Newspaper Page Text
lie Weekly Democrat.
R* *
gl'ISEUi Editor and Prop’r
Thursday, mat 4,
1882.
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rksariae advertisements, unless othcr-
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Marriage and obituary notices, tributes of
,‘pest. and other kindred notices, charged
other advertisements.
Advertisements must take the run of the
aper, as we do not contract to keep them
any particular place.
Announcements for candidates are $10, if
sly for one insertion.
Bills arc due upon the appearance of the
vertisement, and the money will be col.
cted as needed by the proprietot.
We shall adhere strictly to the aboverales,
u<i will depart from them under no circum-
lance*.
I'SlXESS PROFESSIONAL.
MEDICAL CARD.
M. J . Nicholson,
lias removed to Twilight, Miller coim-
Georcia. Office in J. S. Clifton’s
’ feb.9,’82.
MEDICAL CARD.
E. J. Morgan
Has removed his office to the drug store,
orrnerly occupied by Dr, Harrell. Resi-
ence on West street, south of Shotwell.
her* calls at night will reach him.
CHARLES C7BUSH,
Attorney at Law
COLQUITT, OA.
Prompt attention given to all business en
trusted to me.
DENTISTRY.
J.C. Curry , D . D. S .,
Can be found daily at his office on South.
Braid street, up stairs, in E. Johnson’s
hailding, where he is ready to attend to the
wants of the public at reasonable rates.
dec-5-
• mcuill, m. o meal
McGILL & O’NEAL,
ttorneys at Law.
. BAINBKIDGE, GA.
! a ,l ^j>ffice will be found over the post of
BYRON H. BOWER
BOWER & DONALSON,
leys and Counsellers at Law.
in the court house. Will practice
i,c * *3|tur and adjoining counties,
. the
styl* 2
re by special contract.
and
a-25 7
TOR M. L. BATTLE,
Dentist.
, je over Hinds Store, West side
-cecrt house. Has fine dental engine, and
will have everything to make his office
first-class. Terms cash. Office hours 9
a. m. to 4 p. m. jan.!3tf
JEFF D. TALBERT,
Attorney at Law
Bainbridge. Georgia.
Will practice in all the courts, and busi-
■esi intrusted to his care will be promptly
attended to. Office over store of M. E
Barnett «fc Son.
feb.23,’82.
DR. L. H. PEACOCK,
Respectfully tenders his professional serv
ices to the people of Bainbridge and vicini
ty-
Office over store of J. D. Harrell & Bro
Residence on West end of Broughton
street, where he cau be found at night.
April 6,1881—
The Bainbridge Democrat.
BY BEN. E. RUSSELL.
BAINBRIDGE, GA, THURSDAY, MAY 4, 1882.
| VOL. 11.—NO. 29
IIA8H.
Do you want a receipt for the ten ible mystery
Known to the world as boarding-house hash?
Take remnants of meals now passed into his
tory,
Pulverize down to indigestible mash.
Pieces of gristle and bits of old calico,
A little whit leather not chopped very floe;
An old rubber shoes that would’nt make "har
icot,”'
Chunks of cold taters and a rusty fork tins.
Occasional chicken bones, picked down to
nudity,
A slice of raw onion to season its crudity,
Several shirt buttons and a hairpin or two.
Such an interminable mixnp will certainly do
Hash, bash, bash, hash!
With a pair of old overalls, and plenty of
flavoring,
A little cold liver with a bit of its gall,
Eat of this componnd without your faith
wavering ?
Oh 1 boarding-house bash is the sum of it
all.
—Heu> Haven Register.
A WOMAN’S DUEL.
H. F. SHARON.
Attorney at Law
Office in Court House.
Will practice iu all the courts of the
Albany Circuit and Supreme Court of
Georgia. In the Circuit and Supreme
Courts of Florida, aud elsewhere by special
contract.
Bainbridge, Ga., April 23,1881—ly.
MACON
For special instruction in bookkeeping,
penmanship, business arithmetic, corres
pondence, bill heading, telegraphy and
general business routine.
w. McKAY, - - PRINCIPAL.
For terms, information? as to boarding
&c., apply to the principal. P. O. box
422, Macon, Georgia.
