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The tap Sentinel
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street, two doors from Broad St.
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... BY ...
T. P. LITTLEFIELD.
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TOWN DIRECTORY.
TOWN OFFICERS.
Mayor—H. Whaley.
Councilmen—Dr. R. F. Lester, it. A. Eler
bee, M. W. Surency, A. B. Purdorn,G. M. T.
Ware.
Clerk and Treasurer—G. M. T. Ware.
Marshal—Wm. M. Austin.
COUNTY OFFCKRS.
Ordinnrv—Richard B. Hopps.
Sheriff—John N. Goodbread.
Clerk Superior Court—Benj. O. Middleton
Tux Receiver—J. C. Hatcher.
Tax Collector—W. R. Ca^ey.
County Surveyor—Noah Bennett.
County Treasurer—John Massey.
Coroner—D. McDitha.
County Commissioners—J JHMwiW-'
W. Heines, James Knox, J. G. Rich, Isham
Reddish. Regular meetings of the Board
3d Wednesday in January, April, July and
October. Jas. F. King, Chairman.
coup. s.
Superior Court, Wavne County—Jno. L.
Harris, Judge; Simon W. Hitch, Solicitor-
General. Sessions held on second Monday
in March and September.
BMslear, Pierce Cent? Stop
TOWN DIRECTORY.
TOWN OFFICERS.
Mayor—R. G. Riggins.
Councilmen—D. P. Patterson,.). M. Downs
J. M. Lee, 13. D. Brantly.
Clerk of Council—.). M. Purdom.
'l'own Treasurer—B. D. Brantly.
Marshal—E. Z. Byrd.
COUNTY OFFICERS.
Ordinary—A. J. Strickland.
Clerk Superior Court—Andrew M. Moore.
Sheriff—E. Z. Byrd.
County Treasurer—D. P. Patterson.
County Serveyor—J. M. Johnson.
Tax Beceiver and Collector—J. M. Pur
don).
Chairman of Road Commissioners—llSl
District, G. M., Lewis C. Wylly; 12 0 Dis.
triet, G. M., George T. Moody ; 584 District,
G. M., Charles S. Youmanns; 590 District,
G. M.. D. B. McKinnon.
Notary Publics and Justices of the Peace'
etc.—Blackshear Precinct. 584 district,G.M.,
Notary Public, J. G. S. Patterson; Justice
of the Peace,R. R. James; Ex-officio Con
stable E. Z. Byrd.
Dickson?s Mill Precinct 1250 District, ®
M , Notary Public,Mathew Sweat; Justice of
the Peace, Geo. T. Moody; Constable, W.
F. Dickson.
Patterson Precinct, 1181 District, G. M.,
Nota y Public, Lewis C. Wylly; Justice of
the Peace, Lewis Thomas; Constables, H.
Prescott and A. L. Griner.
Schlatterville Precinct. 590 District, G. M
Notary Public, D. B. McKinnon; Justice o
the Peace, R. T. James; Constable, John W
Booth.
Courts—Superior court, Pierce county
John L. Harris, judge; Simon W. Hitch
Solicitor General. Sessions held first Mon
dry in March and September.
Corporation court, Blackshear, Ga., session
held second Saturday in each Month. Police
court sessions every Monday Morning at 9
o’elook.
P HOUSE,
Corner Broad and Oherrv Streets,
(Near the Depot,)
T. P LITTLEFIELD. Proprietor.
Nwly renovated and refurnished. Patiis
faetien guaranteed. Polite waiters will take
yonr baggage to and from the house.
HOARD $2.00 per day. Single Meals, 50 ets
CURRENT PARAGRAPHS.
Southern News.
Austin, Texas, has three ice factories.
Mobile has been steadily reducing the
expensesofher municipal government for
six years. Her debt is over two millions.
The employes of the Atlanta, Ga.,
Rolling Mills have struck, and the mill
is stopped. They demand their back pay
and number nearly four hundred.
Thomas R. Addy, a well-known young
man of Augusta, committed suicide the
Ist instant by shooting himself in the
head. He left a note assuring his friends
of hia sanity, and stating he had found
himself unable to pay his debts.
Memphis Appeal: The caterpillars are
making their annual appearance in this
state, as well as in Mississippi and
A rxansas. They are becoming a national
pesi, or nuisance, and are about to destroy
the green leaves now breaking forth.
