Newspaper Page Text
8
' LAUGH ON THE REPORTER.
When Marquis Ito was in the
United States in 1901 an inexperi
enced St. Paul reporter sought an
interview with him. lie met Ito’s
secretary and thus made known his
mission: “Me newspaper man. Me
writee news. Me heardee marquis
Telly ill. lie better today? You
savve?” began tin* reporter, to the
secreKiry’s amazement. Hut the lat
ter was equal to the occasion. “Me
savve,” he said gravely. “Marquis
heno better. \ ylly bind. Catcheo
cold. Doctor Him no lettee him
leave bled today. You savve?”
The interview proceeded this way,
but at its termination tin 1 secretary,
with a twinkle in his eye, remarked,
“The marquis is "greatly fatigued by
his arduous journey, but”— But
the reporter fled.
y Why Canada Writhes.
Canada is incensed at statements
made about it in certain text books
used in English schools. Here is a
small collection: When the winter
sots in “the people make up their
minds to be snowed up till spring.”
The Atlantic coast is the Most use
ful at present, but “most of it'is
irozen up m winter.' “Maiuluuiis
treeless” is another astounding
item of information. The English
boy is further informed that “in a
blazing forest there is the risk that
a fallen trunk or a branch may at
any moment, block the line or throw |
the train off the rails.” But here is
the gem of the collection: “The
chief states at present are Quebec,
Maine and New Brunswick.”
Man’s Inhumanity to Motors.
No one in his senses gallops his
horse On the highroad, nor does the
captain of a twenty knot steamer,
drive her continuously at full pres
sure. In the motor car alone is
this rule habitually disregarded. If
it is geared to twenty-five miles an
hour its owner is always trying to
extract an extra five from it. The
majority of petrol motors are run
habitually far above the speed for
which they were made, with the re
sult that their life is considerably
shortened. The first consideration
to the man who wishes to motor
economically is to make a fixed re
solve to treat his ear mercifully.—
Country Life.
Cancer and Beer.
An inquiry by l>r. Alfred Wolff
into the mysterious cause of cancer
has yielded an unexpected conclu
sion w hich promises temperance ad
vocates a now and powerful argu
ment. Dr. WoltT discovers that all
the districts of high cancer mortal
ity are those in which beer or eider
is largely drunk. Bavaria, for in
stance, heads the list in Germany
and Salzburg in Austria, both great
beer drinking provinces. In France
the statistics are still more striking.
There is the most marked contrast
between the high earner mortality
in beer drinking departments and
the low death rate from cancer else
where.
Robbed “Himself.
A story w hich recalls Thomas In
goldsbv's “Spectre of Tappington”
comes from the German town of
Tubingen. A certain jeweler of the
town complained to the police that
his house was burglarized nearly ev
ery night and that they had better
do something about it. A detective
was set to watch the shop, and he
caught the thief, who, as the astute
reader has already guessed, was the
jeweler himself. He was a somnam
bulist. It seems a pity that a tal
ent for burglary should be wasted
on one's ow n property.
Breaking Into Jail.
A German cripple has succeeded
in beating the kaiser’s government
in a clever wav. He recently wan
dered into a police station, borrow- 1
ed a pencil and pveee of paper and
wrote something against the kaiser,
handed it to the desk man and was
arrested for leze majesty at once.
This was what he wanted. He had
been in jail for nine terms for sim
ilar offenses and said he found jail
more comfortable than the poor
house.
Time and Telegraphy.
Investigations by the Prussian
academy to determine the difference
of longitude between Greenwich
and Potsdam showed that signals
could be sent over the ordinary route
of about 744 miles with relays in
one eight-hundredth of % second.
Over a lengthened line, including
6SO miles of overland w res and “64
of cable, without relays, signals
were senb in one fourteen-hundredth
of a second.
A Howells Retort.
W. D. Howells, the novelist, sel
dom fails whefn any one ha^jmimad
▼erted on his corpulence *o come
out with a neat retort. When Mr.
Howells was consul at Venice a very
lean and long American said to him
one day jocosely, “If I wefe as fai
as you I’d go and hang mvself.”
“Weil,” said Mr. Howells, “if I ever
take ▼our advice I'll use vou foe •
jrop*.*
A LITTLE NONSENSE.
• %
Sd Happenings as Viewed From an
Ocean Styamer.
The great steamer plowed monot
onously on through the, quiet sea.