B. F. COLBERT.
WEIHEEIASIJEmEl
Office at L. M. Criffin’s old stand, corner
of South Broad and Troup streets,
Bainbridge, - Ga.
Cleaning and repairing, watches,
clocks, sewing-machines and all kinds of
jewelry, done With neatness and dispatch.
_ tSTAll work warranted.-®*
Bainbridge, G*., August 4, 1874.-
Two Women Fight by Moon
light for a. Lover.
Special dispatch to Enquirer.
Washington, D. C., March 20.—
The inhabitants of the beautiful valley
of Tyron mountain urere this morning
startled by the discovery of a tragedy,
startling, sickning and romantic in its
details, it being no less than a deadly
duel between two women, to decide
which of the twain should have solely
the affection of a man who had been
paying attention to them both. Last
night they met, and, after a desperate
hand to-hand conflict one was left dead
upon the field, although, as the sequal
proved, her defeat was encompassed by
means of foul play :
RobeU 5. Jffiby, a larmer in
humble i: *:, lived near the seene of the
tragedy. A year sgo he was an ardent
suitor for the hand of Miss Gracie
Mills, who lived just over the South
Carolina line ; but although he courted
her frequently, 6he would not marry
him. Some months since he met Miss
Jane Jackson, who lived in the valley
of Tyron mountain, here in North
Carolina, and he gave up his long
struggle for the South Carolina maiden
and transfered his affections to Miss
Jackson, upon whose heart, after more
than one assault, he appeared to make
some impression. As soon as the South
Carolina woman discovered this sheen
tertained violent hatred toward
Jane Jackson, and the feeling was re
turned by her rival, who had succeeded
in getting the love of the man which
had been rejected by the woman who
was now vexed at not taking it when
she bad the chance. Both were robust,
country women, and it was thought
there would be trouble between them,
as each had on more than one occasion
defied the other.
Last night Miss Jackson was sitting
in the house with a friend, Dora Spen
cer. Just at dark a voice was heard
from the road calling Jane Jackson
Jane got up and went out, and never
returned. This morning when search
was made the searching party came up
on a spot which gave evidence that it
had been the field of a desperate battle
for life. Sticks and atones were there,
and the ground was torn by the tramp*
ing of feet, while tbe soil had been
turned into gory mud. Further search
revealed a trail showing that a body
had been dragged, and further on in a
creek lay the body of Jane Jackson,
stiff and cold, and in one of her clench*
ed hands was found a turft of the hair
of her assailent, which indicated that
she had made a desperate struggle for
her life.
From all the evidence that could be
elicited it seems that tbe two women
met out in the road that night. The
tracks show that Gracie Mills was ac
companied by a man, and when she
was getting the worst of the fight her
Ale partner came np and struck a fatal
blow with a fence-rail upon the head of
Miss Jackson, and the two together
proceeded to murder her. The hair
which the dead woman clutched in her
hand was that of Gracie Mills. Who
her male accomplice was is a mystery
The murderess has fled, and there is no
clew to her whereabouts. The affair has
caused wild excitement
“Oh, papa,,’ said little tommy the other
day, “didn’t yon say there was nothing
new under tbe son ?” “Yes, my boy, the
losophers say so.” “Well, look under
me,” went on the young hopeful, getting
up on the old gentleman’s bran new silk
hat, “that is something new under the son,
ain’t it?” The next thing the boy knew
there was something old under the son,
and it was his father's boot, with a foot
in it.
Governor Colquitt Explains.
The following extract is taken from the
Columbus Enquirer of a late date ;
“A short time ago'the Macon Telegraph
and Messenger stated in direct terms that
Governor Colquitt had made a bargain
with Judge Simmons of that circuit, by
which the latter was to succeed Governor
Colquitt ia gubernatorial honors. In the
same papers of yesterday wo find this
statement :
“It is more than inspected that Governor
Colquitt is anxious to barter away bi9
succession, it indeed, the contract be not
already closed with one or more persons.
