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She PUBLISHED EVERY THURSDAY MORNING. WM. BRADFORD, Editor. TEEMS OF SUBSCRIPTION: 1 Copy one year - - $1 00 - .50 10.00 TERMS—Cash In Advance. Address, ADVERTISER PUBLISHING CO.. Cedartown, Ga. Cedartown Advertiser. OLD SERIES—YOL. YI. NO. 7. CEDARTOWN, GA., MAY 1, 1879. NEW SERIES-VOL. I. NO. 20. She ^dwrtiscr. ADVERTISING RATES. l inch Sincies-.. 3 inches.... ^column... 3 in. 6 m. I y. 3U*‘I 7 SO 350 1000 5 (H 15 00 7 50;# IX>CAL NOTICES—Ten cents per line lor one Insertion. For two or more insertions, five cen s per line each ltse/tiou. OBITUARY NOTICES—Charged at hall rates. THS’ ENGAGEMENT RING I give the back the ring thou gav’st With words of love so fondly said. An J vows which in a trusting heart Awakened hopes now crushed and dead. I deemed thee noble, kind, and true. With honest heart as pure as gold ; But I have found 'twas not thyself— 1 loved a man of fajtct's mould! Take back thy gift: ’tis now to me A worthless, desecrated thing ! Since I hare learned the faithlee.-neea Of him who gave the jeweled ring. Yes take it hack! I scorn to weer This emblem of thy vain deceit! I hate, despise, and lothe it 1 See I fling the bauble at thy feet. re given it back, and every tie That ever hound my heart to thee > severed. Yes, with joy I find Thy chains from ell my soul—I’m f Boarding-301133 Expariences in Washington. At an early age, owing to the force of circumstances and the pursuit of knowledge, I became an inmate of one of those numer ous mansions which form the connecting link between a hotel and a private residence, yet which generally possess neither the comfort of the latter, nor the independence of the former, stylo of living. The personal appearance of professional boarding-house keepers is usually one of two sorts; the commonest being lean and angu lar, with a decidedly vinegarish expression of countenance; the face, ornamented with a long and dangerously sharp nose, and oftimes a pair of spectacles. A faded black dress is tho usual uniform, and, as they are seldom seen in any other, one becomes im pressed with the idea, that they never take it off, and that, if they ever leave this world, they will die and be buried in it. A mourn ful expression of countenance is often as sumed, which takes well with innocent young men of a serious turn of mind, as well as with sedate elderly gentlemen; their scale of prices likewise rise, as their eyes an_ conversation ascend heavenward. The second variety is exactly the reverse of this, being moro like a female edition of the bygono “Boniface.” A fair, fat and forty matron ; in general, a good provider, and kind, withal; us good nature and cn- bonpoint usually go together. To be sure, berjfdress is not aiwavs of the cleanest, and her breath douytless smells of oinions; but, ten to one, she is a motherlj' old soul, and will care for you if you arc ill without a thought as to your ability to pay her while out of work. On the whole, therefore, it is generally safe (in those respects) to choose a fat landlady. These varieties do not refer, of course, to fashionable houses, but to the middle, and by far the largest class, patronized by single men of ordinary means. When a small lad I was scut to a cele brated school, a long distance from the city in which my parents resided, and domiciled at the house of a Mrs. McVickar, whose sign, as hard and rusty looking as herself, gave notice to tho passing public that pro viding for the temporal needs of singlo gen- tlemen, was her present occupation. Mrs. McVickar was the relict of a cler gyman of the place, and consequently stood high in position, according to rural courtesy; she thus obtained like many another in higher walks of life, respect, not on her own account, but through the merits of the dead. Sho was stern, uncompromising, and childless, possessing through life pro bably little of the milk of human kindness. During the three years passed with the widow of the unfortunate McVickar, I was so often reminded of the worthlessness of children, that I wondered what they were made for, or why they were not born already “grown up,” like our first parents. Their gormandizing habits were ever being com mented on in my hearing, and, though talked at for eating so much, I was still forbidden to leave anything on my plate. I failed to see the justice of treating one boarder, whose bills were regularly paid, differently from an other, simply because he measured a foot or so less in height. The others were not obliged to eat fat; they could ask for food a second time, and were helped to dessert; these privileges were either denied me, or else so disagreeably bestowed as to make them scarcely desira ble. Being thus kept on short commons, my notions concerning the difference of meum ami tcum lvecame somewhat weak ened, as my occasional visits to unguarded cupboards and fruit orchards could testify. My visits home being but semi-yearly, my Sundays were likewise spent with tllis grim guardian, who thus hail charge of my spiritual as well as my temporal welfare, she being doubtless possessed of some un known qualities which made her equally a fit director for the souls as for the stomachs of young persons. She was a strict t’alvan- ist, a firm believer in predestination, and her religion too sacred an article to be used on ordinary occasions; was consequently kept carefully bottled up during the week, to be opened on Sundays, when it over flowed like a bottle of root-beer when the oork is drawn. Those were days of mar tyrdom for me, longer by far than the longest day at school, as, after attending “meeting” in the morning, preceded by catechism, I was forced to remain perched on a chair by far too high for me, with a bible or some good book wherein the fate of some sinful youth who, like myself, pos sessed a fondness for green apples, and hav ing no fear of God or a Mrs. McVickar before bis eyes, procured sonic of the for bidden fruit from a neighbors orchard, and broke his neck and the Sabbath at the same time. On the other side was set forth the example of a model chap, who ate what was set before him, and made no remarks if the meat was all fat, or the hash had a hair in it; who never asked to be helped twice, but who piously insisted on going to church in a snow-storm, took cold, and became an angel the following week. It was hard for mo to