A contract has been entered into be
tween ex-Gov, Brown and the State of
Georgia. The former has agreed to pay
the latter $500,000 in yearly installments
of $25,000 for the use of the convicts for
twenty years from April, 1879.
Savannah News : The spring of 1878
will be hereafter known in the chronicles
of Gocrgia as “ the spring in which the
woods were burnt.” It is declared that
there never has been known a season
when there was such a general burning
of the woods as has taken place during
March. The weather for the past fifteen
or tweuty days has been very dry, and
fires have spread rapidly.
Jacksonville correspondence of the
Savannah News: Captain Eads’ report
is awaited with great interest. Should
it be as favorable as is anticipated, and
the requisite appropriation can be
obtained, anew era will open upon this
section of our country. An immense
impetus would at once be given to the
cultivation of early fruits and vegetable?,
aDd the noble forces of the rive r region
would speedily be brought into requisi
tion. The amqunt required of the
general government would rapidly be
repaid by the increased demand for the
public lands, and the entire state would
take a tremendous stride on the road to
progress and prosperity.
VOL 11.
Facts and Figures.
Tobacco will be raised in the north
| western provinces of India, this year,
j from seed taken from the United States.
England's Cleopatra’s needle will be
j erected on the top of the Adelphi steps,
between Charing Cross and Waterloo
bridges.
It is proposed to make Oakland the
capital of California, as Sacramento is
often rendered almost inaccessible by
freshets.
Several Paris papers print an order
every day in their advertising columns,
which, if cut out, will admit the bearer
into certain theaters at half price.
The Mormon colonists from Utah are
utilizing the channels of the old At tee!
canals they find along the borders of the
valleys of Arizona, where they have set
tled. One writes that he is satisfied the
canals found in one small district will,
by being repaired, supply an abundance
of water for the irrigation of farms capa
ble of sustaining 100,000 persons.
There are in the United States 268
distilleries in operation. They use
57,763 bushels of grain daily, making
223,555 gallons of highwines therefrom.
From this it is ascertained that about
20,000,000 bushels of corn, rye and wheat
are used for distilling, which makes about
80,000,000 gallons of liquor per year.
Besides this, in the New England states
they make about 2,750,000 gallons of
rum out of molasses.
Personalities.
Mr. Thomsa Nast is a native of Bava
ria, and is about forty years old. He is
a short, thick-set, self-confident man,
but not a Hayes republican.
Mr. Thomas Mehon, botanist of the
board of agriculture of Pennsylvania,
has contributed 450 trees for the decora
tion for the grounds of Vanderbilt
University.
The Hon. William Maxwell Evarts
was a Boston Latin school boy. He is a
man of almost phenomenal thinness, yet
he has a very shrill voice, a tremendous
appetite, and is the father of eleven chil
dren.
Gen. John A. Dix is a small man, but
also a very active one. Few sportsmen
can beat him in bringing down a snipe or
a duck, spite of his years. Gen. Dix
regularly draws his peusion as a soldier
of the war of 1812.
Mr. Bayard Taylor, our new minister
to Germany, was, a quarter of a century
ago, a slight man, but now, what with
beer and beef, he has grown heavy. He
must weigh over two hundred pounds.
He started in life as a printer.
Mr. James Gordon Bennett, if he takes
care of his health and money, ought to
become one of the richest men in the
country. He has some expensive tastes,
but he is not a spendthrift by any means.
He is now verging on forty, and is un
married.
Mr. Peter Cooper, the eccentric phil
anthropist, lives in a large square house
near the beginning of Lexington avenue.
He wears his hair long, and has a singu
lar beard of a sort of ran shape. Mr.
Cooper always carries with him an air
cushion which he blows up to sit on.
Mr. Jay Gould is a short man, with a
Jewish cast of countenance. He is of a
bilious habit, and every now and then
feels the necessity of taking pills. Mr.
Gould was first known in New York as
the partner of the late Mr. Charles M.
Leupp, the’merchant in the Swamp, who
built what is known as the Bareda man
sion, the fine house on the corner of
Madison avenue and Twenty-fifth street.
Mr. Leupp committed suicide.
About Notable Englishmen.