He never denied that he had specially
offered it to Mr. Stephens, nor has he or
any of his friends taken occasion to refute
the more than rumor, that he had made a
similar offer to Judge Simmons, of this
circuit. Governor Brown has been purged
of any connection with this affair. The
rumor is and has been rife for a long time
that more than one gubernatoaial aspirant
holds a sort of parol contract with the gov
ernor and his friends, or both, for the
succession and many very good people put
faith in it. It has created some discussion,
one of the results of which has reached us
in a very authentic shape, to the effect
that there is a written contract to the same
effect still in existence, or rather a copy of
it, that it was drawn up by a very enthus
iastic adherent of the governor, when the
latter was in great political stress, and
that a prominent politician has a copy of
it.’
“If this is not true, it will be an easy mat
ter for the governor to set himself right in
the premises. The charge cannot be taken
as an attack npon the chief executive
prompted by any motive save that of a
desire to serve the party, as it emanates
w!* 1 - „journal that give all the e ; d — 1
infiuenc. us Control to securing the
eiectiou of the present incumbent. If
Governor Colquitt has the good of the
democratic party at heart he should either
refute this or he should make it public
and give his reasons therefor.’
The above was submitted to Governor
Colquitt. We preface what he had to
say with the simple statement that while
the Telegraph and Messenger did aid in
the election or Governor Colquitt the
present management and editor both bitter
ly opposed him before election and have
lost no chance to criticise him since. The
governor said :
“I have not seen tbe articles to which
you allude, and do not care to dignify them
with my attention.”
“You have nothing to say ?"
“I do not like to answer even in response
to an inquiry such ill-Datured insin
uations. Yon may say, however, that
I have never said one word to Judge Sim
moos on the subject of the race. I have
never written him one word or had a line
from him. I have never authorized any one
else to consult with him, I have never
spoken to Governor Brown or General
Gordon on the subject. I have not seen
Governor Brown since he came to Georgia
and don’t know when I shall see him. While
Judge &immon3 is my friend and a gentle
man whom I esteem most highly 1 hare
never expressed a preference for him. Is
this a full enough answer ? If not mak«
fuller, if possible. There is no use answer
ing these rumors. First, it was Mr. Steph
ens to whom I had offered the succession.
That failing, it was Judge Simmons. This
failing, it will be some one else.”
“You may say farther,” said the gover
nor earnestly, “that while J da not claim
from my position any single right that tbe
humblest voter does not have, I shall
never admit that it restrains me from the
rights of the proudest citizen When the
candidates for the nomination are before
th» people, if I have a choice I shall Rot
hesitate to express my preference, and to
emphasize that expression by all legitimate
means. This is my right as a citizen it is
ray duty as a citizen’ and I shall no be back
ward in asserting it when the proper time
comes.”
Mahone in Trouble.
Lynchburg Advance.
The revolt of the independents in the
legislature against the effort of Mahone
and Biddleberger to repnblicanize the
party, meets with the hearty approval of
true and honest' readjustee through the
state. It is a great mistake for these
mercenary leaders to suppose that the
privates are all as venal as themselves.
Doubtless they do not understand how
any one can act from aDy other motive
than the hope of gain. In their ntter
abandon, their scorn of all principle, they
haTe gone a little too far. A reaction
was inevitable, and it has set in. Wfipt we
have seen constitutes only the first big
black drops. The storm is just behind
and if yon haTe ears to hear you can catch
the low, ominous notes of warning. In
its fury all the woes of the seventh vial
are gathering for the men who have degrad
ed and disgraced their native state, at the
behest of a low, ignoble and sordid am
bition. When that day of wrath arrives,
let all the doers of evil stand from under ;
let him that is in the field not return to
tbe house, and let him that is on the house
top come not down ; for the doom of pol
itical damnation will follow fast after every
politician who has sought to sell his state
for guilty gain.
Sightly* Mixed.
Newspapa readers often see curious
mistakes in japers which appear hard
to account fot These are sometimes
made by the foeraao in making np the
forms, and in various ways. Any one
who has even had Ay intimate mnection
with a newspaper Will appreciate this ;
The CircleviUe Wstahmso i* responsi
ble for the following: “GeorgeKinder,
editor of the Putnam Conaty Sentinel,
recently wrote up a herd ofshoit horn
cattle, and the same week the laiies of
Ottawa gave a concert which puffed in
flowery language. The foremm of the
office had drank too much tea,pvtdent-
ly, and got the items somewhai mixed.
