Newspaper Page Text
THE NEWS.
TOCCOA, GEORGIA.
About five thousand Dakota Indians
will become lull fledged citizens as soon
as lands are allotted to them in severalty.
It is announced that Secretary Blaine,
in consultation with United States Minis¬
ter Ryan, has arranged a comprehensive
plan for the promotion of reciprocal
trade between this country and Mexico.
The latter Government will unquestion¬
ably accept.
Suicide as a risk to life decreases rap¬
idly after the thirty-fifth year, and the
very old take their own lives as rarely a*
the very young. Under ten and over
seventy years of age, suicide is extremely
rare and takes an insignificant place in
the statistical tables.
The American nation uses more soap
per capita than any other on the globe.
Where the English uses four pounds per
head we use five and a half, No other
nation uses over three pounds to our five.
Italy uses least of all, and Russia beats
her only by a few ounces.
Cremation is coming more and more
into vogue iu Germany, in spite of the
expense and certain legal difficulties
which render its performance in some
parts almost an impossibility. At Gotha
no fewer than one hundred bodies have
been cremated during the present year.
The nickel-in-the-slot contrivance has
been utilized for the sale of postage
stamps. A machine has been invented
which will produce a two-cent stamp
when two pennies are placed in the slot.
There are also machines so contrived that
a large number of stamps can be obtained
when ten or fifty-cent pieces are used.
1'he inventor of the machine wants the
[government, to adopt it.
The number of persons employed last
year in and about mines in the United
Kingdom under the coal mines regula¬
tion act was 534,935, of whom 3935
were women working aboveground. In
these mines there were 821 fatal acci¬
dents and 888 deaths, the number of
accidents being nine less than in the pre¬
ceding year, and the number of deaths
107 less.
Miss Mamie Isdcli, a dashing Missouri
young woman of twenty-two years, has
just been married to Jesse Fovel, of
Calhoun County, Ill. Mr. Fovel, who is
seventy-nine years of age, was compelled
to give his bride $100,000 in securities
and money. Miss Isdell, who was edu¬
cated in a convent, is a very beautiful
girl. The groom has grandchildren older
than his new bride.
A Hebrew colonization society number¬
ing 500 members has been organized
within the last two months in Pittsburg.
The organization is known as the
“Lovers of Zion,” and its object is to
colonize Palestine with American
Hebrews. About 1800 colonists have
gone from this country already for this
purpose. This is the outgrowth of a
movement begun in Europe several years
•go among the Hebrews of the middle
and lower classes lo encourage emigration
to Palestine to once more make Jerusalem
the capital of the Orient. The leading
Hebrews in this country, it is said, are
opposed to the movement.
Unlike most countries, China holds
the suicide in honor, and by her law’s ex¬
tends to him the most lenient considera¬
tion, having regard in all eases to the
motive which prompted self-slaughter.
The motive is uot uufrequently revenge,
as the Chinese law’ requires the house¬
holder on whose premises the dead body
is found not only to provide the funeral
expenses, but to compensate the relatives
of the deceased. As suicide is thus a
means of rescuing one's relatives from
poverty, it has been made in China a fine
art. A curious development of it is the
practice of offering one's self as a sub¬
stitute for a person under sentence of
death. This vicarious payment of legal
penalties is, of course, much appreciated
by rich criminals who are enamored of
iffe.
Secretary Rusk, although not the first
Secretary of Agriculture to sit. in au
American Cabinet, is the first to issue an
annual report. The Washington Star
asserts that “it will attract general atten¬
tion from the fact that it enters with
*ome minuteness into subjects which
ihow the real value to the country of
such a department, conducted with skill
at the executive end of the line and lib¬
erality at the Congressional end. It is
ridiculous to claim that the usefulness
of a piece of governmental machinery
like this one ends with the collection of
statistics and few general advisory func¬
tions. The Secretary proposes to raise
his department from that level. He
wants a national meat inspection law, for
example, which shall enable public offi¬
cers to locate the centre of any disease
which breaks out among American cattle,
and prevent the shipments of live and
dead meats unfit for consumption. An¬
other excellent recommendation is that
the forestry interests of the Government
be given more intelligent attention As
are now, there is absolutely no way
in which timber thefts ami forest fires
can be prevented; and the loss to the
Government irom these sources, as shown
hj Chief leraow’s figures os repeated
bivatn yes, Am Uk-
ol a fair suji-fThfco i,,."
CURRENT NEWS.
CONDENSED FROM THE TELE¬
GRAPH AND CABLE.
THINGS THAT HAPPEN FROM DAY TO DAY
THROUGHOUT THE WORLD, CULLED
FROM VARIOUS SOURCES.
Adelina Marquis de Caux. formerly husband of
Patti, is dead.
A pay car was wrecked near Covington,
Ind., Monday, and two railroad official's
killed. *
were
C. L. J. Myer, Sons A Co., dealers in
mantels,g rates, etc., iu Chicago, III.,
have made an assignment.
