Newspaper Page Text
Terms: «|>1.50 per annum, in advance.
u ^Published every
^REEM^llSr.
•%v
, OLD SERIES—YOL.
CHARLES E. WEST,
[attorney at Law,
CIDARTOWN, Georgia.
special attention to Collectleo of Claims.
Hal ra la Ledbetter a Goode BBjiaing.
■ £#- l> :■£ *
CEDARTOWN, GA., JANUARY 6, 1881.
NEW SERIES—YOL. III-NO. 4.
C. G. JANES,
>BNBY A-T LAW,
CEDARTOWN, GA.
■ the court House.
febis-iy
3. LIDDELL & SON,
IANS ADD SURGEONS
orry;E cast side or uu si.
L ‘j JKEDARTOWN, GA.
r i*4y
W. G ENGLAND,
ritician "and.” Surgeon.
,_y PEDABTOWN, GA
VICS over J. A. Wynn’s where he may he
® ready to attend cans either day or night.
JpDB. 0. H. HARRIS,
Jf^|«tci»n and Snr (jeon,
town. Ga.
m J. FISHER,
* Watchmaker & Jeweler,
CEDARTOWN, GA. _ . .
z Just opened out a shop at the store of
‘ respectmily requests the
whan needing work in his
ieb5-tt
TURNER,
Horney at Law,
CEDARTOWN, GA.
►ice la the Superior Courts of Polk,
Jlaral on. Floyd and Carroll counties.
I attention given to col.eetion.-i and real
bite business. * marii-iy
£ LEDBETTER,
^DENTIST,
^•CEDARTOWN, - - - GEORGIA.
■ • ‘ JUtTJentaJ work performed In the most shill-
Ml manner. Office over J. S. Stubbs a Co.’s.
febie-iy
BEG. W. STRICKLAND
^ DENTIST, : ’
jScEDARCOWN, - - - Georgia.
iVlngjpjMaaaanently located in Cedartown,
rs bis professional services to the public,
uaranteemg first-class worK and reasonable
octal-iy N
53 H. PRICE7
CEDARTOWN, GA
'Keeps on band and manufactures to order
MATTRESSES!
My work recommends itself wherever used,
and is guaranteed to render the most pe feet
satisfaction. No flimsy mater.nl used, no work
.r ghted. I ask & trftaL JAMES. H. PRICE.
iehl»-ly.
'XS .AC T. MEB,
ipJEDARTOWN, GA.,
—DEALER IN—
iTOYES TINWARE,
Hardvyare and Hollow-Ware,
OF ALL KINDS.
House-Furnishing Goods
■ . . A, SPECIALTY.
_Ly solicit the pai.ronage o
ouid be pleased to have all my
l and see me when in
1. T. MKE
STAR BARBER SHOP.
WEST SIDE MAIN STREET.
- CLEAN TOWELS and plenty of BAY RUM al
ways at hand. Everything neat and systematic
about my shop, and customers promptly and
• politely waited on. Am prepared to
Clean Clothing.
Bring me your worn and faded garments and
have them made to look as good as new. I
guarantee perfect satisfaction in all branches
of mjr-business.
The repairing of Umbrellas a Specialty.
nov85-ly LEWIS BOND
.LIPS & CO.
ROUGH!
icTURER’S AGENTS FOS
llachii^rv •( all Kinds.
sixty-four different rfak^of Steam Engine* and Bollem ranging
from J to 40 horse-powJr—neN and second-hand—all at very low prices.
Also agents for the I
/Albany slid Brown Cotton Gin,
PACKING, SCREWS, SEPARATORS, THRESHERS,"CORN MILLS
and Farming Implements in general," We had a fine, trade in this line,
last year^ and geueral sat sfaction «jaS,jgiyen. We are also * ,
Dealers Uti General Merchandise-
And ha«> in store a well selected - stock of
DRY GOODS, Nf/IONS, BOOTS, SHOES,
HATS, CAPS, CLOTHING AND GROCERIES,
All of which we will sell low, either for each or to prompt paying time caa-
tomers. We are agents f^r GEORGE A CLARK’S
“0. A. T.” Thread,
f
0,000j founds of Wool Wanted.
