Newspaper Page Text
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Beep tars and thrones the morning realms
hare tried,
Earth for the people kept her sunset side.
Arts, manners, creeds, the teeming Orient
gave;
Freedom, the gift that freights the refluent
wave,
Pays with one priceless pearl the guerdon
due,
And leaves the Old World debtor to the New
Long as the watch-towers of our crownless
Queen
From the broa/l ocean that she sits between,
May her proud sons their plighted faith
maintain.
And guard unbroken Union’s lengthening
chain—
Union, our peaceful sovereign, she alone
Can make or keep the Western world our
own!
—Oliver Wendell Holmes.
rJjAIlJNlj p-r A VTATn inTTiTT WlLll ■nxTvn xliiL.
-
“Look here, Bevan,” said Superintend-
ent Clarke, “I will give you just one
more chance. I am ff •'oing to send v<>u
down to Henderson you behave your
self there, and show that you have any of
the true stuff in you I will .rive vou a
better position in'time. If not I shall
wash my hands of you, and you will re-
ceive no more employment from this
'
company ”
He looked after Bevan somewhat re-
ner fully, as the great, handsome fellow
event out. Sunerinf(Muic-.t
inclined to like him: hut Bevan’s conduct
made it impossible to show him much
favor.
A week later Bevan went down to
Henderson and opened the little tele-
graph office over which he w as to be sole
manager for-how long?
Telegraphy was more of a curiosity
then than it is now, and he found him-
self regarded as a sort of lion by the peo-
pie there. lie tried hard to be
and sober, and really succeeded very
well. He struck up an acquaintance with
the station agent,who was a steady, ti;or-
ough-goiug young fellow and an excellent
companion. He was greatly taken with
the mysteries of telegraphy and very
much to his delight Bevan offered to
teach him and had soon transformed him
into a tolerable “plug.”
One evening about two weeks after
Bevan had been in possession of the Hen-
derson office he \v;us attracted to the
sounder by hearing Iliehport, the largest
city on the line, thirty miles above Hen-
rierson, calling furiously. The big fellow 7
Walkcd leisurely back to the ttible and
mmvered in his slow, drawling fashion,
Which always set the other operators along
the line nearly distracted. He was re-
warded by the following:
ToJ. R.Claude, President Henderson Hank:
Tho bullion has arrived. Do you wish it
sent by milk train to-night? I shall not send
it uuK'ss i receive direct orders at ouce.
William Klein, Cashier R-Bank.
lie copied the message, inclosed it in
an envelope, directed it in his round,bold
hand, and called to the messenger, who
was in the outer room.
“Be sure and get an answer,William,”
he said.
the village, and he could just see the
lights of the nearest house in the distance.
in half an hour William returned.
'‘Rather a lonely walk, Will,” Bevan
remarked
fields, “Yes, sir. I came back across the
ami so shortened it."
Which in all probability saved his life,
Bevan tore the envelope containing the
answer open and read it
“You can home now, my boy,- he
said.
The message read:
To W illiam Klein, Cash ier,Richport Bank:
No; do not send the bullion tc.-ai ht. I
will give you further orders to-morrow as to
i ts disposition.
J. R. Claude, President Henderson Bank.
He had checked the message and,
standing by the table, had stretched
his hand toward the key to call Richport,
when an arm-was thrown roughly around
him, pinning his hands to his sides, and
he felt the pressure of cold steel on his
temple.
“Move, shout or speak but a single
word, and I will blow your brains out,”
said a harsh, determined voice in a low
toue.
Bevan was as brave, perhaps, as most
men yet he was thoroughly frightened—
scared almost to death.
He could hear the muffled tramp of
men in the office. One of them blew out
the kerosene lamp and turned a dark
lantern so that it shone directly in
Bevan’* eyes, almost blinding him. An¬
other man, , low in stature, thick , . , set,
with :l long black beard and a black
nuisk ovci t ie tippet part of Ins tc.ce,
placed hunse.i uireeth in Irom of Bevan
auu produced a ptur ot handcuffs, which
he secured upon lm wrists. His arms
uere then re .ease-., by the man who had
ted them, lie, with tne beard, who
sseemed to be tnc leader, then by the light
1l
ajucftietuitvpi.ic •rid carp full v ubr > um 1 in hi- li.s ...cast t poc > bet. ,
been seut^he^id addSn^VroS ..... w ..
the n t\ on
"1 kuoiv it -v has not, „ was the , answ er.
when'wo eMereT" tm ° ^ ^
l
• • v ui) - oou. , i nt now, iv- n lie i „ continue,., . -
O
Stor Z «4>in^ “I want^ u t > :
&K * It vV .‘.VT Cm ' " whv 1
was ... t o iucoetu ntdo ,
vou have^anv Yhctn ^
suadt-r will silence " r'-.iVr-
he tamvd the which" hut’ 'id of - *d from*
nific-mtlv A,. ’ o:\ueet * J Vs
-
'' it/ ti lu *,o- ao\ „ vworwGi pen amt „ , i pio- .
•
eeeded to write out a message on a soft
Thlvt Bewin took etht to ohnee^round
there we~ eight men men in m the the room room all all of o^
whom wore masks similar to tnat worn
by their chief. He could just make out
their forms in the dim light. A hand
dropped upon his shoulder showed him
that even the turning of his head had
"
been observed.
