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Carl Dunder Learns Something. From tlie Detroit Free I’resr. “Hello, Mr. Dunder, I thought you hail hung yourself or gone lmck to Germany,” fainted Sergt. Bcndall ns Carl Dunder entered the W oral- bridge street station. “Sergeant, I vitas pooty near all right now,” was the reply. “I un derstands all about her much petter as I did.” “That's good. Anything new ?" “Veil, not so worry mooch. I learn to understand American a leedle more eafery day. I vhas pooty green ven I first come oafer here, cli ?” “I should remark 1" “Eaferpody makes some finds ol me nil der time, und I vhas discouraged. I vhas hayseeds, eh ?” “Yes, you were.” “Und more ash one million Hies vhas on me ?” “Yes.” “Und 1 vhas so green dot cows like to eat me oop?" “Exactly.” “Vhell, dot makes me laugh ven I think about her, hut my eve teeth vhas all cut ofi now. I vhas on to all dcr games now.” “I see.” “A feller comes into my place two days ago to make me his victim. I spotted him so ijueek you can t wink. He says he like to show me a new puzzle. It vhas called, ‘Now you see him und now doan’ see her.’ He ilakes dcr shack of spades, der ace of hearts, uuil der queen of clubs, und throw ’em all around und den likes to pet me I can’t pick out dot shack. I pick him out fife time right ofi, und dot feller says I vhas lightning.” “But you didn’t hot?” “Oh, no.” “It was lucky you didn’t. That puzzle, as you call it, is the old three card monte business. I warned you about.that a year ago.” “Oh, he doan’ catch me on dot. If he belief I vhas a sucker lie finds out deeferrent. But I vhas a leedle mixed oop, und I like you to explain.” “All right—what is it ?” “In about two hours later an oldt man mit a white heard comes in und says I vhas Carl Dunder? I vhas. I worry glad to see you, Air. Dunder. I hear ahoudt you in Toledo, Cincin nati und Chicago. Eaferpody says you vhas sharp as some razors. , Did sonic young man come in here mit a puzzle? He did. Did he heat you? Not much. Veil, dot vhas all right. He vhas a sharper, und if he doan’ heat you dot makes me laugh—ha ! ha! ha!” “Anil I suppose you set up the beer ?” queried the sergeant. “Yell, he vhas my frendt; I like to use him nice, you know. 1’ooty soon he sits down und pulls out three cards, und says he oxplain dot puzzle. He throws ’em so und so und den tells I can pick out der shack of spades. I put my (ingcr on dot shack, and dot oldt man says I vhas shain-lightning.” “And you tried it again, of course?” “Yes, I pick dot shack omit four times.” “And then ?” “Veil, next time lie says lie likes to het me fife doltar, und I took him oop so quick as wink.” “Aud it wasn’t the jack ? “No; he vhas der ace ! I like you to explain how lie vhas mixed oop 1 like dot!” For answer the sergeant took Mr. Dunder by the hand and led him to the door and dropped him ofi the step anil pointed to the river. “How you mean “Go and jump in ! ” “Vhas I some hayslacks r” “Yes—a dozen of them !” ‘•Und I vhas skwiudlcd again ?” “The worst way!” “Um! Veil, good-by! If somo- body drags oop my body I like dcr papers to say 1 vhas poor hut honest, und dot I died trying to understand how she vhas in America! Ouldt frendt, farewell!” On Their Wedding Journey—She —This is Minerva. He—Was she married? She—No; she was the Goddess of Wisdom.