We will pay highest prices for all the washed wool bronght to us.
Persons contemplating the erection of buildings may save money by
calling on us for prices df LUMBER, LATHS and SHINGLES. Come find
see us.
W. M. PHILLIPS & CO.,
Cedartown, Ga.
Wj|ile passing by the old horse trough
i{heard a hackling hollow cough,
pd, turning, met my neighbor Gough.
Je wind was blowing raw and rough;
t|l I, “Old fellow, rather tough ?”
IViyWi” wheezed he, 'tie tough enough!”
He lisped along perhaps a block,
Then^svid, “Sharp pains afflict my bough ;
Would V^fre by some sunny lough;
■ miM^ng the well-yoked plough, ^
Or restinj-’neath the rustling bough.
Lulled by the gently murmuring sough.
“But vain are all these wishes, though,”
'Quoth he in accents sad and low ;
“Alas, I fear my cake is dough!”
With pain I heard my old friend through,
And when at last we bade adieu
I felt his fears woUd soon prove true.
CauJiL
An J will sell at reta;
sale prices
Ind also will job It to merchants at regular whole-
A, J." YOUNG,
DEALER IN
Corn and Sye Whiskies, Wine, Gins
and Brandies.
CE DARTOWILCa.
Noyes Wa
use - -
NT FOR COX, HILL & THOMPSON'S
X)UNTAIN WHISKIES
Cedartown.
as may be used as a beverage or for medical
safety. E® - Give me a call. Good treatment
mr!8-ly
O M B
rodnee Exchange,
\STREET, ROME, Ga.
,NCH OF THE
^Cotton and Stock Exchange.
CUMMINGS & CO., Managers.
e Principal cotton and Produ^Markets received Dally, quoting
et, vrhieh ar^ree to tlxe public.
Future Transactions In Cotton, Grain and Provisions.
for send for Circular Explaining Method of Dolng^uslness.
■ -x—
KER & HALL,
DEALERS IN
NEhAL HARDWARE,
such: as
-Made Plows, Plow Stocks, Nails, Iron ant
Steel, Spades, Shovels, Does, Bakes,
Manure Forks, Ete.
GGY WHEELS. SHAFTS, POLES AND CIRCLES,
WECEE t-B ARROWS,
AWS, FILES, LOCKS, HINGES, CHAINS, ETC.
e have just opened a Hardware House in
a trial in Goods and Prices. We are
Striictly in the Hardware B
Cedartown, and
pared to furnish goods in 01
t in any*market Give
■ ■ - i 1 > f Ua > , -
There hid been streHflE times ill. the
Roseville Seminary. Two or tbreS''ef-Ul£.
girls in the junior class, and a few in the
senior, had been in open revolt, though the
cause ot this singular behavior was not
generally known among the scholars.
The facts were these: Julia Fessenden,
one of the girls living in town, had given
a birthday party, and a dozen or more of
the students had been invited, and the in
vitation submitted to the faculty.
After a little delay. Prof. MontroBe
called the girls together. They knew
very well what was coming, and if the
truth must be told, there was but one sunny
face among the group, end that belonged
to Kitty Bache.
“Young ladies,” said the professor,
“while I dislike to stand between you and
any apparently rational enjoyment, I shall
be compelled to request you all to return
your regrets to Miss Fessenden. I beg you
to remember that 1 am not only responsible
to your parents and guardians for your in
tellectual improvement, but tor your social
and moral welfare. Miss Fessenden’s
party may or may not be a good place for
the students ot Roseville ; but so long as
there is the slightest fear in my own mind
in regard to the acquaintances you may
form there, the nature of my office compels
me to the course I have mentioned. _1 feel
sure, young ladies, a little reflection will
enable you to appreciate the very delicate
position in which I am placed.”
“Isn’t it shameful?” said Laura Cary to
Kitty, as they filed out of the professor’s
study.