“There ” the leader said “von wifi
send that instead of the other
He held the blank up before Bevan. It
v.
'
. , . ,
night without the fail. My receive cashier with it. a guard
vul be at station to
J. R. Claude. President.
Bevnn looked down at his manacled
wrists. The irons were heavy and the
clyiin connecting the two rings not more
than three inches long.
“I can't send it with these on,” lm
i adored.
" \ ou must! ” said the chief, grimly,
Sevan resolved to try. Taking up a
pencil he managed to count the words
and 8Cr ^ w l the check on the message with
® orae difficulty. He was going to remark
fro m forc e of habit, that it should be
^’ ritten . a message blank, but under
conditions bethought himself in time.
* ‘Stop! What is that?” said the chief,
j ! pointing to the check.
‘ ‘ The number of words and the amount
paid,” answered Bevan.
I “Is this necessary?” he asked of the
man to whom he had spoken before.
“Yes, sir. It is all right. They call
| it the check and put it on every mes-
: sage.”
“Very well, then; go ahead. This
i man is an operator; he will watch vou
j closely, will' and at the first sign of treachery
I put a bullet through your head,
Smith, stand out of range, or you may
get a taste of it, too.”
I Bevan sat down at the table, the leader
pushing his chair closer. Opening the
key he commenced calling “R.” He
a " a ‘ n felt the cold barrel of the revolver
on bis forehead, and it made him so nerv-
ous tb at he could hardly manipulate
key- “ R ” answered.
“ That is g™ f V’ said the man ad-
dre 4ed as who was the operator.
“ Send slow. I can’t read fast sending,”
ne added -
Bevau proceeded very slowly, and
i Smith pronounced each word as he made
1 5t * The leader g^nced alternately at
Smith and Bevan uneasily. It was evi-
dent that this was the crisis of their bold
cons P irac y- “ R ” broke Bevan in the
,nkidle of tlie messa g e > wanting to know
why the deuce he sent so slowly. Bevan
closed tke k( ' y and took his band away
Dcrvo,lsly -
“ What did Le ssy? ” demanded tke
Chief.
™, tcd to know why 1 didn’t
send 1
J el1 lum vou liave a sore „ said .
-
c .
rni n '
Poor Bevan spelled the lie out slowly,
Smith reading it aloud, then went on and
finished the message.
“R” gave a sharp and distinct “O. K,”
which the renegade operator read aloud,
The leader gave a sigh of relief which
Bevan promptly echoed as he felt the
pistol barrel removed from his head. The
chief then unlocked one of the handcuffs.
removed it, placed Bevan's bauds behind
llis and rcclasped the ring around
llis ’"'rist, thus rendering him perfectly
helpless,
There was nothing to be done now ex-
ce P fc to wait. The meu disposed tliem-
selves on the various chairs scattered
about the room, the leader still guarding
Bevan, revolver in hand. As Bevan
thought over the events of the first half
hour lie was filled with rage at the
dastardly decd he had *>een compelled to
commit. This money which would now
fall into the hands of of these miscreants
was the honest property of honest farmers,
wives and orphans, and he had assisted
to rob them. Better far to have sacri¬
ficed his life. If unharmed, how could
he ever hold up his head again? Oh,
that he had refused to be their tool! Was
there no way to undo wliat he had
done?
P^ely J? ^ \ as Joke his other the key good-natured was connected, sta¬
jou agent, lie had at odd times prac-
t'ced senelmg with his foot and found it
not half so difficult as one would sup-
the circhit closer so
that hc ™ uW m0 ' ° “ easily, and the rest
' ! V,,S )er * e mere 7 arcd ‘7 >l>“d a he j-rerv o! l >ract qu.te ‘ ce ' proficient
**> ‘! ,,s “ OT « l ” c tho d °!T'
. , Z
key with his foot and made a few dots.
“What is that?” said the leader.
“Only some one practising,” said
Bevan, rapidly.
The leader looked at Smith, who
nodded.
Bevan called “R” rapidly,
-‘What did he say there?”
“Practising the letter ‘c’” he an-
swered glibly. “Do you wish me to
read aloud all that passes over the wire?”
“No, it is not necessary.”
“I can read most of it,” said Smith,
giving Bevan a penetrating glance,
Bevan had his own reasons for doubt-
ing this statement, however, an ‘
swered, Sevan said, sending as rapidly as
he could under the circumstances:
“Has that message been delivered
( yet?”
“Yes, long ago.”
“Then go after it and stop it. That
bullion must not be sent to-night.”
1 he key at “I. opened and remained „
so for nearly five minutes; then it closed
and he said. “All right, the bullion will
not go. What is the matter?'’
“flicmatter is that this office is full of
armed highwaymen. I was forced to
send that message with a loaded revolver
at my forehead.”
“Good heavens! Wait ^ a minute.”
Bevan turned and met the eye of the
robber chief. He could not help smiling
1 he chief was on his . feet in . an instant, .
-By God,” he said. “If vou have
P la ved us a! W tri ck , young fellow, you
-
will pay for it with . your life'. ’
“He has not said a word,” remarked
g m ith.
“It is well for him,” said the leader,
i tbat bullion arrives all right you will
be released uninjured. If it fails to come
or if there is a sign of treachery yo3r
oor l >se wjU be found °a the floor to-
morrow morning with your brains spat-
tered on that wall.”
