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BOITEIS 3k Tilt)'lAS UAV'II M.ESQ VOL. 111. NO. 50. cf nion, IB'S 1 a». ft. SMMBSSffSCM, Publisher (By Authority,) of the Laws of the United States: «a Greene Street, nearly oppo- i site tbe Market. hided eVsiy Tuesday morning,at $3 per annum M<» subscription taken for less than a year bad no paper discontinued, but at the option ot ■ the puulislier, until all arrearages are paid. Advertisemests conspicuously inserted at the ttsual rates— those not limited when handed in, will be inserted 'till forbid, and charged accord* uglv. CHANGE OF DIRECTION. We desire such of our subscribers as may a j lay time wish the direction of their papers chan fed from one Post Office to another, to inform us, m «// casts, of the placo to which they bad been previously sent; as the mere order to for* ward them to a different office, places it almost out of our power, to comply, because we have no aaoaoa of ascertaining the office from which they aro ordered to be changed, but a search through oar whole subscription Book, containing Severn thousand names, POSTAGE. It is a standing rule with this office, as well as all others, that the postage of all letters and communications to the Editor or Proprietor most be paid. We repeat it again,—and re quest alt persons having occasion to address us apon business connected in any way with the establishment, to bear it in mind. Persons wishing to become subscribers to the Standard of Union, are particularly requested to give their attention to this; or they will not have the pa ptr forwarded to them. KEIIOVAL. ws'sy Cabinet Furniture WARE ROOHIS. I HAVE found my premises 313. and SOBrosd st., too small and inconvenient to afford my •ustomers fair opportunity of examining what they purchase, and have therefore BEHOVED to tbe corner of Broad and Campbcfl-street, last occupied by George D. Combs, wtll known as Jit Knock t,- McKenzie's old stand, where 1 shall eonstantly keep on hand a larrje and general as sortment of plain fashionable Furniture. Families wishing to purchase, have only to cal «n the subscriber, to de so advantageously. N. B.—Orders filled from ths North at shortest notice. THOMAS M. WOODRUFF. Xov.lo ts—43. Capital Stock $500,000—-All paid in. IVERSON 1.. HARRIS, AGENT at Milledgeville, of the Georgia in surance and Trust Company, will taka Fire aad Marine Insurance ont he most reasonable ** ru " thomas s. Metcalf, rre»-t. Wa. T. Gould, Secr’y. Dirtclsrsvflhe Georgia Insurance and Trust Com pany, Nooewbcr klh 1336. Jittmuel Hole. Benjamin 11. H'arren, David /P. St. John, Elisha Morton, Adam Johnston, Edward Thomas, Jacob Moise, James P. Stuart, Solomon Kneeland, Samuel II Peek, Hays Bowdre, Isaac T. Heard, Pleasant Stovall, William H. Morgan, Artemas Gould, Harper C. Bryson, John M. Adams, John V. Cowling, Andrew J. Miller, Edward Padelford. Nwr 17—44 I Oyster and Kelish House. THE subscriber has epened a house of this de scription on the North West of the Masonic TH all on. Wayne street, whore he will at all time, famish Oysters, Relishes, fee and a variety of othe things the market usually affords. He invites hir trieuds and tbe public to give him a call. Mor. 17—44-3 t WALTER JONES. EXECUTOR’S SALE—WiII be sold on Wednesday the 28th of December next at ttbe late residence ofJohn Woodall deceased in De . Kalb county, all the personal property of said de • eeaeed, except the negroes, consisting of Horses, ■ Cews Hogs &c. One set of Blacksmith 'Fools, > two Stills, one Road Wagon.—Sale to continue from day today uotill all is sold. Terms made .known on tbe day of sale. JOHN DOBBS. HASTEN D. PALMER. Nov. 17 Executors. FOUR MONTHS after date application wil be made to the Honorable the Inferior court i ■ of Hancock county, when sitting for ordinary pur poses ; fur leave to sell lot of land No 138, in the 23d dieti ict of old Lee now Stewart county, it be ing a part of the real Estate of Edward B. Brook ing deceased, and uot included in his last will and testament, and sold for the beuefit of tbe heirs «f said deceased. REBECCA A.BROOKING. Not 17—44 zKmr’x of tbe last will of dec'd. THE JACKSON ACADEMY will go into operation the ensuing year, under the ( charge of the Rev. W. A- Flokk.vck and Ladt, ,of highly approved qualificatons. Having the ad -vaatage of a Chemical, and Astronomical and Philosophical Apparatus, they will Ire able to give ,thorough instruction in all the branches of liberal .education- Music, Painting and the Fino Artswillbetaughl; Also the Latin and Greek Languages. The highly reputable character of Mr. and MC3. Florence, as teachers, cannot fail to elicit for the institution a liberal patronage, and to place lit, in point of celebrity, at least. u t ,on a level with <any similar institution in the State. The moral and healthy condition of the village Mill afford an additional inducement to parents «*d guardians from aproad to send their children ; (or the accommodation of whom boarding may be ibad. either in private families er at regular house, at the mont reduced prices. wiley w. gaither. Sec’y. Boardof Trustees. November. I 42 wlOt (ET* The Southern Recorder, Milledgeville, will **ert the above weekly untill the Ist January, and pi ward the account.