Three thousand miners employed in
eollcries at Oldbury, England, have given
notice that they will strike unless they
arc granted au increase of ten per cent in
their wages.
Patrick Sullivan, employed by the
Manhattan Electric Light Compai y, was
instantly killed Saturday morning by an
electric shock, while at work in th com¬
pany's building.
W. F. Camp, the most extensiv mer¬
chant in Polk ton, N. Y., made an assign¬
ment Saturday. His liabilities and assets
arc not yet known, but both are s aid to
Ik: heavy, and near the same.
A passenger train on the Missouri
Pacific railroad collided with a freight
train near Pleasant Hill, Missouri, Friday
night, and two tramps stealing a ride be¬
tween the tender and mail cars were
crushed to pulp.
One hundred and thirty printers from
Berlin have been engaged to t;>k; the
places of the strikers in Berne. The
Baud and three other journals have con¬
solidated and will be issued under the
title of the Normal Gazette.
Warren Leland, Jr., hotel proprietor at
Long Branch, N. J., on Friday made an
assignment of all his property, including
the Ocean hotel, Ocean theater, Ocean
club house, etc., for the benefit of his
creditors. His liabilities are $225,000.
At a mass meeting of Knights of La¬
bor held at Wilkesbarre, Pa., on Satur¬
day, a resolution was passed to the effect
that a demand of 20 per cent, advance
in wages be made February 1st. The
meeting was largely attended and com¬
posed of miners and laborers only.
John I?. Rauch, Jr., who has for some¬
time past conducted a savings bank at
Baltimore, was on Saturday reported to
have disappeared with all his depositors’
money. The depositors in the bank wen
composed mainly of poor persons, and
the average amounts were from $3 to $20.
Warehouse 14, at Baltimore, Md.,
owned by the Sadtler estate, was dam¬
aged by fire Saturday morning to the ex¬
tent of $15,000. Martinez <fc Co., cigai
manufacturers., John It. Korb & Co.,
jewellers, ami George R. Willig & Co.,
dealers in musical instruments, occupied
the building.
Monday afternoon at New York, twe
hundred and fifty white men, employed
as longshoremen at the National Line
pier stopped work suddenly because ne¬
groes were being employed by the same
company. A week ago three negro hands
and one white man were burned to death
in the big lire at this pier.
Monday The Post-Dispatch of St. Louis on
morning, printed, under flaming
headlines, a five-column expose of alleged
legislative corruption at Jefferson City,
Mo. It claims that the live stock inspec¬
tion bill, introduced by the St. Louis
Butchers’ union in the last legislature, was
defeated by the absolute purchase of state
senators.
Ferry, In a blinding snow storm at Little
N. J., Saturday, a heavy coal train
plunged into the Hackensack river,
through an open drawbridge. The en¬
gine went out of sight, carrying with it
the engineer, fireman and one brakeman.
The snow prevented the engineer from
seeing the danger signals, and nothing
could be done to stop him.
At New York Saturday morning the
commissioner of public works, Gilroy,
sent out four gangs of men to cut down
the poles and wires of the electric light
companies. Inspectors of the board cf
electric control accompanied them to point
out the poles on which the dangerous
wires were strung. The companies are
actively seeking another injunction.
The Exchange elevators at Buffalo, N.
Y., with a storage capacity of 350,000
bushels, the property of Greene & Bloom¬
er, together with 250,000 bushels of bar¬
ley, were totally destroyed by fire Monday
morning. The elevator was most eliigibly
located and the best equipped of any in
Buffalo. The barley was valued at $125,-
000 and the elevator at $100,000.
Delegates representing the mule spin¬
ners of New Jersey and the New England
states held a convention at Fall River,
Mass., on Sunday, and formed a confed¬
eration to be called the National Mule
Spinners’ Association of America, An
endeavor is to be made to obtain uniform
standard wages throughout the United
States, as the organization believe that to
be the fairest plan for both manufactur¬
ers and operators.
Three separate glycerine magazines
blew up Monday morning at North Clar¬
endon. Pa. The amount of glycerine ex¬
ploded was over ten tons. The maga¬
zines were owned by Hie Rock Glycerine
company, John Kunn and a Mr. McKay.
No one, so far as can be learned, was in¬
jured. Nearly every window in Claren¬
don was broken, and much damage done
to surrounding property. The loss is
estimated at $100,000. Oil men claim it
to be the largest explosion of the kind iu
the history of the oil regions.
OVATION TO COL POLK.
-IE IS GIVEN A GRAND RECEPTION BY THE
FARMERS OF NORTH CAROLINA.
The Farmer's Alliance had a demonstra¬
tion at Raleigh, N. C., on Friday, upon
the arrival of the president of the Na¬
tional Farmers and Laborers' Union, Col.