Beran Juddered at this picture,which
beginning to loom up as black reality
bet eve him.
out " the (be sounuer, Chief of "and Police wants is here,” to know ticked how
you are situated.
“My hands are handcuffed behind me
aud a man sits at mv side with a i oade(l
^d cocked revoHer,” Bevan answered.
iir am sending °l with my foot on a con-
kev under the lokeonM^ tahle
'"what up ca/be to play a
done to save von?”
rK^sible “•Nothin*?. ^ But capture thes=> robber- IwtveT’'’
; ir When does ?S the be train tram leave,
At i.rev t ' S »
'here v bIS? ;m. . , ,
'
^“hirtv Sail five
well armed armea men men on on the tne tram,
ket 11 st °P £ . Jst a b ov f the curve and have
^ *"'* " d SUrIOTnd ,he
“K. . „ . Key opened , moment, then he
s a
said:
“It will be done. What will they do
to }Ou.
“I am doomed—will probably be shot
the very first thing. But some one will
swing for it.”
“Good God! Is there no help?”
“No, none. I would like to have you
bid the Superintendent good-by for me.
Tell him I had resolved to live a better
life. And tell Mason in the morning the
trick I played on him.”
“I will; I will, Is there nothing
else?”
“No. I had better stop now, or I may
arouse suspicion. Good-by, old fellow.”
“What is that all about?” demanded
the leader of the highwaymen.
“A couple of students practicing,”
Bevan replied, wearily. A deep silence
followed, broken at last by the sounder
clicking out:
“The train has just left with twenty-
eight policemen and citizens aboard.”
K,” Bevan answered,
^ would make the run in forty or
forty-five minutes. A distant church bell
chimed out 11 o’clock. Where would he
be at 12?
“The train is due in ten minutes,” j
said Smith. Just at that moment Bevan ;
caught a sound which escaped the less
practised ears of his companion. The
train had arrived and stopped at the
curve. j
His blood coursed like wildfire through
his veins; his heart thumped against his
side as though it would force its way out; i
g reat beads of perspiration stood out on
his forehead like pearls; every nerve was
alive with anticipation,
Jt came at last. Both doors of th ■
station were hurst in with a tremendou
crash—a wild rush was made for the in¬
side oflice-a loud voice exclaimed:
.Surrender, in the name of the law!
“Betrayed!” shouted the leader,
He placed the barrel of his revolver tc
Bevan s ear—the hammer fell with a dull
thud. It had raided fire! With a curse
ke raised R m the air and brought it
doWn ^. on Bev f n s head ~ a bri - nt dask
passed before f his eyes, the room sank
away from him-all was oblivion,
“I think he looks a little better, Dr.
Thorne,” said a sweet voice.
Bevan opened his eyes.
“Where am I?” he asked. His voice
was low and weak.
“You must not talk. You are in the
hands of friends and all is well.”
He soon found that he was in the house
of the President of the Henderson Bank,
and the sweet voice belonged to his
daughter, Miss Marion Claude.
Nursed by such hands his recover} 7 w r as
rapid. When able to get around he was
provided with a clerkship in the bank,
whence he had risen to the present high
position of cashier.
The eight highwaymen were all cap¬
tured and tried and sentenced to various
terms in the State prison. The ringleader
received a life sentence and is there still.
Miss Claude? Oh, she is Mrs. Bevan
now.
Some Big Bridges.
Coalbrookdale bridge, England, is the
first cast iron bridge. It was built over
the Severn in 1779.
The covered bridge at Pavia, over the
Ticino, was built in the fourteenth cen¬
tury. The roof is held by 100 granite
columns.
Tlie bridge at Havre de Grace, over the
Susquehanna, is 3271 feet long, and is
divided into twelve wooden spans, resting
on granite piers.
The bridge of Holy Trinity at Florence
was built in 1569. It is 322 feet long,
constructed of white marble and stands
unrivaled as a work of art.
The cantilever bridge, over the Niagara,
is built almost entirely of steel. Its
length is S10 feet, the total weight is
3000 tons, and the cost was $900,000.
The Rialto, at Venice, is said to have
been built from the designs of Michael
Angelo. It is a single marble arch, 98^
feet long and was completed in 1591.
The Bridge of Sighs at Venice, over
which condemned prisoners were trans¬
ported from the hall of judgment to the
place of execution, was built in 1589.
The bridge at Burton, over the Trent,
was formerly the longest bridge in Eng¬
land, being 1545 feet. It is now partly
removed. Built in the twelfth century.
Tay Bridge, old bridge over the Tay at
Dundee, destroyed December 28, 1879.
New bridge about two miles long, has
85 piers; height above high water, 77
feet.
The Niagara Suspension Bridge was
built by Roebling in 1852-55 at a cost oi
$400,000. It is 245 feet above the water;
821 feet long, and the strength is es-
timated at 1200 tons.
The new London Bridge is constructed
of granite, from the designs of L. Rennie,
It was commenced in 1824 and completed
in about seven years at a cost of $7;290,- ’
qqo
Clifton suspension bridge, at Bristol,
bas a span of 703 at a height of 245 feet
above the water. The carriage way is
20 feet wide and the footway 5 d - feet
*
vvide. Cost, $500 000.
