Newspaper Page Text
SOUTHERN BANNER: AUGUST 6, 1878.
Low Flit Lind. !
ST JONHS.
Thetc wnx a man aud his name was Brown,
Ami he lived about a mile and a half from
ton n ;
And this here feller he waa awfully down
In the mouth, for his crap wax liken for to
drown,
Been* l is 80 wax low, flat laud.
Ids very midriff hi; niked and pained '>
As he notised how the weather mined and
rained; ■■ •
And hia dratted 80 hit couldn’t be drained.
And hi i corn wr.s vallcr and the weeds they
gained,
.And til l taldpoles threatened for to take that
land.
If a cloud come up a9 big as a gourd,
Why, that wa» enuff, and Jiit ripped and
roared,
As if u!l the water that ever wax stored
Sines the days of Noah had suddenly poured
On that miserabl 1 80 of low, flat laud.
The weather bu *o bit wu* all in a musa;
And itstid of gittin better the weather got
wuss;
And Brown ’lowed he wouldn’t raise nnthin
but pus—
Leey, aid he didn’t do quthin but cgss
And mope around the edge of that low, flat
land.
But Missis Brown, slio usen fot to smile,
And she sed sbo thought it wan’t wutli while
for a banian for to let their temper rile
\V hen Providence wanted for to moisten the
siie,
And drip a little wntet on that low, flat land.
Aud so. while Brown be poked fild slumped,
His wife slio waa’t a partikle stumpt;
And imo the weeds this woman she jumped,
And oil summer long she fairly humped,
Hcitcltto makes erup on that low, flat land.
i< . .
And when the eoru-gethen a time came rouud,
lustea l of crap all gettin drowned,
Thar wus 80 to the aker on that low, flat
ground;
And Brown sed he rceone 1 as bow he found
Hit wu;; more in the woman than it wax in the
land ,. —Monmouth (Ill.) Review.
The Trimbles of a Poet.
While Colonel Bangs, editor of
the Argus, was „siti ing. in his. office
one day, a man- whpse - hrofv , was
clothed •-with thunder entered.
Fiercely seizing a chair, slammed his
hat on the table, luirl id fas umbrella
on the floor and sat ilojfn.
“ Ar.- you editor ?’■ 1R asked.
•• Yes.”
“•Can you read read writing ?”
*• Of cours e.”
“ Read tliat, then,” he said, thrust
tug at. the colonel an envelope with
an inscription on it.
“ B said the Colonel, try-
ing to spell it.
“ That’s riot a B. It’s au 3,” said
the man.
*• S; O yes; I see! Weil, the words
look a little like ‘ Salt for Dinner,’ or
* Souls of Sinners,”’ said the Colonel.
“No sir,’’ replied the man, “ noth*
ing of the kind ! That’s my name—
Sam’i II. Brunner. I knew you
couldn’t read. I called to nee you
about that poem of mine you printed
the other day, on the Surcease of
Sorrow.’”
“I don’t remember it,’* said the
Colonel.
*‘Of oou.se you don’t because it
went into the paper under the infa*
mous title of ‘Smearcase To-morrow.’”
“A stupid blunder of the compo
sitors, I suppose.’’
“ Yes, sir and that’s wliai I war.;,
to see you about. The way in which
that poem was mutilated was simply
scaudeious. I havn’t slept a night
since. It exposed me to derision.
People think I am an ass. Let tne
show you,’’ ' /
4 Co ahead,” said tho Colonel.
“ Tne first line, wheu I wrote it,
read in this way.
‘Lying sy a weeping willow, underneath• gen-
• tie dope.
That is beautiful, poetic, affecting.
Now how did your vile sheet present
it to t he public ? There it is! Look
at that! Made it read this way
“ Lying to a weoping widow to induce her to
«1o]ie.
Weeping widow, mind yon! A
widow ? This is too much! It's
enough to drive a matt crazy!”
“I’m sorry,’’ said the Colonel;
“ but—’’
“ But look a*herc at the fourth
verse, said the man. “That’s worse
yet. What I said:
‘Cast thy pearls lefore the swine, and lose t! era
in the dirt.
I wrote that out clearly and distinct*
ly, in a plain, round hand. Now,
what does your compositor do?
Doesjie catch the sense of that beau
tiful sentiment ? Nor sir! He sets it
up im this fashion. Listen :
‘ Cart thy pilla before the sunrise and love
them if they hart.
Now, isn’t that a cold-blooded out
rage on a man’s feelings? I’ll leave
it to yon if it isn’t?’’
“ It’s hard, that’s a fact,” said the
Colonel.
“ And jlhen Uafcq* the .fifth verse-
In the-, original manuscript; it said,
plainjiS daylight : - -—_____
* Take away the jingling money, it is only
glittering dross.