This is how they read: “The :oncert
given last evening by sixteen oi Otta
wa’s most beautiful young ladia was
highly appreciated. They were elegant
ly dressed and sang in the most chinn
ing manner, winning the enthusiastic
plaudits of the entire audience, Vho
pronounced them the finest short horns
in the country. A few of them are of
a rich brown color, but the majori y
of them are spotted, brown and whii^,.
Several of the heifers weigh as high id
Some Slew Arithmetic.
In a school room are twelve benches
and nine boys on a bench. Find who
stole the teacher’s switch.
A laundress takes in twelve shirts
and has four stolen from her line. How
many are left and what are the kwCrs
going to do about it T
A farmer sold eleven bushels of pota
toes and the prodaot pnfehaeed twe
gallons of whisky at ninety cento per
gallon. How much per bnshel did he
get for his potatoes and where did he
keep the jug ?
What velocity must a locomotive
have to pick np a deaf man walking on
the track and fling him so high that
six cars pass before he comes down T
A boy earned twenty cents a day for
eighteen days, and bought his mother a
muskrat muff costing $2.10. How many
hulls are there in a pint of peanats f
A mother standing at the gate ealls
to her boy who is exactly sixty-eight
feet distant. It takes two minutes and
twenty-two seconds for the sound to
reach him. Find from this the velocity
with which a woman’s voice travels.
A woman earned forty-two cents per
fifteen hundred pounds—fine bodies day by washing, and supported a
light limbed animals. They are sai 1 husband who consumed four
to be excellent miners, and as high a? dollars worth of provisions a week,
twenty pounds of . utter have been \How much was she in debt at the end
made from one in a siu;le week.” f pf each month up to the time he was
A Wife Worth,IWlmg.
We know a lady who is indeed one
tong thousands. For a long time she
rendered valuable aid in supporting her
_ 6 cu parents, and after \he death of
her father she supported’^er afflicted
u.:*her and herself very comfortably.
She did all the household! work and
then went to the tielu with the
labor of her own hano mode a
good crop and her fa , honor? always
self-supporting. By la* 8entei bt she
made with the needle 44 \Ire tg \arning
a neat sum for the work, trice mfused
all offers of marriage becauk and p* e ifc ;t
her duty to care lot her P ar 1kpj ct 4 tbe * r
old age. Her fidelity to if the iiined
for her the admiration -anFading 0 f a
most excellent gentleman, toj^^idie
is now married. She has been true in
'every relation in life, and we feel sure
that the gentleman has a laly w ho
is indeed a help-mete. We withhold
the lady’s name because of the’^tdy’s
modesty. We do not believe iis the
plan of withholding merited priis^'an-
til after death, and in this instaico’lthe
courage displayed in battling wth tbs
adverse circumstances of life retlly
deserves special mention.—Buena Vuta
Argus.
Gnrfield'N Doctor Bills.
Washington, March 20.—When th>
doctors’ bills for attendance npon Presi
dent Garfield, and the other bills ex
penses incidental to his illen and
death, are reported to the house, it is
probable that the minority of the com
mittee will make a report and indulge
in some speech-making of a sensational
character—at least, such » the present
intention of some members of tbe com
mittee. A member of the committee
recently said be did not believe it to
be the business of the house to pass
upon bills ranging in amount from 24
cents to $25,000. He thought the bills
should have gone, in the first place, to
the legal representative of Gen. Gar
field, and have been brought by him
before congress, when the parly of the
late president mightTiave been extend
ed a sufficient time to cover the ex
penses. The bills altogether amount
to about 140,000. It is also intimated
that there will be attacks upon the
President’s physicians, suggestions that
there has been no evidence to show
such extraordinary skill as wouid seem
to be indicated by the large fees recam
mended by the majority of the com
mittee, and even, perhaps, a revival of
the old charge that ^>ne of the physi
cians profited by telegrams sent to Wal
street in advance of the bulletins.
The Savannah, Florida and Western
Railway is on a boom. No other rail
road company in the State has shown
more enterprise of management or more
material advancement during the last
eighteen months than the S. F. & W.
From the Savannah News we learn that
some very extensive and handsome ad
ditions have just been made to the
railroad stock of this road, including
several large locomotives and some ele
gant passenger coaches and sleepers.