Earl Granville ranks among the Eng
lish aristocracy as the best linguist; he
is master of twenty languages. In
appearance he looks like an oiled and
curled Assyrian bull. The parting of
bis hair has never been known to change
one hair’s breadth.
The Lord Chief Justice of England,
Sir Alexander Cockburn, Bart,, was
offered a peerage, but declined it. He is
a bon vivant, and eats asparagus all the
year round. No dinner party is ever
organized in London without asking him
to grace the board. He quaffs port.
The Duke of Buckingham and Chandos
is scraping up all he can to pay off his
inherited debts. Queen Victoria, admir
ing his integrity, gave him the gover
norship of Madras. His grace has
brought up his daughters in the sensible
way, and a dinner cooked by their lady
ships is worthy of Francatelli.
The Marquis of Salisbury comes from
old stock ; he is a tall, tbick-set man, and
grows a full, black beard; he prefers
riding in a cab to his own elegant
brougham; if anxious to see whether
you have any defects in your personal
appearance, walk behind his lordship,
and his coat will serve you as a looking-
glass His tailor’s bills were never large.
The Duke o' Portland, even in London,
is not much heard of. On subscription
lits he puts down the figure 1, and. after
it. not two naughts, but three. This is
an invariable rule. When there has
been great distress in England he has
employed odc thousand laborers at a
time to dig a pit, and ordered them to fill
it up again. He is a martyr to a host of
bodily ailment*.
JESUP, GEORGIA, WEDNESDAY, APRIL 24, 1878.
SEGOViA AND MADRID
BIT ROSE TKKRY MOKE.
it Rings to me in the sunshine,
It vrhlspeis all night Jon* ;
My heartache li fce an echo
Repeats tho wishful tong ;
Only a f taint old love-ltl .
Wherein my life lien hid .
“ Mv body is m Segovia,
Bat mv soul is in Madrid."
I dream and waso and wonder.
For dream and day nre one.
Alight with vanished fa© s,
And nays forever done.
They smile and shine around tne,
As long ago they did,
For my body is in S* govia,
But my soul is in Madiid.
through inland hills and forests
I hear the ocean breeza,
The creak of straining cordage,
The rush of mighty sens,
Hftef angry billow*
Through which a swift keel slid,
Fr my body is in Segovia,
But my soul is in Madrid.
'mired little darling*
ao bore my heart away,
A wide and woful eecan
Between us roars to-dav;
Yet I am ©lore beside you.
Though time and space forbid ;
Mv body is in Segovia,
but my soul is in Madrid.
If I were once in heaven,
Thcie would no no more se i;
My heart would cease to wander,
My sorrows cease to be
My rad eyes sleep iorever,
In dus nd daises hid.
And my b.idy leave Segovia -
Would my soul lorget Madrid
[Harper's Magazine for April.
A LUCKY TUMBLE.
When Mrs. Snatcham asked me,
“ knowing my usual kindness,” whether
I would watch the babv in the cradle,
‘‘just for half an hour,” I felt that a
crisis had come. I must leave Mrs.
Snatcham’s.
I say Mrs. Snatcham’s, for Mr. Snatch
am was not unduly prominent in his own
house. He was a meek man, with tear
ful eyes Mrs. Saatcham was-well, a
woman with a will, and she had eyes
which made you feel uncomfortable. I
had been private tutor in this abode for
twelve months. My charge consisted of
four young gentlemen, of strong bodies
and perverse dispositions. They quar
relled incessantly on all points save one.
Against their lawless tutor they com
bined heartly. Their cry was ever
“War to the knife!” I had borne it
all; I might have continued to bear it
all, but no, I could not take charge of
the baby, even for half an hour. I rmiot
bid the Snatchams adieu.
I was gloomily cogitating my next
movement when a letter arrived for me
from the only near relative I possessed
—an old uncle, to whom I had written
detailing my troubles.
“ Look here, Harry,” it ran, “if
you’ve a mind to live in peace and die
worth money, you forget all about your
Latin and Greek and such things. Fine
things they are, I dare say, but f never
saw that they turned into much beef or
mutton. You put your books in the
fire and your pride in your pocket, and
never take it out again. You know
what I was in early life, nephew. I kept
a shop—a general shop—in a country
town, and I hadn’t done so badly. Well,
Pvejust heard the good will and stock
in trade of a shop of this kind in a little
town fifty miles from London is for sale,
and say the word and I’ll buy it for you.
