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'Do not speak slightingly of tho
rooster because he does not lay eggs;
remember Chrtymgig is .(joking. .
If ygu could Judge by' appearances,
the floorwalker would, own the store.
Most any man can-shift his views on
the tariff overnight If the other side
gives promise of furnishing him with
a better job. .
How , would you like to be the at
mosphere In, a, presidential year?
, k r~ i{
Freese to a friend from whom you
can borrow money until he asks you
to return some of It.
While justice Is blind, sometimes you
fancy that its trained ear can. hear tho
clink of money. ■. s
Count your chickens before they arc
hatched, If you think flgures woa’t lie.
If time Js money, ragtime Is probably
rag money.
TTbe progress
Publshed Every Thursday.
H D SMITH, Editor ami Publisher
Entered at tho Rostoflloa in Vienna
Gn., is second-class mail iimttor.
Gossip Is n feminine pastime wlilch
when practiced by men is simply get
ting a lfne on
things. VjL
There might be a difference of opin
ion ns, to whether a poorhousc wore
better'than none. ‘
Also Several Things.
Ton And on talking to tho man
It Isn't uuoh a joke,
Because the ono who also ran
You learn Is also broko.
better'than
Possibly the mule does not care how
soon the automobile tdkes Its place as
flr?t aid . to war.
A soft answer
tumeth many a
fresh young
man down.
Needs a Bodyguard.
She—It Is not good for man to be
alone.
He—I should say not when there Is
a holdup man on each corner.
•S GRFAT ATTRACTION.
When a politician tells tho truth-you
may be sure that he lias a point to
gain, by doing so.
In those states where the women
vote does the law also give them a
right to sit up all night to wait for the
returns?
No wonder
With pr r
Declarlns ■
That Ufo •
Wo .w.use .
!■ welcome spring
ilmuksglvlngf
" idrdles slm?
r • rth living.
11 keeps the data
delaying,
scarce can wait,
■ arc laying,
•up, cold storage' eggs
winter dining
c. stomach pegs
... .ichher lining.
•'•’ho Ions ., they tire kept in store
TJk- less 'hey hold attraction,
And so we long for Bpring once more
And for the hen In action.
Tho murmur of the com fed hen,
Tho music of her cacltlc.
Are melodies that stir us when
The storage egg wo tackle.
Imagination wafts us high
To peaks aloft nnd dizzy,
Where wo can look down from tho nky
And watch the hens get busy.
Then hall the great domestlS bird.
Sweet consort of tho rooaterl
Who wouldn't apeak for her ft word?
Who wouldn't be her booster?
And may she kindly stretch n point
And set tho works In motion'
If gentle spring Is out of joint
Or has a backward notion.
A bad pen ip,
will rclutn to
the ebfiochcun'
pi u to
PBRT PARAGRAPHS.
When a boy Is named Boy It !b at-a
time that he Is too small to lick those
who hand him such a cognomen.
• citation ip more brll.
•a I thing.
SdiT'rflmoa thi
limit than the 1
Isn’t tho promoter with stock in sell
In a radium mine almost duo?
It is a universal weakness of the city
man to think that ho would be n glit
tering success ns manager of a chicken
farm.
Tnit-: It Away. .
I don’t ilk.- 10 complain.
But If there Is anything that gives mo a
pain
It Is to have a r-reat, big. ten by twelve
splinter
From the backbone of winter
Sticking over Into spring
When It Is clearly time to ring
Off on zero days
And maRe n raise
AorMRTHA 1
y//CAMNOT Tl
Of a few bushels of Bunshtne.
Several baskets of superflno
Perfume lndoned air,
Some breezes from down whoro
Tho orange blossoms grow
And where snow
Is a curiosity.
But, dear met
It fs a different thing
Wtien you’re looking for spring
A man likes .to get board where lie
won’t get bored.
Yellow dogs think that this country
Is suffering from an overproduction of
tin cans.
. However, Washington was both too
modept and too truthful to say himself
that he neve? told a lie.
On most every train,
Expecting It to alight, take off Its things
and. remain,
To .have the baggageman unload a ear
of toe
Actors will bo pleased to' fall down
and worship any one who will Invent a
stage that Is all center.
