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Advertiser. IPubXisTied every TL.nrsd.ay by D. J3. FREEUVC^V^ST. Terms: $1.50 per annum, in. advance. OLD SERIES—YOL. YIII-NO. 6. ' £~" ~~"= CEDARTOWN, GA., MARCH 10, 1881. NEW SERIES—YOL. III-XO. 13. CHARLES E. WEST, Attorney at Law, CSDARTOWN, Georgia. IW~ Special attention to Collection ot Claims. Ofllce op stairs In Ledbetter A Goode Building. • c. G. JANES, ATTORNEY AT LAW, CEDARTOWN', GA. tw Office in the Court House. fehi9-ly DRS. LIDDELL & SON, PHYSICIANS AND SURGEONS OFFICE EAST SIDE OF HAIN ST. CEDARTOWN, GA. JanS-ly W. G. ENGLAND, Physician and. Surgeon- CEDARTOWN, GA. OFFICE over J. A. Wynn’s where he may be found ready to attend cans either day or night. Janl5-ly DR. C. H. HARRIS, Physician and Surgeon, Cedartown, G-a, LIVE FOR SOMETHING. Live for eomething, be not idle— Look about thee for employ; Sit not down to useless dreaming— Labor is the sweetest joy. Folded hands are ever weary, Selfish hearts are never gay, L fe for thee hath many duties— active Le, then, while yen may. scatter bleseings in the pathway ! Gentle words and cheer.ng smiles Bettir are than gold or silver With their grief-creating wiles, A the pleasant sunshine falleth. Ever on the grateful earth, So let sympathy and kindness Gladden well the darkened hearth. Hearts there are oppressed and weary ; Drop the tears of sympathy. Whisper wer Js of hope and comfort, Give, and thy reward shall be Joy unto the soul returning, From this perfect fountain head ; Freely, as thou freely givest, Shall the grateful light be shed. Two Elopements. B. FISHER, Watchmaker & Jeweler, CEDARTOWN, GA. Having lust opened out a shop at the store of a. D. Hogg A co., respecttuily requests the f mbilc to call on him when needing work in his Lne. ieb5-tt W. F. TURNER, Attorney at Law. CEDARTOWN, GA. will practice In the Superior Courts of Polk, Paulding, Haral'On, Floyd and Carroll counties, special attention given to collections and real estate business. marll-iy DR. L. S. LEDBETTER, DENTIST, CEDARTOWN, - - - GEORGIA. All Dental work performed In the most skill ful manner. Office over J. S. Stubbs A Co.’s. feblMy DR- G. W. STRICKLAND DENTIST, CEDARTOWN, - - - Georgia. Having permanently located In Cedartown, offers his professional services to the public, guaranteeing UrsC 1 -eJass'*Wbrk'affd reasonable charges to all patrons. oct2l«iy JAMES H. PRICE, CEDARTOWN, GA. Keeps on hand and manufactures to order MATTRESSES! My work recommends itself wherever used, and Is guaranteed to render the most pe feet satisfaction. No flimsy material used, no work Blighted. I ask a trial. JAMES. H. PRICE. D. H. LEDBETTER, Watchmaker & Jeweler, CEDARTOWN, Ga. All kinds of Repairing of Watches, Clocks and Jewelry done promptly and satisfactorily. Watches, Clocks and Jewelry of all kinds fur nished to order on short notice. I am prepared to do PHOTOGRAPHING IN ALL ITS BRANCHES. My Gallery is fitted up in good style, and I am prepared to tarnish GOOD PICTURES. Give me a call. Gallery up stairs In the Led better & Goode Building. sep9-ly LIVERY, FEED -AND- SALE STABLE! Wright & Johnson, Prop’rs. CEDARTOWN, .... Georgia. Being supplied with new Horses, New Ve- hiolea, &c., we are prepared to meet the wants of the public in our Jans-iy STAR BARBER SHOP. WEST SIDE MAIN STREET. CLEAN TOWELS and plenty of BAY RUM al- ways at hand. Every thing neat and systematic about my shop, and cusomers promptly and politely waited on. Am prepared to Clean Clothing. Bring me your worn and faded garments and have them made to look as good as new. guarantee perfect satisfaction in all branches of my business. The repairing of Umbrellas a Specialty. nov25-ly LEWIS BOND How Watches are Hade It will be apparent to any one who will ex amine a Solid Gold Watch, that aside from the necessary thickness for engraving and polish ing, a large proportion of the precious metal used is needed only to stiffen and hold the en graved portions in place, and supply the neces sary solidity and strength. The surplus gold Is actually needless so far as utility and beauty are concerned. In JAMES BOSS’ PATENT GOLD WATCH CASES, this waste of precious metal Is overcome, and the same solidity and strength produced at from one-third to one- b alf the usual cost of solid cases. This process is of the most simple nature, as follows: A plate Of nlckle composition metal, especially adapted to the purpose, has two plates of solid gold sol dered one on each side. The three aj e then passed between polished stegl rollers, and the result is a strip of heavy plated coinpo Ition from which the cases, backs, centres, bevels 4c.. are cut and shaped by suitable dies and formers. The gold in these cases Is sufficiently thick to admit of all klnd3 of chasing, engrav ing and enamelling; the eDgravcd cases have been carried until worn perfectly smooth by time and use without removing the gold. tfklS IS THE ONLY CASE MADE WITH TWO PLATES OF SOLID GOLD, AND WAR RANTED BY SPECIAL CERTIFICATE. For sale by all Jewelers. Ask for Illustrated Catalogue, and to see warrant. novis-iy In a large, square,old-fashioned Louse— such as our fathers used to build when 90- lidity was more sought after than utility— lived Phikp Mason and liis sister Esther. Philip had reached the mature age of 40, and Esther was close to him. Still, each had pursued a solitary pathway through life, seeking no companionship save that of the other till there was reason to believe that they would continue to follow the same course till m the fulness of time they were gathered into the family tomb—the recep tacle of many generations of the .Mason family. There was more reason to think so, since they took care to commend an unmarried life, not only by example but by precept. “No,” said Philip, when assailed on this subject by a match-making lady; “marry ing may be very good for some people, but I could not bear to have my habits broken in upon, and my whole house turned top sy-turvy by the introduction of a wife!” “Hut by-and-by, when yon grow older, you will feel the need of a wile, more than at present.” “No,” said Philip, conclusively, “I have a sister who is devoied to me, and while she lives 1 shall need no other. ” As for Miss