Polk, from St. Louis. Colonel Polk was
escorted to the city hall by a procession
iu which were many public men aud offi¬
cers of the State and county Alliances,
and a mounted escort of members of Oak-
ridge Alliance, of which he is a charter
member. A. C. Green, president of the
Wake County Alliance,presided, ard Cal.
Polk was greeted with great applause
when he entered, accompanied by Acting
Governor Holt. President Green vrel-
corned him, as did also Governor Holt and
Mayor Thompson. Addresses were made by
State Labor Commissioner Searboro, Pres-
tdent Tounoffskie, of the Knights of La-
bor, Trustees Broughton aud W. H. S.
Burgwva, of the State Agricultural aud
Mechanical college, and other prominent
men. In response Col. Polk delivered a
forcible and eloquent address, among
other things sating, this demonstration
of approval bv hiT neighbors ws»s more
gratifying position. to him than hjs election to the
high
-----
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THE JURY’S VERDICT.
TIIE CROXTN CASE BROCGIIT TO A CLOSE—
THE VERDICT “GUILTY.”
One of the most memorable trials in the
criminal history of America, closed at
Chicago Monday afternoon, when the jury
impanelled three months ago rendered its
verdict in the Cronin case. That the re¬
turn of this jury is a verdict, and not a
disagreement, is a source of much con¬
gratulation in the public mind, and,
although there is naturally much division
of sentiment on the question of approval
of the verdict, the sense of relief which is
experienced is at the final eolmination of tlit
case unanimous.
On last Friday the case was given to
the jury and up to Monday morning nc
verdict had been agreed ujjoii. Rumors ol
all kinds had been afloat Monday. How¬
ever erroneous it may be, the public ap¬
peared to have hastily arrived at ttic
conclusion that there was to be a disa¬
greement.
As the court convened at 2 p. m. to re¬
ceive the verdict of the jury, there was a
momentary silence as the vast audience
breathlessly awaited the first words ol
Judge McConnell as he mounted the ros¬
trum. The verdict was as follows:
“We, the jury, find the defendant,
John F. Bcggs, not guilty. We. tlit
jury, find the defendant, John Kunze,
guilty indictment, of manslaughter, as charged in the
and fix liis punishment at im¬
prisonment in the penitentiary for tin
term of three years. We, the jury, find
the defendants, Daniel Coughlin, Patrick
O’Suliivan and Martin Burke, guilty ol
murder in the manner and form as charged
in the. indictment, and fix the penalty at
imprisonment their in the penitentiary for tin
term of natural lives.” Simulta¬
neous with the announcement of the ver¬
dict, Coughlin, O'Sullivan and Burke
turned deathly pale, while Kunze started
suddenly from his seat, and a moment
later dropped his head upon his breast and
burst into tears.
SOUTHKRN NOTE'.
INTERESTING NEWS FROM ALL
POINTS IN THE SOUTH.
GENERAL PROGRESS AND OCCURRENCES
WHICH ARE HAPPENING BELOW MA¬
SON’S and dixon’s line.
The Virginia senate, on Friday, passed
a bill repealing the law opening Hog Is¬
land Flats for planting oysters.
The jury in the Kilrain rase, at Purvis,
Miss., on Saturday, returned a verdict of
not guilty of prize figh ing, but guilty of
assault and battery. T.iev were out live
hours.
Hon. Thomas F. Bayard, ex-secretary
of state, has accepted an invitation of the
deliver Huguenot society, of South Carolina, to
the anniversary oration of the so¬
ciety at Charleston, April 13.
A large tubular boiler at Randall &
Bro.’s saw mill, Covington, Tenn., ex¬
ploded Saturday, completely demolishing
the building and killing Fireman Jones
and Mr. Stuart, one of the firm, Two
other employes were seriously hurt.
Western nail manufacturers to the num¬
ber of fourteen mills met in Wheeling,
W. Va., Friday morning and after a long
discussion over the condition of trade,
advances in raw material, etc., concluded
to advance the price of nails to $2.25
net,
A strike occurred at Chattanooga,
Tenn., on Saturday, of eighty-five brick¬
layers in the employ of D. J. Chandler,
and sixty-three stonecutters in the employ
of the Chattanooga stone and marble
cutting company, A difference of five
cents an hour on Saturday was the cause.
Half a dozen fanners, who were return¬
ing to their home from Dallas, Texas,
after selling their cotton, were robbed by
highwaymen on the road near White
Rock. Bloodhounds were put on their
track, and a report has reached Dallas
that two of the robbers were captured and
hanged by the enraged farmers.
General Manager Bond, of the Tennes¬
see Coal, Iron and Railroad company,
returned from New York Friday morning,
and, after conferring with a committee
of Pratt Mines miners, all differences
were arranged, and the miners agreed to
return to work at the present prices.
Their wages are to be raised as the price
of iron advances.