— i'.
Judging from his actions yon some
times think that the man without a
past is. trying his best to accumulate Before the snow Is off tho ground
one. what a wonderful gnrdon a man raises
— ! in his mind.
The fact that horse traders are born ' —
nnd not. made Is no particular credit to Of course what Washington told his
their parents. wife when he came home after a night
— ,f ‘ \j[it^,H»e.boys does not count
It Is a slow office boy who does not —
know’more than his boss. Homo men may be born great, but
— yon can't pflovo It by their immediate
. . -I.... •- -* neighbors.
>«
Aji optimist Is a man who foods a
flock’ of hens all winter.
In prohibition states they carry their
lifo preservers around In a small bot-
A man goes Into wedlock with bis
oyes open, but n fow weeks of It may
cause them to opeu even wider.
■ Did He Accept?
Although a man may feel certain that
the world can get along without him,
he. bates to give it a chanco to try.
THF ANSWSR,
And’cheerfully say
That there la more to follow.
Talk],about life seeming hollow
YbVleo? like taking a rapid
Plunge Into the lake
If some way to shake
Cold weather does not appoar
In tho near
Future. You look at tho caso
(This way: Winter Is all right in Ms
place.
But Its place is<the winter time.
And you hold It a orlme :!{' , ■ »
To have oold weather butting’ In
Just .when you want to begin
To enjoy life, Enough Is enough
Of uiytMlng, and you oall It tough
Tliat just wh'en you .have given your
ordpr
For a full doweled, double book action
spring that old winter should got
the notion that It was a star sum*
' mer boarder.
Jt takes two to play at the game of
love, but three can make It much moro
Interesting.
A lawyer would not think of charg
ing for trying a case of champagne.
Overeating kills moro men than over
work, but the former Is the pleasanter
death.
Tho tempter came and whispered In
bis ear, “Here arc fame and money if
you will just depart ever so little from
the straight and narrow path.”
Of course the reader Is all worked
OP to know his reply, but without go
ing into details we may just remark
that he was human and draw the cur
tain to slow'musio.
A shallow man should take a tumble
to himself pnd dig.
Naturally most of the trusts are
formed at the seaboard, where the
supply of water Is unlimited.
. asSeWnA , ni .
The man beHInd the. shovel.
The man behind itho gun,
The man behind tbs counter
This blooming land may, run.
There’s nothing doing for tho gent
Who only Is behind In rent
Don’t klpk a man when he's going
downhill unless you ore certain that
ho has no gun.
When you cast your bread on the
waters, If It doesn’t return to you go
fishing.
Where He Belongs,
"What would’ you do with a man
who cant sing, but will keep at 1 It?”
“Send him to Sing Bing If I ctjuld
have my way.”
A Big Iittta,,':
Man wants but little hero below.
Well. I deny the charge;
Or, granting that It may be so,
He wafits that iltUe largo.
While It Is true that there la plenty
of room at tho top, the ground floor Is
good enough for most men.
'll' ,h*l. 1 T* ■ ' ■
It Is one thing for tho officers of the
law to smqah a trust and another thing
for the trust to find It out’
Poets naturally have It In for the
manufacturer* of wastebaskets.
Room For Improvement
Into a wollho slipped and fell
And cried while growing wetter:
“Don’t worry, friends! I'm feeling well.
But out I would feel better!”
Useful Knowledge,
“How is he getting along studying
iermnhr
“Famously,. Ha can say zwel beer
He a native. 1 *
Its One Drawback. .
“After all, is money worth striving
ft*?’’
“It might be if one could get a lot of
?t usd never have to wear a dress suit
to prove that ho had It.” -
These Is no patriotism In a mort
gage; l£ works full time on all legal
holidays.
Radical
Mary Is three hundredweight
eej>e on growing largo and gra
The man who can write passes never
lacks for friends.
Rural. Free Delivery
That you must have a
That is* approved by the Postmaster General
^et your mail on the R. F. Dm We have for
latest approved by the Postmaster
on the market;
General.
j. J. COOPER, Proprietor
mm