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THE WEEKLY STANDARD & EXPRESS. OLD SERIES, NO. 575. J By SMITH, WIKLE & CO.] PUBLISHED EVER Y WED -ESDAY. RATES OF ADVERTISING. | Number of Squares. j <Jne Week. I Two Weeks. | three Weeks, j Four Weeks. I Three Months. I Six Months. \ Twelve Months. i I }l $ 2v * 8u 4Sr * Sri* s«r 1! «o I j* « q 300 l 4 r it! 5 675i 14 00/ 10 ooj 24 00 ,! oI)l r,« 7 {) J B ao 17 00l 20 00 30 00 ; , ;®| u, J gol 19 <W 23 00 36 00 r it (mJ k A lii j',-, n502050 26 00 42 00 " z ir\ , is oo 22 oo 29 00 47 00 ' ” £ f:! 275 14 50 23 50 32 (X) 52 00 * ' r , 1 ’ j, 3 'J id 01) 24 50 35 00 68 00 •{ 1m!12 25 15 S5 25 50 37 00 04 (X) 8 w 12 72 as 00 18 50 27 00 39 00 70 00 ]■’/ y (Mil 13 25 10 50 19 25 29 00 41 00 75 00 i; 9 501 14 25 10 75 20 00 31 00 43 00 80 00 11 10 001 14 75 17 00 20 50 32 50 45 00 85 (K) Ij l 10 50j 15 25 17 25 21 00 34 00 47 00 05 00 1«. : 11 ooj 15 75 17 50 21 50 35 50 49 00 95 00 17; !1 50 10 25 17 75 21 75 37 00 51 00 100 00 is 12 OOj 10 75 18 00 22 00 38 00 53 0O 105 00 jy 15 60 17 00 18 25 22 25 39 00 55 Os) 110 00 in 1 13 001 17 25 18 50 22 50 40 00 67 00 115 00 ■>l 13 50 17 50 18 57 22 75 41 00 59 00 120 00 r 14 oo 17 75 19 (X) 23 00 42 OO 01 00 125 00 23 l( 50 18 O) JO 50 23 50 43 00 03 00 130 00 2 4, 15 00| 18 25 20 00 24 00 44 00 65 00 135 00 A THKIhUNO SITUATION. The Detroit Free Press of the 29th ult., describes au adventure by a German named Henry Osster, of Nankin township, who was hunting a missing cow, and got mired in a piece of marshy ground. The narrative continues: To his right about ten feet away, was a knoll of solid ground, on which grew a thoruapple tree, one of the limbs extending almost over the man’s head, and about four feet be yond the reach of his arms. Think ing that if he could get possession of his gun he might secure the limb, Osster took off liis suspenders, tied them together and made a noose on one end, and after careful and tedi ous work lassoed the rifle and drag ged it to him. This was after ho had been in the mire nearly two hours, and quite a while after dark. He was induced to believe that he had not sunk any for the last half hour, but the extra weight of the gun as he held it up, sunk him nearly to his hips in a moment, and he quickly laid it down. Little tufts of grass, growing up from spots of solid ground not much larger than his hand, were all around the man, but the moment he took hold of one of them it would pull away, having no real support. Uss ter had a pipe with him, and he got this from his coat and twisted off the German silver ring around the stem. The ring lie broke between his teeth, bent it up like a hook, and then fas tened it to his suspenders, determin ed to make an effort to reach the limb. Time after time he made the throw, but the hook failed to catch, or slipped off, or bent out straight, and at ten o’clock at night the vic tim was up to his hips and slowly settling. Placing his coat and vest on either side, lie pushed them down with his hands, aud in this way kept his body from settling as fast as it otherwise would. lie ceased trying to shout, knowing that ho could not expect help before another day. As Osster did not return at dark, Starks feared that he might have shot himself or met with some other acci dent, and walked a mile or so in the direction from which the man was ex pected, and stopped within half a mile from where he was sinking down to death. Returning home, he agreed to make a further search in the mor ning, and when the time came got a neighbor to go with him. They took a direction quite distant from where Osster was to be found, and, to be brief, searched the woods until nearly noon, and then determined to go to the hamlet aud see if Osster had been there. In coming out of the woods they passed within forty rods of Osster, and were nearly half a mile away when one of them fired a shot at a squirrel on the fence. All night long Osster had bsen slowly sinking, and when the sun marked noon he was up to his shoulders in the mire. Hearing the shot, he put forth all his vocal strength into one grand shout followed by another, and his voice was heard and recog nized. Even after his friends got within a few feet of him he had to shout to guide them, as his head was below the grass. It is needless to say that they instantly set about the work of rescuing him. Logs and brush were piled into the swamp un til they could reach him. Finding that they could not pull him out by the arms, the mire was scooped away from his body, and he was literally pried out by a lever inserted under his feet THE PENNSYLVANIA RAILROAD COM PANY’S OPERATIONS IN THE SOUTH. Probably no corporation ever or ganized has succeeded in accomplish ing greater results more quietly and with so little popular excitement as the Pennsylvania Railroad Compa ny. Its leases and purchases are so numerous and succeed each other so rapidly that the full scope and intent of particular transactions are scarcely comprehended by the public, before some further combination or pur chase is announced involving still vaster issues. In addition to the conquests al ready announced, it is rumored that the great railroad company has re vived to own or control a direct route to Memphis, and that the recent remarkable fluctations in the stock of the Memphis and Charleston Rail