Esther, she often declared that she would never make a slave of her self for any mau living. If other wumen were foolish enough to give up their inde pendence, and tie themselves to a man, for no other earthly purpose than to burden themselves with cures and toils from morn- ing till night, she was sure she had no ob jection. For her own part she was wiser. Her brother and she had always lived to gether peaceably and happily, and she did not think she could make any change for the better. Of course, it was insinuated by those whose opinion differed widely from Miss Esther’s that in adopting this opinion she was only making a virtue of necessity, and thflj it wasted, tp be,contented with one’s lot, provided there were 5o chance of im proving it. Bat Esther did not hear these remarks, and so was not disturbed by them. She continued to live in the old house with her brother. They kept no domestic, since Esther rather plumed herself on her house keeping qualities, and there was really but little to do. 60, as her brother was usually absent during the day, she was left lor the most part to the companionship of her own tliougnis, unless some neighbor chanced to call in—a thiDg, by the way, of rather rare occurrence, since most of tne neighbors had large laimlies of their own, which necessa rily counued them at home. Early one afternoon just after Esther Mason had completed her task of clearing away the dinner dishes, and storing them away in the cupboard after a thorougu washing, she was sturtied by a rap at the door. ►Somewhat surprised by a caller at this unusual hour, she answered the summons. She was a little apprehensive that it was a neighbor who had of late proved very troublesome from her habit of borrowing articles, and owing, it is to be presumed,to j a habitual forgetfulness, neglecting to re- irn them. I hope,” she mused, “that if it is Mrs. Bailey,sue will be wanting to borrow some thing mat I have not got.” She opened Che door; but no Mrs. Bailey presented herself to her expecting gaze—a gentleman of forty-live, carefully, nay ele gantly dressed, stood before her. “1 beg your pardon for intruding, ma- dame,” said he, as he noticed Esthers look ot surprise; “but can you direct me to the house of the late Mr. W ell fleet? I have heard it was for saie, and from the description 1 have heard of it, judge it will suit me.” Tt is the next house on the left, sir,” answered Esther, who had had time, while the gentleman was speaking, to examine his appearance, whidh did ^not fail to impress her favorably. Thank you for the information. I trust you will pardon me for the trouble I have occasioned you,” replied the gentleman, bowing. “Not the least trouble in the world,” re plied Esther, a little fluttered. by a defer ence to which she had not been accustom ed. Two days afterward Esther heard that Mr. Welllleet’s estate had been purchased by a stranger named Bigelow. She at once conjectured, and rightly, that this was her visitor. A few daj s elapsed, and Esther Mason received another visit from the gen tleman. I bave a favor to ask of you, Miss Ma son,” he began (it seems he had ascertained her name). “1 am aware that our slight acquaintance will hardly justify it, but I trust time will remove this objection. You must know,” he added, smiling “that I am a bachelor, dependent in many respects upon ruy housekeeper, who though a good wom- her way, 1 am afraid is not reliable in matters of taste. As my furniture has ar rived, but has not yet been arranged, I would esteem it a real service if you would give me your opinion in some litue matters respecting its proper disposition. Mv car riage is at the door ready to carry you over. ’’ “But,” said Esther, a little hesitatingly, “I do not claim to have much taste. I fear I shall prove no more reliable in that re spect than your housekeeper.” “I have but to look around me, ” said Mr. Bigelow, politely, “to be fully satis fied upon that poiut.” Esther’s cheek flushed with pleasure at this compliment, ,and she made preparations to comply with lier new visitor’s request. it was nofwithout a little consciousness of the singularity of her position that Es ther found herseit riding by the side of a gentleman with whom sue had scarcely ex changed half a dozen words in the course of her life.—The distance, however, was but short, and she had little time for reflec tion. On arriving at her place of destina tion she found the chief part of the busi ness accomplished. The furniture, which, by the way, was new and handsome, had been arranged in the room after a fashion, but Esther was able to point out several changes for the better, with all of which Air. Bigelowfpro fessed himself delighted; he, moreover, asked her advice as to the proper place in which to bang several fine pictures that he had picked up in the course of his European travels. Tnis was accorded with some hesitation. Mr. Bigelow would not be satisfied with out showing his new found acquaintance all over the house, from kitchen to garret. When all was completad he overpowered h r with protestations of gratitude for her kind service, and landed her at her own door just live minutes belore her brother came in. Esther was rather glad of this, as she was a little suspicious that her broth er would consider her adventure rather a Quixotic one. To avoid comment, she did not even in form .Philip that sue had ever met Mr. Big elow. He took frequent opportunities to call upon her, on some slight pretext or another, but it always chanced to be when her brother was absent. “I wonder, 1 ' said Philip, jjarelessly, as he sat by the fire a one evening, “whether Mr. Bigelow will not be looking out for a wue before long?” “1 don't knew,” said Esther, and in her embairassment dropping half a dozen stitches irorn the stocking she held in her hand. “Not that I approve of marriage least in my k own case,” said Bnilip, not noticing this demonstration, “but it may be different with Mr. Bigelow. He hits no sis ter to superintend his establishment. I don’t know, however,whether there is any body likely to suit him in this village. Let me see—there is Miss Breston; she might do.” “No, I don’t think she would suit him at all,” said Esther with a spirit