The management of this corporation is
most liberal and progressive, and it is
doing a great deal for the development
of Southern Georgia and a good portion
of Florida.—Albany Netcs and Adver
tiser,.
[6nt to the work bouse ?
A farmer agreed to give his son four
d one-half acres of land for every cord
wood he chopped. The son ehop-
three-sevenths of a cord and broks
h% axe and went off rabbit hunting,
w much was he entitled to.
A certain young mau walks five-
sevenths of s mile for seven nights in
a v »ek to see his girl, and after put-
tint in 112 nights in a week to aee
hia’girl, and after putting ht 112 nights
he -tels the bounce. How many milei
didpe hoof it altogether, and how many
wee:s did it take him to understand
that he was not wanted f
T ?o men agree to build a wall togets
her. ^ One does four-fifths of the boa
sing, ind tee other threetenths of the
work, and they finallr conclude to pay
a man $^8 to finish the job, find the
length of the man who did the work.
A Great Day Tor FlaMag.
“Did yon have much Jack, Uncle Mom!'
asked a gentleman of an old Galveston
fisherman.
“Nebber seed fde like. It wua all day
long jerk 1 np comes a five-pound red-fish
jerk agin, up comes a six-pound trout; jerk
agin, np comes a seben-pound sheep-head.
It nebber stopped one second.”
“How did you catch fish that fast with
out stopping to bait your hook f Come
now, Mose 1”
“Bait de hook ? All dem fish was on
de same hook. Dar was no chance to bait
de hook. De six-pound redfish swallowed
de five-pound trout, and seben-pouad
■heepbead jest jobbled do six-pound red-
Tsh jtod I jest kep on ontil dey was about
twenty fish on de hook, and den I hauled
’<m in and put on fresh bait. Has yer
cctched my moanin' T"—Galveston Newa.
Finn Lora.
A long story in tha Wheeling leader in
healed, “Her first love.” Wo hare no
time to read long stories, but if it
really and truly her first love it is safe to aay
he go. away. It takes a practiced hand to
know ’nst when to reel in, pay out more
line an! “play” him ’till he can be landed
and pm in the basket. It can’t be dona
by a girl with her first lore, became of the
excitem%t when she first feels there is
one nibbling, earning her to shat both her
eyes, pall for dear life and throw him fif
teen teet infs the air when the hook dropa
out of his . . -uth, he falls “slap” iato the
water and Acds under some old root. The
desert of liiifia strewn all over with the
bleaching bcoea of first loves, who have
had their jaw town off so they conld not
masticati they food.—Peck’s 8un.
“A Great Moral Lesssa"
Those who pass “the boxes,” wherein
the alms of the congregation art pat, see
many moral lesjooa,bnt none more graphic
than this one:
At a meeting of some colored brethren
it was decided to make a collection. The
President couclw'ed to pass the hat him
self. and, in order to encourage the others
he pnt in a ten.eet* piece. After the col
lection, during whith every hand have been
in the bat, the Prudent approached the
table, turned the hat ap-side down, and net
even his own contribution dropped oat.
He opened bis eyes with astonishmeent,
and exclaimed, “I’m eben lost de tea cents
I Btarted wid I”
Then there was consternation en the
faces of the the SBsembfr. It was evident-
ly a hopeless case, pnd fas summed np by
one brother, who rose in his place and
said solemnly. “Dar ’pears to be a great
moral lesson roan’ head aomewhar.” 1
FeemIterate* eflhs Priater.
The printer ia a patron of the art pres-
ervatioa of all arts, hat he frequently
has tha art of getting a poor writer into
ai pickle.
The printer sets while Banding, and
standi while setting.
The printer is net usually a wealthy
person, bat generally has aqnion or two
about him.
H« sometimes does very poor work bnt
nil his work; good or had, ia justifiable
The printer does not often carry
cane, but yon will almost always ind
him with a stiek in hia hand. Seme
times he is a stick himself.
The printer is a materialist. All his
thoughts are npon matter.
Most men like to have things dome
out square at the end of each day, but
the printer hates to be obliged to bring
his work out even. This sounds odd
but it is even so.