And, as your education has been so
neglected that you’d know nothing of
such a business, I’ll come and steer you
aright for a time, until fortune is before
you. There now 1”
Humph ! I gave a grasp or two at
this grand proposition ol my worthy
relative. Private tutorship at thfc
Snatchams was poor enough, but the
keeping of “a shop of all sorts” in a
country town, under the guidance of
my good uncle! Well, it was the old
story, “ We never know what we may
come to.”
And so I left the Snatchams and the
£2O a year they gave me (hy-the-by, I
believe my successor received only 18
guineas, and did not object to mind the
baby), and wrote to my uncle that 1 was
ready to accompany him to the—the
shop. Alas, for the vanity of human
designs! News came back that my
relative had died suddenly, and had left
the whole of his property to the “ Sau
sage-makers’ Benevolent Institution,” of
which he had been a vice-president, in
company (to his great delight) with half
a dozen nobles of the land.
However, all the money needful on
my account had been paid, and rather
than return to the horrors of private
tutorship I secured the services of an
experienced shopman, and determined
to try my fortune in [the new direction
so lauded by my deceased relative.
I do not want to lengthen my story,
and therefore I will comprise a great
deal in one short sentence—l tried and
I failed.
I soon began to perceive, not so very
far off, not the fortune my uncle had
foretold, but bankruptcy and the work
house. And when these pleasant pros
pects came very distinctly to my mental
vision, then it was I engaged to marry !
Thus it happened. I became attached
to the only daughter of a widow, living
some ten miles, from my abode. It was
a sjieedy acquaintance and a quick ac
ceptance by the young lady, but some
how the mother, without actually ob
jecting, would not agree, and I pressed
Miss Lucy for the reason.
“ I have told yon, you are going to
starvation,” I said. “My place is a fail
ure, and in a month we shall be in the
workhouse; the prospects are clear and
charming, and you are quite satisfied.
What is it then that troubles your
mamma?”
Well,” answered Lucy, “ it is very
foolish of mamma to conceal from you
something which you evidently don’t
know, though I wonderatyour ignorance.
It is your—your establishment.”
“ Shop, we generally call it. Lucy;
but how do—”
“ Don’t you know it’s hauuted ? ”
“ Can not say I do, and I don't care il
it is.” •
“ But if I am to live with you there,
i care very much. They say that for
several nights after his death, old Jenks,
the former owner, was seen in his shop
in a great nightcap audt with a large
carving knife.
“ A most formidable and disagreeable
sort of ghost, I must say ; but how have
you heard this?”
“ Ah! there’s the secret, although I
can not imagine how the story of
mamma’s former connection with old
Mr. Jenks has not come to your ears.
Now. listen to me. But first solemnly
promise you will not repeat what I am
about to tell you. There, hold your
tongue, and don’t interrupt me. You
are so fond of hearing yourself talk.
Men are so much given that way. I’ve
told you half the truth and that is more
than you deserve. Well, the other half,
which you might so easily have known
if you had not been so stupid, runs thus;
My mamma and Mr. Jenks were formerly
near neighbors, and Mr. Jenks (ell
violently in love with mamma and
offered her marriage, and mamma re
fused him and Mr. Jenks went mad, and
one day he presented a pistol at his
and—”
“ G@od gracious! ”
“ Would have killed himself, but
somebody knocked him down, and the
pistol wont off, and mamma was stand
ing close by, and—”f
“ Mercy on me I ”
“ Was nearly killed—with (right.
Then, when Mr. .Tenks came to his
senses, he was sorry, and though he
couldn’t have mamma (for she married
papa, and he lived manv years) yet he
made a will in mamma’s favor, leaving
her everything. He told mamma so
positively one day when he was poorly,
taking some gruel. Then he died; but
though search waa made, high and low,
no will could be found, and a rich old
heir-at-law came in for everything.
And there’s the reasoh mamma can not
bear that place. And, please, what is to
be done?”
It was a curious story, and I had not
heard a word of it before. And as to
whal was to be done, that was a puzzle.