No sail, not even t be smoke of a dis
tant liner, rested the eye from the
expanse of heaven and water. The
j day was almost done, and the soft,
silvery light that fel f' across the
! waves glistened now and then upon
the scales of some playful fish as it
; leaped from its native element. The
gods were at peace with the world,
I and danger slept. ’ v
And yet the face of the captain
! as lie leaned over the rail and gazed
with his glass io#the west wore a
troubled look. Observant passen
gers gathered about him, wondering
•sit hi strange silence— 1!q seemed
unconscious of their presence, and 1
questions brought no answers to the
inquisitive. Women, began to look
in to-tlie eyes of their husbands, and
the children felt a, strange fear
creep inlo their hearts as they
grasped the skirts of their mothers.
Something was wrong, hut what?
A sigh escaped from the breast of
the bravest seaman.
“■JVor devil! We can do him no
good." Ami them its?h(f noted for
the fifst time (he anxious upturned
faces, he smiled sadly. “It is not
we, but, more's the pity, that while
we sail so •safely another, beyond
our aid, goes down. Look!” And
he passed the glass to the nearest
passenger. “You can make it out—
clojje on the western horizon—the
sun—it’s sinking!” he moaned, and
a manlv tear trickled slowly down
his cheek, rolled overboard into the
ocean with a silent splash. And the
ocean salted it down.—J udge.
An Advantage.
—
“Do you object to your husband
betting on an election?”
“Yes, but it's better than betting
on a horse race. There is at least
the satisfaction of knowing that
your candidate isn't going to run
sixth or seventh.”
Logic, if Not Grammar.
The teacher was trying to impress
upon her class the right uses of “is”
and “ere.”
“Johnnie,” said she, “if we say
‘One boy is good,' what should we
say of two boys ?”
" ‘Two boy> is bad,’ ” responded
Johnnie.—Chicago Record-Herald.
A Place of Safety.
“Don’t you feel a little nervous
in vour new automobile?”
“No," answer'd the man whose
clothes snu 11 of gasoline. “When
1 am in that machine a sense of
perfect security comes over me. I
know 1 can't be run over.”—Wash
ington Star.
. .
His Opportunity.
“Come on,Billy,” said Burroughs,
who was buying drinks very freely,.
“you’re just in time. What'll you
have ?”
"Til have that $e you owe me, if j
you don't mind," replied Lenders.— !
Philadelphia Press.
The Puzzle Department.
"He's employed by the railway t
company now, 1 understand.”
“Yes; he has charge of the puzzle !
department.”
“The what ?”
“He makes out the time tables.”
—Chicago Journal.
An Unbreakable Bond.
Calvert Junior—My, but you seem
to think a lot of that fellow*. Did
he ever save your life ?
Baity Moore—Better than that; j
he lent me a collar button onee when j
mine came out at a party. —-Bain- i
more American.*' ‘
Refreshments First.
Binks—Did yon t.nd the southern
people hospitable ?
Jiuks—Well, rat Iter. Thev didn't j
even ask m* m\ ptme ye ttjj I had'
forgotten' ▼ v£is.-^c. .giant j (
CcmmeWa! TYT^r*?.
C a-..; ■
- “Why should*'; trev tin soci
ety?” ' *
“Well. I dob't k They”—
“Certainlv their money is as good
as anybody’s, and theix manners as
bad.”—Puck.
THE NBWS. CABTHRSVILLK GEORGIA, OCTOBER 27, UK*.
Furniture Peliah.
Put into a bottle half a pint each
of turpentine and linseed oil and
one gill each of methylated spirits
and vinegar, shaking these well to
gether till thoroughly mixed. Al
ways remember to shake the bottle
■ well before using.
* French Cake.
One cup of sugar, two eggs, one
| fourth cup of butter, one-half cup
\ of milk, one and a half cups of flour,
j one teii'poonful of cream of tartar,
one-half teaspoonful of soda.
Danger In Fall Folds.
'Fall colds are liable to hang on all
winter leaving the seeds of pneu
monia, bronchitis or consumption,
Foley's Money and Tar cures quickly
prevents serious results. It mold and
i reliable, tried and test ed, safe and
I sure. Contains no .'opiates and will
not const iuate. Greene Drug Cos.
—rw~ ■ -—'
C- uta-lfas "A* (iiit. X -Zi- t
B Canj the Have £w*js Bougrt
hood lor Children.
The pleasant to take and harmless
One Minute Cough Cure gives instant
relief in all cases of Cougb. Croup
and I,uGrippe because it divesnm pass
immediately into the stomach, but !
takes effect right at the seat of the
trouble. M ilraws out the inllajuinia
tion. heals and soothes and cures per
manently by enabling the lungs To
contribute pure life-giving and life
sustaining oxygen to the blood and
tissues. Sold by Greene Drug Cos. 1
Bearr live Ito kind v oti Have Alvzays Bougß
l’ill Pleasure.
