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YOL. XX. NO 41
VIENNA. GA. THURSDAY MAY
1003.
TERMS $1.00 PER YEAR
People spend lots of money fool
ishly at funerals.
The season is here when tho boys
rather fish than work.
Some men play to public opinion
and do not accomplish much.
A man out west is named Aohe,
and he has a son named Billy.
A girl at 10 will scorn tho kind
of a man she would marry at 26.
□The more wo learn of tramps,
thelesB patience wo have with them.
The man with the loudest voice
is not always the best buiness man.
A man cannot bo blamed for be
ing a failure; he does the best he
knows. ,
Most any lovely character will
tell a lib about 'her approaching
marriage.
You have one thing at least to be
thankful for: That you are not
frying sized chicken on the way to
market.
It is polite, at this season, not to
mention the onions on your neigh
bors breath.
L Women are taking well to bus
mess, considering (hat they cannot
- trim a pencil.
Usually it is necessary to ask a
• man twice, to give him time to make
_ f up his mind.
\ ^Sgreat failing with most of us
is to''furnish our enemies a olub
with whidh to beat us.
If you lose a lover or a street
oar, don’t worry; there will be an
other along in a few minutes.
Talk about being busy; 1 would
hate to cook three meals a day and
take care of three or four children.
When a thing goes wrong with a
man, he is sure to look around for
some one on whom to lay the blame.
We would just like to see
one man who is perfect enough to
come up to those described in the
love stories.
When we are introduced to a boy
twelve years old, we are at a loss to
know whether to pat him on the
head or shake his hand.
I
If the people you meet were to
jerk from you the garments they
would criticise, you would not go
far with much on you.
When a woman has a cold, she
only says she has a cold, but when
a man has one, he claims to have
the worse case of gripp he ever had
When a man tells you a secret
and insists that you keep it, you
feel a bit blank when another-re-
peats it in your presence as a piece
of public gossip.
$
When a man gets sick, the neigh
bors think nothing of the visits of
the doctor; butwhen the lawyer is
sent> for, they think he. has given
tip and is making his will.
When a woman’s dress fits well,
she compliments herself on being
such a good figure to fit. But
when it does not fit, she lays the
blame on the dress maker.
What an iwful freak of nature
we would consider it if a few birds
in the swamp were required to get
WOMAN’S COLUMN.
Woman is most perfect when
most womanly.
Raising a weight above the head
is one way to cu.e some headaohes.
At Poughkeepsie, N. Y., there is
a sohool of Practical Agriculture
for ladies.
The woman behind the was! board
is often superior to the one in front
of tho piano.
The motner of ono child wonders
how in the world a woman gets
along who has six or eight.
Most of Miss Alice Roosevelt’s
touring in Porto Rico was done on
a flat car in company with Gov.
Hunt and family, or on horseback.
A woman under arrest for biga
my declares that any girl who mar
ries a man is a fool. Any girl who
marries a woman is still a bigger
fool.
A pittsburg preacher, who is op-
posed to dancing, says that tho saw-
buok and washtub will give a more
graceful carriage. ■
A philosopher deolares that thv
reason why woman’s teeth dcoay
sooner than men's is not because of
the friction of the tongue but the
sweetness of the lips.
Miss Carrie Nation cleared $3.-
000 on a recent trip to tho Paoitic
coast and she has purchased a house
in Topeka, Kansas, for dependent
wives of drunkards. "
Don’t worry. Worry wrinkles
are the tiniest, hardes, fircest wrink
les in the world to eradicate. They
are so deep that nothing will get
them out of the skin.
A man in Chioago offered to leave
$1,000,000 to the girl or woman
who would satisfactorily perform
the duties of a servant in his house
hold while he lives.
A New York lawyer has just mar
ried a girl for whom ho recovered
$10,000 in a law suit. Not con
tent with a fair fee, he seemed de-
terrnined to get all of it.
In the first year of the United
States Patent Office's existence, 1790
a woman took out a patent. Up to
the present time about 3,958 pat-
ents have been granted to women.