— Macon Telegraph. TW’OTICE—AII person, having any demands ir against the estate of Martha Childers, late pf Washington county deceased, are requested to present them, in the terms of the law, and •JI por tions indebted to said estate, are hereby called on to come forward and settle the Mm n. Glynn eonn |y. 7th November, J33f». J. BURNETT mini. December, |, 46—mlrn. t®je 4 IVSiscell uncous. I-rout the American Manufacturer. THE PERFIDIOUS FRIEND. A TRUE STORY. lii a village in the western part of Ireland lived twoyouug men, named Terence and Pat rick ; they were in-ep -iable companions, and wore so united in mi.tal attchmeni and friend* ship, that they were the admiration of the whole neighborhood. Who would not have thought such a connexion, so intimately formed, would have had no end but that of life ? Yet so it was. I ereucu had been obliged, on some particulai business *ogo to Dublin, were ho stayed two yja s, and then relumed with great jov to cm brace his triend Patrick. Whilst the one friend lived in the capital, the other had married the levely Norah, daughter of a neighboring farm er', who Liking tho behaviour and character of Patrick, had given her to him with a cow, a horse,, and tun sheep; and dying soon after left her his whole little stock. I his, united with what Patrick had before, laid the basis of rural happiness. Possessor of enough to keep him above necessity and contempt, and happy in a beautiful and affectio. a e w i.e, who brought him a lovely boy. Patrick envied not tho lot of the weal.hiost man in the country. He wanted no tiii Ig but the company ot his dear Terence to Complete his felicity, and time at length give him the satisfaction. Terreneo sincerely rejoiced that his friend Patrick had succeeded so well in life, until he beheld the lovely Norah. At first sight love threw its fires into his bosom, and soon proved too strong for friendship to cure, or even re strain. His affection lor Patrick diminished in pioportion as the passion lor his wife increas ed. He was indeed 100 cunning to let his real sentiments appt a ; he cheeriihed them in his own bosom, till ho could contrive a plan that would put him in possession of his wishes. From liis conversation with Norah, who had treated him constantly as the friend of her hus band, he xoon perceived that it would be im possible for him to shake her fidelity to Patrick, whilst he was present; he therefore neve: at tempted it—but cast in his mind how he could separate them. Her confidence in her husband seemed to well fixed to admit of jealously ; the artful Terence never gave the most distant hint i that way, but an opportunity soon oliered io put i his great design in execution; A great cattle fair, at town about twenty miles distant, drew the two friends thither, to sell some cows. Through that town a party had been recruiting for the eighth regiment of light dragoons, was passing towards Dublin, l erece thought this was the time to effect his purpose; and therefore, as soon as they had done the business wnich had brought them to the fair, he pursuaded his friend it was too late to attempt returning home that night, and art fully took him to tbe Inn, i a whicn the officer and his recruits were quartered. He plied tho unsuspecting Patrick with liquor, and so inflam ed his spirit with the glory amended on fighting for for his country, and that tho poor deceived youth, naturally brave tor a. moment, foi gets his wife his son, and his farm, and was persuaded to enlist. Ihe next morning, the fumes of the liquor not being dispersed, Patrick marched with the Dublin, and the detach ment being ready was taken on board the second day after his arrival and sailed for England. In the artificial enthusiain that had been in stilled into Patrick’s mind, bethought it base and inglorious to recede. Tho die was thrown and lie resolved to abide by the cast, rather than give any suspicion of a want of courage. The greatest.part of the money he had rec-ived at the lair, he desired Terence to give to Norah: to tell her lie had entered the road which led to heroism, and would return as soon as he was able. In the meantime he desired her atten tion to the children and his farm, and he would constantly send her the greater part of the plun der he should gain—which he had been inform ed mast be very great. It was irot but Patrick I felt for the separation of his wife, but a martial ' spirit once imbibed, can shaken off | by any Irishman, and he soc etly conceived a ■ kind of contempt for Terence, that he would not engage also. Norah was expecting the return of tho two friends when she perceived Terence come back alone. He give her, indeed, the money hor husband had sent, but he totally suppressed the message. He told the astonished wife, that Pa trick had left him aftei the fair, and gone to an other town about thinly miles off, but would not tell him his motive for the journey, nor