road were due to pending negotia tions of the Pennsylvania company for the purchase of that line. The j Memphis and Louisville Railroad is : also stated to be among the more re- j cent acquisitions of the omnivorous Pennsylvania company. Whatever may be the facts in connection with these particular transactions, there seems to be very little doubt that the Pennsylvania company is steadily reaching forward to Southern con nections. It may also be stated that both the people and the railroad man agers of that section exhibit as much willingness to be swallowed up as has been manifested by the Northern lines. — JST. Y. Bulletin. The last cup of the frolic is gen erally the kic-cup. POLITICAL SPECULATIONS ON THE FUTURE CAREER OF THE DEMOC RACY. A Conference of Leader* Probable—Con servative Support of Moderate Republi can* for the Presidency—General Am nesty and Civil Service Reform, &c. Washington, Nov. 10, 1871. There has been since the elections of Tuesday last a large amount of talk in political circles here over the probabilities of the Democratic par ty declining to take part in the next Presidential campaign, but to give its support to some anti-Grant °Re publican who may be nominated by that faction in the Republican organ ization opposed to having General Grant for a second term. All such speculations will be certain to bejdissi pated before the meeting of the next Congress, inasmuch as it appears that those who encourage, or would encourage, a theory of that character act entirely without knowing the views of the leading statesmen of the party. There are indications—very posi tive ones—that spring from move ments which have had some engineer ing in this city, that the Democratic party will give its endorsement through a convention of its own to the nomination of a Conservative, anti-prospective Republican, but at the same time there will be a firm declaration of principles, and gentle men who have had much experience in political matters have earnestly discussed the propriety of the Demo cratic Convention nominating some one who can draw heavy support from the Republican ranks. There will be conferences of leading Demo cratic statesmen upon this topic when the proper period arrives. In the mean time there will, of course, be informal discussions upon it without limit. Much for the future career of the Democratic party must be decided during the session of Congress. This will be the first session in many years in which any opportunity will be given for action upon matters con nected with the material prosperity of the country. It remains to be seen how far Congress will relent in the proscriptiveness that at present holds sway in several States, and what efforts will be made regarding civil service reform. General Amnesty will be agitated, and many think advised by the Ex ecutive in the annual message. With reference to its adoptive tendencies of present force, there exists favora ble opinions among those who hope for such a consummation. A few weeks from now will show the dom inant powers in these respects. There is no end to the talk about reforming the civil service system, but the probabilities are that for the present it will consist in “ talk” alone. The measure has its advo cates in prominent places, including both House of Congress; there is even a prevalent notion that the Ad ministration favors it, and will strong ly recommend the adoption of some measure to reform the present loose civil service regulations, but the gen eral verdict seems to be that all recommendations will be futile. The politicians who control the appoint ments at the present day will not re linquish their grasp without a strug gle. It is a weapon of offense and defense that the average carpet-bag ger will never consent to relinquish, aud in that decision he will be sus tained by at least two-thirds of the influential Radical members of Con gress from the Northern States.— Jiichmond Dispatch . A MAN GOES CRAZY FROM FIGHTING FIRE. Last week a wealthy fa.iiner in Madison township named Jacob Pittston become deranged from figting a fire in the woods in his vi cinity, and, as liis insanity took a dan gerous turn, it was thought best to confine him in jail. He is a large, powerful built man, forty years old, and weighing nearly two hundred pounds, and it took the combined strength of a dozen men to secure him, lie fighting them as only a mad man can fight. When overpowered he was lashed to a twelve foot plank and brought to the jail. He was fas tened to the plank some twelve hours. As soon as he was turned loose in a cell he broke the iron bed stead in pieces as if it had been made of wood, tore up the bed clothing and his own, and it was not only useless but impossible to make ef forts to subdue him. On Saturday night, however, the stench in the cell became unbearable, and Sheriff Glo ver decided that it must be cleaned. Speaking to two of the prisoners to aid, he unlocked the cell door. Pitts ton, perfectly nude, and armed with an iron bar—a portion of the bed stead—was walking a circle about the cell. Waiting until his back was turned the Sheriff quickly opened the door and sprang for the crazy man’s neck closed his arms around it. The prisoners as quickly followed, and after a terrific struggle Pittston was conquered and bound until his cell was cleaned, when he