discover the advan tages of the latter over the former ; % the first evidently had the best time on earth, and by my lanilhindy's creed, the future was al ready decided. I soon learned to amuse myself by making puzzles out of the long words on my book, and became quite pro ficient in constructing anagrams, while my grim guardian nodded over her bible, think ing me pierusing for the twentieth time the affecting tract of the “Pairyman'y Daugh ter. ” During my college days, my Alma Mater proved another Mrs. McVicker ns far as bodily food was concerned. Indeed, most of the practical effusions addressed to the old dame by her children should be received with several grains of salt: the said mater being often a mere stepmother, and a sorry one at that. The students were mostly affected with a mania for large and loose coats strangely run to pockets, in which were smuggled articles of diet at illegal hours. Anything that required no cooking was eagerly sought for; sardines, cauued fruits, oysters, lob sters, etc. Such diet was also supposed to contain a large proportion of brain nourish ment and consequently the thing. Crack ers and cheese were also in demand, and & huge sheep-bound tome (at least it had the appearance of one) supplied us with an an tidote in case our feasts disagreed with our nternal economy As I think of nese scat*. iims, can see *n my mind’s eye the long and cheerless re fectory, filled with hungry youths. From what I hear the diet has not improved, and the same roast for Sunday’s, with vegeta bles and rice pudding, is still in order. Monday’s table as bare as a wash-day din ner in a poor family and a “square meal” not given till Friday, which day was de voted to the finny tribe. Saturday, a din ner of all sorts, a rehash of the week, en abling one to appreciate by contrast the plain but substantial fare the following day. On going into the world, 11 warded among other places at the home of a widow who rejoiced in tne appropriate name of Stintem. “Terms invariably in advance. No ladies, children or dogs admitted.” That is, only unprotected single gentlemen were taken in and done for at this model establishment. Mrs. Stintem, like Lady Macbeth, pre served her dignity and presence of mind on all occasions, and under the most trying circumstances. She wore astonishing caps, and her “make-up” was apparently copied from some long-forgotten fashion in the Ladies Book.” Her dignity, as I have before stated, was profound, and of such a practical nature, that few of her five-and- twenty boarders would have dared to utter a remonstrance, had their meals failed to appear for a week. A look was generally enough to awe the most rebellious to silence. Her table was bountifully supplied with j linen, glass and silver ware. We were waited on by sable male attendants, arrayed in spotless white, while the food (what there was of itj was cooked in the most approved style, and served up, hotel fash ion on tiny dishes, so that each boarder's plate resembled an old hen with a brood of chickens around her. Notwithstanding the increased outlay in crockery, it was an economical arrangement, for so little was served in the dishes that the Iwarders arose from the table with the assurance of having followed Franklin's advice, and left the he culprit, I said nothing, but procured a patent lock in place of the common affair already on the door, and chuckled to myself over the disappointment Bridget would ex perience should she again attempt to take a of Women in After nearly breaking my neck in the unfamiliar regions of the back yard I found some undrinkable water, thence to a neigh boring restaurant where I procurred a more refreshing beverage and sat reading the papers till bed-time. The next day I politely stated the facts to my host, supposing that there was some mistake, but, to my surprise, was brusquely informed that if his house did not suit, I could leave. “Ilis was a quiet Christian home. I had my room to sit in like the others. He fed and lodged his guests, and table with an appetite. We could not well told - merely took a few boarders “for com complain of lack of food ; the pile of platos emptied by us would seem to give the lie to such an assertion. My next landlady was noted for having soothed the dying pillow of three husbands, and was supposed to lie anxiously waiting a f Hymen’s torch to enkindle the flame for fourth sacrifice to her charms. Her worldly estate not having increased with her providers, she was forced to resort to the method of earning a living so often re sorted to by ladies in dilHculties. I had dexterously managed to procure a seat next to hers at the table, as past ex perience bus taught me the advantage of this position ; a little attention towards the presiding genius of the house, who rules her fellow creatures through the medium of their stomachs, goes a great ways in these modern caravansaries. The bread I thus cast upon the waters, was returned to me in the shape of hot cakes and tea of undi luted strength whenever I was late at my meals, a favor not accorded to many under such circumstances. But I fell into disgrace at last. My mat tress feeling unusually hard even for £ l)oarding house article, I examined it, and, by the aid of my penknife, removed several good sized oom cobs, which the upholsterc had not deemed necessary' to remove. For this wanton destruction of property, I lost my post of honor and its privileges, and, shortly after found another home. I kept one of the cobs however, converting it into a pipe, w’liich I smoked in memory of injured landlady. After some months, dnring which tune I had experienced a few changes, I found myself partaking ot my daily bread at the house of a Mrs. Wand. It wasby no means a first-class establishment; I was not pre pared to seek the best, yet the change was for the better, from the elegant starvation at Mrs. Stintem’s to the excessive prodigal ity at Mrs. B's. There was plenty of food, coarse, hut clean, linen, fat cooking ami a fat landlady. Everything seemed to run to fatness, the favorite method of cooking being “frying,” piles of l>eef cut in slices the thickness of paste board were set swimming in a sea of melted lard, where they were cooked to a toughness that would have disgusted an os trich. This formed the basis of even* meal, and they were so nearly alike that hut for the time of day I could not have