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RATHER HEAVY JOKING. A Story Told of Grover Cleveland and a T, j Chisago Democrat. Front the Kansas City Times. President Cleveland was fond of a joke, so much so that lie found him self compelled from time to time to repress his disposition in this regard. One of the best incidents in this lino occurred when Congressman Lawler brought forward for introduction, simply to pay respects, one of his constituents, an old character from Chicago, ex Alderman Pat Sands, who had accumulated a large fortune in the plumbing line anil loaning money at Shylock rates of interest. Th ex-alderman loved his hoard like a miser, and, appreciating tiie situation, Mr. Lawler called the President aside, saying: “I want you to have a little fun with my friend here. lie is a democrat and a very wealthy man, but holds on to it strongly. Just asked him to loan you 8100,00^), and observe the consequences.” Mr. Cleveland at once “caught on,” and when Mr. Lawler presented Mr. Sands in glow ing rhetoric as one of the most enter prising nnd patriotic adopted sons of Chicago, the President grasped his hand warmly. After the usual com pliments had passed the President drew the cx iddernmn aside and said: “Alderman, I am delighted to meet you, nnd I want you to do me a great favor!'' “A favor, is it?” innocently replied Mr. Sands. “I’ll be greatly honored, Mr. President,- if you’ll only name it, nnd Pat Sands is your man.” “Well,” continued the President, iu the most confidential manner, “I can’t tell my private business to everybody, but as you arc a good democrat, and a friend of ny friend Congressman Lawler, I don’t mind speaking freely to you. You see I got married a few moths ago, and the expenses were very heavy. I must, of course, keep up appearance, being the first democratic President elected in a quarter of a century, and the fact is I’m hard up just at present. My sal ary is only 850,000 a year, and it’s all spent. Now, I want you to loan • me 8100,000, say for a couple of years, at 7 per cent., and help me out ot my trouble. You can spare me that small amount without missing it.” Totally unprepared for any such demand, Pat Sands’ jaws dropped asunder and his eyes bulged out to the site of a Bermuda onion. lie es sayed to speak, but iu vain. He looked first one side and then the other, and the scene became so ludic rous that both the President and Congressman Lawler could hardly contain themselves. The effect was just what Lawler bail expecled, for the cx-alderraan was greatly shocked; the veins of his forehead preluded, and he seemed on the verge of an ap oplectic stroke at being asked to give up 8100,000 even to the President. Unable to longer stand the pressure, the ex-alderman rushed forward, nnd, seizing Mr. Lawler by the coat-tails, he dragged him toward the door, cry ing: “Lawler, let’s get out of this! Croat God, man! Did you ever hear the like of that? A hundred thousand dollars! Why, it would just ruin me forever f* Mr. Lawler nllowed himself to be dragged away, while President Cleve land, although keenly enjoying the joke, was evidently alarmed at the terrible effect it had produced. The ex-alderman never stopped to take breath until he was out of the white house grounds and safe on Pennsyl vania avenue. Hurrying to Wil lard’s hotel lie hastily packed his gripsacks, paid his bill, nnd made for the railroad depot, notwithstanding the protestations of Mr. Lawler who endeavored vainly to explain that the whole affair was a