—Life. A Mathematical Expert.—Teacher —If a man has 200 pounds of ice in Ilia wagon aud one-fourth of it is lost by melting,Ihow many pounds does his cuatomcrs pay for ? Boy (whose father is in the busi ness)—Three thousand pounds.—Life. GUARANTEED. 1 |)Os!l lint i ’ KUI! ino.q roM bv drupffiats. under riulee from their manufact- will do just what is claimed benefit or cure in nil cases oh thev are recommended, m will lx* promptly v .« world-famod spe- World’s Dispensary -that of disonsos for ~ or the money paid for tli refunded-jiit Dr. cilirs, ninnnfaotin Medical Associate Dr. I’iorc ’s (Job nil diseases arising liver, or from imp - I ml iff est ion, Pimples, BlotCm-n, uiupuuuo, Salt-rheum, Totter, Erysipelas, and Scrofu- Soro3 and Swellings. Consumption, or of’Buffalo, N. V. i Medical Discovery cures rom a torpid or deranged >d, ns Dyspepsia, or Eruptions, ofula, is also cured by this world-famed remedy for all those chronic weaknesses and distressing derangements so common to American women. It is a most potent, invigorating, restorative tome, or strength giver, imparting tone and vigor to the whole svstem. As n soothing nervine it is uncf]nalcd. guarantee printed on the bottle - wrapper and faithfully carried out .ears. Copyright. 1$8 8 . ! Would's Dif. Med. Ass’jj. ior mi im-ui*ablc case of Ca- farrh iit flic Head by tho proprietors of Dr. Sage’sCatarrh Heinedy. By its mild, soothing and healing properties, it of how long MARVELOUS B1SCSVERY, Jlnnory Tralnina* cil in one reading* llooks Ii« - Mind wandering cared. Every clilld nnd ndn!t tc really benefitted. • Great iactnconi.'atH to C <rresp'>:iienco Classe*. rrowjxjct'12, with opini >:n nf 55r. \Vm. A. Ilnm* mon:i« tho w •! I f' M t S.Mvia:::.t In Mind l>i*cniH*y Daniel Grccnl *; fTii«vi;»- on, ojtist, J. M. ibicklfy, l).t>..e.Uorof tho (.,n*tian T'lnocat'.y. y . Diehard Pro ;tar, the Hcicntir. lions. W. W. A*.tor, Judir \< s| !non, .Until*. 1 Vro I'I'a"’lo IS K TTL?!i!i I CDf It* Av ®.N. Y - CARBONATED2WITH— NATURAL GAS Imported from tlm Mineral Springs on the •Ithiiic, Ger many. oiAlraugVit at L. SCHMIDT'S. DRINK Glen Springs Mineral Water For the Liver and Kidneys. For sale at L. SCHMIDT’S. PASSENGER SCHEDULE — AND — FREIGHT SERVICE InTEitki t Fed. 2fi, 1889, via The PROFESSIONAL CARDS. c:aii.u»vi>. Suwnnee River Route to Florida. an.bird Time same as Macron city time. GOING SOUTH. I.v Maeoii.....:...4 00 pm ■ Wei Is to; 1 Bonaire 1 Kathies Findlay.. Vienna... 