told whether it was supper, dinner or breakfast I was eating. My excessive delicacy caused me to leave the house of this worthy lady. One day at dinner desiring a fork to assist myself to a piece of the above mentioned delicacy, my landlady, with the air of a dutchess, after removing the superfluous gravy from hers by means of her lips, presented it to me; and on assuring her that I could not think of depriving her of so useful an instrument would have forced me to accept it had I not sought refuge by flight My next trial proved successful as far as table accommodations were concerned, and, had I fareil as well by night as by day, all would have been well; as it was, I was so afflicted by those little pests which natural ists (with their fondness for long names) style Cimcx lectularius, that I nightly dreamed of “Saint Lawrence and his grid iron.” After being phlebotomized as long my constitution would bear it, I engaged lx>ard at the house of an Irish tailor for a few weeks or until such time as a room I had engaged could l>e made ready for me. Michael Dennison lived pretty well when trade was good, or, to use liis own technical phrase, when the “goose was hot and cab bage plenty. ” But the goose often hung high and cold in the shop, ami as that use ful bird went up, the fare came down. It was a change, however, and the cooking was passable with the exception of the cof fee and tea; but as my host was a great lover of malt liquors, 1 made up in good ale what I lost in more temperate beverages. Michael was generally “half seas over” by bed time, w’hen trade was good; and at such times became unusually pious and would insist on whispering spiritual conso- ation intol niv ear which was anything but agreeable. Owing to sickness in his family I left my comical host, with more regret than I had left more pretentious places, and took fur nished appartments in a “genteel family” rbo kept no boarders, procuring meals at restaurants. Having added a few articles of furniture, my room room soon had a very comfortable appearance. To be sure, there rcre some little troubles, at first, but I soon corrected them. For instance, the soap, after the manner of the lodging-house article had a tendency to slip through mv hands as if resenting such familiarity; at last it slipped out of the window, where I left it, and procured some of another kind. The bureau-drawers also had a decided objection to closing, and, when closed, to open again without endangering the whole structure: but a little patience and sweet oil soon remedied this difficulty also. But, alas! there was a closet in my room and it is said that eveiy closet contains a skeleton ; the key of mine I carried in my pocket, as I kept several valuables, as well as refreshments therein. I was, therefor, surprised to find, one evening that some unknown party had abstracted a half bottle of choice liquor from it Suspecting that one of the servante was The Golden Rule: “Do ye unto drink at my expense.” I others as ye would that others should A week after I was surprised by a similar ! do unto you,” often shortened to the visit; none of the solids had been disturbed homely phrase : “Do as you would be but some wine was missing. | done bv.” displays in great Drominenee • wkT? ! ,e .. a T ™, nnin ?.'! enCb Wb0 C * n r 1 ‘he fact in human nature,'that what- pick that lock,” I thought to myself. “I . must interview the lass.” j ever we ref l mre we are under certain I did so, but could detect nothing sus- obligations to supply. Continual ask- picious by the mo9t careful cross-question-; ing, with a total absence of giving, ing. j forms that “one sided” system drolly Eveiy day something of the kind was sa id to be “like the handle of a jt&.” taken; I made sure of the fact by marking i and it doe9 uot neo the wis<lom of a Sol _ IheirTontenU a “ d "" he ' b ' ht ° f oraon to understand that any such sys- I felt piqued. I did not begrudge fur-! te “‘- ho " -ver well it may work for a nishing my unknown guest with refresh-; must eventually fall into disfavor ments so much as being outwitted; so, to and failure. let the thief know I was aware of their These suggestions which may seem depredations, I arranged a trap so that in to nmnv ¥1 . ry trite bave t i leiror i S in in opening the door a board would fall and .. , . ... break a glass | a act of considerable importance—none Robinson Crusoe was no more astonished lbu ^ ess important , probably, because at beholding the foot-prints in the sand, very many do not recognize it, &v.d than I wa3, when, on my return and spring- still others who do recognize it blindly, ing my own trap, I discovered that the fail to understand-the whole omen in- best part of a bottle of Concord wine had volved. The women of Ameiica are » apiDropriafed by my mysterious visitor. | dl ,ally it is to be feared, plac.ng “The deuce,” I ejaculated. “Hiere f. , . . , . . 1 ® must lie thirsty ghosts in the house.” | l * ,emse ^ ves In a ba * se P os,l, on. If they While gazing in astonishment at my 11 Like heed to their steps, tlicy emptied bottles: I noticed a crack in the raa 7 emerge with a loss of what to wall between the shelves, the figure of the them is very dear and indeed (in their paper with which it was covered having dea) indispensable. Because we do not bid it before. I examined it more closely, wisIl them to work blindly wheil Ule and found the back of the closet to be a ... . wooden partition and that a small window, i > 3 s ° <^'>3' *>'ppl<cd, and became such as are often found in china closets, had we ' lo no ‘ wish the very loveliest body formerly existed, and probably coramuni- of women on earth to place themselves cated with the adjoining room. I after- too declaredly in a false position from wards found that my visitor was no less a which thev can only retreat with Io«s, person than my landlord, who had an un- fec , ,j' ke j a few words, in- fortunate fondness for strong waters. ‘ ,, , 7. , . , Disapproving ol such a romantic style of Le " ,U ' d enl,reIj ' for thelr be,ll ' flt - communication with my bed-room, 1 soon We have said that they are “the y°jy left the house and was recommended to loveliest body of women on earth”— that of one Deacon Happy, who, I was the women of America. (We do not , „ .. , . use the hackueved fashionable word, pany s sake, as lus family consisted but of , ... _ „ , * , . , , ,, ‘ J •, „ ir „ i ... - , . “ladles, 7 because we consider that the himself and wife. ( ailing to make inquir-1 . ies, I found the family at dinner, and, de- I otner at once conve . vs am * covers so spite my protestations I was forced to m »ich more.) There can be no doubt remain and partake, that I might know of the justice of the claim here made what sort of fare to expect should I become for them. As a body, anil an average, “their guest. ’ I found it so good that the women of America, all classes be- before the dessert was brought in I W inJ conaidered,are not only in a,Ivan, c decided to muke one of their festive board; ,, . . . r .. and, the terms being agreed on, I arranged " ‘heir sisters of any other nation on to send my things the next day, my host '' ,e but tIie Y are actually beyond assuring me that I would have the “com-! l * ie ran £ e of comparison. Certain forts of a Christian family,” and that he classes in some of the European coun left not a stone unturned to render liis j tries, may claim to have very nearly boarders pleased and contented. He dwelt, tho game standard of attractiveness; eonsiderabiy on tins point, seeming to con-1 but t0 ( . cr taln classes onlv can the aider it his dutv as u deacon, to keep young ! , • , . men by these means from the temptations ' clim " , any hope of sue- they might otherwise be exposed to; anil I ce8s * * le daughters oi the aristocracy fondly imagined that I hail at last found the j England, with nurture of the ni£>t lt nr. plus ultra'' of boarding houses. j careful, health-preserving opportuni- I moved there the next day, and, having ties of the most enviable, and all the gone out after dinner, returned, tired and surroundings of life that can be con- overheated from a long walk; being about; , idered , ls advantages, certainly pi t- to enter the parlor, 1 perceived that the i , , N . folding doors Stood open and that the hack -° m ’ " 1 “'“ ^ 111 “' e I urk or ,ho b!,:i room was used as a bed-chamber, bv mv r >OD ‘- a wonderful array of loveliness; host; indeed, his wife was then busiiy en- j bl,t even they could scarcely it aetm gaged in some mystery of the toilette. Re- !' ly, hold rank with a v«sry much low- treating to the dining-room, I found it in - las*; of American women, if the lap darkness aud evidently n<>t 1*- us«-d iih haTthe same advantages of dress ami morning Intercepting the servant who | personal ornamentation ; and their sis- was about leaving the house, I i:.ade known !, , . . , . my wants ' ters * l° WPr down in the scale, cannot “’Deed, sir,” she replied, “de gemmen hc l,amed in t,ie same connection. Old alius sets in dere rooms or on de steps ; ! travelers on the continent of Europe, missus has de parlors to herself.” j say that in one place—the Jardina Co- “But my room is too small and warm, j vi, at Milan, in Italy, the array of and the sun shines hot out on the steps, I loveliness is sometimes bewilderin replied. “Dat’s so, sir; but you kin set here in de J hall; only you mus’nt use tobacco, de ‘dea- A Noted Frontierxman. make the American men, as an a> age, more chivalrous than lie was atj “Do you know to whom Holland refer- the former period. And yet he pays ! red in his character, Belcher, in ‘Seven less respect to unknown womanhood. ° a k* s ? Why? Simply because the American wom an, petted beyond any of her sisters in the other parts of the world, has taken in somothing too much of belief in the goildess ship ascribed to her by her male admirers. It has became some thing of a habit with her, to receive the courtesies extended, as a matter of course. She does not meet those cour tesies with enough of her own, so easily extended, and so valued by any one w ho will take tli trouble to be chivalrous towards her. She takes, somewhat too much as a matter of course, the seat given her in car, stage or public assembly; and she takes i‘ most of the time, without evidencing any appreciation of the fact, that tho gentleman making room for her, or in any other way smoothing her path to one of comfort, makes any sacrifice in »doing. He dees make a sacrifice, very often a sacrifice that he would be very slow to make, except to the representative “No. Do you?” “( ’olonel Sam Colt. Holland and I were school--fellows and friends, always, or I should never have known. ” “How strange!” I exclaimed. I knew some of the other characters; Benedict, for instance. ” “Where did you meet him ?” “On the Cowlitz river, near its junction with the Columbia, Washington territory. He is no less a personage than the lineal descendant of Sir William Wallace, the Scottish chief. “Col. Colt's character I think very fairly represented in Belcher. How about Wal lace’s in Benedict?” “Excepting in his excessive modesty, not at all. I think to-day he is as bashful as school-girl; but no one can make his a< quaintance without being impressed that he is a fitting representative of his famous an cestors—powerful in body and mind, brave and generous.” “Had he a sister?” “Yes, highly educated and possessing all the graces and accomplishments of mind and person that Mrs. Dillingham personi fied, and w-as a wealthy widow at the time referred to. In 1863 I spent some months in Mr. Wallace’s family and learned some of the beautiful sex from whence came ! of his history from tile family and neigl: con won't allow dat. ” “Confound the deacon!” I exclaimed. “Get me a glass of water, and here’s a dime for your trouble.” “Deed I can't, sah; de ice all done melted; dere's a hydrant in de back yard though, l’se in a hurry, I is, to get home. s , Good-evening, sail,” and, so saying, thi8 | aud amusement, are never encumber- home-loving maid of all work, departed. ' “ 1 * * even to an American eye, and that hundred upon hundred of girls and young women may there be seen, each capable of giving a heart-ache to the impressible. But the wisest of these observers take notice, ami make a com ment of the fact, that the Milan, segirls on these occasions of evening resort ed with the concealing if not disfigur ing bonnet that they simply wear the Spanish mantilla, tlirt the Spanish fan, and so enjoy all the advantages tuey may possess in the way of hair and shape of head, in addition to what American girls could show of thebeau- y of eyes, play of feature, and grace fulness of figure. Undoubtedly, the American women are, as an average the handsomest in the world—beyond question, so up to prayed for their spiritual welfare; that was I ^ east middle life and the changes all he engaged to do; but he would rent i consequent upon maternity. Undoubt- me a cooler room for fifteen dollars addi-I ed ly the men of America, as regards tional.” j the treatment of women, are the most “But I cannot afford that, sir, neither can I see to read on the steps after dark.” ‘That is none of my affair; I offer yon the advantages of a Christian *’ “Christian fiddlesticks!” I abruptly re torted. “It is such Christians as you, sir, that send young men to the devil, compel ling them to resort to the streets for company and recreation.” That is-none of my business,” he re peated. “And,” continued this exemplary host, “I will thank you to refrain from using profane language in my presence.’’ “Seeing that you have so much respect for his Satanic majesty, may he send you your next boarder,” I replied, and though late in the day, 1 immediately packed my trunk and took refuge in a hotel where I intend to remain until I give up boarding ;ethcr and have a home of my own. The plague fright at Berlin has recalled the extraordinary precautions taken during the cholera epidemic of 1831. A cord was drawn in front of houses supposed to be infected. The key9 were given to a police agent, who three or four times a day went hat tho inmates wanted. lie then placed what he brought them on a table „ T _ be J?^; notable’falling off in the chivalrous treatment accorded to women uirtniswa by those inales who chanced to be fl ing thivalrous of any other race now liv ing, not only as among the shades of the country, or exceptionally in the South and the Far West, where the ro mantic is supposed to have a more abiding hold than in the Commercial East aud its chief cities. New York, Philadelphia, Boston and the others approaching them In size and import ance. Nowhere else on the earth, are women expected to do so little in the way of earning the bread to be eaten; nowhere else are they considered en titled to so inevitable a “front seat” in • very place of public amusement or mode of conveyance. More than an where else in the world, ill the Amer ica of the closing nineteenth ceqtury, U the lifted hat or he a pole get! a word so common ; nowhere else is the softest half of humanity considered so unim peachably the nobler half, to be guard ed, yielded to and comparatively wor shipped. And yet, the truth must be toli^frtie last ten years, and even more than the last ten, the last five, have witnessed a his mother, his sister, his wife. He may be sixty and gray haired; or he may be thoroughly wearied after a day of iutense toil; and when he leaves his seat in car or coach, or performs any other of the kindly offices due from anhood to womanhood he is very likely to be making a sacrifice, and to do so in the hope, at least, that some kind word, some pleasant smile, or at least a nod of approbation, may reward him for it; and if, year after year, he finds that his kindness is merely receiv ed as a matter of course, he will prove himself quite removed irora the line of ordinary manhood, if he doc9 not cool in his chivalry and resolve to keep what seems to be worth so little to the person accepting it. Women af America! We have clear ly stated our conviction that you are, as a race, the loveliest on earth. We have, later, clearly stated our knowl edge that gradually the males of your race, the most chivalrous on the globe, have tired of paying you the extreme devotion once accorded. Now we state the concluding fact, that thd fault is your own. You hold yourselves too high, even if not higher than your hus bands and lovers held you at the be ginning. Help the men of America to keep their old statutes, by receiving tiieir courtesies with somewhat fewer of the airs of the throned queen, some what more of the grace and graceful words and actions of womanhood. Your treatment cannot be otherwise than good, except under the most un fortunate circumstances; let your con duct deserve that and more, and you *iii be the u*»il the most beautiful.—Oar Second Century. put into a glass full of vinegar, and the agent took it out with a spoon. The paper on which the commissions were written down he took up with pincers. When a sick person was taken to the hospital a police agent preceded the vehicle with a bell, and two soldiers kept every one away from the sick person. Tho doctors wore cloaks and masks of oil-cloth. The skin of dogs and cats being deemed particularly favorable to the dissemination of the dis ease, persons were recommended to kill them, except where they were positively necessary. For months the inhabitants lived in trepidation, and an old lady actu ally banged herself for fear of the cholera reaching her. The precautions gradually became matters for ridicule. —Of the $45,000,000 fractional cur rency issued, there remains outstand ing about $16,000,000 of which amount about 2 000,000 is three anu five cents. It is now estimated that there will ul timately be redeemed onlv $4,000,000 of this $16,000,000, leaving $12,000,000 as a profit to the Government—that amount being los 1- or destro3*ed. Scientijlc people have come to the conclusion that ozone is an energetc poison. into contact with them. The occupied seat is not so frequently given up by the gentleman in car and stag?, as it was five or ten years ago; the effort is not so general a one, to save the lady from having to bear any of the bur thens of travel or society. Some lave blindly recognized the fact; some lave refused to notice it; some have deter minedly denied it, yet the f«ctremains; and the best lovers of womanhood ad mitting it, set themselves to disover what it means. It is not. certainly, that we are is a people, worse mannered than we verc ten oi twenty years ago. Bynoraians. The general tone of manners has ina- teiially bettered. There are moregen- tlerneu in any given circle, than tiere were at either of the times noted. (For eign travel, better education, the pres ence of the better class of foreigners among us, the possession of more wealth and more of the polished Inbits of wealth, all these have combined to Superior Abilitlos-. Now there abideth these things, which every man can do better than any one else: Poke a fire. Put oh his own hat. Edit a newspaper. Tell a story after another man has begun it. Examine a railroad