was again loosened. Yesterday Sheriff Glover started with him for the insane asy lum at Indianapolis. SINGULAR SUICIDE. A telegraphic dispatch, dated Leu iston, Me., 3d inst.. narrates a singu lar suicide, as follows: Great excitement prevailed in this city to-day over a remarkable case of suicide, by which two young girls perished. About one o’clock, Ada Brown, of Buckfield, and Anna Wood, of Hartford, were seen stroll ing along the. banks of the Andro scoggin, toward the falls. They were engaged in earnest conversation, and there was nothing unusual in their appearance to attract observa tion. On arriving at the falls they divested themselves of their outer clothing and deposited it careiully upon the rocks. After a few mo merits passed in deep meditation they clasped their arms around each other and sprang into the deepest channel of the river. Not a cry escaped them as they took the fatal leap, but with faces turned heavenward the unfor tunates plunged into the boiling flood. No cause can be assigned for the rash act. J.IIE B AMII/Y NEWSPAPER DEVOTED TO SCIENCE, ART, LITERATURE, EDUCATION, AGRICULTURE, POLITICAL AND GENERAL NEWS. CARTERSVILLE, GEORGIA, THURSDAY MORNING, NOVEMBER *23, 1871. THE KU-KLUX committee. 1 his committee adjourned j’ester day. It closed its labors in this section. It examined over a hun dred witnesses. It sat with closed doors. It held a sort of inquisition, to get testimony against the South, in which the ODly representatives of fair play were the Democratic mem bers, Senator Bayard and Mr. Yoor liees. But for the vigilance of the latter gentlemen no rebutting evi dence could have gotten in. The search for Radical testimony has been keen. Horace Maynard and liis associates have exhausted every effort to fortify the slanders against our people. Could the proceedings have been made public and the names of the witnesses and their testimony given out,, the good people would then have had a chance to refute the calumnies against them. But this would not have served the purpose. So the tribunal kept out the public and con lined the examination, as far as pos sible, to the prosecution. We trust this fact will go with the evidence. Every disorder of the last four years has been raked up, and in some cases the same outrage has done du ty many times in different shapes. Negroes have been the choice wit nesses, and “ colored troops have fought nobly.” They have sworn magnificently. The pay and mileage paid them has brought quantities in, with stuff ample for any demand. An immense amount of evidence in utter rebuttal of the slanders has come out too. Many tales have been so clumsily told that sharp cross questioning has shown up their fal sity. One batch of dirty negro girls swore to one of their number being ueaten so as to be bedridden for four weeks. The cross-examination brought out that in four days the beaten woman walked fifteen miles to a frolic. And the same party of perjured wenches were seen counting their pay of $35 or S4O each, and chuckling and giggling over their gains, and vowing to send others up to lie for hire. This is as sickening as true. It affords an eloquent com mentary upon this secret inquisition for proof to bolster up slander. No proof was obtained of a gener al Ku-Klux organization. The only thing of the kind, a local affair, was shown to have in its membership two Radical revenue assessors. The body of the outrages were indisputably shown to be connected with illicit distillation and utterly outside of politics. In the mountain counties, where illegal distilling is carried on, the most of the violence occurs, and was proven to be done to protect the distillers and their confederates. The revelations of negro crime have been very sickening. The bit terest witnesses have been such ne groes as Turner, and such white Radicals as Senator Brock. One ex-Federal officer named Ly ons, a Republican and a large rail road contractor, gave some fine evi dence to the good order of the State. Ex-Governor Brown, Ben Hill and Linton Stephens were summoned be fore the committee, and testified strongl}' for the people. But the trouble is that the evi dence of one perjured scamp goes farther than that of fifteen truthful witnesses. The object is to get proof to calumny for political effect. That is suborned and the damage is done. The pretext is furnished.— Atlanta Constitution. WHAT WILL BE THE RESULT. An area such as that through which the fire has swept is not less than 30,000 miles in extent Sup posing that there are one hundred cords of wood to the acre—an aver age probably far below the truth —it would take to consume these, if the forests were all pine—if not all pine it would take m0re—11,468,160,000,- 000 pounds of oxygen. And this in conceivable amount has, it must be remembered, been taken from the air by the fire in the forests of Min nesota, and toward the northwest amd south. Add to this what has been used up on the frontiers and in the Canadian and other fires, and the total will be found sufficient to alter the condition of life not only in the West, but all over the continent, and perhaps the world. An old lady and her daughter were attacked by a bull while cross ing a field on their way to church last Sunday, Rock castle county, Kentucky. The bull first knocked the mother down and gored her to