The Britannia bridge crosses the Mena!
strait, Wales, at an elevation of 103 feet
above high w ater. It is of wrought iron,
pyjp feet lorm and was finished in 1850
Cost, $3,000,000 .—Detroit Free Press.
___ ..
_
Wolverines are Ugly Customers.
Few Washinotnn ’know nennle that* bnwwW -i *
woiver'me is. They Michig.i
is called the Wolverine State and th
Michigan people P are called Wolverines
But they have little or no idea why the
State was so named or what the nickname
moans
q’p e p„ named after nn inimal
that used to infest, and still frequents,
the dense woods in the northern part of
the State, as well as in the woods of
northern Wisconsin and Canada. This
animal is the wolverine, or, as the vane-
tics of him found in northern European
countries are called the glutton They
are savage beasts, these wolverines are',
and they play sad havoc with the cattle
of the Michigan farmers. They are like a
cross between a wolf and bear. The tail
and the temper resemble those of a wolf,
but in strength and size and savageness
thev much "resemble a bear, ! a very J bad
bear .
They are less clumsy than bears.
thou ^ aad tk ey can climb trees. Many 4
a htmtar has walked uuuer under a a tree uec up up ,n
, r . , . ltho look for
v ' ut “g a wolverine
brst . and
tne wolverine
ro PP ed own on him from one of the
J j 0M T had r i 1 ^ him 3 ’ and be.ore buckskin the nest breeches morn-
mg eaten up,
and all, even to the heels of his hunting
^ ai ?. uglvjooking beasts,
S* their T bushy HT tail,a f foot g or ab ° so Ut , long. them ^ Their ng
claws are longer and sharper than bears’,
their teeth justae .harp.
They are so savage and so wary and
suspicious that it is almost impossible to
catch them alive, and so they don't have
them in circuses and zoological gardens,
and most people don't know what thev
are. care'to- They are so them?and savage that hunters
don’t hunt so the wol-
verine has things about his own. way
where he lives.— Washington Critic ,
BUDGET OF FUN.
HUMOROUS SKETCHES FROM
VARIOUS SOURCES.
From Different View Points—Hardly
Worth TVhile-A Question of
Authority — Business
Changes, Etc.
‘‘If I were in your place.” the visitor said.
As he looked through the grated door, life,
“ I would turn my thoughts to a better
And endeavor to sin no more.”
“ If I were in your place, you bet vour life,”
The prisoner remarked, from his cell,
“ I would skin up the street till I couldn’t rest,
In less time than it takes to tell ! ”
HARDLY WORTH WHILE.
New Boarder—“Madam do you really
propose to say grace over this break-
fast?”
Boarding Mistress—“Yes, sir, it is my
invariable custom.”
“Yes, I know, but do you think it
worthwhile—nothing but thin coffee and
fried liver ? "—Texas Siftings.
A QUESTION OF AUTHORITY.
Neighbor—“ Roof leaking up there ? ”
Mr. Cassius—“ Nope. See that shot
gun sticking out of th’ scuttle ? ”
Neighbor—“ Yep.”
Nr. Cassius—“ My wife’s behind it. I
veniui e '< to remark this morning that I
r th' iiead of th’ house, an’ she's kept
me up luce ever since.”— Judge.
BUSINESS CHANGES.
“ A year ago,” he said, “ I sold out my
drug business and went to Wall street,
and in less than a week's time I doubled
ray capital. That’s making money fast,
eh ? ”
“ Yes, indeed. You must be vei'y rich
now ? ”
“Well, no, not very. At the expira¬
tion of the second week I left Wall street,
and am now clerking for the man I sole!
out to.”— Life.
IIIS KNOWLEDGE OF FRANCE WAS MEAGRE.
“My son,” said the anxious parent,
“ I learn with some surprise that you are
marked ‘ deficient ’ in your French his¬
tory. I thought you told me that you
finished your paper in ten minutes.”
“ So I did; but the question was, ‘Tell
all you know 7 about the history of
France.’ ”
“Ah, I sec.”— Harper's Magazine.
WHERE TOTS ATHLETE TRAINED.
“You say you never had any gymnas¬
tic training and never took part in a con¬
test of this kind before ? ”
“Never,” modestly replied the man
who had just won the championsitiu in a
high leaping match. “But there’s no
secret about it. I live on a street where
the grocers keep most of their stock out
on the sidewalk in front .”—Chicago
Tribune.
THE JUDGE SIDED WITH THE JOKER.
Judge—“You say the prisoner threw
you out of the door. Had you provoked
him?”
Plaintiff—“Not at all. He advertised
an unusually fine bargain sale of laces,
and I went in and asked him for the low¬
est figure on a pair of shoe laces.”
Judge—“Prisoner is discharged. Mr.
Clerk, swear out a warrant against plain¬
tiff and have him arrested for criminal as¬
sault. ”— Harper's Bazar.
AN OBJECT LESSON O PUNNING.
A noted Washington wag and beau of
thirty years signed his name “A. More.”
Mrs. John Washington had invited him
to a formal dinner party at Mount Ver-
non. The companv all arrived except
Mr. More, but knowing his queer ways
the hostess did not wait for him. After
she was seated some time a huge envelope
was handed her, in which she found an
enormous leaf of a sycamore tree. The
interpretation was: “Sick.—A. More.”
— Chicago America.
EE COULDN’T MISS THAT GAME.
De Courey—“Angelina, dearest, have
you yet fixed upon the day that is to make
me the happiest of men?”