let him go with him. A fortnight had passed without the poor disconsolate Norah receiving any news of her husband for though Patrick had written to her and to his friends on reaching Dublin, on his arrival in England, and on the eve of em barkation, yet Terence by his constant attend ance on the neighboring post office, secreted the letters from her, and suppressed the intelli gence that came in those to himself. He had hopes either that Norah’s resentment, at being abandoned by her husband might operate in his favor, or that going to a bloody war, the natu sal ardour of Patrick would soon include him in the number of tho slain, when he would offer himself to be her second husband. But Terence was disappointgd in his expectation. At the end of fourteen days, a courier, passing by the village, assured Norah that he had seen Patrick in Dublin, that he was in the eighth regiment of dragoons, and that he beheld him errtbark for England. This news abated her resentment, and awakenoc her pity. She immediately imagined that Patrick hid been enticed to enlist at tbe town, whether he would not suffer Terence to accompany him, and attributed his misfortune solely to the absence of his friend, and would doubtless have dissuaded him, and now wondered only he had not written to her. She resolved to follow Patrick to England, and for that purpose transferee! the care of her little farm and stock, to an uncle she had there, and taking her young son, with what money sho could, set out for Dublin. Terence sought to turn her from her resolution, but finding n vain he offered to accompany her search. Norah took this as a groat mark of his friendship for her husband, and rejoiced in his protection. On their arrival in Dublin, tlielintelligcnncc the courier was fully confirmed. They immedi ately followed the regiment to London, and there heard it had proceeded to Flanddrs. The constant nows of the horrors of war that reign ed there, had now power to stay the affectionate Norah; she hastened to Ostend, and from thence. I followed the route of the army, till sho arrived I on the field where the battle had just been fought that proved so fatal to the regiment in which Patrick was. Deaf to to all advice she r»m- 1 bled among the slain, with her child, and exani ! inert the faces of all who wore the regimentals ' of dragoons—when alas ! she beheld her Patrick , b* n K pierced with wounds and weltering in his blood. Words cannot express her grief: sho | fainted, but by the assistance of some suttler’.s j wives, ulr, fo,iowcd the c-imp and wdre ctfntry HILLED (SEVILLE, THURSDAY HIOILWIYG, women, she was conveyed to a tent and brought to her senses : that only continued her distress, which was still augmented by what soon follow ed. lerence had accompanied Norah nearly to the camp—-there he stopped, hoping to hear that Patrick was amongst the killed, but no cer tainty could be attained without searching the fiuld. Though the ardent affection of poor Norah made her brave tho dangers with Ter rel!co,.. 11 e follow ed her at what he thought a safe distance, but it proved not ao to him. A party of the flying French skirting the field, surrounded him, and of revenge for the slaugh ter made amongst them, thrust him through with their bayonets and left him. He was soon after found by the sutlers, whose notice was the more attracted by his QAt being iu regimental*. As he was still living, he waa brought to the tent whertMiMerobwud hor child were abelt.r od. He no sooner beheld her, than he felt sur prise, with compunction for tho disasters ho had caused. He employed his last momenta of life in confessing the manner in which he had acted the infamous part of a perfidious friend ! and then expired. 1 his horrid relation added a poignancy to what Norah felt, and she soon sank under the grief. The officers of that brave regiment, be ing acquainted with the catastrophe, generouslv contributed to the care of the child, and its bc'- lug conveyed to its surviving friends. STEPHEN DECATUR, A celebrated American Naval Officer, was born January 6, 1779, on the eastern shore of Maryland, whither his parents had retired while the British were in Philadel phia. He entered the American Navy in March, 1798, and was soon promoted to the rank of first lieutenant. While at Sy racuse, attached to the squadron of Com modore Preble, he was first informed of the American frigate Philadelphia, which, in pursuing a Tripolitan corsair, run on a rot k about four and a half miles from Tri poli, when she was taken by the Tripolitans and towed into the harbor. Lieutenant Decatur conceived th* project of attempt ing her re-capture or destruction. He se lected for this purpose, a ketch, and man ned her with 60 volunteers. February 16, 1804, at 7 o’clock, at night, he entered the harbor of Tripoli, boarded the frigate, tho* she had all her guus mounted and charged, and was lying within half-gun shot of the Bashaw’s castle, and principle battery. Two Tripolitan cruizers were lying within two cables length on the starboard quarter, and several gun-boats within