death, and then made chase for the daughter, whom he caught just at the fence and tossed over to the oth er side, breaking one of her arms, one of her legs, and dislocating a shoulder. On learning of the oc curence the neighbors attacked the bull with fiiearms and soon made beef of him. How to Acquire a Good Memorj*. As a general thing, we read too much, and think about what we read too little, the consequence is, that most of the people we meet know something, in a superficial way about everything, and a very little in a thorough way about anything. Not a f enth part of what is read is remembered for a month after the book, magazine or newspaper is laid aside. Daniel Webster, who had a rich store of information on almost every subject of general interest, on being asked how it was that he could remember so accurately, replied that it had been his habit for years to re flect for a short time on what he read a,nd to fix all the facts and ideas worth remembering in his mind. Any one who does this will be surprised how retentive his memory will be come, and how long after reading a book, or interesting article, the best portions thereof will remain. Dean Swift said: “It is with narrow souled people as it with nar row necked bottles—the less they have in them, the more noise they make in pouring it out. THE COUNTRY PRESS OF GEORGIA* The Savannah News pays some merited compltments to the Country Press of Georgia, which we heartily endorse. It says our Georgia rural press is far ahead of that of any oth er Southern State, save Kentucky, and on a par with that of any North ern State. We go farther and say that we doubt if the Country Press of any Northern State can equal ours. Our cotemporary hopes to see the day when the Country Press shall be a respected and recognized power in the land. It is so tc-daj^. The following statement is a great truth.— Constitution. Conspicuous among the improve ments made in the country weeklies and one that has enhanced their val ue and prosperity, and materially en larged their sphere of usefulness both at home and abroad, is the attention given to their local departments. A large majority of them are persistent and intelligent chroniclers of items of interest in their own section—the result of which is, that they are pop ular and prosperous to a degree nev er before known in their history.— Marietta Journal. No Dead-Heads. —Some railroad conductor, who has lately been elec ted a deacon in a New England church, astonished the congregation the first Sabbath, when it became his duty to assist in taking a collection, by presenting the plate with his ha bitual ejaculation, “ Tickets, gentle men !” This was not absence of mind, but rare presence of mind. In a well-conducted church, no dead heads have a place. A few days ago a boy in Wilming ton, North Carolina, sent a letter to the Emperor Napoleon, telling him that he was a boy of eleven years, but that, with the heart of a man, he sympathized with him in the heavy misfortunes that had fallen upon him. A few days since, to the astonishment of every one, an auto graph letter was received from the Emperor in reply. It thanked him for the kindly and generous sympa thy that had been bestowed, and hoped that the lot in life of his lit tle friend would fall in more peace ful times than had fallen to the share of the Emperor of the French. A countryman, who visited Green ville, Tenn., had his attention at tracted by the glittering sign of the Andes Insurance Company. He looked at it long aud intently, and then broke out in a joyful exclama tion. “Well, I knew old Andy would be at somethin’ afore long; I tell yer, they can’t keep him down ; no, they can’t,” and walked on. JOSH BILLINGS COUNTER FEITED. BY SIMON SIMPKINS. Sum peeple seam tube stuck up because they think we ar so. We all ought to meet, compromise and be friendly. The ginerality of the world in gin eral, estimates every man at hiz troo value; an sum men ar a good deal abov par, for a period more or les short. Don’t tel yore trubbles to other peeple, nor bore them with your private affairs, for every 1 iz for hiz self. If every man boo haz dun rong were to be stoned, rox would fall like hale, but hoo wood do the throw ing ? Wise Sayings. Few accidents are so unhappy but may be mended by prudence: few so happy but may be ruined by im prudence. Men make themselves ridiculous, not so much by the qualities they have, as by the affectation of those they have not. To say little and perform much, is the characteristic of a great mind. He that does good for good’s sake, seeks neither praise nor re ward, though sure of both at last. Force may be subdued, but lore gains; and he that forgives first, wins the laurel. A man that gives his children a habit of industry, provides for them better than by giving them a stock of money. To be a man’s own fool is bad enough, but the vain man is every - body’s. The covetous, the angry, tke proud, the jealous, the talkatives, cannot but make ill friends, as well as false. Choose a friend as thou dost a wife, till death seprate you. The Coming Comet. —Enck’s great comet, is now on its way towards the perihellion, which it will reach in January next. It is officially stated that the cost of the Cuban war for the past year was $2,000,000. At the latest advices the sub scriptions throughout the world