A man with only one eye, and a
cataract over that, could Lave read
the words correctly. But your pi
rate ap8tairs~there, 'do you 'know
what he did ? He made it read:
' Take sway the jeering monkeys on a sorely
glanderec hone !'^
By George, I felt like braining him
with a fire shovel! I was never so
cut up iu ray life.’’
“It was natural, too,” said the.
Colonel.
“ There, for instance, was the sixth
verse. I wrote:
‘ I am weary with tho tossiug of the ocean as
it heaves.
It is a lovoly line, too ; but imagine
my horror and the anguish of my
family, when I opened your paper,
and saw the line transformed into: '
* I am wearing ont my trousers till they’re open!
at the knees!’
That is a little too much ! That seems
to me like carrying the thing an finch
or two too far. I think I have a
. i. . *
constitutional right to murder that
compositor; don’t you f”
“ I think you have.’’
“ Let me read you one more verse.
I wrote:
‘ I swell the flying ochocn as they roam among i
tha hills, ’ f
And I feel uiy soak awaken to tilt ecstasy that
thrills.’ •
No, what do you s’pose your .misera
ble outcast turned that into? Why,
into this:
*' . )!•' ,
‘ I smell the frying shoes as they roast, i.longj
the bulb., : •’ l ' ••• > • ' 1
Audi peel my sole mis'iabeti £n the ere et ary
Iha^lytl*/ . ;
Gibberish, sir! Awful gibberish! I,
murt .-lay that man. Where is lm
at?” > <
lie i< out just now, said ■ the
Colonel. *• Coute in to-morrow.”
1 will,’’ said the. poet; “ and I
will come armed.”
Then he put on his hat, shouldered
his umbrella, and drifted off down
stairs.
The Educational Wants of
Middle and Southwestern
Georgia.
We are in receipt of two letters
from prominent and influential gen
tleman, one a citizen of Milledgeville,
the other of Cuthbert, urging that a
branch of the State University be lo
cated at each of those places. \ j"
^ .Our Milledgeville friend asks that
the Legislature donate the old Capt
tol and grounds for an agricultural or
military school, with such additional
endowment as may be necessary.
The represent!idi^e fro m Cuthbert,
(a moat .exemplary and- public spiri-
Never too Lat e to Learn.
‘Socrates, at an extreme old age,
learned to play on musical instru
ments’
Cato, at eighty years of age, be
gan tc> study the Greek language.
. Pluiaroh, when between seventy
and eighty; commenced the study of
Latin.
Boccaccio was thirtyffivo years of'
age when lie commenced Irs studies
in light literature; yet litrbccame one
of the greatest masters of the Tuscan
dialed,—Dante and Plutarch being
the other twy. ; j > | *
Sir Henry Sjw Imau neglected the
sciences in his youth, hut commenced
announces t..at the poo
■ flalu-.! tte study of them when he was be*
^ftoj^ of jOl^tTiVlnteriof towns of Ween fifty and sixty years of age.
Our
(Coffee How to Make ilt.
For a long time I used the coffee^
as coarsely ground as is usually sold
in the Bhops. Although procuring
the best berries jiossible, I did not
uniformly succe ed in procuring at tlio
breakfast table a first rate beverage.
I consulted many wiseacnis, some of
whom said that the water used should*
be hotter, others that the coffee
should be soaked in cold water, etc
By accident one day, I happened; to
have the coffee re-ground to the
thinness of snuff Herein lay tl«
mystery. I have never since foiled
to obtain a strong, full flavored bev
erage, an<L that too without using a
large quantity of coffee.
glufttl ri-ady to
imie&aimplp no the State,
.sown as the
exa JJ^tffuWj^ollege, with
UgnJAind adjacent, indu
ing spring of
ition t a new. and
i Academy, ofaich
acres more of
ed land. The
iguous, and other
could
|ble prices, "eijpugh
\<t ibal&*tn admirabile^tperi-
ar,u - - ,
corr«npondviip??laim3 that
SouUrwelU&T Georgia slfoftld be pro
videiJfAWjBaj’ikbp fqnd derived from
thesim?T>ftliS’G'ovorJiuiiit Agricul
tural scrip, as it is too Inconvenient,
and (Ms ton much teeiixi<fter sons
to |jpW^ithdns.”
Both dries will bejibly represented
by their best tnen at the approaching
t^e tln^t ity Board of
. «, Athens.foud iviH-theit and
if
e yA^dirablj(_*i\i! should like
to sec tho pjgyer both
n^ratflcd. tjJl ufd%rcat-.
l v) 3rtlifflce tlil’cdricatiur.al advanta
ges of flic ciriWitonWealth, anti two
a Y"' *■*>-»■ . ' * • . «».-r
schools equally with that
be of ituutloula-
After this he became a most learued
antiquarian and lawyer.