Though correcting his corrors every
day, the printer may .all the time be
glowing worse.
Though a perfect Jack Sprat in his
fondness for lean meat, the printer never
objects to fat.
He is often a profound reader, hut al
ways dislikes solid matter.
The printer is like the acotr in the
fact that he hates to see a beggarly array
of empty boxes.
The printer may not be averse to
poetry, but he detests pi.
The good printer is known by his
form. So eareful is he of his form
that he always locks it up.
Though not always correct, the prin
ter's work is invariably done by rule.
The printer is a very inoffensive in
dividual, but ia quite clever with the
shooting stick.
The printer is not satisfied with think
ing his work is complete; he always
wants a proof of it.
The printer is your true man of let
ters, though he may not be a literary
man.
Tha printer is an upright mao, but
he is frequently seen about the gal
leys.
The printer used to be very bashful
sort of a fellow, bug now that females
aia employed in printing offices, he will
Mt up with a girl six evenings a week,
aud he goes to press every day
Types of the human raee are scatter
ed all over the earth, and the printer die
tributes his types in all directions.
The printer is not necessarily a (port
ing character, hat his form may fre-
queitly be seen the chase.
The printer ia eftea beside himself)
that ia tossy, be frequently atanda beside
his frame.
Like the lawyer, the printer is de
pendent upon hia cases for • livelihood.
When a printer has finished bis job,
he works it off.
He reckons his work by the token
by this token may yon know that he
gives you full measure.
Much more might he said of the prin,
tor, hat this mast de for to-day- Let
us eloee by hoping that when he hseamee
dead matter an imposing atone may he
erected to his memory.—Newberry,
Herald.
Crepe la Mathers Geerplaa.
Our information from all parts of
Southern Gqprgia represents the crops
as in a most favorable condition. It is
generally believed that the cotton area
has been largely deoreased and that ef
corn and other provision eropa pro
portionately increased. Ia many
lions the prospect ia reported as very
fine ,and in a few looalitus bettor then
ever before. The oat crop, now rapidly
advaaciag to maturity, snfferod for run
ia some sections daring the early spring,
but the recent rains seem to have bee*
general acd a fiae crop is now expected
The truck forms along the Savannah,
Florida and Western Railroad and its
branthas are also reported ia a pros
perous condition. In a few instanoes
planting was too early without adequate
protection, especially of melons, but
generally the prospect is good, while in
Lowndes, Brooks and Thomas counties
the melon crop is reported unnsuaHy
promising for this season. Of peaches,
apples, pears, figs, plums, grapes, etc.,
the prospect is lair, and with bo late
frost the country will be blessed with
an abundant crop of fruits, Tbe great
est difficulty encountered by the form
ers is the scarcity of labor.—Many
forms have been enrtailsd for the waat
of field laborers, tbe lumber sod turpen.
tine business in the pine regions having
drawn away mneb of the labor here
tofore available.—Sae. News 18th.
WIT Alt to mtJMOM-
Beauty If fdMnt, but meMy is omni-
. -r--
Never kneifo to gdt titbd—OdtaUDdmf' j ?
When •' giri eravvis on Mf good leekff
She pooMi for her foes value. . ff
* Wkat da yed Ufek of ay new benaet f 3
aoM Mrs. Spieer. 'Teo much' poke for tf
stiffing,”safil Be*| but he 4KB dfofoge kit
mind when tbe bil eomee W.
Aa Olio girl's toast > "The young men
of America' ■■IbeiTasais eft oat supporters;
oar arms are tbefr rettard; foftin, men;
foB in.”
Aa Indian evangelist asksr 'CWa a Be-'
publican get to heaven T* We hasten to*
say that he eaa—tf he hae the handling ef
the retnrae.
Some men’s anew are Eke coma heekefM*
the mere immortal they cm tbe mete tod
they am.
Ah aid negro ft "Saaa H pe#s*Mf
good ia avefptkiag hut children. Vof
nCiff *MSM> ether kind ef drceeing."
Alexander Stephens says ft took kM .
ten long years to learn that afhe then eut
of tea who waat tbs favor of a sfoaR lean;
have no intention of repaying ft afatfl tkof
wont a larger one.