1 lllcli wont “ Hahlra... Mineola.. Ar Valdosta. .4 JSpinj ,.507 pm ..5 18 pm Isis! 8 01 pm < 1" Pm < 23 pm ..10 mm ,10 55 pill ,11 Id pm ..11 d5 pm GOING NORTH Valdosta. ...545 am* Mineola.......5 36 am Hahlra 5 54 am Ox moor 6 09 am Adol 6 49 nrn Sparks 6 57 am Loconto 7 09 am “ Eldorado 7 ‘29 am “ Tifton 7 59 am “ Chula 8 17 am “ In ah a 8 33 am “ Sycamore....8 44 am “ Ashburn 8 59 am “ Dakota 9 08 am " ArabI 9 ‘29 am “ Wenona 9 30 am “ Cordclo 9 47 am " Klchwood ..10 00 am " Vienna 10 09 am “ Findlay 10 91 am “ Plnehurst..l0 99 am •• Unadllla....l0 49 am “ Elko ..11 09 am “ Grovanla:„ll loam “ Tlvola 11 31 am *■ Kathleen ...11 42 am' “ Bonalro 1151 am " Wellston....l2 05 pm “ Avondalo ...12 18pra •- Sofkee 12 28 pm Ar Maoon 13 43 pm Unlo: nger trains a> rive and depart from kissenger depot at Macon dally, lit received and delivered At Central Railroad Warehouses. 1 freight trains leavo Macon dally at 6:00 a. m.,aml arrive dally at 8:30 p. in. further Information apply to your sta- gcut or to A. C. KNAPP, Traffic Manager, Macon, Ga. Fie ESI2 MEA TS. \Vc will open, Monday, April 1st, at the plac e lately occupied by Mr. P. II. Hone a fine stock of fresh meats. Beef, Mntton and Pork. Our meets are from our own farms, fat, uicy and sweet. We will be glad to receive our patronage and wilk serve you with the esl meats at the ‘lowest possible prices. ¥. P. Horn k Bb Florida Central —AND— Peninsula Railroad. Formerly the F. It. Sc IV* Co* Standard Time Used—June 2,1889. ■} j 7 j~SOlTHKHN DIVISION 1 8 | 4 500 p 11105 a Lv Fcruandlna Ar 700 p 11 45 a bv Jacksonville Ar C 30 p 1127 a h 8 30 p 12 4‘2 p bv 9 25 p 1 27 p Al‘ 9 55 p 1 42 p Ar Callahan Baldwin Lawtey Starke Waldo 153 p 6 40 a 1242p 5 00a 1158 a 3 55 a 'll 28a 3 90a Ar'lO 62 a 2 50 a llawthorno Ar!10 23 a 2 00a 4 29 p .\r Ocala Ar, 907 p 12 01 p 542 l»Ar .Wildwood Ar 8 00a 9 20p 0 10 p Ar Leesburg Ar 7 35 a 7 53p 010 p Ar Tavares Lv 710a 7 00p 822 p Ar Orlando Lv,545a, 4 00p 30 | T.U l 1)1 VIS r'bv Jacksonville. Ar bv Wildwood Ar Ar Fuuasoffkoo Ar Ar Sumtorvlllo Ar ArSt. Catliorlno Ar Ar Lacoochoo Ar j.-r Dado City Ar Ar Plant City Lv CIO a 845 p 800 p 730 p 6 40p 600 p 5 43 p 4 00 p Id l*t’EDAK KEY DIV. j 14 | 24 1030 a 23 \ 7 00 d 1145 a Lv Jacksonville Ar 150p 610 a « Jo a 4 10 p Lv Waldo Ar 1035 p- 340 p 5 10 a 1 4 53 p Ar Gnlnesvlllo Ar 9 40 a; 230 p 10 45 s« i.Ar Atelier Lv s 25 a 12 15 p ! CUpAr Bronson Ar 14»n H • Ar Cedar Koy Lvl R 30 nl “j j pWESTERN DIVISION 1 ‘7 eo ni 7 15 hi Lv Jacksonvlllo Ar; 320 pi 2 45p c05 p SCOtt Ar Baldwin Ar. 235p/ li6p }?S?iS«;!rr — Cjtr * Live Oik Ar 1223 p { 9 55 a Madison Aril 15 a| 815 a 4 10 a! 12 52 pi Ar Monticollo Lvlo30a, 5 25 a f. 10 a' 2 02 pi Ar Tallahassee Lv 9 50 a 3 20 a 8 0on aO-lraAr Quincy Lv 807 a, 150a 9 20 a' * 00 pj A r River June. Lv | 7J5 1,2, 7, 8, 9. 10,13,14 Dally. 62, and 63 Dally. •3.4. 23, 24, Dally, except Sunday. 30 Dally except Sunday. 31 Dally except Monday, rr.RNANDINA AND t0 | C J JACKSONVILLE BRANCH | 5 | Cl 8 45 p-4 30 a Lv Jacksonville '^HWa-O 00 1005 p-coo a Kr Fcrimndlna Lv 7 13 n-4 30 5 and 6 dally, except Sunday. 60 and 61 Sundays only. 7 13 a m N**w Orleans Express. Shortest an<l quickest "lino to all Middle aud West Florida points, Pensacola, Mobile and New Orleans 7 -.15 a. m. an 1 7 :30 i>. in. trains con- nect through to Thomasville, Montgomery, Nashville, St. Louis. Cincinnati. Chicago and all points North and West. Arrive at 2:4a p. "‘ll'il.l ra m'lMl mul Express for ull points Siinth, Oalnesvlllo. Ocala, I^f-Himrg, Tavores, Ara-nka Orlan-lo, pana«ofriicc t.St. Catharine) D,J.