“I thought I should like to go,” replied
Kitty, “but of course the professor knows
best”
“ W ell my father and mother would never
think of saying no if I were at home,”
continued Laura. “The idea of a girl
seventeen years old being tied up in this
style ! We ail ought to have high chairs
and bib-aprons.”
“Yes, and nurses,” said another girl,
“and baby-carriages and blankets, and
blue quilted hoods. Prof. Montrose is an
old stick!”
“That’s just what he is,” said another,
“a perfect fossil. He’s so old he can’t en
joy anything himself, and he thinks no
body else can. I meanTo go, anyhow.”
“I think you might have said something,
Kitty,” put in Carry Dykeman. “If you
had teased a little, and promised that we
should all behave ourselves, I’m sure be
would have consented. He just acted as
if he expected you to speak.”
“I never want anything enough to tease
for it,” replied Kitty, pleasantly. “T felt
a good deal more sorry for him than I did
for myself. 1 know it hurt him to refuse
us.”
“O, pshaw!” exclaimed Laura Cary.
“Prof. Montrose has never granted me one
favor since I have been in this seminary.
It just tickles him to torment us.”
It was on the end of Kitty’s tongue to
say to Mies Laura that if she had received
no kindness from the professor, there could
be but one reason for it; which was because
she had never deserved any. But so many
things that had been on the tip of this little
unruly member had dropped off before
now, and made her trouble, that she de
cided to keep a. tight rein on it now.
Kitty had had a good deal on her mind
lately, and just at this time she doubtless
fell the disappointment much less than she
might have at some other. One of the
town scholars, a young and very lovely
girl, had been taken suddenly and strangely
ilL Her malady was a baffling one, from
the fact of its being wholly of the brain.
This was known only to the mother, the
matron of Roseville, the minister’s wife,
and Kitty Bache. The report once started
that Ethel Lee was crazy, the mother well
knew that were her daughter to live a hun
dred years, she would always be called
crazy by the inhabitants of Roseville.
So this feature of the illness was kept a
secret.
Then there was another reason. Mrs.
Lee was a widow, and possessed of small
means. By great economy, she had been
able to educate her daughter, in the hope
that she might support herself by teaching.
It lacked now only six months of her grad
uation, after which she bad been promised
a good position in the State normal school
This promise had only been secured in
advance to Ethel bythe greatest pains and
influence. believed her daughter
would perma^^^^kecover. ""The doctor
thought she ^^^^Knd Kitty Bache, the
only human fi^^Kwho could calm her
distressing paro^BK, was sure she would.
The matron of Roseville, whose power
jin certain respects was quite equal to the
professor’s, had given . Kitty permission
to go to the Lee’s whenever she was
sent for.
Twice had the kinYfhearted woman sum
moned Kitty from her studies to this er
rand of mercy, ana once, when sent for in
the evening, had escorted her herself.
The days rolled on, and at last the
of Miss Fessenden’s party
Strangely enough, all the excitement in
gard to it had died out; and so e<
pletely 1 ad it passed from Kitty’s mind that
she bad actually forgotten Os date.
This evening, about half-past seven,
Kitty was summoned to the matrin’s room.
There she found Mrs. Coleman, jthe vtoin-
ister’s wife, waiting to take her tol
When Kilty returned to her rooit lot her
things, Catharine Lyndhurst, itr joqm
mate, had stepped out; and she ccalcj leave
no message. Of course Catharine wias not
in her confidence about Ethel, t« (Kitty
had promised not to tell anyone. 1
knew that the girl was ill, and tlfit
visited her, but nothing but the Is
the case would have answered as at
had it been known how much Kin
with her friend.
This evening Ethel was _very
Kitty’s efforts to calm her were
fol for a long time. For mot
hour the brave girl struggled
sane .companion, and not until
alone together was there* the
abatement in the intensity of the
arm from under the burning head, and pre
pare to return to the seminary.
The minister had joined his wife, and
escorted by these kind friends, Kitty
walked slowly home, being very much ex
hausted and frightfully pale.
