Bey, the Egyptian commander, into
pie n es and devoured his liver in accordance
with their superstition.
The treaty of peace between Chili and
Peru has been ratified by, the Chilian as
sembly.
Wallace Rosa, tho Canadian oarsman,
defeated t George Bubepr, leading English
rower, in'a four-mile race on the Thames.
Bubear received a start of ton seconds, and
as easily defeated.
It is stated that at a meeting of Irish “ In
vincibles” in Paris lots were drawn to see
who should kill the informer McDermott.
Washington-.
Further nominations by the President:
Colonel John Newt n of the engineer corps,
The Truth.—A truthful remark by
an exchange: “The young man who
tampers with alcohol is inviting a blight
to settle upon his name and character,
and a curs© more bitter than death to
undue f a ke possession of his fond hopes and
bright prospects.” Boys, this is a nice
thing to paste in your hat where you can
be reminded of it when tempted.
PROMINENT PEOPLE.
Grant.—General Grant has gone to Old
Point Comfort, Va., lor tho benefit of his
health.
Astor.—The Aster family own in New
York city 1,200 houses valued at about $40,-
’ *000,000.
Spurgeon.—Mr. Bpurgoon, the faniou
English Baptist preacher, has fallen heir to
& large fortune.
Smith.—Ex-United States Senator Truman
(Smith, of Connecticut, is now iu his ninety-
fifth year, and continues to bo active in mind,
though weak iu body.
Pinkerton.—Allan Pinkerton, the head of
tho detective agency, is a Scotchman and tlio
son of a policeman. Ho employs nearly 200
detectives, men and women.
Wolf.—Simon Wolf, ex-consul general to
Egypt, drew up the Lasker resolutions of con
dolence intro luced in Congress by Represen
tativo Ochiltree, and returned by Bismarck.
Davib.—Jefferson Davis has doc lined ail
invitation to address the Mississippi legis
lature on the file of S. 8. Prentiss. Ho says
that his health is too feeble for him t) under-
£a«e any public work.
Stanton.—Mrs. Elizabeth Cady Stanton
who recently returned from a two-years’ so-
rjourn in Europe, has deeidqd to make Johns
town her future residence. There, in the old
Cady homestead, where she was born sixty-
height years ago, she w.U pass the-remainder
of her days.
Palmer.—Tnoinas Falmer, tho “lumber
king' Senator from Michigan, is a broad-
shouldered, healthy-looking man of fifty"
three, with a full race, a blaclc mustache
aud reitless black oy«.-H. Ho us id fo be an
amateur artis . Whim he wa< in college Ins
eyesight failed aud hp went to Spain for his
health, with rfwmrfw student. They wofft
vn foot all over Spain, ta’cl ig pictures of lfr-
to’*e8ting ruins, pretty uirN, etc., and thus
ma le up a collection of piotun
Senator stiff ~~' 1 u "
MUSICAL AND DRAMATIC
Tn first comedy win performed et A th
ins, 5(13 a Cl.
Mr. Lawkknck Ba.hr*tt will play at the
Lyceum, London, t U the cud of Mev.
Hirry Irving mye thnt Joe Jeff.reoo la
the only foreign not or who baa bean univer
sally acoepteam Knglund.
Johann Strauss haw agreed to acoept the
offer ot the imperial opjni of Vienna au d
write a genuine comic opera.
Miss Adir, an American prlma donna,
will puke her debut in Paris, at the Opera
Oouilque, in Gounod's‘‘Mirveille."
•' <MAnY AntinnsoN. at the I.yoeum theatre,
London, 1s playing to an average of £365 a
night; that la close on 111,000 a week.
Emma Abbott is said to hare made more
money in California than all the operatic
combinations, big and little, in the oountry
have made this season.
Thursday, April 17, has been fixed upon
as "actors’daywhen 8|Hioial matiuaes will
lie given in the Now York tbiatrei for the
benefit of tho actors’ fun I.
• Manager Haiirm, ot the London Drury
Lane, is a b id nnd skilful advertiser. His
latest is to invito the wive, and children of
all bislio|a ami clergy to come to sea bis
pantomime without price.
A youno American laiy. Miss Maud
Powell, has achievtwl a success in London as a
violinist. Bhs is a pupil of the Paris Con
servatoire and has so far appeared mostly in
society oonoerts.
Colonel Mapleson told a Chicago re
porter the following story as illustrating the
demands of oneralie singers: "Mat & tra
il nech at one time had a numlier of big uw>-
ple witli him. He had paid everybody. Jffst
baton a matin e, one afternoon, no was
strioken with paralysis. One of his ni’igers
heard of it, and Immediately refused to sing.
‘ But he is very hail au I is paralysed,’ they
told her. ‘What side of him Is i aralyzedf
she asked. ‘The leftside.’lliev raid. ’Then
he can sign a mortgage with Ills right hand,’
she replied, and lie nctua ly had to do it bo-
fore she would sing."