which con siderably surprised her brother. “She knows very little about housekeeping “Why, 1 thought you and Miss Breston were friends,” said Bhiiip, a little puzzled. “Well, so we are,” returned Esther in her usual tone; but I—I hardly think would suit Mr. Bigelow.” “Berhaps not,” ne rejoined, and so the conversation ended. From the conversation which we have recorded above the reader will obtain some insight into the character of Esther’s feel ings toward Mr. Bigelow. She would hardly confess it to herself; but, as a mat ter of fact, her ideas x ol marriage had suf fered a material change within a brief period. Meanwhile the gentleman continued his visits. Oftentimes he would ask to see the bed of flowers,on which Esther rather prid ed herself, and sometimes he would peti tion for seed, being very fond of flowers, as he said, and very anxious to introduce them in his own garden. On one of these occasions Mr. Bigelow, after a litt.e visible embarrassment, said, hesitatingly: ‘I would like to ask your advice, Miss Esther, on a rather a delicate subject, and one of great importance to myself. There is one tiling I wish to secure to make my establishment complete; but 1 hardly kuow in what manuer to ask for it.” “What is it you refer to? ’ asked Esther, unsuspiciously. Instantly a crimson flushed Esther's cheeks. She did not trust herself to speak. Need I say that you ar? the one whom, of all others, i would^eek to place in that position?” He took her unresisting hand and kissed it with all the gallantry of a young lover. “Bui what will my brother say?” in quired Esther, when she had found voice to speak. “ vYhat should he say? You are your own mistress, surely.” “Yes, but he is always ridiculing the idea of marriage, and I couldn't^venture to tell him. ” “No need of it. Let’s run away to New York and get married. You know,” he added gaily “we are both young and ro mantic, and it would be quite in charac ter.” Esther at first objected, but when she came to consider that in this way she would be relieved of a great ^portion of the ein oarrassment which such a step would nat urally bring with it, she consented, and that day week w r as appointed for the de part ure. She required this time to make preparations. Meanwhile, if Esther had not been so ex clusively occupied with her own affairs, she might have noticed that a change had come over Biulip. He was often absent evenings, mid when at home was more silent and ab oiracled than hi3 wont. The former she leauiiy altributad to the cause which he as signed—namely, a pressure of business, iuu latter she did not observe, her mind ueing preoccupied. We, who are in the occicl, may taKe the liberty, of following him ou one of his business calls. It was a neat co.uge, irflin whose front door dang led an immense knocker, that Bnilip Ma son hunched. Tne door was opened by the same Mias Bresion, who, some months be fore, he thought “might do’’ for Mr. Bige low. “Good evening, Maria,” as he entered. After a brief conversation about the weath er, the crops, and other standard topics, which, however trivial they may seem, couid hardly be dispensed with, he began to show signs of emoarrasament, and final ly ejaculated: “Maria—Miss Prestdu—I mean Maria, what are your opinions about marriage?” “Why,” said she, “I hardly know, don’t think I have given much considera tion to the subject.” “Because,” continued Philip. “I find my opinions have suffered a great change on this point. There was a time when 1 thought it unwise; but now, if 1 could get a good wife, such as you, for example, should be inclined to try it.” “Oh, Mr. Mason ,” said Miss Preston, in some perturbation, “how you talk.” Five minutes afterward Miss Preston had accepted the proposal of Philip, and the two were, to all intents and purposes, en Esther started out for a walk dow/i the street. It so happened that Philip and his wife were at the same moment walking up the street. The natural consequences was* that the two parties met. Heavens! my sister!” exclaimed Philip. •Merciful goodness! my brother!” re turned Esther. What brings you here with Mr. Bige low?” Nay, how happens it that you are here with Miss Preston?” ‘Miss Preston is now my wife!” ‘And Mr. Bigelow is now my husband! ” ‘But 1 thought you were opposed to ^g Q p U t m circulation in this matrimony?” “And I suppose you were equally so.” . “My friends,” interposed Mr. Bigelow, “this is a day of surprises, but I trust .of such a nature that we shall all be made the happier thereby. My regret, Mr. Mason, at robbing you of your housekeeper is quite dissipated by the knowledge that you have so soon supplied her place. ” It gives us pleasure to state that neither Philip nor his sister ever had occasion M* regret the double elopement. Latin lor Bugs. A widow who was going to leave Chi cago, held an auction of her household ef fects, and everything went at prompt sale until little but the bedstead was left. Just before this was put up some of the women went spying around, and discovered that it waa infested by bed-bugs. This fact was noised around until it came to the ears of the auctioneer, who mounted his box and said: “Words cannot express the poignancy of ■my sorrow over the base„canard which has •been put in circulation m this crowd. I have sold goods in this town twenty-nine Jjng years, and this is the first instance in ifhich huge have been permitted to step between me and the purchasing public. .Ladies and gentlemen, if there is a bug in or about that bedsiead 1 want to see him. I cannot and will not believe there is. It would be a slander—a most foul slander on the character of this widow who is about to remove to the State of Ohio.” Being invited to step down and view the j bugs for himself, he made an inspection. They were there. They were galloping —liu and out and up and down, and it was no 7 . _ j use to dispute the fact. At some of the more primitive German j “Ladies and gentlemen, ” said the auc- and Bohemian watering places a quaint oi<j*i tioneer, as he resumed lifs post, “I found Tbe Emancipation of : A Doctor’s Mistake. custom prevails, in virtue of which the resident medical or bath doctors take up their stations every morning at a fixe4 hour, under particular trees, on the leading promenade of their respective Bade-Ort, an that their patients may make sure of find ing them for consultation or advice at & particular time and in a particular plac^.