Advices Saturday from Key West indi¬
cate that the cigar strike is further from
settlement than ever. The men are better
organized and are receiving daily large
sums from other labor organizations,
They lose nothing but their wages, wliile
the manufacturers are losing their profits,
having their trade broken up and being
subjected to monthly expenses of over
$1,000 each. The strikers now laugh at
at every attempt at a compromise.
A successful test of a new fibre dceorti-
cator, invented bv Mr. J. J. Green, of
Jackson, Miss., was made Saturday. Its
principle is to split the stalk of ramie or
hemp, and then strip the fibre the length
of the st ilk without loss. The machine,
in crude form, was tested in Paris, in
1888, and was awarded four hundred
francs prize money. It decorticates green
or dry ramie, separates fibre from herbs,
and with two men will work about 100,-
000 stalks in ten hours, or half an acre a
day.
criminal negligence.
A RAILROAD WATCHMAN CAUSES FOUR
MEN TO LOSE THEIR LIVES.
When one of the fast New York and
Washington express trains on the Balti¬
more and Potomoc arrived at Washing¬
ton Saturday night, the dead body of a
man was found on the cow-catcher of the
engine. It was subsequently learned that
the train had run into a wagon filled with
countrymen on the outskirts of the city.
Four men were killed—two white and
two colored—and one colored man was
badly-injured. The men were in a cov¬
ered wagon and drove across the track
without concern, as the guard gates were
open. The watchman at the crossing,
whose duty it was to close the gate at the
charge approach of a train, was arrested on the
of manslaughter.
THE INFLUENZA.
THE DREADED DISEASE HAS APPEARED IN
THIS COUNTRY.
-
The influenza has appeared in Now
York city. It is stated that the disease is
the same as that which has spread over
Europe. Thus far eight cases have been
reported to the health department, and
they are all iu one family. In all cases
the symptoms are said to be identical.
Health officers say they are nnt surprised
at its appearance here. It is not danger-
ons, but if it tend* to become epidemic
all cases will be quarantined. The treat-
went is the spraying of the affected mem-
broae freely and frequently with a solu-
tion of quinine an a internal admiBistre.
to sf quiniye, beUadcsga and camphor,
— — "----=-
y ou should subscribe this paper
by ai! "
ra*ftfi§, • ■
AT THE CAPITAL.
WHAT THE FIFTY-FIBST CON¬
GRESS IS DOING.
APPOINTMENTS BY PRESIDENT HARRISON—
MEASURES OF NATIONAL IMPORTANCE
AND ITEMS OF GENERAL INTEREST.
All of Monday’s nominations, several
hundred in number, were of persons ap¬
pointed to office during the recess of con¬
gress.
The House joint resolution for print¬
ing agricultural report for 1889 amend¬ was
passed in the Senate Monday with
ments fixing the number of cop c? at
4< 0,000, and appropriating $200,000 for
expense's.
The deficiencies sub-committee of the
appropriations committee began to work
Friday by preparing an urgent deficiency
bill to meet a dificiency of about $150,000
in the government printing office, and of
$350,000 for the printing needed by the
census office.
The Pan-American conference, on Fri¬
day, completed the wyrk of formulating
rules and appointing committees, and ad¬
journed until January 2. Meantime the
delegates w ill visit New York and other
points. It is said that several or the subjects com¬
mittees expect to report upon the
assigned to them at the re-assembling of
the conference January 2.
The house committee on elections
held its first meeting and effected
organization Friday morning. A sub¬
committee on rules was selected, consist¬
ing of the chairman, Messrs. Honk, Coop¬
er, Chrisp and fl’Ferrall. This sub¬
committee will be charged with the ar¬
rangement of the seventeen contested
election cases now awaiting settlement.
The committee will meet again subject to
call, when the sub-committee is ready to
report.
Mr. Platt offered resolutions making
changes and additions in the personnel and of
committees, agreed to in caucus,
which have been published. All agreed
to. Mr. Call offered a resolution (which
was referred io the judiciary committee) Ch
as to the constitutional district right judge of the les
Swaync, appointed of
northern district of Florida, to
exercise the duties of that office, with¬
out confirmatory action by the Senate.
The senate then proceeded to the consid¬
eration of executive business. The eon-
current resolution offered by Mr. Ingalls
last week for a holiday recess from Thurs¬
day, December 19, to Monday, January
6, was taken up for action. Mr. Edmunds
demanded the yeas and nays upon it, ex¬
pressing bis own opposition to it. The
resolution was agreed to—yeas, 47; nays,
12 .
The annual report of the commissioner
of internal revenue shows that the num¬
ber of saloon-keepers in the country is
much less than it was three years ago.
More than that, it shows that exports of
liquor are also reduced fully twenty per
cent as compared with five or six years
ago. The number of persons dealing in
malt liquors exclusively has also fallen off
within the past two or three years, the
reduction of these being fully forty per
cent. The reduction in the number of
dealers in liquors has been especially
marked in the south. In every one of the
■southern states excepting Maryland, there
has been a decrease. In Georgia there
has been a reduction of nearly forty per
cent, and in Tennessee about twenty-five
per cent. The number of liquor dealers
in the United States, wholesale and retail,
is about 180,000. Three years ago they
numbered about 205,000.
another death trap.