for the sufferers by the Chicago fire, amounted to nearly five millions of dollars. Chicago received $l5O in Confed erate money from a Richmond phit lantropist. The second section of twenty miles of the Sou* hern Pacific Rail way has been finished and accept ed. The Tribune announces the resig nation of the Secretary of State, Mr. Fish. It is said that the improved lands in South Carolina are worth $20,- 000,000, while the fences that inclose them have actually cost $16,000,000. GENERAL JOE JOHNSTON. The Southern Home, speaking of this distinguished General, says: We have always been disposed to place General Johnston in the front rank of the greats t commanders of history. His great intellect and personal cour age won the admiration of his sol diers, Avhile his warm, genial nature secured their love. The veterans of Napoleon did not idolize their Em peror more than did our ragged sol diers the lion-hearted Jolmston. No one now doubts that his policy of disregarding positions and never suf fering an army to be cooped up would have saved the Confederacy. The Franco-Prussian war is an elo quent tribute to Joe* Johnston—Se dan and Strausbnrg were but repe titionsfof the folly of Vicksburg, Port Hudson and Richmond. The star of the South set iff]gloom aud disaster when Johnston was removed at At lanta. Sherman exulted at the act, and cried out, like Napoleon at Aus terlitz, “ Now I have them !” The baffled General knew that his time had come, and clapping his hands he said, “ I have fought hitherto when Johnston pleased; *now I'll make Hood|fight whenJl please.” In speaking of the burning of Chicago the Southern Christian Aadvocate says. How thankful should the sufferers be, that it was no worse, that it was not in the dead of winter, that there were no brutal soldiers standing by to snatch the remnants of their cloth ing and food out of the hands of flee ing women and children and throw them back into the flames, or to help on the work of destruction by scatter ing fire brands, or to aggravate the horrors of the fire by profane and ribald jests and mocking insults. These thigs have been—and, perhaps some of these very persons now in volved in this great ruin, have seen them perpetrated in the South, not long since. If any of them witnes sed such barbarities without sym pathy for the sufferers, they will nev er do it again. The fire must have burned into their hearts anew lesson of humility if any of them needed to learn it. And it should be a lesson to us never to aggravate the suffer ings of others out of revenge or from sheer cruelty, to always protect the weak and helpless, and to do what we can to avert from them ev ery calamity. It will be well for individuals and nations to learn this lesson lest they should soon need the sympathy and said, they have denied to others. A young man from Kentucky who under took to open a country store in the mountains of East Ten nessee, came to speedy ruin because, ho was “too nippy ” for that region. He wore a stovepipe hat, had his boots blacked each day, and mounted a fresh paper collar every morning all of which served to disgust the natives who said he put on too much Kentucky blue grass style for them. But still he was endured until the women learned that he had his shirt made to button up behind, that they could not and would cot stand, and when the fair sex turned against him all further struggles against fact be came useless. The young man] stock in trade was disposed of by the sheriff. Lo! The Poor Indian* San Francisco, November 10-The United Sates grand jury of Tucsont, Arizona, make formal charges agains managers of Indian reservations in the Territory, showing that the Apaches were allowed to leave and go on the war path at will and spe cifying numerous murders committed by the Indians. They are supplied with arms and ammunition, and their women prostituted by the offic ers in charge. An enthusiastic Yale student gaz ed long earnestly though a telescope at the movemeheffs of Saturn, and afterwards discovred that he had been watching the reced ing head light of the New York steamboat. A grown up lowan let his eight eight year-old father flog him the other day, for fun. The handsome mansion of the late Dr. J. C. Ready, eleven niles from Edgefield, has been burned. A nurse of Jame3 Brewer, of Grantville, in a fit of anger fired a gun and instantly killed his child, aged three years. The girl was arrested, and while on the way to jail was shot by unknown parties. On Wednesday night Mr. Albert Turner, of Grantville, was shot and mortally wouded by un known parties —Edgefield Adver tiser. Brother Brigham on his Trayls. A Salt Lake dispateh of the sth, says a well known Mormon writes from Beaver, October 31, that, “Bro ther Brigham arrived here this mor ning and after resting five hours, left for St. George, on the southern border of the Territory. He was escorted by twelve mounted men of the Nauvoo Legion. ‘I am told, ‘says the writer, ‘that lie has j aid a final adieu to Salt Lake City. The movement of Brother Brigham is greatly agitating the minds of the people hereabouts. ” The latest additions to the list of candidates for Governor are Col. T. W.. Alexaneer, of Rome; Hon. Hi ram Warner, and Hon. David Irwin, of Cobb—the latter of whom is warmly urged by the Munrot Advertiser. A young married man wa3 remark ing to some ladies that it was al ways the women who ran after the men, when his wife indignantly said, “You know, my dear, I nevr ran after You” “That may be,” he re plied, “but you took mighty good care no to get out of the way. Cover a fool with gold and he will pass current. 