- A good memory for faces is a sine qua non to these sons of HEsculapius, who in the heigdt of the season frequently interview from fifty to sixty invalids apiece duriDg these receptions. Mistakes as to identity. However, will occur, and sometimes result in singularly comical complications. Re cently one of the most popular physicians at a crowded Bade Ort was visited under hi3 tree by an American gentleman, a re cent arrival, who complained that the waters caused him such terrible headaches that he thought he had better drop them and depart to other climes. The doctor unwilling thus promptly to lose his patieht, looked over him hastily and, perceiviiig that he wore a fat sombrero, told him it was not the waters that made his head ache, but his unconscionably heavy hat.” Swiftly the American betook him to the nearest hatter, of whom he purchased a straw fabric so light as to be ali but im ponderable, and went on drinking the waters as before. His headaches, how ever, growing worse instead ot leaving him, he again called upon the medical ad viser a few days later, and told him that his head was still so bad that he really must try some other cure. The doctor, within the meantime had forgotten all about his previous prescriptions, and was as re luctant as ever to let the patient denart, again cast a comprehensive glance at Em, and espying the straw hat, exclaimed: “You cannot expect to be free from headache if you wear such preposterously light head-covering. A man of your age, nearly bald, in this hot weather, must pro tect his head from the sun’s rays, by a stout, solid hat!” ^ The American gazed at his interlocutor for a few seconds in blank astonishment, then, after bowiDg profoundly, he sardoni cally replied: Thank you, doctor; I am off to the railroad station!” turned on lus heel and departed. J. ®osculine possession are you anybody's Latin for them, but they are there. And now iet me talk to you as a friend. Bed bugs were not made for gaudy show, nor were they made for a life of ease, ll is a law of nature that they should inhabit bed steads. They can no more go out under the barn and make a living than a dog can become an eagle and float through space. scarcely irritates the sleeper, but it cleanses and purities the blood. But for the bed bugs of this country we should all hav4 boils and carbuncles. They keep down warts. They cause moles to disappear. Give them a chance and they would remove corns without pain. The great—” Fifty cents?” called an old woman who remembered that she had a remedy at home. •Fifty cents! I am offered fifty cents for a $10 bedstead, and as I was goinj say, the great Napoleou always asked for a bed with bugs in it. I am offered fifty cents and yet Csesar had his bugs. 1 arn- ‘One dollar. ” ‘I am offered one dollar, and yet the poets of Greece immortalized the insects before you. The widow tells me that she has not had an ache or a pain since the first bug made his appearance. How many of you have read what Homer wrote about them? What was the fountain of Mozart’s Twelfth Mass? And yet I “Two dollars.” “And yet I hear only two dollars! Do you have headache? Are you afflicted with giddiness? Do you have roaring, -in the ears?” “Three dollars.” “My friends, let me go home and get my copy of ‘Baradise Lost’ and read to you one short chapter. What did Milton—” “Four dollars.” “Ah 11 began to see that art and culture are not unknown to the audience. Did ie-xanckx tbo Hreat^have -floikk Ncy«i*i Sot one! And why?” “Five dollars!” “I am bid five dollars. 1 would like to quote a verse from a well-known Latin poet, but time presses , and this bedstead is sold for five dollars, cash on the nail.” She looked just like that kind of a woman when she came into the sanctum, and all the seniors became.instinctively very busy and so absorhed m their work that they did not see her, which left the youngest man on the staff an easy prey, for he looked at the visitor with a little natural politeness, and was even soft enough to offer her a chair. You are the editor?” she said, in a deep, bass voice. He tried to say “yes” so she could hear him, while his colleagues in the sanctum couldn’t, but it was a failure, for the woman gave him dead away in a miuute. “You are,” she shouted. “Then listen to me—look at me—what am I?” The foolish youngest man looked at her timidly and ventured to say, in a feeble voice, that she looked to be about ferty- sev— “Nursling.” she shrieked, “had you the soulful eyes ot a free man you could see shining on my brow the rising light of a brighter day.” “Could 1?” asked the youngest man tim idly. “Yes, you could!” the woman said in tones of unmeasurable scorn. “Now hear me; have you a—but I cannot bring myself to use the hateful expression in the style of husband? The youngeci man blushed bitterly and said that he wasn't as yet, but he had some hopes— “And you expect your—tliat is, you ex pect the woman whose husband you wiil be to support you?” The youLgest man blushed more keenly x - im; vuuLiiCBi mau uiubucu iuuic nucui v The aversion among you to this msect .w than bef an(1 tremblingly admitted that founded on false principles. His bife lle had some expectatioMthat-that—that the only daughter of his proposed father- in-law if he might put it that way— “Yah!” snarled the woman—“now let me tell you the day of women’s emancipa tion is at hand. From this time we art free, free, free. You must look for other slaves to bend and cringe before your ma jesties aud wait upon you like slaves. You will feel the change in your affairs since we have burst our chains, and how will you live without the aid of women. Whc makes your shirts now?” she added fierce- iy- The youngest man miserably said that a tailor ou J street made his. “H’m,” said the woman, somewhat dis concerted. “Well, who washes ’em then?” she added triumphantly. “A Chinaman just west of F- street,” the youngest man said, with a liopelul light in his eyes. “Broud worm, who cooks your victu als?” The youngest man said truly that