joke. Mr. Sands was not to be appeased nor mollified, replying: “I’m off for Chicago by the first train, and don’t you forget it. Aud Ill not come to Washington again to pay my respects to all the democratic presidents that ever lived. Why did you tell the-President that I was rich and an influential citizen? I’d give 85 in cash if you had ouly told him 1 mean* a watchman’s place in the Chisago custom house at 850 a month 1” The Czar of all the Kussias will visit the Emperor of Germany at Her- lin next month. In the meantime, the German and Russian armies arc eye- |w Turh other across the frontier. An unhealthy woman fa rarely, if* ever, beautiful. The peculiar diseases to which bo many of the Bex me subject, are prolific causes of pale sallow fa ecu. blotched with un sightly pimples, dull, lustreless eyes and cma- dated forms. Women so alllictcd, can bo per manently cured by using Dr. Pieree’s Favorito Prescription; nnd with tho restoration of health comes that henuty which, combined with good qualities of head and heart, makes women angels of loveliness. “ Favorite Prescription " Is the only medicine for women,sold by druggists, under a positive guarantee from the manufacturers, that it will give satisfaction in every case, or money will bo refunded. It is a positive sprrific. for all those painful disor ders. Irregularities and weaknesses with width co many women are alllictcd. Copyright, IMS, t»y WORLD'S DI3. MSD. ASS'lf. | WARRANTED. DR. PIERCE’S PELLETS Purely Vegetable l Perfectly Harmless I UNEQUALED AS A LIVER PILL. Smallest, Cheapest, 1'mdcnt to Cake. One tiny. Sugar-coated Pellet, a dose. Cures Sick Headache, Hiiious Headache, Constipa tion, Indigestion, Dillons Attacks, and all de rangements of the Stomach and Bowels. 25 cents a vial, by druggists. Florida Central —AND — Peninsula Railroad. I'oritiril) flic F. IS. A- C«. Standard Time Used—June 2,1889. LTlir.UN PIVIS 500 p loo: 700 P 11 4 0:10 p 1127 n by 8 .TO l> 12 42 1> I.v •»2>1. 127 pAr •J55p 142 p Ar 10 TO p 2 27 j. Al ii 20 a T 02 p Ar 110ft 120p.\r T 50 a 542 p Ar 5 10h f.lOp Ar GOO a 0 40-p Ar U 42 11 8 22 P Ar bv Fernandina Ar I.v Jacksonville Ar bv Callahan Ar Baldwin Ar La Starke Waldo Hawthorn Ocala Wild woo* Leesburg Tavares Orlando Ar 11 28 n Ar .10 52 r Ar 10 201 T1 | PA DIVli Lv Jacksonville Ar Lv Wildwood Ar _ Ar PauasolTkeo Ar Ar Huintcrvlllo Ar , ArSt. Catherine A r _ Ar Lacoooheo Ar . J -r Dado City Ar Ar Plant City bv 1 in p i;il45p , 4 00 p ~2T 1 KKY DIV. \ 14 \ 24 7 00 p 1145 a Lv Jacksonville Ar 150p GlOa fi 00 a, 4 10 p I.v Waldo A r 10.T5 p T 40 p 5 10 a! 4 5T p Ar Gainesville Ar, 0 40 n 2T0p 10 45 i 5 42 p Ar Archer Lv 8 25 a 1215 p 0 12 p Ar Bronson Ar 7 48 a ......... 18 | Ar Cedar Hey I.v I 5 TO nU. villeAr; 020 p i 15 p ip 1 4G p j> 10 27 a Ar I.ive Oik Ar all28alAr Madison Ar a 12 52 p| A r Montleello Lv a! 2 02 p; Ar Tallahassee Lv a TOTp Ar Quincy Lv a 4 00 p A r lUvcr June. Lv 7 o-j r 1,2, 7, h, n, 10, IT, II Daily. 02, and GT Dally. ;», 4, 2T. 24, Dally, except Sunday. TO Dally except .Sunday, T1 Daily Monday. GO I G I -I AC eil 1005 p-GOO a Ar Fernundlna I.v . 15 a-4 TO « 5 and G dally, except Sunday. Gland G1 tndays only. 7 :15 a. m. f New Orleans Express. .Shortest and quickest lino to all Middle ami West Florida points, Pensacola, Mobile and New Orleans. 