half gun-shot on the starboard bow, and all the batteries on shore were opened upon the assailants. Decatur set fire to the frigate, and continu ed along side until her destruction was cer ia.n. For this exploit, the American Con gress voted him thanks and a sword, and the President immediately sent him a cap taincy. The next spring, it being resolv ed to make an attack on Tripoli, commo dore Preble equipped 9 gun-boats and two bombards, formed into two divisions, and gave the command of one of them to capt. Decatur. Tbe enemy’s gunboats were moored along the mouth of the harbor undar the batteries and within musket shot. Captain Decatur determined to board the enemy’s eastern division, consisting of nine. He boarded in hie own boat, and carried two of the enemy’s boats in succession.— When he boarded the second boat, he im mediately attacked the commander, who was his superior in size and strength, and his sword being broken, he seized the Turk, when a violent scuffle ensued. The Turk threw him, and drew a dirk for the purpose of stabbing ltim K when Decatur, having a small pistol in his right pocket, took hold of it, and turned it as well as he could, so as take effect upon his antagonist and cocked it, fired through his pocket and killed him. When Commodore Preble was superceded in the command of the squadron, he gave the frigale Constitution to Decatur, who was afterwards removed to the Congress, and returned home in her when peace nas concluded with Tripoli. He succeeded Commodore Barron to the Chesapeake, af ter the affair of the frigate 1.-eopard. He was afterwards transferred to the frigate United States. In the war with Great tain and the United Slates, he fell in (Oct. 25, 1812,) with the Macedonian, mounting 49 carriage guns, one of the finest British vessels of her class, and captured lie;- after an engagement of an hour and a half. When Capt. Carden, the commander of the Ma cedonian, tendered him his sword, he ob served that he could not think of taking the sword of an officer who had defended his ship so gallantly, but should be happy to take him by the hand. In a letter written five days alter the capture, he says, “ J need not tell you that 1 have done every thing in my power to soothe and console Capt. Carded : for really, one half of the pleasure of this little victory is destroyed in witnessing the mortification of a brave man, who deserved success quite as much as we did who obtained it.” In January, 1814, Commodore Decatur, in the United States, with his prize, the Macedonian, then equip ped as an American frigate was blockaded at New London by a British squadron greatly superit rin force. A challenge which he sent to the commander, of the British squadron, Sir Thomas Hardy, of fering to meet two of the British frigates with his two ships, was declined. In Jan. 1815, he attempted to set sail from New York, which was blockaded by four British ships; but the frigate under his command, tite President was injured in passing the bar, and was captured by the whole squa dron, alter having maintained a running fight of two hours and a half with one ot the frigates, Endymion, which was disman tled and silenced. After the conclusion of peace, he was restored to his country in 1815. The con duct of the Barbary powers, anil of 1 Jgi rs tn particular, having been insulting <. the United States, on the ratification of peace I with Great Britain,war was declared against Algiers, and a squadron was fitted out un der the command of Commodore Decatur, , for the purpose of obtaining redress. In ■, tbe spring of 1815 he set still, and June 17, Our Cotesetry—. off Cape de Gatt, captured an Algerine fri gate, after a running fight of 24 minutes, in which the famous admiral Rais Hammida, who had long been the terror of the Medi lerraneMn-aca, fell. Ihe American squa dron arrived at Algiers, June 23. In less than 46 hours, Decatur, terrified the re gency' into his own terms, wi.ich were main ly, tliut no tribute should ever be required by Algiers from the United State:;—that all Americans in slavery should be given up without ransom ; that compensation should be made for American property seized, that all citizens ot the United States taken in war should be treated as prisoners of war are ly other nations, ai d not as slaves, but held subject to an exchange without ransom. Aficr concluding this treaty, he proceeded to Aunts, where he obtain, dinttemnitj- f™ the outrages exercised or permitted by the Bashaw. Thence he went to Tripoli, where he made a similar demand, with like success, and procured tire release oi ten captives, Danes and Neapolitans. He ar rived in the United States. Nov. 12, 1815, was subsequently appointed >ne of the board ol Commissioners, and .vas residing at Washington, in that capaciiy, when he was killed in a duel with Comaiodore Bar roa, March 22, 1820, occasiined by his uni.nadversions on the conduct of the lat ter. Courage, sagacity, energy, self pos session, and a high sense of honor, were the characteristic traits of Decatur. From his boyhood he was remarkable for quali