he didn’t know the name of the cook at his restaurant, but he was a man about forty years old, and round us a barrel with whiskers like the stuffing of a sofa. The woman looked as though she was gbiug to strike him. “Well,” she said, as one who was lead ing a forlorn hope, “who makes up your bed and takes care of your room?” The youngest man replied with an air of truth and frankness that he roomed with a railroad conductor and an ex-Bullman The Studio of a Taxidermist. In the window was perched a large brown eagle, with an unlucky little bird in its strong, sharp claws. “That eagle was shot in EnglewoGd, about five weeks ago,” said the proprietor. “His extended wing? measure over six feet.” Near the eagle a gray owl stare d out into the street, as if he had forgotten his natural dislike to day light. He held a mouse in his thin, hooked taloons. Suspended back of Jhese was a bat, with wings extended, over twelve inches. Some wild ducks, which had been just received for stuffing, lay with their glossy green and black plumage carefully .aJnoothed down. The skins of some ducks and other birds lay around iu various stages of preparation. The reporter gave a start as he nearly stepped on a little white Spitz dog, curled on a mat near the door; but he, like his companion, was only life-like, and past all “delight to bark and bite.” Several glass cases were rang, d about the room, and contained hundreds of birds of almost as many different species. Some were glistening in sheeny plumage of green, red and gold, with the shifting brilliancy of “changeable” silk. Others were quietly dressed little songsters. Some gray squir rels sat up on a show-case, as pert as if in their native woods. Here, too, w T ere snowy-feathered geese, and effigies of pet canaries. Several heads of deers with their antlers on were mounted to do duty as hat- racks, and other deer were stuffed entire. A large sea-gull and a vicious-looking hawk swooped down from the ceiling. Near the door:hung a number of lovely white doves with- out-stretched wings. These were only a few of the things that met the glanctL as almost every kind of bird known in this country was represented, and the collection ranged all the way from a beetle to a bear. The reporter began question ing. “What is your largest class of cus tomers?” “A good many people send their dead pets here to be mounted, ” replied the tax idermist. “A large share are canary birds, and they send, too, dogs, cats, squirrels, rabbits, even horses once in a while. Dur ing the autumn aud winter, when the game laws give liberty to spoitsmen, I get many specimens of game to mount. I presume they keep them as trophies. They are usually wild ducks, geese, partridges or deer. Sometimes they shoot an eagle, or a big owl or hawk, and these they are pretty sure to want stuffed. Owls make very handsome birds when stuffed, as they are plump, have plenty of compact plum age and striking eyes.” “I presume fionsls use many of those white doves?” said the reporter. “Oh, ves, I have a large order for them now. They perch them on floral designs for funerals. There is always a market for pure white birds.” “Wlr.re do you get the brilliant colored birds?” “From South America mostly. They skin them down there. They cost differ ent prices according to their color. Some of the hues are very rare.” “Are milliners using many of them now?” asked the reporter, who was not posted in the matter. “Not this year, as they are not the style, but last year I could seil all I could find So me Detective stories. , , . , . without any trouble. Women are very Little Jakie Jones. Old Mrs. Jones borrowed Mrs. Brown’s recipe for making watermelon pickle the other day, and, being hard of hearing, as she couldn’t see to read very well, she got her grandson Jakie to read it for her. Jakie took the paper, like a dutiful child, and, holding it upside down, commenced: “Take a green watermelon—” “Wby, Jakie, ain’t you mistaken? I thought the melon must be ripe.” “Oh, what’s the matter wid you! Gew ever see a watermelon that wusn’t green ?” Cut the watermelon into four halves—” But there ain’t only two halves to any thing. I don’t believe you are reading that, Jakie.” Well, I don’t have to, anyhow, that’s what the reseet says. Then soak it in a pint cup—” “Oh, dear me! How in the world can you put a watermelon in a pint cup ?” ‘Well, I aint here to tell the whereases and howfores.’ I’m just readin’ the facts and you can put in the filosofee to suit your taste. After soakin the melon put it in a skillet and fry it fur five days.” 1 wonder if Mrs. Brown sent me such a recipe as that ?” said the old lady; but Jakie kept on: ‘Then put the watermelon in a quart bowl and pour over it a gallon of vinegar, akiug care not to spill the vinegar—” “I’d just like to know how yoi^can pour a gallon into a quart bowl without spilling any of itbut Jakie continued: “Then sift a peck of pepper through a Adulteration in Food. The adulteration of our food, drink aud medicines, which it is now sought to pre vent by National legislation, has already attained a surpassing magnitude. Experi ence warrants the belief that if not effici ently checked it will be much more exten sive in the futnre than now. The worK of adulteration is one of growth. Jt begins in a small way and ends nowhere, In cof fee, for example; a third of a century ago it was adulterated with chicory to the ex tent of about two and a half pouns to the hundred. From that point it grew in a few years to fully fifty per cent. Then the chicory itself was subjected to adultera tion and now it is not impossible to obt^ samples of so-called coffee which does not contain more than twenty-five per cent of the genuine article. Even the man who buys his coffee in the berry is liable to re ceive a villainous admixture of real ber ries with other stuff that has been moulded into the true shape but contains none of the true material. Parties m the trade re member when five per cent, of adultera tion In pepper was about as much as was considered safe; and now the bogus amounts, in the worst cases, to not far from nLe tenths of the whole. And in these, as well as other cases too numerous to mention, viler stuff is now used as a