Angelina—“Yes, Reginald, the 15th
of next month is my birthday, and how
appropriate it would be to have our wed¬
ding on the same date. Does that day
suit you?”
De C.—“Well, no, not quite as well as
some other. You see there is to be a
League game played on that day, and I
wouldn’t like to miss it .”—Easton Budget.
the jury was down on the slouch.
A man charged with stealing a calf
macTe the following statement: “I was
ahva >' s Cached to be honest, an’ most al-
; 7 have been, but when I seed the calf
- 1. I never wanted a calf so bad in
iy life, an’ you know that when a
..nts a calf he wants him.”
i C .i lu T returned the following ver-
' “We, this jury, air satisfied that
the call, be. as the fetter that
tn ^ an - r - 1£d is considerable of a
" agree to clear Steve an’ make
eh pay the costs T—Atlanta Con -
-
A suggestion.
Tf was in the grocery store. “Give
Iie a pound of cheese,” said an elderly
man with blue spectacles on.
“Yes, sir,” said the grocer, and he
went to work with his knife.
Just then a horse hitched in front of
tb e store became uneasy.
“Whoa!” shouted the grocer.
beg your pardon,’ said the
with blue spectacles, who had been gaz-
ing intently at the cheese. “Did you re-
mark whoa?
“Yes, sir; to the horse outside.”
“Oh, to the horse. Well, hadn’t you
better sav it again to the cheese V'-Mer-
Traveler.
GETTING FULL ON WATER.
Miss Never traveled—“One sees such
ridiculous things in the paper, don t you
think, Mr. Mr. Justfromabroad Justfromabroad^ 1 A rather,
es.
It docs seem that the editors tried to see
which could tell the biggest vara.”
Miss Nevertraveled— Why only this
moru ^’ { re * d f the P a R er tnat rt J 35 a
possible thing to get intoxicated on
water.”
Mr. Ju S .fromabro 3 d-..Oh, that was
all right. Why, when I crossed, I was
drun^-er—hem—aw—t his has been a
glorious day, hasn’t it, Miss Never-
traveled?” But the reply that belonged
for never came.— Peck's Sun.
EE WAS HIS SISTER’S KNIGHT ERRANT.
A young lady walked was much pained and
shocked as shp down the street to
6ee her young brother sitting astride the
prostrate body of another boy and rain-
ing down blows upon his struggling vie-
tim. “Johnny,” she almost screamed,
“what are you doing? Come here this
minute. Aren’t you ashamed of your-
self, fighting this way in the street.”
The boy reluctantly arose from his van-
quished antagonist and faced his indig-
nant sister. Then he explained:
“Well, I don’t care. He said you wasn't
good-looking. I don't think vou are
either, but it ain’t none o’ his funeral.
So I licked him .”—Minneapolis * Tribune.
EMBARRASSED BY HER COMPLEMENT.
A young lady was once present at a
musical party where the lion of the even-
ing was a celebrated flute player. After
he had performed, this young lady was
presented to him, and there was a general
silence in the room, which added to her
natural embarrassment. She felt that she
must say something pleasant, so, with a
happy smile, she exclaimed:
“Oh, how delightfully you play! Do
you ever accompany yourself on the
piano?”
The artist looked at his flute, then at
his fingers, shrugged his shoulders, bowed
low and said: “Never.”
After a moment she saw why everybody
laughed .—London Tit-Bits.
EXPERIENCED.
The mystic moonbeams and the twinkle
of the stars made soundless harmonies on
that balmy night. They walked together
down the old road past the orchard and
the ruined mill to the rustic bridge across
the little streamlet which prattled idly to
the pebbles as it hurried along.
“Mable,” said he, “do you know what
love it?”
“I think so,” she replied simply.
“I mean were you ever the object of a
love that w T as as fierce as the onslaught of
a tiger and as unquenchable as the stars.
Were you ever truly loved?”
“Was I ever truly loved?” she repeated
thoughtfully. “George come back to
the house and I will show you two dia¬
mond rings, six valentines, and a trunk
full of photographs.”
And George was silent .—Merchant
Traveler.
LOOKED AT EIS GLASS EYE.
The diner-out recently sat at the board
of a friend whose misfortune it is to wear
a glass eye—a jolly fellow, fond of the
pleasure of the table, full of good humor,
quick to see a joke and a lover of a good
story. What I now relate is one he.tells
of himself.
Ee is a railroad man, occupying a re¬
sponsible position on one of our great
lines. A few years ago there was a great
crash on his road, and the train on which
he was riding was knocked into smither¬
eens. He was picked up as one dead,
and was stretched out in some con¬
venient place to await the arrival of the
doctors to officially pronounce upon his
condition. By and by a physician
bustled up, looked at his prostrate,
motionless form and pallid face and said:
“That poor fellow's a goner, I guess.”
Then he kneeled down, lifted up an
eyelid and saw a dull, expressionless orb.
“Yes, he’s dead fast enough—take
him away!” exclaimed the doctor.
The supposed corpse suddenly began
to move its lips. The startled surgeon
listened and this is w-hat he heard:
“You old fool, that’s my glass eye.”—
Lewiston Journal.
DISCOUNT.
It used to be the custom, and is now in
many localities, to “beat down” in all
trades with storekeepers and merchants.
