Newspaper Page Text
^be ptO0i'C88
Publsbed Every Thursday.
H D SMITH, Editor and Publisher
Entered at tbe Portu •» '/iiima
Qn„ at loco il-clM* Hi’' mm .or.
PERT PARAGRAPHS.
Perhaps the letter that never cnme (
was held up by a jealous stenographer. !
If you want to And out ail u >t
terming, ask the mno v o has n >• or \
termed.
It It «n Improvcn.ent ?
Tho hcathou In t-.ielr hll-dncBR
Bow down '.. stono, we’re told,
But when tholr eyes ate opened
Then they bow down to gold.
How Did He Know!
"A fool and his money aro soon
parted.”
?Dld you ever bnvo any money?”
Knew the Kind.
“Jenks over there Is a coming poet.”
“Glad you warned me. I will bo on
my guard against a touch."
PBRT PARAGRAPHS,
When hope plays tbe races It Is apt
to be a costly emotion.
An hour’s sleep before midnight Is
condudvo to normal conditions for both
head and purse In tho morning.
It Is a wise'baby that puts In its
spare moments trying to look Ulco its
father.
Love laughs at lock
smiths, but the diamond
denier has been known
to turn tho tables on the
little follow.
An old maid Is evi
dence of good Judgment
on her part and an old
bachelor of good Judg
ment on the part of all
women.
A little learning may bo a dangerous
thing, but It comes handy to hang n
bluff on.
A homely girl may bo a mine of Intel
lectual wealth, but she would better
employ a beauty doctor to help her pro
mote hor property.
Cement warranted to mend broken
tempers Is one of the things the wise
Kousowlfe will have 98 hand At h<?USQ-
tlenning tlmo,
The postman Is often a talebearer.
As between a pair of work roughened
bands and a pair of dimples, tho dim-
‘pies have tho best of it In a contest for
a husband.
The Circling Seasons.
Spring and mud aro hore again.
Bkloa aro blue and clear again.
Robins’ whistle cheer again.
Working overtime.
Slushy pools bespatter us.
Breezes bruise and batter us.
Molly beggar.! Hatter ue,
Reaching for a dime.
Canvassers coma boring ns.
Festive grip la flooring us.
' SunSliiiis is Irnorlng us
Nearly every day.
But the gentle spring again
Evidence can bring iignli)
Th:it It’s In the ring again,
So wo will be gay.
Don’t tyv at rioh quick; in
( fact, don’t try to get rich at all.
|Riches do not bring happiness,
uenallj the reverse. A competence
that mat eg him independent should
satisfy‘ any reasonable man; but
don’t worry lest you be unable to
leave each of your ohildren a fortune.
To inherit a fortune is a calamity to
any ohild. Give them a fair
education,'teach them to work,'help
to start them modestly, if you can,
and let them shift for themselves.
make him step around.
Don't Judge a mnn by h!s salary. He
may have a rich uncle.
A man always wants to be-a boy
again minus the sore toes.
Perhaps wo say time Is money be
cause both fly.
A faint heart often wins a fair lady
after she is thirty.
Misery loves company, but not bad
enough to look for It in the poor-
house.
Do not Judge a man by his clothes.
They may bo only rented.
Tou cannot blame the man who
wrote ’’Bedello." Ho may bavo need
ed the money.
Tou may say In general that airmen
aro liars, but don’t be specific If your
features are special pets.
A mad dog nev
er stops to count
100 before biting
some one.
It would not be
fair to base a
man’s gonoral
reputation for
troth and verac
ity on what he
tells tho assessor.
Never look to
mo If a gift mule
needs shoeing.
An erratic keyhole can cause a sub
stantial citizen great confusion after
the midnight hour.
Came as a Comforter.
The strong than bowed his head and
stood on his doorstep, the picture of
misery.
Ills doorstep dow, but how long
would he be able to call it his own?
Ho Was expecting an nblobodted
mortgage to dror. In most any moment
and tell him to lilt.
The gate latch clicked; the sound of
footsteps fell lieuvlly on his ears. ITe
did not look up. Was It the sheriff
como to do Ills worst?
But suddenly a voice rung out, "Hel
lo, dad!"
It was his only son who had run
away from home years ago and now
came back wearing good clothes and
an air of prosperity. He would save
the old home. Tbe father clasped the
boy to hts heart Briefly he explained
the predloamont.