sub stitute than people oared to employ at the outset. There is no limit to the fraud when once it is started; or at least the limit is only reached iirthe utter extmetion of the genuine article. That limit has already been touched in the case of not a few drugs: it is nearly reached in the manufac ture of artificial nouey: and sugar and but- £5he paused when she reachecFtlie door, and turned upon him with the lace of a drowning man who is only five feet away from a life buoy. “Miserable dependent,” she cries, “who sews on your buttons?” The youngest man on the staff rose to his feet with a proud, happy look on his face. •Haven’t a sewed button on a single ar ticle of my clothes,” he cried, triumphant ly, “patents, every one of ’em fastened on like copper rivets and nothing but studs and collar buttons on my shirts. Haven’t had a button sewed on for three years. Patent buttons last for years after the gar ments have gone to decay.” And the woman tied down the winding passage aud the labyrinth stairs with a hollow groan, while the other members ot the staff, breaking through their heroic reseive, clus tered around the youngest man and con gratulated him upon the emancipation of their sex. milk strainer over the melon, and to one cup of butter and the white and yolk sand j tei already far gone in the process of sheila of three eggs, and throw in the old deterioration. Surely it is time to stop, hen that laid them, and four sticks of ,cin- 1 namon drops and two tablespoonful of qui nine and run it through a coffee-mill and let it stand till it ferments, and then put it m a tin can and tie the can to a dog’e tailathis will stir it up to the right consistency—and then you can turn it off in crocks and have it ready for use. Serve it cold and spread it on mince pie and it makes capital dessert,” and Jakie slid out of the door and left the old lady looking like a wrinkle on a monu ment. N * tural Vinegar. •The only thing I think of,” said the gentleman, after a brief pause “is that my sister Esther is a decided enemy to marriage, and I hardly dare to tell her I am about to marry. If we could only get away aud have the ceremony performed it would be pleas anter.” “Suppose we go to New York,” suggest ed the bride elect. “A good idea. We’ll go. When can you be ready?” “Next Monday morning.” So next Monday morning was agreed upon. It so happened that Esther was to start on Monday afternoon for the same place, with the same purpose in view—but of this coincidence neither party were aware. The reader will please go forward a week. By this time the respective parties have reached New York, been united in the holy bonds of matrimony, aud are now legally husband and wife. They „were located at hotels situated ou the same street, and even on the same side of the wav, buL were far from being aware of the propinquity. On the morning succeeding the. two mar riages—for by a singular chance they hap pened on the same day—Mr. Bigelow and While traveling through Texas, recently! I heard of and visited the above resort of the sick and afflicted. Sour lake is situated in Hardin county, Texas, nine miles from the Texas and New Orleans railroad. It is certainly one of nature’s freaks. On my way from Houston to Orange, I stopped off at the nearest station and visited the lake. At that time there were about seven ty-five visitors from different parts of the Union stopping at the lake for their health, using the water for bathiDg and drinking. The lake is what I should call a large sized pond, with bathiDg apartments around the sides. The water is sour, hence its name; and gas is oozing up through the ground ail about near the place, and bubbling up through the water in the lake. By takiDg an empty fruit-can with one end out and a sm&il hole punched in the other end, and by slickmg the open end in the mud near the lake, gas will shoot out through the hole and burn like a candle, if set on fire. Near the lake are eight or ten springs, all of a different class of water, but mere or less sour. They are numbered from one to eight; some drink one and some another, according to their ailments. While I was there I drank No. 3, as I was a little in clined to be dyspeptic at the time, and 1 was told to use No. 3, and thought it helped me immediately. No. 3 is sour enough to make lemonade. There is a large hotel and many out cabins on the premises. The The greed which would amass riches at the risk of causing-disease and death to thou sands has had play enough. It has become question of self-preservation to the great mass of consumers. They must die if the adulterators be permitted to ply their ne farious arts much longer. Let us call a halt along the whole line—and at once. Tlcltline: iJi»No»e. Dis feller comes mit my saloon und asks for peer,’’Legan the witness as Samuel Beters stood before the bar of justice. “VheD he has one glass he tells me set ’em oop again. Yhen he has tWo glasses he vas as dry as a prush fence. He drink s six glasses right off, und says I must shari it to der sinking fund. I doan’ know vat such tinges mean, und 1 lock der door und makes afl ready for a fight mit him?” “And you had one ?” “Vel, you can see how my nose is all busted oop, und some piack on my eye, und such a bad feelings in my ears. I vas novhere; yes I vas,—I v2fc under der table. ” “Who struck first ?” “Vel, 1 gifs him a shendle tap on der nose to make him see dot he must pay oop.” “You locked the door on him and tapped him on the nose ?'