I could move, of course, but where to,
and with what prospects of doing better,
and where were the costs of removal to
come from ? So I said I muHt argue the
point with Mrs. Barton, and this I did,
and having overcome her scruples, it was
agreed the marriage should take place
at once, and that we should all live
together and face the ghost, if need be,
and, which were of more importance, the
difficulties of the situation.
Aud so Lucy and I were married, and,
of course, were supremely happy, and it
was not until three writs had been served
upon and four lawyers’ letters been sent
me, and the gas company had cut off the
gas, and the landlord giving me notice
to quit, that with just a little feeling of
apprehension we began to consider what
next.
One night, after rather a long con
ference on the state of affairs, when Lucy
had apparently fallen into a deep sleep,
I roused up suddenly, fancying I heard a
sound below. Very gently rising so as
not to wake my wife I left the' room and
looked down stairs into the shop. A
light entered through some apertures at
the top of the shutters, and to my aston
ishment and alarm I saw a figure in
white behind t, e counter, in the act, as
it seemed, of opening one of the canisters.
Was it Mr. Jenks’s ghost? The light
was insufficient to show me more than
the bare outlins of the figure and the
slight movement ef the arms. I watched
with rather a beating heart, I confess,
for a minute, and then I thought that
before seeking closer quarters with what
might be an apparition, but which much
more probably was a burglar in his shirt
sleeves, I would don some garments; so,
refraining from going hack into the bed
room and frightening my wife, I went to
an upper room and procured some there.
Then I again descended, and the figure
was gone, I went into the shop—all in
order. So much marvelling, I went to
bed.
When next morning I told the story
my companions were scared.
“ Let us go-—let us get out of the un
lucky place,’’said my wife passionately.
“ Whatever there is, Harry, sell it at an
'alarming sacrifice,' and then you must
get a secretaryship under government,
or a judgeship in the colonies, or some
thing of that kind. Mamma’s sixth
cousin’s husband is—is—well, i forgot
what he is, but there’s seme connection
or other between him and a member of
parliament and he must do something
for you, that’s what it comes to. Bo
now, please, we’ll go as soon as possible.”
It was painful, but it was necessary,
to explain to my ar young wife that
the powersof her mamma’s distinguished
relative, even should he be williug to
exert them, were probably limited.
Lucy would not believe it. And the
fetter was written and was answered.
Well, now for the workhouse. And
upon my word I do think something
dreadful would have occurred, but—
A few nights on—again that sound.
“ Lucy,” I said, gently, but she did not
arouse, and I thought perhaps I had
better not disturb her. It was quite
dark as I very quietly dressed in part,
and then stepped out on to the stairs.
Again, a little light of very early morn
ing coming through the shutters revealed
faintly s white figure behind the coun
ter in the shop, its arms waving to
and fro and its head bending over as
though speaking to a Customer. I
strained my eyes, but nothing more
could I mate out than that the head of
the figuro was white.
“ It must be the veritable Jenks,” I
said to myself; “ and that is his night
cap. Where is the carving knife,
though TANARUS”
One would have thought the apparis
tion heard me, lor it moved aside, took
something and waved it in the air. It
was my shop carving knife.
Presently the figure rose and began to
ascend the stairs. It was a hard matter
to stand my ground, hut 1 did, and then
I saw boforc me Lucy, my wife! She
was walking in her sleep. Fearing to
wake her, I stood aside to let her pass
and my foot slipped and I fell heavily to
the bottom of the stairs.
Directly all was confusion. Mrs. Bar
ton, the shopman and our small servant
ran out of their bed-rooms, and Lucy,
awakening, shrieked and fainted. But
I was the worst off. So heavy had been
my fall that I hail actually broken in the
flooring at the foot of the staircase, and
it was with some difficulty that they
extracted me.
Putting my hands behind me, to assist
my seif, they touched what seemed to be
a small leather hag. I drew it forth.
“ A money bag, I declare, and full of
cains 1 ”
Thu shopman and the small maid had
ritreated, having respect for the pro
prieties, but my wife and her mother
looked on witli astonishment.
“ Sure enough, money,” I continued,
jingling the contents of the bag. “ Why,
there must have been some secret re
ceptacle there, where my venerable pre
decessor kept hiH valuables. Here is a
papPr flood tr.ru— What in the world
is this?"
They bent over my shoulder as by the
light of a solitary candle T read the
endorsement—“ The will of Simon Jenks.”