An amusing example of this practice is
given below: it
In the old haggling Way of trade was
customary to demand a great deal more
than the asker hoped to get. One time,
on the Texas frontier, a man came into a
camp riding on an old mule.
“How much for the mule?” asked a
by-stander.
“Jist a hundred elollars,” answered the
rider.
“I’ll give you five dollars,” said the
other.
The rider stopped short, as if in amaze¬
ment, and then slowly dismounted.
“Stranger,” said he, “I ain’t a-goin’
to let a little matter of ninety-five dollars
stand between me and a mule trade. The
mule’s yourn.”
Another story, somewhat of the same
sort, is related of an old tenant farmer
who, on paying his rent, told his land¬
lord that he wanted some timber to build
a house, and would be much obliged if
he would give him permission to cut down
what would answer for the purpose.
“No!” said the landlord, sharply.
“Well, then, sir,” the farmer went on,
“will you give me enough to build a
barn?”
“No!”
“To make a gate, then?” i
“Yes.”
“That’s all I wanted,” said the farmer,
“and more than I expected .”—Tanlcee
Blade .
Victims of the Banann Peel.
A gentleman calls the attention o± tne
Atlanta Constitution to the New York
Telegram's statement that the banana peel
kas wrought more damage to-life and
than ad tbe dynamite explosions
that have shocked Great Britain, Our
friend, says the Constitution, goes onto
say that he sees the banana peel every-
-where in Atlanta, and especially on
Peachtree street Sometimes a man steps
on one, loses tms balance and oy a
mighty effort recovers himself In New 7
Orleans some serious accidents have
occurred. A lady in that city who slipped
on a banana peel has been bed-ridden
lever since. Stringent laws have been
passed there to abate the nuisance, and
now when a man eats a banana on the
street in New Orleans he always steps to
the edge of the sidewnlk and deposits the
peeling very carefully in the gutter. This
is as it should be.
To Shut Oat the Gulf Stream.
A London cable says: “The Gulf
stream has been lately treated somewhat
disrespectfully in this country, which
owes so much to it. At the beginning
of the week a lot of men of science
amused themselves with a model of it,
and now one John King proposes to shut
out what he calls its erosive action by
constructing an isthmus from a low point
in Ireland to Mull in Scotland. The
distance is only 111 miles. The sea does
not average more than 200 to 400 feet in
depth, and an isthmus would enable a
vast surface of land, at present marshy or
submerged, to be reclaimed. Scientific
bridge across the Atlantic has long
occupied an honored position.”
A Lest City.
The rushing waters of the Potomac
River, in the recent floods, destroyed a
city that never existed—Jackson City—
at the south end of the ldng bridge, op-
posite *be Washington, has D. C. The name of
town been in the mouth of com-
er ? an< ^ goers at the bridge since the ad-
ministration of Gen. Andrew Jackson,
wko laid the corner-stone of Jackson
with much formality, and with a
celebration that included all the military
and cmcorganrzations of the three Dw-
tract cities. George Washington Parke
Custis, of Arlington, the adopted son of
Gen. Washington, delivered the oration.
Tents were erecte l and the occasion was
the only gala day that Alexander's Is-
land, on which Jackson City was found-
id, ever had. Years ago a hotel was
built mar the bridge, and this was
'he only approach to a town that Jack-
son City ever made. It w as for awhile
a roadside inn. Lately it has been head¬
quarters of gamos forbidden in the Dis¬
trict. Long ago the corner-stone was
dug up and its contents carried off, and
the close of last week the rain came and
the flood undermined and mined Jackson
City.
Teeth Drawn by Electricity.
drawn People can have their superfluous teeth
by means of electricity, The
process in question is very simple, scarce
any ordinary apparatus being required beyond an
tuo-cell battery, with vibrator
attachment. This attachment is a thin
strip of metal fastened at the ends, which
is made to vibrate a thousand or icon
times per second by the electric current.
At each vibration the circuit is cut ill
and renewed again, the effect being to
give a perfectly steady flow of the mys¬
terious fluid. The patient in the chair
is given a handle to hold in each hand,
a; d the curn nt is turned on gradually
ui.til it becon es painful Then he is told
to grasp the handles as strongly as porsi-
bl<‘. the electricity—having been switched
off for a moment-is turned on again
suddenly, and the ilental surgeon applies
h s ferct ps simultaneously to the tooth.
The instant the molar is touched it, as
well as the parts surrounding, becomes
electrified and absolutely insensible to
pain. When it is withdrawn from the
socket, the subject of the opiration feels
not the slightest disagreeable sensation.
A jerk and the tooth is out, the patient
dr« ps the electric handles and -lie pain¬
less affair is over.
War on Saloonists.
The Indiana Giand Lodge of Knights
of Pythias, recently in session at Indian¬
apolis, Ind., took a step which tlueatens
to lead to great demoralization. A riso-
lution was introduced declaring that
saloon keepers should not be eligible to
membership in the order. The ensuing
discussion awakened a great deal of bit¬
ter feeling, but the reso ution was finally
adopted by a two-thirds vote. The sa¬
loon keepers and their friends immedi¬
ately appealed to the Supreme Lodge. It
is stated that nearly one-fourth ©f the
order in Indiana are either identified
with or in favor of the traffic, and if the
action of the state Grand Ledge is sus¬
der. tained, they will withdraw from the or¬
Quite a Difference.