ties which presaged eminence n the naval warfare. He enjoyed the sea ashis element. He possessed an active, muscular frame, a quick penetrating eye, and a t Id, adven turous aud adventurous and ambitious spirit. A pretty good story is told, in the United Service Journal, of a poor sailor, on board a vessel which had been wrecked, laden in part with casks of Spanish dollars. The crew ware taken off the wreck in boats, and just before the last boat was pushed off, a man was sent back to ascertain if there might net still be some one left. On arriving on the main deck, where the casks had been left, he found a fellow who had broken open several of the receptacles of base lucre, and spread the contents thereof on a table cloth on deck, in the midst of which he was seated, weapon in hand. Being told that the ship was going to pieces, he replied—“'Die ship may go—l havlMived a poor rascal all my life, and am resolved to die rich.” Remon strance was vain, and poor Jack, who preferred the death of a rich man to the life of a poor ras cal,” was left to die alone in his glory. So lato as 1784, an American vessel ar rived at Liverpool, with eight bags of cot on, which were seized, tinder the I eliefthat America did not produce that article ; and now her produce is 400,000,000 of pounds, the greater part of which is consumed in Great Britain, and it is a remarkable fact that the native country of the Sea-Island cotton is supposed to be Persia ! The Ca rolina Rice sells at 5d per lb. whilst the best India rice sells at only 2 l -.2d to 3d, ori ginated in a aingle bag of East India rice given by Mr. C. Dubois, of the East India House, to an American trader. All the toffee of the West Indies originated in a single plant in the hot bouses of Amster dam. How pregnant are these examples —and how much may the act, tven of an individual, change the face of a country. THE DOCTOR OUTWITTED. Dr. H** J****** was one of the most able, talented and eccentric Surgeons of the last century. His practiceembraced a large circuit, and his lame extended to every part of the state. The Dr. was one morning sitting in his office poring over some medi cal work fresh from the mother country, via Boston, when a loud rap at the door aroused him. ‘ Come in’ said the Doctor, and an old lady hobbled into the apart ment, who seemed the very embodiment of dirt and negligence. ‘Dr.! I’ve got a desp'rate sore foot—can you help it ?’ • I will try—let me see it.’ The old crone proceeded to divest her understanding of the apology for a hose with which it was covered, and displayed to the astounded Doctor a foot—and such a foot ! ‘ My God !’ exclaimed the Dr. throwing up b th hands in arr.a.-.ement —‘what a dirty foot !’ ‘La! Doctor, yej needn’t be in such a wondermant about it—there’s dirtier feet than that in your own house as proud as the young ladies, your daughters—for all that’—and the old hag cackled|fonh her pleasure at the Doctor’s astonishment. • Womun! il you can find a dirtier foot than that in my house, I will give you a guinea, and cure your foot for nothing.’ • Pon honor?’—cried the beldame. ‘ Pon honor!—cried the Doctor. The old woman stript ofl’ the other stock ing and displaying a foot that beggared all description, grinned in the face of the as tounded Doctor, exclaiming— ‘ Gie’me the guinea ! Gie’me the guinea ! I know’d il know’d it! I wash’d ’tother ’fore 1 come here !’—2V. H. Gaz. Anecdote—A writer in the Middle town Sentinel Speaking of the high coloring in the face of the portrait of Washington, as painted by Stuart, which hangs in our Senate Chamber, says : “ A gentleman frOin the South, visiting Hartford, among other things visited this place. While intently gazing upon its portly majesty, some one present observed, • this is the room in which the Hartford Convention was held? The South rner started as if he had vraked up unexpectedly in the middle of a dismal swamp, and with earnestness asked ‘ if that picture,’ pointing to Washington, ‘ was at that time hanging there!” on being answered in the aflirrnafh e, he exclaimed ‘ the blush nf indignation is ■ still on his cheek,' and left the room. From the Randolph Recorder. BEAUTIFUL TFXIAN ANECDOTE. The sentinels were posted at an early hour, around she gloomy fortress of Laba bia, and at short intervals proclaimed, with □ usual vehemence, tbeir nuctural watche yy when a Mexican lady of rank was seen is uing from the marquee, clad in an officers garb, aud hastily passed the garded gate way towards the quarters of the Aciericau prisioners. She approached a youth, whose exterior bespoke him worth ofthestolen in terview, ami from a peculir smile of recog nition, this was not the first. When hasti ly throwing from her shoulders a surplus ap pendage, she requested him to place it uti ids and stlend her ; without the least man ifestation ot alarm she took tho wrm of tW American, and again advanced to the- set)-.' linels, and passed them without inquiry, lurttier than obtain the accustomed “ ami go” from toe supposed officer. Hastily passing the outposte to rhe rugged banks ol the St. Antonio, she suddenly turned, and in her natiie tpngt.e, addressed the American youth whose attentive ear show ed him at once acquainted with the Castil ianj dialect. “ 1 hove this day learned that doubt is entertained concerning the liberation of your countrymen, and, from tbe hasty step aud evasive answer of a cou rier to the illustrious Santa Anna, I am in duced to believe that ere the sun shall shine upon the shattered walls ol Goliad, their fate will be made known. Fly then to your Texian friemls-cscape the doubt that hangs over those guarded in the quartelle, and veil have my prayers for your safety.”