A youno American inly, Miss Maud
Powell, has achieved a success in London as a
violinist. Hlio is a pupil of tho Paris Con
servatoire and tins so fur appeared mostly In
eorioty concort-..
Colonel Mapleron told a Chicago re
porter tho following story a. illustrating the
demands of operatic singers: “Max Btra-
knscli nt one time had a numlier of big peo
ple with him. Ho had paid everybody. Just
before a matin -e, one afternoon, no was
stricken with immlvsls. One of his singers
henrd of it, and immediately refused to sing.
‘ But he Is very bad and is |>aralyxn<l,’ they
told her. ’What side of him is paralysed!’
she a-ked. ‘The left side,’ they raid. Then
ho can sign a mortgage with his right hand,’
she replied, and he uolua ly ha l to do It be
fore she would Bing.”
Tho Great Lakes.
Lnlto Erio ia only Hixty or sevontj feet
doop ; but Lnko Ontario, whioh is 602
feet doop, iB 2!!0 feet below the tido-level
of tho ocean, or ns low as moat pnrta of
the Gulf of St. Lawrence ; and the bot-
touiH of Lakes Huron, Mioliigan and Su
perior, although tlio surface • ia muoh
higher, nro all, from the vast depths, on
a level with tho bottom of Ontario. Now,
as tlio discharge through Detroit river,
niter allowing fot tho probable portion
carried off by evaporation, does not np-
ponr by any means equal to the quantity
of water whioh tho three upper lnkos re
ceive, it lias been conjectured that a
subterranean river may run from Lake
Ontnrio. This conjecture is not im-
probnble, nnd acoounto for the singular
fact that salmon nnd herring aro caught
in all tho lakes communicating with the
St. Lnwrenco, liut no others. As tho
Falls of Niagara miiRt havo nlwnys ex
isted .it would puiusle the naturalist to
Bay how tlioso fish got into tho minor
lake without some subterranean rivor:
moreover, uny periodical obstruction of
tho river would furnish a not i«.,.r..i,»i.l<.
solution of the mysterioua flux and re
flux of tho lakes.
THE JOKER'S BUDGET.
A KW Norms ACCI HUNT ALLY OVBH.
■ IRAKI! HV TIIK 1-mi.AIIKI.rHLA
•■KVRN1MU CALI." HUMORIST.
NOT SURPRISffn.
Mrs. D.—"I see by the paper that the
girl Oscar Wilde is going to marry has
no father.”
Mr. D.—"I thought not; and no big
brother, either, more’s the pity.”
TH* OAT OUT AGAIN.
Young Alplionzo -"Do yon know how
to courtesy ?"
Little Nell—"Ye«, I knows,”
Yonng Alphonzo—"Well, now stand
np. I will bow to you and yon oonrteay
tome. I want to seo yon do it."
Little Nell—"But the dancing-master
said we must only courtesy to gentle
men.”
Yonng Alphonzo—“Well ?”
Little Nell—"Pa and ma both told
sister you was no gentleman.”
NO DANOM.
Fire Mnrshal—"I verv mnoh fear, air,
that additional means of egress will nave
to ho ordered for your olmroh.”
Pastor—"And why ao, my dear air ?”
Firo Marshal—"In oase of fire it would
bo utterly impossible to get the congre
gation out sHvc."
Pastor—“Oh I Yon are mistaken-
very much mistaken, I could empty this
ohnroh in three minutes.”
Fire Marshal — "In threo minutes I
How?”
Pastor—"By taking np a oolleotion."
whioh the
and prizes highly.
Expectancy of Life,
Insurance companies are aware of the
And lie Did It
A Washington letter writer tells this
story:—“When llegistrar Bruoe was
senator from Mississippi, a yonng lady
whose relatives liefore the war were im
mediate neighbors of the family with
whom Bruco livod, and who, through
the misfortuno of war, lost everything,
applied for a position in the treasury de
partment. Her application was vaguely
mode, and met with equal snooess. She
was in desperate financial straits. As a
dernier reeort she applied to Senator
Bruoe. What do you suppose he said to
her? What he said was this: ‘Miss
, I have an appointment left at my
disposal in the department. I well
remember your, family down in Missis
sippi in old times. You shall have that
position at onoe. I know of oonrse,
Miss , that yon, on aoconnt of onr
difference in color, and ou aooount of
things generally, would be disobliged
if I were to offer to go in pereon with
yon, but my brougham is outside and I
•Will see you to it; tell my driver to drivo
slowly, nnd I will take a street-oar and
he at the department before you and
liave the secretary appoint you.’ And
he did it."
Crttcislng It
The New York <7to6e-(negro organ)
A BAD riEOH OF WORK.
"And yon were nnable to arrest the
man ?’’ said the Judge to the Sheriff.
"Yes, your Honor, he got away from
mo.”
"Did you follow him and shoot, 'Stop
thief I’ and oall upon outsiders to help
you?”
"Yes, your Honor, I did everything
possible, I yelled ‘Stop thief I’ and
threatened to shoot him if he didn't
give himself np, but he paid no atten
tion to me. ”
"H’m,” growled the Judge. "Couldn’t
even arrest his attention."