A PANIC IN TnE THEATRE BUILDING IN
UNFORTUNATE JOHNSTOWN.
During the performance of “Uncle
Tom’s Cabin” at the Park opera house at
Johnstown, Pa., Tuesday night the cry
of fire was raised, resulting in a terrible
rush down the narrow stairs. About a
score of persons were instantly killed and
many terribly injured. People rushed
from, the outside up the narrow stairs
(and forcing were its crushed by the the crowd
way to street.
Seventy-five person were injured.
When the crowd was driven away, the
following persons were found dead upon
the stairs: Miss Clara Burns, Mrs. Nes-
ter, George Herner, Charles Fiant, John
Carr, Mrs. Lester, John Miller, A. Weiss,
John Wayman, Richard Worthington,
Isaac Tolar, an unknown woman.
Among the seriously injured were Charles
Yaugh, Albert Owens, and a man named
Wiemer. There are about thirty others
injured, but their names cannot be ascer¬
tained. The alarm was false and there
are many threats against the unknown
man who started it.
PHOSPHATE BEDS.
A SCHEME ON FOOT TO SELL THEM TO K
SYNDICATE OR TRUST.
The rews of the development of a pro¬
ject in Columbia, 8. C., looking to the
outright sale by the State of all its right,
title and interest in the phosphate beds,
for a sum uot less than seven million dol¬
lars, lias caused a stir in the phosphate
mation exchange at Charleston. The first inti¬
of the project was the introdue
tion of the bill in the legislature by the
ways and means commi ttee on Friday.
The phosphate industry is the principal
industry of Charleston. Milhous of dol¬
lars are invested in it by natives, north¬
erners and foreigners. Most of the fer¬
tilizer works of Europe and America get
their supplies there. The deposits on the
streams are moved by companies who pay
the State a royalty of about one dollar a
ton, the revenue to the State amounting
to about $200,000 a year. Should the
State dispose of its interest, the pur¬
chasers would be at liberty to inerea: e
this royalty to any figure, as there is no
restriction in the proposed bill.
THE LABOR FEDERATION.
MEET IN BOSTON. MASS., 4ND ELECT OFFI-
CERS FOR THE ENS uft'G YEAR.
The National Federation of Labor, at
Boston, Mass., on Saturday, elected the
following officers: President, Samuel
Gompers, of New York; W. II. Martin,
of the Amalgamated Association of Iron
and Steel Workers, United first vice-president; Brother¬
P. Maguire, of the States
hood of Carpenters and Joiners, second
vice-president; and Christopher Evans, of
Miners Mine Laborers. Secretary:
Henry Einrich, of Furniture Makers un¬
ion. treasurer. for After selecting Detroit the as
the place the next year’s meeting,
federation adjourned.
MOVEMENT OF SPECIE
--
York Exports last week of specie amounted from the port $299,035, of New
to
u f which $49,235 was gold, and $247,SCO
silver, Qi tin total export $1,200 in gold
and $225,630 is slider went to Europe
and $49,035 in gold and $22,220 in silver
to amounted South America, $29,028, Imports of which of $U>8G1 specie
to
wm in gold aad $17,107 silver,
BUDGET OF FUN.
aUMOROUS SKETCHES FROM
VARIOUS SOURCES.
sufficient For Him—Another Broken
Friendship—Lived in a Glass
House—Hardly Satisfactory-
Repartee, Etc., Etc.
The hop and the German,
The mad social whirl,
Will soon entertain
The society girl.
But her juvenile brother
With natural vim.
Pronounces the snow-ball
Sufficient for him.
—Merchant Traveler.
ANOTHER BROKEN FRIENDSHIP.
Miss Effie Ancee (just engaged’)—
“What do you think Edwin said last
niglut ? That if he had to choose either
me or a million dollars, he wouldn t even
look at the million.”
Miss May Tour (still waiting)—
“Dear, loyal fellow! I suppose he didn’t
like to risk the temptation."— Time.
LIVED IN A GLASS HOUSE.
Mrs. Badger—“You must have a nice
kind of a mother if she lets you fight in
the street like this and get a black eye. ”
Little Johnny—“I was fighting with
vour boy, ma’am, and he s got two black
eyes .”—New York Sun.
HARDLY SATISFACTORY.
Guest (angrily)—“Confound your
awkwardness! You’ve spilt half that soup
down my back.”
Waiter at restaurant (heartily)—
“Don’t mind it, sir. I'll bring some
more. Bless you, there’s plenty of soup.”
— Chicago Tribune.
REPARTEE.
“My!” quoth Mr. Jones. “Pans
when full accommodates four millions of
people.”