808 TEX. THE DEAD LETTER. BT JOHN O. SAXE. Andean .it J Ab, ye* i see, •Tis thirty years and better Siaec Mary.Mo?£*n sent to ate This musty, musky letter. A pretty hand (She wouldn’t spell,} As any man mu-t vote it: And ’tu as, as l remember well, A pretty bad that wrote it! How calmly now I view it all,t e . , As memory bai-kvartlTstugcs*— The talks, the walks, timt I recall, And then—the postal changes ! Nov well 1 loued her I can guess (Since cash in Cupid’s hostage) Just one-and sixpence—uotkiug less— This letter cost in postage ! The love that wrote at such a rate (15y Jove ! it was a steep one !) Five hundred notes (1 calculate) Was certainly a deep one ; And yet it died"—of slow decline— Perhaps suspicion chilled it' I’ve quite forgotten if ’twas mine . Or Alary’s flirting killed it ! At last the fatal message came ; ‘ My letters—please rotutn them ; And yours—of course you wish the same — I’ll send them back or burn them.’ Two precious fools, 1 must allow, Whichever was tho greater ; I wonder if I’m wiser now. Some seven lusters later ! And this alone remains C Ah, well, These words of warm affection, The faded ink, the pungent smell, Are -food of deep collection. They tell of how the heart contrives To change witp fancy's fashion, And how a drop of musk survives Tho strongest human passion ! - ~llxirper'» Magaeina. IT NEVER PAYS. It never pays to fret and growl W lieu loliune seems our foe : The better ored will push ahead And strike the braver blow. For luck is work, And those who shirk Should not lament their doom ; Hut yield the play, Ami cheer tho way, That better men have room. It never pays to foster pride. And squander wealth in show ; For friends thus won aro sure to run In times of want or woe! The noblest worth Os all the earth Are gems of heart and biain— A conscience clear, A household dear, And hands without a stain. It never pays to hate a toe, Or cater to a friend ; To fawn and whine, much less repine, To borrow or to lend. The faults of men Are fewer when Each rows hjs own canoe ; For feuds and debts And pampered pets Unbounded mischief brew. It never pays to wreck the health In drudging after gain : And he is sold who think that gold Is cheaply bought with paiu. An humble lot, A cosy cot, Have tempted even kings, For stations high That wealth will buy, Naught of contentment brings. It never pays ! A blunt refrain, Well worthy of a song ; For age aud youth must learn this truth That nothing pays that’s wrong. The good and pure Alone are sure To bring prolonged success ! While what is right In heaven’s sight Is always sure to bless. A CURIOUS MATRIMONIAL QUESTION. The San Jose (Cal.) Mercury con tains this singular story : A remarkable case, either of mis taken identity and fraud, or wi.ful or constrained perverseness, recent ly occui ed, and still exists, in this country, which is deserving of some thing more than a passing notice. There resides with his moth r iu Santa Clara, Charles W. Sikes, a young man of good reputation, worthy and honest, but of humble circumstances in life. There also resides in the same town, with her parents, Miss Hattie Burnett, a granddaughter of Governor Burnett, an estimable young lady of eighteen, of fine accomplishments and unsul lied character. These j r oung peo ple, it is asserted, formed an attach ment for each other, against the wishes of the girl’s parents, who sought by various means to break up the intimacy between them. Young Sikes was positively forbidden to see or speak to the girl. But every body knows who has arrived at ma turity, what such forbiddings amount to. Os course, he met her clandes tinely—at least it is so positively stated by those who casually sur prised them in their stolen inter views. This state of affairs existed for several months, until the 4th of September last, when Mr. Sikes, ac companied by a young lady who gave her name as Hattie Burnett, called at the law office of C. C. Ste phens of this city—an acquaintance of both parties—and stated as their object iu calling the intention of be ing united in marriage. The lady remained in conversation with Mr. Stephens—who by the way, asserts that he has known Miss Burnett from infancy, and could not be de ceived in her identity—while Sikes went to the Clerk’s office for a li cense. He soon returned with this needed instrument, Justice Stewart was called in, and the parties were duly married. They returned to Santa Clara, remained throughout the day at the young man’s home, and then the lady went to her own home. Now comes in the mystery, romance, or what you may call it if the whole affair. The fact of the marriage leaked out—for Sikes made no secret of it—and soon reached the ears of the girl’s parents. They asked her if it was true. She said no, and seemed greatly surprised at the intimation. Sikes claimed that she was his wife ; and the girl was brought to confront him in the pres ence of Mr. Stephens. Here she denied everything relating to the alleged marriage—had only known Sikes as a passing acquaintance— never intended to marry kina.