A SENSATION.
Jane—"Just look nt this. Here is an
item in the paper saying that a wealthy
Milwaukee man has created a sensation
by announcing that hois going to marry
his servant girl.”
Bridget—"I should think it wnd make
a sensation. The idee of a respectable
gurrul givin’ up her liberty in that way.”
Jane—"Yes, and beooming a mere
mistress, to take all the blame and get
no pay.”
Bridget—"She ought to be oontint to
stay as she is and draw big wages and
boss the whole hotise.”
A OKRAT DISCOVERY.
George — “Oh I I have made the
bleesedeBt discovery I”
Harry — “Invented a new eleotrlo
motor?”
George—"No; nothing of that kind.
You know that charming Misa Blank
that I am so madly in love with?"
Harry—"Yes; and yonr affection ia
VAniiw.vii.Lwl, J nn/Ur.l—4"
George — "Well, I discovered last
night that her father and her mother
both Bnore.”
Harry—"Why, what is there particu
larly blessed about that ?”
George- -“What oonld be more so?
There is never any doubt about when
they are asleep.”
A FASHIONABLE LOCALITY.
"You have pleDty of honsos to rent, I
B6 "Oh yes ; I am agent for a great
many properties. What would you like?
“A three-story brown stone front in
an unexceptionable looality. I do not
care so muoh about the house itself, but
I am very particular about getting into
a fashionable and rather exclusive neigh
borhood." ... .
•‘I have the very thing for you. A
rather old but very fine house in St.
Windsor place."
“How abont the neighborhood ?
“It is tho most highly fashionable and
thoroughly exclusive locality in the
city.” „
“Are you sure of that ? .
"Deal certain. The famines living
there have the malaria all summer and
tho gout all winter.”
! credulous weakness of those whose B(l „ 8 0 f the marriage of Fred. Doug
— l.nil,. iltoi'oLivn v ' ,rnl ! Li »vi a nn/vT1 III F Tlflllff,
lives they assure, and haVe, therefore,
to be"hief'of engineers with rank of briea I compiled numerous tables of expec-
dieroreneral; Leonard E. Wales, of Delaware, | tanoy of life for their own guidauco,
to be United States district judge of the di
trictof Delaware.
Mr. WtfITE, of Kentucky, was the only
member of the Hon-e who vote j ara'.nst the
passage of the naval appropriation but
The Senate committee on Territories has
agreed to give the name Lincoln to the now
Territory which It is proposed to ma te out
ot the northern portion of Dakota.
which are carefully referred to before a
policy is granted. These tables liave
been the result of careful calculation,
and seldom prove misleading. Of course,
sudden and premature deathB, as well as
lives unusually extended, occasionally
occur; but the average expectancy of
life of an ordinary man or woman is —
Since the introduction of two-cent letter ] f 0 u o ws : A person 1 year old may ex
postage there has been an unexpected re luc- i t to liv0 a9 yearB longer ; of 10 years,
ticn in the number of postal cards issued ana J’ . f 2 0 years, 41; of 30 years, 34;
an increase in the Turner of stamp, sold | of ^J yc ^
| *> yeaJs, U;of 70 yeirs, 9; of 80
Suffrage association, in session at ^ ashing | year, 4.—Scientific American.
ton, made addresses before the House judiCi- j ♦
ary committee adv. eating externaon o r£ HE auuuu .i production in the United
John T Caine, Congre’sim'.al delegate States tor several years past has been
from Utah, before the House commitleo or 7.000,000,000 pins.
lass: ‘The criticisms upon Mr. Doug.
lass’B, course by our own people are just
what we expect in cases of that kina,
nnd yet such criticisms should not come
from us. We are always prating about
the unreasonable prejudices of other
people, and yet show, when occasion
presents itself, prejudices just as narrow
and unreasonable. We should not be
surprised at things of this nature. They
are not only natural, but are likely to
be of more frequent occurrence in the
future. They cannot be avoided.
Where people live as close together ns
all the people of this country do,
human likes and dislikes will assert
themselves, ”
Any man may do a casual act of good
nature, but a continuation of them shows
it is a part of their temperament.
A PARTNER NEEDED.
“Yes,” said the barber, “buaineae ia
improving very f&afc, and the only trouble
I have is the want of room. You Bee I
can’t extend this place without renting
the store next door, and that would take
more money than I can spare. Now, in
1850, when I first came here, old man
Johnson—you remember old man John
son, his wife was a Smithers, and his
daughter married, let me see, what was
his name ? It was the same name ss the
President who got up a doctrine about
not letting foreign countries get a further
foothold on this continent, and a very
good doctrine it was, too, for you see if
Franoe and Spain—”
"By the way,” interrupted the man
who was being ahaved, “you said you
wanted more money to extend your
business, didn’t you ?”
* <Yes and ”
“Weil, I will tell you how to get it
and popularize your shop at the eeme
time.”
"How?”
"Get a partner—a silent partner.