“Humph!” said Mrs. Jones, “That's
four million times more accommodating
than you are when full.”— Munsc>/s
Weekly.
A STRONG RESEMBLANCE.
Milkman—“I wantsome cream paper.”
Stationer—“Here, sir, is what iike you
want, I think. It looks very much
the cream you've been furnishing me—
very thin and very white.”— Puck.
IT WAS TOUGH.
i 4 What’s the matter with the beef¬
steak?” asked tire landlady.
“I don’t know,” replied the new
boarder; “but I have a horrible suspi-
cion that the cow was affected with gen¬
eral ossification.”
A SURE SIGN.
“Jones,” said Suivthe, as he watched
a couple strolling near, “that is a first
love affair.”
“How do you know?”
“I just heard her make him promise
not to smoke or drink.”— Time.
A PROFESSIONAL SHINER.
Gazzam (imitating a passer-by)—“That
young man shines a good deal iu soci¬
ety.”
Dolly—“Ah! Who is he?”
Gazzam—“Don't know his name; but
he’s a bootblack.”— Munsey's Weekly.
RESTRICTED.
Her Husband—“Are you going to the
Smith's garden party, dear?”
rii.-> Wife—“No; I never accept invi- .
tat ions from people who don t know me.”
“And you never receive them from
persons who do know you. London
vu-nny Lois.
EXAGGERATION.
“I think Cora Fibbery is awful. She
exaggerates so.”
“That’s so. Are you going down
town now?”
“No, my head aches as though ten
million knives were running through it.
I’ll stay and finish this novel.”— Time.
FOUND IT IN THE DARK.
Landlord—“Well, sir, how did you
find your bed last night?”
Surly Guest—“Find it! Just like
anybody else that didn’t know where the
matches were. Groped around and
barked my shins. Drat a hotel where
the halls aren’t lighted !”—Burlington
Free Press.
SURE TO MAKE A SALE.
Miss Passee (aged forty)—“I w’ish to
see a bonnet.”
Milliner—“For yourselve, miss?”
Miss Passee—“Yes.”
Milliner—“Marie, run dow’n stairs and
get r/.e ze hats for zee ladies between
eighteen and twenty-five years.”— Mun¬
sey's Weekly.
THE MONIED MAN.
Croesus (to hotel proprietor)—“Can
you accommodate me by cashing a check
for $10,000?”
Hotel Proprietor—“Ten thousand dol-
lars! Why, I never saw so much money
in my life! However, my ^porter is
around somewhere, and he will doubt-
less be glad to accommodate you.”—
Time.
NOT A COMPLETE SEPARATION.
Mother—“Johnny, I don’t want you
to play with that little Brownjones boy
any longer; do you hear?”
Johnny—“ Yes’m. ”
4 4 Now, don’t let me hear of you dis¬
obeying me.”
”No‘m, but I may fight him, mayn’t I,
if I want to?”— Punch.
HEARD HDI ONCE.
Bilks—“Come up and hear our new
minister to-day.”'
Nobbs—“No, thanks; I heard him
once and have always regretted it.”
Bilks—“Why, I guess you are mis¬
taken.”
Nobbs—“Not a bit of it; he is the
minister who married us .”—Kearney En¬
terprise.
FELT NO PAIN HIMSELF.
Patient—“I . thought—ouch! I thought
your sign said gee whiz. be careful
that you ‘extracted teeth without pain.’
Dentist— “Certainly, my friend ”
Patient -But wow! what c.o you
call this?”
Dentist—“I am extracting the teeth
a4 d I assure you that I feel no pain
whatever. ~4
SaTQpSU ?EkSON,
“Bub, ho- f u It to the daypo?”
he asked of ., avenue
jesterday,
“Daypo is French, isn’t it?” queried
the bov in reply.
“Yes.”
“Then you’d better ask some French-
man. You couldn't find it in English.”
—Detroit Free Press.
THE FINAL COUNT.
“There, darling, the last one," said he,
as he started down the steps.
He had nearly reached the gate when
she called him back.
‘•I've just been counting up,” she
said, “and that last kiss we took was the
thirteenth, and that is an awfully un¬
lucky number, you know.”
When he finally got away the score
was thirty-seven.— Terre llante Express.
A LONG ENGAGEMENT.
She—“I haven't anything new to sing
to you to-night, George.”
He—“Well, give me something of old
then. ’
She broke into a refrain that, was “*
song of the day” seventeen years before.
He (at the close)—“That's very, very
old, Clara.”
She—“Yes, George; I sang that to you
the night we became engaged.”— Judge.
THE WORM TURNED.
Mr. Bully Ragg—“Now, sir, you have
stated under oath, that this man had the
appearance of a gentleman. Will you be
good enough to tell the jury how a gen¬
tleman looks, in your estimation?”
Down-trodden Witness—“Well, er—a
gentleman looks—er—like—ar—”
Mr. Bully Ragg—“I don't want any of
your ers, sir; and remember that you are
on oath. Can you see anybody in this
court room who looks like a gentle¬
man?”