— Th • youth gazed for a moment on the taw nv features of his deliverer, and exclaimed : “ I go.—and in token of esteem, receive this pledge in remembrance--al the same time drawing a ring from bis fingers, and placing it upon hers. - As the sun rose on the following morning was heard the dread alarm of the musketry and the.shrilL of the dying on the plains of Labahia. Q I IVorthy of Attention.— A discovery is 1 said to have been made, that if the bodies 1 ol men or animals be plunged lor sometime ' in a solution cf corrosive sublimate, and aftet wards dried, they assume the consist ency ol wood, and the air produces no efftet : upon them; and if the bodies be injected before they are plunged in the liquid, they will retain the color and appearance of life, and consequently form murumies far more perfect than the Egyptian. 1 PHRENOLOGY. ■' - i Dr. Fowler next door to oiiroffice,'is ex- , arnining hundreds of heads every day, and i astonishing the o« tiers with strange develop ments ol therr character, disposition and letn- < per. The ladies are to have their heads looked into this week. This Folwer is a wonder—almost as great a lion as I am.— Yesterday be examined the head of Mr. Danby, portn aster of Utica, and one of the commissioners oftlie new bank there. “ You have been a commissioner of a bank,” said the prhenologist. “ I have,” : aid Danby, in snrpprise. “ You will get into difficulty,” said the phrenologist, thumbing another bump. “ Egad r 1 am a difficulty now,” said Danby in astonishment. “ You are indicted,’’said the phrenolo “So I am. Said Danby in titter consti pation picking up his hat and making ofl'. We would advise the commissioners to have their heads examined by the same phi losopher, without delay. Who known what he may discover.—TV. Y. Herald. Sheridan and his Son Tom.— “ The two Sheridans,” says Kelly, were supping with me one night after die opera, at a period when Tom expected to get into parliament. “ I think, father,” said he, “ that many nten, who are. called great patriots in hlie house of commons, are great humbugs. For my own part, if 1 get ii ta pa>Lament, I will pledge my self to no party, but write upon my lorehead in legible characters, “To be let.” , “And under that, Tom,” aaid his father, “ write— ‘ Unfurnished.’ ” Tom took the joke, but was even with him on another occasion. Mr. Sheridan had a cottage about half a mile from Hounslow Heath. Tom being short of cash, asked his father to let him have some. “Money, I have none,” was the reply. “ Be tbe consequence what it may, money 1 must have,” said Tom. ’ “ If that is the case, my dear Tom,” said the affectionate parent, “you will find a case of loaded pistols up stairs, and a horse ready sad dled in the stable—the night is dark, and you are within half a mile of Hounslow Heath.” “ I understand what you mean,” said Tom, “ but 1 tried that last night. I unluckily stop ped Peake, your treasurer, who told nre that you had been beforehand with him, and had robbed him of every sixpence he had tn the world.”— Wraxall, Warlike Printers.—The printers seem to be gallant boys on the battle field. We mentioned the other day that it was a member of the profession who seized and j captured Santa Antia. We say now, in addition, that James Allen, formerly an ap printice in the Office of the Canlonßepos ' itory in Ohio, and more recently editor of I diflerent newspapers, is now in Texas, at the head of a company of volunteers work ing oj the outside form of the Mexicans most manfully. It is said that many of his company being of the same honorable pro fession with himself, itwillpiove vastly un safe to encounter them. They will prove as invincible as the tenth Legion of Jniius Caesar.