Doctor Johnson applied * himself to
the D itch Language but. a few years
before ills death; 11 1 • l i I .ill
Ludovico Monaldesco, at the great
age of 115 0" f CX?
of his own times.
Ogilby, the translator of Homer
and Virgil, wa$ ui)^qu;^ited. with
Latin atuV Greek until lie was past
fifty. • « ■ ’
Franklin did not fully commence
hisjphilosophical pursuits till lie bad
1....1 ll. O 1
til
PUBLISHED EVERY TUESDAY MORNING AT
j / <4 f | .
Terms, $2.00 a Year, Invariably in Advance.
reached his fiftit-th j-ear.
Di-jden, in his sixty.-efijhth year,
conmienced the translation of the
Iliad, his most pleasing production.
Tltousands of ex.iiuples ofirtJn wllo" v
cAmn f Aiced a nmri mniify-j either tor
livvliuood i.r a.iiust-iiient, at an ad
vanced age could he cited. But ev
ery one tim^n^r witif Jite l)i<fgjj:ipiiy
of distinguished men will recoiKct in
dividual cases enough to convince
him that none Iml the siek aud indo
lent w ill ever say: “ I am too old to
learn.” • *
An Arkansas Cow.
‘ The yield of milk' from ^Norlftern
dairy cows is incredible to tU‘|jwo|w
in regions where cattle are raised
mostly for beef and hides.
at Dbhlouega,
ble benefit to 1
But the means to consummate
these desirable projects we appre
hend wou ld have to be provided fW ’fw'BWfi MjilUl■! fllonrh hat,, and a gemt ;
Stat.ti
by taxatiot. under the tew, constitu
tion"’ of Cite' State,ayijT .fhjvpne we
would.cheerfully abqnI^.^rTif : ‘l|ch
measure.
It is almost icnpossilile to expend
<5»tlbddf 'riiHf\([^Qwl0gvirtnally
control- the gftfernmewif bOtll» State
and Federal.V^ut ! tfio present
instance, so far as tho avails of the
agricultural ««ript»re njoncerned, we
do not see h^w they could be consis-
fjom,- their present
Aeut#|*sLliv«
‘channels. 1
Predicated upon tho-promise to in
corporate the fund with the Univer
sity eiido^Tneu^ . the city of Athens
built Moore College at her own
charges, ‘ and' the Sta te expended
$15,000 for its equipment. The old
mint at Dablonega was given by the
government of the United States
ning a n’mn that the
tar quaffs W milk a
The “Southern Banner,” established in the year 1816.
A H’ll IF lift
is, consequently, sixty-two years old. Beginning when sci-
-- ! i l ; f}
ence in this country was, comparatively speaking, in its in
fancy when the “art” of printing was carried on by a slow
A tourist traveling in Sweden wa JiM«ll|%^itl|(»|[) V t$p'4ia^i%8h 0 uId
intensely delighted wit It the c oftee Be converted into tin educational e9-
served on tho steamboats and hotels, tablishment, -and bo regarded a
At.Upsala we determined to find out branch ofthc University,
bow they made such perfect
as wc had just drank, and stepped
into the neat little kitclun of the * 1 2 l ^§fay hold that the- University
tel, and this was the reportJl laspeottHiiriarilifveks* riUu in the
Tftke any kind of coffee pot or urn %ric«flttiMl &rf^m1& z-Tdegraph
and snspend a bag made of felt or
very heavy flannel, so long that it
reaches the bottom, bound oh n wire
just fitting the t:*p; put in the fresh
ground pure coffee, and pour on
freshly boiled writer. The (laid filters
through the bag and may tie used at
once; needs no settling and retains
all the aroma The advantage of this
over ordinary filter in Us economy, as
the-coffee stands and soaks out the
strength instead of merely letting the
water pass through it.
A French chemist asserts that if
tea be ground like coffee before hot
water is poured upon it, it will yield
nearly double the amount of exbilera
ting qualities.
Another writer says:
ine butternut suit, ttying to sell a
cow i&tike-rnarket- therfe.- It was* a
animal^ ami the
itfer iivjas info:
Wd'give
day, iLfed well.
Up stepped the Ju^ge. “What
do you ask for that cow ?’’
“ About $30. She’ll give five
quarts of milk, if yon feed her well,”
replied the planter, and he proceeded
to describe her go oil qualities.
Said the Judge“ I have cows on
my farm, not much more than half as
big za yonr cow, which give twenty
to twenty-five quarts of milk a day.”
The planter eyed the Judge sharply
for a moment, as if trying to remem
ber whether he had ever seen him
before or not, and then asked :
“ Stranger where do you live ?’’
“ My home is in Iowa.”