7:15 a. in. an I 7 :T0 p. in. trainBcoii- nect ^trough t-» Thomasvllle, Montgomery, Nushvllld, St. Louis. Cincinnati. Chicago, and all points North and West. Arrive at 2:45 p. in. and T .45 p. in. 11:45 p. 111. Mall and Express for all points South, Oalnchville, Ocala, Leesburg, Tuyeres, Apopka, Orlando, PanasoiTkee (St. Cutkarine) Dade City, Plant City. Arrives at 1:301>. m, 7 :00 p. in. Local, connects through for all points South, Ocala, Gainesville, J.*rshurg, Tavares, Orlando, Turp in Hprlngs. Souther land, St. Petersburg, ami Tampa. Arrives at G:1U a. m, *. 11:45 a. in. Cumberland Route Express, con nects at iVrnandlnu with steamer City of Brunswick, dally, for Brunswick, Macon, At- lanta, Chattanooga, Louisville, Cincinnati Ht. J.oula uad Chicago. Arrives 1:50 p. ni. 4-.yop. m. Fcruundlna Mall uml Express, dally, connecting Tuesday ami Friday with Sir. St. Nicholas for Savannah uml way land ings. Thursday with Mallory Steamers fo Now York. Arrives 8:50a. m. Sunday trull loaves Jacksonville 8:45 a. in. This new service gives perfect connection at Baldwin for all points North and West, Via Callahan to all points North, East and West. Via Fern and In a, connecting with Sir. City of Brunswick, for Brunswick, Macon, Atlanta and all points North and West. D. E. MAXWELL, A.O MAcDONELL, Gen. Manager. G. P. k T. A. J. W REID. Agent at Tliomasvlllo, Ga. D R CGYLE’t - —- /\V \ / OEHTIIHH 1 Mouth Was \A\\ ./MJIetns aud Prtiwsrves thf Teeth \J y/ TII15 0I)0NTIC.\ co- FRES1I MEATS. Wo will open, Monday, April 1st, at the place lately occupied by Mr. 1*. II. Bone a fine stock of fresh meats. Beef, Mutton and Pork. Our meats arc from our own farm?, fat, uicy and sweet. We will be glad to receive our patronage and will serve you with the 1 est meats at the lowest possible prices, y F. P. Hour k Buo ELDER HOUSE, Indian Spring, Ga. W. A. ELDER- Proprietor. SEASON OF 1889. For rates, analysis ol water and Infor mation, address C IS tt E. A. Elder Manger. I M P () R T A N T PEAR GROWERS & SHIPPERS. Cmisoliihile }(HirSlii|tnwnls In Houses who have Standing anil Ability. After rnrol.il itivc.-tijjutimi I have cisnert .-.I invself with lie- folh.n in-reliable house* W. I!. Suv.h r. John S!.ml and Win. C will)!, A- Xe'iv Vert, lie.Iliehl A Sell. I’hiladel- |ihia, llniii. ll, Kami A Ileslen. The above houses mil act in concert and indenyor to hold the markets up. I will main in New Ymk during llie shipping onal attention to th • tlailv quotations from each the markets, ami wire to Ho- Times-Knter se for publication. When your shipment 1 mm tie red it tends to break down the mar Kespect lull v, Jos. S. No it to.v, Olliee J215 Washington St., -'.'•If Now York llriir-'e Oliiil, Ambrose (llitil, J. I’. Cuivper. Olivit Brothers, Commission Merchants, Melons and Pears Specialties. :»•>.) Washington St., NEW YORK. Reference: North River Bark. Hunt& Voorhees, 179 READE ST., N. Y., Poimuissioii Dealers Southern Fruit and Produee. Particular attention paid to the sale of peaches, pears amt melons. Sales reported daily and returns promptly made. Dennett & Hall, ton III.SMI ON .71K HC HANTS,! Fruits and Produce. Melons and -:- Pears ri I TXT AI .TIES. No. 1 (11 W KHT ST 14 LET, MSW VIIIEK. Jan.b T. Brnnrll. Joseph W. Thora. BENNETT & THORN, PRODUCE' Commission Merchants, No. 302 North Front St., Philadelphia, - Pa. ti-14-2m William Halley & Co., l’lK )DTT( !N COMMISSION.- MERCHANTS. Melons a Specialty.' U)7 WEST STREET, NHW YOIIK. Reference: New York (’minty National Bank. * d&w2m WALTER S. HILL, Produce Cemmiuien.Merchani, —l ot: tiii: s.