In the red parlor of the White House
at took Washington, of D. C., a photographer of the
a picture four generations
Harrison family. The lb v. Dr. Scott
sat on the extreme right of the group,
Mrs. Harrison and Mrs. McKee came
next, and the famous Baby Benjamin
Harrison McKee completed the gather¬
ing. The latter diel his be.-t to make the
affair a failure, and if it had not b<en
for vshit is known as “the iustantancous
process,” he would hive tueceeded.
There is a difference of eighty-eight
years between the generations represented
in the picture. Dr. Scott is 88 and Baby
McKee only two years of age.
A Reported Miracle.
The celebrated Canon Wilberforce, of
London, England, belief writes miracles to a newspaper has been
that his ia
strengthened by a mbacle performed and
upon himself by means of anointing
prayer. “My internal ailment,” he
writes, “was of such a nature that lead¬
ing surgeons declared it to be incurable
except at the cost of a severe operat on.
At last I sent for elders—men of God,
full of faith—by whom I was prayed
over and anointed, and in a few weeks
the internal ailment passed entirely
away.” 4he canon takes “the Lord’s pains to say
that he was healed by bless¬
ing upon His own word.”
Why He Hates ’Em.
Miss Pyrte: “What makes you such a
coufirmeil woman-hater, Mr. Oiel ach?”
Mr. Olebach: “Well, when I was a
young man a woman made a fool of me.”
Miss Pyrle: “And you never got over
it.”
TnE Paris Exposition has brought sad¬
ness to a large ps.rt of the shopkeepers,
the re-t iuraut keepers and the theatrical
managers who find ihat ihe show 7 drains
the boulevards, and that their business is
reduced in a manner unknown since the
siege. Even in such gn at restaurants as
the Cafe Anglais or Voisin’s th y find
that their patrons dine at the Exposition.
So a committee of all these interests
lately waited upon the ministry in order
to git the Exposition closed at night,hut
they got refused.
Profiting by the recent events at Sa¬
moa, when the treasure of the ur eked
Trenton was iccovered by means of a
diving apparatus borrowed from the
British man-of-war Callhq e, the U. S.
Navy Department has determined to
equip each of our n.val vessels with a
compl ete diving apparatus. A fubma-
ritie diver is also to be detailed ns part ol
the complement of each vessel in com-
mission,
The Patterson Mills Co., of Che-itcr,
Pa., is looking out !or a Sou hern loca¬
tion for a spinning mill of 10,000 spin¬
dles. 'Ihe capital introduced into the
city selected will be $250,000, and great
impetus will also he given to an industry
pccul.arly adapted to the South.
The Pi -monte, the latest Italian cruis¬
er, built on the Tyne, England, must U
as f^t as anything afloat. With an or-
dinary draught she made 20.4 knots,
and under forced draught 22.3 knots per
hour,
Aro you troubled with a slunrjjfish. inactive
Are you bilious? Do you suffer from
Has your complexion a sickly, yel¬
tinge? The blood in its passage through
liver does not furnish the healthy action
should result from it. The impurities
stopped, and clogging np the duct, cause a
condition, which will produce seri¬
results to your health, unless yon take
Iron Bitters at once. It will cure
biliousness and Jaundice, and incite to
action the sluggish liver.
In the U. 8. there are 275 ladies who are or¬
as clergymen and preach.
Distanced in the Race.
Why should Dr. Pierce’s medicines not dis¬
tance ail competitors in amount of sales, as
they are doing, s neo they are the only medi¬
cines sold by druggists possewsel of such won¬
derful curative properties as to warrant their
manufacturers in guarant"eir.g fiern ti cure
the diseases for which th >y arc rcoowniccded.
lougetacure or money said for them re-
The Doctor’s ”G lden Medical D:s-
coverj cures all diseases caused bv dc auge-
mentof the liver, a- biliousness, indices i n or
dyspepsia; also all blood, skin and sea p dis-
swellings eases, tetter, aalt-rh *um. scrofulous sores and
and kindred ailment-*.
Don’t hawk, hawk, and blow, blow, disgust¬
Remedy ing everybody, and but use Dr. Saco’s Catarrh
he cured.
The police of Paris forbid the employment
of women in the cafes at the Exposition.
Torpid ldver.
It is hardly possible to prepare a medicine
which is pleasant to the palate as are Ham¬
burg Figs, or which is so oiticacious in cases of
constipation, piles, torpid liver or sick-bead-
aolie. 25 cents. Dose one Fig. Meek Drug
Co., N. Y.
Oregon, lire I'nrndUc of Farmers.
Mild, equable c imate, certain and abundant
crops. Pest fruit, grain, grass and stock
country in tlie world. Full information free.
Address Oreg. Im’igr’t’n Board, Portland, Ore.
Ali, diseases and disorders pceiFia r to
women are cured bv the timely use of B rail-
field's Female Regulator. So d by druggists.
A Fair Trial
Of Hood's Sarsaparilla will convince any reasonable
person that It does ixissess great medicinal merit.
We (w. uot claim that every bottle will accomplish a
mtracl*., but we do know that nearly every bottle,
taken according to directions, does produce positivo
benefit. Its peculiar curative power Is shown by
many remarkable cures.
