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PLENTY OF TIME.
A Story of the Mississippi River
Rour.d Abcit St. Louis.
“St. Louis is the great city of the
Mississippi. As Chicago is to the
lakes and New York is to the At¬
lantic seaboard so is St. Louis to the
Mississippi. At the commercial di¬
viding of the upper and lower
streams it stands, almost at the di¬
vision of summer and winter in the
valley, and all things along the river
date from it,” says John Swain in
Ainalee’s. “Part of the lower river
looks to New Orleans, especially as
a social capital. From the Crescent
City go great strings of vessels for
the Red and the Ouachita. From
St. Louis goes the commerce of the
valley, and to St. Louis flows the
stream of wealth that commerce be¬
gets. Chicago has passed and out¬
stripped its former rival, and the
eastern and western streams of com¬
merce pass far north of it. But the
traffic of the south remains with St.
Louis, which understands it and
takes toll on all that passes up and
down the valley of the river. For
1,500 miles the St. Louis drummer
is alone in his glory.
“On the upper stream, where the
railway runs beside the river, there
% much northern hurry and bus¬
tle. But St. Louis is conducted
on the plan of a Mississippi river
steamer—plenty of time for all. Be¬
low there I have seen a St. Louis
drummer, minus grip and cases, hail
a steamer at a way landing, and
when the vessel had been brought to
bank the captain has graciously
kept her waiting while the drum¬
mer hunted up a wagon to send aft¬
er his baggage. As no wagon was
to be found, the steamer’s captain
obligingly turned her around and
took her back up stream a mile,
where the drummer’s trunks and
grip were on the levee at the end of
a logging railway.
U 4 Time/ said the captain when
the drummer thanked him. ‘If we
had as much of everything as we
got o’ time, we’d all be rich down
here.’
“That spirit of time and kindness
prevails in all the relations between
St. Louis and the south and is a
•trong bond between the city and
its market. It is a proud, handsome
city, and its future greatness is only
to be limited by the development of
the Mississippi.”
On Toast.
The eminent physician had just
completed his examination of the
man and was firmly of the opinion
that his confinement in the insane
asylum was an injustice.
“Yes, sir,” he said, “I believe that
you are just as sane as I am, sir.”
“Thank you, doctor,” replied the
unfortunate, who had been conduct¬
ing a sane and brilliant conversa¬
tion. “And now could I ask a favor
of you, one very necessary to my
convenience ?”
“Certainly you can.”
“Please have an attendant bring
me a piece of toast. I ain very tired
and want to sit down.”
“Why, what in the world has a
piece of toast got to do with your
sitting down?”
“A whole lot,” indignantly replied
the man. “Don’t you know that I
am a poached egg ?”
FASCINATION OF DIAMONDS.
8ame Faces From Day to Day Seen at
the Display Windows.
“Diamonds have a great fascina¬
tion for a certain class of people,”
said a jeweler to a reporter the oth¬
er evening. “For days at a time I
see the same faces looking at the
stones in the display window, and
often one particular diamond at¬
tracts their attention every time
they stop. As a rule, most of these
are young men and women. If you
stand in the store and watch the
many people who look at our dis¬
play every day, you will notice that
most of them come to the window
in a rush and after studying the
jewels for awhile will walk slowly
away, as if they hated to go. Very
few of these persons know anything
about diamonds, but simply like to
look at them and pick out the ones
they would like to have.
“A knowledge of diamonds is
gained handling only by long experience in
them, and hundreds of the
people who look at the diamond dis¬
plays cannot tell a bad stone from a
good one.
“It is a fact that sometimes we
the see a window young girl standing before
and actually talking
to herself and occasionally point¬
ing at the stone which hap|> ens to
strike her fancy. Most those
who look in the windows hardly
ever buy diamonds^ probably be-
cause they are not able. Our best
diamond customers very seldom look
at the display in the window. They
come inside and have the clerks
show them the precious stones.
“The other day a man came into
our store and bought a three hun¬
dred dollar diamond in ten minutes.
The same day a woman purchased a
small diamond from us for $15, and
she was more than an hour in select-
big the stone she
ingtoaPost. ^
Just Sharing Fair.