She lad just bade her companions good
night, and was about to step up on the
porch leading to the servants entrance,
where she was about to admit herself with
the matron's night-key, when a group of
girls rushed around the comer of the house
and ran up the stoop.
They were so disguised by their water
proof capes and hoods that Kitty could
hardly have recognized one of their num
ber. Suddenly it Hashed upon her that
this was the evening ef Miss Fessenden’s
party, and that these girls had attended it.
Then the leader, whom Kitty strongly
suspected was Laura Cary," opened the
door. It was found afterward that they
had bribed the cook and obtained her pass
key. \ ,
As they all crowded into the hall, still as
mice, Kitty bringing up the roar, there
stood Prof. Montrose in the door of his
study, t ie tnKL. light froiifwithin shining
full upi. j 'me girls, and milling each face
perfectly distinguishable! 'As the profes-
thrfcW up kts hand, there they stood,
looking like so many monks in their long
black eloaks.
“Where have you been, Miss Cary?”
inquired the professor, in tones that made
even the bold Laura tremble.
“We have been to Miss Fessenden’s
party,” she replied, after some delibera
tion.
There were seven in this group, and
three of the number were so frightened or
so conscience-stricken, that they began to
cry. Then the professor’s eyes fell upon
Kitty.
‘Miss Bache!” he exclaimed looking
like a man who had been struck, and start
ing forward a step or two, as if to make
sure his eyes had not deceived him.
For a moment Kitty’s self-possession en-
tirelv. deserted her, and she looked the
guiltiest one of the party. She was so
completely tired out that she hadnostrength
left for this trial, and her heart sunk within
her as she found—probablv for the first
time in her life—that she was actually un-
ahle-tp spgak a wprtj.
Site leaned against the door for support.
One of the girls, who saw how pale and
weak she was, took hold of her arm, and
tried to lead her away. She was afraid
she was going to faint, and doubtless
thought Kitty had as good a reason as the
rest of them for desiring to keep her own
counsel. Several times Kitty opened her
lips to speak, but was powerless to articu
late a single sentence. Then the profes
sor spoke again.
“Young ladies, go to your rooms. I
will see to you in the moraine.”
Oh, how sad and grieved his voice
sounded! Then Kitty tried to move along
with the rest; but there seemed to be some
thing right before her all the time—some
thing tail and dark, that would certainly
kifbck her down if she took another step.
How she ever climbed the stairs and
reached her own room she never knew,
but Catharine was aroused from a troubled
dream by something falling on the thresh
old, and when she hastily turned up her
ligjit, there was poor little Kitty in a dead
.'m- in hour or more, Catharine did
tscrytiiing in her pewer tor the ghi’s res
toration, and was just on the point of sum
moning the matron when Kitty recovered
a little.
How can I ever live till morning and
have the professor believe me such a bad
gi. l?” she sobbed.
“bint, Kitty, how wasv^ftasiDle for you
to go oHfwith those girls, anyway?” said
Catharine, sobbing too.
“Et tu, Brutus!” said Butty, raising
herself on her elbow and looking Catha
rine full in the face. “I steal away to a
party!-—// Why, Catharine, you have
broken ray heart!”
“But where have you been, dear?” in
quired her companion, tenderly.
“Ethel Lee was much worse, and Mrs.
Coleman came after me.”
“I wpnder if you can ever forgive me,
Kitty,” said Catharine. “Of course, it
seemed impossible, but when ten o’clock
struck and the monitor came around as
usual, and told me with tear* in. her eyes
that she feared she should be obliged tore-
port you with the rest of the runaways, I
was nearly frantic. She finally promised
me that rke would wait till to-morrow,
and see wliat account you would give of
yourself.”
Then Catharine made a hasty toilet, and
before Kitty knew what she was about,
left the room. Ehe ran down stairs quickly,
determined if she saw a light in the pro
fessor’s study to ask’permission to make an
explaaation:
Thcre was no light there, and Cather
ine concluded that the professor had re
tired.