“I was run down from close application to work,
but was told I had malaria and was dosed with
quinine, etc., which was useless. I decided to take
Hood's Sarsaparilla and am now feeling strong and
cheerful. I feel satisfied it will benefit any who
give It a fair trial.”—W. R. Ccamisit, SCI Spring St.,
New York City.
Hood’s Sarsaparilla
Sold by all druggists. $1; six for $5. Prepared only
by C. I. HOOD & CO., Apothecaries, Lowell, Mam.
ICO Doses One Dollar
DROPSY TREATED
FREE!
Positively Cured with Vexetable Kt-iiirilies.
Have cured many thousand cases. Cure patle Fr nts
pronounced hopeless by the beat physicians. out
first doso symptoms rapidly disappear, and in ten
days at least two-thirds of all symptoms are re¬
moved. Send for free book of testimonials of mir¬
aculous cures. Ten days’ treatment furnished free
by mall. If you order trial, send 10 cents In stamps
to pay postage. Dr. H. H. Oricf.s & Sons, Atlauta, Ga.
RADFIELDS^
-FBMiVIjB-
REGULATOR
Cures all Diseases Peculiar to Women!
Book to “Woman” Mailed Fkee.
BKADFIKLD KEUULATOU C<*., ATLANTA, GA.
Sold by all Ducggists.
Plantation Engines
With Self-Contained
. RETURN FLUE BOILERS,
I (COTTON FOR DRIVING
GINS and MILLS.
f Illustrated Pamphlet Free. Addresa
dJAMES LEFFEL & CO.
1 SPRINGFIELD, OHIO,
^or JIO Liberty Bfc., New York*
DUTCH ER’S
i FLYRILLEE
Makes a clean sweep. Every
IV sheet will kill a quart of files.
Stops buzzing around ears,
diving at eyes, tickling your
nose, skips hard words and se¬
cures peace at trifling 3 expense.
Keml 33 cent a for sheets to
F. DUTIUIKK, St. Albans, Vt.
3NT. C.
Nashville, Tenn. College for Ycong Latiiss,
In the leading school of this section. Bc/tan IBW)
with 60 pupils, without grounds or buildings of its
own. Now has 3 buildings, ISO rooms, 20 offices, 3AJ
pupils front IS States. Full couree in Literature,
Science, Art, equipped Music, privileges in Vandcrbuiit Lni-
conveniences. versity. fully Gymnasium, and nil modern
For catalogue address 1’resideut.
Rev. Gso. W. F. Price, D. D., Nashville, Tonn.
Road Carts! EVERYTHiHS ON WHEELS.
10 pw cent cheaper Buggies!
than anybody.
CWDoL’t buy bafore getting our prices and cat*
lo«a. Nmm THE GEO. W. »TO< KELL CO..
tli.* paper. NASUViLi.E. TK.N#
W I W to S* 3 # a MONTH cal u be made vvorklu.'v
for ua. Agents preferred who furnish
a horse and give their whole time to the business.
Spare moments may be profitably employed also.
A few vacancies In towns and cities. U. F. JOHN-
SON ft CO., 1009 Main St., Richmond, Va. If. B.~
Pirate state agr and. butinrtt experience. Never
mind about tending stamp for reply. V. F. J. dk Co.
WASHINGTON INFORMATION BUREAU,
COLE dk DREIILE, Proprietors,
932 I Mtreet N. W.. Wiialiington. I>. C.
General information furnished.
Correspondence solicited.
) Smithdeal <2 Vrsq.T'm--™" J5WS:
practical g
COLLEGE, Richmond, P 2 StO *’ 1 '* 4
Va.
I nt opfii to nrogressivo students. All interested
i” sssssaf jbk. Maas.
DETECTIVES
Wanted in every County- Shrewd men to act under instructions
in our Secret Service. Experience not necessary. Particulars frea.
Grannitn Detective Bureau Co.44 Artti9,Cincimiiti.!X
WANTED —Every one to inveitis ite; lead S'l.HJ
judicious y invested will for t i
a fortune; an opportan ty
people Ti with It iim Ac ted VO■, mens. Kn Send s ( amp for Mo. particu.ari.
l.:. lilt iH 113,
INVENTORS ■ Waaliliirt.u, I). C., will receive a copy
•f title publlcaii.ii free ef clturtte.
Dr^orsIIIUP^
A p in §8 it «l«y. Samp m worth iSSi.13 l-'ron.
tSlIslerS -b Lines not tinder h-irso's foot. Write lire w~
tlelr Ki-iri Mo der Co..Holly.Mich.
IS YOUR FARM FOR SALE?:
If so address Ccutib A W right, 233 Broadway, N,Y.
A gents wanted. %1 an hour. 50 new art i<t es. Cat’lene
LY and sample free. O.E. M ABSHALI, Buffalo, N. Y.
T> JL \l..iri«i III M. CUI.I.KGK, Piii adelphia. Pa.
scholarship and position-, g.xu. Wnt* for circular.
PEERLESS DIES &?£&£££
I prescribe and foil" en¬
dorse Big <1 as th* only
pCnrwIn specific forthe certain euro
1 TO 5 DATS. , o.hJingraham.m. d..
IutuimI bo« t»
Amsterdam, r*. i.
Mf a only byth* We have sold Big G for
tnu CioakalQa. many years, and it nas
m given the best of 6at:s-
Ohio.
Trade I SI.00. Sold by Drnggiet*.
A. N. U...... .......Twenty-five, ’83