It was not in nny cover, so we read it at
once. It was very short, and was
roughly drawn aud written, as though
the form had been copied. But it waa
duly witneased and was perfectly intel
ligible.
The testator bequeated all his prop
erty to Lucy Barton.
Whin we had drawn breath—“ Avery
lucky tumble,” I said, “and my bruises
are cured already.”
The will was proved under £20,000. —
[Cassell’s Family Magazine ]
Tlie Earn Inara of liObliist/N.
Does lobbying pay ? In some cases it
does; in other cases it does not. There
are all grades of incomea ’among lobby
men. The camp-followers and occa
sional amateurs may pick up Irons fifty
to five, hundred dollars in a session, but
the big lobbyists have frequently earned
thousands ot dollars in a single session.
One lobby member, a man who is entiled
to wear the proud title ol “Speaker of
the third house,” has, in the course of a
decade and a half, earned over sixty-five
thousand dollars. From the best infor
mation obtainable it is doubtful if any
obbyist has earned over seven or eight
thousand dollars in a session.
How great the value of a lobbyist’s
services may be can be seen by a single
instance." Once upon a time a certain
general law was proposed by a state com
mission. The bill which embodied this
law was designed to be general in its
application, and was framed in entire
ignorance of how oppressively some of
its provisions would operate in a certain
case. The bill was being discussed in a
committe room, when it was discovered
by a lobbyist of brains and keen percep
tions that a certain section of the bill
would compel a great corporation to
make an outlay of $1.500,000 to comply
with its provisions. The corporation
was notified, and a powerful influence
brought to bear on the committee. The
section was modified by a special clause
inserted, and a vast sum of money saved.
Lobbyist* are frequently retained by
corporations simply to keep a lookout
for measures affecting their particular
interests, and if such measures are in
troduced the lobbyist notifies his em
ployers. An ex-governor of this state
has said that his firm has to keep a man
at the state house to watch for dan
gerous bills. Our shi(ting and frequent
legi-lation yearly imperils hundreds of
important interests. The mere cost fo
running the legislative machinery is the
[ smallest part of the burden imposed yb
I i-nnual sessions.—f Boston Herald.
Never confide a secret t*- your rela
-1 tives; blood will tell.
Wlij llie Average Savings Hank
Hi N. G.
OI course, savings banks might be
made really safe, and there are undoubt
edly savings banks now in the oily which
are at least as trustworthy as a govern
ment which repudiates an eighth of its
debts. Still the confidence which people
put in the mere name of a savings bank
is as unreasonable and indefensible as the
confidence of the Afiican in his fetich.
What did the majority of the depositors
in the Sixpenny savings bauk know of
Mr. Miles and the other officers of the
bank ? What good reason had they to
believe that these men had heneHy and
intelligence enough to make them fit to
l>e trusted with other people’s money ?
So long as people in this blind way will
trust their money to virtually unknown
men, need we be surprised that to be a
savings bank officer is perhaps the most
profitable career of crime upon which an
enterprising malefactor can enter ?
The real foundation of this belief in
savings banks is the theory that when
one irresponsible man lakes to himself
two or three other irresponsible men, and
they jointly call themselves hank nffi
cers, they become ipso facto trustworthy.
The nativo African king believes that
if a lion drinks water over which fetich
man has cast a apell, the b at instantly
changes his nature and It comes gentle
and inoffensive. We, who pity the ig
norance of the native kings, believe the
words “ savings bank ” exercise a magi
cal influence upen men who call them
selves savings hank < fficers, and that they
are thus made incapable ol stealing or of
wasting in foolish speculations the funds
intrusted to them. No one in his sense
would think of rushing into the street
and asking the first stranger whom he
might meet to accept without security
the loan of a few thousand dollars.
Even the depositors ot the Sixpenny
savings bank would have thought them
selves fit to represent, a western constit
uency in congress had ihey opened the
city directory at hazard and on noticing
the name of “ William Miles” had with
out any further knowledge ol him,
gone to his house and begged him to take
their money and give them a receipt for
it. The Kix|ienny savings hank was
nothing more than a partnership between
President Miles and a few other men
equally unknown to the general
public; but hundreds ol |>eople who
would not have lent a dollar to Mr. Miles
or his associates personally,gladly brought
their money to those gentlemen as soon
as they found them sitting at the receipt
of deposits ina hank building (>f course,
there is hut one explanation of this. The
public believes that men undergo a mi
raculous mortal transformation when
they become the managers of savings
banks, and that lire Dank fetich will
render it impossible for hank officers to
steal.