“He has gone to bed, I suppose,” said
she, on her return, “and we must be pa
tient until morning.”
Tfqere was very little Bleep for either of
the ('iris, but Kitty was able to rise, though
still looking very pale and worn.
After breakfast, she sought the professor’s
study to make an explanation. Three
times she went, but there was no answer
to her timid rap.
Then she went to the matron’s room, and
found her out. Then receiving no sum-
mon’s to the professor’s presence, she
waited until it was time for the geometry
class, and ente
The truants 1
not appear, i
the professor?
his eyes met Kilt]
meat quite undecided
’to the class did
faome time before
When he did, and
seemed for a mo-
wh&t to do. Then
he said, very slowlv, but very distinctly,
the rest of the claw looking on in mute as-
tonishment,— 1
“Miss Bache, how dare you present
yourself in my presence this morning un
announced?”
Kitty’s fingers pressed her tce£ like lit-
you thought it best; but then, God has
made us all with such very different dispo
sitions,—it was no credit to me not to go,
because I prefer to obey. They might
have struggled harder with temptation go
ing than I did staying home.”
Then there was more applause, and the
professor said:
“The class is dismissed. Miss Bache, 1
would like to see you in my study.”
So it came to pass that the seven runa
ways were pretty thoroughly disciplined,
but not one expelled. Three weeks after,
Ethel Lee waa able to resume her work in
school, and no one knew she had ever been
“crazy.”
A Woman Blacksioitb.
At one forge later on, between nine and
ten o'clock, in fact, I discovered a female
nailer working under disadvantages that
might have daunted an anchor smith.
Whether she had a husband whose absence
was accounted for by his being addicted to
beer-shop fogging, or whether she had no
husband, I did not ask her, and she did not
teil me. Anyhow, she w a„ working alone,
and she spoke of having “all these brats” to
provide for, as though the whole responsi
bility rested on her poor narrow shonlders,
the bones of which were so sharp that they
threatened to cut through the flimsy mate
rial that covered them every time she tugged
at the heavy bellows. There were lour
little children, the oldest about seven, the
youngest a baby in “long clothes”—in a
calico bedgown, in fact, and nothing else.
This solitary article of raiment had once
been white, but was now approaching the
complexion of a coal-sack,
The two children who came between the
eldest and the youngest were disporting in
the ashes, and pummelling each other’s
awfully dirty little bodies in a fierce strug
gle for the mangled remains’ of a wooden
doll. There was only its carcass left, and
l:s hair was singed off its head, and the
paint on its face all scorched and blistered;
bnt the two infant nailers could not have
fought for it more furiously bad it been the
choicest prize in Mr. Cremei’s collection.
The other two children—the oldest and the
youngest, the former acting the part of
nurse to the latter—were dt posited in a
kind of wooden cradle that shared with the
bellows the hearth where the fire was. The
baby was shrieking, and the boy was shout
ing out a hymn in a vain endeavor to quiet
it.
One way and another, the mother, poor
soul—she was quite ayoung woman—semed
well-nigh distracted as she banged away at
her work,.bent seemingly on getting some
set task done; the perspiration streamed
down her face as though she was crying.
She stuck to her work, however, and kept
the sparks flying, showers of them be
sprinkled the occupants of the cradle, but
without producing the least effects on those
young salamanders—until a shriller shriek
than hitherto caused the woman to throw
down her hammer and take the child on het
lap as she sat down on the nose of the
anvil.
“Hard workl”
“It is just that, master,” she remarked,
m reply to an observation of mme; "and
often I wish I was in heaven, and out of it
all, ’pon my soul and body, I do; X raley
get so sick of it!”
And as she took the sooty handkerchief
from her head and wiped her wet lace with
it. a mihier form of asseveration would have
satisfied ine of the probability ot ihe^harrgt
suggested being to her advantage. I^?n rn
vam she tried to pacify the squalling child
at her lean bosom.