“How much do yon owe, dad?” ask
ed the boy, feeling In his pockets.
“A thousand dollars,” solemnly re
plied tho father.
“Is that all?" asked the youth, bring
ing out from his pocket a plug of to
bacco and offering the old man a chew.
‘‘Well, cheer up," he added. "I owe
$500,000, and the only thing that Is
bothering me is that I can’t find a
place to owo some more."
SEASHORE EXCURSION.
The first Seashore excursion of
the s eason will be ruu ou Monday,
May 0th, to Brunswick, St. Simons
and Cumoeriann via the Atlantic &
Birmingham Railway.
A special train of first class
coachesWjTi leave Vienna at V. 61
A. M. and will arrive at Brunswick
at 5;00 P.M.
The round trip fare from Vienna
to Brunswick for this train will be
?2’50. Tickets will be good return
ing on any regular train either
Tuesday or Wednesday, May 10th
and lltV.
Separate coaches will be provided
for white and colored passengers.
There is no time more delightful
at the Seashore than the month of
May.
Spoils the Pleasure.
I like to haunt the smoking ear.
And revel In a good cigar.
But, I confess, I'm freo to say
That car's a placa of blasted hopes
When some one lights one of the ropes Georgia since 1888
Tho politicians give away.
TO TEAOPERS.
A Key to Examinations. It con
tains tho (Questions and Answers of
overy Public School Examination in
Sixteen years
work. We will send it postprid, on
receipt of One Dollar. Deoriptive
asked circulars free. B. S. HOLDEN
The Character Witness.
"Were you ever In prison?”
the lawyer of the witness who was ^ _ , ..
trying to prove that he had led* a C as i> or Gilmer County Bank, KLLI-
blnmeless life. J A V, Ga.
"No, sir,” replied the witness in-
"Ask him If he has ever been in con- THE McNEEL Marble Co., Co
gross,” whispered tho man who was del*, Ga.,'foi iprices and designs or
coaching the attorney, In a tone loud Monumental work.
enough to he heard by the Jury.
18,000 MILES FOR $26.
- 1 <
The Atlantic & Birmingham rail
way ha? placed on-sale at. its princi
pal Tioket Offices 1,0 .0 Milo Tickets
at rate $26. J, good over the fo"oiF-
ng Pnes:
A tlaiiK & -ining. urn Air Lire R-. $
Atlanta, Ki -xville & Northern U; ’
A.Jantn A .isi IV't.i V. R;
Atlantic & P rminghem Ry.
Atlantic ( islLineR R.
Charleston A ■Western ( ttrolirn
Georgia Railroad:,
Louisville A Nmhvlll- 1<. B, -
Nashville, ( hattanoop* A St. Lr" Ry,
Richmond, hriderlekiburg A Potcm • R R
Seaboard t ijf. T ire R \.
Waghbigt® ■ s 'Ou l < it, I v.
Western A 4 ''antic li.
I ‘W esteT* Railway of AVran,a.-
These Lines comprise 18,000
Miles of Railroads.
This tioket presents 4 ’.e oheapest
and most convenient form oftravdC.
„ H O. MoFADDKN,
General Passenger Agent.
TO PLANTERS, ON : HE LINE
Atlantic & Birmingham Railway.
To encourage the growing of wa
ter melons in termor- tributary to
the Atlantic and Birmingham Rail-
way, I hereby offer the following
prizes for the three largest melons
grown in such territorv:
Largest water melon $15,00
| |Second largest water melon 10.00
Third largest water melon 6.0C
CONDITIONS.
Prizes will bo paid to the grower
only. , ,
Not more than one prize will be
paid to any one grower,
Contestants must have under cul
tivation five acres or more of mel
ons.
Weights will be used to compute-
sizes.
Melons entered in contess must,
be forwarded through agents to th
office, properly Iabled.
H. C. MoFADDEN,
it you are on a
Rural Free Delivery
Mail Route
UNCLE SAM SAYS
That you must have a
That is approved
get your mail on
by "the Postmaster General. If you
the R. F. D., We have for sale one of
on the,|Jmarket; latest approved by the Postmaste
General. fTO in» li j Hj
J. J. COOPER, Proprietor