In like manner, we all know about the
real nature of savings bunks. Year by
year wo have seen them explode and
vanish, leaving a fantastic mockery
known as a “receiver” behind them.
Cashiers and presidents in a long arid
uninterrupted succession have marched
toward the Canada border, or to the
wharves of transatlantic steamships,
carrying the assets of their banks with
them. Yet, knowing all these things, we
still cling to our Irelief in savings hanks,
and cannot get rid of the delusion that it
is safe to lend money without any se
curity, provided the Isrrrowers occupy
a building over the door of which is the
sign “ Savings Bank.”—[N. Y. Times.
An Irish Munchausen.
An Irish Munchausen has turned up
at a Boston restaurant in the humble
capacity of a waiter. A guest who has
been served with a small lobster—‘‘Do
you call that a lobster, Mike?” “ Faix,
i believe they do he callin’ thim lobsters
here, sur. We call ’em crabs at home.”
“ Oh 1” said the diner, “ you have lobsters
in Ireland?” “Is it lobsters? Bsgorrs,
the creek is full of ’em. Many a time
I’ve seen ’em when I lepped over the
sthrames.” “How long do lobsters grow
in Ireland?” “ Well,” said Mike,
thoughtfully, “to sphake widin -sounds,
sur, I’d say a matter of five or six feet.”
“Whatl Five or six feet? How do
they get around in these creeks?”
“ Bed ad. sur, the creeks in Ireland are
fifty or sixty feet wide,” said the imper
turable Mike. “ But,” asked the guest,
“ you had seen them when you were
leaping over the streams, and lobsters
here live in the sea.” “ Bure, I did, sur;
we’re powerful leppers in Ireland. As
for thesay.sur, I’ve seen it red with ’em.”
“ But look here, my fine lellow,” said the
guest, thinking he had cornered Mike at
last, “ lobsters are not red until they are
boiled." “Don’t I know that?” said
Mike, “but there are bilin’ springs in the
ould counthry, and they shwim through
em,’ and come out all ready for ye to
crack open and ate ’em.'
. An honest ignoramus, who had es
caped a great peril by an act of heroism,
was much complimented for his bravery.
One lady said : “ I wihh I could have
seen your feat.” Whereupon he blushed
and stammered, and, finally, pointing to
his pedal extremities, he said, “ Well
there they he, mum.”
WAIFS ALND Will MS.
Why, Her, Lot Her Go.
Some tiimritgo I fell in lov.?
*Vifch pretty Mary J *rm
And I did-hope Hisr by arl by
She’d Idftfc me fe ek huG.-i
Alan! idy hopes dunniu; Iri ht
Were ail fit one*- -t
She ‘a# a ck*']> I ■'</ i u- *h : .
And she fell in love wlih him
Next lime 1 went - (now how it was
I don’t pretend lo say)—
’But when my chair moved up to her*,
* hy. hers would lanve away.
Befnrt I always got a
(1 own wiDj, sonic small fun* )
But now. lorgqplh. for love or fun,
' J is Bon-eome-al-n bu -h
Well, there we sat, and when we spoke,
Our conversation dwelt
On everything tho sun
Except w hat most we fair.
Enjoying this delightful mood.
vv ho then should just step in
But ho, of all Iho world whom I
Had rather see than him
And he fouldfait (Sown by her side
And she could-nil the while
lie pressed Tier har.d within his own
Up n him sweetly smile ;
And she cuuM plftck a roe© lor him,
S<> fresh M&bright avd red,
And gave mffitle which hours before
Was fcdmtnk'tu.d p.ifa nnd dead.
Anti she could freely, gladly ting
1 he song he did request
The ones I asked went just the ones
.She-always did det*“ i.
I rose, to leave*-he’<t he so glad
To have md looser stay !
No doubt of it! No doubt they wept
To Joe me gdfcway !
I sat mo down—l thought profound
This maxi id., win© I drew :
”lis easier fac t#like r girl
Than rnako a gin like you.