— Western Paper. An oi l instrument applied to a neit> pur pose. — A man of much presence of mind living near Aberdeen, heard a thi f break itg into his house in the night. He reach ed to a bottle of soda water on his mantle piece, and as soon as tlys fellow’s head was visable, took deliberate aim and cut the string. The cork bit bun io tbe face : the thief thinking it blood fell on his knees and roared for mercy. He was suffered tn de part on promise of amendment. Lights and Extinguishers My dear fellow, exclaimed a pedantic fop, with a ha. in. ha! at something he had said which be esteemed mighty witty, ‘you should idT" rae “ <MU ul lhe ,ifcr,,w ~f ,be “ J d‘»» »ir,” replied a wag, who had Ii«- tened to h,s emptiness, •• and U p Oo common M-nse as the Extinguisher, which could(nuf tnit your light tn a moment!" J /v A i mCrCi ' ant,a Petersburg, 11 “ ~OB , ln,ad of hardware, oi tt, found a hammer lew than was char ged therein. This he mentioned to n young Irishman, his assistant, who immediately ex claimed - Och, my honey, done be after bothering your head ab.rnt that,*did’nt the nager take it out of the hogshead to open it with ?” ‘ A dog flying open-mouthed at a sergeant upon a inarch, he run the spear of his hal bert into the throat and killed him. The owner was quite indignant that his dog was killed, and asked the sergeant why he could not as well have struck at him with the blunt end of his halbert. “So I would said he “ if he had run at me with his tail. An Irishman had a hell hung in his lodg ing rooms with a string so annexed that he could ring the bell while in bed.—And what use is that ? said one of his neighbors. ‘Oh it is mighty convenient,' he replied “ for when I have slept long enough 1 cau ring tbe bell and wake myself up.” Advice to a young lady.—' 'Talk one half less ; seek not wit, let it come ; be not for ward ; brush your teeth ; pare your nails have clean hands ; go to the bath ; laugh not at all ; never gel angry ; be mild ; be modest, and say your prayers when you find the devil coming. _____ If a woman were to change her sex what 1 sort of a being would she become ? [She would be aAe Z/ien—[a heathen !] “ Mother,” said a little grammarian, “ if Lord Wellington is a hero, was not Joan of Are a shero. Depending on Circumstances,— Said Di nah to Sambo, as they were taking a loving promenade, “ Sambo, howyou link de mar riage-life de most Imppiest i" “ W ell I’ll tell you dat are ’pends altoged der bow dey enjoy demsevs.” Silk Manufacture. — Mrs. J. G. Silk, of Galena, Illinois, lately presented to her husband three little boys. Orlando Lassus, whore great musical tal ents adorned lie last of the sirieent. centu ry, wrote the fill >wing humorous epitaph for himself, w hich is actually inscribtd on liis tomb stone : A child, 1 sang the treble part, A youth, the counter claims my art, A vtan the tenor was my place. But noir, I’m stationed in the lass. The adjutant of a volunteer cc-rps, doubt ful whetl.er he had distributed muskets to all the men, cried out, “ all you that are w ithout arms will plerse to hold up your hands." The best joke we have heard in a long time, was cracked by a village preacher. He was preaching ou a Very sultry day, in a small room and was much annoved by those who casually dropped in after the ser vice had coinineuced, im ariably dosing the door after them.—His patience being at length exhausted by the extn me oppres siveness of the heat, be vo< iterated to an offender—“ Frit nd, I believe isl was prea ching in a boule, you would put the cork in!” A gentleman had a board put on a part of his land on which was written, “ I will give this field to any one who is really contented $” and when an applicant came, he said, “ are you contented ?” Th* gen eral reply was, rt 1 am.” “ Then,” rejoined the gentleman, “ what do you want of my field?" MIRACULOUS CIRCUMSTANCE. We copy the following from No. 5 of the Pickwic k Club Papers ; it is an election “miraculous circumstance,” related by Sam the coachman, as happening io his fathi r’s time :—“ He drove a coach down here once; ’lection time came on, and he was engaged by vun party to bring down wat ers from London. Night afore he was go* ing to drive committee oh t'other side sends for him quietly, and away he gnes With the messenger, who shows him in t large room, lots of gentleman, heaps of papers, pens and ink, and all that 'efe. ‘Ah, Mr. Weller,’ "Said the gentleman in the ch;dr> ‘ glad to see you, sir; howare you?’ ‘Wer ’ r v well, thanke’e you sir,’ says my father t‘l hope you’re pretty rniddlin,’ says he. ‘Pret ty well, thank’:*, sir,’ says the gehlleman ; ‘sit down Mr. Weller, pray sic down, sir.’ So father sits down, and he ant! the gen tleman looked hard nt each other. ‘ Yr.u don’t remember me?’ says the gentleman. 1 Can't sa}' I do,’ says my father. ‘ Oh, I know,' says the gentleman; ' know’d yon ven I vas a boy,’ says he. ‘ Well, I don’t femembet you,’says my father. ‘ That's i werry odd.’ says the gentleman. ‘Werry,’ says rrty father. ‘ Well, it is a werry bad ’tin,’ say s n>y father. ‘ I thought so,‘ says the gentleman. So then they pours him <>ut 4 a glass o’ wine, ahd gammins him about his driving, and gets htm into a regular good InitDotir, and at last shores a twenty I*UBUMMOBO BY p. f,. WHOLE iwo ■ pound note iu his hand ‘lts a werry had road between this and London,’ sayg tl»« gentlemen. ‘Here and there it is n worty heavy road,’ s»s my father. ‘ near the canal, ! think,' says the geniletuak. ‘Nasty bit that ’ert,' says my father. ‘Wd.', Mr. Weller? says the gentlemen, ‘ you're a werry good whip., anil can do what you like with your horses, we know. * W?r» all fond ofyuu A ldr. Weller, so in case yoa should have aa accident, when you're a bringing them here wotersduwn, and should tip ’em over icu> the canal without hmtia* ’em, this is for yourself? says he. *Gex»- tiemen, you’re wecry kind? says my fatl cir ' and I’ll drink you’re health in -anutbe*' glass of wine,’he; vich he did, au.s then buttons «p the money, and bows hiiu selfout. You voukluh believe, Sir, (cuu tlnnt-4 Sam, with a hvok of inexpressible, impudence at liis master,) that on the werry, day as he came down with them voters, hi) eoacli was upset on that ’ere werry spot au<! everyman on etn* was turned into the equal. ‘And got out again ?’ inquired Pickwick’, hastily. ‘Why? replied Sam, very slowly, ' 1 rather think one old gentleman was mistin' ; 1 know his hat was found, but I a’n’t quite certain whether his head it or not. But what I look at is the extra-, ordinary and wonderful coincidence, that arter what that gentleinap said, my father’* ceach should be upset in the werry place, - and on that werry day? ‘lt is, in* doubt, a very extraordinary circninsiance, indeed/ said Mr. Pickuick, English Electioneering-^—e\\, Sarp, said Mr. Pickwick, as bis valet appeared at his bed room door, just as he was conclud ing his toilet; ‘ all alive to day, I suppose? ‘ Regular game, sir,’ replied Mr Weller, our people’s a collecting down at the Towu Arms, and they’re a hollering themselves hoarse already*— ‘ Ah? said Mr Pickwick, ‘ do they setru devoted to their party. Sam ?" ‘Never see sm h devotion in my life, sir? ‘Energetic, ch?' said Mr Pickwick, ‘Uucomromi? replied Sam ; ‘ I iirveeseq men eat and drink so much afore, I ‘fon der they aint afear'd o’ bustin? ‘That’s the mistaken kindness oftbe gen try here,’ said Mr Pickwick. •Werry lil e y,’ replied Sam, briefly. ‘Fine, fresh, hearty fellow* they xectii? said Mr Pickwick,! ghticing from the win dow. ‘Werry fresh,* replied Sam, ‘me and tl«e v two waiters at t(»e Peacock, has bien puw pin over the independent voters as supped there last night. ‘Pumping over independent voter* ex-, claimed Mr Pii'kwtck. •Yes? said his attendant, ‘ every maq •lept vere he fell down, we dragged out one by one, this mornin’ and put ’em under tbe pump, and they are in a reg’lar fine order now. Shillin’ a head, tbe com mittee paid for that ’ere job? ‘Can such things be?’ exclaimed the as tonished Mr Pickwick. •Lord bless your heart, sir,’ said Sam, why, where yoijhalf baptized? that’s nothin* that a’nt. ‘Nothing?’ said Mr Pickwick. ‘Nothing at all, sir ’ replied his attend ant. ‘Thenight afore the last dt.y t>f the election here, tbe opposite party Libto the barmaid at the Town Aims, to Itcces the iiraudy aud water of fourteen imported rlee* tors a* was stoppin* in the house? ‘What do you <ne«u ty -*iio«:u»siug’ bran-. cy and water ?’ ‘Puttin’ laudautim into it,’ replied Sam, Blessed if she did not send *em alt to sleep till 12 hour* after the election was over. They took one man up in a truck, fa«c asleep, byway of experiment bat it waq no—mey would’t pod him, sottliey brought him back, and pul to bed again? ‘Strange practices, these? said Air Pick wick.—Memoirs of the Rsckwick Club, A poor tailor being released from a troublesome world and a scolding wife, went to the gale of Paradise. Peter asked him if he had ever been in purgatory? “No” said the tailor, “ bui I have been married." Oh ! says Peter, that i» all tlie same. Th* tailor had scarcly got in, before a fat tur tle-eating aiderman came puffing and Mow ing. “ Halloo, you fellow," said he, opea the door. “ Not so fan," said Peter, “ have you been iu purgatory ?” “No }” said the alderman, “ but what is that to th* purpose ?you let in that poor, half s.arved tailor, and he had no more been in purga tory than I." “ But he has been married, ’* said Peter. “ Married,” exclaimed the al derman —“ Why I’ve been married twice." —“ Then pray go back again,” said Pe ter, *• Paradise is -not tlie place for fools." An odd sort of genius having stopped iu • mill, was locking with apparent astonishment at the rotary movement* ui tho machinery, whea the miller, thinking to quiz him, asked him if he had heard the news! “ Not a* 1 know on," said Jonathan, “ what is it.” •‘ Why,” replied the miller* “ they say the d—l is dead.” “By jings I" he exclaimed, “is he I Who tends the null, then t” A Wonderful Jump some half a score of years agone, in on ol the northern cot ntie! in this State, a wonderful feat of jumping was ptrfoimed. It was on < nasion of rais ing, when there was con i.ierable geather ing nf the hardy sons of tlie forest; and ns well usual in those times and in that, coun try the bottle circulated pretty freely, until all hands were fu I of glee and ripe for spot I. After the labor was over, they amused them selves by trying th ir skill in gymnastic feats j when one fellow, wound up to acem« of eii.hiatit n, often <1 io bet that he would ijuii p .r.itn tl e top of tlieuewlp-raised < d flee to tue ground. He was in.med a ely t ken up; and he prncieded to the highest point of the fraim and h apt forth | bnt when he hail ch tended about, and fi hi ftil of bruis ing his left he turned about and jam ped. back agdin— and so lu»t his bet; ’I [Cbastvili* (Pa;) AdrerCser’.