* “Yaw.” “Well, the prisoner is discharged and you may go home. ” * “Vhatl Doau’t you send him up for six months ?” “No, sir.” “Doan’ I git some predection of der law ?” “Not when you lock the door on a man and begin tjpkiing his nose.” “Vel, I nefer seel I might as vel close oop my peesness und take poison. Dot preaks me all down like a child, und 1 tells der old vornans dot we move pack to Milwaukee nght off.” animals stuffed to serve as advertisements. A handsome black bear, tiger, or panther, attracts attention.” A Tipsy Tomcat. are poor, the property being in litigation. hotel is well kept but the improvement* —The Crown of England is valued at £134,000 or $670,000, Jean Baptiste Charles Alphonse Cayron du Cayle, a son of the Count Cayron du Cayle, for many year the governor of the Hotel des Invalides, Baris, recently, died at his residence, No. 2,067 Fifth avenue, New \ ork. He was the youngest aud last survivor of nine sons, all of whom were killed or wounded in the service of France. His life was a romance. Its prominent in cidents were narrated recently by his widow. He was born at Baris, Oct. 18, 1828. At five years of age he was placed in the military school for officers’ sons at La Fleche, near Lamont. Many men now prominent in France were lus fellow stu dents. At the age of eighteen he joined a hussar regiment and remained in it for two years. In 1848, after leaving a ball, he went with a number of companions to revolutionary club. The “Marseflaise” was suggested and the whole party was arrested. Du Cayle was tried for treason, but family influence saved him. He was then transferred to Africa, and made a lieutenant in a regunent of ftpahis. He was in several campaigns under Gen. Negrier and £>t. Arnaud. Four brothers were in Africa with him. The other four were already dead. At the outbreak of the Crimean war he was ordered with his regiment to Russia. He was at the charge at Inkerman and also at Balaklava,and was badly wounded at the battle of Alma. From this wound he was always slightly lame. He was bre vetted ^.captain for gal lantry, and held the position of ensign bearer to general (now Marshal MacMahon. His future seemed bright, when an unfort unate affair ruined ali his prospects. There was much politcal feeling among the offi cers of the French army, aud the Orieanists and imperialists were bitterly opposed to each other. This resulted in a series of seven duels, ali on one day, and between champions of the rivai factions. Four men were Killed outright m these duels. Du Cayle was au Orleamst and fough Renede Marnesea, who was said to be the illegiti mate son of Napoleon III. Marnesea was killed, and then began Du Cayle’s troubles. His promotion wa3 stopped, men were l-assed over his head, aud finally he was ioreed to resign. He returned to Baris, and as he had^fiua basso voice he studied music at the conservatory for three years and became a pensionaire of the opera. He was also basso iu tne original perform ance of ‘ ‘The Bohemian Girl” at Rouen. He ihen went traveling in the East Indies with an opera company, was away five years, and accumulated a fortune, which he sent to France. On his return he landed at Marseilles and learned that he had lost all but 50,000 francs by the failure of a banking house. With this money he went to Buenos Ayres andsiaited a theatre. It failed, and he went to New Orleans, where he passed many unhappy years. He re turned to France in 1869, and came back to this.city as a basso. He sang with the Hess and Kellogg troupe, and many other com ponies. A well-grown black and white cat had wandered away from a house iu Forsyth street, New York, in a maudlin condition, but it was not until it reached Grand street that this peculiarity was noticed. It was a bitter cold day and the piercing wind blew along the street causing that thorough fare to be almost deserted bv pedestrians. A crowd seemed to take possession of the sidewalk near Forsyth street and moved slowly on its way toward Williamsburg ferry; about five feet ahead of the crowd was the drunken feline staggering with slow and uncertain gait, seemingly uncon scious that it was a cold day. Everybody was buttoned close to the neck,but “Tom” did not appear to mind it a bit. The crowd were orderly and followed with qniet interest, each saying to the other: “Did you ever see a cat drunk ?” “Here is a specimen.” “Where did he come from.” “House in Forsyth street,” replied a small boy. The usual disposition to shy a brick or a rock was subdued by the novelty of the spectacle. No, hooting or shout'Dg was indulged in and no policeman could be seen. Everybody followed to watch the move ments of the inebr ate cat. He took up a good deal of the sidewalk for a cat and measured it well: but one controlling mo tive seemed to possess him, and that was to go as straight forward as possible; once or twice he almost toppled over, staggered to either side,but just managed in keeping his balance. “Tom’s” head was a study. While the legs were deprived of their usual assurance the head was steady, and the eyes dull in appearance; occasionally he would swing in a degree to either side— but mainly kept right. “Tom” proceeded in this fashion for haif a block when he turned to an open hallway, trot on the step with great difficulty, leaned against the wall slid on his side and instantly fell asleep. The crowd gathered about him and extended that mercy they never show to the human drunkard—let him lay peace. Good stories are told about railroad con ductors, a most popular class of people. One of the best told is of a -Kansas City conluctor, a man n3ted for the faithful and polite manner in which he performs his duties, and his integrity and honesty no one has ever had to doubt. Not long since wnile so-called detectives were riding on about every train, the conductor discovered one of those important personages aboard one of liis coaches. He kept his eye on him and before long discovered him asleep. In an instant he took in the situation, and going up to him he took him by the shoul der and said: “Wa-wakeup here; y-ycu are paid for watching me, and f want y-you to do your duty, or I’ll report you.” The effect was magical. The passengers the most of whom knew the conductor to be probably the most trusted employe oa the road, took in the situation iu an instant and the laugh went round the coach. For the remainder of the night whenever Pink erton's man showed the least disposition to close his eyes, he wos awakened by some one shouting: “Wake up here; do your duty, or I’ll report you.” When the train reached Council Biutfs he made a hasty exit, satisfied that he had met at least one conductor anxious to be watched as well as one who did his duty and expected others to do so like wise. A good story is also told of a Milwaukee conductor as honest and straightforward a man as ever lived, and as courteous as hon est. Peculations had occurred on the road and detectives were put