—the whole thing was a fraud—some wo man bearing a resemblance to her had been procured to personate her, etc. And in this she firmly persists at the present time. The parents believe the girl—the public, mostly, sympathize with Sikes. Some think her fears have been wrought upon until she dare not own the truth. Others don’t know what to think. It is certainly a queer case. The parents and all parties are most worthy people.” A Boton business man remarks of a native poet: “lie is one of those men who have soarings after the infinite and divings after the unfathomable, but who nev er pays cash.” MORAL AND RELIGIOUS. HAPPY EVERY DAY. Sidney Smith cut the following from a newspaper and preserved it for hinxfelf; “ When you rise in the morning, form a resolution to make the day a happy one to a fellow creature. It is easy done; a left off garment to the man who needs it; a kind word to tho sorrowful; an encouraging ex pression to the striving—trifles in themselves light as air—will do it, at lea9t for twenty four hours. And if you are young depend upon it, it will tell you when you are old ; if you are old, rest assured it will send you gently aud happily down the stream of time into eternity. Bj r the simplest mathematical sum, look at the result; if you make one person —only one—happy through the day, that is three hundred and sixty-five in the course of the year. And sup posing you live forty years only af ter you commence that course of conduct, you have made 15,000 be ing happy—at all events for a time.” THE SENSE OF GUILT. The atheist may speculate, and «-o on speculating 111 he is brought up by annihilation; lie may then* return to life, and reason away tho differ ence between good and evil; he may even go further, and still he may eat his bread with relish, and sleep soundly in his bed ;' for his sins, wanting, as it were, substance, hav ing no actual solidity to leave their traces in his memory, all future retri bution may seem to him a thing with which, in any case, he can have no concern. But let him once turn his theory to practice, let him make crime palpable, in an instant he feels its hot impress on his soul. Then .it is that what may happen beyond the grave becomes no matter of indiffer ence ; and, though his reason may seem to have proved that death is a final end, then comes the question, What does his reason know of death ? Then, last of all, the little word if. swelling to a fearful size, and stand ing at the outlet of his theories, like a relentless giant, ready to demolish his conclusions— Allston. GLORIOUS SCENES. Glorious was the scene when Enoch was translated; or when Elijah's charriot of fire and horses of fire ap peared in the whirlwind and took him to his glory ; yet more glorious was the scene when surrounded bj' disciples, the risen Saviour slowly and majestically ascended with his own power and glory, before them, while blessing them, and a cloud re ceived him out of their sight. How unspeakably glorious, then, will be the full resurrection and ascension when crowding from every country, in glorious resurrection bodies shi ning as the sun, at one and at the same moment the myriads and myr iads of his saints, of every age, are all gathered into his presence, where is fullness of joy, and are ever with the Lord. THE ANTITHESIS OF HUMAN NATURE. Every man is different at different times, according to the influences operating upon him. We have nev er yet formed the acquaintance of a man who did not, in some way, dis appoint our expectation. We find the great are less than we expected, and that the small have more wisdom than they get credit so”. The good are worse than supposed, and the bad are better. Generally, wo find great virtues and great failings in some way combined, and that few men, if any, are what they appear to be. It ,is not uncommon to find the philosopher and the fool in the same individual, while genius that soars to the clouds sinks and trails in mud and filth after the flight. Tiie Dying Never Weep. —lt is a striking fact that the dying never weep. The sobbing, the heart breaking agony of the circle of friends around the death bed, call forth no responsive tears from the dying. Is it because lie is infeasible and stiff in the chin of dissolution ? That Gahnot be, for he asks for his father’s hand, as if to gain strength for the mortal struggle, and leans on the breast of lug mother, sister or brother, in still conscious affection. Just before expiring he calls the lov.ed ones around him, and with quivering lips, says, “Kiss me!” showing that the love he has ever borne iu his heart, is still fresh and warm. It must be because the dy ing have reached too deep for earth ly sorrows, too transcendant for weeping. They are face to face'with higher and holier things with the Father in Heaven and His angels. There is no weeping in that blessed abode to which he is hastening. Here is the pilhiest sermon ever preached: “ Our ingress in life is naked and bare; our progress through life is trouble and care ; our egress out of it we know not where", but, doing well here, we shall do well there.” A Serious Thought- —Suppose there was a book, in which the whole of your life was recorded, each page of which contained events of a day ; and at the beginning was writ ten, “ This is the life of a rational, immortal, accountable creature, plac ed in this world to prepare for eter nity !” Oh* what an amount of guilt would the record of each day present!