time table. Did you never notice that if you open a railroad guide and begin to look for some particular train, that some of ficious man in the crowd will spring up and lay his great thumb right over the column your train is in, and try to find you the night express on the Chicago, Burlington and Quincy, by roaming up and down a column head- accommodation, ” in the Illinois Central side of the page? And you t bluff him off either. A few days ago, a quiet looking min on the W; bash railroad called the train boy and asked him for a railroad guide for a moment. Then he began to examine the columns, and a very busy-looking man behind him leaned over the seat and said: “What train are you looking for? Where do want to go? I can find it lor you R your not much accustomod to this sort of thing. The stranger thanked him and said » was looking up some of the connec tions of the Wabash Railroad, and he guessed he could find what he wanted. The busy man immediately took hold of the guide and pulled it away from him. You’ll never find it looking that wav,” he said; “now, tell me where you want to go. 1 know hearty all the connections ^f this road. 1 travel over this line twice every sixty days.” After a vain effort to get his guide book, the stranger reluctantly yielded, and the busy man looked down the col umn of “ticket fares*’ and ascertained that the stranger’s train reached Dan ville at $4.76, and then he looked down the column of distances and discovered that the connecting train for Vin- cenues left at 6584. Then he handed the guide back to the stranger, and leaned back in his seat with the air of a Christian, unselfish man, who had at some trouble to himself, of course, set a bewildered wayfarer right. The stranger thanked him quietly and with every appearance of profound grati tude. “Oh,” said the man loftily, “that’s all right; these railroad guides are all Greek to people who aint accustomed to railroading.” By and by the stranger went into the other coach, and the busy man, notict ing the respectful demeanor of the break man as ne passed out, called to the employe and asked: “Who is that man?” “Mr. H. C. Townsend,” said the brakeman, “the general passenger and ticket agent of this road.” And the busy man looked straight out of the car window a long, long time, and every time the train-boy went by shouting “railroad guides!” he turned pale and shuddered. bora. Wallace bail an inventive mind. At the age of eighteen he supposed he had dis covered perpetual motion. He called the proprietor of an eastern machinery depot at midnight to witness his triumph, who, on inspecting his machine, exclaimed: “By Jove, you've got it.” Wallace laughed alxjut his early hunt and said that when any man could hold himself by lifting at his own boot straps that man had a reasonable hope of discovering perpetual motion. “In 1847 he married a beautiful Scotch lass and crossed the continent to Fort Walla Walla, but continued his journey to Oregon just in season to escape the Wheatland mas sacre. He soon took the advantages offered by the government and became one of the few who made the settlement of the Cowlitz river; and soon after became the engineer of the first steamboat ever run on the Columbia river, the Bell. Though exposed at all times to the dangers of a frontier life, he never courted the friendship of the In dians, but, on the contrary, treated them with open, haughty contempt. But a short time previous to the great Indian massacre of ’56 he ordered a chief, who was erecting a wigwam on his ranche, to leave. The Indian obe}*ed, but with threats of speedy revenge on the Boston man. A few day. 1 after he was warned to flee to the block house for safety. He paid no attention to the warning further than to put his own house in order. The great massacre commenced, and the whirlwind of death passed him on either side, but no band of savages dared molest the Boston chief, who, ensconced in his own house on the hank of the river, sur rounded only by his own family, armed with weapons of his own invention—the famous revolver partly perfected—laughed at all their threats. Two miles east of his house abruptly terminate the rich bottom lands of the Columbia and commence the Cascade Mountains, the most inaccessible part of the rocky range. Mount St. Helens looks (down on them shrouded in everlasting snows. From these mountain !atrs, tirars, mountain lions, catamounts and other wild beasts constantly prowl about the fields and pastures of the settlers. Soon after the massacre referred to, while Mr. Wallace was prostrated with rheumatism, he heard a neighbor's hunting dog barking in the edge of the woods not far from his house. ” “Asking his boy, Leander, to carry his rifle he took two canes and hobbled out to where the supposed bear was treed. The moss, which on the Columbia bottoms cov ers trees from limb to limb, prevented his seeing his game till he arrived immediately beneath, when he saw. looking sharply at the dog, a catamount of the largest size. Stepping along a few feet, he took the rifle from his lioy’s hand and turned to the tree. The catamount soon changed its position, presenting a fair mark. He carefully aimed and fired. The catamount sank out of sight in the moss, hut did not fall. Drop ping his rifle and drawing his hunting knife, he turned to his boy and said: “Leander, we shall have a dead catamount or the big gest fight you ever saw in less than a min ute.” He had a dead catamount. 