- City, riant City. Arrives at 1:50p. m 7 -00 n rn I_.ca!, conned, through for all nolilts South. Oc»la. Gainesville, l*csbnrt, Tavares, Orlando, Tarpon Springs, Souther. lan-1, St. Petcrahurg. an-1 Tampa. Arrives at DR. M. M. T. HUGHINGSON, of Lake City, Fla., 30 Years in the Practice of Medicine, Offers his professional services to the citi zens of Thomasville and surrounding coun try. Office, 2nd door over A. C. Brown’s store, and A. C. Brown’s residence on Daw son street. d&wGm Sept 17. DR. A. B. COUCH, Modern - Pathology, - Hew - Remedies, DIRECT TREATMENT, Offers his professional services to the citi zens of Tlioinasvillc and surrounding coun try. Office over Steyefman’s store, Brgad street, Thomasville, (Ja. 9-:t-dA w I v W. C. 8NODGKA8S. 13. F. HAWKINS gNODUKASS & HAWKINS, Attorneys-at-Law. Office. Formerly occupied by Entorprlso of- ijl M, McI.VOTSH, Physician & Surgeon, Thomasville, Georgia. £P“OFFICE over Stark’s, comer Broad and Fletcher Streets. JJR,. JOEL B. COYLE. DENTIST ■ THOMASVILLE, GEORGIA. OFFICE, Bronil St., overll’ickctt’s. g (}. mclendon, Attorncy-at-Law, Thomasville, Georgia. Prompt attention givcii to all business en trusted to him. , , Offlcc—Over Watt's storo, corner|,Broau and Jackson streets. J II. COYLE, I). D. S., Resident Dentist, Thomasville, • Goorgla. Offers his sorvlccs to th citizens of Thom* asvlllo and vicinity. Offlco hours—From 9-a. m. to 1 p. m., and fronj2 to 5 p. in. Offlco—On Jackson street. W. D. MITCHELL, K. G. MITCHELL. ■ITCIIELL& MITCHELL, M 1 Attorneys-at-Law, Thomasville, • • Georgia. AVT liHUCE,, M. D. Office, up-stairs. Coinor of Broad and Fletcher streots. [aug 15-'85-3y]. • s. DEKliE, M. D-, - Office in Hayes Buildinj itosldonco— Corner Collogo avenue and Mag nollastreot. „ „ , . ^ Telephone communication, No. 25 for night calls. 15Y FAR THE 1:10 e. 11:45 rn Cumberland IS^ute Ex press, con- Femandlna with steamer City of ; k, dally, f Brunswick, Macon, At- lan*a Chattan^.ga, L/.uU7llle, Cincinnati til. L-mls aud Chicago. Arrives 1:30 p. in. 4-3op in. Fcrnandlna Mall and Express, dally, councctlug Tuesday and Friday with 8tr ht Nicholas for Savannah and way land- Inr-rt Thursday with Mallory Steamers for Mow*York. Arrives 8:50a. m. Sunday train leaves Jacksonville 8:43 a. m. This new service glvoa perfect connections at Baldwin for all points North and Woat, Via Callahan to all points North, East and West. Via Fcrnandlna, connecting with Htr. City of Brunswick, for Brunswick, Macon, Atlanta und all points North and West. D. E. MAXWELL, A.O MAcDONELL, Gen. Manager, G. F. k T. A. N. S. PENNINGTON, Traffic Manager. J. W REID. Agent at Thomasvlllo. Ga. TO THE NORTH NORTHWEST —IRE— L. & JNT. LOUISVILLE & NASHVILLE RAILROAD, —IS THE— SHORT LINE, —WITH — THROUGH SLEEPING SARS, FRXM ALBANY TO NASflIVI IjIjE, EVAN'iVIM.E, HT. I.OLIH. And but one change to LOIII8VILLE CINCINNATI, CIIICAUO. And otUer northern cities. Always ask for tickets via the Louisville k Nashville R. R. For any information, write to C. I\ ATMORK, Gen, Pass. Agt. Louisville, Ky. Parties haying