— Dr. Payson. The moot foolish thing in the world is said to be “to bow to the rich until 3 T ou are unable to stand in the presence of an honest man.” • A friend should be one in whose understanding and virtue we can generally confide, and whose opin ion we can value at once for its just ness and sincerity. It is a glorious thing to resist temptations, but is a safe thing to avoid them: ° [NEW SERIES, VOL I-NO. 3 WIT AND HUM 08, ADVISE TO YOUNG REN. In his “ Farmer’s Almanax,” for 18*2, Josh Billings gives the follow ing : ADVISE TEW YOUNG MEN. Don’t be diskouraged if yure mut task don’t gro; it sumtimes hap pens wiiare a mustash duz ‘he best, nothing else duz so well. Don’t be afrade ov ennything that is honorable, and don’t f. rget that j the best friend that God haz given enny one iz kiz conscience. Larn tew wait ?—this iz a hard gait for a young man tew travel, but iz the surest way tew git thare. If you hav got sum wild oats (and a phew won’t spile yu) git them in arly, and sow them deep, so they will not rot iu the ground. ADVISE TEW UOSS JOCKEYS. Never swop bosses with a dtakon —-notifyu belong tew the same church he duz. If 3 r u have got a boss that you ask 200 dollars for, and are offered 75 dollars for him, ahvussell him ; dou’t spile a good Loss trade for 125 dol lars. If you should, bi aeksidept, git hold ova sound boss, git shut of him az soon az yu kan, for j r u wont be j happy with him. If, in swopping bosses, yugit kor nered, and bant lie, postpone the trade until next day. Noboddy ever expekts tew buy a hoss without gitting cheated; tbarefore, if a hoss jo. ky dont lie, ho loses one ov his blessed priviic ges. ADVISE TEW YOUNG DOKTORS. Hire au offiss on the main street of the villiage, and stay in the offiss. When yu do go out, alwus go on the jump. Don’t never talk mutch on euny subjek, but alwus look mis terious. Selduui go tew church, but when yu do, alwus leave before the church duz. Charge everybody like thunder and litening. Ifyupholler these rules clussly, and don’t suckceed, yu kan kuin tew the konldusion that the dok trine Dizziness ain’t so good as it was last year. Tiie amenities of social life and journalistic intercourse in Arkansas are fearful and wonderful to con template, if the following choice and high-toned outbreak may be accept ed as a characteristic specimen. Says one editor of another: “The volcanic, pimple-headed, blister brained, owl-faced, spiked-nosed, weasel-faced, web-footed, peg-leg ged, liliputian, foggy petti-fogger of the Democrat does not like our per sonal appearance. Until this foul mouthed, brazen debaser has been run through a sieve, a filter, scour ed, scrubbed, sponged and disinfect ed, until he is a fit object to enter decent society, we will forbear bav ng anything to say about him.” A Story is going the rounds ‘about a girl in Chester, Vermont dying from tight lacing. Au editor, commenting on the fact, says: These corsets should be done away with; and, if the girls can’t live without being squeezed, we suppose men could be found who would sacrifice themselves. As old as we are we would rather devote three hours a day, without a cent of pay, as a bre vet corset than see these girls dy ing off in that manner. Office hours almost any time.” Josh Billings says : The live man iz like a little pig ; he is wean ed young, and begins to root early. He is the pepersass of creation, the allspice of the world. One live man in a village iz like a case uv itch ia a distrikt skule—he sets everj'body skratching to oncst. If a laddie meets a lassie walk ing in the street; if the lassie wears a “ tilter “ —shows an ankle neat; if the wind, in rudely blowing, lifts her skirts too high, and the laddie sees that ankle, need a lassie cry ? Every lassie wears a “ tilter” and a “ hinderpest,” and a metal “ palpi tator” on her snowy breast. If, when married to the laddie, those false charms he spy ; if he says, “I’m sold by jingo!” need a lassie cry? A younq fellow, not so wise as Soloman, eating some Orange Cos. cheese full of mites one night at a restaurant, said: “Now I have done as much as Samson, for I have slain my thousands, and tens of thousands.” “Yes,” answered one of the com pany, “and with the same weapon, too — the jawbone of an ass.” A New England spinster, who went out to Nevada about a year ago, writes home that > she has al ready a husband, a pair of twins and has’t got much acquainted yet. Another woman has got old enough to begin to remember George Washington. Sim says he was °a large, white-looking old gentleman, with a great tenderness for children. He used to frequently take her upon his knee, fold her smoothly down across it, and spank her like fun. We esteem the reminiscence a flick er of the old beldame’s expiring agination. To curse take anew axe, put a while hickory handle in it, fin r fu a 5°! e m A he tO P of thc handle fill the with gum camphor, and seal it up. Then take the axe and cut cord wood until the heat of the handle dissolves the eamphor. We hope the ladies will come back to a simple style of hair dressing when they remember that most of til [ aIS H ia ) r tIRV P urcll ase is from »broad th ° Pr ‘ BoßS herc and [Terms—s2 A YEAR