If you ever took DeWitt’s Little
Early Risers for billiousness or con
stipation von know what pill pleasure
is. These famous little pills cleanse
the liver and rid the system of all
bile without producing unpleasant
effects. They do not gripe, sicken or
weaken, but pleasantly give tone and
strength to the tissues and organs of
the stomach, liver and bowels. Sold
by Greene Drug Cos.
A Sustaining Diet.
These are the enervating davs
when, as somebody has said, men
drop by the sunstroke as if the Day
of fire had dawned. They are fraught
with danger to people whose systems
are poor y sustained; and this leads
us to say, in the fnterest of the less
robust of our readers, that the full
effect of Hood’s Sarsaparilla is such
as to suggest the propriety of calling
this medicine something besides a
blood purifier and tonic—say, a sus
taining diet. Itmakis it much eas
ier to hear the heat, assures refresh
ing sleep and will without any doubt
avert much sickness at this time of
year.
ter's |
I Do you like your thin, rough, j?
short hair? Of course you /
don’t. Do you like thick, |
heavy, smooth hair? Off
| course you do. Then why f
fc HI 5% vv U/f gi ryi .
A ICS. ■ 1 ? igOi ►
not be pleased? Ayer's Hair |
Vigor makes beautiful heads &
of hair, that’s the whole /
storv. Sold for 60 years.
,’, . b
“ I have n o * A ■ <*r s fiair vnjor for a long §*
time. It ts. it dt*ed. a wonderful l air touir. g
mtorini 1 tea Ith to the kiir and scalp, and, at J*
<> t !
lbs. J. W. Tatl JI, Madiil. led. T. 8
Jt.Wt a botUr ,T. c. (YIEC9. h
•■waKxauciui iOl BSBBMBfBBH s
- Haisi
KIDNEY DISEASES
are the most fatal of all dis
eases.
Cfll CY’C kidney cure it i
I ULI l 0 Suaraatatd Rssedy
or money refunded. Contains
remedies recognized by emi
nent physicians as the best for
Kidney and Bladder troubles.
PRICE 50c. UM t $1.06.
ILLINOIS CENTRAL
RAILROAD
Direct Route to the
Si. Louis Exposilion
TWO TRAINS DAILY,
la i-n •• i h V-. \*.K.R. A \ t. t SUL. R.
fW>a Atlanta -
Li t§£l< I . ;17 a.aa. At St. 7:e> a b
*• *• • a. b. Jr St. Loa| p b
WiTK KROLCH SLEEPING CARS
K#, T OF THE FAMOUS
‘T FLYER”
■ : C f’.eypb tr rrr fro*
' . t - .a* J acksoo-
YUi. d.-i . - tier ’s vSS a m . giviu*
j-oaa- .. Hi. 1 < tun to *• locuted
l'r t.. ' " nrW'i Fair Gcitb
FooL ss- - rS • i 4 Osar renervanoa*.
•. l)6t*-? and Boarim.
F t ED D. MILLER,
Traveling Passenger Agent
No. I N. Prvor St. AtlarAa, Ca.
ft.- r.----. a
: ; T ft
,
! AYegdablePrcparationforAs
similating the Food andßegula
i ling the Stomachs and Bowels of
_ Tj'sHvL ■■ iiS* :j ii;y. 2
| Promotes Digestion.CheerfuT*
ness and Rest. Con tains neither
Opium,Morphine nor Mineral.
Not Narc otic .
* /tmpraTOM Or SAMUEL PITCHKJt
’Hanpkm Seed ~ .
Mx.Senna * J
K/*k*tlr Salts - I
rtru.ee Sent t |
l
X -
Clmthtd Sugar
h&tkryrven Flavor. J
A perfect Remedy for Cons Spa
hon, Sour Stomach, Diarrhoea
Worms .Convulsions .Feverish
ness and Loss of Sleep.
Facsimile Signature of
KEW YORK.
t
EXACT COPY OF WRAPPER.
j| y\ £%l The New
® Body Builder
As delicious as a Fresh Orange
Supersedes eld-fashioned Cod Liver Oil and Emulsions
Guaranteed to contain all the medicinal elements, actually taken
from genuine fresh cods’ livers, with organic iron and other
body-building ingredients, hut no oil or grease, making the
greatest strength and flesh creator known to medicine. For
old people, puny children, weak, pale women, nursing
mothers, chronic cold, hacking coughs, throat and lung
troubles, incipient consumption—nothing equals Vino!.
Try it—if you don’t like it we will return monfey.
THE PLACE TO BUY YOUR
FURN ITURD
IS AT
GEO. M. JACKSON'S.