“Hush, then, and mammy’ll spare a pen
ny for half a pint of beer presently, and
then, perhaps, she’ll tuckle down a bit,”
said the poor soul, as protesting against the
mockery offered it, the little rebel stiffened
itself out and refused either to unbend or
leave off shrieking.
“Haven’t/ got no help in working’em
all? No, master, I’ve got no help. How
much can I earn? Well, its right-down
slavery to earn a penny an hour at it. More
often—especially when this yonng un o’
mme is cross —it isn’t more than nmepence
for the whole day. No; we don’t quite
live on that, sir, I’m ’lowanced two loaves
a week, but it’s nigh on four miles to fetch
’em, so I don’t know, reckoning the loss of
time, that I’m much richer after all I’m
sure 1 don’t know what’s coming to the
work, and the price they’re giving for it.
it’s almost as bad as chain-making.”
“Is that worse than nail-making?”
“For the women it is. Just you go to
Cradley and ask ’em.”
It was too late to follow her advice that
night but I did so next day.
He Guessed Hot.
The Wonders ot Mimicry.
A very striking illustration of the
possibility of mimicry without drollery
was afforded once by the famous Coition,
who may be described as at once the fool
and physician at the Court of one of the
Louis. He actually mimicked the deceased
Minister Villele with such accuracy a ; to
afford the means of painting what has beat
declared to be a wonderfully faithful por
trait. It appeared that after the deara of
the minister his friends were grieved to
find that there were no satisfactory- jaw-
traits of him in existence. Coulton was
present when expression was given to their
regret at the circumstances, and agreed
with them that no likeness of the deceased
statesman represented, as he said, ‘‘the
profound subtlety of his character end his
evanescent expression.” Ashe sp -e he
assumed the features, expression, au. ode,
and tone of voice of the departed mm
with ibe most startling accuracy, am waa
at once requested to sit for a portrait.. Aa
to the features something, we suppose,
must be accredited to the imagination of
the beholders. The artist probably.,
Not long ago two gentlemen were look
ing out of the window of a house on Mar
ket street, San Francisco, observed a cab
bage roll off a market wagon that was pass
ing. Instantly over a dozen well-dressed
and apparently sane persons began yelling
after the wagon as. though the vegetable
bad been a gold watch or a thousand-dol-
lar bill. The tir.ver stopped about half a
square off, looked back at the cabbage,
pawed and drove on.
“What an absurd fuss people in the
street make over trival occurrences,” said
said one of the gentlemen, “Now, I’ll
bet a silk hat that I could get a crowd of
five hundred persons round that cabbage
in side of thirty minutes and yet not leave
thin room. ”
“I’ll take the bet,’’said hia friend,pulling
out his watch. “Are you ready ?”
“Yes; give the word.”
“It is now 11:30. Uol”
The proposer of the wager led his friend
to the window, threw up the sash, and,
taking a cane, pointed eamesliy at the mud-
covered cabbage with a terrific expression.
Freseuily a uack jriver noticed th>e action, sMisSed to ea'tek the'
and begnn to stare at the vegetable from
the curbstone; then a bootblack stopped;
then a billposter, a messengerboy and a
merchant.
“W’hat’a the matter?” inquired a Ger
man, approaching the innocent base of. his
national dish.
“Don’t touch It! Look out there!
Stand back!” shouted the gentleman at
the window. At hia horror-stricken tones
the crowd iell back precipitately and form
ed a dense circle around tne innocent cab
bage. Hundreds came running up, and-
the excitement increased rapidly.
“Look out there!’, frantically screamed
the better, waving his cane. “Take that
dog away, quick!”
Several stones were thrown at a cur
that was sniffing around the cabbage.
“Take care!” said a car driver to a
policeman, who was shouldering his way
through the mass. “It’s an infernal mach
ine, nitro-giycerine—or something.”
Meanwhile the sidewalk was blocked,
the street became impassable, women
screamed and rushed into shops, and a
storekeeper underneath began to tie a
bucket on the end of a JODg pole with
which to pour water on the fiendish inven
tion. The crowd by this time numbering
over one thousand, the two gentlemen
moved away from the window and sat
down. In a lew moments there wes a
hurried tap at the door, and there appeared
a man who had been sent as a delegate
from the mass-meeting outside.