on. One of these worthies was on our Milwaukee friend’s train. Matters ran on for a month, and the detectives had no report to make againt Jerry. At the end of the month Jerry walked into the office of the general mana ger of the road, and addressing the mag nate said: “Mr. Manager, up to one month ago I have been for fourteen years a conductor. During that time I have, to the best of my ability, endeavored to discharge my duty. I have never knowingly deprived this com pany of one penny of its just and legitimate dues, and in no way nave I laid myself under the imputation of being a thief. Nevertheless you have put a detective on my train to watch me, as if I were an or dinary sneak thief. During the month that this mau was watemng me I have kept back part of the company’s money stolen if you please to so designate it— and here it is.” As he spoke Jerry laid down a pack age of $1,000, and continuing, “Here, also is my resignation. Froin this day on I will Dever do a day’s work for a corporation that treats me as a thief. ” The general manager was taken aback in no slight degree. He urged Jerry to stay with nim,but it was of no use. It is scarce ly necessary to say that Jerry had no dif ficulty in getting into another berth. Readers will all remember the old story told of tire driver of one of Kipp & Brown’s, ’busses iu New Y’ork city. After a long day’s work the elder Kipp saw the driver go up into the loft over the stable and fol lowed him. The driver took from his pocket the day’s receipts and began count ing the money over. He laid six-pence, in one pile saying, “This is for old Kipp.” The next six-pence went into another place VKfffc the remark. “This is f^r me. ooTie went dn unto Hie money was all divided equally into two piles, i here was one six-pence over. As Mr. Kipp watched the man he saw him scratch his head, and that he was evidently in double. I never had it come out that way before,” he said, “and I don’t know whetuer that is old Kipp’s sixpence or mine. However I’ll give old Kipp a chance and toss lor it— Heads for old Kipp—tails for me.” He tossed the sixpence into the air and it fell head up. Again the driver scratched his head, and saying “I don't think that was fair, I ll try it again,'’ sent the sixpence into the air once more. This time it fell tail up. I knew it,” said the driver, “i Jknew it was mine, but old Kipp can't say I didn’t treat him square.” He put his money into his pocket with evident satisfaction, and started down stairs. •Hold on,” said Air. Kipp, from his hidiDg-piace, “you infernal scoundrel. I want a word with you. Y ou go to the office and get your pay. Had you treated old Kipp squarely m tnat toss up I wculd not say a word, but a rascal that will not only steal, but do such an infernal mean thing as you have for a sixpence can never drive stage another day for old Kipp.” The certainly hoggish driver went off with a flea in his ear. Capturing liis Game Aliye. A party of soldiers out West, not having much to do, resolved to go bear-hunting. They had been out about sixteen hours and had not seen a bear, and being tired and hungry, returned to camp. On their arrival at headquarters they missed one of their compam 3ns, but thought nothing of it, one of them remarking— “He will return all right.” They made their camp-fire, and com menced preparing for supper; they had the coffee over the fire; one of them was slic ing some potatoes, another was stewing some meat, and the remainder sat around the fire waiting, when they were all startled by a terrible noise that seem to come near er to camp. Suddenly the thickets parted, and in rushed the missing man, his hair standing on end, his lace deadly white, his gun gone, and his arms flying in the air, as if grasp ing for imaginary objects, and about two teet behind him came a great black bear. The soldiers seized their guns, and one of them, levelling his piece, shot the bear dead. The pursued soldier turned’when he saw the bear drop, and, looking at one of them, said breathlessly— “Is he dead?” One of them asked: “Why didn’t you shoot him, instead of running?” “Wnat do you take me for?” replied the missing one; “do you think I was such a darned fool as to shoot him when I could bring him in alive?” —A large aerolite fell in the iuburb3 of Erie the other night. Mow to sav i “Say “I would rather walk, ” and not “I had rather walk.” Say “I doubt not but I shall,” and not “I don’t doubt but 1 shall.” Say “for you and me,’’and not “for you and L” Say “whether I be present or not,” snd not “present or no.” Say “not that I know,” and not “that I know of.”. Say “return it to me,” and net “return it hack to me. ” Say “1 seldom see him,” ani* jWfciUtf I seldom or ever 9ee him. ” Say “fewer friends,” and .ot ' ; Iesa friends.” Say “if I mistake not, ” and not “if 1 am not mistaken.” Say “game is plentiful,” and not “game is plenty. ” Say “1 am weak in comparison with you,” and not “to you.” Say “it rains very fa3t,”and not “very hard. ” Say “in its primitive sense,” and not “primary sense.” Say “he was noted for his violence.’’and not that “he was a man notorious for vio lence. ” Say “thus much is true,” and not “this much is true.” Say “I lifted it,” and not “I lifted it up.” And last, but not least, say “I take my paper and pay for it in advance.” A funny fellow named Scrubbs got into a first-class railway carriage, in England before smoking carriages were invented. In the carnage was seated a sour-looking old gentleman. After the train had started, Scrubbs took out his pipe. “You mustn’t smoke nere,” at once said the old gentleman. “I know that,” replied Scrubbs, He then calmly filled his pipe. “Did I not tell you,’’said the o. g. again, “that you can’t smoke here ?’ ’ “1 know that,”aloomily replied Scrubbs, taking out his fusee box. He lit a fusee, but now the wrath of the o. g. was dread ful. “You shan’t smoke here, sir!” he shrieked. “I know that,” added Scrubbs, allowing the fusee to exhaust itself, when he lit another, and another, the stench was awful, tne smoke suffocating. The o. g., coughing and spluttering, struggled lor words. You’d better smoke,” aid he. “I know that,” replied Scrubbs, apply ing the hi a zing fusee to the expectant pipe.