Yes, stranger, I don’t dispute it.
There was heaps of sogers from Iowa
down here during the war, and,
stronger, they was the all-firedest li
ars itt the whole Y r ankec army*
Mebbe you motight be an officer in
some of them regiments?
and tedious pijoeess--tvh : eiV “buck skin balls” were used to
j>re4A4hl ink over the rough and unsightly types upon which
the paper was printed, with Home News one and Foreign
NewsAwo months old, the different Proprietors have battled
with Trie changes dRHime—kept pace with the advancement
of science, and the rude types and rough presses have been
laid aside and their places are now occupied bylall the beau
tiful appliances known to the art.
! The-BANNETR is not only\the oldest but the 'largest paper
it*.; i} ’'
in North-east Georgia, and its columns are weekly tilled with
reading matter sfoited to all classes aqdconditions, embracing
•x^i#J5,^(felTICS,
|r^ri» . r *<!
ART, SCIENCE,
- 3 -- ’ fLITERATlJgjP, POETRY,
AGRICULTURE, HORTICULTURE,
DOMESTIC AND OTHER RECEIPTS,
STORIES, WIT, HUMOR, &C., AC
and Mes»mg*r.
Some time since a clever Tuscueran
was arrested for cattle staling and
hanfed u]> before Judge Flack at
Elko for trial. The jury acquitted
him without leaving the box, and
upon his return here a friend inquired
as to thti result of his trial. “No
cause of action,” said the gentleman;
44 1 merely killed the ox in self-de
fense and ate him for spite, and, of
course, 1 was acquitted by the intel
ligent jury.”
Loyd Garrison 44 confidently pre
dicts” that women will vote within
If you put a piece "of lump sugar the next decade, and Wend«.-H Phil-
the size of a walnut into a tea pot,
you will make the tea infuse in half
the time.
Persons who have tried this last
experiment say that the result is satis
factory.—Journal of Chemistry.
lips says that 44 if we gain in the
coming fifteen years as much as we
have in the last thirty, women will
hold spear and shield in her own
hands.’’
PRESCRIPTION _____
For th * r needy Cure of .Seminal Weakiie**,
Manhood and all dlaorden bronght nu by indis
cretion or excess. Any Druggist ha-i the I ngre-
dients. Address, Dr. M. IaQCIX A CO..
130 tl’est Sixth Mtnei, Cincinnati, O.
TOTHB
Citizens of Athens
Ax&d Vicinity.
The nmlcrairned has this day purchnsAi from
his brother, Maj. THOMAS A. BURKE, bis
entire interoat in the BOOK AND STATION
ERY BUSINESS AT ATHENS, and intend* to
run a
First Class Book Store,
ln| which the Beet Goods, latest and most popu
lar Boo)ts, aud indeed evenrthing oauVily kept
in a Good, Well Appointed Book Store, may be
found- Being connected with the well known
tnd extensive whoiesaie house of
J. W. BCBKE &CO., MACON, GA.
His facilitic-s for keeping up stock and keeping
everything at Bottom Prices, will give luma
decided advantage in buying Boots ,fcc, at
Lowest Rates, anil lie intends to give his custo
mers tho full benefit of in, by
SELLING AS CHEAP AS THE CHEAPEST.
He asks Ida old friends iu and around Athens,
to give him a share of tho patronage. To all
he extends n hearty invitation to cotue mid buy.
Maj. T. A. Burke will still be connected with
the house, and will have charge of the business,
and ho asks his friends and the public to con
tinue tiie. patronage heretofore besiowed on him.
JOHN W. BURKE.
June U.t:
NOW IS THE TIME TO SUBSCRIBE.
In view of the vital questions which are agitating this and
foreign countries, anti the elections that are to take place this
fall in Georgia and throughout the United States, a synopsis
and discussion of which will be contained in our columns,
we are sure that our paper will not only be acceptable but a
necessity to every family. Therefore, send in your names
and money anti keep posted with the progress ot the times.
(BP^-nUlliWfcKHrt.w-Sr HS.W,, . .. . .. .
c 0 II R E S-BO N I>E N CI E, j
Recognizing the fact that nothing adds more to the popu
larity of a paper than an interchange of views between
those among whom it circulates, we invite correspondence
upon all topics of interest to the public, and especially the
current news and agricultural progress of the section of coun-
try in the territory of North-east Georgia.
vj| o ADVERTISE 11S.
With a bona tide circulation of 2,000 copies weekly which
guarantees not less than 8,000 readers, throughout- Georgia
and the South, and especially in North-east Georgia, one ot
the richest sections in the South, we are confident that ad
vertisers could find no better medium through which to make
their wants known than the columns of the Scjtherx
Banner. Address, H. H. CARLTON,
Editor & 1’rop’r-