“1 should like to know, gentlemen,”
he said, “what the facta are ?”
“What facts?”
“Why, what there is peculiar about that
cabbage out there?”
“Nothing in the world,” was the soft
reply, “except that it seems to lie surround
ed by about one thousand of the bigest
fools in town. Do any thing else for
you?”
The man reflected a moment, said he
“guessed not,” and retired. I Before he
handed in his report, however Captain
Short’s watch had dispersed tjie mob and
clubbed two hundred and eleven separate
persons for creating a disturbance.
: t-
The Dictionary. ,
.from the
Journeying on Friday,
Conductor William Coulter, of the Penn
sylvania Railroad, has been running on
trains between Jersey City and Philadel
phia for about forty-live years, and he
seems to have twenty years of work in him
yet. Oue of the thousand of travelers that
he knows remarked to him the other day
that his train was lighter than usual. “Oh,
well,” said Conductor Coulter, “it’s Friday
you know.”
“What difference does that make?’ ’ask
ed the passenger.
“Why, there is always a falling off of
travel on Friday. It may seem strange,
but the old superstition that Friday is an
unlucky day to make a journey on, still
keeps many at home on Friday. Any rail
road man will tell you that.”
Captain Dennis, who runs another train
to Philadelphia, Conductor James Fields,
who takes a night train to Washington, and
Conductor Thomas Gallagher who runs to
New Brunswick, are the oldest conductors
on the Pennsylvania Railroad. They all
confirm the veteran Conductor Coulter’s
averment about the falling off in travel on
Friday, and share his opinion that it is
caused by the popular superstition that
Friday is an unlucky day to start on a jour
ney. Superintendent McCrea, of the New
York Division ot the Pennsylvania road,
was disposed to disbelieve the theory of
the old conductors. He thought if there
Several legal lights were waif tiling their
shins around the stove in Judge LaRue’s
ufficsi Lafayette. Indiana, _onl‘ day last
week, and all was quiet as a iiuusC un
Christmas Eve, with the children an
ticipating a visit Irom Santa Claus. The
stillness was finally broken by a gruff dis
ciple of Blackstone, who sententiously
said: “The dictionary, as far as its words
are concerned, has passed into decay and
disuse.”
“How so?” asked all in chorus.
“Why? i’ll tell you why. Society has
become debased, and the speech of its
members is saturated with the slang of the
slums. ”
This remark woke up a young attorney
who prides himself on being a society man,
and he defended himself and his “society”
friends.
“You can say what you like,” continued
the first speaker, “but 1 attended a society
gathering last night, and 1 teil you the
slang used by the young ladies, was just
such as 1 had heard in places where
morality is not, and where plea
sure is the only object. I was in
conversation with Miss ■■ , when up
stepped a giddy creature, who cried out:
‘it wouldn’t work.,’ ‘They tumbled to the
racket,' ‘got on to me,’ and, ‘I had to
cheese it. ’ It seems that slie wanted to
play a joke on some one of the company,
but they had discovered her before sheliad
time to curry out her designs. But I wa i
simply horrified when the young lady with
whom I was conversing upbraided her
friend for her stupidity, in language like
this: ‘Well, I must say you’re a ‘pretty
plum,’ to let them ‘guys’ ‘twig’ our little
‘scheme.’ Why didn’t you ‘douse the
glim’? You just fell right over yourself.’
“Why, gentlemeii, 1 heard more of that
kind of talk iu an hour than I could repeat
in a day, and I my
assertion that the conversation of soci
ety is soaked clear through with ‘slang ot
the slums,’ and the dictionary is obso
lete.”
A. Stranger's Mistake,
A few days ago a western merchant i
wanted to do some sight-seeing and
his fall stock at the same time, enter*
dry g'Kxis jobbing house on Broadw
New York, and accosted the. first ]
met with: “Are you the proprietor her!