1 might talk all night of his adventures, but think we had better turn in. ” “But the revolver! Did Wallace make anything out of it?” “Not up to ’63. His wife told me he was too diffident to approach Col. Colt on the subject.” “You say this Wallace is the - lineal de scendant of Sir William Wallace, tbe Scot tish chief?” “Yes. While I was there a younger brother came from Massachusetts bringing the escutcheon or patent of nobility, consisted simply of a piece of parchment covered with raised figures representing feats at arms and deeds of justice. The only words legible were, ‘To the name of Wallace’ and the signature of the king. The parchment was yellow with the age of ten centuries, and the words almost hiero glyphics. It was given the family long before Sir William made the family name immortal. This ancient document and the secret of its possession are almost equally well preserved. It was received from the aged father with emotions of awe: and had I not been an inmate of the house at the time I should probably never have known of its existence or of Mr. Wallace’s famous ancestors. A Gambling Family. —The Newark, (N. J.) papers pub lish a listof tax delinquents comprising 5824 names. This list is to be publish ed once a week for six weeks, each pa per receivlngOO for the $20 publication. All of the brothers Fox—Charles, James and Stephen—were desperate gamblers. Charles Fox played admir ably at whist and piquet—with such skill, that at Brooke’s, along about 1772, it was generally admitted he ght have made £4,000 a year, as they calculated, at^those games, if he had confined himself to them. But his misfortune arose from playing pure games of chance, particularly faro. After eating and drinking freely, he sat down at the faro table, and invaria bly rose a loser- Once, and only once, he won about £8,000 in the course of a single evening. Part of the money he paid away to his creditors, and the other he lost almost immediately. Be fore he had attained his thirtieth year he had completely dissipated every thing he commanded or could procure by the most ruinous expedients. Top- ham Beauelerc, who lived much in Fox’s society, affirmed that no man could lorm an idea of the extremities to which hc has been put to raise money after losing his last guinea at the faro table. He was reduced, for several days to such distress, as to bor row money from the club waiters. Tho very chairmen who earned him to Brooks’s he was unable to pay and ment that had fed the flame was long consuued; yet then be occupied house or lodging in St. James street close to Brooke’s and passed at th club almost every hour that was not devoted to the House of Commons. Brooke’s was then the rallying point or rendezvous ot the opposition, where, while laro. whist and supper prolong ed the night, the principal members oi the minority in both houses met to compare their information, or to con cert or mature their measures. Great sums were borrowed of Jews at ex orbltant premiums. Fox called his ante-room, where the Jews waited till he rose, “the Jerusalem Chamber. The ruling passion of Charles was owing to the lax training of his father, who by his lavish allowances fostere Iris propensity for play. According to Chesterfield, the first Lord Holland ‘had no fixed principles in religion or morality.” He gave full swing to Charles in his youth. “Let nothing br done,” said his lordship, “to break hi spirit, the world will do that for him. When his lordship died, in 1774, he left Charles, £154,000 to pay Ins debts, was all signed away and Charles was as deeply pledged as before. Fox once played cards with* Fitzpatrick Brookes’, from ten o’clock at night to six o’clock the next afternoon, a waiter standing by to tell them “whose deal ii was,” they being too sleepy to know Another time, Fox having won and a certain bond creditor presenting hi self for payment, was coolly received ‘impossible sir,” said Fox, “I mus first discharge my debts of honor. The bond creditor remoustrated “Well, sir, give me your bond, was delivered to him, and tearing it to pieces he threw it in the fire. “Now sir,” he said, “my debt to you is a debt of honor,” and he immediately paid the man. Walpole notes that in the debate on the thirty new articles, Feb ruary 6, 1774, Fox did not shine. ‘Nor could it be wondered at; he had sat uf playing at hazzard, at Almack’s, from Tuesday evening the 4th, till 5 in tho afternoon of Wednesday, the 6th. Ar. hour before he had recovered £12,00C which he had lost, and by dinner, which was at 5 o’clock, he had ended by losing £11,000. Ou tho Thursday bespoke in the above debate, went to dinner 11.30 at night: from thence to White’s, where he drank till seven o’clock the next morning; thence to Almack’s, where he won £6.000, and between 3 and 4 o’clock he set out for New Mar ket.” His brother Stephen lost £11,- 000 tho night after, and Charles £10,000 more on the 13tb, so that in the three nights the three brothers, the oldest but twenty-five, lost £32,000. A Greeu Hand-. One of the plumbing establishments of Danbury took a new jour the pther day. He was from a hamlet over In New York State, a little hamlet where ho had w'orked with his father. The day after his arrival there was a burst in the water pipe of a house on Pine street. He was told to go over there and attend to it. Seeing the owner of the house in the shop, he went up to him and got the particulars of the break, and then he made ready his tools and started. Just as he w*as passing out of the door the propietor saw him. “Where are you going?” lie almost screamed. The new man told him. “Do you mean to tell me that you are going up there to fix that pipe without examining it?” he gasped. “Why I am going to look at it when I get there,” said the new man. “Merciful heavens!” ejaculated his employer catching hold of his desk to s ipport himself. “Can it be possible hat you would do a job at one visit? Don’t you know your trade any better than that? Have you no pride in your business? Why you’d ruin the entire community in less than a year.” And the speaker burst into tears. As soon as he grew calmer he ex plained to the new man that lie should first visit the house, make a thorough examination ot the building, get the lay of the street, find the location ol the nearest hydrant, go up to the root of the house, and then return thought fully to the shop for his tools, keep.ug an accurate record of the time. Sh« Licked Him. “Now, Mrs. Roosmyer,” said his Honor, “what do you want a warrant for?** “For a husband so much I know.” “What’s he been doing ? ’ “I licked him.” “You licked him!” “I licked him. Und I got right py dose.” “How do you make that out?” “Ven I told you then you find out. I fix his dinner so he go py his vork. Then he catch his hand pehint, and say he got a pain in his pack. So he lie down on the lounge und groan like he was very pad. Ven he feel better it vas too late to go py his vork, •» o he say he gom to the greek und catch some fish. He don’t goome paca before it was night], und all the fish vac he got vas a meeserable leedle pull-head what you couldn’t gound; put he smell like some petr-barrels more ash d wendy dimes. Und den he say: What for supper aind ready?” I tell him, ‘you sphlitsome of dote fire-wood und I dalk mit you.