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Tbe Jo*!* Ktilliugi Parent.
ROOSTERS
There is not the 011 wlmle horizon ov live
nature a more pleszing' and Btreagtlwiiing
study than the roostef. This remarkable
package <»f feathera has been for ages food
for philosophik as well as ihe aiutple curious
mind, They belong tew the feathered sekl,
denominated poultry, and are the husbands
ul many wives. In Utah it is konsidered
n disgrace tew speak disrespekfnl of a
rofistpr. Brigham Young’s coat-of-arms i*
a rooster, in full blast, crowing till he is
almost brint over douple backwards.
The flesh ov the rooster is I%ry similar
tew the tlelsh of a hen: it is hard tew dis
tinguish the difyrence espesbly in yure
soup. Roosters are pugil sts at* o g the
domehtik burds; they wear the belt,.and
having no shoulder tew strike from they
strike from the heel.
Roosters according to profarne history,
if niy ednkashun remembers ms right, were
formerly a man, who come suddenly upon
one of the heathen God’s at a time when he
want prepared twe see company, and waz,
tor thht offense rebuilt over into the fust
rooster, and was forever afterwards des
tined tew crow, atr kind wafning* This
change from a man akounts for their fight
ing abilities aiuftheir politeness to the h6tis.
Thare is nothing in a man that a wom (, n
admires more tliau his readdyness and
ability tew Smash another fellow, and it
is jigs so with liens when a rooster gits
licked, the hens all march ops with the other
roostes if he ain’t half so big or handsome
It is pluck that wins a hen or a woman.
There is great, variety ov pedigree anmug
the rooster race, but for stiddy bizziness
give me the old-fashioned dominqne, short
legged, stud-when they walk they aiwus
trut’ and their buzzums stick out like an
aldertnau’s addomjnal cupboard. This
breed is hawk- colored, aud has a ceooked
tail? on them like a sickle and as full ov
feathers as anew duster.
Rut when you come right down to grit
and throw all outside infiuetpjes overboard
thare aint nothing on earth, nor under it,
that can put-gtyle, ouUstep. out-brag, or
out-plucka regdiar Bantum rooster.
They always put nie in mind ov a small
dandy prakticing before a looking glass.
They don,t weigh mere than thirty oun
ces, but they make as much fuss as a ton.
I have seen them trying to pick a fuss with
a twoajiorso waggon, aud doin’ think they
would hesitate tew fight a meriting house
if it waz the least bit sassy tew them.
It is,more than fun to hear one of these
lcttle chevaliers crow; it is like a four year
old baby trying tew siug a lino out ov the
star Spangled Benner,
The lieu partner in this concern is the
most exquisit little boquet ov neatness and
feathers that the eye ever roosted on. They
are az prime az a premeture ynng lady.
It is a luxury to watch their daintiness.
Changes of following
curious Statement, by Dr. Granville, istakeii
from a late English paper; it is drawn
from the registered cases of 876 women,
and is derived from their answers to the age
at which they respectively married. It is
the first ever constructed to exhibit to
females their chances of marriage at various
ages. Os the 876 females, 3 were married
at 13 years of age; 11 at 14; 16 at 15; 43
at 16; 45 at 17; 66 at 18; 115 at 19; 118 at
20; $6 at 21; 85 at 22; 59 at 23; 53 at 24;
26 at 25; 24 at 26;-2S at 25, 24 at 26; 28 at
27; 22 at 28; 17 at 29; 9at 30; T at 31; 5
at 32; 7 at 33; 5 at 34; 2 at 85; 0 at 36; 2
at 37; oat 38; 1 at 39; 0 at 40. From this
our fair readers may form a pretty accurate
judgment of the chances-whioh they have of
entering the holy state of matrimony, and
of enjoying the sweets (we say uothing of
the bitters) of wedded love.
The Louisvill Conirier Jonrncl thus
speaks of Browulow’s promotion to the
Senate;
Brownlow goes out of Tennessee into the
United States Senate, Tennessee should
have a day of “thanksgiving and piayei*”;
tanksgiving for his departure, and prayer
that he may never return; and the Senate
should have a day of “fasting, humiliation
and prayer*; fasting and humiliation for
his election as one of its members, and
prayer that some kind dispensation of Pro
vidence may prevent him from ever making
hie appearance iu its halls.