\ i.f. of— Southern Fruits 5 VEGETABLES, LeContc Pears and Melons a Specially. HOG IH AMi HT,. NKIY YOKE. Reference?: Irving National Bank, N. Y.; Fruit (Jrowers’ National Bunk, Smyrna, Del. Represented in Thomasville by A. Brown. WANTED, 500 Gars Watermelons, .5000 Baskets of Early Fruits, Forjwliicli I will pay highest market-price iu cash, or sell on commission, and I will pay a reward of $2."> to the person shipping me the car of the largest melons thisjseason. This reward is over nnd above the market price of said car when received. a! i\ rickets # Wholesale Fruit and Prodnre Dealer, Chattanooga, Tcnn. Reference: People's Bank and other banks here; also R. (1. Dun k Co., and the wholesale merchants of this city generally. KNTAGLINUKD IS. IS. WOODWARD, GENERAL Commission Merchant, Melons and Fears Specialties. 174 CHAMBERS ST.. NEW YORK. ■C-2C UfcW 2m •JOSEPH PIKE’S SON, Commission Merchant —.luil Dealer Iu — Foreign and Domestic Fruits, Florida & Georgia Fruits & Vegetables A SPECIALTY. ON IM IIK Ff.ACK, NEW YORK. Melons and LeConte Pears Solicited, Represented in Thonixsvilic by A. C Brown and John W. Mitchell By shipping year Green and Dried Fruits, Melons VEGETABLES, Or anything you may have, to us.J We have a very large trade in the above articles, nnd can place your shipments tons good advant- ag < as any house on l he market. We invite correspondence from nil parties having any thing in our line to ship. SUMMERS, MORRISON k CO., Commission Memhauts, 174 South Water Street, Chicago, Illinois. Reference: Metropolitan Nat. Bank, diw PROFESSIONAL CARDS. \Y. C. SNODGRASS. B. F. HAWKINS jgNODGUASS & HAWKINS, Attorneys-at-Law. Omeo. Formerly occupied by Enterprit*o£bf- IJl M. McINOTSH, Physician A Surgeon, Thomasvlllo, Goorffia. r^~OFFICE over .Stark’s,!corner Broad and Fletcher Streets. . J)R. JOEL, B. COYX-E. DENTIST THOMASVILLE, GEORGIA. OFFICE, Broad St.. overlPickett’s.! g McLendon, Attorney-at-Liiw, Thoiuasvllle, - - - Georgia. Prompt attention given to all business c rusted to him. Otlice—Over W Jackson streets. J 11. COYLE, D. D. S., Resident Dentist, Thorn at* villo, • • • Oeorgla. Offers Ills services to tn citizens of Tlmnv asvlllo and vicinity. Office hours—From U a. in. to 1 p. in., and from2 to 0 p.ra. Office—On Jackson street. W. I). MITCHELL, It. C.. # MITCHELL. 'ITCHELL & MITCHELL, w Attorneys-at-Law, Thonmsvllle, • • Oeoigia, W. liitUCE, M. 1). Office, up-stairs. T. S. DEKLE, M. I)., Office in Hayes Building. Residence—Cornor College Avenuo and Mag N. S. Eagres, CONTRACTOR and BUILDER Tliomasvlllo, Goorgio, lie and prlvato, In either brick or wood! I will guarantee In every Instance to giro satisfaction. Designs aud plans drawn and careful estimates made. My Motto—Good, honest work at fair prices. If you want any building done call on nie. I will submit estimates whothor contract Is awarded me or not. I refer to the many public buildings erected by mo in Thomasvllle and elsewhere, and all parties for whom I have worked' _ BY FAB THF ROUTE! —TO— NEW YORLOR BOSTON -IS VIA— SAVANNAH —AXl) THE— OCEANSTEAMSHIP:-: LINE —Of TIIE— Central Railroad of Georgia. SUMMER EXCURSION TICKETS Now on sale nt reduced rates. Good to return until October :ilst, 1889. Magnificent Steamers nnd elegant scr- vice. Free front tiie heat and dust incident to ail-rail routes. If jou arc sick the trip will invigorate and build you up. (Jo east by sen and you'll never regret it, ' l’assengcrs, before(■prehasing tickets via oilier routes, would ao well to inquire first of the merits of the Route via Savannah. Further information may lie had by apply ing to the Agent nt your station, or to M. S. HFJ.KXA1V W. F. SIIKLLUAX, (ienornl Mnnager. Traffic