B tt after f don’t believe
My hoavtwtlthreak with woe:
II * mlii-u I . I• . <-i)'j|
.V hr, ble*s Tier let her go!
NO. 84.
.. A London paper thinks that by
residing in Europe an American girl can
gradually “get rid of her war-hoop.”
. .In 1872 there were thirty- two circus
shows on the road. This year there are
but thirteen.
. . Chicago lias 2,800 liquor saloons for
her 500,000 inhabitants, givingone saloon
for 178 people, or one to every thirty-five
adult males.
. Chicago didn’t derive a greater blaze
of glory Irom Mrs. O'Leary’s cow than
she will from Mr. O’Leaty’s calves.—
[Boston I’ost.
. .The Oeorge Washington sociable, of
men who could not tell lies, was aban
doned. The only guests who camo were
two insurance agents.
.. Landlady : “ I’m sure I hope you’re
comfortable, rsir! Ido so dislike changing
my lodgera; when I get a nice single
i gentleman I could keep him forever I’
. .A man must havo his pants all one
color, but a woman can sew a yard of
red flannel around the bottom of an old
calico dresH and have an elegant under
skirt.
. The number of children lost daily in
the city of New York is very large.
Over thirty found temporary quarters
at the police central station one day
recently.
At twenty a woman searches for the
trailing arbutus. At twenty-five she is
after horse-radish. At thirty she digs
roots for her blood. Much is gentle spring
in the various Htages of the feminine
life.—[Danbury News.
And the laird looks down on the
czar, remaiking: “My son, your battle
has l>een fc h<>!y <*ie. I led you on to
victory aud now you own most of Tur
kov and havo some gooii southern ports.
But when are tin poor Christians that
you sought to liberate? Strikes mo
there iv.iau little desire to put up a job
on me in I list direction.”
You can buy a cane fish-pole for
twenty five cent,-; and catch just as many
fish with it as you can with a jointeel
one that costs seventeen dollars; but you
can’t take it apart and slip it under your
coat when you to fishing on Sunday as
you can one that is in sections, and a
religious outside appearance is worth
sixteen dollars and seventy-five cents to
most men.
..The other day Jimmy, four years
old, found one of those bone rimmed
circles which, I believe, ladies call eye
lets, and, while playing, in the garden,
swallowed it. The la.nily were in the
house, busily engaged with a work on
entomology, when Jimmy ran in, with
mouth wide open and eyes distended to
their utmost capacity. His mother
caught him by the arm, and, trembling
with that deep anxiety which only a
mother can lee), inquired : “What in the
matter ? What has happened ?” “Water I”
gasped little Jimmy, nearly “scared to
death.” It was brought him, when,
after drinking copiously, he exclaimed:
“Oh. mother, 1 swallowed a hole I”
“ Swallowed a hole, Jimmy ?” “ Yea,
m ither, swallowed a hole, with a piece of
•ivory ’round it!
What they Eat in Sweden.
The ordinary routine of dining seems
in Sweden to be in wild confusion.
Soup sometimes ends instead of begin
ning the dinner. Iced soups and cold
fish are dainties to the Scandinavian
palate. Much of the soup is nauseously
sweet, flavored with cherries, rasbrrrries
and gooseberries, oltc-n with macaroon
cakes and spikes of cinnamon Heating
wildly about in it. This is eaten as a
sort of desert, and is cold and often beau
tifully clear. If Heine bitterly reviled
the English for bringing vegetables on
the table an nalurel, there is no such
complaint to tie made here. Everything
is eaten with sauce—sauces rea, white,
blue, green, yellow and black—sauces
celestial and infernal. Strong combina
tions of ice cream heaped over delicious
apple-tarts, or strange dishes of berry .
juice boiled down and mixed with farina,
sugar and almonds, then cooled, molded
and turned out into a basin of cream, to
be eaten with crushed sugar and wine
apjiear at the end ol dinner. The
! Swedes share with the Danes and Arab
a passionate tondne-r; for sweet meat-.
Everything is slightly sweet ; even gret n
jeas are sugared, as well as the innum
arable tea and coffee cakes, so that long
before the unh-iopy tourist has finished
liis tour he is a hopeit-A dyspr-f‘ir: a
i raging Swedcphobe.