friends in the North should advise thereto take this j-ou^ to JThoraas- villc during*the coming season. routs; —TO— NEW TORX OR BOSTON ,SAVANNAH —AND TfTE— OCEANSTEAMSHIPLINE —OF THE— Central Railroad of Georgia. SUMMER EXCURSION TICKETS Now on sale at reduced rates. Good to return until October Ulst, 1880. Magnificent Steamers and elegant ser vice. Free from the heat ami dust incident to ail-rail routes. If you arc sick the trip will invigorate and build you up. Go east by sea and you'll never regret it. Passengers, before purchasing tickets via other routes, would do well to inquire first of the merits of the Route via Knvnnunh. Further information may be had by apply ing to tho Agent at your station, or to M. S. BELKNAP, \V. F. SI1KLLMAN, General Manager. Traffic Manager I|E. T. CHARLTON, CLYDE BOSTICK, Gen. Pass. Agent. Trav. Pass, Agt., KavAnnah Ga. Grlen&LeM, Contractors & Builders THOMASVILLE, GA. Wo will bo glad to mako contracts for, or superintend, all domes of buildings, public or private, In either brick or wood. Will fur nish plans aud spcciflcailons If required. If you want any building done call on us, and we will submit owtlmates whether contract Is awarded us or not. Wo will guarantee satis faction In all our work. Wo refer to tho many buildings erected by us In Thoiiiasvlllo, nnd to all parties for whom we have worked. Shop on Fletcher st., 2nd door from Broad. Thomasville, Ga., April 3, 1889, N. S. Eaves, CONTRACTOR and BUILDER Thomasvlllo, Georgia. 1 will be gl$d to make contracts foi the construction of all classes of buildings, pub lic and private, In elthor brick or wood. I will guarantee lu every Instance to give satisfaction. Designs and plans drawn and careful estimates made. MT Mono—Good, honest work at fair prices. If you want any building dono call on me. I will submit estimates whether contract is awarded mo or not. I refer to tht many public buildings erected by me in Thomasvlllo and elsewhere, and all parties for whom X bavo worked* THE PEST Direct Route! FROM ALL PRINCIPAL POINTS IN TIIEfSOUTH TO CHICAGO AND THE NORTHWEST. Wo through express trains dAlly, with Pull man Palace Buffet Sleeping Cars by night, ■{ and Chair Cars by day, between Clu- cinnnttl and Chicago, Indlannpo- Its and Chicago, and also be tween Louisville and Chicago, whore close con- P" nectlons are madfe for 8t. Paul, Fargo, BIsmArk, P<»1- laud, Omaha, Kansas City, San Francisco and points intermediate— New Fast Mail, Loavlng Louisville, Dally oxcept Sunday, at 7 *30 a. m. CIncInnatti, Daily, except Sunday, at 7:45. Arriving at Chicago at C :55. The most rapid servlco ever attempted be tween tho Great Commercial Cities on the OhloBlvor and Chicago. jjyl hrough Coupon Tlckots, Baggage check ed to destination, and your safety and com fort provided for, are among tho points that have made the mONON ROUTE Universally and deservedly popular. OHN B.0.VR3ON,''Vico-pros’t and Gon’l Mgr W. II. McDOEL, Gon’l Traffic Manager,- E. O. MCCORMICK, Gen.l Passenger Agent- B. W. GLADING. Passengor and Freight Agt., 158 Broad St.. Thomasville Ga. Whiddon House • (Opposite