Witness (with sudden asperity)—“I
can if you'll stand out of the way.
You're not transparent.”— Puck.
HIS NARROW ESCAPE.
Emma—“No, George, it cannot be.
We must part. (Bitterly.) 3 y purse-
proud father will not accept a poor man
for his son-in-law.”
George (frantically)—“Say not so. I
cannot give thee up. My heart will
break. I-”
(Purse proud father enters the room
without observing them. Throws him¬
self into a chair and groans aloud)—
“Bankruptcy , Ruin! Every dollar
s w'ept !Vwa > .
George (sweeping himself away at
these words)—“Farewell, then Emma,
since you discard me. (But he says to
himself)—Mighty narrow escape, that.”
—Texas Siftings.
SO THERE WAS.
“Do you mean to sav,”.he protested to
the young St. Thomas man who had just
got back, “that you were in New York
citv a whole week and didn't get
robbed?”
“That’s what I say.”
“Didn’t get confideneed ?’
“No, sir.”
“Didn't lose your watch?”
“No, sir.”
“Didn’t get buncoed?”
“No, sir.”
“And got out all right?’
“I did.”
“Well, there’s something mighty
strange way back of it somewhere.”
“So there is. I hadn’t a watch nor a
d—d cent to be robbed of, and I got
out on the last ear of a long freight
train .”—New York Sun.
A Mexican Diligence.
The number of mules in a diligence
- f eam } n y[ ex ico is usually eight, four in
’
the sv;i aud two iu the lead and wheel
each . 0a our trip we changed every
two hours, thus using fifty-six mules dur-
ing the day. They were active, sturdy
little fellows, too; as indeed they had to
be to make such time over the rocks and
washouts and hills we met with en route.
The Mexican driver is a good one and
is a prince of princes on the road. He
cracks jokes on the passers-by, nods to
the better class of these, and passes the
peons by with no notice at all, save per¬
haps a playful crack at them with his
lash. This they never resent. Is it
not the swift-traveling diligencia and is
he not the great cochero who gets a dol¬
lar the day?
With each coach travel two mozos or
hired men. One of these sits on the
driver’s left and it is his duty to touch
up with his lash any lagging mule, the
driver confining himself principally
to the wheelers. The other mozo half
the time runs on foot beside the coach.
It is his role to straighten out traces and
harness, block the wheels where stops
are made on steep inclines, etc. The
driver does nothing but look out for the
road. When the stage reaches a town
for the night he jumps oft the box, leans
up against the wheel, rolls a cigarette
and calmly watches the mozos unhitch the
team.— Washington Star.
A Country Covered With Salt.
Everything in the country of the River
Chai, in Central Asia, is described by
Gabriel Bouvalot as covered with salt.
It is seen in the walls of the houses and
on the banks of the rivers, and the water
°ne drinks is salt. Traveling saltpeter
makers go in summer from place to place
wherever they can find material to work
upon. Their mode of operation is a
rough-and-ready one. Holes in the
earth serve as vats and boilers, and be¬
low these are placed ovens. Abundance
of brushwood supplies materials for the
fires. The workers collect from the sur-
face of the earth heaps of a composet of
salt and refuse. This is soaked for
twenty-four hours in water, then filtered
and then boiled for twenty-four hours,
cleansed and placed in the sun, so that
the water may evaporate. An ordinary
workman can make about fifty pounds in
a day, and this he sells at the rate of a
penny a pound. The workers appear
quite contented with their lot, and the
industry is preserved in their familes for
generations.
Not the First Discoverer.
Hendrick Hudson was not the first
white man to sail the Hudson. An old
French map by Dufosse has just been re¬
ceived by State Librarian Howell at Al-
bany, N. Y., which shows that the river
bearing name wa * known as the
Riviere Graude before Mr. Hudson and
his bold Dutch crcw glided over the
waters of it in the Half Mooo Thig
j 8 0 f great historical value, establishi
, r . , .. .
^ wim^wul calied\\mimbe»a
fes50r Eben H orsford has lately given con-
tnaJy decided tb»tifc “ega, and
was in the eastern
5£ made m°
in to vicinity #1 tto Onrade «r
WINTER APPLES.
What at jeer is there that is half so good,
la the snowy waste of a winter night,
As a dancing fire of hickory wood,
And an easy-chair in its mellow light,
And a pearmain apple, ruddy and sleek,
Or a jenneting with a freckled cheek ?
A russet apple is fair to view,
With a tawny tint like an autumn leaf.
The warmth of a ripened corn-field’s hue.
Or golden hint of a harvest sheaf;
And the wholesome breath of a finished year
Is help in a winesap’s blooming sphere.
They bring you a thought of the orchard
trees,
In blossomy April and leafy June,
And the sleepy droning of bumble-bees,
In the lazy light of the afternoon
And tangled clover and bobolinks.