“Mack* on Colfax. —'■Mack,* in a letter,
pays his4espects to the new Vice President
iu'lhis wise:
It has been truthfnlly said of Schuyler,
that the little mau runs a smaller amount
of boiler, than any ijther living person.
The wonder to me is» that somebody doesn’t
invent a steam engine bis model. The
same principle upon which hte operates in.
the political world, would, if ap*p!ied to
mechanical purposes, turn a six foot wheel
with a two inch cylepder.
ii ii ■mi ii— • i '■■■ ■
Age of hub Presidents.— youngest
man elected President is Ulysses S. Grant,
who will~l>e forty-seven years old on the
22d of April, 1869, Washington was 51,
John Adams was 61, Thomas Jefferson was
51. Madison 58, 6S, John Quincy
Adams,sß, Andrew Jackson over 60, Martin'
Yau Buren ST, William Henry Harrisuu 57,
James K Polk 48, Zachary Taylor 68, Frnak*
lin Pierce 48, James Buchanau 65, Abra
ham Lincoln uearly 51, when they weie elec
ted.
Fm 4 fur Smile*.
Aw agreeable species of husbandry—
marrying a widow, i
If industry is no more than a habit ft is a
good oue.
Certain from being dunned—never run in
debt.
Moving sot anew trial—courting a
second wife.
The mightiest roan—he who conquers
himself.
Why is a watchmaker like a clock ?
cause he is a timekeeper.
A country paper advertises for an honest
bi»y to make a “devil'’ of.
Idaho papers publish births and the
weight of the children.
The proper dance for a tin wedding—the
can-can.
Is the garment cf religion to be judged
by the length of the uap during service?
How to make hats last—Make every
thing else first.
Alaski has a base-ball club. Procopi
Kiokak Is first base, and Mr. Komoipechu
satttrigoo is pitcher.
“My boy what is your mother doing for
a living V we asked a little barefooted nr
chin yesterday. “She eats cold victual*
sir.”
A poor, thoughtless old gentleman sat
down, the other day, on the spur of the mo
ment* His screams were fiightful.
“Mister, your sign has fallen down I*
cried a temperance man to a
keeper, before whose store a customer reel
ed exclaiming.
• —-, do you—keep—a-ny—thing
good to take here?”
“Yes, we have excellent cold water
here*—the best thing in the world to take.”
“Well, I know it,” was the reply, “there
is no one—thing—that’s doue so much for—
navigation as that.” »
How to avoid being considered above
your business- -never live over ydfir shop.
How to make your servants rises—end
them up to sleep in the attics.
Over head and ears indebt—Wearing an
unpaid for hat.
% f
Men have two ways of distinguishing the
flame of love they either let it burn out
quietly, or else they will suuff it out by
one blow.
A dairy woman in Indiana orniments
her rolls of butter by the. impression of a
set ot false teeth. It looks very pretty bn’,
dues’l bv.ll well.
“No body ever lost anything by love,*
said a sandy looking man. ‘That’s not true,*•
said a lady who head the remark, ‘for I cine
lost*three nights’ sleep”
Wilson and Phinney are the leading men
hers of the Washington county bar. Sitting
opposite one another at she dinner table—
they are always opposite at pratice at the
bar in the court-house, an agreed as to the
bar in the hotel—Wilson was discribing
the effects of a speech he made a few nights
before at a great political meeting lu the
village where Phinney resides. .
“Indeed,” said be, “ I never saw the
people so filled with enthusiasm!**
“Filled with what?” cried Phinney.
“With enthusiasm,’, repealed Wilson.
“Oh. ah?, 4 'said Phinney: 1 understand,
but I never heard it called by that name
before; we call it rum!”
Not one hundored miles from Fayette, Pa
resides a Justice of thy Peace who does’t
know just as much as a person should know
when called to 611 that responsible office-
Indeed, the J. P. we speak of was elected
to the office as a joke, the people well know**
ing that he .was’t qualified for the position.