* Then he catch py his arm and scream : •Oh ! I gat the roomatics!’ ” ‘So you can’d splilit some wood?”! suy. Neln; oli! dose roomaticks! dose roomaticks!’ he kept on frying Then I w&s madder as you dink. Und I say : ‘Ven you told uic you got a bain in your pack, I say noting. Und ouf you got dooble up on acccund you got some of dose roomaticks, I say It vas all righd. Put py golly, #uf you don’t got dose bain in the pack untf dot roomaticks vat don’t goome only ven you got some vork to do, tnen I lick you on sighd.’” Very well, if you licked him what do you want a warrant for?” On account he shall be locked up How a Baby and a Han Had a Circus* Mrs. Oxtobv went shopping, yester day, and left her' baby with Mrs. Ar chibald to be taken care of, and it was sitting on the floor very happy, with playthings galore, when Harry came in. •'Hello, ole gal! made a raise, have you? Phweet! Phweet! Say young fellow, how’s your colic?” The baby made no response of an intelligle char acter, and Utnry sat down and stared at it. •‘Babies is queer things, now aint they? Just see that imbecile tryin’ to chew the potato-masher.—Now he’s takin’ a taste of the stove lifter. That’s a fine old mustache you’ve made across your mug, now ain’t it? Gosh ! hello! here, old woman, quick. The young un’s swallow ed half a yard of the pok er.” Henry rescued the poker, and in do ing so, upset the baby and its temper. The back of its head was bumped, and it howled, and Henry got a thirty-six pound love pat alongside the ear. und the baby was suspended again and the kinks taken out of its temper with a poultice of bread and molasses, so quick that the old man thought he hai got into a humming toy factory. Then Henry let the baby alone and looked at the old woman picking chickens. The baby wanted some of the feathers, and he reached ft a handful, half of which it Immediately spread on the bread aud mulasses. and the rest it struck around its mouth and Smiled through the adornment like a cock-eyed parrot with the delirium tremens, but it look ed dreadful happy. Then it put some feathers in its mouth, and rubbed the bread and molasses over his bald head cooed like a two weeks old wife, and next it turned purple all over and squirmed till its face looked like an old* gum boot that had been eating green persimmons. “I don’t believe this young one likes feathers along with his grub.” said Henry, reflectively, and Mrs. A. turn ed round on him like a volcano that was sick at the stomach. “Oh, you w-r-r-eteh,” and he wasn’t sure whether she hit him on the ear or top of the head, it was done so quick. Then 6he grabbed up the incipient Ox tobv and ran her finger down his throat as though it were a stocking and she wanted to turn it inside out. “There,” she exclaimed, as she held up three feathers and waved them me nacingly before her bosom’s lord, “see what you’ve done! For half nothing at all I’d take’n ram them down your fool throat. Hera, see if von can hold this child a minute without killing it, till J get a towel,” and she plumped the young one on his knee and went up stairs. Ra y cooed and kicked^ and gqt hold of Henry’s finger, iViajHc with great care, and then put it in its uiouth. Then Henry ripped out a sig nal of distress that scared the baby stiff as a telegraph pole. “Quit hollerin’ at that child that way?” shouted Mrs. A. from upstairs. ‘Do you want to scare it to death ?” Scare thunder! It’s me that’s a scarin’. Si ppoee I want my fingers taken off for liver puddin’ and eat by a cannibal baby?” Then he added to the child : “Here, old fellow. I’ll give you something to chew on. Pussv, pussy, pus*,” and he lilted the cat on his lap, the young one Tabbed it’s tail, inserted it in his mouth and shut down on it. The cat wore and spit, and sunk about twenty laws at once into Henry’s leg. O-u-c-h! Bloody murder! Take him off!” and as the agonized man leaped to his feet he shot baby into the coal scuttle and kicked the cat over the stove into the buckwheat cake-batter. He had just opened his nio.itii for a whole-sale swear, when he got a glimpse of Mrs. A. descending upon him like a day of wrath*so he shot out of the front door, forgetting that the landlord had taken the steps away to paint them, and got through falling hen he jammed his bald head against the board fence on the other side of th® street, in a way that made liis skull flop up and down like a loose half sole in the muj. When a neighbor came along and set him up against the fence, his right hand fumbled around his head in a dazed kind of way, and he smiled va cantly up in his friend’s face. Pestered by a Lobster. Among the diver’s troublesome com panions under-sea are some big crusta ceans that occasionally take i£ upon them to meddle with his work and tackling. Mr. Frank Buckland tells how one of these sprawling natives got punished before he knew it. A* diver was searching after an ancient ship load of dollars under the ^ca, off the north coast of Ireland. While hunting among the wreck for the dollars, Mr. Wood had some curious under-water adventures. One of the divers com plained that he was annoyed by a lob ster and couldn’t work. Mr. Wood earned the whereabouts of the lobster and went down after him. He soon discovered Mr. Lobster sitting under a rock, looking as savage as a lobster can look. His feelers were pointed well forward, anil he held out his two great claws wide open in a threatening atti tude. Wood, knowing the habits of lobsters, offered his fellow his crow bar, which he immediately nipped with his claws. Then, watching his oppor tunity, he passed the signal line over the lobsters tail, made it fast, and sig nalled to the men above to “haul away.” This they did, and away went Mr. Lobster, flying up through the water Into the air above, with hiscl^ws still expanded, and as scared as a lob ster coulff be. th®y used to dun him for their arrears. In 1771 h® might be considered an ex-| my bred, py shimmy! tinet volcano, for the pecuniary ali-' dinks?” —At a recent session of the JefTt-rson county. Pa. Court, Judge Jenks threat ened to imprison several attorneys for unnecessary wrangling while cross- examining witnesses. —A monument to the memory of the soldiers of 1812, near Pittsburg has been very much defaced by vandals, und oud the vay >o I put smearcaae on and lt u n0 w proposed to remoTe the Vot you j structure where it will be i.fe from ! aueh attacks.