Tiger-lilies and garden pinks.
If you’ve somewhere left, with its gablet
wide,
A farm house set in au orchard old,
You'll see it all in the winter-tide
At sight of a pippin’s green and gold.
Or a pearmain apple, ruddy and sleek,
Or a jenneting with a freckled cheek.
—Hattie Whitney, in St. Nicholas.
PITH AND POINT.
High protection.—A sealskin overcoat.
The man who eats oleomargarine feedfc
on the fat of the land.
Arithmetic is the sum of many ft small
boys trouble.— Merchant Traveler.
The horse sometimes distinguishes
himself for his neigh-borly manner.
When an artist is short of material he
draws on his imagination.— Statesman.
The boot is a very helpful institution.
It has given many a man a lift.— Bing
ha niton Herald.
Of course it is not a crime to be poor,
but it might just as well be so long a i
its penalties are so severe.
Poetry is said to be a gift, and no one
knows it so well as the poet who tries tc
sell it.— Binghamton Herald.
Some men can get along on their indi¬
vidual merits, but the oarsman must al¬
ways be “a man with a pull.”
A man doesn't look at a salary as hf
does at a wheelbarrow. He thinks il
ought to be drawn in advance.
She—“What do you suppose supports
the vast arch of the heavens?” lie—
“The moonbeams, I guess.”— Lowell Citi¬
zen.
'j he head that wears a crown is too
frequently mentioned. Was there ever
a head that didn't wear a crown?—
Judge.
The sentence “Ten dollars or thirty
days” is another proof of the truth of the
adage that time is money.— Pittsburgh
Chronicle.
Blobsou offers to bet $5 that there ii
more bark on his dog than on one of the big
redwood tree of California.— Burlington
Free Press.
“You don’t mean to say he is the lion
of the season!” “Yes. Why not?” “I
judged from his mauners he was more of
ii bear.” — Puck.
The man who boasted that he was “as
regular as the sun” forgot that the lumi¬
nary rises only twice in the year at the
same time.— Puck.
Proud Mother—“Oh, John, the baby
can walk!” Cruel Father—“Good?”
“He can walk the floor with himsolf at
night, then.”— Detroit News.
“What is the matter?” asked a travel-
ing man of a hotel clerk. “Are you out
on a strike!” “No; I’m not; but my
wife is .”—Merchant Traveler.
Mr. Doleful— “O, I feel all used up,
and sick of life. I don’t know where to
go.” Mrs. D.—“Why not go iulo the
blue room for awhile, dear?”
Ha, wicked girl, you broke my heart, I
How could you act so bad a part?
But that, alas! is not the worst;
You broke my heart, but broke me first.
. — Time.
“What? Is the Widow Brown going
to be led to the altar for the third time?”
“No. I guess not. She ought to be able
to find her way there herself by this
time. ”— Fliegende Blaetter.
“If I were au oyster,” sighed the crab, f
“I wouldn’t know what to do.
For they’re most always being embroiled,
Or getting into a stew.”
—New York Herald.
The blacksmith, however much he may
feel disposed at times to become weary
of his arduous and grimy employment,
can always find some consolation in the
fact that in it he has a shoer tiling.—
Boston, Budget.
A West Virginian trained a tiny stream
of water to fall drop by drop on a rock,
and in five years it has worn a hole seven
inches deep in solid stone, He could
have made the same hole in fifteen min-
utes with a chisel and hammer.— Detroit
Free Press.
It has been proved that the strength,
care and thought expended by the average
housewife in coaxing a weak chested,
hollow backed, consumptive geranium
up tivo inches, would lift a ton weight
three-quarters of a mile and raise a tliou-
-aud dollar mortgage out of sight.—
New York Nevis.
People Jndged by Their Lo »ks.
“Four people out of five,” remarked
a gentleman to the Washington Post
talking-machine, “carry some distin¬
guishing mark of occupation or habit.
Now see. That man is a jeweler. Do
you see the peculiar wrinkles around his
right eye and eyebrow. Those come
from habitually carrying his jeweler's
glass there. Half those passers-by are
desk-workere. Their shoulders droop.
See that young lady? When she is at
home she sits with her left limb drawn
up under her—sits on it in fact. The
knee is forced out. See where it hits
her skirts? Her walk is one-sided in
consequence. Those young men are
bicycle-riders. They walk on their toes
like a mincing school-girl. Now. can
you tell me why dry-goods clerks ah\ ay
have an affected walk? They do.”
A Revolting Spectacle.
The other day, in a city not a thousand
miles from Seattle, a grandfather and a
father were contending in court for the
custody of a family of children. One of
the children, a bright boy of ten years,
was placed on the witness-stand, and re¬
peatedly declared: “I hate my father’ I
hate him! I hate him!” The father
bowed his head and wept. The grand,
father—a member of the United States
» awwove “Tf*
tm*, probablv unfit for custody of the
^Lti.-Snuh * '