Two children, a girl of about
eight and a boy of six, were left in
St. Paul’s churchyard while
mother went into the old church.
The youngsters wandered about the
burying ground looking curiously at
the old tombstones until they came
to one that was nearly hidden by
laurel wreaths.
The little girl regarded these trib¬
utes intently for some moments,
then carefully picked up one of the
wreaths and handed it to her broth¬
er. Taking a second wreath herself,
she started down a path, her brother
toddling after her.
Coming to a neglected looking
grave, . she carefully placed the
wreath upon it, and, taking the oth¬
er circlet of faded laurel from her
brother, she went a little farther
and laid it on a time worn tomb¬
stone.
The mother, coming out of the
church, saw this and said:
“Why, Ethel, what are you do¬
ing?” bud¬
“Just sharing fair,” said the
ding socialist. “The flowers were
all on one grave.” — New York
Times.
Sign That Failed.
XJp on Lexington avenue an en¬
terprising music dealer who desired
to call attention to his wares had a
sign painted in artistic white let¬
ters on a black ground and hung it
on his outer wall, It read, “What
is home without a piano?”
One dark night along came a
painter, with material of his trade
in hand, who either had no music
in his soul or had a cultivated taste
beyond ragtime and the ordinary
performer, and added a word to the
sign. When the music dealer arose
in the morning, he was surprised at
the appearance of his sign. It read:
“What is home without a piano?
Peace.”
The final word was ruthlessly ob¬
literated and the sign taken from
the outer wall and hung behind the
protection of plate glass. — New
York Herald.
She Knew Her Father.
A teacher was trying to convey to
a six year old pupil some conception
of beauty considered in the abstract
and its power to move the human
heart, but the little girl was slow to
grasp the idea.
“Suppose, Nellie,” said the teach¬
er, “your mamma should fill a vase
with lovely flowers and place them
in the center of the dining table.
What would your papa say when he
first saw them on sitting down to
eat ?”
“He'd say, ‘What are those weeds
doing here V ” promptly replied Nel-
lie.
Undeceived.
As the lady reached the platform
the car stopped with such precision
that she was thrown against the
conductor. As the polite public
servitor the straightened up sufficiently
to put lady to rights she ex¬
claimed:
“This is so sudden, sir!”
“Beg pardon, miss,” said
Chesterfieldian conductor, “but I
am already married.” — Richmond
Dispatch.
i ne WwCt-^iCKcrs Home.
The woodpecker’s home is very
like the kingfisher’s, but it is dug in
rotten wood instead of being bored
in a bank of earth. From the great
ivory billed species down to the lit¬
tle downy fellow of our orchards the
woodpeckers build their nests, or,
rather, excavate them, on the same
general plan. The hole at first goes
straight into the wood, then turns
downward, widening as it descends,
until it gives room for the home.
and will keep vour eyes open, you
will see a bright red head thrust out
of a round window in some decay-
ing trunk or bough, and the wood-
pecker will sing ^eems out, “Peer, peer!”
which always to mean that
his or her home is a most comforta-
ble and enjoyable place.
lb Curt m CoJdin oae Uty,
Talui Bromu Quinine Tablets.
a u tiraxrifM TiW. refund tke money if it tail* to
«*re. •rove's signature i» an each
BEFORE THE SURRENDER.
General Lee’s Refusal to Allow His
Soldiers to Disperse.
General E. P. Alexander relates
in The Century these interesting
words of General Lee just before
the surrender. General Alexander
having proposed that the Confeder¬
ate soldiers be authorized to dis-
P erse and . «P? rt t0 General ~ , dobn T . -
6t0 “ °f, tn tba 8°”™°" of the
states, General Lee asked:
Suppose 1 were to adopt your
suggestion, how many do you sup¬
pose would get away?”
General Alexander replied: “I
thlnk ^ two-thmls , of . us could ,. get
awa v ' should be lke rabblt ?
-
f, P ar ’™*S ea ln l ' le bushes, , and
^bey could not scatter like that to
Ca
“Well/ he said, “1 have . less than
16,000 infantry with arms in their
hands. Even if two-thirds of these
got away it would be too small a
force to accomplish any useful re¬
sult, either with Johnston or with
the governors of the states. But
few would go to Johnston, for their
homes have been overrun by the en¬
emy, and the men will want to go
first and look after their families.