Manager, K. T. CHARLTON'. CLYDE BOSTICK, G«n. Pass. Agent. Trav. Pass, Agt., Savannah, CJn. THEBEST AND MOST Direct Route! FROM ALL PRINCIPAL POINTS IN TIIEfSOUTH TO CHICAGO AND THE NORTHWEST. wo iti rough trains dally, with Pull man Palace BtiflhtBleeping Cars by night, and Chair Cars by day, between CIn* clmmttl and Chicago, Indianapo lis and Chicago, and also be tween Louisville and Chicago, whore close con. nectlons aro mado for st. Paul, Fargo, Blsmark, Pol- land, Omaha, Kansas City, San Francisco nnd points Intermediate— New Fast Mail, Leaving Louisville, Dally except Sunday, nt 7 -JO a. m. ClnclnnAttl, Daily, except Sunday at 7:4S. Arriving at Chicago at G :G5. Tho most rapid sorvlco ever attempted be tween tho Great Commercial Cities on tho Ohio River and Chicago. Vg-1 hrough Coupon Tickets, Baggage check-1 cd to destination, and your safety and com fort provided for, are among tho points that hayo mado tho moitfoiff ROUTS Universally nnd dosefvodly popular. OHN B. CARSON. Ylce-pros’t and Gen’l Mgr W. II. McDOEL, Gon’l Traffic Manager, E. O. MCCORMICK, Oen.l Passongor Agent r. w. GLADING. Passongor and Freight Agt., 158 Broad St.. Thomasvllle Ga. TO SELL —ON- Whiddon House (Opposlto Plney Woods Hotel.) THOMASVILLE, - GA E. B. Whiddon, Prop. This house, Iocatcd.In tho most desir able and central part of tho city, is now and complete in every particular. Fur nished in the most elegant manner and provided witli all conveniences of mod ern hotels. Tho menu is porfcct, nnd tho sorvico rendered by trained andlpo- llto servants. Terms reasonable, and prices graded according to accommoda tions furnished. Carriages from the house meet all trains. declO-ly Fife & Beverly MEIGS, — --DEALERS IN- General Mercliandi?^ AND ALL KINDS OK Builders’ Supplies, Lumber, etc. •o prepared to furnish anythl o LrMDKU LINK, We niako a i Mouldings, Turned Scroll Work. Tho mostclchornto designs will bo faithful ly nnd correctly executed. Wo operate tho boat equipped mills, nnd carry tho largest stock of so isoned lumber In Southern Gear gin. Parti >s wanting lumberwlllsave money by consulting us before placing their ordors. FIFE k BEVERLY IMlen & Levicl, Contractors^ Builders THOMASVILLE, GA. We will be glad to make contracts for, of superintend, all classes of buildings, public or prlvato, In either brick or wood. Will fur nish plans nnd speclflcntlons If requlrod. It you vrnut any building done call on us, and wo will submit estimates whothor contract Is awarded us or not. Wo will guaranty satis faction In all our work. Wo refer to tho many buildings erected by us In Thomasvllle, and to all parties for whom wo have workod. Hhop on Fletcher st., 2nd door from Broad. Thomasvllle, Ga., April 3,1889. £. D. FUDGE, THOMASVILLE, GA., —sealer in HARDWARE Stoves, Iron, Tin and Hollow Ware, of all kinds, and agent for King’s Powder Co. The Elmwood, Marietta, Ga. This new and beautiful hotel, elegantly furnished, ELECTRIC BELLS, GAS, First class in nil of its appointments, has heen leased by M. G. Whitlock, former own er and proprietor of the late • “WHITLOCK HOUSE.” His table nnd service will satisfy the molt fastidious. His beds arc delightful. Terms ieasonnble. Address, M. Q.JWIHTLOCK, Marietta, Go. The Old Bill Bryant place on Jackson St., in Fletcherville. URGE LOT, Healthy Location. Good neighbors, and convenient to South Georgia College and Depot. Terms so easy that anybody having the will, can have a good home. Apply imme diately to l-M. Mallei, REAL ESTATE BROKER, Thomasville. G4oor*-ia