Patiente do more for the doctors than’
doctor* do for patients.' The patients en-'
able doctors to live. w
Oscar Wfid says he knows a certain 1 ,
young lady’s kisa hi arfeet, because he got ,
it from the yotfng lady’s lips IrfrnMtf.
A number of critics charge Blind Tom'
with playing in a mechanical manner. He' *
is a sort of atr-tommyton, as it Were.
“Have yon got the font ready at Idstf 1 ^ '
“No, sir; mother’s gone oat washing, antf
forgot to pdt it eitt for yotf." ‘'DM ekd
tell job she’d fotgottetf T* “Yefl.sdr.”
A periodical was started hot long aga^ ,
the first number of which contained a let- .
ter from a correspondent who signed him
self "A Constant Reader.”
The first step tomtfd making a mau ef
your son is to tain him to cam what hi’
spends; the next beat step is to teach him?
to save what he earns.
A school marm in Kentucky marred
one of her pUpils. and, subsequently de-*
tect'hg him breaking the rtrfes in school;
ferruled him and a fellow enfprit with great
impartiality and considerable tigir.
A pretty Philadelphia girl, en being
asked why her engagement had been brok
en eff replied: “Yotf toe he Came to mi
one day with an album in his pocket ana
proudly displayed the autograph of Charles
J. Gniteaa, which he #ent to WaskfngtoS
on purposes to’gst. I Was not anxious ttf
many a bom fool, so We parted.
We once heard of of a traveler at d
Pennsylvania hotel; Who rose from hia bed
at night to examine the Weather, hat in?
stead of looking atrf tfpou the •kj, thrust
his head thrush tk* glass window of a
cupboard. “IaadforiT,” Cried the eetonieV
ed man, “this is very singular weather; fhq
night is as dark H Egypt, and smoDs of
cheese 1"
Mamma, ia the old hsngoffigtohetaai
away for the summer T” “No, Charlie j
but why da you MtT” “Wall, X heard
papa tell the uew govern eta that thSy
would have a fiae old time Whea he Mat
the old hea away for the summer.'” Jfaas*
mt pot Uttie Charlie W bed.
It was aa Irish pilot, who being asked i/
he knew the rocks ia the harbor, replied,
with confidence; “I do yer honor, ivery
one av them. That’s was,” ha added
calmly, aa tha ship strode it, filled and
sank.
Two successive editors of et Xddfed
newspaper were ekot Had kifled ia thS
setae sane tern. The prceeht editor keg
posted up the foDoWing sarcastic dga i
No ahoetihf allowed is this room/’
The idea has tessotos prevalent that
the young Indies Who pflastieo tight Mtig
ere foot This is aa error, aa
moat stayed ef their as*
Aq old sailor was observed teheflitog*
ing about the door ef a church wham sr
marriage wa taking piece. He explained
that he liked to aee the tide going oat.
“Gentlemen ef the jury," said a Mwsder-
iag counsel, in a suit about a lot of hega;
“There were Jtot thirty til in the deore.-
Pleato remember Iks feet—thirty-six bags j
just three times at maoy aa in that jery
box. gentiemear." That eonnaai didn’t
gain Urease.
“There, there, don’t ery any more,"mid
the kind-hearted stringer to n fifth gill vhrf
was leaning against the riffling in foeet ef
afpubbe school hews, weeping ad If her
heart would break. “TeD Us What’s tbf
matter.” The ChBd tanked two highiy ie-'
flamed orbs Up at the old SocVitoa, did
then stammered betWee* her sobs: "Ail
the girls in my efims were voccfooted fast
week, and antte’s tha Cttfy ona that hasn't
took.”
—
WHeaifoitdg.
"Oh. I sea oner
“Where T”
“O; my, m he MT*
“L*Ua catch hia f*
"Who’s got the baft?”
“Yob Wjr thing, yoi arc sitting an riy
poier
“Oh, something's got my hookr
“Pan dp, you iffffefdiot r
"Oh, ntorder I feke H Cwsy. Ugh i
take if ariay, the nWty thing t
'How ## it erejT get off!” „
'Ain’t it taettof .
WMtdcrffttatetdtor * ,
Poor little tkrngt let’s pnt if heck
again!“
“How will it get the hook frOavM'd
mouth*” * »