Reggie Vanderbilt gave his bride
a million dollars as a wedding pres
ent. Probably it more marriages
were financed in this effective man
ner not so many of them would be
failures.
EDITORIAL.
There are 76,000 white teachers
in the southern states.
Bank deposits have increased 86
per cent in ten years.
The month of April iB expected
to break all records for immigra
tion from Europe.
Wisconsin has paid its state
debt, which was but two and a half
millions, in lull.
Improvements under way by tho
railroads of the United States ag
gregate nearly $400,000,*000.
New York holds the record
among the world’s great cities for
mysterious disappearances. Last
year 630 people were absolutely
missing.
The four greatest needs of Greece
—grain, coal, iron and lumber—are
the ones whioh the United States
would best be able to supply,
The yearly gross earnings of the
United Slates- Steel corporation are
approximately equal to the gross
revenue reoeiveu by tile United
States government.
up in a corner and sing in
for the rest of the birds; and what^nd Upbbett.
When the worries and cares of
the day fret you and begin to wear
on you and you chafe under the
friction, be calm. Stop, rest for a
moment, and let calmness and peace
assert themselves.
Just as you are smiling to day
over the trival worries of last year
so you will smile sometimes ovdr
those of to day. For time is the
sunlight that drives away the fogs
and clouds in ltfe.
Miss Celeste J. Miller is the
greatest woman traveler in the
world. She has made her fifth
journey arouad the world. There
are but four countries she has not
visited;' Alaska, Iceland, Green
land and Madagascar.
Mrs. Robert Fitzsimmons is dead.
She was the only woman present at
**“* figbt with her husband
the ring
a dreaiy world this would be to the an< * coao ^ e ^ her husband and it was
birds’ , through her keen thoughts that won
(the fight.
The navy costs a million dollars
less than the army. The; total cost
of tho war and navy departments is
not much greater than the pension
ropriation. whioh is now the
largest single itom.
- ....... , • fu-
One hundred sisters of the Order
der of the Daughters of Jesus have
left Brest owing to the olosure of
their establishment. Thirty ol them
are going to Belgium, thirty to
Canada and forty to the United
States.
Dunlap, the hat man, began bus
iness with $2,000 half of which be
used in advertising. In view of
his success it would be bard to Bay
which was the better half of his cap
ital.
It has been estimated by an ex
port in the employ of the govern'
ment that agricultural machinery
reduces the number of men em.
ployed to do a given amount of
work to one-third, while manufaot
uring machinery reduces the num
ber one fifth.
Although the Nicaraguan canal
would bp in all 170 miles long, yet
only 27 miles would have to be act
ually excavated. One hundred and
twenty-one miles traverse two riv
ers and a lake, and 22 miles would
be through artificial basins.
The only daily newspaper in tfie
world publishing “sure-enough’
dispatches transmitted by wireless
telegraph had its birth on March
25, at Avalon, Santa Catalina Is
land. The event is important in
the history of journalism and, marks
the beginning of an epoh in the dis
semination of news in isolaied
places. The name of the infan
journal is The Wireless.
The average life of a locomotive
on the railways of England is
twenty-six years, and on those of
France twenty nine years. In the
Ignited States the life of an engine
is but eighteen years—not because
'the good die young but because it
has run in eighteen years about
2,000,000 miles, a distance the En
glish locomotive would' be given
thirty-six years to cover.
ALL SORTS.
Money is pretty tight with a man
who has no loose change.
There are 40,000 persons in the
mnnioipal sorvioo of Now York
City.
Aii ouuoe of keep your mouth
shut is worth a pound of try-to-
square yourself.
Canadian trade with Great Brit
ain has moreasod over $0,000,000
in the past year.
Tho Now York post office re
ceives 3,600 letters a day whioh are
known to be misdirected.
Ringling Bros, oirous has two
teams of Zebras broken to harness,
the first ever known.
An improved machine for sealing
I envelopes has been invented by a
man in Topeka, Kan.
The population of Ireland, whioh
fifty years ago was over S,000,000
is now less than 4,500,000.
If you want to see a funny pict
ure hunt up a photograph of your
self taken twenty or thirty years
ago.