“Not exactly the proprietor,’* was ther
ply. “At present 1 am acting as shipn
clerk, but I am cutting my cards fcj
partnership next year by organizing
prayer-meetings in the basement.”
The stranger passed on to a very imjj
ant-looking personage Yl^j.h a diamoq
and asked:
house?”
“Well, nojg
mimic’s face and to rely on hii
interior >>ortraits for the delineation cofea
tures, unless the two men bore a resem
blance to each other to a degree Which
would have robbed the perlormancs of
much of its merit. One of the most re
markable facts about the most skilful of
mimics is that they are able to overcome
the apparently insuperable difficulty pre-
"sented by the endless and radical variety
' of feature, and will give to a face an aspect
and expression which have been character
istic of some visage totally different in
every respect. There cun be do doubt also
that 1 tnis is the real secret of much of the
power of amusing possessed by the mimig.
1 he vagaries of expression, voice, tone,
attiiuue ana utterance, present a constant
serums of striking incongruities. That
winch in one person requires a very keen
observation to catch, ana is not particularly
si. llung when caught, is no sooner donned
by ftome totally dissimilar person than it
becomes ludicrously incongruous and is
found to be irresistibly amusing. There
was) nothing, so iar as we are aware,
specially odds about Chantry, the sculptor,
yet Sir Edwin Landseer once put a dinner
puS/y m a roar of laughter by cleverly per-
suuhting him. The sculptor put Landseer
in liis chair at the head of the tabic, and
weijit himselt and stood by the lire. “Come
yoilng man,” said Landseer, immitatiugto
a nicety the tone and manner of the indi
vidual whose chair he occupied, “you
thinu yourself ornamental; now make
yourself uselul.aud ring the bell.” Land
seer was one of the cleverest ruunics that
ever li?ed. Hi3 simulations were described
as perfect in every particular, displaying
the nicest discrimination in points of char
acter, and the most astonishing accuracy.
The bewilderment of the butler who, on
the occasion just referred to came into the
room and saw his master at the fire-place,
while he heard his master’s voice at the
het.d of the table ordering more wine, was
Very amusing.
■ A Courting in the Olded
‘ Thirty years ago, Michigan 1
a frank and truthful set. tstraJ
come here and trade horses witf
shut, and breach _ ^
unknown.
when they give their ^oni stuck
j^KWSly.thJigjLSaf’s ago this
man appeared in Lansing on business,
same business carried .him over to DeWffSi
eight miles away. While on the way he '
stopped at a log farm house to warm his
cold fingers. He was warmly welcomed
by the pioneer and his wife, both of whom
were well along in years, and after some
general talk, the woman queried: '
“Am 1 right in thinking you are a wid
ower?”
“Yes.”
“Did you come out here to find a wife?”
“Fartly.”
“Did anybody tell you of our Susie?”
“No.”
“Well we’ve got as bouncing a girl of
twenty-two as ever you set eyes on. She’s
good looking, hea.thy and good tempered,
and 1 think she'll like your looks.”
“Where is she?” ”
“Over in the woods, there, chopping
down a coon tree. Shall I blow the horn
for her.”
■No. If yon’li keep an eye on my horse
I’ll find her.”
“Well, there’s nothing stuck up ot af
fected about Susie. She’ll say yes or no
as soon as she looks yon over. If
want her, don’t be afraid to say so.”
Tne stranger heard the sound of her axe
and followed it. He found her just aa the
trees were ready to fall. She wee's stout,
good-looking girl swinging the axe like a
man, and in two minutes ne had decided to
say:
“Susie, I’m a widower from New York
state; I’m thirty-nine years old, have one
child, own a good farm, aud I want a wife..
Will you go back home with me?”
She leaned on the axe and looked at him
for tudf a minute and then replied:
“Can’t say for certain. Just wait till I
:t these coons off my mind.
the eart|),
five coous W-hich
flow. ’
ty?” he asked, aa
kicking.
replv, “and by
DeWitt I’ll
1 up and be
. told the folks
back with
, the twain
' had been
r yet he took
"be State of