As to any help from Europe, I have
never believed in it. I appreciate
that the surrender of this army is,
indeed, the end of the Confederacy.
But that result is now inevitable
and must be faced. And as Chris^
tian men we have no right to choose
a course from pride or personal feel¬
ings. We have simply to see what
we can do best for our country and
people. Now, if I should adopt
your suggestion and order this army
to disperse the men, going home¬
ward, would be under no control
and, moreover, would be without
food. They are already demoralized
by four years of war and would sup¬
ply their wants by violence and
plunder. They would soon become
little better than bands of robbers.
A state of society would result
throughout the south from which it
would require years to recover. The
enemy^s cavalry, too, would pursue
to catch at least the general officers
and would harass and devastate sec¬
tions that otherwise they will never
visit. Moreover/’ he said, “as to
myself, I am too old to go to bush¬
whacking, and even if it were right
to order the army to disperse the
only course for me to pursue would
be to surrender myself to General
Grant. But,” he added, “I can tell
you for your comfort that Grant
will not demand an ‘unconditional
surrender/ He will give us honora¬
ble and liberal terms, simply requir¬
ing %xchanged.” us not to take up arms again un¬
til He then went on
to say that he was in correspondence
with Grant and expected to meet
him in our rear at 10 a. m., when
he would accept the terms that had
been indicated.
The Tables Neatly Turned.
There is a certain brilliant young
lawyer in Brooklyn with a reputa¬
tion for ability in “rattling” wit¬
nesses who had the tables neatly
turned on him in a damage suit the
other day. A prominent physician
testified as to the character of the
injuries sustained'by the plaintiff,
and the young lawyer was seeking
to ridicule his testimony. The phy¬
sician had said that the plaintiff’s
brain and spinal cord had been in¬
jured and that the injury to the
brain was manifested by an increas¬
ed knee jerk.
“Now, see here, doctor,” said the
lawyer, going through a series of
physical contortions, chiefly with
his knees, “what does this increased
knee jerk of mine show?”
“Well,” said the doctor slowly,
“taking vour exhibition of yourself
before the jury and this knee jerk,
I should say that you were suffering
from serious brain trouble.”—New
York Times.
Making It Plain.
“This here piece in the paper
makes use of the word ‘superfluity’
* €vera ^ times, remarked the man
w /*5 the empty soap-
bo f “Now^what do you take super-
*>
answered the man in rags, “but 1
bww what , it means right.enough. . . , „
^ y y° es u 1 ^ * u thin f t . rate k so. Superflu- „
*
**7 . ^ a good deal the same thing ez
* felle ,f 9 a necktie when he 8
£ ot a h ear( L
Stop the Cough and Work off the
cold.
Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablets cijxe a
qqI,} tn one day. N Cure, No Fay. Pric#
98 Ovale.
i -TEXAS CAtft I
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without change. V train reach r
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direct*or make close oonnecVo i i
for al{ parts of Texas, OiUhtmi iMI [A I
and IpdianTerritory. >v \
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£>4i- p A •
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WACj
•AN ANOCW9S). 1,
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write tor a copy of ourtbandsome
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SOUTHERN
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T»B > OMBJ0T HIGHWAY
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a. M. HARDWICK, . M. TAYLOR,
General rr •9a»*. Gen. Paw. Asrent,
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THE WAV
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The Twelfth Juryman.
An anecdote of the legal frater¬
nity is to the effect that when try¬
ing a case at York Mr. Justice Gould
noticed after two hours had gone by
there were only eleven jurors in the
box.
“Where is the twelfth V* he asked.
“Please you, iny lord/* 6aid one
of the eleven, “he is gone home on
some business, but be has left his
verdict with me.” — London Tit-
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The Marti a We Arm* l*
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When the Cat Was Sacred.
In the middle ages brute animals
formed as prominent a part in the
devotional ceremonies of the time as
the}' had in the religion of Egypt.
The cat (adurus) was embalmed aft¬
er death and buried in the city of
Bubastis, because, according to He¬
rodotus, Diana Bubastis, the chief
deity of the plae, was said to have
transformed herself into a cat when
the gcda fled to Egypt.
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