PlneyWoods Hotel.) THOMASVILLE, - GA E. B. WhiddoA, Prop. Tills house, located In tho most desir able and centrnl part of the city. Is new and completo In every particular. Fur nished in tho most elegant manner nnd provided with all conveniences of mod ern hotels. Tho menu is perfect, and tho sorvlco rendered by trained nnd-po- lito servants. Terms reasonable, and prices graded according to accommoda tions furnished. Carriages from the house meet all trains. . declO-ly B. D. FUDGE, THOMASVILLE, GA., * —-DEALER IN HARDWARE Stoves, Iron, Tin and Hollow Ware, Gus id Spit! Goods of all. kinds, and [agent for King’s 'Powder Co. GEORGE FEARN, REAL 1STAIB ACI \T, OFFICE IN MITCHELL HOUSE BLOCK. Cilj Mil Comlry Proper!) (or Sale, HOUSES RENTED And Taxc* l’> id. LOANS NEGOTIA TED. Bring me a description oi your properly Thomasville Variety WORKS. Reynolds, Hargrave3& Dayis, Prop’rs, Manufacturers and Dealers BOUGH & DR I- ED LUMBER. LATHES, PICKETS, SHINGLES, MOULDINGS, BRACKETS, SCROLL WORK, MANTLES, BALUSTERS* STAIR-RAILS Newel Posts, OFFICE, CHURCH & STORE, Furniture. STORE FRONTS, Witi Screen Doors and Windows, Sash; Doors and Blinds TO ORDER. STAIR BUILDING, AND INSIDEJ HARDWOOD FINISH A SPECIALTY. 8@-CORRESPONDENCE SOLICITED. PRETTY I will sell the Henry McLendon place, 3 miles out on the Mag nolia road to a good man on easy terms, at $2,5oo. This is the best small farm, all things considered, in the county. 7 acres in pears, other im- provementsmoderate. Open land for 2-horse farm, admirably ad apted to fruit and vegetables, dairying etc. Ill 1-2 acres, good water and neigli borhood; worth $5,ooo but will sell at $2,Goo. Also the Pittman- Thomas place, con sisting of 77 1-2 acres 2 1-2 miles from court house on right side of Magnolia road. No waste land, level and clay soil ; about half open la.nd, balance in beautiful woods, good ten acre pear orchard, just beginnin g to bear, small house,fine crops raised this year Will throw in a good male and one-horse wagon, farming implements, etc., and plenty of feod and seed to raise next crop. Better worth $6ooo than most places about town for which that sum is charged, but can be bought at $3,ooo on easy terms. To a man who wants a little farm conve nient to Thomasville, on which he can easi ly earn a good living, I unreservedly and honestly recommend either of these places. HisilTlRiL Four furnished rooms, up stairs, parlor and kitchen privileges down stairs, elegant neighborhood, Dawson street, for rent at 867.50 a month. This is a bargain. Bryant place, Jackson St., Flctcli- crville, house with 5 rooms, for rent at 810.00 per month. 4 unfurnished rooms, up-stairs, new and elegant neighborhood, Dawson street, at $20,00 per month. No children wanted. 5 room house on Washington st., near Broad st., at 815,00 per month, by the year, Large 7 room house on Madi son street, near center of town, at $20.00 per month. This is a desirablfc and cheap house. Upstais of house on Calhoun street. Furnished house in East End, 5 rooms besides dining room and kitchen, at $50 per month. REAL ESTATE BROKER, Themasville. Greor-'ia