Join tho “Don’t Worry’’ olub.
Then plan and think and work, and
you will lead a happier and more
useful life.
If the boy who exolaims, “just
my luck,’’ were truthful, ho would
say, “Just my laziness.’’ or “just
iny intention.’’
The largest round hairspring in a
watoh is four-hundreths of an inch
diameter and about nine hun
dreds of an inoh in lengtu.
Mr. Feodor Machow, of Russia
is the largest human being in the
world. He is 7 feet 9 inches in
height.
Did you ever know of an instance
in whioh worry helped any one?
No. It shortens your life and
you all know our lives will be short
enough as it ib.
Some men are so anxious to make
the world think well of thorn that
they have sumptuous fare m public
places while their children gets
crusts at home.
OUR RURAL FRIENDS.
Clean up the front yard aud the
bade yard.
Why is a hen immortal? Her
son never sets.
Illinois has 204,161 farms and
230,026 of theso have dairy cattle.
Eggs constitute the most universal
human food of animal origin.
Plover eggs are esteemed a great
dolioacy in Englond and Germany.
Tako your wife and attend a show
in town occasionally. Take the
ohildron along too.
Hens’ and ducks’ eggs are oom-
monly offered in markets, but tur
key eggs are seldom oaten.
What is the .use of keeping the
old tumble down wagon? Break it
up or do something with it.
Womonas farmers aro receiving
many good words nowadays from
the agricultural and other journals,
lntererest is growing in the good
roads movement all over the coun
try.
Four crops of corn aro produced
yearly in Cuba. The first crop is
planted in December and the fourth
is harvested in December.
Now what kind of chickeuB have
you got this year? Just scrubs?
Well, it doesn't pay to keep them.
Why not get boiuo pure blooded
stock?
y, in what condition is your
house and outbuildings? Remaps
they need repairing or a coat of
paint. ¥ou haven’t any idea what
a change it would make,
The largest asparagus farm of
the world is said to be one of 1,700
acres near Stookdon, Cal., and hear
it are other large farms bringing
the acreage up to 3,900.
It is rumored that King Edward’s
horses are to be exhibited at the Sit.
Louis fair. And, of course, a small
army of attendants will aocompany
them.. Think of it? All the king’s
horses aud all the king’s men!
Paris is said to be the cleanest
city in the world. Every morning
2,000 male and 000 female scav
engers, divided in 149 brigades,
turn out to perform the toilot of the
capital.
Fill a bottle two-thirds full of
broken glue, fill up with whisky
Cork tight and set in warm place.
This makes an excellent general
purpose glue, quick drying and will
keep for years.
The business of mining offers ex
cellent fields for young men to try
their fortunes. They add new
wealth to the nation, to themselves
and to others without taking it from
anyone.
'Germany has found out that the
potato has other uses than genera
tmg energy. They make alcohol
from the tuber and use it for power
for various machinery. The cost
isTV cents per gallon.
If some one will" invent a per
manent typewriter ink it will do the
business yrord ft* great, service amji
piobably a good business stroke ^or
himself. Aniline ink f$apt to fade
if exposed to light.
The farmers of this country own
about 600,000,000 acres of wood
land ten times the auerago of all the
Federal forest reserves. Most of
this consists of small wood lots
from which the owner derive their
tiinber supplies for farm purposes.
Cornshucks during the present
season have becu brought up for
tho purpose of utilizing them in the
manufacture of a new style of hat
which may become both fashionable
and popular next summer. The
process of working shucks into hats
is novel, somewhat intricate, and is.
protected by patent, it is said that
samples alreahy turned out are ar
tistic, light aud strong.
Between 3,000 and 4,000 head of
Texas cattle will be shipped to South
Alrica in April oi May. Major W.
Maud, of Texas, late of the British
army, says that no horses or mules
will be shipped because the South
African market w almost over
stocked wi,th, those beasts of burden.
It is the cattle market that is de
pleted, an^tliPfleifadB/ of iieadl''of
-American cattle will be sln^peil to
South Africa to restook the farms
} the bushers. .