Mr. A- had a difficulty with Mr. B. in re*
gard to a mare and a colt, aud one party
suied the other before the aforementioned
J. P. When it came to administering the
oath the J. P. was soma what put out, but
finally went through the matter in follow*
ing style. Said the J. P. f ,‘Rob Haines,
you swear by , that Hooper’s mare bad
no colt?” “Yes,** said Bob, .“I swear by—
she hadn’t.** And so the lawsuit ended.
Mohawk Dutch.— The following story is
good becanse it is true. We had it from the
lips of a good woman, who was told H by
the principal actor herself:
“Ven I first come to Filadelfy to serve, I
was very uncivil,’* said Katrine, now a tidy
inteligent servant »n a respectable family;
“I laugh mooch and I feel much ashamed to
remember how i behave ven I know so lit
tle. Shoo, tat was my beau ten —Shon, he
took me to te tester oue nigh ven I been iu
Filedelfy-bnt tree weeks. *We sits in te
gallery, aud we not see goot, and Shon said
he would get a petter seat. So he puts
his leg round dc post, and shlides down
mid de pit, and he looks up and calls out,
‘Katrine! Katrine! cootn down! tish a goot
place here’ and I lean over, and said I:
‘How can I cooui Shout’ And he said.*
‘Shust shlide down.’ So I pot my leg round
te pillar, and I shlides down too. Donder!
how de peoples langl Dey langh so dey
play no more dat night upon the stage.
Everybody laugh, aud yell, and whistle all
j over de hou.«e i I was much ashamed, den,
: tough I knew not any harm ! But now, I
i plushes red every time I dinks mil it.*
1860. w, JHOO-
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OB3DERS SOLiemsZ).
in£EPH riMEOAM lil- #•
"Tj&3s&;'*W Itadhoo-W*
JOSEPH FINEGAN & CO.,
COT O N FACTO S
—AH®— '
Commission Merchants
mw UPPER I m, BAT STREET,
. BA VANN AH, GEORGIA ‘
J: Liberal Advance* on Cotton consigned to our
Corresponds# i® Now York and liverpooL
Sept. 10,1868. - j " 'i,
O. DAUVERGNE,
Catenet laker, Upholster and Undertaker.
Bblcher’* Block, Water?*., Baikrkiiwe, 6a.
' third, door from Comer qf Broad arid Water Streete
-“* - I take this oppor- j uRNITj/^
■tunity to inform
my friends and the fl&mmlmttte
52? r2a»#
e business and am A**f? t( * a,!
orders for every thing pertaining to Cabinet Work,
’Upholsters and undertakers. _ ... ,
Matrasses made to order or repaired old furniture
repaired, funerals furnished at the shorsst notice;
and everything else done or furnished usual In the
llneot business.
Judy 5, 1808. b-Xm.
, EXCIIIiE! SA1D01I!
„ r-BY-
: CASPER LEWIS I CO..
i■' OP broad and water streets.
alii CAN always find
It BRENNEN.
TO LET YOU HAVE THE
■tIBNEST
w HISKIES,
AfI.ES BEER.
Nov. 25)868. 7Vt5L> 84 ' tf ‘
B. (SIfORRIS, Jli.,
Successor to Caldwell &"Mobris,
COTTON'FACTOR
ASP
General Commission
HDE3 R [jmjtmrEE**
20 OLD SLIP,
Bknj. C. Morris, Jr., General Partners.
Frantz B Muller, » g • , Partnerß .
Wm. Harman Brown, | 1
NEW YORK.
Havlhg formed a limited partnership under the
laws of the J State of New York, with types'. Frantz
B Mu tier, and VVm Harman Brown, as special part
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busini-~ Heretofore conducted by the late firm nt
C , Morris, at the same, office 'Jo 20 OLD
SLIP. B C. MOP cm t..
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LADIES and Mrsse«. ot tbe latest style, just re
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He is confident he can turn
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Shop on Troup street, in the new building imme
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THE OFFICIAL HISTORY:
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By HON. ALEXANDER U. STBPHEf |
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