Having studied liu- wants of the j k 1<- > I th ! a locality in his line,
he is reaey to meet th< se w nils with a complete stock ot
CHEAP IKEDHJM AfVID FSk'E
FURN ITURE
ru.L ir.irg aid Fsteral Directing a SfEciaiij.
CJOODS SOM> o_\ THE IXsTALLMEXT HIS
Store Phone IC4. Residence Phone 85.
JOHN R. TOXJNG & CO
Real Estate and Immigration Agents.
Cartersville, - - Georgia.
Office with W. H. Howard, over Young Bros., Drug Store.
Being largely acquainted in most of the Northwestern States, where the tide of
Immigration starts Southward, ami h tving several years ot experience in
the Real Estate an* Immigration business, it will be our purpose to bring
home-seekers to Bartow and adjoining counties, if we can get property
enough listed at fair valuation to induce them to come and see it.
Dout forget 10 cal) and list your property with us if it is for sale.
( Farmer Attention !
Nothing better in the way of a liniment
for horses and other
stock as well as for
r'_ " '"s loan's
■PM j LINIMENT
fce . ▼ KILLS PAIN
Very Penetrating - Best Antiseptic known
F* r Infects and Cfail&rer
fhe H nd You Haw
Always Bought
Bears the i
Signature /Aw
.- w
rv J[V In
rffjjT Use
For Over
Thirty Years
GASTORIA
THI CIN’-.UH COMPANY. NEW YORK CITY.
INTERESTING
~ INSTRUCTIVE
"(Porrect^jnp/isJf
tJHCow to use it"
A Monthly Magazine Devoted to the Proper
Use of English
JOSEPHINE tURCK BAKEJ. Editor
SI.OO a Year. SO cts. a Copy
PARTIAL CONTENTS FOR THIS MONTH.
Suggestions for the Speaker. What to say and
what not to say.
Suggestions for the Writer.
Errors and Models in English from noted Authors.
The Art of Conversation. How to increase one’s
vocabulary.
Compound Words. How to write them.
Shall and Will. How to u- e them.
Punctuation; Pronunciation.
Correct English m the Home.
Write for Free Sample Copy to
CORRECT ENGLISH - Evanston, lIL
Liberal Terms to Agents.
3A B Y
E- A S IL
r -' T v. arncu n WMneMMr3MMTi{ -mu mem
Is the best and safest remedy for
all stomach and Bowel froubles of
babies ar,l chil.Ven. It qniekhn
cures constipation, diarrhoea, con
vulsions, worms, sour stomach arid
loss of sleep. It is perfectly harm
less, but very effective. Children
like to take it. At all drug-stores—
a large bottle for : : : ; ;
25. CENTS
Ask your druggist about the
FREE GOLD RING ofer
Georgians!
satisfaction,
new pair Jtf
your W
money /in
back
°n |/a\|
“President
Suspenders
Comfort and Service. Mo rust or leather
to soil the shirt. 50 cents and $1 at
J. BURNSTUIM’S and other stores.
Made and Guaranteed by
The C. A. EDGARTON Mfg. Cos.
SHIRLEY, MASS.
. u i
r a tor V
tree 100 k, f
* Lo-v . • c •• -i v*A v.ritc r
J * . to f
, 'j |.w ytrn >
‘V; , *
: h : '; 1 ;-4'
■ V s*j
; • h Le,- ' -
iT ‘t { * “V 1 * 1A VCO SHi f
U> i 4 and SMOKE
= - . ■ Voar Lifeawav!
Yon can be cured of any form of tobacco n< inp
easily, be made well, strong, magnetic full o.
new life and vigor by taking tiO-TO-BAfi
that makes weak men strong. Mam p n
ten pounds m ten days. Over SOU OC O
cured. All druggists. Cure guaranteed/ Bcoz
_kL ® d i’ lce L r KE. Address STERLING
m-j4Eiiv lu "*r Kay vote i?"
Seed Annual
|k °* D FERRV A C °‘ jj '
ENGLISH
S&B
e.d metallic boxes, with bl-e ridboa.
Take no other. Kefu.e atantceron* •nboli-
Initiation.. Buy of yoor Drupgtst,
‘l gr fartleular., Tett
n>oni-l and- Roller for l aAle. - m letter,
2SJJISS** 11 - Testimonials. Sold by
CHICHBBTSR CHEMICAL CO.
SIO® XadlMß Sqaarr. PA
_ Hwt.. tan
A free hottle of Dr. Thacher’s Liver and
Slood Syrup will be sect to any reader of
paper who will write to tie* TUacber
Ncdicia* Cos., Chattanooga, Tens.